Dallas Area Conference 1993-08 — William MacDonald

We were talking about what an awesome Lord we have, the marvelous restraint in which the whole story of the Savior is told in the Gospels. No superlatives, no great adjectives actually, just told very, very quietly and in un-poetic form.

You might say prosaically, and yet if we remember at every juncture in the Gospel who it is speaking about, the glories of this person, it's really enough to sweep us away in amazement, isn't it? Wonderful, wonderful Jesus, who can compare with you?

So you'd think that if that Lord ever spoke to us, ever invited us, ever called us, He'd respond right away, wouldn't He? This is the most logical thing in the world. Hear the voice of the Lord, just be in a hurry to obey.

The Squirming Sacrifice and Human Reluctance

You know, it isn't that way, is it? If I could give a title to my little talk this afternoon, it would be this, The Squirming Sacrifice, because that's what we are, we're squirming sacrifices. And I'd like to read a few verses of Scripture to you, it shows you what the human heart is like.

Moses and Jeremiah Hesitate at God's Call

God calls a man named Moses, I want you to go, I want you to be my mouthpiece, I want you to go before Pharaoh, I want you to let my people go. Exodus chapter 3, verse 11, and incidentally, when the Lord gave him that instruction, that included all of the needed strength and grace, didn't it?

He didn't need anything, all he needed to do was obey. Exodus 3, 11, Moses said to God, who am I that I should go to Pharaoh, that I should bring the children of Israel out of Egypt? It seems that with every call of God, there's a measure of human reluctance, insane as it is.

Exodus 4, verse 10, then Moses said to the Lord, O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither before nor since you have spoken to your servants, but I am slow of speech and slow of tone. Here it is again, foot-dragging the squirming sacrifice.

In Jeremiah chapter 1, verse 6, God called Jeremiah, it wasn't a very joyful commission in his case, the weeping prophet, but Jeremiah said,. Then said I, Ah, Lord God, behold, I cannot speak, for I am a youth.

Rejection of the King and Resistance to Christ

And then we move over to the Gospels and we have the Lord describing his reception, and it says in Luke 19, 14,. But his citizens hated him, and sent a delegation after him, saying, We will not have this man to reign over us.

Remember who we were speaking about this morning, remember the glories of the person we were speaking about. Imagine people saying, We will not have this man to reign over us. And then you think of Saul of Tarsus, and the great fisher was playing his fish, and he said to Saul, It's hard for you to kick against the goads.

Saul didn't realize the hook was already in his jaw, did he? And then, of course, the Lord encapsulated it all, he said, No one, having put his hand to the plow, is fit for the kingdom of God. Looking back, looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.

C .F. Lewis said that the Lord brought him back, kicking, brought him in, kicking and screaming, the most reluctant convert in all of England. That's amazing, isn't it? He brought him in, kicking and screaming, the most reluctant convert in all of England.

And you know, many of us can identify with what Lewis said. I can. I can. For years we had gone our own way. We wanted nothing more than to have our own way, and stamping our foot, we said, We will not have this man to reign over us.

Amazing, really, when you stop to think. We were determined that nobody was going to direct our lives. We had our own plans and ambitions, and we didn't want anything or anyone to interfere with them.

We didn't desire the Lord, or want the knowledge of his ways. Only happy when we could forget him, and only sad when we remembered him. We wanted pleasure, and we were convinced that God didn't want us to have it.

We looked upon him as the cosmic spoilsport, sitting up there determined to ruin our lives. We wanted the approval of our companions. To us, what our fellow men and women thought about us was far more important than what God thought about us.

We cared nothing for the divine approval. We wanted self to be on the throne of our lives, and we looked upon the Lord as a meddling usurper. It's strong language, but it's true just the same. Then gradually, our peace was shattered.

It must be that someone was praying for us. Everywhere we turned, there were those Christians who wouldn't mind their own business. They insisted on talking to us about God and Christ, about heaven and hell, about salvation.

And every time we turned around, we ran into it. It could have been on a shopping mall, or we'd drive along in the car and see Jesus saves printed on a rock, or we'd turn on the radio, and what did we hear?

