Colossians 3:19-21 - Biblical Childrearing, Pt. 1

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Pastor David Mitchell

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Colossians 3:19-21 - Biblical Childrearing, Pt. 2

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Good morning, we had This season reminded me of brother
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Bill because his birthday was on the third He's in heaven now, but I was thinking about his
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Sunday school teaching Yesterday I was just thinking about him miss him but he was a really good
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Sunday school teacher fun to listen to for 13 years and And same amount of years
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Otis taught exactly same number of years, yeah, and and so today's brother
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Paul's birthday, so Yesterday was mine. So this is the time
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Jesus was born and it's either on the third fourth or fifth We're not whoever's at the pulpit that's the date so Right now he was born on the fourth
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Sometime in October most likely though Sometime in the fall so It's a great time of year.
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I love the fall weather. We have here in Texas the ragweed not so much but The weather is wonderful.
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So we did have a great day yesterday with dr. Charles Carl Ball and He's quite an amazing man.
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I've watched him build that Creation evidence museum from a small trailer house
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To what it is today, which is an amazing museum full of so many antiquities and scientific things that talk about the pre -flood conditions and The probably most accurate model of Noah's Ark in the world and now
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Just presented yesterday for the first time a 3d printed replica of Solomon's Temple, I Think it was
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Solomon's Temple. Yeah It was one of the temples so Really incredible and I was there
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Oh month or so ago, maybe six weeks ago, but probably a little longer than that actually and There were only two people that built that model and it's huge.
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It's I don't know. It's as big as You just took this little part of the platform, it's that big and So it was a woman and her son that built it and the son did all the 3d printing
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Little little bitty blocks were the blocks that go in and she hand painted them all to make them look real it's really phenomenal and So it's a place if you've not been there you need to go
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If you're gonna go ask me to go with you because I always like to go and I'll introduce you to dr Baugh if he happens to be there the day we're there, but it's he's an incredible man
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I didn't realize he was 89 because his energy is what they all the yeah, the he's 89 years old and you know as such energy you would not know it, but He yeah, he's one of only five
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Entities in the world that have the entire Old Testament in ancient Hebrew scrolls
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And so the day was to that the day yesterday was to dedicate those Because they were given to his museum by a family and the family was there
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Representatives the family were there the actually the wife of the man who put those together. He passed away, but the wife was there and Donated them to dr.
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Ball's ministry. And so that's what the whole day was about But I mean we we listened for four hours to different speakers and there were incredible people there
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I have the names in my phone, but I'm not gonna remember the names up here, but a Young man who was inspired when he was a child by dr
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Ball went on to get a PhD in archaeology and he's he spoke and he is
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Very famous now. He right now. He's doing a dig at Shiloh and Discovered the temple that was at Shiloh not not the one in Jerusalem, but the one that was in Shiloh and Discovered a pomegranate which was on the hymn of the garment of the high priest
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Another gentleman spoke who discovered one of the bells that was on the hymn of the garment of the high priest and Now he this young man that's doing the
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Shiloh exclamation thinks he has found jet Jezebel's bones at the gate Of the city of the city and it's just was incredible to hear these people
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Talk in fact that young man said he's got four more visits to that dig and it'll be over and he said any of us that want to go can go with him and help him
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In the dig in Jerusalem, I mean in Israel, so wouldn't that be interesting to do? What else we heard so so so much yeah, yeah, he found the bones of the
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Sacrificial animals and donated some of those to dr. Paul. In fact, I've held one of those in my hand and Which is quite an experience to think about that and Let's see.
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What else I was thinking of something else to write when you said that. Oh the the
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Not the well, but the pool of which pool was it he discovered
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Siloam There was a man an archaeologist from Israel who called in on zoom and spoke to us in Broken English.
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He's an Israeli PhD who discovered the pool of Siloam and he being a
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Jewish person Was talking about how it proved the New Testament in the book of John and that Jesus was there and when he hung up dr
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Ball said now, isn't that a miraculous thing to see this Jewish man? proclaiming the truth of the
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New Testament So it was a really a wonderful day very tiring We sat in the chair four hours pretty much three at least
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I don't know but it was The chair became very hard by the end of the day, but it was well worth it to see what we got to see so if you've never seen the creation evidence research museum in Lynn Rose Will arrange way for you to see that Lord willing
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All right, so that was what I did for my birthday and that was lots of fun Turn with me if you would to caution chapter 3 verse 19 and I'm excited about this message.
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This can be a life -changing message for your children or your grandchildren
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If you're listening today or any any of your friends children's or children's or grandchildren's
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If you ever help them out with this information All right. So let's pray Lord.
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We thank you for the service already and thank you for your presence with us in this place and Bless your word today.
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Amen Colossians 3 19 is what we talked about last Sunday a little bit mostly we talked about The wife but I told you it was really a message to the husbands if you remember but Verse 19 speaks directly to the husband husbands.
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Love your wives and be not bitter against them Which I think is an interesting exhortation.
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Don't you gentlemen be not bitter against the wife? I mean, what would your wife do to make you bitter? I guess can't think of anything
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You can't let bitterness creep in and we met Charlotte I never have we have this wonderful thing
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We discovered in the Bible and it I'll paraphrase it. It says when you have a fight
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Before you go to sleep that night spend a lot of time kissing and making up Is that how the verse goes?
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So that's what we've always done And so you'll never have bitterness if you make up the same day you have the fight that then we've always done that so That's a great thing
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Maybe that's what it means be not bitter against your wife make up You know may get the argument finished before you go to bed.
