Teaching Your Children - Seven Sins to Avoid — Phil Beach Jr.

Ok, before we begin, I want to emphasize something the Spirit of God was saying to us earlier, and that is waiting upon the Lord. While we were in the presence of the Lord, not only did the Lord speak that into my spirit, but I had a vision.

And I believe the vision represents something that is greatly lacking in our lives as the church. And I would encourage you to consider this and to pray that God would speak to you and how He might want to lead you.

A Vision of Families Waiting on God

But in this vision, I saw families, many families at home. They weren't in church or in a building, they were at home. And it was the evening hour. It was an evening hour. I don't know what time it was, but I knew it was an evening hour.

And I saw the father, and I saw the mother, and I saw children. They were sitting in a room and they were doing nothing, Norman, but waiting on God. They were waiting on God. And some of them had smiles on their face and some of them were weeping.

And I said, Lord, what does this mean? And he said, I long, I long for my people to come back to waiting on me. Brothers and sisters, we have got to make some tough decisions in this hour that we live in.

And one of the tough decisions that we have to make is this, are we going to allow the world that we live in and the expectations of the world to mold us and to push us into a lifestyle that causes us to forsake waiting on the Lord?

Or are we going to make a decision before God? A decision before our brothers and sisters and say, by the grace of God, we're going to learn as a family to wait upon God. Most of the time in the evening, families are being entertained in some fashion or form.

Albeit the television, the radio, books, computers, and all manner of different things. And I'm not throwing stones this morning. And it's not in the heart of God to chide us this morning. This is love.

This is love this morning. This is love. Brothers and sisters, does your heart pant to spend time with the ones that you love? We must learn to wait upon the Lord because waiting upon the Lord is directly linked to discovering the strength that comes from waiting upon the Lord.

Recovering the Practice of Waiting on the Lord

I'm telling you, I'm speaking by the Spirit of God. The generation that is coming up into adulthood now, the young generation, the young children have lost the vision of what it is to wait upon the Lord because their parents have lost it.

They don't know what it is to wait. They don't know what it is to be quiet before God. We're living in a society when everything has to have external motivation. If a child has to sit for five minutes, they start yelling out, I'm bored.

Well, too bad. Learn to wait. Learn to wait. And so I just want to emphasize this from the Lord, that when God was speaking to us, it is not essentially a word to us when we gather together, although we must learn to come with a quiet spirit and hear the Lord.

But it is a concern that we would prioritize waiting on the Lord. Brothers and sisters, the early church knew what it was to wait on God. Listen, this life of Christianity doesn't happen through osmosis.

It just doesn't happen. You have to learn to stand against things or else they're going to overcome your life. You have to learn to say no to distraction. Do you think that just because God's putting something in your heart that everything's just going to work out and God shows you you need to wait on Him and you think that at that time God's sovereignly going to just stop everything in your world and you're just going to be able to slip your slippers on and go into your place of waiting and there's going to be no distraction and no difficulty and no problems at all?

Hello? What do they say? Wake up and smell the coffee? That's not the way it is. You know that and I know that. Isn't that true? Every word that God speaks to you, every quickening word that God gives to you, there's going to be a hell war against it.

Yes, there is. If God puts it in your heart to be quiet with Him, you're going to find all hell's going to bring every distraction in the world up in your life to resist it. Remember, brothers and sisters, we are in a spiritual warfare.

We have an enemy. We have an adversary. His goal is to distract us and turn us from hearing the Word of God and then from obeying the Word of God. Now again, this is not a chiding rebuke. This is a loving invitation.

Make a decision that you are not going to let your life be lived without ever learning how to be still before God and how to know the joy of waiting on God. You will have to come to hear the Lord show you this in His Word.

And then you will have to come to make a decision. And then you will have to stand on that decision. And if you take a passive attitude, oh well, if it happens, it happens. You'll never enter into what God has for you if you take a passive attitude.

