Christian Growth the Life of Brokenness — William MacDonald

Years ago I was in a prayer meeting with some young people. It was an all-night prayer meeting as a matter of fact. We had broken up into groups, and I was with a group of young men kneeling on the floor there.

I looked at the floor, and I thought tears on the floor. And in that in that prayer session one of the young men prayed Lord break me and A shiver went down my spine. You know why? Because I had never prayed that prayer.

I Wasn't sure I was ready to pray it yet either. I had never heard such a thing before. Lived all my life in the assemblies and never heard the subject of brokenness discussed. Shortly after that I read a book called the Calvary Road by Roy Hesson.

And I admit to my shame it didn't do a thing for me. You know why I wasn't ready for it. Years later I Read it it had tremendous impact upon my life. You won't agree with everything in it. It's the case of eating the orange and spitting out the seed.

God's Value for Broken People

So we want to think about that today. We want to think about the life of brokenness. Men have little value for broken things. When something is broken men want to throw it away broken dishes broken furniture.

Torn clothing and all the rest. But God values broken things and especially values broken People. Psalm 34 18 the Lord is nigh unto them. That are of a broken Spirit. Psalm 51 17 the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit.

James 4 6 God resisteth the proud that give us grace unto the humble. That really touches my heart that the great omnipotent God. Who can resist the proud? Can't resist the humble. We have special access to him if our hearts are low.

Broken things are honored by the Word of God judges 7 verses 18 and 19 the pictures. The earthenware vessels in Gideon's army were broken and the light shone out. We have this treasure in earthen vessels and as those earthen vessels are broken.

The light of the gospel of the glory of God and the faith of Jesus Christ shines out. Matthew 14 and 19 the bread was broken and The multitude was said somebody says twas springtime when he blessed the loaves was harvest when he broke and So it was Mark 14 3 the jar was broken and the ointment poured out.

That the house was filled with a fragrance of the ointment first. Corinthians 11 24 his body was broken and Multitudes were redeemed. He's calling up to that life of brokenness. Conversion is really the beginning of brokenness, isn't it?

Conversion as the Beginning of Brokenness

The Holy Spirit convicts us of sin. He brings us to the place where we Confess our wretchedness up until that time. We've been fighting against the God who built the sky. Against the God who built the sky.

I fought with hands up lifted high despised the mention of his grace too proud to seek a hiding place. We were running away from God. We were in rebellion against God. The hound of heaven Chased us down.

And finally we lay panting at the feet of Jesus. But I want to tell you that's a form of brokenness, isn't it? And the deeper the brokenness I think The better for us. It's like a cult being broken. That cult is out there in the pasture jumping around frisky full of life but unusable for service.

And it's a painful process for that young animal to be brought under the harness. To be brought to the place of submission. But finally the coat is broken the shrew is tamed the sinner is mastered. In Matthew chapter 11 the Lord Jesus calls us to take his yoke upon him and learn of him.

And yokes Are for broken animals. Yokes are for broken people. Now, what are the elements of brokenness in the christian life? Well, first of all repentance confession and Apology. The readiness to confess to God and to others.

Repentance, Confession, and Apology

And incidentally, it's easier to confess to God than it is to one another, isn't it? Look at this. Most of our pride never recovers when we have to confess to somebody else down here on earth. But I've often thought that the hardest words to speak in any language are these words.

I was wrong. I am sorry. Please forgive me. I believe that's what it means when paul writes concerning the qualifications of elders. He must be blameless. Glad he didn't say sinless. He said blameless.

What's a blameless man. A blameless man makes mistakes. But when he does he's quick to confess and make the thing right. That's what keeps us in a blameless condition. The broken man doesn't sweep the matter under the carpet or wait for time to heal it.

First he goes to God then he goes to those whom he has wronged and says I was wrong. I'm, really. Sorry, please Forgive me. In true confession a person does not gloss over his sins. He does not say. If I have done something wrong, I am willing to be forgiven.

That sounds very pious, but it's a pious fraud. If I have done something wrong, I am willing. That's not confession. This is not confession. I will forgive you if you forgive me. We have to watch out for those conditional Forgivenesses, don't we?

I will forgive you if you forgive me. This is not true confession. A man confessed that he had stolen a length of rope. He neglected to say there was a cow at the other end of the rope. Recently in our daily bread. I read about a man who was Terminally ill.