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Let not the Sun go down on your wrath or your anger It says love the wife
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Agape is the word for love. There are three words in Greek for that But that's agape which is the one that means that the love does not have anything to do with the object of your love
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It comes from the heart of the lover So the man has to be the great lover in the marriage and the woman is a responder
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The man is the initiator of the love and no matter how she treats the man
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The man still loves her the same now, that's godly love. You can only have that if you're a born -again, man
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But if you are born again You can be that kind of husband and I'm not gonna spend much more time on that because I spent more time on the men
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Last time than the women really so I'd like to go to the next verse verse 20
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And this is where I want to dwell today and maybe next Sunday because we don't have a lot of time today So verse 20 and 21 is what
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I want to deal with the Lord It says children Obey your parents in all things for this is well -pleasing unto the
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Lord now Children remember when we read something like this
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Don't just read it It's well -pleasing unto the Lord as if this is a Sunday school lesson or you know a religious thing
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This is talking about the creator of the universe the creator of everything that exists You wouldn't exist if God hadn't made you and it's saying that's who it pleases when you obey your parents the creator of everything that exists who could end everything that exists if he chose to but he won't because his character won't let him
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Because he loves us He loves us and that that part of his character won't let him just snuff humans out of existence now humans have observed
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It deserved that before right before the flood Right, and God didn't snuff out the entire race, but he could have but he didn't because of his love and so he loves us but that's who you're pleasing when you obey your parents is a
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God who is powerful enough to do to end all reality if he Wanted to except for his own reality But he doesn't choose to do that But that's who you please now see when there's someone that's that powerful
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You want a pleasing you want to be on the pleasing side of that person? You don't want him angry at you ever
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So children listen to me for a moment every child There is one
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Bible verse or two and I'm gonna read them to you in a minute that are the most important to in the whole
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Bible for you to know and to understand and We will read those in just a moment, in fact,
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I'll do it right now first one is in Exodus chapter 20 verse 12 For the children it says honor your mother and father
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That the your days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy
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God gives you Now some people interpret that to mean you would have a long life if you honor your mother and dad
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But it doesn't say that but it is teaching is that while you honor your mother and father On this earth, you would have a fulfilling blessed life
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Like Israel did when they were in the promised land That's what that verse means.
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However, there's another verse in Deuteronomy 516. It adds information to this
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It says honor your father and your mother as the Lord thy God hath commanded you
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That your days may be prolonged and that it may go well with thee in the land which the
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Lord has given you So that's two two things the second one about Being in the land that is a picture of having a blessed fruitful
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Successful wonderful life on this earth Like the jews did when they were in the promised land, but the phrase before it says so it may go well with you
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And that your days be prolonged that's talking about living a longer life living a long life and so Children need to remember that's the number one thing for you is to always honor and obey your mother and father now
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Let's talk about what it means. What does it mean to honor someone? Webster's dictionary says it means to regard or treat someone with admiration and respect and to live up to that person
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And little ones what does admiration means? It means you're supposed to admire your parents.
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What does that mean? You're supposed to Sort of be in all of them the stuff they know how to do the stuff they can do they can take care of you
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They can answer your questions They can protect you They can feed you they can
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Give you a house. Thanks. You're gonna make it a little cooler Cooler or warmer Yeah, thank you
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It's getting a little stuffy so they can everything that you need children your parents give that to you
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So you should be in all of them you should admire them that's what honor means But it also means to live up to them.
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Now. That's a great thing to think about When you get to be a teenager where you can drive your own car
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And go out and do what you want to do and your parents are not watching you There's a couple of things happening.
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Number one. God is watching you everywhere you go But number two the community watches you
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So you can do things out in the town you live in or in the community that would embarrass your parents or bring shame
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On them or their family by you doing something. That's not right to do And that is not honoring your parents because part of the word honor means to live up to your parents live up to their standard
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You know pay attention to how they think life should be lived and live up to that standard even when you leave the home
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So that's what the lord commands and also to obey. What does that one mean? I bet that one doesn't need the definition but i'll give you one to follow the commands or the guidance of your parents or to conform or comply with what they
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Tell you to do and what they want you to do So you got to obey them and honor them now that that is the whole role of children to bring
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Joy to the parents the grandparents to the family to others And to be a person that even other people enjoy being around They they enjoy it when you walk in the room if you're a child you walk in the room the people are happy you're there
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That is part of your role as a child. And of course, that's what your parents want for you now,
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I want to um I want to go back to um
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Well, let me speak to that just a second. I'm trying to get over here to the part I'm really wanting to get to but this is important Colossians 3 20 the chapter we're studying says children obey your parents in all things
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That doesn't leave anything out For this is well pleasing and to the creator of the universe
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The children should never rule the home Parents, you need to listen to this too because parents have especially
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This isn't written to grandparents. Never mind children Should never rule the home
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Either directly through demanding their way Or getting it from one spouse over the other
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Or indirectly through bad behavior Children should never rule the home
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We will inherit the land Maintain, which means a blessed life
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Maintain a strong country and a strong church with strong families only if children learn to obey
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That's what the bible says god gives Order to the family which in turn gives order to the whole of the community
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Whether they be churches or nations god order god's order is simple
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God is over all The father is over the wife and the children and the wife is over the children
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And the wife is the counselor of the father Any change in god's order of authority can and will destroy families and communities
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A church is nothing if its families are out of god's divine order a country is dying
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When it undermines the family Which is god's basic unit Now I say those things just to introduce
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What i'm about to teach from the scriptures So let's go to colossians chapter 3 verse 21 fathers
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And this is right after it says children obey your parents in all things For this is well pleasing to the creator of the universe
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Fathers provoke not your children to anger Lest they be discouraged Now i'm going to teach you something that when
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I was I don't feel that old. I'm just one year older than I was last year.
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I don't feel that old um when I was a child of five years old or a junior high age young person
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Or a high schooler or a college young man or a married young man All the way up through my life
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There was never any question in the world Except just a little little small minority of people
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Who had read a book by a man named benjamin spock? Which began and this was in the 50s the 1950s began to teach that you should not spank children.
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You should reason with them and A small minority minority of people bought into that because they knew that how they were raised with spankings
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And their parents were raised with rougher spankings and their parents even rougher spankings and I can go back in my history
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And think of that too. I was spanked with a nice wide paddle that my dad made
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That was wide enough to make a really loud noise, but not hurt very much, but it did hurt
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It had my name on it in huge letters and he called it the david board
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And he hung it on a nail by his chair at the dinner table and it stayed there my whole life And even when some of my jenny's life is probably still there
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But So that's how I was spanked He was spanked by his dad with a thing called a razor strap
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Which they don't make anymore But i've seen one it used to be one hanging
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Uh at my barber's shop and they're about this wide and they're rough because you sharpen a razor on it and those little roughness of there when you
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Whack it around the legs and rear end of a person stick to the butt
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Ox, I'll put it biblically the buttocks Charlotte's not even in the room.
