Marital Bliss

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Compromise Radio Ministry, my name is Mike Abendroth, and we're back in the studio today. And we're talking about a subject that's very, very important.

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And so before we get to that subject, don't forget we have the YouTube channel. If you're listening only on iTunes right now, you can go to the

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YouTube channel. You can link us that way. We're trying to get into the 21st century now with video, not just audio.

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And Wednesday's the new show, Monday's the sermon, and Friday is a rerun. And so we'll have that for a while, see how it goes.

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We have the Amazon site. If you go, you can get a variety of books, including hopefully my new book in the next few months.

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It's entitled, King, How the Sovereignty of God Changes Everything. Talking about the

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Lord Jesus. And if you understand him as king, how it'll affect your desire for his return, what about prayer and other things.

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So that's that for the housekeeping. Mario, last night I went to line dancing down in Worcester.

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And so maybe you and your wife should go with Kim and I sometime and do some line dancing. I got some cowboy boots.

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And when you have to stomp your foot for the special things, I can do it. And is dancing sinful?

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That's the whole show today, is dancing sinful? Oh no. Have you ever danced in church?

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No, that's not the topic today. The topic today is sexual fidelity. Someone needs to write a book on sexual fidelity.

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I think that would be good. I remember when I first thought about writing the book called

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Sexual Fidelity, 31 Day Guide to Purity. It was not even in a book form with an idea.

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It was, I have children. I now have four grown children. Two of them are married. Two of them have families of their own, children of their own.

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And I thought it's important for us to talk to our children about this topic of sex.

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It's important for us to address these things and get out of front of it, or as Mario would say, to lean into it before the world educates them, before porn educates them, before sleazy friends educate them.

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And so God created sex as good. He designed our bodies. He created all the pleasures that go along with sex.

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And it is to be enjoyed in marriage. And so I wanted to talk about this with my son in particular, although I had to talk with my wife and daughters, but I particularly talked to Luke a lot about it because he's the boy and the girls tend to talk to mom more.

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And one of the things I wanted them to understand is the Bible has a dad teaching a son.

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And I want you to understand that as well. It's kind of embarrassing to talk about this subject. Your children can ask you a variety of wild questions regarding this, but it's a, sorry to use the word, safe place, good place, holy place, where a dad and mom and children, moms and daughters, dads and sons can just sit down and talk about this.

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The subject's not going to go away. The subject dominates society. People actually worship sex and they worship all this stuff.

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And so what does the Bible say about it? Proverbs 5, it says, my son, and then

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Solomon goes on to say, here's the warning, don't do these sexual things. And then the

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Christian sexual ethic is not just don't. And for so long, that's what

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I thought the Bible taught about sex, don't. Fornicators, adulterers, homosexuality, and all these things, don't.

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But Solomon goes on to say, there's a time to enjoy sexual morality.

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I think I remember that outline from seminary, my Hebrew professor, Milton Vincent, and he's become very well -known with his gospel primer.

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But he said, here's, and it just unfolds. I'm sure he didn't come up with it either, avoid sexual immorality and enjoy sexual morality.

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So today on No Compromise Radio, probably part one, just gonna kind of walk through the Proverbs. And I just want to share with you and to try to convince you if you're a dad or a mom and you've got little five -year -olds and eight -year -olds and 10 -year -olds to have the conversation when you think it's appropriate with them.

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And I'm gonna demonstrate how I'm talking about it, even though it might be a little uncomfortable and how

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Solomon talks about it. And if you think the time to talk is 12 or 14 or 16, just as a friendly reminder, we're not under law or anything like that.

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We're not legalist. The sooner you talk to your children, not necessarily the better, but I want you to know 60 years ago, you could have probably talked to them when they were 12 or 13, whatever the number might be.

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Now it's probably nine or 10 because they've got these things called phones. And if they don't have phones, their friends do.

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And all the stuff on TV, I mean, the ads. I mean, erectile dysfunction ads on TV.

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You can be watching a basketball game and I can imagine when you've got five -year -old daughters sitting there and they're like, what in the world is going on here?

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So all that to say, the world seeps with sexual sin. I wanna make sure I get out in front of it and talk to them in a holy way, in a godly way, talking about the creator who made these things and why it's good to avoid sexual immorality and enjoy sexual morality.

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So that's the story for today on No Compromise Radio. Proverbs chapter five shows us both of those.

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And when I see the first two words, my son, before I even get into this discussion about sex, remember the relationship here between Solomon and his son.