And he realized that he had committed a wrong against another brother. And he called the brother in and he said look i'm just Short time more in this life. I want to get this settled. He said I want you to forgive me.

And so they had a wonderful time of rapport there. Brokenness and then as the brother was leaving the room, he said but remember if I get better it doesn't count. That is not true forgiveness. I a true confession.

I think you find true confession on david's part in psalm 32 51. Really wonderful to read those when I read those psalms. I think I can tell why god loved david. None of us is perfect. We're all we all have enough faults and failures to think of battleship.

But god loves it when we're broken before him and come and make it right. And I admire paul the apostle paul to how ready he was to break. He's there before the council, isn't he? And he's smitten on the face of the order of the high priest and he says god will smite you you're white and wall.

They said you speak to the high priest that way. He said I didn't know he was the high priest. He broke just like that. Hard. Because it seemed that justice was on paul's side at that time that he remembered that it was written Thou shalt not speak evil of the ruler of thy people.

Brokenness involves repentance confession. Apology, and it doesn't come naturally to any one of us. And I know when god is barbecuing me about this in my own life. I know that all my stomach juices turn to hydrochloric acid and I don't get any relief to let go.

And make the thing right. But I know that it's when it's not made right. The blessing is hindered. Think of the church the evangelical church today and what would happen in the way of revival if these wrongs were all made, right?

Restitution and Forgiving Others

Secondly brokenness involves restitution uh making right financially oftentimes. And we should teach this. As we're moving in and out among god's people. And restitution should always be done in the name of the lord Jesus.

It should never be done in such a way as to attract the credit to ourselves. But only to attract the credit to him when I work for you. I stole The office the pieces of office equipment i've been saved by the grace of god and god has been speaking to me.

And now I want to make it right. Years ago a man named wp nicholson was preaching in belfast ireland and the spirit of god was poured out in power. And souls were saved. And they started making restitutions of machine works there in belfast.

It was such a moving of the spirit of god that those machine companies had to build sheds to house the equipment that was returned. And finally they had to send out the message don't return anymore. We can't accommodate it.

It'd be nice to see that In north carolina and other places in the united states. Brokenness involves restitution. It involves my willingness to forgive someone else. I believe this is the order in forgiveness.

I believe if some wrong has been done against me Immediately, I should forget in my heart in my heart. Somebody said to clara barton Who was the founder of the american red cross. Don't you remember that mean thing she said about you she said.

Not only do I not remember. I distinctly remember forgetting. She had already forgiven in her heart. She distinctly remembered Forgetting. But then when a man repents And comes to me I administer forgiveness to him.

I don't think it's righteous to administer forgiveness if a man is not repentant. I can forgive in my own heart that takes it off my shoulders. That takes the monkey off my back. Between myself and the lord.

But I administer forgiveness to him when he comes And repents. Luke chapter 17 Verse 4. And then I tell him That I have forgiven him. Incidentally when people come to us and confess something They don't want us to say.

Oh, well, it was nothing at all, you know, they don't want to hear that. They want to hear us saying look I forgive you and the relationship is demented. God hates an unforgiving spirit, but I don't blame him.

Matthew 18 23 through 35. Brokenness is enduring wrong without retaliation. This is really divine. It can only be done in the power of the holy spirit. Our lord set the example for this. Didn't he first peter?

2 23. When he was reviled he reviled not again. Thy foes might hate despise revile thy friends unfaithful prove. Unwearied in forgiveness still thy heart could only love all give us love. To love like thee like thee oh lord to grieve far more for other sins.

That all the wrongs that we receive and we're called to this as children of god to endure wrong without retaliation. Two bizarre illustrations of that John wesley if you read the biography of john wesley had a very unhappy married life.

His wife actually dragged him around by the hair of his head. And he showed nothing but love and kindness toward her. A highland minister one day sitting by the fire reading his bible. His wife came and snatched the bible out of his hand and threw it in the fire.

And he said gently I don't think i've ever sat by a warmer fire. As you know His thorn became a rose. And his jezebel became a lydia. She was broken by his broken Spirit. I don't think i've ever sat by a warmer fire.

