TLP 454: Identifying a False Parent | False Parents, Part 2

No one's going to argue that a newly filled balloon that will not rise into the air is filled with helium. We can tell by the effects of gravity on the balloon what's inside the balloon now. I want you to do a similar experiment with your life.

Welcome to truth love parents where we use God's Word to become intentional premeditated. Parents, here's your host. Am Brewster.

Identifying False Parenting by Its Effects and Definition

Welcome back to the second episode in our false parents series. If you didn't catch our first episode Please do not listen to this one. The first part of this series defines what a false parent is. And if you come into this show expecting that you and I have the same definition.

You'll likely be very confused and or annoyed on our last episode I worked hard to define exactly what a false parent is according to God's Definitions from his Word and those of us who are returning to the show now should be ready to learn how to correctly identify Parenting in us and other people.

But before we do that, will you please take a minute to rate and review this podcast? We have a really good rating. But there are some people who disagree with Christianity in general who took their opportunity to drag our rating down.

If you can give us a five-star rating I'd invite you to do so sooner rather than later. And if you can't please reach out to us at team TLP at truth. Love parent comm and let us know why we'd really appreciate.

Lastly don't forget that you can download our free episode notes and read our free transcripts at truth Love parent comm and there will be a link in the description and with that Let's learn how to identify false parenting lest we ourselves fall into the trap.

Scripture as the Standard for Identifying False Parenting

From the outset though I do want to us all to know that this episode may be longer than usual and that's okay because it's filled with a ton Of scripture and you can't have too much scripture. I thought though in light of our last episode if I'm claiming to speak for God I need to be able to support my claims from his Word.

So if you choose to listen to this in two parts, that's not a problem. I'm going to talk about nine main ways to identify a false parent. So perhaps you may want to pause the episode after number four or number five.

Okay for starters as we approach this topic Our biggest need is to recognize that Jesus wants us to deal with the log in our own eyes before trying to deal with the splinter. In someone else's therefore, I'm going to suggest that we approach this study from a personal introspective direction before trying to gain ammunition.

Against our spouses or friends. Yes, this material will definitely help us identify other false parents. But we always need to start with our own hearts. If it will help you our second TLP episode ever was called Why is it always about me and it goes into much more detail about the reality that God wants to use everything in our lives.

To sanctify us personally, you can find that link for that episode in the description. So with that said we could have entitled this episode something like are you a false parent or how to know? If you are a false parent, but I'm not sure how many people would have listened had I done that.

Okay, now we need to ask what's the difference between defining and Identifying. As an example, it's one thing to be told about the different kinds of honeybees. But given a selection of different breeds most people aren't going to be able to tell an Italian honeybee from a carniolan.

You see they have the definition, but they can't make the identification. I on the other hand can identify them pretty easily because I keep bees and I've looked at hundreds of thousands of both species.

I also prefer carniolans over the Italian variety so I can spot those very easily and That's what we want to be able to do today. We want to go past the definition and discover what false parenting actually looks like in real life.

And to do so we need to allow the scripture to paint that picture for us. So we're gonna start with a quick review and then jump into the new material. However, I do want to tell you that a lot of these different points overlap and they overlap because they're like concentric circles.

They they or a Venn diagram, maybe they cross over each other in certain places. But they're unique enough that we have to talk about them themselves. So obviously all of the things that are gonna follow are gonna fall under point number one false parents claim to speak for God but they don't.

In Jeremiah 14 14 we read then the Lord said to me the prophets are prophesying falsehood in my name. I have neither sent them nor command them nor spoken to them. They are prophesying to you a false vision divination futility and the deception of their own minds.

This is precisely the problem with false parenting. God has called all parents to bring our kids up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. But false parenting substitutes God's message for another and generally from our own minds.

And remember false parenting doesn't have to be intentional. We can easily do it accidentally. Therefore we can't simply assume that because we think we're not deliberately leading our kids astray that we're not Unintentionally leading them astray and that's why the rest of today's points are so important.

We need to compare our parenting to what God says about false parents. And that's why we have to start by dealing with number two false parents have wrong motivations. Now we've talked about this motivation thing so much.

But if you still haven't gone back to listen to the merest Christianity series. You really really need to that series helps us understand that our motivation is the most important thing about us. Why we do what we do is actually more important than what we do.