Same thing. The things of God were just bumping into us everywhere in life, and it seemed that it was just as ubiquitous as a telephone booth or a Coca-Cola sign, or I might even say a McDonald's hamburger.

The Hound of Heaven and the Sinner Fleeing God

And then open warfare erupted. Up until that time, our hostility was like a sleeping dog. Now we could say, against the God who built the sky, I fought with hands up, lifted high, despised the mention of his grace, too proud to seek a hiding place.

There were times that we asked God to leave us alone. It scares us to think of it today, but we did. Like Saul of Tarsus, we were kicking against the goats, and it was hard. It was hard to kick against them.

In one sense, we were at war with God, and in another sense, we were running away from him. It was a war, and it was a chafe. In our insanity, we were trying to flee from the person who's everywhere, his omnipresent.

F. W. H. Myers captured it very beautifully in his poem, The Hound of Heaven. I'll read you a portion of it, and then I'll interpret it or translate it. He said, I fled him down the nights and down the days.

I fled him down the arches of the years. I fled him down the labyrinthine ways of my own mind, and in the midst of tears, I fled from him, and under running laughter, up-visted hopes, I sped and shot, precipitated down titanic blooms of chasmed fears from those strong feet that followed, followed after, but with unhurried pace and unperturbed chase, deliberate speed, majestic instancy, they beat, and a voice beat more instant than defeat, saying, All things betray thee, who betrayest me.

What a picture of running away from God, till we were short of breath, running away with all the strength. We were going up over the hills and down into the valley, and the Lord was just following with unhurried speed, just following, following, following, saying, Betray me, you betray yourself.

What a picture of a sinner running away from the Savior. It was all so irrational. We were fighting against our own best interests. We thought the Savior wanted to rob us of pleasure. He didn't want to rob us of pleasure.

He just wanted us to find it in the right place. In thy presence is fullness of joy, at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore. We thought that God's will was bad, and undesirable, and horrible, and actually it was good, and acceptable, and perfect, but we weren't looking through the eyes of faith at that time.

He, all the time, he wanted to save us from the sins that were dragging us down to hell. He wanted to give us eternal life as a free gift. He didn't come to steal, kill, and destroy, he came to give us life more abundantly and patiently.

Christ Knocks and the Sinner Hesitates

Knock. I often think of my dear friend Ernie Tatum, years ago in Canada he had a broadcast called Young Canada Bible Hour, and every week they used to beam the gospel out to the youth of Canada. And it was supported just by the freewill offerings of the Lord's people.

They just looked to the Lord to provide the money. One night at 10 o 'clock the phone rang, and is this Mr. Tatum? Yes, this is Mr. Tatum. And you know, I'm just passing through Toronto, I'm down at the train station, and I'd just like to come out and say hello.

And Ernie said, well it really is quite late, and she said, I wouldn't stay long, she said, I don't have too long between the trains, but she said it would just be a thrill to me. She said, I pray for the program, and she said, I'm vitally interested, and it would just be great if I could meet you.

And he said, I think the buses have stopped running by now. And she said, no problem at all, she said, I'd be glad to take a taxi. And no matter what he said, she had something to counteract. And finally he was defeated, and he said, well you just come.

And so they waited for her to come. And so she didn't really stay very long, she just wanted to come and meet them, and as she was leaving, she handed him an envelope, with a very sizable gift of money in it, for the young can of the Bible hour.

Do you know what he said? I'm so glad I let her in. And it always reminds me of Hoffman's picture of Christ standing at the door there at St. Paul's Cathedral. What a picture. Here's the door, it's overgrown with ivy.

No handle, no handle on the outside, no latch on the outside. There he is, standing outside, knocking at the door. Imagine, he stood at my heart's door, in sunshine and rain, and patiently waited an entrance to gain.

What shame, what shame, that so long he entreated in vain, for he is so precious to me. You know, there were moments when we actually weakened, we knew we should trust the Lord. After all, we had everything to gain and nothing to lose.

But what would our friends think? Whenever that thought would hit us, what would our friends think? That chills down our spine, you know, we broke out into goose pimples. What was the trouble? We were ashamed, ashamed of Jesus.

