TLP 516: Biblical Parenting Essentials, Part 2 | evaluating your parenting

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The pushback you receive is not a reason to change your parenting content. When your kids push back against truth, that's an invitation to keep the truth flowing.

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Parenting isn't about us. In fact, parenting isn't even about our kids. Parenting is just one way

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Christian dads and moms are to worship God. So welcome to the Truth Love Parent Podcast, where we train dads and moms to give

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God the preeminence in their parenting. Hi, I'm your host, A .M. Brewster, and this series is an important summation of Truth Love Parent's past 500 episodes.

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It's a necessary refresher for those who've heard the episodes, but by the way, it's not just a review, there's also a ton of new information.

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But it's also a valuable first -time introduction for our new listeners who might not be able to go back and listen to all 500 of the past episodes.

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So we're distilling all the truth down to 12 vital shows. Last time we talked about the first and most important part of being a biblical parent, your relationship with God, and the subsequent content of your parenting.

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Today we're going to look at the second most important part of being a biblical parent, and we're going to see how this part actually helps us get an idea of how well we're doing on the first part.

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But before we dive in today, I invite you to follow me on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, and YouTube.

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Just search A .M. Brewster and be sure to like, follow, subscribe, and otherwise interact with me there.

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And don't forget that we are a listener -funded ministry. We create the free biblical parenting content, and you have the opportunity to support us by becoming a one -time or monthly donor, which we so affectionately like to call our

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TLP friends. Simply visit truthloveparent .com forward slash donate to learn more.

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You can also click on the link in the description of today's episode. We're very much hoping to increase our support in 2023 so that I can continue full -time to counsel families, speak, and create biblical parenting content, but we need your help, so be sure to click on that link and start giving.

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Each gift is tax -deductible, and we have many secure ways you can give. And while you're at truthloveparent .com,

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be sure to peruse today's show page for your free episode notes, transcripts, and biblical parenting resources to continue your study.

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And with that, let's dive in. Last time we talked about the fact that God wants you to be His ambassador in your home.

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That means that, if you're going to represent Him well, the content of your parenting has to be filled with God, His Word, and the

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Gospel. As you speak God's truth and love into every facet of your parenting, it will have a profound effect on your kids.

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In fact, that effect will be undeniable. Now am I saying that quoting the scriptures and keeping a continual

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God focus in your home is guaranteed to make your kids turn out right? No. But I am saying the impact will be undeniable.

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So let's clarify by looking at our first point for the day. As you mature in your relationship with God and call your children to Him, 1.

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Some children will respond to the content of your parenting by choosing to submit to and follow Christ.

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If I'm teaching my kids to love cooking, and when dinner time rolls around they run to the kitchen exclaiming, it's time to make dinner, and then they start talking in excited tones about recipes and prepping and cooking, that's a pretty good sign that I've been successful in trying to instill in my kids a love for cooking.

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If God is the main content of our parenting, then it shouldn't surprise anyone when our kids start talking about God more, desiring to learn more about Him, and wanting to know what

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He has to say about their lives. If the Bible is the main content of our parenting, then it shouldn't surprise anyone when our kids start reading it more, memorizing it, and turning to it for their guidance.

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If the Gospel is the main content of our parenting, then it shouldn't surprise anyone when our kids start reveling in the

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Gospel, making decisions in light of it, and sharing it with others. Now obviously this requires a supernatural act of God.

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Remember, we can't control our kids' hearts. We simply make it easy to do right and hard to do wrong by creating the right atmosphere in our homes, the main facets of which is the content that comes out of our mouths.

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How our kids respond to the atmosphere, embracing it or rejecting it, is up to them and God. But the biblical reality is that God uses

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His ambassadors to be salt and light and draw people to Him. That means that if you are speaking truth and love and your children are submitting to God, being born again, and growing in their sanctification, it is a result of God using the truth and love you are speaking to soften their hearts and draw them to Him.

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So, in this context, the second most important part of your parenting is discipling your children who are submitting to Christ and becoming

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His disciples. And the subsequent discipling of your kids is likely an evidence of the fact that you have been parenting well.

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Lord willing, this is an evidence of the fact that God was using you in the process whether or not you were the one to lead your child to Christ in the moment or not.

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But there is another possibility. Parenting isn't a formula. In fact, we have two very important episodes to this point.

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One of them is called, There is No Formula for Parenting and the other is, How to Train Your Child to Stay with God. In those episodes, we talk about the lie of deterministic parenting styles and the importance of our children's participation.

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So, what if our kids don't participate in our God -centered parenting? 2. Some children will respond to the content of your parenting by choosing to continue rebelling against Christ.

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Now, how could this be evidence that you are parenting well? When was the last time your child kicked and screamed and cried and refused to eat a rock?

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Yeah, probably never. Why? Because you never required them to eat a rock.

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People don't generally waste their time making a fuss about things that have no impact on them whatsoever. When was the last time you refused to submit to Captain James T.

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Kirk of the Starship Enterprise? Children who don't believe in God or don't know to believe in God don't go through their day aggressively fighting the concept of God.

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Instead, they go to school and practice and home just like other kids. Sure, they push back against teachers and coaches and parents, but they're not pushing back against God because He doesn't factor into their day.

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Now, take that atheistic child and put them into a home or school where God is the main focus of the home and suddenly that child will start pushing back pretty hard against the ideas and truth statements they had previously never even considered.

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Either that or they'll submit to the truth. If you're parenting for Christ by bringing Him, His Word, and His Gospel into nearly every parenting opportunity, then the kids who don't want to hear about it, submit to it, or otherwise even think about God are going to eventually push back because they won't be able to escape the constant preoccupation with Him that they're receiving from you.

