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Source: https://www.sermonindex.net/speakers/jerry-jennings/marriage/
Now I'm in Ephesians chapter 5. Ephesians 5, verse 21,. Submit yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church.
And He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Verse 25, Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it, that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word.
That He might present it to Himself a glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. Notice, So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies.
He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it even as the Lord the church. For we are members of His body and of His flesh and of His bones.
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife, and they too shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Chapter 6 in verse 1, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise. Now Paul is urging us to live a godly life. Verses 1 to 7 in the assembly.
Verses 8 to 14 in the field. Verses 15 to 17 at the mall. We live a godly life at the mall, right? And then of course, in verse 22 to verse 33 in the home. And he uses marriage as a picture of the Lord's relation with the church.
He loved us and gave Himself for us. And He also loves us and cares for us today. Now, I'm not an expert on marriage. And I didn't have a marriage made in heaven, and I don't know of too many that do.
Some folks say, well, their marriage was made in heaven. And I guess that means that everything is hunky-dory. And there's never a rift between the two. And everything is just like eating rainbow stew.
Well, if Mr. Patterson say, he'd say, that's a rare thing. So I'm not an expert in marriage, but I am experienced. I was married to my wife. I married her at 17 years of age. She was 17, I was 20. We were children.
And we were married nine months short of 50 years. And the Lord took her home. Now, I'm left here. And I am no expert in this matter of marriage. But I have picked up a few little things along the way.
And I could tell you a whole lot of things not to do. Because I did a whole lot of things I shouldn't have done. I've done it the wrong way most of the time. And she put up with me for 14 years, in my yondering years, before I ever heard the Gospel, or she ever heard the Gospel.
And the Lord was pleased to save us. And the verses we read reminds us of a relationship and the great need of harmony in the home. That's important that there's harmony in the home. And I think that the chapter begins with a key word, followers, meaning imitators, of our Father, the God.
He is love, thus we walk in love and likeness. And our greatest example of that is the Lord Jesus Christ. He has sanctified us, that means He has set us apart for the purpose of growing in the Lord's likeness as we serve Him here on this earth.
And He is a supreme example of self-sacrificing love and loyalty. He's the greatest example. And you know that this will go a long way in maintaining harmony in the home. Self-sacrificing love, do you have it?
And loyalty, does your wife know you have it, brother? And do the husbands know that the wives have it? Self-sacrificing love. See, love is something that gives and gives and gives and gives and never ask anything in return.
Do I love my wife that way? Do you love your wife that way, wife? Do you love your husband that way? That's ideal, that's ideal. This and the filling of the Spirit is the secret to a happy home life. That's what you want, isn't it?
That's what I wanted, was a happy home life. And those of you that are married in the room today and those that you are contemplating marriage, and there are some in the room, I know of at least two, this is what you'll want in your home.
You'll want a happy home life. And this power comes from in, it's not pressure from without. When we were saved, we were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise. And when we yield our lives, ourselves will be filled.
And the evidence of a Spirit-filled life is verse 19, joy. Joy. You have joy in your life? Does your wife have joy in her life? Do you bring joy into your wife's life? Wife, do you bring joy into your husband's life?
Wife, life, excuse me. In verse 20, there's gratitude. In verse 21, there's obedience. This isn't an emotional experience as some people seem to think that they have as they move through life. And it's associated with tongues that they don't understand and visions that are generally the wrong colored light.
But it's a correct conduct in Christian character. I think that in verse 21, Paul is establishing the principle of submission. It is mutual and it is based upon reverence and respect for one another and reverence and respect for God.
And there will be mutual submission. Not only the wife submitting to the husband, but the husband submitting to the wife. In verse 22, wives submit. And it says in verse 23, husband's what? Love. And in chapter six in verse one, it says, children obey.
And in verse four, it says, fathers provoke not your children to anger. So every family member seems to have a God-given sphere and a God-given responsibility. And we need to stay in our sphere. We need to stay in our responsibility.