God has not called us to be active. The words in the Bible and the New Testament are words, vigilance, diligence, resist, submit to God, lay hold of eternal life. Pursue. Pursue after. Paul told Timothy, pursue after righteousness.

Pursue after holiness. Pursue after it. That word means to run after it. To lay hold of it. Run the race. You know the key to a runner in a race? He's got to resist every temptation, Alan, that he has to want to stop because he's tired.

You think runners just run for two, three hours and they have no thoughts in their mind of wanting to give up? And Norman would agree here because he has done some running too, and I don't know if anyone else has.

We have any runners? I know that you did your running in the Marines. You might not do it now, but you had to do it then. A strange phenomenon happens when you're running, especially if it's a long distance.

And I experienced this. You begin to get the most bizarre thoughts in your mind, and all of the thoughts in your mind reflect a temptation to stop. I would get thoughts when I used to run long distances, you're crazy.

Stop. Can't you feel the pain in your body? Your legs sometimes, if you run long distances, begin to feel like pillars. It's like your legs turn into stone and you're running and you're saying, what is happening?

If you run a long distance and it's hot, you can get feelings of wanting to faint and lightheadedness, and all of these things can contribute to your mind fainting and saying, oh, forget it, I'm not going to do it.

And then you stop running the race. You talk to any marathon runner or anyone who is skilled in a particular area and has excelled in it, and they'll tell you that they have to ignore their emotions. They have to ignore those thoughts.

And they have to keep their eye on the goal. Well, brothers and sisters, I fear that we're drinking of a Christianity that's making us pansies. It's making us weak. We've lost what it is to war in the Spirit, to fight the good fight of faith.

We've lost what it is to hear the Lord speak to us in His Word, and then to, through the grace of God, fight for it and lay hold of it and not let it slip. The book of Hebrews says, Take heed, lest that which you have heard slips from you.

And let me tell you, if you just float with the world, if you just go back and forth, if you live your life like any other person in the world, you will be robbed of all that the Lord has in light of your inheritance.

You've got to lay hold of the things of God, brothers and sisters. And so this waiting on God is essential. And it's a decision we have to make. And it's a lifestyle that we must prioritize. Prioritize.

Your life will be changed when you learn to wait on God. And when your children begin to watch you, they'll begin to be affected by it. Now, listen carefully. Waiting on God. Now, parents, listen carefully, alright?

Listen carefully. I want to share, I've shared these many, many years ago, but recently the Lord put them in my spirit, and I feel the need to share it now because there's a lot of families in our midst.

The Ungodly Generation and Parental Responsibility

Families, parents particularly, but if you're not a parent, listen carefully. We are living in a wicked and evil and adulterous generation. The book of Proverbs indicates in Proverbs chapter 30. Proverbs chapter 30.

Listen to this. Proverbs 30 beginning in verse 11. There is a generation that curses their father and doth not bless their mother. There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes and yet is not washed from their filthiness.

There is a generation, oh, how lofty are their eyes and their eyelids are lifted up. There is a generation whose teeth are as swords and their jaw teeth as knives to devour the poor from off the earth and the needy from among men.

We are living in an ungodly generation, and I don't care how Christian your home is. Children, I don't care how Christian your home is. Parents, I don't care how Christian you are and how Christian your home is.

The fact that your children and you and I live in this generation is always a temptation as a result of that to begin to take upon ourselves the ways of the world. And we must resist that. We've got to resist that because that's one way to grieve the Holy Spirit.

But I want to share with you seven, and I'll try to do this quickly because I know the teachers are waiting, seven sins that you want to be sure your children do not fall into. And when they do, you correct them.

Let me say this to begin with. If you as a parent are guilty of these sins, you could tell your children all you want, no, no, no, don't you do that, and they'll not do what you tell them. They'll do what you do.

And we as parents have come to see that. And oftentimes it's brought tears to our eyes because we see in our children the very things that we have not let the Lord conquer in our life. But nevertheless, I assure you from the heart of the Lord that this is something that Jesus is saying to us now.