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Hallelujah. But anyway, uh, and it hurts Now if you go back before that My grand my father's dad was spanked with switches and some of you were too
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Probably with switches that you had to go out and get it off the tree yourself and it would literally wrap around your body when it hit you
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And that created what they call the great generation that won world war ii
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Those are the people that were spanked like that Okay, so anyway, that's sort of the history of spankings
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And in the bible it talks about the rod and it's talking about a switch like that The in the hebrew just means a branch of a tree or something that you spank your child with now
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So dr. Spock says no, you never spank a child. Well, no one bought into that much
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And i'm so thankful that my parents didn't I doubt that I would be a preacher today had they bought into that Okay, because if you don't learn what the bible teaches about what i'm going to talk about the next two sundays um
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You will totally miss What the creator of the universe says about how to raise children?
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Into citizens that people enjoy being around and who are also powerful enough to change the country or their community for god
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And so god has one way now. How many of you remember the story about the ark of the covenant?
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Do you remember the story about how when the philistines? um Captured it and finally
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God made it possible for the israelis to get it back But When they went to get it, they got the wise idea instead of carrying it with these long
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Staves or sticks that went through both rings and the sides of it and men were supposed to hold the sticks and carry it
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And walk with it That's how god said to do it they decided to put it on a cart with wheels
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God didn't say do it that way and that Ark represented the presence of god by the way
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And so they were dealing with the presence of god in their own way Rather than the way god said to do it.
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This is called bible methodology It's as important as doctrine. It is doctrine
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It's a teaching of the bible is about how to do things god's way and it covers many areas of life including child rearing but they didn't do it god's way and they had this thing going down the road and one of the wheels hit a bump and that Cart almost fell off and a priest reached up and settled it and god struck him dead on the spot
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He was killed immediately by god because They had disobeyed god's way of doing it
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God doesn't do that every day doesn't have to he showed his mind on it right there So when we see biblical methodology and we thumb the nose at it
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And we say we have a better way because we're modern human beings and we can do this better than god says to do it
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Death can occur There are many ways in which death can occur In fact eternal death death can be the result of it.
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I will prove that to you over the next today and the next sunday As we go so this might be the most important sermon i've preached all year
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So Let's start with this idea of fathers provoke not your children to anger lest they be discouraged uh, the word provoke is is a greek word erathidzo
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And it means to stimulate The child so fathers were not to do something that would stimulate the child to be angry or discouraged
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Now it comes from a root word in the greek eris, which means to quarrel or to wrangle
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And it can be translated and has been in the new testament contention debate strife and variance
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Now variance in webster's dictionary means The fact quality or state of being variable, but that's not the meaning of it in this context
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So the second definition is the meaning And I quote the fact or state of being in disagreement dissension or dispute
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Now, let me suggest something and you tell me if this is logical Would you agree that the only way that you could come into contention debate
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Or variance with a child would be to be speaking with them, but disagreeing with what they think
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You you can't have a quarrel without two people disagreeing So the thing that create and i'm not saying the only thing one thing that creates that situation with a child is when you reason
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With them and they don't agree with you Now you can't always avoid that right you can't
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I mean you can't avoid that But you certainly don't want that to be the main way that you discipline a child
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If you know it has the possibility of creating causing you to disobey a clear imperative
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In the scripture in other words a command of god for the fathers not to provoke your child to anger
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Now not only to anger and Let let's remember now that this word provoke is talking about don't create wrangling
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Which is generally verbal uh contention debate you understand and then it says
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When you do that, especially if it's not done with much wisdom, then you do create anger
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And then this other word is discouragement you discourage the child and you make the child angry that is god's word on it
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God said that Now when you read books by spock and i'm going to read something to you by a more modern individual here in a minute uh but When you read words that they write they don't consult god on those words
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They are consulting their human brain. It's called humanism They think that all wisdom comes from within the mind of man and that man is both the creator and The sustainer of everything that is and man is god.
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That's a humanist Usually they're atheistic or certainly agnostic And most of the time people like that write the psychology books on child rearing today that the young people are reading
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And it goes all the way back to the 50s when spock wrote the first one That's the first one ever written like that No one ever thought that's how you should raise children until he wrote that book and he was a phd psychologist
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And that's all he was he knew nothing about the bible didn't know god You can put him up there with darwin
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You know, uh, or any of the others but When you look at what god said command do not stimulate your child
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To wrangling or having contention or debate or strive for variance because you will take the child to anger and discouragement when you do that and god said you just disobeyed me and you need to You need to confess that to me as sin and you need to ask me to forgive you first and then let's deal with the child
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All right. Now I want to read you something from dr
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James dobson if any of you heard of him. He was very very big when
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I was raising jenny katie and paul uh I think he may have passed away this year.
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Is that true? Just this year though, right or recently Do you know when?
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Okay, that's what I thought Because in my new book that's about to go to the publisher monday,
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I think well, it's already there But we'll see if it's ready There is information that i'm talking about today in the book
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And I was quoting dobson as if he were still alive and he was when I wrote that part of the book but by the time it's published he isn't but I want to read what he said about this and he i'm going to read let me tell you what before I read it
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Let me see if you think he's qualified to talk about things like this Let me give you some of his credentials.
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Dr. Dobson earned a phd from the university of southern california and holds 18 honorary doctoral degrees
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He is the author of more I see my book should say was but it says is I'm quoting this from my book, but he is uh
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He's the author of more than 70 books dedicated to the preservation of the family Dr.
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Dobson served as an associate clinical professor of pediatrics at the university of southern california school of medicine for 14 years
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And on the attending staff of children's hospital in los angeles for 17 years in the divisions of child development and medical genetics
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He has advised five u .s. Presidents and served on eight national commissions
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Dr. Dobson has been married to his wife shirley for 64 years. They have two grown children and two grandchildren
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Now here is what he says i'm going to quote corporal punishment that means a spanking
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Corporal punishment when used lovingly and properly Is beneficial to a child
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Because it is in harmony with nature itself. I never expected to read this when I read this
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I went Oh, where's he going with that? Because he's kind of a christian bible person, too He's talking about Nature He's talking about how it is in the world
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But I said, okay i'm going to keep reading here and when I did I went wow, this is amazing, but he says this consider the purpose
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So he's just looking at a human From a biological viewpoint here how god made us.