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It's family, it's familial, it is father and son.

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And of course, if the son obeys the father, he'll give his father glory. It'll go well with his son.

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If he disobeys his father, it'll dishonor his father and it'll go poorly with the son.

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But the relationship will never change. Father and son will never change based on the son's disobedience or the son's obedience.

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So when you read the Proverbs, one of the best things you could do is think third use of the law, third use of the law.

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Proverbs two, my son, Proverbs three, my son, Proverbs four, my son, Proverbs five, my son,

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Proverbs six, my son, Proverbs seven, my son. And maybe one or two of those might say my sons. The relationship between dad and son.

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And so when we think about third use of the law, remember first use of the law, the law shows us our sin and need of a savior.

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Ever look at a woman with lust, it's like committing adultery in your heart. And so for the unbeliever, they're forced to reckon with,

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I've committed a sin against God by lusting for a woman that's not my wife.

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And I'm gonna need a savior because there's hell to pay for sin. Sin is atrocious, sin is an abomination.

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And one sin, James chapter two, verse 10, says you deserve all the judgment of God. And so when we think about the law, we think about law as a mirror for the unbeliever, but the law still exists for the

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Christian now, does it not? Don't look at a woman with lust, but it's a different relationship because now we have

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God as father because of the work of Jesus, the son and the work of the Holy Spirit. And so here in Proverbs, Solomon and his son, that relationship's always gonna be there.

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And I'm gonna repeat it to be clear. If Solomon's son disobeys, that son will suffer the consequences of chastisement and he'll be dishonoring his dad, but the relationship won't change.

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If Solomon obeys, Solomon's son obeys and does the right thing, it'll go well with him and his father will be pleased.

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That's the same relationship now spiritually that we have. Think about it. If you're a child of God, adopted, join heirs with Christ, sealed to the day of redemption, justified, sanctified, you will be glorified, redeemed, sins have been propitiated, you're reconciled to God, the list could go on and on, all your blessings.

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Do you think if you disobey or sexually sin, you're going to lose all those privileges?

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No, no, you'll be disciplined, you'll be dishonoring the father, but the relationship stays the same.

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So when I read Proverbs, often I just think third use of the law. This guides me, this directs me, this tells me how to honor the heavenly father and this tells me how it'll go well with my soul.

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And so when you come to these things, that's how you think about God's law. God's law is good and holy and right and it is from the hands of Christ.

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Jesus loves you and has redeemed you and now he knows what's good for you. He knows, all right, here, woman, man, boy, girl, sexual sin is damaging, it's hurtful, it's awful.

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And so avoid it, I want you to run from it. I mean, I just was driving to church today to the church building and I saw dad walking his son down the street, little tyke, little guy, and he pointed at the car.

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So when you see a car, I couldn't hear what he was saying, but I could tell by the actions, when you see a car, let's get over to the side of the road, there's no sidewalks in my neighborhood, let's just get over there for our own good, for our own safety, for your good, for your safety.

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And that's exactly what it comes to sexual sin. God knows what sex is meant to be, binding a couple together, confirming love, enjoying one another in the covenant of holy matrimony and outside of marriage, it just does the exact opposite.

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So today on No Compromise Radio, Proverbs chapter five, directions and wisdom from a father who loves his son.

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I've said this before, my dad didn't tell me anything. So one of the reasons why I do these kinds of things now is because I had a bad example of a dad and he did many good things and provided it for us, but he didn't tell me anything about this.

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He didn't talk to me, probably because it's uncomfortable. You kind of get a little red blotch on your neck or something because you're embarrassed to talk about sex.

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But in the privacy of your own home and you could use whatever words you want and there's the Bible and you're sitting there.

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It's again, it's safe, it's good, it's right. This is what's supposed to be done. This is in the

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Bible, a dad talking to his son about sex. And so I don't know if you're a man today.

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Well, I don't know if you're a man, but if you're a man today, I don't know if you're waiting for your wife to say, honey, we should probably have the talk.

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Often, Kim and I would be talking about the children and their growth and everything.

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And we'd say, we think so -and -so is about ready for the talk. I might ask her, hey, do you think so -and -so is ready for the talk?

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Oh yeah. Luke came up to us once and like, you know, I kind of look like you dad and I kind of look like mom.

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It's like, how's the DNA exchanged? Like spit when you kiss or what?

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Well, you know, what's happening? He's starting to figure it out. So then, okay, let's figure out a time when the other kids are in bed and we'll sit and talk with Luke.

