Colossians 3:19-21 - Biblical Childrearing, Pt. 1

Good morning, we had. This season reminded me of brother Bill because his birthday was on the third. He's in heaven now, but I was thinking about his Sunday school teaching Yesterday. I was just thinking about him miss him but he was a really good Sunday school teacher fun to listen to for 13 years and.

And same amount of years Otis taught exactly same years, yeah, and and so today's brother Paul's birthday, so Yesterday was mine. So this is the time Jesus was born and it's either on the third fourth or fifth.

We're not whoever's at the pulpit that's the date so. Right now he was born on the fourth. Sometime in October most likely though. Sometime in the fall.

So.

It's a great time of year. I love the fall weather. We have here in Texas the ragweed not so much but The weather is wonderful. So we did have a great day yesterday with dr. Charles Carl Ball and He's quite an amazing man.

I've watched him build that Creation evidence museum from a small trailer house To what it is today, which is an amazing museum full of so many antiquities and scientific things that talk about the pre-flood conditions and The probably the most accurate model of Noah's Ark in the world and now just presented yesterday for the first time a 3d printed replica of Solomon's Temple, I Think it was Solomon's Temple.

Yeah, it was one of the temples so Really incredible and I was there Oh month or so ago, maybe six weeks ago probably a little longer than that actually and There were only two people that built that model and it's huge.

It's I don't know.

It's as big as.

If you just took this little part of the platform, it's that big and So it was a woman and her son that built it and the son did all the 3d printing. Little little bitty blocks were the blocks that go in and she hand painted them all to make them look real it's really phenomenal and So it's a place if you've not been there you need to go.

If you're gonna go ask me to go with you because I always like to go and I'll introduce you to dr Baugh if he happens to be there the day we're there, but it's he's an incredible man. I didn't realize he was 89 because his energy is what they all the yeah, the he's 89 years old and you know as such energy you would not know it, but He yeah, he's one of only five Entities in the world that have the entire Old Testament in ancient Hebrew scrolls.

And so the day was to that the day yesterday was to dedicate those Because they were given to his museum by a family and the family was there Representatives the family were there the actually the wife of the man who put those together.

He passed away, but the wife was there and Donated them to dr. Ball's ministry. And so that's what the whole day was about. But I mean we we listened for four hours to different speakers and there were incredible people there I have the names in my phone, but I'm not gonna remember the names up here, but a Young man who was inspired when he was a child by dr Ball went on to get a PhD in archaeology and he's he spoke and he is Very famous now.

He right now. He's doing a dig at Shiloh and Discovered the temple that was at Shiloh not not the one in Jerusalem, but the one that was in Shiloh and Discovered a pomegranate which was on the hem of the garment of the high priest another gentleman spoke who discovered one of the bells that was on the hem of the garment of the high priest and Now he this young man that's doing the Shiloh excavation thinks he has found jet Jezebel's bones at the gate Of the city of the city and it's just was incredible to hear these people Talk.

In fact that young man said he's got four more Visits to that dig and it'll be over and he said any of us that want to go can go with him and help him In the dig in Jerusalem, I mean in Israel, so wouldn't that be interesting to do?

What else we heard so so so much yeah, yeah, he found the bones of the Sacrificial animals and donated some of those to Dr. Paul. In fact, I've held one of those in my hand and Which is quite an experience to think about that.

And.

Let's see. What else I was thinking of something else too, right when you said that Oh the the. Not the well, but the pool which pool was it he discovered Siloam was that it? There was a man an archaeologist from Israel who called in on zoom and spoke to us in broken English.

He's an Israeli PhD who discovered the pool of Siloam and he being a Jewish person. Was talking about how it proved the New Testament in the book of John and that Jesus was there and when he hung up Dr. Ball said now, isn't that a miraculous thing to see this Jewish man?

Proclaiming the truth of the New Testament. So it was a really a wonderful day very tiring. We sat in the chair four hours pretty much three at least I don't know. But it was the chair became very hard by the end of the day.