Remember who we were talking about this morning? We were ashamed of Him, the Lord of life and glory. Ashamed of Jesus. Can it be a mortal man ashamed of Thee? Ashamed of Thee, whom angels praise, whose glories shine through endless days.

Ashamed of Jesus, that dear friend on whom my hopes of heaven depend. No, when I blush, be this my name, by my shame, that I no more revere his name. But we would think of our friends, and we would think of their sneering laughs, and their snide remarks when we told them we had trusted the Lord.

And yet, by this time, conviction was deepening in our hearts. And day and night, God's hand was heavy upon us. Like David, our moisture was turned into the drought of summer, as he tells us in his penitential psalm.

And we tried to plead our basic goodness with the Lord. We tried to tell the Lord what pretty good persons we were, after all. And then the Holy Spirit would come and spoil it all. He would give us a terrible revelation of what we were inside.

And then we realized that what we were inside was a lot worse than anything we had ever done, which is absolutely true. And we knew that nobody with a thought life like ours could ever enter heaven, unless those sins were confessed, and forgiven, and covered by the blood of Christ.

When we should be sleeping, we were wide awake. And hell was no longer just a swear word to us, it was an awful reality. We thought of the terrible punishment that awaited us if we died without Christ.

And with hypocritical skill, we tried to hide it from our friends. Our parents, anybody else, don't let them know, don't let them know what's going on inside of you. We were such good actors, but inside we were just a tangled mass of confusion, fighting within and fears without.

Frankly, our life was falling apart. Like Louis, we felt the steady, unrelenting approach of him whom we so earnestly desired not to meet. The steady, unrelenting approach of him whom we so earnestly desired not to meet.

And then at last there came that moment of surrender, and that's what it was. It was surrender. We faced the glorious victor, Prince Divine, and we heard him say, Your sword, sir. And we realized it had to be unconditional surrender.

And we said, Nay, but I yield, I yield. I can hold out no more. I sink by dying, love-compelled, and own thee, conqueror. Actually, it happened during a meeting, and the congregation was singing, Just as I am without one sleep, But that thy blood was shed for me, And that thou bidst me come to thee, O Lamb of God, I come.

Just as I am, though tossed about with many a conflict, Many a doubt, Fighting within and fears without, O Lamb of God, I come. Charlotte Elliot really captured it in this lovely hymn. Just as I am, poor, wretched, blind, Sight-healing of the mind, And just all, all I need in thee to find, O Lamb of God, I come.

Just as I am, thou wilt receive, wilt welcome, Pardon, cleanse, relieve, Because thy promise I believe, O Lamb of God, I come. Just as I am, thy love unknown Has broken every barrier down, Now to be thine, Thine alone, O Lamb of God, I come.

It was wonderful, wasn't it? What a wonderful thing. If I could just quote Lewis once again. He said, Who can duly adore that love Which will open the high gates To a prodigal Who is brought in kicking, Struggling, Resentful, And darting his eyes in every direction For a chance to escape.

Amazing grace, isn't it? Amazing grace That God will work with men On terms like that. That we're reluctant And we're holding back. Who can duly adore A love like that To bring in the prodigal In that state of mind Looking for a chance To escape.

Surrendering the Christian Life for Service

The war was over. But another battle Had just begun. It's true that we had turned Our lives over to the Lord For the salvation of our souls. But what about turning Our lives over to the Lord For service?

Ah, that was something different. Wasn't it? You know, there are a lot of Christians Who have come to Christ And trusted him for salvation And have never got down on their knees And said, Lord Jesus, My life is yours.

You can do anything with it you want. No, actually, those Both happened at the same time For solid process, didn't they? I mean, he turned his life over To the Lord for salvation And for service On the same day At the same time.

But unfortunately It doesn't happen like that. We had to face this question. Can I trust the Lord? Can I surrender my life to him? That he should do with it Whatever he wants to do with it. A complete surrender.

A total surrender. Do we dare say to him, Lord Jesus, anytime, anywhere, Anything you want me to do? Which means, of course, Abandoning our own plans And ambitions for our lives. Surrendering them to him.