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And by the way, it was wonderful, sweet, embarrassing, but it was just really a wonderful time.

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And I don't wanna be like my dad, right? If you got a bad dad, now you're all the more desirous to be a good dad.

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If you had a great dad, then you wanna imitate that great dad. And so my dad, before I went out on dates at 16, got my car at 16, had a 1967

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Chevy Nova II. Man, that was a neat car. I wish I had it right now. And I would go out on a date and he'd say, keep your nose clean.

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Okay. Does that mean don't get her pregnant? Does that mean wear a condom?

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Does that mean don't snort any cocaine? Don't get caught? Don't let her dad catch you?

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I have no idea. Keep your nose clean. So this is a lot different.

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Avoid sexual sin, enjoy sexual morality. And here's a dad talking to sons.

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Now I'm not gonna use certain words today. There are certain things I just privately would talk to my family.

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But all these words in Proverbs 5 are okay to say out loud. When there's a word breast used and love used, sexual love used, it's fine to say, could

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I preach this from the pulpit? The answer is yes. Is there anything in the Bible that you can't say out loud?

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Some of the Bible is pretty graphic, but of course it's not pornographic. It's not evil.

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It's not wicked. It's not sleazy. It tells us the truth. And so that's why I love

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Proverbs 5. My son, give attention to my wisdom and incline your ear to my understanding that you may observe discretion and your lips may reserve knowledge.

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For the lips of the adulterous drip honey and smoother than oil is her speech. And so now

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Solomon and now God, the Holy Spirit, is teaching us. And you're going to see the refrain of Proverbs 5, 6, and 7 that it's not necessarily how this woman looks.

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It's what she says. So be careful what she says because Solomon wants his words to be listened to, dad's words to be listened to, the

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Holy Spirit's words to be listened to, not the adulterous, not the sexual sinner.

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And this is a dad talking to sons. And of course this could be applicable for moms talking to daughters about boys that want to use and other things.

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But here the context directly is Solomon and his son. It says, but in the end, she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two -edged sword.

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Solomon is trying to tell his son, there's an end. There's a tomorrow morning.

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There's an after. And did you know one of the things about a fool in the

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Proverbs, especially in the Bible, that's true, but especially focused in Proverbs is that fools don't think about consequences.

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Fools don't think about later. Fools don't think about if I do this, then that happens.

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Dominoes, the first domino goes and pum, pum, pum, pum, pum, pum, pum. There's all kinds of dominoes called the domino effect.

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Her feet go down to death. Her steps take hold of Sheol. She does not ponder the path of life.

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Her ways are unstable. She does not know it. She's not thinking about later. She's foolish.

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But here's a dad saying, now, son, when it comes to sex, it could be very dangerous.

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Outside the covenant of marriage, very dangerous. And there are people that don't believe in a

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Christian worldview, Judaic Christian worldview. I mean, I think Proverbs is a Christian book.

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So reading backward into that, better be careful. I'm warning you, sex, as wonderful it is, it's dangerous.

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Especially sexual sin. Now, then my sons, listen to me and do not depart from the words of my mouth.

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Sons, listen, keep your way far from her and do not go near the door of her house or you will give your vigor to others and your years to the cruel one.

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Now, this is not, I want you to be a hero, son. See how close you can get to sexual sin without doing it.

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And matter of fact, sometimes I'll meet with couples in premarital counseling or other times. What can we do with each other sexually without like going all the way?

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And is that still okay? How close can we get to the edge? When I was a kid, my dad took us to Pike's Peak.

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Is that the highest peak in America? Maybe, I think it's the highest peak in Colorado. And you have to drive up Pike's Peak or maybe you go up to Mount Washington.

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You don't say to yourself, driving your family with all the kids in the backseat, I'm gonna see how close

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I can get to the edge without going off. I mean, you're tucking yourself in as far as you can to safety towards the center of that mountain, not on the edge.

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Here, I want you to run from sexual sin. I don't want you to get close. I don't want you to flirt with it. I don't want you to play with it because it is devastating.

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He says, you know what? And your strangers will be filled with your strength and your hard -earned goods will go to the house of an alien.

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You might palimony, almost said matrimony. Alimony, palimony.

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And you groan at the end when your flesh and your body are consumed. What does that sound like?

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That sounds like venereal disease. Dad said when he would get out of a port city on the way to Korea during the

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Korean War, he'd get back on the ship and he said, the longest line was not at the snack bar, but it was at the medic.

