Episode 646: TLP 646: Sleep & Your Family, Part 2 | God’s expectations

We can see that going to bed when you should, getting up when you should, and refusing to be ruled by either exhaustion-producing habits or excessive comfort can all fall under. Parenting isn't about us.

In fact, parenting isn't even about our kids. Parenting is just one way Christian dads and moms are to worship God. So welcome to the Truth, Love, Parent podcast, where we train dads and moms to give God the preeminence in their parenting.

Welcome back to the show. I hope everyone is well rested. And if you're not, at least you're excited to hear what God would have you to do. This short series has free notes, life work, and links to related resources in the description of today's episode.

I hope you'll check those out. But if you're just joining us, please listen to the previous episode so you can learn about the sleep questionnaire. If you and your family already listened to that episode, however, I hope that you each have completed your sleep surveys and are ready to dive into what the scriptures have to say about sleep.

And of course, if you're interested in having a biblical counselor work through your sleep questionnaire with you to help diagnose the physical and spiritual reasons you may not be sleeping as well as you could, you can contact us at counselor at truthloveparent .com.

The Bible’s Unified Teaching About Sleep

Now let's get started. On our last episode, I cited two passages that talk about sleep. We're going to consider those today, along with a slew of others. Most people are exceedingly unaware that the Bible presents a unified doctrine of sleep.

It may not be as thorough as other doctrines, but there's quite a bit of material on the subject. But before we get any further along in our discussion today, I want to make yet another impassioned plea that you and your family visit truthloveparent .com forward slash donate and sign up to be a monthly donor.

We desperately need your support and look forward to ministering to your family through our podcast, the Evermind app, our books, our conferences, our counseling, and so much more. Please click the link in the description for truthloveparent .com forward slash donate and sign up today.

Sleeping at the Wrong Times

All right, the following passages teach powerful truths about various ways our sleep can be affected by our lifestyles. I'm going to read a number of passages and they're not exactly in the same order as what you see in your sleep plan handout.

So above all else, please pay close attention. God's word never returns void. It's designed to do a powerful work in our lives if we let it. Let's start from the general and work to the specific. Number one, the Bible illustrates that you can sleep at all the wrong times.

Matthew 26, 40 through 46 reads,. And he came to the disciples and found them sleeping. And he said to Peter, So could you not watch with me one hour? Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation.

The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. Again for the second time he went away and prayed, My father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done. And again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy.

So leaving them again, he went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same words again. Then he came to the disciples and said to them, Sleep and take your rest later on. See the hour is at hand and the Son of Man is betrayed into the hand of sinners.

Rise, let us be going. See my betrayer is at hand. Mark 14, 37 through 42 and Luke 22, 45 through 46 chronicle this same account. Proverbs 10, 5 reveals, He who gathers in summer is a son who acts insightfully.

He who sleeps and harvests is a son who acts shamefully. Harvest time was the wrong time for this young man to sleep. Using more figurative language, Mark 13, 33 through 37 shows us that there are simply times that require us to be awake.

See to it. Keep on the alert, for you do not know when the appointed time is. It is like a man away on a journey who, upon leaving his house, put his slaves in charge assigning to each one his task. Also, commanding the doorkeeper to stay on the alert.

Therefore, stay awake, for you do not know when the master of the house is coming, whether in the evening, at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or in the morning, lest he come suddenly and find you sleeping.

And what I say to you, I say to all, stay awake. Now, the truth Jesus is teaching here extend far beyond mere sleeping, okay? But the observations are still there and they're built off of the observations from real life.

And then Ecclesiastes 3, 1 teaches us that for everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven. There are times God wants us sleeping and there are times we shouldn't be sleeping.

The application for us is that we must not take for granted that we always sleep at the right times and for the right amount of time. There are spiritual truths that need to guide when we sleep. So, I think we need to get more specific.

Sin, Laziness, and Excessive Sleep

Number two, the Bible illustrates that not enough sleep, or sleeping at the wrong times, can be a result of sin. John 3, 19 says broadly, and this is the judgment, that light has come into the world and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil.

Here we see people who pursue evil in the dark while other people are sleeping. In a more metaphorical way, Romans 13, 12 through 14 use the imagery of dark and light to exemplify evil and righteousness.

Our biblical families series, which is a free family devotional through the book of 1 John, deals a lot with this concept. But I want to focus on the more concrete descriptions of how we use our daytime and nighttime hours.

The sin with the most examples of sleeping at the wrong times is laziness. Pay close attention to how the scriptures pair sleeping with being lazy. Proverbs 6, 9 through 11, How long will you lie there, O sluggard?

When will you arise from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber and a want like an armed man. Proverbs 19, 15, Slothfulness casts into a deep sleep, and an idle person will suffer hunger.