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All right as humans He says Consider the purpose of minor pain in a child's life and how he learns from it suppose two -year -old peter
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Pulls on a tablecloth And with it comes a vase of roses that cracks him between the eyes
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From this pain he learns that it is dangerous to pull on the tablecloth unless he knows what sits on it
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When he touches a hot stove He quickly learns that heat must be respected
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If he learns to be if he lives to be 100 years old He will never again reach out and touch a red hot coals of fire or a stove
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The same lesson is learned when he pulls the doggie's tail and promptly gets a neat row of teeth marks
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Across the back of his hand or when he climbs out of his high chair when mom isn't looking and discovers all about gravity
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During the childhood years. He typically accumulates minor bumps bruises scratches and burns each one teaching him about life's boundaries
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Do these experiences make him a violent person no now he is answering
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Secular humanist people who are starting to write books about child rearing who were writing in their books that when you spank a
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Child you will create a violent human being And they were just stating that as fact
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Well, he just used as a common sense examples to prove that's not true You don't create violent humans by all these things where they receive pain
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It teaches them, you know how to live in this world No, the pain associated with these events teaches him to avoid making the same mistakes again
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God created this mechanism as a valuable vehicle for instruction
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When a parent administers a reasonable spanking in response to willful disobedience
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A similar non -verbal message is given to the child non -verbal is key here
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He must understand that there are not only dangers in the physical world to be avoided He should also be wary of dangers in his social world such as defiance sassiness selfishness temper tantrums
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Behavior that puts his life in danger that which hurts others That which hurts others, etc
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The minor pain associated with this deliberate misbehavior tends to inhibit it
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Just as discomfort works to shape behavior in the physical world neither conveys hatred
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Neither conveys hatred neither results in rejection neither makes the child more violent
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Now that was his position and he created this marvelous institution
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That is still in existence today after his death, however He gave up control of it several years ago
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And the organization has changed so now i'm going to read to you from A man named, uh, let me see.
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I think the first part of this is over here. I might have gotten this out of order Let me look Dr. Huerta, but i'm sure i've got his first name somewhere
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Yeah, I got I got these out of order. Apologize for that Okay, there's what
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I just read. All right, I guess that is all of it um, okay So I don't unfortunately
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I don't have the man's first name, but i'll give it to you in a minute I'm sure i'll run across it here. So there's this man named.
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Dr. Huerta who now runs, uh The organization that dobson started
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And let me quote him on what he believes about spankings today Okay When we use our words and actions to guide teach
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Encourage and correct children learn to self -discipline and self -correct
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That's his first statement about child rearing With focus on the family
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Let me say it again, but this summarizes any book
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I could read in modern In the modern world about how to raise children is on this theme and this has been it for for a good two decades
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When we use our words And our actions to guide teach and encourage and correct children learn to self -discipline and self -correct
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Sounds nice, doesn't it? I wonder if that came from god's word Anyone have a guess on that?
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Do you think god ever said that here's how you raise a child
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Speak to them and get them to self -correct That'll be better this man goes this doctor's phd goes on and says um
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Into the modern mantra of reason with your child through your words only Never hit we don't hit children is a nice phrase that they like to say
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Of course he goes on by throwing in i'm, sorry, this is me of course when he says
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You know use your words and actions as a guide Let me let me point out what he's doing to the young parents
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And this makes me angry as an older gentleman a grandfather to think about young people like like some some of my children
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Just now having babies and so forth could read something like this And and what it is doing is patronizing them
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But also shaming them because when you say that you've got to use your words and your actions
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That means you've got to live perfectly. You've got to live so well in front of that child
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That just by speaking to them. They'll want to be like you so now It comes down to the failure of your lifestyle if if the child doesn't turn out well because you weren't good enough
36:37
In front of them for them to just go by your words and turn into a nice person
36:45
So now a guilt a measure of subliminal guilt has been put into the mind of the young person reading this the parent into thinking well my soul
36:53
I mean If the child sees how i'm living this could present a problem Well, the truth is that's true, isn't it?
37:00
If you use that method if your method is going to be for your lifestyle and your words to be all that corrects them
37:05
You better live a pretty strong life I mean what if you're not even providing enough food or not, you know
37:12
The house isn't all that nice and the car is not all that great and your kid sees that and they become junior high age
37:18
And you're teaching them by your actions and your words and they're not that you know, they're not that impressed with you
37:26
How well do you think that method is going to work with that child So I mean, this is so subliminal when they throw these words like this in here and these are ivory tower people obviously, you wonder if they've even raised a child but But when we or if they were even raised wait,
37:42
I guess they had to be when you use our words and actions to guide them, okay, so you know he goes into this idea of reasoning with the child and now the parent has to feel
37:54
Incapable of correcting properly for every father and mother knows that he or she is imperfect Young children will not learn to self -correct period
38:04
They will not learn to self -correct Period it's not going to happen um
38:13
So We'll see why but certainly they're not going to learn through the parents words alone
38:21
Yes, it helps if they have if the parents have wisdom from scripture no doubt And words do help in child rearing
38:30
But not only words If you have only words the child will grow increasingly rebellious selfish and angry with age
38:38
And lose respect and honor for the parents as they become preteen and teenage years
38:45
It's in the genes and it's called the sin nature The bible says that words in other words reproof that's words
38:55
Alone won't work Here is what does work proverbs 29 15 the rod
39:04
And reproof give wisdom to the child the rod and words
39:11
Give wisdom to the child God said that That is left out of the modern books.
39:18
They leave out the rod part and they say that's ridiculous. It'll cause them to be You know
39:24
Unbalanced and it'll cause might cause them to be violent later in life But god who made every child that's ever been born says you need both
39:35
You need the rod and you need reproof from wise words from the parents in order to create wisdom in the child
39:42
Wise words are important, but without the rod accompanying the accompanying the words When rebellion disobedience and lying shows its ugly face the child will not respond well over time now
39:56
It's kind of fascinating to me that uh focus on the family is teaching that way now
40:05
But uh Oh, here's his name. Dr. Danny where the vice president of parenting and youth with focus on the family says this
40:13
One thing is for sure If your family chooses to discipline through spanking It needs to be the most infrequently used tool
40:25
Okay James dobson wasn't dead when this man wrote this but he had he had given up control of his
40:34
Organization which he should not have done You should duplicate delegate, but he wasn't a businessman.
