Episode 649: TLP 649: God’s Plan for Your Family, Part 2 | what you should

Worshiping God Through Parenting

This family plan isn't about finding a way to make the family work. It's not about making life easy for us. It's not about the parents or kids pursuing their will. This is about parenting. Isn't about us.

In fact parenting isn't even about our kids. Parenting is just one way Christian dads and moms are to worship God. So welcome to the truth love parent podcast where we train dads and moms to give God the preeminence in their parenting.

Welcome back to our short God's plan for your family series. If you're just joining us Please start with last week's episode and then we'll see you back here when you're done with that one. If you're however returning with your family, I hope that you have your Bibles and your life work paper today.

We're going to talk about the kinds of things our families need to be doing if we're going to please the Lord. As always you can access that free life work via a link in the description of today's episode.

Our blog at truthloveparent .com has all of our free episode notes transcripts and links to a plethora of related resources. Those links are really important because they keep the conversation going by broadening and deepening our understanding of the information.

Into which we can't take the time today to dig as deep as we may like to. So let's go ahead and get started on our last episode. We covered two important truths first. We were reminded of the fact that our ultimate authority gets to decide how we live our lives.

Now before I continue today, please think carefully about this and be honest. I want to challenge you to tell your family members if you don't Truly and fully believe that the God of the Bible is or should be your family's ultimate authority.

Many of you live like you don't believe it. If you believe it, then you need to start living the way he commands you to but if you don't believe it. Will you please just be honest with your family members?

Let them know that you don't believe in the God of the Bible and that you don't believe you need to obey him. Whatever you do don't live a lie, at least be honest. That will be better for everyone. Of course, I believe that you absolutely need to love and obey the God of the Bible.

He's our Creator and King and he wants to be your Savior. And if you believe that then you absolutely need to live like it's true. We need to stop saying that we believe things our lives prove aren't true.

And then our second point was that if our family is following Christ, we absolutely need to stop being immoral, impure. Sinfully passionate, desirous of evil, greedy, idolatrous, sinfully angry, wrathful, malicious, slanderous abusive in our speech, and liars.

Imagine if Jesus is walking due north. We can't say we're following him if we're walking south, east, or west. Even if we're walking north, northeast. We're not really following him because it won't be long before we're going completely a different direction.

The same is true of our behavior. If you're a Christian, you've been called to follow Christ. You've been commanded to live like him. You can't pursue sin and truly be following Christ. That's why your family, all of our families, needs to be serious about having a plan that we won't do the things that God says are sin.

Of course, it's not enough to have a plan. We have to work that plan, but we'll talk about that more later. Before we get into our topic today, the things that we should be doing as followers of Christ I want to remind you that we're in great need of your financial support.

If you would be so kind as to visit truthloveparent .com forward slash donate. You can sign up to be a monthly donor. Your giving will help us pay our bills and keep this ministry going. Our podcast is heard all over the world.

The Evermind app has a ton of free and paid resources. My book, Quit, How to Stop Family Strife for Good, was designed to help all Christian families follow Christ better and work their family plan. And our speaking and counseling seek to do nothing more than glorify God by helping families.

And you can help us as we help families by becoming a monthly donor. Again, please check out truthloveparent .com forward slash donate to give today. Okay. Now let's talk about the other side of the point we made last week.

Following Christ Through Obedient Living

If we're followers of Christ, we shouldn't do the things he tells us not to do and that means that we absolutely need to be Doing the things he tells us to do. So what does he tell us to do? Well again, there are so many commands in the entirety of Scripture and so many of them are for us.

We need to know God better by studying the Bible. As we encounter commands, principles, and expectations. We need to strive to obey them and help the other people and our families do the same. But this family plan project is designed to be simple and broad.

It's all based in Colossians chapter 3. Hopefully you've all read that chapter at least once this week. So now I'm going to read verses 12 through 17. Start listening to the kinds of things God wants us to be doing.

So as the elect of God be holy and beloved put on a heart of compassion kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bearing with one another and graciously forgiving each other. Whoever has a complaint against anyone just as the Lord graciously forgave you.

So also should you above all these. Put on love which is the perfect bond of unity and let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts to which indeed you were Called in one body and be thankful. Let the Word of Christ to dwell in you richly with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs.

Singing with gratefulness in your hearts to God and whatever you do in word or deed. Do all in the name of the Lord Jesus giving thanks to God the Father through him. The word elect means that God chose us specifically to live this way.