But it was well worth it to see what we got to see so if you've never seen the creation evidence research museum in Lynn Rose Will arrange way for you to see that Lord willing. All right, so that was what I did for my birthday and that was lots of fun.

Colossians 3:19-21 and the Call to Biblical Childrearing

Turn with me if you would to Colossians chapter 3 verse 19 and I'm excited about this message. This can be a life-changing message for your children or your grandchildren. If you're listening today or any any of your friends children's or children's children or grandchildren's.

If you ever help them out with this information. All right. So let's pray Lord. We thank you for the service already and thank you for your presence with us in this place and Bless your word today. Amen.

Colossians 3 19 is what we talked about last Sunday a little bit. Mostly we talked about the wife, but I told you it was really a message to the husbands if you remember, but Verse 19 speaks directly to the husband husbands.

Love your wives and be not bitter against them. Which I think is an interesting exhortation. Don't you gentlemen be not bitter against the wife? I mean, what would your wife do to make you bitter? I guess can't think of anything.

You can't let bitterness creep in and we Charlotte I never have we have this wonderful thing we discovered in the Bible. And I'll paraphrase it. It says when you have a fight Before you go to sleep that night spend a lot of time kissing and making up.

Is that how the verse goes? So that's what we've always done. And so you'll never have bitterness if you make up the same day you have the fight that then we've always done that.

So.

That's a great thing. Maybe that's what it means. Be not bitter against your wife. Makeup. You know may get the argument finished before you go to bed. Let not the Sun go down on your wrath or your anger.

It says love the wife. Agape is the word for love. There are three words in Greek for that. But that's agape which is the one that means that the love does not have anything to do with the object of your love.

It comes from the heart of the lover. So the man has to be the great lover in the marriage and the woman is a responder. The man is the initiator of the love and no matter how she treats the man The man still loves her the same.

Now, that's godly love. You can only have that if you're a born-again man. But if you are born again You can be that kind of husband and I'm not gonna spend much more time on that because I spent more time on the men last time Than the women really so I'd like to go to the next verse verse 20.

And this is where I want to dwell today and maybe next Sunday because we don't have a lot of time today. So verse 20 and 21 is what I want to deal with the Lord. It says children. Obey your parents in all things for this is well-pleasing them to the Lord.

Now.

Children remember when we read something like this. Don't just read it. It's well-pleasing unto the Lord as if this is a Sunday school lesson or you know a religious thing. This is talking about the creator of the universe the creator of everything that exists.

You wouldn't exist if God hadn't made you and it's saying that's who it pleases when you obey your parents. The creator of everything that exists who could end everything that exists if he chose to but he won't because his character won't let him.

Because he loves us. He loves us and that that part of his character won't let him just snuff humans out of existence now humans have observed. It deserved that before right before the flood. Right, and God didn't snuff out the entire race, but he could have but he didn't because of his love and so he loves us.

But that's who you're pleasing when you obey your parents is a God who is powerful enough to do to end all reality if he wanted To except for his own reality, but he doesn't choose to do that. But that's who you please now see when there's someone that's that powerful.

You want a pleasing you want to be on the pleasing side of that person? You don't want him angry at you ever. So children listen to me for a moment every child. There is one Bible verse or two and I'm gonna read them to you in a minute that are the most important to in the whole Bible for you to know and to understand and We will read those in just a moment, in fact, I'll do it right now first one is in Exodus chapter 20 verse 12.

For the children it says honor your mother and father. That the your days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God gives you. Now some people interpret that to mean you would have a long life if you honor your mother and dad.

But it doesn't say that but it is teaching is that while you are On this earth, you would have a fulfilling blessed life. Like Israel did when they were in the promised land. That's what that verse means.

However, there's another verse in Deuteronomy 516. It adds information to this. It says honor your father and your mother as the Lord thy God hath commanded you. That your days may be prolonged and that it may go well with thee in the land which the Lord has given you.

So that's two two things the second one about Being in the land that is a picture of having a blessed fruitful Successful wonderful life on this earth. Like the jews did when they were in the promised land, but the phrase before it says so it may go well with you.