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When I work with a young person who complains about how his parents make him go to church and require him to obey in the home or read his

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Bible or pray at dinner, that's an evidence of the fact that the parents are at least focusing on some important things.

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And the more the child hates those things, the harder the child will push back against them. Unfortunately, since most of my ministry has been working with rebellious children, what

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I've found is that many parents who wanted to glorify God in their parenting by making Him the main focus, got so tired of their children pushing back that they eventually stopped talking about God, His Word, and the

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Gospel. They surrendered before the child surrendered. And you know what happened? Their kids did stop pushing back against the

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God content because it wasn't there anymore. Why would someone say, stop talking about God, if no one is talking about God?

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So in a similar way that your active discipling of your child is an evidence of the fact that your parenting content is

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God -centered, your active teaching, reproving, and evangelizing of your child is also evidence of the fact that your parenting content is

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God -centered. Remember, your children's rebellion is not inherently proof that your ambassadorial parenting is failing.

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You can't change anyone, and it's the pushback that proves that there was some spiritual push in the first place.

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Consider the qualifications for an elder in 1 Timothy 3, 4 -5. He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity.

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But if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God? The question here is not about the submission of the home, but the management of the home.

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Have they been doing their part? And remember that even though God is the perfect creator -parent,

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His creation and His chosen people rebelled against Him all the time. In fact, more people have rejected Him than have ever submitted to Him.

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So just remember this. The pushback you receive is not a reason to change your parenting content. You mustn't throw up your hands and cry, it's not working.

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If you believe in parental determinism and you think you can mold your child like a toddler molds

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Plato, then you'd be right to think your parenting isn't working because the kids aren't becoming what you want them to be. But your parenting isn't about you or your kids, it's about God.

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Your parenting is working when you're speaking God's truth in God's love. It's glorifying the

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Lord and resulting in your maturity, and that's the whole point. That means that when your kids push back against truth, that's an invitation to keep the truth flowing.

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You're doing the right thing, you're pleasing the Lord, and it's hitting a sore spot with your disobedient child, which is obviously a spiritual need.

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And Lord willing, your faithful salt and light will be used by God in the future to soften your child. But how your kids respond to your parenting isn't the only or the best way to evaluate your parenting.

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They're helpful, but they're not the best. Number three, some children submit to God or rebel against God despite their parents.

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Here's what I mean by this. I've known kids who have come to know the Lord, submit to Him, and mature beautifully despite the fact that their parents were unbelievers.

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I've also known kids who were highly antagonistic toward authority even though their parents weren't strong leaders. There are so many influences in the life of your child and you don't ultimately have any control over them, so who your children are and how they act is not necessarily a good indicator of your parenting.

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It can be when coupled with our final point of the day, but it shouldn't be considered the sole or best indicator.

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Too many parents imagine that just because their kids are compliant, well -mannered, and good students, the parents' parenting must be all it needs to be.

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Generally speaking, however, that's not the case at all. None of the things I just mentioned are indicators of spiritual life and growth.

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None of those things require Holy Spirit empowerment. That's why the second most important part of our biblical parenting and the best way to evaluate your parenting is, number four, biblical parenting matures over time.

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People like to stagnate. They really do. They don't like learning. They don't really appreciate the necessity of change and growth.

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They so often just want to be the personality equivalent of a couch potato. But truly biblical parenting is changing parenting.

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It's not the same this year as it was the year before. Of course, change for change's sake isn't good change.

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We need to be maturing, growing, and changing into the image of God for His glory. If you only sometimes worked

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God, His Word, and the gospel into your parenting, but you're doing it twice as much now, that's a great evidence of the fact that you are maturing in your parenting.

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So, are you evangelizing and discipling your children better this year than you did last year?

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What about this month versus last month? What about this week? How about today versus yesterday?

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What about after you are done listening to this podcast? If you truly are an ambassador of Christ, then you are a born -again believer who the

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Holy Spirit is progressively conforming into the image of Jesus from one degree of glory to another. That means that you and your parenting should be growing and changing and maturing.

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You and I need to be speaking more consistently and accurately about God, the Bible, and the gospel. We need to be teaching and reproving and correcting and training better than we did before.

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And that's what the rest of this series is going to address. The following ten episodes are going to pick apart the four phases of biblical parenting in order to help you do each of them better.

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Each episode will not only address desperately important parts of each phase, but will also give you some amazing resources you can use to hone in on the area of your parenting that needs the most attention.

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And of course, the TLP counselors would love to help you get even more specific in your growth. You can reach out to us at Counselor at TruthLoveParent .com

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to learn more. And speaking of resources, let me give you a few more right now. When you visit

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TruthLoveParent .com to learn more about how you can donate to this ministry, you can also visit today's episode page.

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There you will find links to our Discipleship Parenting series, which is chock full of so many important biblical lessons.

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One of those episodes is the Disciple -Making Parents show, and I've already mentioned the incredibly valuable Fifth Way to Parent series and our introduction to how to be an ambassador parent.

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Any and all of those resources can be a significant help as you fill your parenting with God, the Scriptures, and the

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Gospel, and get better at it this year. I pray this series is part of the process God uses to make you a more biblical parent, and as it is,

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I hope you will share this series with your friends, pastors, and communities. And remember that you can always reach us at Counselor at TruthLoveParent .com

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or call 828 -423 -0894. I hope you join us next time as we once again open

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God's Word to discover how to best worship God with our parenting. To that end, we'll be discussing the necessary methods that are part of the first phase of biblical parenting.

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Truth Love Parent is part of the Evermind Ministries family and is dedicated to helping you worship God through your parenting.

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So join us next time as we study God's Word to learn how to parent our children for life and godliness. And remember that TLP is a listener -supported ministry.