Yes. What we do is very important and even if we have quote-unquote the right motivations and we do the wrong thing that doesn't make it. Okay, but trust me why we do what we do is actually more important.

I'll include a link to that series in the description of today's episode when you're ready to check that out. The point is we need to ask ourselves why we parent the way we do. This can be a broad observation about our parenting trajectory in general or it can be our specific motivation in a unique parenting context.

So what might a bad motivation be? Well in Isaiah 56 10 through 11, we read his watchmen are blind all of them know nothing all of them are mute dogs unable to bark dreamers lying down who love to slumber and The dogs are greedy.

They are not satisfied and they are shepherds who have no understanding. They have all turned to their own way each one to his unjust gain to the last one come. They say let us get wine and let us drink heavily of strong drink and tomorrow will be like today only more so.

Well here we see that false teachers a are turning in to their own way be pursuing personal gain and see seeking after their own pleasures. Every time we speak for self instead of God, we're seeking our own way and leaning on our own every understanding.

Now most of us are probably not parenting for personal financial gain. There are people out there who do that, but I believe we seek our own pleasures far too often in our parenting. For example, my kids are fighting and it's really annoying to me and I want them to stop so I shout down the hall.

Hey you to cut it out. Well, that was false parenting that statement clearly communicated to them. We better stop because we're upsetting dad. But it shouldn't be about me. Our children aren't commanded to obey their parents for their parents sake.

They're to obey their parents for God's sake. They're to obey their parents in the Lord. My quote-unquote parenting in that moment had nothing to do with their responsibility to love and obey God their motivation for their obedience.

Nothing like that. And that's exactly the problem in Jeremiah 23 9 through 40 as for the prophets. My heart is broken within me all my bones tremble. I have become like a drunken man even like a man overcome with wine because of the Lord and because of his holy words.

Just as an explanation Jeremiah is explaining how the wickedness of the prophets is affecting him. It's like he can't even stand up straight. And then he explains the root of the situation starting in verse 10.

For the land is full of adulterers for both prophet and priests are polluted. Even in my house I have found their wickedness declares the Lord. The biblical picture of adultery is often used to describe idolatry.

God's people are cheating on him when they make their way more important than he is when they choose to worship something over him. When I parent for me, I'm cheating on God. I'm being a false parent and I'm being wicked because I'm.

I'm choosing to follow my way instead of God's way. I'm putting my desires above his. But you may ask what if I'm using the Bible to parent and what if I change my tone? That's guaranteed to change my motivation, right?

Yes, I could stick my head out of my room and say hey kids you're being selfish and not trying to serve others. Please be quiet so I can get my work done. How could my motivation still be wrong? Well consider Mark 7 6.

And he said to them rightly. Did Isaiah prophesy of you hypocrites as it is written. This people honors me with their lips. But their heart is far away from me. But in vain do they worship me teaching his doctrines the precepts of men.

Our lips can frame the words. Our voices may adopt an acceptable tone and we can outline the passages. But that doesn't mean our hearts are truly in tune with God's. Let's look at the passage in Isaiah that Jesus was quoting.

Isaiah 29 13 reads then the Lord said because this people draw near with their words and honor me with their lip service. But they remove their hearts far from me and their reverence for me consists of tradition learned by rote.

Their reverence for me consists of tradition learned by rote. Our parenting absolutely has to be more than something we learned by rote. It needs to be more than superficial applications of the parenting content.

We learned it needs to be more than a facade. We have to have a God focused motivation at our core. If we parent for our own desires and wishes and wants and pleasures God actually commands his people to avoid us.

Romans 16 17 through 18 says now I urge you brethren keep an eye on those who cause dissensions and hindrances. Contrary to the teaching which you learned and turn away from them for such men are slaves not of our Lord Christ.

But of their own appetites and by their smooth and flattering speech, they deceive the hearts of the unsuspecting. Let's be honest. We far too often parent according to our own Appetites we want our kids to be or do or say or feel something.

So we do whatever it takes to get them to do what we want them to do, but that's not how we've learned Christ. You need to seriously investigate your parental motivations. The next time you teach or reprove your kids.