And that your days be prolonged that's talking about living a longer life living a long life and so Children need to remember that's the number one thing for you is to always honor and obey your mother and father.

Now.

Let's talk about what it means. What does it mean to honor someone? Webster's dictionary says it means to regard or treat someone with admiration and respect and to live up to that person. And little ones what does admiration means?

It means you're supposed to admire your parents. What does that mean? You're supposed to Sort of be in all of them the stuff they know how to do the stuff they can do they can take care of you. They can answer your questions.

They can protect you. They can feed you they can Give you a house. Thanks. You're gonna make it a little cooler. Cooler or warmer. Yeah, thank you. It's getting a little stuffy so they can everything that you need children your parents give that to you.

So you should be in all of them you should admire them that's what honor means. But it also means to live up to them. Now. That's a great thing to think about. When you get to be a teenager where you can drive your own car.

And go out and do what you want to do and your parents are not watching you. There's a couple of things happening. Number one. God is watching you everywhere you go, but number two the community watches you.

So you can do things out in the town you live in or in the community that would embarrass your parents or bring shame On them or their family by you doing something. That's not right to do. And that is not honoring your parents because part of the word honor means to live up to your parents live up to their standard.

You know pay attention to how they think life should be lived and live up to that standard even when you leave the home. So that's what the lord commands and also to obey. What does that one mean? I bet that one doesn't need the definition but i'll give you one to follow the commands or the guidance of your parents or to conform or comply with what they Tell you to do and what they want you to do.

So you got to obey them and honor them now that that is the whole role of children to bring Joy to the parents the grandparents to the family to others. And to be a person that even other people enjoy being around.

They they enjoy it when you walk in the room if you're a child you walk in the room the people are happy you're there. That is part of your role as a child. And of course, that's what your parents want for you now, I want to um I want to go back to.

Um.

Well, let me speak to that just a second. I'm trying to get over here to the part i'm really wanting to get to but. This is important. Colossians 3 20 the chapter we're studying says children obey your parents in all things.

That doesn't leave anything out. For this is well pleasing and to the creator of the universe. The children should never rule the home. Parents, you need to listen to this too because parents have especially.

This isn't written to grandparents. Never mind children Should never rule the home. Either directly through demanding their way. Or getting it from one spouse over the other. Or indirectly through bad behavior.

Children should never rule the home. We will inherit the land. Maintain, which means a blessed life. Maintain a strong country and a strong church with strong families only if children learn to obey. That's what the bible says.

God gives Order to the family which in turn gives order to the whole of the community. Whether they be churches or nations god order. God's order is simple. God is over all. The father is over the wife and the children and the wife is over the children.

And the wife is the counselor of the father. Any change in god's order of authority can and will destroy families and communities. A church is nothing if its families are out of god's divine order. A country is dying When it undermines the family.

Which is god's basic unit. Now I say those things just to introduce What i'm about to teach from the scriptures. So let's go to colossians chapter 3 verse 21.

Fathers.

And this is right after it says children obey your parents in all things. For this is well pleasing to the creator of the universe. Fathers provoke not your children to anger Lest they be discouraged.

Now i'm going to teach you something that when I was I don't feel that old. I'm just one year older than I was last year. I don't feel that old.

Um.

When I was a child of five years old or a junior high age young person. Or a high schooler or a college young man or a married young man All the way up through my life There was never any question in the world.

Except just a little little small minority of people Who had read a book by a man named benjamin spock Which began and this was in the 50s the 1950s began to teach that you should not spank children you should reason with them.

And.

A small minority minority of people bought into that because they knew that how they were raised with spankings. And their parents were raised with rougher spankings and their parents even rougher spankings.

And I can go back in my history and think of that too. I was spanked with a nice wide paddle that my dad made. That was wide enough to make a really loud noise, but not hurt very much, but it did hurt.

It had my name on it in huge letters and he called it the david board. And he hung it on a nail by his chair at the dinner table and it stayed there my whole life. And even when some of my jenny's life is probably still there.