And it's not just for parents, but all of us. Listen carefully. We must be actively involved in instructing our children and teaching them the things that God hates as well as the things that God loves.

Parents, hear the Word of the Lord. It is your responsibility to teach your children what God loves and what God hates. Every child needs to know what God hates. And then they need to be taught that they ought not to give place in their life to anything that God hates.

Sin One: Pride and Self-Centeredness

The first thing that we must confront our children over is the spirit of pride. The spirit of pride. The Bible says that God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. The spirit of pride permeates society today.

It is a condition of being enamored with one's own self. There is a healthy respect for one's self because I don't believe the Scriptures support tearing yourself down always with false humility. There is a healthy respect for one's self because we've been created by God, we've been redeemed by Christ, and we are the righteousness of Christ in Christ Jesus.

But that's not grounds to get arrogant. That's not grounds to get so self-centered. Listen, we have to teach our little ones that life doesn't revolve around them. And as a parent, if you cater too much to that tendency within kids for the life to revolve around them, you're doing a great injustice to them.

And when they get older and realize that that's not the way life is, you're going to have to shed some tears. You know why? Because part of their delusion that God is now smashing in their life is the result of you failing to sit them down because you were afraid that you might hurt them.

You were afraid that they might misunderstand you. Let me tell you something, brothers and sisters. Never be afraid of truth. If you ever think telling your children the truth is going to somehow affect their love from you, then you need to get an understanding of truth.

God always tells us the truth. What's the relationship that we have with God our Father? He's the Spirit of truth. Now this takes wisdom. Let me tell you, these qualities here that we're talking about, it's not something that you can do in a classroom setting.

You have to be with your children and walk with them through life. I heard Dr. Dobson recently say that he was sharing at a seminar and he had a moment with his kids when they were younger. And what it was is they were in the car together and apparently one of the kids saw a movie that said X on it.

And I think it was his daughter said, Daddy, rated X is bad, isn't it? Yes. Rated X is not good. I'm just paraphrasing now. Yes. And he was amazed, amazed at how his daughter was bringing back to him what rated X represented.

And what he commented on was he had never sat down at any particular time and instructed his little girl on what rated X was. But through modeling and demonstrating and living his convictions before his children, they caught on.

In other words, he was there in their life interpreting life for them. As a parent, it's okay to teach Bible stories. That's good. It's okay to have devotions. That's good. But brothers and sisters, that can't take the place of being there.

The greatest responsibility of a father in particular, but mothers can help, is to interpret life for your children from God's perspective. Interpret life for your children from God's perspective. Speak the Word of God into their life.

Son, your pride has been wounded. Tell them the truth. If you don't tell them when they grow up, they're going to have to come to realize it, aren't they? Being enamored with oneself. Know-it-all attitude.

How many of us have wrestled with this with our children? Whenever you sense that your children are demonstrating an attitude where they think they know it all, don't laugh at them. Sit down and talk to them and say, listen, you don't know half as much as you think you do.

Now, I love you, and you're my special girl or my special boy, but you don't know half as much as you think you do. Did you know that? You say, well, that might wound their self-esteem. Brothers and sisters, if a child's self-esteem is all wrapped up in their pride, then it needs to be wounded.

We don't get self-esteem through being inflated about things. We get self-esteem by realizing we're unworthy, but God loves us and sent His Son for us. That's where my self-esteem comes from. It's because God thinks about me.

Sin Two: A Critical Spirit

That's where my self-esteem comes from. Okay? Number two, a critical spirit. Number two, critical. The Bible says in Ephesians 4, verse 29, let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth. The word corrupt there means that which tends to putrefy.

That which tends to produce a rotten effect. A critical spirit is saying words about their friends or about anyone that could putrefy or tear down and not build up. There is a terrible critical spirit that's in the world today.