Ask yourself why you're doing what you're doing and why you're doing it the way you're doing it. Perhaps you will discover that you're being a false parent and again, let's be honest parenting like this isn't merely a simple mistake.

Whether we mean to or not. Parents who carelessly claim that God wants their kids to do certain things that are not clearly taught in Scripture should be identified as a false parent. Number three false parents are presumptuous.

Mary Webster defines presumptuous as overstepping due bounds or taking liberties. Basically a false parent puts words in God's mouth and that's never a good idea. Now again, this sounds kind of like a repeat and it is but we're talking about identifying it in our own selves.

If we're presumptuous, if we do not approach God's Word with due diligence and care making certain that we don't overstep our bounds. Or that making certain that we're not taking liberties if we have this attitude of oh, it'll be fine.

Or it's not that big of a deal. That's presumptuous and that presumptuousness needs to warn us that we are potentially being a false parent. Deuteronomy 4 to God says you shall not add to the word which I am commanding you nor take away from it that you may keep The commandments of the Lord your God which I command you.

So have you ever told your kids that cleanliness is next to godliness? Have you ever told them that God just wants them to be happy? Have you taught your kids that God is pleased by external obedience?

Well considered Deuteronomy 18 20 through 22, but the prophet who speaks a word presumptuously in my name. Which I have not commanded him to speak or which he speaks in the name of other gods that prophet shall die.

You may say in your heart. How will we know the word which the Lord has not spoken? When a prophet speaks in the name of the Lord if the thing does not come about or come true. That is the thing which the Lord has not spoken.

The prophet has spoken it presumptuously. You shall not be afraid of him. If God hasn't said it. We better not put those words in his mouth. He there's nowhere in the scriptures as to say that cleanliness is next to godliness.

That or that God just wants us to be happy or that he's pleased by external obedience. And I'm afraid that we presumptuously put words into God's mouth way more often than we think. So if you look at your parenting and can't find actual Bible to back it up.

You've likely been presumptuous if you look at your parenting and you find an attitude of oh, it'll be okay. You're probably being presumptuous. But the real issue that we've seen so far after what we've seen already is that number four false parents Contradict the scriptures and isn't this what I said last time?

How will we know that a prophet is false? We'll know by comparing what he says to what God says if he contradicts the word He's a false prophet and the same goes for false parenting. 2nd Peter 2 1 talks about those who secretly introduced destructive heresies even denying the master who bought them referring to Christ.

And 2nd Timothy 4 4 describes false teachers who Turn away their ears from the truth and will turn aside to myths. Of those who contradict scripture in 1st Timothy 6 3 through 4 Paul says if anyone advocates a different doctrine and does not agree with Sound words those of our Lord Jesus Christ and with the doctrine conforming to godliness.

He is conceited and understands nothing, but he has a morbid interest in controversial questions and disputes about words. In fact, Paul left Timothy in Ephesus specifically to instruct certain men not to teach strange doctrines nor to pay attention to myths and endless genealogies.

Colossians 2 8 warns us see to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception. According to the tradition of men according to the elementary principles of the world rather than according to Christ.

In Galatians 1 6 through 9 Paul exclaims. I'm amazed that you are so quickly deserting him who called you by the grace of Christ for a different gospel. And then he says but even if we or an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel Contrary to what we have preached to you.

He is to be accursed as we have said before so I say again now if any man is preaching to you a gospel contrary to what we received he is to be accursed. And in 2nd Corinthians 11 4 Paul uses some sanctified sarcasm when he warns for if one comes and preaches another Jesus whom we have not Preached or you receive a different spirit, which you have not received or a different gospel, which you have not accepted.

You bear this beautifully. If what we're saying to our kids doesn't conform to the teachings of God. We are false parents if we're not leading our kids to faithfully follow Christ. We are false parents.

But what if you don't talk about God at all? Well, let's use the previous example. What if your kids are being unkind to each other and you step in by gently admonishing them to be nice because and here comes the Motivation no one will want to play with them if they can't learn to be nice because that's how they would want to be treated.

Well, see what you're saying is accurate it may be considered a good idea by some to treat someone a certain way because that's how you'd want to be treated or to treat them a certain way because They'll want to play with you if you're nice, but here's the problem.