Uh.

But.

So that's how I was spanked. He was spanked by his dad with a thing called a razor strap. Which they don't make anymore. But i've seen one it used to be one hanging uh at my barber's shop. And they're about this wide and they're rough because you sharpen a razor on it and those little roughness of there when you Whack it around the legs and rear end of a person stick to the butt.

Ox. The buttocks. Charlotte's not even in the room. Hallelujah, but anyway, uh. And it hurts. Now if you go back before that My grand my father's dad was spanked with switches and some of you were too.

Probably with switches that you had to go out and get it off the tree yourself. And it would literally wrap around your body when it hit you. And that created what they call the great generation that won world war ii.

Those are the people that were spanked like that. Okay, so anyway, that's sort of the history of spankings. And in the bible it talks about the rod and it's talking about a switch like that. In the hebrew it just means a branch of a tree or something that you spank your child with.

Now.

So dr. Spock says no, you never spank a child. Well, no one bought into that much. And i'm so thankful that my parents didn't. I doubt that I would be a preacher today had they bought into that. Okay, because if you don't learn what the bible teaches about what i'm going to talk about the next two sundays.

Um.

You will totally miss what the creator of the universe says about how to raise children. Into citizens that people enjoy being around and who are also powerful enough to change the country or their community for god.

And so god has one way now. How many of you remember the story about the ark of the covenant? Do you remember the story about how when the philistines Um captured it and finally god made it possible for the israelis to get it back.

But.

When they went to get it, they got the wise idea instead of carrying it with these long Staves or sticks that went through both rings and the sides of it and men were supposed to hold the sticks and carry it.

And walk with it. That's how god said to do it. They decided to put it on a cart with wheels. God didn't say do it that way. And that ark represented the presence of god, by the way. And so they were dealing with the presence of god in their own way.

Rather than the way god said to do it. This is called bible methodology. It's as important as doctrine. It is doctrine. It's a teaching of the bible is about how to do things god's way and it covers many areas of life including child rearing.

But they didn't do it god's way and they had this thing going down the road and one of the wheels hit a bump in that. Cart almost fell off and a priest reached up and settled it and god struck him dead on the spot.

He was killed immediately by god because They had disobeyed god's way of doing it. God doesn't do that every day doesn't have to he showed his mind on it right there. So when we see biblical methodology and we thumb the nose at it and we say we have a better way.

Because we're modern human beings and we can do this better than god says to do it. Death can occur. There are many ways in which death can occur. In fact eternal death death can be the result of it. I will prove that to you over the next today and the next sunday.

As we go. So this might be the most important sermon i've preached all year.

So.

Let's start with this idea of fathers provoke not your children to anger lest they be discouraged. The word provoke is.

Is.

A greek word And it means to stimulate The child so fathers were not to do something that would stimulate the child to be angry. Or discouraged. Now it comes from a root word in the greek eris which means to quarrel or to wrangle.

And it can be translated and has been in the new testament. Contention debate strife and variance. Now variance in webster's dictionary means The fact quality or state of being variable, but that's not the meaning of it in this context.

So the second definition is the meaning. And I quote the fact or state of being in disagreement dissension or dispute. Now, let me suggest something and you tell me if this is logical. Would you agree that the only way that you could come into contention debate?

Or variance with a child would be to be speaking with them, but disagreeing with what they think. You you can't have a quarrel without two people disagreeing. So the thing that creates and i'm not saying the only thing One thing that creates that situation with a child is when you reason with them and they don't agree with you.

Now you can't always avoid that right. You can't. I mean you can't avoid that. But you certainly don't want that to be the main way that you discipline a child. If you know it has the possibility of creating causing you to disobey a clear imperative.

In the scripture in other words a command of god for the fathers.

Not.

To provoke your child to anger now not only to anger.

And.

Let's remember now that this word provoke is talking about don't create wrangling. Which is generally verbal uh contention debate you understand.

And.

Then it says. When you do that, especially if it's not done with much wisdom, then you do create anger. And then this other word is discouragement. You discourage the child and you make the child angry.