We mustn't let a critical spirit come into our family. The critical spirit is most evidenced when children talk about other children, especially when they start getting a little bit older and they start getting their feelings hurt.

They get critical toward people. They get critical toward what people do and what people say to them. And we mustn't let them be critical. See, we have to interpret life for them. We have to say, now listen, sweetheart, or listen, son.

Sin Three: A Judgmental Spirit

You're being critical now. And that's not good. Don't just let them be critical. And parents, don't you be critical. Number three, a judgmental spirit. Judgmental. Now, the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 4, verse 5, judge nothing before the time.

I want to explain to you what a judgmental spirit is. It differs from a critical spirit. A critical spirit has the effect of rottenness. It decays. It's something that you say about someone that can decay their character.

It can defile their character. A judgmental spirit, 1 Corinthians 4, verse 5. Listen to this, beloved. Therefore, judge nothing before the time until the Lord come who will bring to light the hidden things of darkness and will make manifest the counsel of the hearts and then shall every man have praise.

A judgmental spirit seeks to claim that it knows the intents and motives of another person's heart. Don't you let your children talk among themselves or into your ears when they think they know the motives and purposes of another person's heart.

God alone knows the motives and intents of a person's heart. And it is a terrible thing, brothers and sisters, when we get used to being judges of other men's and women's motives. The judging of another person's motive to God.

How many has ever been guilty of that sin? We think we know the heart of another person. We get offended. We get hurt. And then we start sowing out our poison. Right, Norman? They did this because of this.

And they did that because of that. And I don't believe their motive was pure. And I think this and that. And I think this and that. You know what that is? That's the devil talking right through your tongue.

That's what it is. It's the devil talking. Don't you judge another man's heart? You get on your knees and pray for that person. And if you feel like God has given you discernment about the motive of a heart, you keep it to yourself.

And you pray for them. Presuming to know the motives of people's heart, why they do certain things, make judgments and comments about people that only God can make. Parents, beware. Don't let your children do this.

Sin Four: Rebellion Against Authority

Correct them. Next, this is a big one. This is a big one. This is going to step on some of our toes. A rebellious spirit. Ephesians 6 .1 Children, obey your parents. Hebrews 13 .17 Obey them that have the rule over you and submit to them.

1 Peter 5 .5 Younger, submit yourself to the older. There is a rebellious spirit in the world today and it's crept into the church. And basically, it's this kind of spirit. You're not going to tell me what to do.

Get out of my face. No. Make me do it. Parents, I encourage you by the love of God, first of all, that you would pray that God would deliver you from a rebellious spirit. You know how lots of times children learn rebellion?

By watching their parents act toward each other. That's how they learn it. Parents, you have an argumentative spirit. You have a disrespectful spirit. You dishonor your mate. Do you dishonor your mate when you get mad and say things that demonstrate a dishonor?

Don't you think your children are going to do anything other than that? They're going to do that very thing. You have to teach your children through real life experiences. Now, this is something now, and I want to say something because I'm in this camp.

So I can say this. One of the dangers of homeschooling is that children think the only authority that they're accountable to is their mom and dad. And any other authority that rises up in their life, they don't want to deal with it.

Because they've been used to listening to mom and dad. But kids who go to public schools, they have to listen to mom. They have to listen to dad. They have to listen to the teacher. They have to listen to the principal.

They've got to deal with upperclassmen. They've got to learn to respect older kids. And so we must, as parents, make sure that we do not allow our children to be rebellious. Resisting authority. Finding ways to undermine authority.

You teach your children that they need to obey their aunts. They need to obey their uncles. They need to show respect to people in church. When somebody tells them to do something that's for their good, you need to tell your children, you listen to them.

You listen to what uncle so-and-so says, or aunt so-and-so says, or brother so-and-so says. If they tell you to stop talking and sit down, you're being distractive, then you say, yes sir. No sir.