40:40
So he didn't know that principle I know it you have to duplicate yourself and your people at your place of work
40:46
Which his was focused on the family you duplicate james dobson in all of them Then you delegate and then you die and then it keeps going
40:55
When I die, I hope i'm not a prophet but when I die This church will go just as it's going only better right
41:07
So He didn't do that. I love dr. Dobson He did not do that and when I read this makes me angry in my book i'm going to call for this man
41:15
And I hope enough people read it where he'll get back to him to apologize to dobson, which is now impossible
41:22
But in the book, I already wrote that you need to apologize to him So here's what he says it should be the most infrequently used tool in a comprehensive discipline toolkit
41:32
Does that sound good? I'm going to give you a discipline toolkit and i'm a phd
41:38
And it's comprehensive And spanking is in it, but you never use it
41:44
Because it's the least important Parenting is about influence not control
41:50
You never want I'm I'm paraphrasing a little bit. He said Parenting is about influence not control.
41:57
This man is either an absolute idiot or has never raised a child or seen a grandchild Because it's all about control when they're little now in my book
42:06
I only address children from zero to five years old. I don't even discuss how to parent
42:12
Teenagers because I don't have a clue how And neither does god
42:21
It's not in the bible Okay, so, uh anyway
42:29
Yeah, you're right you corrected me it is in the bible Thank you. Matt. It is there
42:35
Lord, I should not make a joke at your expense and I try to never do that. Forgive me parenting is not
42:42
Sorry parenting is about influence not control It's really hard for me to read this without either laughing or crying and i'm not sure what to do
42:50
It is not about being perfect but about growing together See see how it's going to bring in the actions of the parents so we have to be growing to be a better child, too
43:03
While we teach our child to be better. We have to grow with them And then our words and actions will turn them into spectacular citizens like the ones we see on the street rooting for hamas today
43:15
Not even knowing right from wrong Perhaps could be one set of children raised this way
43:21
Growing up together bringing out the best in our kids, which requires us bringing out the best in ourselves
43:30
Certain amount of truth to that and satan always gives about 95 truth, but that five percent is a killer
43:38
Ultimately, we want kids to learn how to discipline themselves I would love to draw a car.
43:44
Dave. Could you do that for me in my book a cartoon of a child spanking himself? I would love to put that in there
43:50
If you'll draw it, I will put it in the book, but you got to get it done by tomorrow ultimately
43:56
What a picture that would be ultimately we want kids To learn how to discipline themselves
44:03
When we use our words and actions to guide teach encourage and correct children learn to self -discipline and self -correct
44:12
That's a valuable lifelong tool and it helps kids tune in To who god designed them to be ephesians 2 10
44:22
He had the audacity to put a bible verse in this stuff. He just said Very deceptive, wouldn't you say because everything he said is antichrist
44:32
Everything he just said is antichrist. It goes against what jesus said And then he says a bible verse now if you get my book
44:40
I go out and I quote Ephesians 2 10 I said show me where that has anything to do with child rearing It has nothing to do with child rearing but what's interesting and I didn't put that in here
44:49
So I can't I can't remember it. I wrote that part of the book a while back But I actually do go into ephesians chapter 2 and quote there's a part in there about child rearing
45:00
And it contradicts him, but he didn't use that one It's fascinating to see how these people lie and use the bible to do it.
45:10
Dr Dobson's organization was founded upon the biblical principles for the family And above dr
45:17
Huerta says that spanking needs to be the most infrequently used tool in the comprehensive discipline toolkit
45:23
And here's what god says proverbs 13 24 Listen carefully
45:30
He that spareth his rod hates His son now, let me ask you if you want to use something um
45:39
Infrequently do you think a good synonym for that might be to use spankings sparingly would that be fair?
45:48
Yes, or no Okay. So dr. Huerta the phd says to Sparingly use a spanking god says he that spares the rod hates his child
46:03
You gotta pick who you think is wiser God or a phd humanist now, he goes on and god says this but he that loves his child
46:15
Chastens him be times, which is an old english word which means early he that Sparingly spanks hates the child.
46:25
He that does it B times loves the child now. We got to figure out what b times means don't we?
46:35
Well, let's figure out what chastened means first Because there are those who will argue well, it doesn't mean to hit
46:43
It just means like to verbally rebuke as to what the word chastened in the greek means Not true the same people that lie about everything.
46:50
I just said will lie to you about what the bible says, too so chastened
46:56
Um comes from the hebrew word. I'm, sorry the greek word. I'm, sorry. This is hebrew uh mukar
47:03
And it comes from a root word which means literally to chasten with blows now, you know what a blow is like Only you don't do that.
47:13
You do it with a rod. It's talking about hitting the child It never meant
47:20
Rebuke it. I mean maybe in some context you might use that hebrew word, but in a normal context it means to chasten with blows
47:28
Uh, we know to take that literal Uh that meaning due to the use of the word rod in the context
47:36
So if god's going to use the word rod and use the word well car um in the same context of chastening
47:47
Then we know it means to chasten with a rod because the verse says so so that's what the root meaning of the word means
47:52
Anyway, so liars are liars and they can be easily exposed now Spare if not, what is the word spare meaning in the hebrew?
48:03
Kossak means to restrain or refrain by implication to refuse
48:09
In english, we would say to act sparingly, but sometimes it means just don't spank at all Or if you refrained or restrained a number of times you like our doctor says to do then you're disobeying god
48:22
So to spare the rod means to refrain from using the rod of correction or to to refrain from spanking
48:29
Uh and to only spank sparingly thus god says the parent who does not spank as often as necessary hates his son or daughter
48:38
But he that loves the child spanks often Because the word betimes means early.
48:45
We'll talk about that a little bit As necessary And if he doesn't do that, he hates the child.