That is god's word on it. God said that. Now when you read books by spock and i'm going to read something to you by a more modern individual here in a minute.

Uh.

But.

When you read words that they write they don't consult god on those words. They are consulting their human brain. It's called humanism. They think that all wisdom comes from within the mind of man and that man is both the creator and The sustainer of everything that is and man is god.

That's a humanist. Usually they're atheistic or certainly agnostic. And most of the time people like that write the psychology books on child rearing today that the young people are reading. And it goes all the way back to the 50s when spock wrote the first one that his first one ever written like that.

No one ever thought that's how you should raise children until he wrote that book and he was a phd psychologist. And that's all he was. He knew nothing about the bible didn't know god. You can put him up there with darwin you know, uh, or any of the others but When you look at what god said command do not Stimulate your child to wrangling or having contention or debate or strive for variance because you will take the child to anger and discouragement when you do that and god said you just disobeyed me and you need to.

You need to confess that to me as sin and you need to ask me to forgive you first and then let's deal with the child. All right now I want to read you something from dr James dobson if any of you heard of him, he was very very big when I was raising jenny katie and paul.

Uh.

I think he may have passed away this year. Is that true? Just this year though, right or recently. Do you know when? Okay, that's what I thought. Because in my new book that's about to go to the publisher monday, I think well, it's already there.

But we'll see if it's ready. There is information that i'm talking about today in the book. And I was quoting dobson as if he were still alive and he was when I wrote that part of the book but by the time it's published he isn't but I want to read what he said about this and he i'm going to read let me tell you what before I read it.

Let me see if you think he's qualified to talk about things like this. And let me give you some of his credentials. Dr. Dobson Earned a phd from the university of southern california and holds 18 honorary doctoral degrees.

He is the author of more I see my book should say was but it says is. I'm quoting this from my book, but he is uh. He is the author of more than 70 books dedicated to the preservation of the family. Dr. Dobson served as an associate clinical professor of pediatrics at the university of southern california school of medicine for 14 years.

And on the attending staff of children's hospital in los angeles for 17 years in the divisions of child development and medical genetics. He has advised five u .s. Presidents and served on eight national commissions.

Dr. Dobson has been married to his wife shirley for 64 years. They have two grown children and two grandchildren. Now here is what he says i'm going to quote corporal punishment that means a spanking.

Corporal punishment when used lovingly and properly. Is beneficial to a child? Because it is in harmony with nature itself. I never expected to read this. When I read this I went. Oh, where is he going with that?

Because he's kind of a christian bible person, too. He's talking about Nature. He's talking about how it is in the world. But I said, okay i'm going to keep reading here and when I did I went wow, this is amazing, but he says this consider the purpose.

So he's just looking at a human. From a biological viewpoint here how god made us. All right as humans. He says. Consider the purpose of minor pain in a child's life and how he learns from it. Suppose two-year-old peter.

Pulls on a tablecloth. And with it comes a vase of roses that cracks him between the eyes. From this pain he learns that it is dangerous to pull on the tablecloth unless he knows what sits on it. When he touches a hot stove.

He quickly learns that heat must be respected. If he learns to be if he lives to be 100 years old. He will never again reach out and touch a red hot coals of fire or a stove. The same lesson is learned when he pulls the doggy's tail and promptly gets a neat row of teeth marks Across the back of his hand or when he climbs out of his high chair when mom isn't looking and discovers all about gravity.

During the childhood years. He typically accumulates minor bumps bruises scratches and burns each one teaching him about life's boundaries. Do these experiences make him a violent person. No now he is answering.

Secular humanist people who are starting to write books about child rearing who were writing in their books that when you spank a Child you will create a violent human being. And they were just stating that as fact.

Well, he just used as a common sense examples to prove that's not true. You don't create violent humans by all these things where they receive pain. It teaches them, you know how to live in this world.

No, the pain associated with these events teaches him to avoid making the same mistakes again. God created this mechanism as a valuable vehicle for instruction. When a parent administers a reasonable spanking in response to willful disobedience.