The word holy refers to something that is set apart for a specific job. I like to use the example of a toothbrush. Your toothbrush has one job to brush your teeth. You don't want other people to brush their teeth with your toothbrush and you definitely don't want anyone cleaning the toilet with your toothbrush.

Your toothbrush is holy for your mouth only in the same way God is saying that he chose us to be set apart away from sin and to righteousness. Now we don't earn our salvation by doing good things. But because God loved us and saved us and hopefully everyone in your family knows the gospel and believes it.

Because he loves us we desire to please him by doing those those things that make him happy. So because God chose us to be set apart and beloved there's a list of things he wants us to do. This is number three following from the two points last week number three because our family follows Christ we put on righteous living.

Compassion as a Deliberate Expression of Mercy

Letter a we will put on a heart of compassion. The Greek word translated compassion refers to a person's bowels now to a modern mind that sounds strange. But this was the ancient equivalent of thinking about the heart as the seat of love like we do nowadays.

Emotions were attributed to a part of the human body. Of course, we know that neither the intestines nor the heart are the seat of our emotions. Our whole body is part of the chemical process by which we experience emotion.

By the way, if you're interested in what the Bible says about the purpose and place of emotions in our lives I have a resource linked for you in the description. For the sake of this study I need to point out that this word actually has little to do with the actual Experience of emotions and far more to do with the decision to relate to people in a merciful compassionate way.

In fact, this Greek word is translated mercy and mercies more than it's rendered compassion. God is merciful to us. He doesn't treat us how we deserve to be treated. He is loving and merciful and gracious and the father wants us to be that same way with others.

We so often try to justify treating people poorly because of what they did to us, but that is the exact opposite of mercy. Again, I wish we could sit on each of these themes and study what the Bible says about all of them.

But we simply can't dedicate that time today. This is just an overview to set the trajectory for our families. Our family plan needs to set before us God's expectations. The joy of parenting and family life is that we get to pursue these topics together for the rest of our lives as we study Them and deepen our understanding of them.

Are you compassionate with your family members, especially the ones that get under your skin? And speaking of topics, I wish we could spend way more time on, letter B, we will put on kindness. I really wish there were an English word that better translated this Greek word.

Biblical Kindness Pursues What Is Right

Unfortunately, the way most people define kindness makes this a terrible rendering of the original intent. The underlying Greek word actually has to do with that which is good, excellent, upright, and righteous.

To be kind is to do what's in a person's best interest. Real kindness isn't a tone of voice or Making the other person feel good. True kindness involves doing what is right as you relate to that person.

It may be fun and enjoyable. But the kind thing to do might also be to tell the person that they're wrong. Give them consequences and have a sober conversation about their sin. Being kind is not simply being nice.

We're not commanded by God to be nice. We're commanded by him to be good to each other. So are you truly biblically kind to your family? Do you consider how God would want you relating to that person?

Do you evaluate God's righteousness above man's silly understanding of what it is to be nice? Letter C. We will put on humility. This topic is so important. I could do a whole season-long series about this and just barely scratch the surface.

Humility is the opposite of pride. Pride is thinking about myself. What do I want? What makes me feel good? How does this make me feel at all? What are my desires? Humility is not thinking about myself at all.

My first thoughts are about what God wants me to do and my second thoughts are about how best to love and serve the people Around me. I then trust the Lord to take care of me as I obey him. Now that doesn't mean that we aren't to wisely steward our times and legitimate needs like our health.

It's never right to sin and neglecting to care for our spirits and bodies because we're killing ourselves taking care of everyone else isn't pleasing to the Lord. The point I'm trying to make is that we all need to be less selfish less Self-worshipping less focus on everything we want and more focused on what God wants in our lives.

The two greatest commands are to love God and love others. We're never commanded to love ourselves, but the observation is made that because we're selfish we already love ourselves. Therefore our family must work to be humble.

It goes against our flesh to set aside our desires, but Jesus is the perfect example of this. I encourage your family to read Philippians chapter 2 where we get a divine picture of the beautiful humility of Jesus and If the Creator God King of the universe can set aside what he deserves to love and serve us.

We need to do that with each other. Letter D. We will put on gentleness. Here's another very important biblical idea that most people misunderstand. The two common misunderstandings are these. First people think that gentleness sometimes translated meekness is Weakness, it's an inability to be more or to be powerful.