I'm sorry. Teach them to respect authority. Let me tell you something. If your kids don't respect authority, you know what they're going to do when they're adults and God starts bringing authority in their life?

They're going to revolt. They're going to revolt. The greatest thing you can do is teach your children how to respect authority. How to have a humble spirit. So you make sure that you pray about this rebellious spirit.

Sin Five: Unrepentance and Concealed Sin

Number five. A spirit of unrepentance. James 5 .16. Confess your faults one to another. Unrepentance. Proverbs 28 .13. Who knows that scripture? He that covereth his sins shall not prosper, but whoso confesseth and forsaketh his sin shall find mercy.

Listen parents. You need to start at a very young age. Don't allow your children to remain in a state where they're unwilling to confess their faults and their sins when they're confronted. Teach them to confess their sin.

Teach them to say, Mom, I just sinned by arguing against you. Get away from the ambiguous. Yeah, I sinned. The great revivalist Charles Finney said, The best way to keep a revival from hitting God's people is for the preacher to get up and generalize sin.

Always make things general. You teach your children to confess their sin right to the letter. I sinned because I argued and I showed disrespect and then I got angry. Confess your sin. Tell it like it is.

You don't have to be afraid. God is merciful. But if you are unrepentant and you conceal your sin, you are setting yourself up for a bumpy ride. A bumpy ride, okay? Listen, I don't want to hold the teachers.

If you feel compelled that you need to go, please do. It's alright. I'm taking a little longer than I thought. It's perfectly fine. I'm just going to finish. I've got two more. The spirit of worldliness.

Sin Six: Worldliness and the Esteem of Men

1 John 2, 15 -17. Listen, always wanting what the world holds dear. Luke 16, 15. Oh, that's a bad spelling. Listen, listen. Luke 16, 15. This is so important. Luke 16, 15. Ye are they which justify yourselves before men, but God knoweth your hearts.

Listen, for that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God. Parents, are you teaching and modeling to your children this truth? That which is highly esteemed among men is an abomination to God?

Are your children learning that the things which the world holds dear, the vain aspirations and the vain desires, those things in God's eyes are abominable? And let me tell you what that word actually means.

It means absolutely loathing. To the point where we turn away because it's abhorrent to us. The world says it's important to get honor from men. Are you teaching your children that it's important to get honor from God?

The world says it's important to be successful at any cost. Are you teaching your children that the true secret to success is knowing what God is saying and doing it, even if that means no success in the eyes of the world?

That which the world esteems is abominable in God's eyes. Parents, we've got to teach our children not to hold dear the things the world holds dear to. We're strangers, we're pilgrims, remember? Don't teach your children the most important thing in this life is to get a good job and to get a nice home and to have lots of money in the bank.

Don't teach them that's the most important. Now, I didn't say that God frowns against those things, but when that's what a man lives for and that's what a woman lives for, brothers and sisters, they've missed it.

They've missed it. And lastly, the spirit of murder. John said in his epistle, if I hate my brother, I'm a murderer. Do not allow your children to receive into their spirit hatred toward any human being.

Sin Seven: Hatred and the Spirit of Murder

And I'll tell you, you'll know if your children hate someone or are struggling with hatred very quickly by what they say about that person. If they have nothing but rotten, critical, judgmental things to say about a person, if they're always, always reading into the situation and always coming up with critical things, you can pretty much guarantee the devil has sown a seed of bitterness in their heart.

And if they don't get healed, that's going to turn into hatred. The Bible says that Cain murdered Abel. You know why? Very simple. Because he didn't love him. We have to pray God will teach us to teach our children how to get love in their heart from God for all people.

And so these are the seven dreadful sins that we have to pray God will give us the victory over. And I'm trusting that you'll get this down on paper and as parents you'll talk to each other about these things and pray, Lord, give us wisdom.

You ask God and He'll give you wisdom. Now, if the teachers need to go and the kids need to go, that's perfectly fine. Thank you for being patient. We'll be right back.