Church Soup Ep. 09 (Burning Man, Rambo Meets the Pope, The Beyonce Mass, and More!)

Your Calvinist iconYour Calvinist

8 views

Church soup is a satirical look at evangelical news. If you have ideas for future segments, leave a comment with #ChurchSoup On this episode, we look at the Burning Man emergency, Sylvester Stallone's visit with Pope Francis, more VBS for adults, and more! Some of the background video was provided by Videezy.com

0 comments

00:09
Welcome back to Church Soup, the only evangelical news show on the Internet which James White calls, quote, please stop asking me to be on your silly news show, end quote.
00:19
I'm your host, Keith Foskey, and yes, I often ask James White to do things he is too busy or unwilling to do, to the point that I've probably begun to annoy him and he wishes he never gave me his phone number.
00:30
But he did, so fingers crossed, one day we might have a segment entitled Uncle Jimmy Reads the News.
00:37
Moving on to our top story.
00:39
Burning Man is an annual festival held in the western United States where people pay over $500 a person to go into the desert and pretend to be hippies for a week.
00:49
According to burningman.org, participants in the event gather for nine days in an annual experiment and temporary community dedicated to radical self-expression and radical self-reliance.
01:02
Well, this year their radical self-reliance was put to the test when attendees found themselves trapped shortly after the event began when the area was flooded by torrential rainfall which turned the desert basin into a muddy mess which cars were unable to cross.
01:17
Comedian Chris Rock was among this year's Burning Man attendees and he reportedly journeyed six miles through the desert on September 2nd to escape the difficult terrain, which some were comparing to quicksand.
01:29
When Chris Rock was asked about his arduous journey, he stated, Well, it's still better than getting slapped in the face by Will Smith.
01:36
In Catholic news, Sylvester Stallone and his family had the opportunity to meet with Pope Francis recently where the actor was surprised to find out that the leader of the Roman Catholic Church loves his films.
01:47
Stallone is seen in this clip playfully inviting the aging Francis to a boxing match.
01:59
During the meeting, Francis went on to say that while he appreciated Stallone's filmography, he really questioned some of the acting choices he made in the 90s, particularly the movie Stop or My Mom Will Shoot where Stallone acted alongside Estelle Getty from The Golden Girls.
02:15
Stallone responded with, A holy father, I don't tell you how to pope, you don't tell me how to act, you know? That was a horrible Stallone.
02:24
I'm sorry.
02:25
I apologize.
02:26
Stallone has invited Pope Francis to star in his next film, Expendables 13, Escape from the Vatican.
02:33
In political news, Donald Trump continues his campaign to become the next president of the United States.
02:39
And in a recent stop in Rapid City, South Dakota, Trump gave what some are calling a presidential altar call.
02:46
And help build America into the greatest nation in the history of the world.
02:53
We are a nation in decline.
03:14
Immediately following this, the musicians began to play Just as I Am while Trump invited people to come forward and receive him in their hearts as president.
03:23
In big even news, we continue to see example after example of corporate worship becoming VBS for adults.
03:30
Case in point is Church of the Rock where they put on a play called Joy Story which uses the characters from Pixar's Toy Story to tell the story of Jesus.
03:39
You are the father of evil.
03:42
Power back.
03:46
It is finished.
03:55
I hate everything.
03:57
In irreverent news, the Beyoncé Mass is a worship service that uses music and personal life experiences from the famous female singer-songwriter to interpret scripture.
04:06
And as you can imagine, the result is quite bizarre.
04:10
In particular, this womanist Lord's Prayer.
04:13
As we pray this womanist Lord's Prayer, our mother who is in heaven and within us, we call upon your names.
04:25
Your wisdom come.
04:27
Your will be done.
04:29
In all the spaces in which you dwell.
04:32
Well, I hope it was a blast for them because it was certainly a blast for me.
04:37
In prophecy news, a video was posted recently of a man speaking what he claimed were words of prophecy over his audience while asking them if they felt electricity running through their tongue, which he stated was the power to have the tongue of Moses and the ability to speak power over the elements.
04:53
He later asked if anyone had electricity running through their head or down their arms.
04:58
Somebody has on...
05:00
It feels like there's electricity running through your tongue.
05:03
Electricity like running through your head.
05:06
Same thing.
05:06
It feels a sensation you've never had before.
05:09
I want to take a moment and say, if any of you in the audience are currently feeling a sensation in your jaw, neck or arm, that could be a sign of a heart attack.
05:18
I encourage you to seek immediate medical attention.
05:21
In entertainment news, rapper Dan Surr is being called Goldilocks since undergoing a medical procedure which allows him to use gold chains in place of his hair.
05:31
The 23-year-old claims to be the first rapper in history to have had hooks surgically implanted into his scalp, which he now uses to hang his collection of gold chains.
05:40
In an ironic twist, a few weeks after the procedure, Dan Surr was at a party with some friends and on a $20 bet, shaved his head.
05:48
In news from Big Brother, this past Labor Day, the New York City Police Department stated that it would be using drones to monitor backyard parties in response to complaints about large gatherings over holiday weekends.
05:59
The plan to utilize drones was met with immediate backlash from civil liberty advocates questioning whether such drone use violated existing privacy laws.
06:08
Residents of Florida were asked their thoughts about police using drones to monitor backyard parties, to which they replied, if they want to give us more stuff to shoot at, we're fine with it.
06:17
Finally, the G3 National Conference is getting ready to kick off this weekend on the subject of the sovereignty of God.
06:23
No surprise there.
06:24
With speakers including John MacArthur, James White, Paul Washer and Skip Thornton.
06:29
And yet another year has gone by where I was not invited to speak.
06:33
Someone who knows Josh Bice needs to get on that right away.
06:37
Unfortunately, I am unable to attend G3 this year, but I will be attending the Fight, Laugh, Feast conference in Kentucky next month where I plan to sign autographs as the Harbor Freight Doug Wilson.
06:47
So if you plan to be there, come say hello.
06:50
Thank you for watching Church Soup.
06:52
If you liked this episode, please hit the thumbs up button and don't forget to subscribe for more content.
06:57
If you didn't like the episode, go ahead and hit the thumbs down button twice.
07:00
If you want to submit news articles for future shows, you can do so in the comments or on Twitter with the hashtag Church Soup.
07:08
Also, if you're looking for a great podcast, check out Conversations with a Calvinist, which is available on all the best podcasting platforms.
07:14
And if you're looking for exegetically rich sermons and Bible lessons, check out Sovereign Grace Family Church on the Sermon Audio app.
07:23
Finally, the most important news you could ever receive is the good news of the Lord Jesus Christ.
07:28
But to understand that good news, we must all understand the bad news.
07:32
We have all broken God's law and stand as sinners before a holy God.
07:37
But God in His infinite mercy sent His Son Jesus to live a perfect life and die a substitutionary death for all who will believe.
07:44
If you repent of your sins and trust in the finished work of Christ, you will find Him to be a perfect Savior.
07:49
And I urge you to do that today.