Yes, we could trust him For the eternal salvation Of our souls. But could I trust him To manage my life down here? Ah, that's different, isn't it? That's really different. And this is a war That goes on In the hearts of Christians.

And once again, Our stubborn will Shifted into high gear. And we knew what We knew what we should do. We weren't prepared To do it. We knew that divine logic Pointed in only one direction. Jesus Christ is God And died for me.

And no sacrifice Can be too great For me to make for him. We knew that. O Christ, Thy bleeding hands and feet Thy sacrifice for me. Each wound, Each tear Demands my life A sacrifice For thee. But that might interfere With our plans.

We had our own plans. We had plans For an idyllic marriage, Good looking children, Home in suburbia, Hot and cold folding doors, Two cars, The whole schmear. Good reputation In the community And a good income.

Oh yes, Some time To serve the Lord. That's the scenario, isn't it? Oh yes, Some time To serve the Lord. All the things that dreams Are made of. You know, To all outward appearance The world was our oyster And our friends really clucked When they saw the way We were getting on In the world.

But they didn't know That the sea was churning Inside us. We felt that We were just spinning our wheels We were just Becoming specialists In underwater basket weaving, You know? And all these thoughts Were going through our minds And making us More and more Miserable.

There was a deep disquiet In our hearts And there we were Chasing butterflies Chasing shadows. And under the surface We were struggling With certain Very unsettling facts. We knew this. We knew that The offering of our bodies To the Lord Jesus Was the only Reasonable response We could make to him.

Because we heard him say This is my body Given for you. What else could we say But, Lord Jesus, This is my body Given for you. No wonder Paul calls it Our reasonable service In Romans Trove. We struggled with this fact That if Jesus Christ is Lord He has a right to all.

And he is Lord, isn't he? He is Lord. That means Master. That means Incomplete control. We struggled with this fact He purchased us at Calvary At enormous cost Of his own Precious blood. And if he purchased me Then I don't belong To myself anymore.

I belong to the Lord Jesus. And if I take My life and spend it The way I want to spend it I'm taking something That doesn't belong to me. It doesn't seem quite right, does it? We struggled with this fact If I can trust the Lord Jesus For my eternal salvation I ought to be able to trust him To run my life down here.

Seems so reasonable. Seems so sensible. But we were afraid. Afraid of what his will Might be for us. Certainly it couldn't be As glamorous as the career We had carved out for ourselves, could it? But we didn't realize that The Lord had options That we knew nothing about.

That would make us deliriously happy That we chose to go on In our stubborn way. If I give my life to the Lord I might I might have to walk by faith And not by sight. Might even be on welfare. How gross.

No visible means of support. And then of course we were always afraid It might mean the mission field. We had prayed many times That the Lord would send workers to the mission field But never thought that it might be ourselves.

We weren't yielded for that. And we thought of the mission field Of all we could think of Would be snakes, spiders, scorpions The worst possible scenario That could possibly happen. Giving up the comforts of home And maybe even dying On a foreign field.

And then we were afraid of the unknown. Our imaginations just ran wild. I was thinking this morning of Abraham And how God called him out from Ur of the Chaldees. Told him nothing. Just told him nothing.

Just follow me. And Abraham went. It was marvelous, wasn't it? It would be nice to interview him This afternoon, wouldn't it? Sorry, Abraham. He'd laugh. He'd really enjoy that. And so we dueled with God.

And we listened to our hesitations Far, far Too long. And finally we realized The folly of it all. And the Holy Spirit seemed to remove the blinders From our eyes. And we saw There he is, the Christ of glory.

I belong to him And he deserves all That I am and have. And we realized that the God of infinite love Wants nothing but the very best For his people. That's true, too Wonderful to know that everything that comes into our lives Can be filtered by his love And wisdom and power.

And we tumbled to the fact that His will is good And acceptable And perfect. And so for the first time in our lives We were saved years before. For the first time in our lives We got down on our knees And we said, Lord Jesus I give my life to you.

I want you to use me Anywhere you can use me. And when we did that We gave him What we couldn't keep anyway And what we had ceased to love. The poet said that The poor is our sacrifice Whose eyes are lighted from above.