Proverbs 24, 33 through 34 is a repeat of what we read in Proverbs 6, 10 through 11. Now, anytime the Bible quotes itself word for word, it's important that we listen even more carefully. Proverbs 12, 13, Love not sleep, lest you come to poverty.

Open your eyes, and you will have plenty of bread. Proverbs 24, 30 through 34, I passed by the field of a sluggard and by the vineyard of a man lacking a heart, and behold it was completely overgrown with thistles, its surface was covered with nettles, and its stone wall was torn down.

Then I beheld, I set my heart upon it, I saw, I received a discipline. A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to lie down, and your poverty will come as one who walks and your want like an armed man.

Now, that's the third time we've heard these exact same words in the book of Proverbs. And then Proverbs 26, 14,. As the door turns on its hinges, so does the sluggard on his bed. And then in Proverbs 31, verse 15, we're given an example of someone who is very much not lazy.

She's a valuable woman whose worth is far above rubies. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. But laziness isn't the only sin that can affect our sleep.

Violence, Drunkenness, and Sexual Sin

Unlike laziness, which causes us to sleep too much, pursuing violence causes people to sleep at the wrong times. Proverbs 4, 14 through 19 reveals a similar group of people. So, do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not step in the way of evil men.

Avoid it, do not pass by it, turn away from it, and pass on, for they do not sleep unless they do evil, and they are robbed of sleep unless they make someone stumble, for they eat the bread of wickedness and drink the wine of violence.

But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn that shines brighter and brighter until the fullness of day. The way of the wicked is like thick darkness, they do not know over what they stumble.

Drunkenness also disturbs our sleep. 1 Thessalonians 5, 6 through 8 tells us,. So then let us not sleep as others do, but let us be alert and sober. For those who sleep sleep at night, and those who get drunk are drunk at night.

But since we are of the day, let us be sober, having put on the breastplate of faith and love and as a helmet the hope of salvation. Sinful sexuality is also described in the Bible as something that disrupts our healthy sleep patterns.

Proverbs 7, 6 through 10 describes a young man pursuing this sin at night. And Job 24, 13 through 17 unveils similar truths, but in much more powerful verbiage. Others have been with those who rebel against the light, they do not recognize its way nor abide in its paths.

The murderer arises at dawn, he kills the afflicted and the needy, and at night he is a thief. The eye of the adulterer also waits for the twilight, saying, No, I will see me, and he veils his face. In the dark they dig through houses, by day they shut themselves up, they do not know light.

For deep darkness is mourning to all of them, for they are friends with the terrors of deep darkness. And sometimes our sleep is actually disrupted by God himself, because the guilt and conviction about our sin plagues us at night.

In Psalm 32, 3 through 4, David explains,. When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long, for day and night your hand was heavy upon me, my vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer.

Psalm 38, 3 through 8 provides additional support for this experience. I want to end this point with a passage from Luke 6, 12, in which Jesus did the important work of commuting with his Father regardless of the time.

In these days he went out to the mountain to pray, and all night he continued in prayer to God. So, we see that some sin causes us to sleep too much, other sin causes us to sleep at the wrong times, but sometimes hard work in pursuing that which glorifies God will also impact our sleep.

Lack of Faith and Anxious Toil

So, how are we to know? This next point is an important part of the puzzle. 3. The Bible illustrates that not enough sleep is often the result of a lack of faith in God. Psalm 127, 2 says, It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil, for he gives to his beloved sleep.

A person who rises early and goes to bed late because they feel as though everything rests on them is missing the providence and sufficiency of God. Psalm 6, 6, I am weary with my moaning. Every night I flood my bed with tears, I drench my couch with weeping.

David could have enjoyed the forgiveness and peace of God, but instead his eyes turned inward. Job 7, 13 through 15 reveals what happens when we let our distresses be bigger to us than God. When I say, My bed will comfort me, my couch will ease my complaint.

Then you frighten me with dreams and terrify me with visions, so that my soul would choose suffocation, death, rather than my pains. Mark 4, 35 through 41 says this,. On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, Let us go across to the other side.

And leaving the crowd, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. And other boats were with him, and a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling.

But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke him and said, Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing? And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, Peace, be still. And the winds ceased, and there was a great calm.

He said to them, Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith? And they were filled with great fear and said to one another, Who is this then, that even the wind and the sea obey him? Now why was Jesus asleep?

Well, I believe it's right to say that he was stewarding his health. We know from earlier passages that his schedule was overwhelming, but we also know that Jesus was testing his disciples. He not only taught them the importance of trust in God, but then he illustrated for them through his sleep in the midst of the storm.

Psalm 4, 8 shows us the comforting sleep of those who trust the Lord. In peace I will both lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, make me to dwell in safety. And Psalm 3, 5 tells us, I lay down and slept, I awoke, for Yahweh sustains me.