Now, in verse 21, it says, wives submit. And the principle of submission is applied to the wife first. And that's to every wife, regardless of her ability, regardless of her education, regardless of her scriptural knowledge, regardless of her spiritual maturity, regardless of her qualities, regardless of her qualifications, that may exceed those of her husband's.
The Word of God still tells her that she's to submit to her husband. That's God's Word. That's not mine. I'm not reading out of the Post magazine. And I'm not trafficking in unfelt truth. Now, ideally, in verses 22 to verse 24, she submits to his leadership.
Are we doing that? Sisters, wives in the room today, are you submitting to the leadership of your husband? Well, the Word of God urges you to do so. In verse 33, she respects him in her life and in her lip and in her loyalty.
And if she's lipping off, she isn't respecting him. You say, where did you get that? Right here from my ears. I hear that. Sisters lipping off to their husbands. Husbands lipping off to their wives. That's disrespectful.
That's disrespectful when the wife does it to the husband and it's disrespectful when the husband does it to the wife. When you read in Titus 2 and verse 4, she loves him. Do you love your husband, wife?
Titus tells us that the wife loves her husband. In Romans 7, verse 2 to 3, she loves him, excuse me, she lives with him until death. Either her death or his death. And her submission isn't commanded by her husband or demanded by her husband.
It's offered by her willingly to him. Do you submit to your husband willingly? He's not commanding your submission. He is not demanding your submission. You are ideally offering it to him as what? Unto the Lord.
See, that's it. And that's regardless of the husband's personal worthiness or spiritual condition. Now we're at verse 25. That's where we wanted to get, right men? Husbands, love your wives. Now the husband's authority has been established in verse 22 to verse 24.
And now the Scripture moves on to his responsibility to his wife. The husband's responsibility to his wife. You know, I've heard this little statement made from time to time. Well, you know, if my husband loved me, I would submit to him.
And then I've heard men say, well, you know, if my wife submitted to me, I would love her. That's conditional. You don't read that here. You don't read about ifs. If has nothing to do with it. Says husband, love your wives.
Says wives, submit to your husband. Not if. It says husbands, love your wives. Not if. The husband's authority is established in verses 22 to verse 24. And now the Scripture moves on to the man's responsibility, the husband's responsibility to his wife.
His love and affection for her is to be selfless. I'm not exaggerating. This is the Word of God. It is to be sacrificial. No holding back. No holding out. And the standard example I take it is the Lord's love for the church.
His bride. No holding back. No holding out. He never held back. He never held out. His love for the church was sacrificial. His love for the church was selfless. And He is a supreme example for the husband in the room today whose wife is submitting to Him because she loves Him from the very bottom of her heart.
And He loves her from the very bottom of His heart. And she knows it. And He knows it. The husband in verse 23 leads her. In verse 29, he nurtures her. In Matthew 19, verse 39, he lives with her faithfully all their life.
Faithfully. Now, consider Colossians 3 and verse 19, Husbands, love your wives. And be not bitter against them. And that simply means stop being bitter against them. Stop being harsh. You know, it just seems that it's so easy for a man, a male, to be harsh.
God says don't be harsh towards your wife. And God says don't be rude towards your wife. And God says don't be impatient towards your wife. Even if you're sitting in the driveway and you've been there for ten minutes, and she's following you out the door, right?
But on the way out the door, she saw that that flower over there needed some water. I've never figured that out. I'd be sitting in the driveway. Well, I knew better than to honk the horn. You don't warm the horn up.
I learned that early on. Because I warmed her up. But it's always amazing to me that when we're ready to go, you're ready to go? Yeah, I'm ready. Let's go. Out the door I goes. I look behind me. She's not there.
You go back in the house, you know what she's doing? Well, she's watering the flowers. And she's saying goodbye, Joey. She's talking to the bird. You know, she has to tell the bird goodbye. And then she has to go to the two cats and tell the two cats goodbye.