We offer what we cannot keep But we have ceased to love. Jim Elliot said it He's no fool Who gives what he cannot keep To gain what he cannot lose. And I say for the first time in our lives We got down on our knees And we just turned over our lives To him.

Daily Consecration and the Living Sacrifice

Second war was over. But then, as time went on We learned a painful lesson. We learned that Our living sacrifice Had a tendency to crawl off the altar A squirming sacrifice. That's true. We had already turned our lives over to the Lord For service.

But we realized that the crisis Of commitment was not enough. It had to be repeated on a daily A daily basis. Each morning we had to come To the Lord and say Lord Jesus I rededicate myself To you again For the next 24 hour period.

Each morning we had to kneel By our beds and pray What Bishop Taylor Smith Used to pray Lord Jesus My bed, your altar Myself Your living sacrifice. Lord Jesus My bed, your altar Myself Your living sacrifice.

Each morning we had to Come to him for an exchange of wills For the rest of our lives. This was to go on As Anne Grannis says it so beautifully in her poem Which really has had a very Strong influence in my life.

I want my life so Cleared of self That my dear Lord may come And set up his own furnishings And make my heart his home. And since I know What this requires Each morning while it's still I slip into that secret place And leave with him my will.

He always Takes it graciously Presenting me with his. I'm ready then to start the day In any task there is. This is how My Lord controls my interests My ills. Because we meet at break of day For an exchange of wills.

It's interesting to know How many people in this meeting Know that, know that every morning You get down on your knees And you just have that exchange of wills. What peace and poise it gives to your life.

You turn your will over to the Lord. At the beginning of the day You accept his will No matter what happens in the rest of the day. It doesn't make any difference does it. Whatever happens You take it as the leading of the Lord For that day.

And then as the Lord's will Unfolded in our life We found a real reason for our existence. There was a new peace In our lives. And we were humbly conscious That God was working in us And through us. And yet we weren't proud about it A wonderful thing.

And we realized that when our lives Touched other lives Something happened For God. And having turned our lives Over to the Lord for the next 24 hour period We went. We believed that he was guiding Controlling And using us.

And looking back over the whole Scenario we realized How well Theodore Manot Captured it all in his Lovely poem. Oh the bitter shame and sorrow That a time could ever be When I let the Savior's Pity plead in vain And proudly answered All of self and none of thee.

Yet he found me I beheld him bleeding On the accursed tree Heard him pray forgive them father. And my wistful Heart said faintly Some of self Some of thee. Day by day his tender mercy Healing helping full and free Sweet and strong And ah so patient Brought me lower while I whispered Less of self And more of thee Higher than the highest Heavens Deeper than the deepest sea.

Lord thy love at last Has conquered grant me now My soul's petition None of self. And you know everybody in the meeting this afternoon Is somewhere in that scenario Where are you? Maybe you're here unsaved.

The Call to Salvation and Unconditional Surrender

You've never taken that stand. You squirm when you think of trusting Christ. Maybe God is Speaking to you this afternoon. And you're saying tell me in the simplest Possible way how I can be saved. First of all you have to recognize you're a guilty Lost depraved Self deserving sinner.

Secondly you have to abandon Any thought Of contributing to your own salvation In whole or in part. Thirdly you must realize The Lord Jesus died there on the cross of Calvary For you Died as a substitute for you.

Then by a definite act of faith You must receive him As your only hope For heaven. When you do that God saves you Writes your name down The last book of life. Maybe there's someone here today and you know your state.

And yet you've never had that experience Never have had that experience Where you turn your life over to the Lord. I'm too old You're never too old to be obedient. I'm too young I haven't got through college I haven't got married yet.

Unconditional surrender. I wonder if God is speaking to some Young person here this afternoon. Is that the issue right now. Dare I trust The Lord Jesus To map out my life for me. Maybe there are some here who have Returned over control of their lives To the Lord and yet The wretched thing has crawled off the altar A squirming Sacrifice.

And the time has come to Rededicate your life To the Lord Jesus. I want to tell you He's worthy He's really worthy of it all The best life The life that's under his control. The Lord help us to find Ourselves in that scenario This afternoon And take appropriate actions.