Returning Good for Evil

Brokenness is repaying evil with good. It's rewarding every Every Wrong with a kindness. Romans 12 filled with exhortations like that e. stanley jones tells of. A man in india driving the elephants down the road and he has a metal goad in his hand and he's he's pricking.

The elephants along move move. But all of a sudden the gold falls to the ground with a loud resounding Crash. The elephant turns around. And with its trunk lifts up the gold and gives it back to the masses.

Brokenness. And it's broken brokenness in my life when I can reward every discourtesy with a kindness that when men see jesus in us. Brokenness is honoring others above Self. I used to bother me that birth to seem others better than yourself.

And I think of tony accardo and some of these mafia men in river forest, illinois. And I think of their character and I think how can I honor them? It doesn't have anything to do with character. Does it doesn't mean that his character is greater than yours or mine?

It still means I can esteem them above myself with a sense of pouring out my life in loving service. For others, I think abraham esteemed lot and his men above himself. Lot looked and saw the well-watered plains of the jordan.

He said that's for us. That's the pasture land uh. We wanted abraham said be my guest be my guest said. Did you take what you want and i'll take what's left. Great, huh? No wonder god said to him I am thy shield abraham and thy exceeding great reward.

And when god said that to abraham, he made him fabulously wealthy. He got more than all of the well-watered plains of the jordan that day. He honored Lot above himself. I think dear dr. Ironside had that same spirit of brokenness.

He was a very gracious man, you know, and I don't know why people like to pick quarrels with him. But almost invariably after one of his messages some would come up and on some secondary matter on some trivial matter.

They would start an argument with dr. Ironside and he used to say well brother. When we get to heaven One of us is going to be wrong and perhaps it'll be me. You know, you can't fight with a man like that.

That took all the wind out of the opposition sails. When we get to heaven one of us is going to be wrong and perhaps it will be me. Brokenness is prompt obedience. Prompt obedience in Accepting and obeying the will of god.

Prompt Obedience to God's Will

Jonah wasn't broken at first. Was he it was far from broken. I can identify with him. He had his own idea of what should take place. And of all the cities in the world, he didn't want to go to nineveh was number one.

God has ways of breaking us his very novel ways of breaking us even in the belly of a great fish. I love that coat that carried jesus into Jerusalem, no one had ever no person had ever ridden on that coat before.

Was there a divine perception there. The life of that coat. But this one Who was now getting on him? was different. He took him obediently into the city. Prompt obedience, where's the clay? God is the potter.

We should be movable according to his will. Brokenness is death to public opinion. I mentioned wp nicholson a little while ago when he was first saved he got in with a salvation army. And one of the officers said to him do you mean business?

They were rugged individuals in those days. They didn't pamper the baby christian. Did you mean business. And he said well, I think so. And so they made a sandwich board for him and they said go and walk around belfast for two hours with this sandwich board.

And on it it said dead to public opinion. And he said it was one of the great formative influences in his life. And I think that's true. I think that the same grace that enables us to walk with god. Enables us to think lightly of the opinions of others.

If we're really walking in the center of his will we don't have to worry. Brokenness is keeping cool in the crises of life. That's a wonderful thing. I remember years ago traveling with young people in italy and um.

We had some very old vans. We had some vans that were really Dedicated to deepening a person's prayer life and Uh here we'd be passing through this rugged terrain and the van would Collapse, you know I really admire those young people.

A couple of them would stick their heads under the hood and see If they could put it together with hairpins and uh coat hangers. And then the rest of them would just grab their literature bags and go off into the adjoining village.

To get out the gospel. It's not a word that Boy, that's broken. Instead of sitting around and stewing over a broken down van. They saw it as an opportunity to witness for jesus. We need poise and equanimity in the crises of life.

We need to accept delays and interruptions and Flat tires and mechanical breakdowns and accidents and schedule changes schedule changes. Disappointment without frenzy without panic without hysteria and without ruffle.

Feathers up a flat tire could be one of the greatest blessings in disguise couldn't it. And brokenness is reacting calmly in these circumstances instead of Impatience brokenness does not mean that a man is a milquetoast.

Meekness is not weakness. A broken man is not a spineless jellyfish. He's the strongest of men. Broken people are the most influential. And incidentally we we can preach brokenness more by our lives than we can by standing up here and talking about it today people Read our lives.