You're using pragmatism to motivate your kids. Pragmatism is the failure philosophy that claims that the ends justify the means. It argues that if how I parent gets my kids to do something quote-unquote good.

Then what I did was good. Of course. You can easily see the breakdown really quickly if my kids do what I say because I lock them in a box when they don't. Well now all of a sudden we're not okay with pragmatism.

But the real problem with this goes back to our motivation in the same way that parenting for my own pleasure is a sin against God. My children are still sinning if they're nice to each other for their own pleasure.

We deal with this idea Extensively in our children and security episode of the biggest parenting challenges. You will ever face series if my kids are nice simply to avoid Consequences or because they want their sibling to treat them well or because they hope that people will want to play with them.

Their own pleasure and satisfaction and comfort are their motivation not God. Now if you're confused about this principle I strongly encourage you to listen to the mirrors Christianity series or the teach your children to obey series.

Both of those will step you through the biblical passages that unpack this concept about why our motivation is so critically important. Either way, no, you can't say that parenting your children to do good things for godless reasons isn't contradicting scriptures.

It is in fact Contradicting all of the passages that teach us that God should be the sole motivation and focus and reason for all that we do. Now, let's look at the flip side of this coin if our parenting isn't being informed by the Bible.

It's being informed by something or someone else. That's why it's important to observe that number five false parents get their authority from sources other than God. Now it's very unlikely that you get your parenting advice from an astrological guidebook or by practicing spiritism.

But some people do just that by the way. However, Isaiah 8 to 19 through 22 reads when they say to you consult the mediums and the spiritists who whisper and mutter. Should not a people consult their God should they consult the dead on behalf of the living to the law and to the testimony?

However, the real issue here is not that the Jews were consulting which is the issue was that they weren't consulting God. It doesn't really matter who the source of counsel is if it's not God. For us in our modern-day context.

It's probably more likely that you have gleaned some of your parenting wisdom quote-unquote from doctors Spock or Phil. Or maybe you like to read secular parenting books and immerse yourself in pop psychology practices.

This is why in Colossians 2 a Paul warns us see to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception. According to the tradition of men according to the elementary principles of the world rather than according to Christ.

It doesn't matter if the teaching feels right or seems like it may work or experientially. I found that it quote-unquote works. It doesn't matter if it makes some kind of pragmatic sense. Does it conform to God's Word?

I really don't care if the idea of a Discipline less parenting sounds like a great idea. It contradicts God's Word and grows from elementary traditions of men. It doesn't matter that worldly professionals have convinced the whole world that there's nothing more important for our kids than self-esteem.

The idea is not biblical. Now sometimes we fall into false parenting because we didn't realize that the popular parent guides of the day were contradicting God. But sometimes we actually pursue pop parenting precisely because we don't want to parent the way God commands.

I know there are some of you out there listening to my voice. You really like some of what God has to say. But when God's Word contradicts the worldly parenting advice that you like better you deliberately dismiss God's Word.

But you don't really feel like you're doing a disservice to God because you make the claim that well things are different now. But as we already saw in 2nd Timothy 4 3 through 4 God describes his practice in this way.

For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but wanting to have their ears tickled. They will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own Desires and will turn away their ears from the truth and will turn aside to myths.

But even though we may be tempted to get our parenting methods from the horoscope or from secular quote-unquote experts I think the most dangerous category is when we take our parenting advice from people who are themselves false teachers.

Galatians 1 gives us a picture of people who contradict God's Word because they ignorantly followed someone who claimed to speak for God. But didn't. This is why Paul is so vehement that quote if we or an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel.

Contrary to what we have preached you you see what he says there. Even if we come and say a different gospel He is to be accursed as we have said it before so I say again now, it's so important He's gonna repeat it.

If any man is preaching to you a gospel contrary to what you received. He is to be accursed. End quote. Those of us who are serious about being biblically informed in our parenting May turn on a podcast or purchase a book or watch a YouTube video from someone claiming to be a Christian.

But if we're not being discerning and careful we may accidentally Accept their false teaching as truth. A false teacher may try to convince us that Psalm 13 13 through 14 teaches that God wants our kids to have good self-esteem.

Psalm 13 13 through 14 is a very familiar passage. It reads for you formed my inward parts you wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made wonderful all your works and my soul knows it very well.