Later in the same passage, verses 21 through 26 go on to say, Then you will walk in your way securely, and your foot will not stumble. When you lie down, you will not be in dread. Yes, you will lie down, and your sleep will be pleasant.

Do not be afraid of sudden dread, nor of the storm of the wicked when it comes, for Yahweh will be your confidence, and he will keep your foot from being caught. And then Psalm 121, verses 3 through 4 beautifully shows us that God will not allow your foot to stumble.

He who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, he who keeps Israel will not slumber and will not sleep. It is precisely because our all-loving, all-powerful, all-knowing, all-present God doesn't sleep that we can trust him while we sleep.

Believing that truth can allow us to proclaim what Psalm 91, 1 through 6 tells us, You will not be afraid of the terror by night, or of the arrow that flies by day. And Isaiah 26, 3 through 4 is one of my favorite passages.

The steadfast of mind you will keep in perfect peace, because he trusts in you. Trust in Yahweh forever, for in Yahweh we have everlasting, we have an everlasting rock. I believe this is the reason the psalmist says in Psalm 63, 5 through 6, My soul is satisfied as with fatness and richness, and my mouth praises you with lips of joyful songs.

When I remember you upon my bed, I meditate on you in the night watches. My friends, this is nothing more than a podcast episode listing our various biblical reasons we don't sleep when we should, we don't sleep well, and we don't sleep at all.

But it will take mature insight and or meeting with a biblical counselor or discipler to determine if we individuals are actually guilty of sinful sleep patterns and the sin that causes them. I mean, you're not just going to necessarily figure all that out and address them just by listening to this episode, but this does give you things to think about.

Again, we're all convinced that we do everything right, but it's when we come face to face with the whole of scripture that the Holy Spirit and truth speaking Christians can help us see that what we thought was a good idea isn't.

Stewarding the Body for God’s Glory

So please don't move past this episode and these scriptures without carefully and honestly inspecting your life and asking others to help you do the same, especially as it includes this final point. Number four, stewarding our health to the glory of God with an emphasis on sleep.

The Bible gives a substantial theology of the body, physical weakness, food, work, rest, self-control, strength, and stewardship, and we can go on. And of course, the controlling principle for all of it is this, letter A, your body belongs to God and it is to be used for His glory.

First Corinthians 6, 12 through 20 is the foundational New Testament passage. All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything.

Then Paul says, yet the body is not for sexual immorality, but for the Lord and the Lord is for the body. And finally, or do you not know that your body is a sanctuary of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own for you are bought with a price.

Therefore, glorify God in your body. The foundational truths that need to root how we care for our bodies are as follows. Not everything permissible is profitable. A Christian should not be mastered by anything.

The body is for the Lord. Your body is not ultimately for your own possession. The purpose of the body is to glorify God. That principle can legitimately be applied to sleep. The question is not merely, can I stay awake or can I sleep all day?

Physical Activities and God’s Glory

The real stewardship question is, is my pattern of sleep profitable or is it mastering me? Does the way I treat my body enable me to glorify God? Letter B. Everything, including physical activities, should be done for God's glory.

First Corinthians 10 31 is also one of my favorite passages. Whether then you eat or drink or whatsoever you do, do all to the glory of God. Eating and drinking are ordinary physical activities. Paul takes them and places them under the authority of one overarching purpose, do all to the glory of God.

Of course, sleep is not specifically named in that passage, but the principle plainly applies to the ordinary physical stewardship of life as well, as it says in whatever you do. Therefore, I believe one of our major theses should be this.

We should steward our physical health, including our sleep, not merely so that we feel better or live longer, but so that we are better equipped to glorify God with the bodies he has given us. You see how God is always the main emphasis.

Physical Needs Without Anxiety

Letter C. God recognizes that the body has legitimate needs. The Bible does not portray physical needs as inherently unspiritual. They exist. In Matthew 6 25 -34, Jesus says,. Do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink, nor for your body, as to what you will put on.

Now, Jesus isn't denying the legitimacy of physical needs. Food, drink, clothing, and the body are all real concerns. His teaching is that these needs must be approached with trust in the Father rather than anxiety.

And of course, he goes on to say, If your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things, and seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, then all these things will be added to you. Some more foundational truths for our sleep include,.

Sleep and Rest as God’s Provision

Your physical needs absolutely matter. God knows that you have physical needs. Physical needs should not become the object of anxiety, but God's kingdom remains the first priority. So letter D. Sleep and rest are part of God's provision for human beings.

I'm not going to re-read all the previous passages about the assumed necessity of sleep, but I will remind us that the Bible says so much about sleep and rest. In fact, God instituted the necessity of a whole day of rest into the very rhythms of life.

Our other podcast, A Celebration of God, digs into the biblical data concerning rest and tries to help all of us worship God better with our rest. Those links are in the description with all the others.