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And he said, they were all in line because they had the drip. This is radio and TV.

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I won't tell you much more, but you get the idea. You say, how I've hated instruction. My heart spurned reproof.

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I've not listened to the voice of my teachers nor inclined my ear to my instructors. I was almost an utter ruin in the midst of the assembly and congregation.

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I should have listened to my dad. I should have listened to my Bible teachers. I should have listened to the scriptures and I didn't.

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It's ruin, it's calamity, but then it changes.

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The sexual Christian ethic is not no. It's yes in marriage, no outside of marriage.

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And by the way, this all applies to pornography as well. I don't often say this, but I'll say it here.

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A lot of the problems that men have, it's because of laziness. God says to Adam before the fall work and then of course he sins, now work is difficult.

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Laziness, if we're not careful, we're lazy. And when it comes to sexual sin, even people who are in the covenant of marriage can in a lazy way, look outside of their marriage for sex via the computer because you don't have to love your wife.

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You don't have to sacrifice for your wife. You don't have to nourish your wife. You don't have to be tender for your wife.

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If you just go to the computer and just turn it on. And so we have an epidemic of pornography and we have to be very, very careful.

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And so as you're trying to work through, man, if you do sin with pornography, I want you to begin to think about not just the sexual sin, but the laziness behind it that propels that.

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You have testosterone for a reason. If you're an unbeliever, sorry, if you're a believer who's not married, testosterone is trying to motivate you to go win a wife.

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And if you're a man and you're married and you have testosterone, what you do, it's to motivate you to be kind to your wife and to be sweet to your wife and to be a good example to your children, et cetera, et cetera.

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So here he turns and now we come to the yes part. If this is Ephesians four, put off, put on.

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You're united with Christ, dear Christian, and you're able to do these things. First Corinthians six makes it very, very clear that the

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Christian motivation for saying no to sexual sin and yes to sexual pleasure in marriage with your wife, it has to do with who you are in Christ.

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I can give you law after law after law. First Corinthians six, flee immorality. First Corinthians six verse 20, glorify

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God with your body. First Corinthians six verse nine, don't be deceived. All when it comes to sexual sin. So how do you get over sexual sin?

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Take cold showers, have an X blocks, an X stop over your computer, safari.

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You can do all those things. But if you don't think about who you are and you've been redeemed with a price and you've been washed and you've been sanctified and you're gonna be glorified one day and you're justified and you're united with Christ and your body's the temple and you're able to say no to sexual sin.

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If you forget about Jesus, you forget about everything. And now he gives the positive. So what we've been waiting for, and he uses language that is appropriate, but language that basically means enjoy your wife, enjoy your spouse, and she enjoys you.

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Son, when it comes to sex, drink water from your own cistern. You get thirsty after running five miles and you wanna have some

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Gatorade, you wanna have some Propel, you wanna have some smart water and you just drink it and you're quenched.

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I'm not thirsty anymore. Sex is just like that in the sense that you have a desire for sex in marriage.

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And all of a sudden you need to have your thirst quenched, see now I'm getting embarrassed even talking about that.

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And you drink water from your own cistern, singular by the way, cistern.

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And by the way, cisterns weren't public. You had your own cistern. It was private. Exodus, you guard your cistern, singular wife.

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That's not wives. This is not Mormonism. This is not your wife and that AI person, your wife and those people who are doing the pornography.

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By the way, a side note on pornography. Do you think those girls do those things because they want to?

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If you saw somebody on the side of the road who'd gotten into accident and they were laying there, a woman, 19 year old woman laying there, wouldn't you get out and try to help and to rescue, call 911, mouth to mouth helping because you think that person's in distress,

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I want to help them. Or would you see some lady on the side of the road, 19 years old and quick rummage through the car, find her computer, find her iPhone and steal everything you could?

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You already know the answer. So why would I somehow want to use a girl on the screen when she's doing it for drugs?

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She's doing it because she can't get out. She needs help. She's on the side of the road.

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Is she responsible? Of course, but she's on the side of the road and she needs help. Why would I continue to click to say, you know what?

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I'm just gonna use her and steal her iPhone and her computer. It doesn't make any sense. We are to protect women.

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Dads are protecting the virginity of their daughters and we want to protect other ladies.

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We don't want to use them. When it comes to our wives, we're not using them when we're enjoying them in God's ordained way.

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Fresh water from your own well. Should your springs be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets, let them be yours alone and not for strangers with you.

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Your wife, enjoy her. Then he says, let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth.

