Episode 650: TLP 650: God’s Plan for Your Family, Part 3 | what you must be

God’s Plan for the Family

So there's your family plan. It's not your family plan because I said so or the parents said so it needs to be your family plan. Because God says so. Parenting isn't about us. In fact parenting isn't even about our kids.

Parenting is just one way Christian dads and moms are to worship God. So welcome to the truth love parent podcast where we train dads and moms to give God the preeminence in their parenting. I'm so glad you've returned for the third part of this short series.

God's plan for your family. So far we've talked about what God doesn't want our families doing what he wants our families doing and today We're going to discuss what he wants each of our family members to be of course.

If you haven't heard parts one and two. Please go back and listen to those episodes first. And if you and your family are returning you have your life work and you've read Colossians 3 then you're ready to go as.

Always, please check out the description of this episode to access the free life work transcript and links to related resources like podcast episodes. And series that will dive deeper into the ideas. We unpacked today as well as books and the evermind app and even a discount link to use at mypillow .com.

Yeah. You probably didn't know that was there did you. And if you have finally decided that you want to partner with this ministry by becoming a Monthly donor that link is also in the description of today's show.

So let's get started. The best way to do the right things is to be the right thing. Why would a mechanic ever do a root canal on someone. Only dentists do that and most dentists Likely don't want to change your oil or fix your AC.

What we are sets the expectation for what we're to do. How we're to do it and why we're to do it and the power in which were to do it. On the first episode of this series We talked about the fact that none of the prohibitions or commands in Colossians 3 make any sense.

If we're not a follower of Christ. If the God of the Bible tells someone to do something that person won't do it if they don't believe in the God of the Bible. If you don't love Jesus, and if you're not in awe of how he has purchased your salvation, you're not going to want to obey him.

But if we do love God the Father God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. Then we absolutely will want to flee from immorality impurity evil passions greed Idolatry anger wrath malice slander abusive speech and lying and we're going to run toward compassion kindness humility gentleness patience bearing with one another forgiveness love unity peace gratitude Robust biblical truth and wise teaching and admonishing in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.

So if we're followers of God and those are what we need to avoid and what we need to embrace. What else is there to talk about? Well. Those of you who already read through the end of the chapter know that God is now going to be even more specific Concerning how we're to do the things he wants us to do within the unique roles.

He has for us as a family. But before we get any further Will you please partner with us in our mission to glorify God by equipping families all over the world to be everything the Lord called And created them to be.

You can visit truthloveapparent .com. Donate to start giving five ten twenty five or even a hundred dollars or any number of dollars you can each month. We will use that money to further the gospel of Christ in the families of this world.

Please click the link in the description to sign up to gift a tax-deductible donation to our 501c3 nonprofit. Thank you for what you're going to do. All right. Let's start by reading Colossians 3 18 through 25.

Family Roles Under Christ’s Authority

Wives be subject to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands love your wives and do not be embittered against them children. Obey your parents and all things for this is pleasing to the Lord.

Fathers do not exasperate your children so that they will not lose heart. Slaves and all things obey those who are your masters according to the flesh not with eye service as men pleasers. But with integrity of heart fearing the Lord.

Whatever you do do your work heartily as for the Lord rather than for men knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. Serve the Lord Christ for he who does wrong will receive the consequences of the wrong which he has done and that without partiality.

So our family plan says this so far number one our family follows Christ. Number two because our family follows Christ we put off sinful living and number three because our family follows Christ. We put on righteous living and today our family plan will add number four.

Because our family follows Christ we fulfill our God-given roles. Now the passage we read starts with wives and there are a lot of reasons God did that but we're not going to start there. We have a series about Christ honoring authority in the home.

And the reality is that God has put the husband and father in authority in the home. He has inherent authority and inherited authority in the house. Therefore we're going to start with dad and move through the authority structure in the family.

Husbands Must Love and Lead in Righteousness

Letter a dad will love mom and lead her in righteousness. Now I've mentioned this before but this study is designed to open our family's eyes to God's general plan for our families. He has a big and beautiful plan.

But in order to truly understand and grow in this plan, we have to get into the details. Immaturity is the result of ignorance and generality. However maturity is working out the specificity and submission to the details.

Wouldn't it be terrible if your dentist wanted to take care of a cavity or do a root canal or pull a tooth and they Didn't know how important it was to use numbing agents to dull the pain. Dentists need to know a lot of very specific details in order to be good dentists so that they don't hurt you.

Mechanics need to know so much about how the different cars work and are built in order to do their jobs. Well, so too we need to study hard all of the expectations God has for us if we're going to Fulfill what he's called us to do.

Therefore it's not good enough for dads to know that he has to love his wife and lead her in righteousness. He has to understand the full biblical reality concerning what love is and how someone is to lead another in righteousness and what righteousness even is and None of that is going to be helpful at all if he doesn't then do what God has called him to do.

Now we have so many resources from our family love series to our family united in God. To our biblical parents series and our biblical family series that dive even deeper into what it means for husbands to love their wives and Not be embittered against them.