48:53
So we're supposed to spank often It is the opposite of sparingly in the hebrew
48:59
And it says early and that can mean while the child is still young You want to do it between the by about the time they can sit in a high chair
49:12
You don't always do a full spanking at that young of an age But you can spat their little arm or their little thigh or something if they misbehave let them know
49:20
There's their consequence And then the spanking start pretty soon after that All the way up to the year or five years old
49:27
But if you do it right by the time they're four they you won't hardly have to spank them again Depending on the child and every child is different But a lot of them you never spank again if you do it do this like god says to do it
49:39
So early means while they're very young Early can also mean as soon as the child misbehaves
49:46
Because the closer you do the spanking to the misbehavior in their little mind they will associate it better and that That's how it should be done.
49:54
Like you take them right then now if you're at walmart You don't want to get the kid taken away from you in our society.
50:00
So Take them out to the car Um, or if your kids are us like I was with katie that day
50:06
She thought I wouldn't spank her in there. I took her to the car She didn't hardly ever get another one after that And charlotte said that was her last spanking
50:17
I don't know about that. But um so um
50:24
Early means, you know while they're young also immediately connected to the misbehavior
50:29
The younger they are the more important this is in reality in other words the younger they are the more important it is to Spank immediately and associate it with what they just did as they get a little older.
50:40
They'll remember what they did You can get home from work and do it and it works right so I know for a fact that works when they're older so The younger they are the more important this is in reality if dr
50:55
Huerta's advice is followed then according to the bible and god who inspired the bible parents will unwittingly show hate to their child
51:03
By making spanking the most infrequently used tool in a comprehensive discipline toolkit
51:12
Sadly, I know where he gets his toolkit from It is not the bible.
51:18
It is not god, but it is rather the little g god of this world Second timothy 3 5
51:27
Chapter 3 verse 1 I should say second timothy 3 1 says this no also in the last days perilous times will come
51:38
For men shall be lovers of their own selves covetous boasters proud blasphemers disobedient to parents
51:49
Unthankful unholy without natural affection. They don't know the sexes. They don't know that there's only two
51:55
They don't know which one they're supposed to be with That is a sign of the end times ladies and gentlemen There's never been a time when
52:04
I was a young boy, even when I was a young man and taught the youth Uh in our church at that time
52:11
I would teach them about the signs of the second coming in the rapture And I would tell them
52:18
How could children disobeying parents be a sign because don't you think children have always naturally disobeyed parents?
52:25
Would you agree with that? So how can that be a sign of the end times? Well, because it was never clinical
52:31
It was never where you gave drugs for it It was never So out of control that I can see big strong men
52:39
And have seen it many times in walmart with little bitty girls Who are running that man around that store and making a fool out of it?
52:49
That was not that way when I was a child Spock's book hadn't didn't sell that many copies yet not enough to affect the world, but now it's that way it is a sign
53:00
When you see children misbehaving in a restaurant where no one can enjoy their meal
53:06
It was not that way when my dad was a kid It wasn't that way when I was a kid.
53:12
I sat there really quiet and my kids did too and my grandkids do
53:17
Especially when i'm eating with them Right Yeah, they know Yeah, finn went.
53:24
Yep I bet we have fun. Don't we finn? And gentlemen, we have fun
53:30
It's fun when grandpa gets to do all the talking I'm teasing. Okay So now we have these signs
53:40
Disobedient to parents listen to this unthankful Unholy without natural affection
53:49
Queer right Raising little queers If this gets out i'd be in big trouble, right ben
54:01
Fix that when you do the tape change it into sodomites without natural affection truce breakers false accusers
54:13
Incontinent Fierce Like the young man had just shot charlie kirk
54:22
Incontinent fierce despisers of those that are good I've never seen a better man than that young man
54:30
I thought I was over it
54:37
Traitors heady That means they think they know everything High -minded lovers of pleasures more than lovers of god
54:48
Having a form of godliness but denying the power thereof from such Stay away from them
54:56
So naturally false teachers like mr. Dr. Huerta False teachers like that which jesus said there would be many in the last days.
55:07
They will be responsible For teaching young parents the exact opposite way to train up their children
55:15
From the way god says to do it. They will be held to task at the great white throne judgment seat someday for that then dr
55:24
Huerta parents parents What he learned in his doctoral program when he says this
55:30
Parenting is about influence not control If he convinces a young couple to not keep their child under control.
55:39
He just destroyed that child and the family unit The bible teaches the opposite self control is one of the most important attributes of a christian
55:48
And it does not come naturally. In fact is a fruit of the spirit It doesn't come naturally.
55:54
You can't teach a child to have self -control. You can help him You can discipline him and it will look like he's got it better while he's in front of you
56:03
But unless he gets born again someday and filled with and dwelt and filled with the holy spirit He'll never really have self -control.
56:10
But still we're responsible as parents to teach him. There are repercussions when you lack self -control pain
56:16
You will have pain in this world When you are rebellious a liar
56:23
Are disobedient to the authorities that exist in the world You will suffer pain and if you don't teach that child that he is not going to self -discipline and self raise himself
56:36
No child is born With self -control half of the bible is about man and his sin problems including lack of self -control which
56:47
Self -control is a fruit of the spirit and thus it's godly And the lack of it is ungodly and then selfishness and pride and the other half of the bible talks about God's plan of salvation to save poor fallen sinful men and women and children
57:04
So the whole bible is about this And the whole the whole of the bible is contradicted by these people that write these insane books that young people are reading all around you
57:16
And they're destroying your nation So you should have a say in it because their kid's gonna walk with your kid
57:23
Their kid might shoot your kid In school, they're going into schools with guns now
57:29
Sixth graders seventh eighth graders and killing little children that never do you do you think for a minute that when charlotte and I started dating
57:37
That we were afraid when we went to a movie that we would be shot and killed That we were afraid in the parking lot at the north park.