And they mustn't think that because we're caught in the work of the lord that we're above that sort of thing. They're looking to see us in our lives. Brokenness is capable of anger. The lord Jesus was angry there in the temple when he went in with a scourge of small cords and drove out the money changers.

Brokenness Through Repentance and Restoration

I'd like to give you some illustrations and I hope that these will speak powerfully to our hearts this morning. A few years ago. I was in london and I met a gentleman named Canon bill butler. He was a cleric in the church of england.

A canon to a canon to us is a big gun, but I want to tell you bill butler is not a big gun years ago. The church of england sent him out to ruanda. To train men for the ministry in the church of england.

Ruanda at that time east africa at that time was experiencing revival. The revival wasn't particularly among the clergy. It was among the nationals who were believers. And bill butler was sent into that scene.

He um, he started to teach and he started to drift into liberal theology. He started to teach modernism there in the training school. There were a group of men. In that school, they called them the the abalakeli something like that.

It meant the saved one. It meant the born again one. And they began to pray for bill butler. And he heard about it. They were praying for his Spiritual recovery and he was most incensed To think that some of his students would be praying for him a cleric in the church of england.

And so he finally found the leader of this band of born again ones and he called him into his office one day. And he spoke to him very severely. The man this african national listened patiently to him.

And when he got through all he said The canon bill butler was. But you really do. And they continued to pray for bill butler. And he went on teaching this liberal theology. The spirit of god began to work in his heart.

Why. Because those men were praying. They were praying for their teacher. And he began to realize that the things that he was teaching were not according to the word of god. And one day he went to the bishop there.

And he made a confession to him. He said look i've been teaching i've been teaching Liberal theology to these men and he said it's not true. He said it's not true to the word of god. And the bishop buried his hands In his head his head in his hands and he said oh bill.

He said now you can never become a bishop and bill said praise the lord. Actually what was happening in bill bishop bill's life was exactly what was had been happening in the lives of the dear national believers there.

Then he realized that he had to go and make things right with that man. That national believer. And it was very hard. He said very demeaning. Mr. Dodd a member of the clergy. Would go to an african national to apologize to him very difficult.

But I tell you when the lord has his finger on you, you know, he's speaking. When he's dealing with you, you know, he's dealing with you. You have to go and he got in this car one day to drive to the home of this dear african national.

He pulled up the car. In front of his house the african national came to the door and all he did was look at the face of bill butler and he said hallelujah. Bill had his speech all prepared just like the prodigal son.

He didn't even get the words out before that dear man had said hallelujah. But as bill butler sat in his home there in london he said to me. It was the first time I ever Embraced an african national. They threw their arms around one another and hugged one another.

He said it was the first time I ever wanted to do it dear friends that brokenness after that those dear born again ones came to bill butler and they said Look, we meet every morning at four o 'clock for prayer.

Wouldn't you like to meet with us four o 'clock for prayer? Has never got up to pray at four o 'clock. And he was filled with excuses. And he presented all his strong reasons why he couldn't meet with him at four o 'clock and they said graciously would you try it for a week?

And all opposition was broken down and he started meeting with them every morning for prayer. The administration found out about it. They passed a rule that there would be no Meetings of any kind on the campus before seven o 'clock in the morning and they transferred bill butler to another school.

Oh, dear nationals had to face it. Shall we stop praying? They decided that they ought to obey god rather than man. They kept on praying and they were dismissed from the school. Just a few weeks short of graduation.

They bitter and they were bitter they came they came to bill butler. They sought him out and they came to him. They said brother. We feel that you still have feelings of bitterness towards the bishop and we feel you should go and make those things right.

And he had to do it. He had to do it. Dear friends, that's broken. That's broken. That revival is still going on in some sense. In eastern africa. And it's largely based on this whole principle of brokenness.

Making Amends After Angry Words

Some years ago. I was in a home in chicago and there were two Elder brothers there many of you would know them. Too embarrassed to mention their name and I was at emmaus at that time. In fact, I was a president of maya for the last six years.

I was there and I don't know why but they started out Against the mayas. And an ass with my baby and you don't like to have your baby criticized, you know. And I could feel the heat going up from here getting red here up.