However, so as not to miss a very important opportunity, please remember what Jesus taught us about servant leadership. We are not to lord our authority over anyone. We are to exercise it. Yes, but we're not to lord it over them.

Jesus said whoever will be first must be last. Jesus sacrificed himself for those whom he loved. So too must the husband and father. We aren't kings of the castle who are supposed to be served by everyone in the home.

We are servants who are supposed to lead in the home. Of course I'm not saying that your family shouldn't serve you as they glorify God because they're commanded to serve everyone else in the family as well.

But dad from your perspective, you're not demanding that others serve you. That's not the point. Love is wanting and working toward God's best interest for the one loved and there's nothing more loving than for you to live righteously.

In light of God's holiness teaching your wife to do the same. What about the children you ask? Well, we're not there yet as the husband is pursuing Christ likeness by loving his wife and walking arm-in-arm with her and He's living in a Christ honoring way.

Wives Submit to Their Husbands in the Lord

Let her be mom will submit to dad as she submits to the Lord. It's very important to recognize that Paul under the inspiration of the Holy Ghost provides the motivation. For why wives are to submit to their husbands.

This isn't about him being better. This isn't about him being more worthy. She submits to her husband in the Lord. She does this in the power of Christ and to the glory of Christ because God commands it.

Now submission is a dirty word in our culture, but it's a beautiful word in the Bible. Jesus submitted to the will of the Father. Jesus submitted to his earthly authorities including his sinful parents and sinful governing authorities.

Now this isn't to say that he ever obeyed them when they wanted him to sin. But he did put himself under their authority obeying them to the glory of the Father. The church is to submit to Christ. Children are to submit to their parents.

Everyone is to submit to the inherited authority of God's people. My friends submission is a beautiful humble and glorious practice with which we all need much more practice. Wives this means that you are recognizing the inherent authority of your husband and you also submit to the inherited authority of your husband as he's submitting to God and Lovingly leading you in righteousness.

And again, you're to do this out of obedience and love for your God. Now you might be asking about what happens if dad does something he's not supposed to do. Who's his authority to reprove correct and train him?

Well first I'll say that we haven't gotten to that yet. We will though second I'm going to encourage you the same way Jesus did focus first on the log in your own eye deal with your own sin and Pursue your own obedience before demanding that everyone else obey God better than you do.

Children Must Obey Their Parents

Let her see. The children will obey dad and mom as they strive to please the Lord. Children obey your parents in all things for this is pleasing to the Lord. Do you see how important it was that we started off with our identity in Christ?

There's no reason to obey your parents if you're not trying to please the Lord. That's why kids all over the world today don't obey their parents. It doesn't make any sense to the darkened mind to do things I don't want to do regardless of who's telling me to do it.

It doesn't matter. By the way, if you think like that you have a sinful darkened mind as well, and that's a problem. Though we never have to obey someone who's telling us to sin against God. We absolutely have to do what we're told otherwise.

Obedience is the fruit of submission. As I put myself under someone's authority I will obey them as they teach command reprove correct train admonish rebuke and edify me. Now before I move on some people like to point out that submission is not the same as obedience.

And that's not technically inaccurate, but they are. Necessarily related to submit is always a readiness to obey but you can obey without submitting. Here's how it works. Obedience says I do what you tell me to do.

Submission says I place myself under your authority. That means that submission establishes the relationship. Obedience expresses the relationship in action. As I mentioned a person can theoretically obey without being submissive.

For example, someone might obey a command because they're forced to while internally resisting the authority giving it. Our teacher children to obey series shows us that this kind of external obedience doesn't truly please the Lord.

Even if it looks like obedience on the outside. Conversely, someone can submit without having a specific command to obey at that moment. Submission acknowledges the person's authority even when no particular instruction has been issued.

That's why the two concepts shouldn't simply be treated as synonyms. But also why you can't argue that submission doesn't require obedience. It's also a nod to the fact that children are immature and often always unsaved when they're born into this world.

But just because they can't obey to the glory of God in the right way or for the right reason doesn't mean they shouldn't at Least offer superficial obedience. It's not good enough to please the Lord, but it's a necessary starting place for their growth and development.

However mature believers hopefully like mom are also commanded to willfully place themselves under another's authority. Submission is to be a joy. It's a privilege. It's something that requires a mature desire to glorify God.

Okay, husbands love and lead their wives. Wives submit to their husbands. Children obey their parents. Yes, moms to have inherent authority over their children and they should also exercise inherited authority and children must obey.

Parents Must Not Provoke Their Children to Sin

Letter D. Dad and mom will provoke the children to righteous living and not provoke them toward sinful living. We have an episode all about provocative parenting. The good kind and the bad kind that deals with this passage and its sister passage in Ephesians.

A lot of bad teaching has circulated about what it means to provoke your children to wrath or exasperate them. But we need to understand these ideas as the scriptures teach them. We parents and yes that term translated father is used elsewhere in scriptures for parents in general.