And.

Yes, there are professing Christians who believe that the world's definition of self-esteem is found in that passage. They take a passage that should drive our focus to God's beauty power majesty and love but instead it's twisted to make us feel good.

Because we are wonderfully made. This is exactly why Luke speaks so highly of the people who lived in Berea in Acts 17 11. He said now these were more noble-minded than those in Thessalonica for they received the word with great eagerness.

Examining the scriptures daily to see whether these things were so the people in Thessalonica weren't doing this as much. They were just taking what they were being told but the people in Berea They received the words that they were hearing they were eager about it but they still examined the scriptures to see whether these things were so.

And First John 4 1 tells us do not believe every spirit but test the spirits to see whether they are from God. Because many false prophets have gone out into the world. Listen my friends. You have my full permission to pick apart.

Absolutely everything that I say today before in the future. Seriously compare it to God's Word. Make sure I'm not misrepresenting what God says. Keep me accountable by making certain that I'm not claiming to speak for God and yet speaking my own wisdom instead.

And if you discover that I am mishandling scripture, please let me know. But I believe you'll find that what I'm teaching is not inconsistent with the scriptures. And that's why I'm quoting so much of it today so that you can see it all right there.

But there are a lot and I mean a lot of false teachers out there who claim to speak for God. But they patently are not and if we follow their advice, we too will become false teachers and false parents.

False Parenting and Human Authority

Okay. So like I said earlier, we're about halfway through if you need to stop for any reason. This may be the time to do it. But if you're gonna stick with us moving on when we do this when we jettison God's truth for the failure philosophies of others.

We're relying on our own understanding and that's why number six false parents make it about their authority. Jeremiah 5 30 through 31 an appalling and horrible thing has happened to the land the prophets prophesy falsely and the Priests rule on their own authority and my people love it.

So but what will you do at the end of it? I Mentioned the biggest parenting challenges you'll ever face series during the first half of this episode and I want to take a minute to clarify. One of the concepts we learned in that series if we take any of our parenting whatsoever.

We can reverse-engineer it pretty easily to discover the root of it all if my parenting contradicts scripture. It's because consciously or subconsciously. I don't want to submit to God's authority. And if I don't want to submit to his authority because I believe I can parent my kids on my own I believe in my own parenting autonomy.

And if I believe that I don't need anyone else to parent my kids well, because I have my own plan and I believe that my plan has been successful to one degree or another I'm Satisfied that I'm doing a good job.

By the way, let me take a quick rabbit trail here. This is why people don't look for parenting help until things go wrong. As long as they're getting the outcome they desire most parents aren't interested in parenting advice.

However, they look for help when they finally recognize that they've failed. Of course, they needed help a long time ago, but they're only just now figuring it out. Anyway, as long as most parents are satisfied that their parenting is working they will continue using everything in their toolbox to parent the way they want and The very deepest root reason we do this has everything to do with our identity.

Do we see ourselves as people who have this parenting thing down and don't need anyone else's input because we're sufficient in and of ourselves to provide our own satisfaction or do we identify as sinners desperately in need of a Savior and Spiritual weaklings desperately in need of empowerment.

Are we autonomous lords of our own domain or do we spear are we spiritually destitute followers of Christ? How we identify will determine if we're true parents or false parents biblical parents or false parents.

The Jeremiah 5 passage we just read pulls back all of the facade and shows us that false. Parenting always grows from the fact that we have decided that what we want and how we want it is as is all that matters in our parenting.

Even our last point about deriving our parenting wisdom from secular authorities is still us flexing our own authority. Despite what God has to said about following people who contradict the scripture.

We have decided that we should follow those people even if we're leaning on their authority. It was our own authority that motivated us to do so. Okay now. As we attempt to identify false parenting in our lives I recognize that these first points may have seemed a little more theoretical and less practical.

I try to make them practical but I get it if they seemed more theoretical trust me. They again, they weren't really theoretical, but I understand how motivations can be difficult to identify. However, regardless of how you felt about the first few points. These last ones will be more evidently practical.