And finally I just exploded and I laid them out in lavender and lace. And i'm ashamed to admit it but when I went away from the home that night I thought you know that justice had been done. But the lord didn't think so.

Weeks later. I was on a train. Going down to waterloo, iowa. I could take you to the he's on the train. It's so real. The spirit of god got a hold of me said yeah bill. You're going down to tell people how to live the christian life.

And there's that wrong that you committed against those two elder brothers in the lord and you've never made it right. I want to tell you, you know when the lord is barbecuing you. And I was barbecued that day.

And I couldn't get up on the platform that weekend till I had sat down and written a letter to them but apologized. You say the end of a beautiful friendship. No, that was the beginning of a beautiful friendship, you know god's way is set and when we Follow his word and our obedience to his word.

We come into a closer relationship with one another than we could have ever known before. That's really true. Well, you think I would have learned a lesson wouldn't you. No. Some of us are more stubborn than others.

Humility in Doctrinal Disagreements

I was sitting at my desk one day actually it was the day of harold harper's funeral and I was to have some part. I think brother bramhall Had the funeral that day, but I would have some part in the funeral and there's a brother visiting from britain In the area and he calls me on the phone and This brother happens to believe in a post-tribulation rapture or something.

I don't. I'm a very ardent pre-tribulation Rapturous, I believe christ could come at any moment and I don't know how it ever came up on the phone, but it came up and we tangled on the phone. And it was terrible preparation for a funeral.

Once again, you have a feeling Of accomplishment ditto thinking once. Years later i'm in london once again, I think I could take you to the street. I'm walking down the street in london. The lord is walking with me, too.

But lord, I still believe in the pre-tribulation rapture, you know, that's not the point the way you talk to him. The way you talk to him, that's the point. It's not a question of who was right on that prophetic man.

Wouldn't you know it there was a telephone booth. Red telephone booth right ahead. I couldn't. I had to go in and I had to call him on the phone and apologize, you know, he said let's meet tomorrow and have lunch.

And we met the next day and had lunch and really had a wonderful time. And I still believe in the pre-tribulation. That was not the issue. Some of you have read some of the books of alexander white Great man of god one day one of his parishioners came to him and said brother.

There's a visiting preacher in town. He said I heard about it. The the parishioner said to him he said publicly That dr. So-and-so your ministerial colleague Is not a believer and dr. White was incensed To think that any such thing would ever be said about this man of god.

And he really let off steam there in his office to think that anyone would ever have the gall To say this about this dear man of god when he got through the parishioner said that's not the worst. Dr White this visiting preacher says that you're not a believer.

You know what? He said. He said please leave my office. That I may get before the lord and examine my heart isn't it? He was a lion in somebody else's cause but he was a lamb in his own. Brokenness before the lord.

The Steps Toward a Life of Brokenness

What are the steps to brokenness? Well, I just think I think i've already given you the first step. I wonder are we willing today? To go before the lord and say lord great king. If you're not I can't blame you.

Because it's a painful process. So I really think that's where brokenness begins. When from the depth of my heart I cry out to the rock that is higher than I lord. Praise me. Then what then I ransack the path.

For wrongs that I might have committed. For things that I swept under the carpet for things that I might have felt that time will heal for unkind. For things that were done or spoken in the flesh. Hmm.

And then I get down on my knees and I confess them to god and as fast as possible go and confess them for the person Whom I have wronged. And i'd like to just suggest one other thing in closing is that is.

That when we do that that we not hesitate to share the experience. Humiliating as it is with the saints of god. That's how it's prayed. That's how brokenness prays when they see it in our lives. They won't feel so intimidated.

They won't feel so threatened. They'll know that we're flesh and blood too. It'll be easier for them. That will be the prelude to rebonding. Lord, I think we all this morning have heard Ministry that Should certainly cause us to search our hearts and to reflect upon our lives.

Perhaps the reason that god's blessing has not been enjoyed In our home assemblies is the very thing our brother mcdonald has brought before us and perhaps it's been the the span of the leadership in the assembly that has Been the greatest contributor to the lack of blessing.

Is that possible? I believe it is. And I just thank god for what we've heard and I trust we will not just be here. The greatest desire of our hearts is god's blessing but for god's blessing to come. We often must experience painful painful situations.

May god deal with each of us.