We need to avoid that which will put stumbling blocks into our kids lives. That's sinning against them and we must flee from that. Please check out the provocative parenting episode to learn how we sin against our kids in this way and what it biblically means to exasperate them.

Every Family Member Must Submit to God-Given Authority

Letter E. Everyone will obey our authorities in all things. Not merely to please our authority but more importantly because we fear the Lord and want to serve him. After talking about the family dynamic Colossians 3 broadens the discussion to masters and servants.

But here's the thing. There are a number of different authority dynamics that God has woven into our society. We have governments teachers employers and the spiritual inherited authority of God's people.

And it doesn't matter who we're obeying and to whom we're submitting ourselves. We need to do it first and foremost because we love and fear God we need to submit and obey heartily as unto the Lord. And this is where we learn that even dad and mom have authorities outside of the house to whom they need to submit.

And potentially inside the house. But first dads don't get to break the law just because they're dad. Dads need to submit to their employers as well. But everyone in the home dads mom sons and daughters need to submit to the one another's that God commands his people to do for each other.

This is that inherited authority. I keep talking about an inherited authority can come from anyone anywhere. Inherited authority is when someone opens God's word to say something like this. God's not pleased when we live like that.

This is called reproof rebuke admonishment, etc. The person isn't telling you not to steal or lie or say unkind things because they are the authority and they have decided You shouldn't do those things.

They're telling us not to sin because our creator God tells us not to sin. That means that the best authority for dad to wield is inherited authority. Why fall back on your own authority when I can lean on God's?

But that also means that let's say the youngest person in your family sees the parents in an argument. They can lovingly and respectfully and carefully share with their parents that the bible teaches that the anger of man Doesn't accomplish the purposes of God.

We learn that in the book of James. And not only is there nothing wrong with the child doing that not only is that a beautiful thing. But dad and mom would be wise to submit to God's authority that was lovingly brought to their attention by their child.

And the same actually goes for unbelievers when I was younger and far too often living in rebellion to God from time to time I would have unsaved people tell me Aren't you a christian? I thought christians weren't supposed to do that.

Even though even though that unsaved teenager wasn't my authority if he or she rightly spoke God's truth on the matter. They were unknowingly exercising inherited authority in my life, and I would have been wise to submit to God's authority spoken through their words.

Now you might be saying Aaron the Colossians 3 passage doesn't talk about any of that. It's talking to servants and their masters. It's true. This passage deals with submission and obedience and relationship to slaves and masters.

But this is the foundational truth. We learn in other places in scripture about inherited authority in general. It absolutely applies to our family plan and is taught and exemplified all throughout the bible.

Also, I know that this idea of children exercising inherited authority over their parents is always a startling thing for anyone to hear. Especially the first time and I speak often about it at live conferences and on this podcast and in my book about family strife.

I do that because it's very important, but it's also very easy to abuse and do the wrong way. The key is that God commands Christians to reprove, rebuke, admonish, teach, and correct each other in truth and love.

And he doesn't say that a Christian child isn't allowed to do that to a Christian parent. Now obviously it needs to be done the right way. Otherwise, it's disobedience and doesn't please the Lord. But assuming it's done the right way and assuming that my child is a born-again Christian.

Then yes, I the father absolutely needs to submit to the biblical truth. My child is lovingly sharing with me. Now I spent more time on that than I planned simply because I know that it can be a startling and people can abuse this idea By trying to do it the wrong way.

So I wanted to provide a little more detail than that I have on other points. The key is that our family plan needs to include the fact that we absolutely will submit to God's truth regardless of who's speaking it.

And we absolutely will obey all of our authorities to the glory of God. And finally letter f. Everyone will receive the consequences of our sinful choices with a good attitude because we understand that consequences come from God.

Receiving Consequences With a Godly Attitude

The last verse in Colossians 3 says for he who does wrong will receive the consequences of the wrong which he has done and that without partiality. We have a short series all about biblical consequences.

In that study We learn about the importance of primary consequences and secondary consequences. We also learn that consequences are a loving thing designed to help us. Therefore when we sin when we fail at our family plan part of fixing the problem will be to accept our consequences with a good attitude.

Recognizing that God wants to use them to help us mature and therefore Keep our family plan better. So there's your family plan. Now it's not your family plan because I said so or the parents said so it needs to be your family plan because God says so.

And I pray that everyone in your family is a born-again follower of Christ. And I pray that reality motivates all of you to pursue the glory of God by running from sin. Running to righteousness and doing so within the unique roles.

God has given you in your family. Now if you need help putting this plan into action in your family Please email us at counselor at truthloveparent .com or leave a voicemail at 828 -423 -0894. And also share this series on social media and be sure to tag us so that we can interact with you there.

Also go to truthloveparent .com forward slash donate to become a monthly donor. And then join us next week as we finish this season with a look into graduation day. Truth love parent is part of the evermind ministries family and is dedicated to helping you worship god through your parenting.

So join us next time as we study god's word to learn how to parent our children for life and godliness. And remember that tlp is a listener supported ministry. You can visit truthloveparent .com forward slash donate to learn more.

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