A similar non-verbal message is given to the child. Non-verbal is key here. He must understand that there are not only dangers in the physical world to be avoided. He should also be wary of dangers in his social world such as defiance sassiness selfishness temper tantrums.

Behavior that puts his life in danger. That which hurts others. That which hurts others, etc. The minor pain associated with this deliberate misbehavior tends to inhibit it. Just as discomfort works to shape behavior in the physical world neither conveys hatred.

Neither conveys hatred neither results in rejection neither makes the child more violent. Now that was his position and he created this marvelous institution Uh that is still in existence today after his death, however.

He gave up control of it several years ago. And the organization has changed so now i'm going to read to you from. A man named, uh, let me see. I think the first part of this is over here. I might have gotten this out of order.

Let me look.

Dr. Huerta, but i'm sure i've got his first name somewhere. Yeah, I got. I got these out of order. Apologize for that. Okay, there's what I just read. All right, I guess that is all of it. Um, okay. So I don't unfortunately I don't have the man's first name, but i'll give it to you in a minute.

I'm sure i'll run across it here. So there's this man named dr. Huerta who now runs, uh. The organization that dobson starred in and let me quote him on what he believes about spankings today. Okay. When we use our words and actions To guide Teach Encourage and correct children learn to self-discipline and self-correct.

That's his first statement about child rearing. With focus on the family. Let me say it again, but but this summarizes any book I could read in modern. In the modern world about how to raise children is on this theme and this has been it for for a good two decades.

When we use our words And our actions to guide teach and encourage and correct children learn to self-discipline.

And.

Self-correct. Sounds nice, doesn't it? I wonder if that came from god's word. Anyone have a guess on that? Do you think god ever said that. Here's how you raise a child. Speak to them and get them to self-correct.

That'll be better. This man goes this doctor's phd goes on and says. Into the modern mantra of reason with your child through your words only. Never hit we don't hit children is a nice phrase that they like to say.

Of course he goes on by throwing in i'm, sorry, this is me of course when he says. You know use your words and actions as a guide. Let me let me point out what he's doing to the young parents. And this makes me angry as an older gentleman a grandfather to think about young people like like some some of my children.

Just now having babies and so forth could read something like this. And and what it is doing is patronizing them. But also shaming them because when you say that you've got to use your words and your actions.

That means you've got to live perfectly. You've got to live so well in front of that child. That just by speaking to them. They'll want to be like you so now. It comes down to the failure of your lifestyle if if the child doesn't turn out.

Well, because you weren't good enough in front of them for them to just go by your words and turn into a nice.

Person.

So now a guilt a measure of subliminal guilt has been put into the mind of the young person reading this the parent into thinking well my soul. I mean If the child sees how i'm living this could present a problem.

Well, the truth is that's true, isn't it? If you use that method if your method is going to be for your lifestyle and your words to be all that corrects them You better live a pretty strong life I mean what if you're not even providing enough food or not, you know.

The housing is all that nice and the car is not all that great and your kid sees that and they become junior high age. And you're teaching them by your actions and your words and they're not that you know, they're not that impressed with you.

How well do you think that method is going to work with that child.

So.

I mean this is so subliminal when they throw these words like this in here and these are ivory tower people obviously, you wonder if they've even raised a child, but. But when we or if they were even raised wait, I guess they had to be.

When you use our words and actions to guide them, okay, so you know he goes into this idea of reasoning with the child and now the parent has to feel Incapable of correcting properly for every father and mother knows that he or she is imperfect.

Young children will not learn to self-correct.

Period.

They will not learn to self-correct. Period. It's not going to happen.

So.

We'll see why but certainly they're not going to learn through the parents words alone. Yes, it helps if they have if the parents have wisdom from scripture no doubt. And words do help in child rearing.

But not only words. If you have only words the child will grow increasingly rebellious selfish and angry with age. And lose respect and honor for the parents as they become preteen and teenage years. It's in the genes and it's called the sin nature.