The undeniable fact is that we absolutely need sleep. We will die if we don't sleep. And most of us aren't getting enough sleep, therefore proper sleep requires humility. We have to submit to God's plan for our physical and spiritual health.

Proper Rest Is Not Laziness

Therefore, letter E. Proper rest is not laziness. Yes, the Bible absolutely condemns sloth, but it does not glorify constant activity either. Mark 6, 30 -31 tells us that after the apostles returned from ministry, Jesus said, Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.

The reason giving is that there are many people coming and going and they did not even have time to eat. Jesus recognized that sustained activity often requires deliberate withdrawal and rest. This is an important corrective to the idea that exhaustion automatically demonstrates godliness and that we need to burn ourselves out for God.

Excessive Sleep as Poor Stewardship

Again, the day of rest exemplifies that human beings were not designed for uninterrupted labor. Letter F. The opposite problem is also true. Excessive sleep can be poor stewardship. We're not going to re-read all the passages about laziness, but we have to acknowledge that biblical stewardship does not automatically mean more work or more sleep, more exercise or more restriction, or more physical comfort.

It means using God's gifts appropriately for God's purposes. It requires wisdom and maturity and a pursuit of God's glory. It isn't going to happen naturally when we want or don't want to sleep. And that flows into letter G.

Refusing to Be Mastered by Bodily Appetites

We should not allow bodily appetites or habits to master us. This principle is particularly important for health. We need to ask ourselves, am I stewarding this or is this mastering me? In Romans 6, 12 -19, Paul teaches that believers are not to present themselves to sin, but to God.

Do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its lusts. He also writes, present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. And then he says, present your members as slaves to righteousness leading to sanctification.

Bodily Discipline and Godliness

The body and its members are therefore something we consciously present to God for His purposes. Letter H. Physical strength has value, but it is not the ultimate goal. 1 Timothy 4, 7 -8 says, discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness, for bodily discipline is only profitable for a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.

Notice what Paul does not say. Bodily discipline is worthless. He says it is profitable for a little, therefore bodily discipline has value, physical stewardship has value, but godliness has greater and more eternal value.

This protects us from two opposite errors. Error number one is my body doesn't matter, only my soul matters. That is not biblical. You don't just get to eat whatever you want and abuse your body. Error number two, physical health is the ultimate measure of a successful life.

That is also not biblical and that's a huge trend in the world and in the church today. All these guys going to the gym, working out their bodies is great, but is that the ultimate measure of their successful life?

Self-Control in Sleep Stewardship

The body matters, but it serves a greater purpose, us worshiping the Lord. You can spend too much time at the gym. And then letter I. God expects us to exercise self-control. Sleep stewardship and health stewardship in general repeatedly comes back to self-control.

Galatians 5, 22 -23, Titus 2, 11 -12, 1 Peter 1, 13, and 5, 8 support a life that is ordered rather than controlled by impulse. When we apply this to our sleep, we see that going to bed when you should, getting up when you should, and refusing to be ruled by either exhaustion-producing habits or excessive comfort can all fall under biblical self-control.

Now, there is so much more that could be said about stewarding our health and the importance of Christ honoring sleep. But regardless of whether you need more sleep or less sleep, here are some important considerations for everyone, and these are on your life work handout.

Three Steps Toward Christ-Honoring Sleep

Number one, you will need to see God for who He is. We sin when we aren't in awe of God, and we need God for genuinely sweet sleep. Number two, you will need to see yourself for who you are. With the exception of unavoidable physical difficulties, your sinful choices are a major contributor to your sleep problems.

Number three, you will need help to have success. Up until now, you have built a habit of poor choices. It's vital to have people who can remind us to make better choices, and it's necessary to have people who will reprove us when we make the wrong choices.

So please join us next week for our final episode in this short series. We're going to talk about how to create new Christ-honoring sleep habits, as well as prepare you for the temptations you will face as you try to glorify God in your sleep.

Also, please email counselor at truthloveparent .com or leave a voicemail at 828 -423 -0894 if you need help pleasing the Lord with your sleep. This really is a big deal. I started this series by saying that most Christians are painfully unaware of God's expectations for our sleep, and far too many of us abuse our sleep, often because of unrepentant sin habits in our lives.

We would be honored to help you create a new Christ-honoring normal in your life. As always, please share this series with your friends, sign up to be a monthly donor, and then join us for part three, where we discuss creating a new normal.

Until then, please get some healthy sleep. Truth. Love. Parent is part of the Evermind Ministries family and is dedicated to helping you worship God through your parenting. So join us next time as we study God's Word to learn how to parent our children for life and godliness.

And remember that TLP is a listener-supported ministry. You can visit truthloveparent .com forward slash donate to learn more.