Exposing Sin and Recognizing False Parenting in the Whole Life

Number seven false parents don't expose sin and its roots. This one should be pretty easy to spot in yours or someone else's parenting. Lamentations 2 14 says your prophets have seen for you false and foolish visions and they have not Exposed your iniquity so as to restore you from captivity, but they have seen for you false and misleading oracles.

God's Word is abundantly clear about sin. It does a great job of defining it and identifying it and providing instructions to help us turn from it. But we get into a lot of trouble when we say that something isn't a sin that God clearly calls a sin.

Or when we call something a sin that God doesn't. I alluded to this earlier in our discussion of self-esteem. The world would very much like to contradict everything the Bible says about sin. They want us to believe that the only sin is believing in sin in the first place.

But that is clearly false teaching because it contradicts God's Word. So let me ask you in your parenting. Do you biblically deal with your kids sin and the roots of that sin? In my previous example of my kids being unkind to each other.

It's easy to make my parenting about me if I can just get them to be quiet. All will be right in the world. Of course, I can also admonish them to be kind to each other because that's what God wants. And you know what?

That's not really a bad start. But if all I do is point them to the desired behavior without ever addressing what's really wrong with the negative behavior I'm doing them a huge disservice. Now, I know that there are so-called experts out there who would have us believe that we should always talk about the positive behavior.

We want to see and not talk about the negative behavior. We don't want to see but again, that's not biblical. In fact, as I mentioned earlier, it's actually damaging. Allow me to explain. Let's say that I'm training you to be a soldier and there's this really pivotal step and firing the grenade launcher.

But you don't want to do that step because you're convinced yourself that it's unnecessary and stupid. Well, if all I ever do is encourage you to remember the step without addressing the consequences of your wrong attitude.

You're likely going to blow yourself up. I know it's an extreme example. It's silly and hyperbolic, but the point is that our kids are in a spiritual war. Satan wants to eat them alive and it's not good enough to encourage them to do right when they don't even understand Why what they're doing is wrong.

This is why Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount starts with sin. We will never hunger and thirst after righteousness until we have a relationship with Christ. But we won't be able to do that until we approach him meekly.

But we're not going to do that until we've recognized that we're spiritually destitute and grieved to our core about that reality. No alcoholic is going to seek help until they realize they have a problem and no human is going to seek a Savior until they Realize they're a sinner.

False parents rarely talk about sin and the roots of that sin and the consequences of that sin. So if your parenting avoids those discussions, you are a false parent. But false parents aren't merely recognizable by their parenting believe it or not number eight false parents are recognizable by their whole life.

I Frequently said that there is no sin that doesn't affect our entire being. You will never be an absolute angel in every other facet of your life completely glorifying God. But struggle with this one sin in this one area of your life.

If you have a preacher who seems to do a great job But he never responds well when corrected by others you can be certain that sin has threaded itself through absolutely everything else he is and does a Child who gets great grades and does his chores and is nice to his siblings and is a hard worker and respectful and everything else.

But who has a habit of looking at pornography you can be sure the root of that sin has infected everything else in his life. This is why the Bible is so robust about the lifestyles of false teachers. Now as we read these passages, please don't dismiss them because everything in the passage doesn't completely apply to you all equally.

Okay, these lists are not an all or nothing. In fact, if even one of the things on these lists is true of you. It may be an evidence of the fact that you have some false parenting problems and I'll illustrate this in a minute.

Matthew 7 15 through 23 says beware of the false prophets who come to you in sheep's clothing. But inwardly are ravenous wolves you will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles.

Are they so every good tree bears good fruit. But the bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot produce bad fruit. Nor can a bad tree produce good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.

So then you will know them by their fruits. And then comes the verses we've discussed. So often not everyone who says to me Lord Lord will enter the kingdom of heaven. But he who does the will of my father who is in heaven will enter.

Many will say to me on that day Lord Lord. Did we not prophesy in your name and in your name cast out demons and in your name perform many miracles? And then I will declare to them. I never knew you depart for me you who practice lawlessness.

Okay, so what are these bad fruits what is this lawlessness? Matthew 24 11 through 12 reveals one important one. Many false prophets will arise and will mislead many because lawlessness is increased. Most people's love will grow cold.

It's a correlation there. Lawlessness is increasing love growing cold. A Loving parents are false prophets. If you're having a hard time identifying your motivation and you use words that come from the scripture.