57:45
We would be shot and killed That we were afraid when we came to church that we had to lock the doors and be armed
57:53
No, what changed the child rearing? That's not the only thing but I will guarantee you these books
58:03
Have made a difference For satan in this world and you don't need to worry about guns if you raise them in the lord
58:11
They'll use that to protect their families But when you give guns to kids that are raised in a school with no 10 commandments and no bible and no prayer
58:18
You just ask him for a killing And we're getting it every day every day almost
58:25
Thanks to people like dr. Huerta And so The bible teaches the opposite You know parenting is about influence not control look at proverbs 22 15
58:39
Foolishness Is bound in the heart of a child But the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
58:48
Does that sound like god says he can self -correct? Foolishness is bound to his heart
58:57
Little children will do the most foolish things you will ever see they will hurt themselves and other children and you
59:05
Without even a thought because god said when they're children young children, they are foolish
59:12
And you drive the foolishness away from them by spanking them
59:18
God says the rod of correction. It's interesting. They will come in and say that word correction in the hebrew means to use your words
59:27
What does the word rod mean in front of it then? So maybe you use your words and your rod, but you don't ever use just the words, okay
59:35
It will drive foolishness from them. Do you want your children? To be wise do you want them when they are a teenager in that car by themselves to have a certain measure of wisdom?
59:47
They don't have it all yet, but they have enough where they're not going to hurt somebody else or themselves with that car
59:53
Well, if you didn't spank them, you don't have a very good chance Of that turning out very well God says the child needs help
01:00:03
He cannot and will not self -correct His and her little heart is full of foolishness
01:00:11
Which can cause harm to himself or hurt her friend or sibling or even her parent
01:00:17
It requires a spanking from a parent or grandparent Not a self -spanking
01:00:25
To drive foolishness from the child you have god's word on that and I can stand on that here this morning you
01:00:35
God further rebukes. Dr Huerta's idea of self -correction in proverbs chapter 29 verse 15, which says the rod and reproof give wisdom
01:00:48
But a child left to himself bringeth his mother's shame
01:00:54
Now, what do you think it means when you you're teaching the young people you need to teach them to self -correct
01:01:00
You're leaving the child to himself Direct Antichrist direct opposite of god almighty's
01:01:10
Instruction on how to raise these children that he put in your womb. You didn't make that baby.
01:01:16
Ladies and gentlemen I hate the way hollywood throws out. Well, let's make a baby in the movie right that humans can't do that Now I know god works together with us, right
01:01:28
Is that true you get quiet in here am I too rambunctious this morning You can't make a baby
01:01:36
You're made out of dirt dirt is not a living material without god energizing you and there has to be a spark from god in that in that egg
01:01:45
I won't go any further with that, but there has to be a spark from god for life to begin in that cell
01:01:51
And god made the baby And god is the one who's telling us they're not going to self -correct
01:02:00
The rod and reproof from the parent is what gives that child wisdom and drives the foolishness from the child over a period of time with much patience by the parents but left to himself
01:02:12
To self -correct he will bring his mother shame First the rod is a switch or a paddle for spanking reproof just adds emphasis to the importance of spanking
01:02:25
Because in the hebrew it means chastisement normally So both the rod or the paddle
01:02:34
You know number one when the child sees it it has an effect Why do you think my dad put my name on it and stuck it at the breakfast table by his chair?
01:02:44
Just seeing the rod had an effect It kept me from getting a whole lot of spankings Thank the lord
01:02:53
But so so just seeing it, you know does make a difference and the spanking itself feeling
01:03:02
The pain and correction of the chastisement Also teaches the child wisdom it associates pain
01:03:11
With the misbehavior and i'll promise you someday when he grows up and goes to prison for something He did he's gonna associate the pain with bad thing.
01:03:19
He did it's too late though You ruined your child Teach all of this will teach wisdom to the child if you use the proper spanking and chastisement children
01:03:33
Not only learn from positive reinforcement And the bible teaches this now listen to me.
01:03:38
I can't preach everything about child rearing in one morning the bible talks a lot about positive reinforcement
01:03:46
Blessing the child with good things when they do good speaking nicely and warmly to the child and praising them when they do good
01:03:53
And i've seen men who grew up where their dad was never satisfied with anything that they did They just couldn't do it right and they sometimes it affects them their whole life
01:04:01
So that's not good either So we have to use wise talking to children as well as spankings.
01:04:08
They both go together And that's why it says the rod and reproof give wisdom. That means wise reproof from the parents now as parents
01:04:17
You won't always know how to do it. You'll have to pray while you're doing it And that's good because that's relying on the holy spirit
01:04:24
To guide you as you give the reproof and the proper words that you need to give to that child so Uh, we need all of this you need positive reinforcement, but also negative reinforcement, which is the spanking
01:04:38
And you know, I studied secular psychology in the pre -med program at baylor
01:04:44
And abnormal psychology and Back, then we studied skinner.
01:04:50
It was called operant conditioning and the whole thing was about All kind of research that he did mostly with animals
01:04:56
And he found that the most effective way to teach an animal To do what you want them to do is to use both positive reinforcement, which give them a little treat when they do it, right?
01:05:07
and negative Which is sometimes was a spark of electricity when they did it wrong
01:05:14
That was the most effective way to get obedience in an animal well today you have
01:05:21
Even I I get a kick out of I happen to have known some people that are horse people like they raise horses
01:05:27
And they got two groups and they hate each other one group says you never strike a horse Well, that's wrong.
01:05:33
You do strike you have to have negative reinforcement And the other group says yeah you strike him you tie him up make him fall down on the ground and leave him tied up well
01:05:43
If that's all you do you're gonna make a mean horse, right? God's god has the answer for everything in the bible.
01:05:49
It's both but even the secular psychologists of the day in 1972 taught
01:05:55
It correctly. Maybe he was a christian the skinner's famous even if they still they still study skinner if you take psychology in college, but Uh, it's both positive and negative in other words
01:06:09
Spanking when you do it wrong positive when you do it, right? And god says the same thing in the bible secondly the child left to himself
01:06:18
The self -discipline and self -correction of dr Huerta and the modern focus on the family brings his mother to shame
01:06:25
God says why because the child has not been taught to honor his mother So obeying her becomes unimportant to the child
01:06:36
The child then disrespects all authority and ends up in jail or dead or responsible for someone else's death or downfall
01:06:46
I think we're getting an object lesson back there. Maybe The lord rebukes dr
01:06:51
Huerta's false teaching by specifically denying his humanistic idea That he wants kids to learn how to discipline themselves and to learn to self -discipline
01:07:01
For which I feel he should apologize To the organization and to the man.