And then she has to go to her dog and tell her dog goodbye. They don't understand her. And I'm saying to her, they don't even understand what you're... Oh, yes, they do. OK, it's me that doesn't understand.
You know, we don't want to get impatient with them. Even when you're sitting in the driveway, patiently waiting, impatiently waiting. So don't be harsh. Don't be rude. Don't be impatient. Don't be angry.
Don't be resentful, because I'll tell you something, if you are, and one day God chooses to take her home, do you know what's going to haunt you at night in the loneliness of the house? Those times you were resentful.
And those times you were rude. And those times you were harsh. And those times you were impatient. And night after night after night, you're going to think, if I only had a chance to do it over again, I'd take her in my arms and never be impatient with her again.
Nor harsh, nor rude. You think about that. And vice versa for wives towards their husbands. Is it possible to love your wives and be not bitter against them? Sure it is. God wouldn't say it was so if it wasn't so.
God means what He says, and He says what He means. It is so simple. It is so plain. It is so clear. And when God calls you and I to do something, He enables us to do it as well. Then in chapter 6 and verse 1, we read this, Children, obey your parents.
Honor your father and mother, the first commandment with promise. And I take it that the word father in verse 4 is parents in general. Father and mother. Provoke not your children to anger. How do you do that?
By unreasonable demands. We put unreasonable demands upon our children, we're going to provoke them to anger. If we're rigid with them, if we have a domineering spirit towards them, we will provoke them to anger.
You know, children, your parents will love you. They won't only love you, but they'll lift you. And they won't only lift you, but they'll limit you. And now it's been suggested to me by a sister that I have to add an L to that and look in the Bible with them.
Our brother's been reminding of that this afternoon. And then there was a brother that reminded me there's another L that belongs with that, and that's a licking. Not only looking, but licking with the hand.
That kind of licking. Look in the Bible with you and lick your bottom, young boy, young girl, when you need it. Or when you insist on disobeying them. If you insist on disobeying them, then you can look forward to a licking.
I don't know if you call them lickings nowadays. When I was a boy, you got a licking. I got a licking with a hairbrush. Oh, that hurt. And then I got a licking with the end of my dad's shoe. He taught me how to kick a football and put a spin on it.
And every time I made a mistake, he'd kick me. You learn quick that way, you see. But I'm not recommending that at all. I think that's wrong. And if, children, you don't want to respond to the warning, then you're going to experience the warming.
They'll warm you right up. It's your choice. Either heed the warning or experience the warming. And you know something? The Word of God authorizes them to do that. Never mind the government. Never mind the government.
Their first responsibility is to God in raising you up and not to the government. And their first responsibility is to God and to your good. You just never mind the government. And you know what will happen?
You'll love them. You'll love them. You'll obey them. And you know what? Someday, you'll thank them. I know grown men that have turned and thanked them for the way that she raised them up. And you know when they're going to thank you?
It's likely when their own children are punching their buttons. Then they'll turn to the mother and the father and thank them. You know, let me just say this. Naturally speaking, one of the very best friends you children have in this room today are your mothers.
You know, when my wife died, I called my boy. He wasn't in the house. My wife died at home in the house. And when she took her last breath, I waited about 10 minutes and I called my boy up. And I told him, I said, your mama died.
And he'd come in the house. He was only 10 miles away. And he came in the house and he walked down the hallway to the bedroom. And he cried with a real long, wailing cry. Mom, come back. She didn't come back.
He walked out in the living room and he sat down by me. And he says, Dad, he says, I just lost the best friend I've ever had. You know, young man, young woman, naturally speaking, the very best friend you have in this room today is your mama.
You be kind to her. You be kind to her. You know she's kind to you. A marriage based on laws and not love and not loyalty is a recipe for unhappiness. Must be based upon love. And it must be based upon loyalty and communication absolutely necessary.
I'll tell you one other thing. And that's commitment. If it's going to work, you need to be committed to the marriage. The Lord bless these three thoughts.