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He's talking about sex. He's talking about enjoying your wife. Then he says, as a loving hind in a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times.

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It's all about her. She's the one that gives you pleasure. No one else. Holy, covenant, marriage, marital bliss.

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You're one emotionally. You're one physically. You're one spiritually. And God has put you together.

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And that's how he's designed it. All the pleasures are yours. When Luke said to me one day, dad, he's probably 15.

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I don't think I have the gift of singleness. I said, okay, thanks for telling me. We laughed.

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I said, son, I have all kinds of goals for you. And this is not at the top, but it's a goal. I want you to have a lot of sex because it's wonderful in marriage with your wife.

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There's nothing wrong with that desire. I have a desire to want to have sex and to be with a wife one day.

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Every son should want that unless he doesn't have the gift of singleness. Let her breasts satisfy you at all times.

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Be exhilarated always with her love. And as I said at the men's breakfast a while ago, some husbands

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I know, well, she's not attractive anymore. 30 years into marriage, she's given you four wonderful children.

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And somehow you think she should act like and look like she did when she was 18 years old. And if you stand in the mirror yourself,

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I think you could take a look at your, I think you probably need to go on carnivore for more than 10 days.

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What do you mean? I mean, if you say, I don't love my wife anymore, then you need to repent because it's a command. Husbands love your wives.

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Like, well, I'm just not attracted to her anymore. Well, I want to say, dude, you got problems.

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No wonder you got problems to think like that. And by the way, and I'm not trying to say

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I'm so great at everything, I don't mean that. But literally I think to myself, now my wife is 61 and she's prettier now than she ever has been.

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Does she look the same as when I met her when she was 24? The answer's no.

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But pretty close. But what I see now that I didn't see when she was 24 is all the wonderful, faithful, godly, how she trained the kids, how

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I could be, I go leave for work or a business trip and she'd be there with the kids, taking care of the kids, doing all those things, sacrificing her life for the kids.

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And I think, you know what? Godly on the inside, pretty on the outside. She's more beautiful than she has ever been in my mind.

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That's the way we should think about our wife. Right, Mario? Be exhilarated with her love.

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Just rock and reel and have fun and just enjoy yourself and just be drunk with her love.

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You could translate it. Just be love drunk with her. Talking about sexually. And so is

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God a prude? Is Solomon a prude? Of course not. The Christian sexual ethic is don't outside of marriage.

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Enjoy to the max. I counsel couples for premarital and I tell them, you get married on a

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Saturday, do not fly out of town to your honeymoon Sunday morning at 4 a .m.

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You should be in church instead. Once in a while they are in church, but let's just say they get married on Friday.

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Don't leave at 4 a .m. the next day. Enjoy yourself. It's holy, it's righteous. It's just, get back after the reception of your wedding and hold your wife by the hand and walk over to the bed and kneel down and praise

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God from whom all blessings flow. Praise you for our salvation, for our wedding.

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And now Father, bless our time with one another as we are exhilarated always with each other's love.

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That's the way it's supposed to be. That's the way we should be talking to our children. Once again, today on No Compromise Radio, I'm trying to talk about this because it's important and I know it's hard to talk about with your children.

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I know it's uncomfortable. So, unless you grow up on a farm, by the way,

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I wish I would have grown up on a farm and my children would have grown up on a farm because two things would have been very obvious besides hard work and besides we better pray for rain, death, death would be an inevitable thing like births and deaths, right?

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Like that cow dies, the chicken dies, the raccoon dies and also mating.

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Then children would pretty quickly understand horses, cattles, et cetera.

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But cattle, it's hard to talk about this subject. I did write a book,

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Sexual Fidelity, A 31 Day Guide to Purity. Is it written for ladies as well? Yes, but mainly as a dad talking to a son about this topic.

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The show essentially is not trying to sell the book. If it sells, fine, I'll cash the check. But I'm trying to sell today is for you to think biblically about this topic and for you to think to have any success in saying no to sexual sin and yes to righteousness, it has to do with your union with Christ.

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It has to do with you being washed and justified and sanctified and redeemed and bought with a price.

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And then God uses his law to guide us. And that guiding is run from pornography, run from other ladies, don't look at other ladies with lust and instead put all that time, all that energy, all that focus into your wife.

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And if you're not married, then it's probably time to stop playing Call of Duty, level 42 and put some deodorant on and some cologne and start trying to win a woman.

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That's what that means. You're like, it's hard to do. Yes, it's hard to do, but it's worth it. So my name is