01:07:08
Dr. Dobson, which he can't do now God says the child requires a spanking and reproof from his parents because he cannot self -correct
01:07:16
The very sin nature for which he or she is receiving the spanking will not desire to self -correct especially at a young age
01:07:24
Things were different at focus on the family when dr. Dobson was its head and I started out reading that so The proper spanking has a wonderful way of correcting it the child causing the child to have proper fear
01:07:40
And all of his parents and to feel honor and respect for them
01:07:45
The spanking clears the slate And restores fellowship with the parent and It A timeout doesn't do that And I don't have time to discuss timeouts, but next sunday
01:08:00
The whole service is going to be on timeouts I'm, not i'm not kidding The whole thing i'm going to read you i'm going to read you some things that these very idiots
01:08:09
That teach you to reason with a child And they don't know the bible They don't know god
01:08:15
But they don't even agree with timeouts and they show that the the harm that it does to kids from their books
01:08:21
The same books that are the guys saying reason with the child The harm that it can do to a kid i'm going to read that to you right out of their book next time
01:08:29
But then i'm going to show you what god says about it and i'll tell you what god says about it He says fathers don't provoke your kids to anger
01:08:38
When you put a child in a room by himself And you close that door and forbid him to come out.
01:08:47
You just put him in solitary confinement That is what you did And he knows it
01:08:52
And he deals with that with his little immature mind in a way that you won't believe but i'm going to read it to the results
01:08:58
In studies of the psychology of what that does to a child next sunday But then i'm going to show you what god says about it.
01:09:04
I already told you he says don't do it Don't provoke your child to anger like that.
01:09:09
Don't do something that caused them to honor you less That caused them to respect you less
01:09:15
To put them by themselves after they've done something bad and have them deal with it
01:09:21
Yeah, you just put them in there to self -correct. Well, it isn't going to happen It's going to make them think you don't love them
01:09:28
And studies show that the studies show they think you don't love them. I'm not making this up These are scientific studies just like the ones that say don't spank
01:09:37
The problem is both groups don't have the answer because neither has the bible Neither knows god, but I do so I got the answer
01:09:46
And you do too if you have a bible and I just wanted to encourage you young parents Fight against that that the stuff that's being written in these books.
01:09:54
You have to bear up against it You can't believe everything you read even if they said they did studies because I can show you studies that show the harm that it does
01:10:02
So who are you going to believe? Which study you can't believe either one of them just get you one of these
01:10:08
And read every look up the word rod and read every verse. It says look up the word correction
01:10:15
Read every word. It says god will tell you how to raise a child and he always puts the words in there with it
01:10:24
And I can help you understand a little bit about the proper way to spank but i'll tell you right now it's not difficult
01:10:31
You sit down By yourself, you never do in front of other kids if you can help it And you get them to tell you why they're getting it that is like first john 1 9
01:10:42
They're learning to confess their sin. They need to name the sin they did And then you tell them that god
01:10:50
Told you you have to spank them and you blame that on god That way they won't disrespect you or hate you or think you don't love them.
01:10:57
You say look I don't even want to spank you And they'll remind you later. Oh, it's gonna hurt me worse than you.
01:11:02
None of us believe that right guys My we didn't believe it but it's true, isn't it? We found out it's true when we became parents
01:11:08
But you tell them god told me this is what I have to do because you either lied or you were disrespectful or disobedient or um
01:11:19
Willfully, uh, what's the word i'm looking for? No Never mind, you you know what the things are
01:11:29
Rebellion is what i'm looking for And so god tells me I have to spank you so i'm gonna spank you
01:11:35
And let me tell you this you're gonna stand up and bend over and put your hands on the couch And you're not going to wiggle because I don't want to hurt you
01:11:43
I want to hit you right where god put the place which is your hiney And that's where i'm going to spank you and if you wiggle and you move
01:11:49
I won't stop i'll just keep spanking If you scream i'll keep spanking you may cry, but you may not scream
01:11:57
And I will just keep spanking if you move around if you move your hands off of that couch. I will keep spanking
01:12:03
And you do Now there's some tricks you don't have to hit his heart every time
01:12:09
Just make it sound loud But make sure you put enough pops in there where it hurts
01:12:15
Because pain is what makes it work. God says so So that's that's how you do it.
01:12:20
Then when you're done. How do you know when you're done? Because they go limp now see these young guys writing these books the phds will say oh you never want to break a child's will
01:12:30
That's exactly what you're doing because his will was to disrespect or to lie or to be rebellious
01:12:37
And you want to break that will so wait till they go limp and they will When they go limp you stop and you set them in your lap and you hug them and let them cry quietly
01:12:48
And after they and you pat them on the back and after they're done you say, okay, we're gonna pray I'm gonna pray first And ask the lord, you know to forgive you and because you know, you you know
01:13:01
You did wrong and then I want you to pray and tell the lord you're sorry And then you do that make sure they pray out loud.
01:13:08
I remember one time fin may remember this but I remember one time fin and I had a time together and he
01:13:15
He prayed real quiet like And I couldn't hear it And I said
01:13:22
I think the lord heard you but I want to hear you too and then he prayed out loud And then you hug the child and then you say now that is behind us.
01:13:30
No pun intended That is behind us We're gonna go play and you go play with them
01:13:37
Right, then you don't go do something else you go do something with the child play with them. And what does that teach him?
01:13:44
first john 1 9 It's all gone now You are forgiven We have restored fellowship and if you spank a child that way
01:13:53
They will grow up and be a good citizen All right, so let's end we don't we don't have any more time
01:13:58
I went way over time, but I didn't get started till 20 till that ain't my fault. So let's Let's stand and pray next time.
01:14:05
We will talk about the time out and everything the bible says about it Lord, thank you for your word.
01:14:12
Thank you for how it corrects us adults and how it is Your truth and how you touch on the methodologies for almost every
01:14:22
Thing in life if we look deeply enough in your word, we will see it Help us to follow your methods not ours and certainly not some humanists out there who write books
01:14:33
But don't know you And lord, thank you for the comfort of your word and even of your chastisement on us when we do wrong
01:14:42
It lets us know that we're your children And that you love us and so lord go with us into our time of fellowship and bless the food.