Second just like with the idea of kindness people think that gentleness is a tone of voice or a set of vocabulary words. But of this word vines complete expository dictionary says the following. I'm gonna read a long quote see if you can follow it all.

It consists not in a person's outward behavior only nor yet in his relations to his fellow men as little in his mere natural disposition. Rather, it is an in wrought grace of the soul and the exercise of it of it are first and chiefly towards God.

It is that temper of spirit in which we accept his dealings with us as good and therefore without disputing or resisting. It is only the humble heart which is also the meek in which as such does not fight against God and more or less Struggle and contend with him.

This meekness however being first of all a meekness before God is also such in the face of men even of evil men. Out of a sense that these with the insults and injuries which they may Inflict are permitted and employed by him that's referring to God for the chastening and purifying of his elect.

And It goes on to say something very important quote the meaning of this word is not readily expressed in English for the terms meekness. Mildness commonly used suggest weakness or pusillanimity to a greater or lesser extent.

Whereas this word does nothing of the kind. Nevertheless, it is difficult to find a rendering less open to objection than the word meekness. Gentleness has been suggested. But as this Greek word describes a condition of mind and heart and as gentleness is appropriate rather to actions.

This word is no better than that used in both English versions. It must be clearly understood therefore that the meekness manifested by the Lord and commended to the believer is the fruit of power. The common assumption is that when a man is meek it is because he cannot help himself.

But the Lord was meek because he had the infinite resource of God at his command. Described and negatively meekness is the opposite to self-assertiveness and self-interest. It is equanimity of spirit that is neither elated nor cast down simply because it is not occupied with self at all.

Close quote. This word refers to power under control. I may have the power to reject God and not trust him, but I won't exercise that power. I might have the power to do harm and sin, but I refuse. It's an attitude that is first directed to God and requires humility.

And then and only then can I relate to others in the appropriate way that God's will demands. We must therefore know God and study his word in order to truly be meek. Now before we move to the next point, I want to consider the trajectory we've seen.

We need to truly desire the good of God and others. We need to interact with those relationships in a holy and righteous way that God demands. And that requires that I pursue God's will and others best.

This means I'll humbly set aside my expectations and it's that humility that will lead to the powerful control that allows me to do the hard thing in the moment and. One of those hard things we need to do frequently within a family is, letter E, we will put on patience.

Patience and Bearing With One Another

Patience requires that we endure with people. Too often we think of patience is not saying something while watching someone else do something they shouldn't. No, patience is lovingly and steadfastly forbearing them as you humbly love them by being biblically kind and gentle.

It will involve the hard process of parenting and discipleship and counsel that truly are a never-ending work. It means helping people be successful even when it requires that we set aside what we would rather be doing.

We will never be patient with people if we're not first gracious and kind and humble. If anyone in your family struggles with being patient, you can know right here that they are not compassionate, kind, humble, or gentle.

This may be because they're immature, but it may also be because they're not saved. They don't have the access to the power of God to live like Christ and follow him. Don't ignore these sins and shortcomings.

An impatient person is not okay. Our family plan is steadfast and adamant about obeying God because it's too easy to make excuses. But our sin is the result of a much deeper spiritual issue. Moving on, letter F, we will bear with one another.

The idea of bearing with someone is similar to the idea of patience. But it's a little bit more powerful of a word. It refers to enduring and standing up under pressure. We can think of it not as the casual Patience of a parent willing to wait a couple extra minutes for a child to learn to tie his or her shoes.

But if someone who tends to the sick bed of a loved one, the person who ministers to the chronically ill, and the person who Walks through deep distress and anguish with another, it has the idea of holding up under suffering.

There's a terrible idea in our culture that says we need to cut off all difficult relationships. That's not what the Bible says. We need to forbear with each other and help each other stand up under the difficult and move toward the glory of God.

Forgiving as God Has Forgiven Us

Letter G, we will forgive each other. We have a number of resources about forgiveness. So I'll link those for you if you want to do a deeper dive into the biblical concept. For now, though. Ask yourself this, when someone in your home sins against you.

Do they ask you to forgive them? If they do, do you truly forgive them for what they did? Or do you continue to rehearse in your head what they did? Do you hold it against them or do you get angry and bitter about what they did?

Or are you not certain what forgiveness really is? True forgiveness rarely forgets, but it does place the sin under the blood of Christ. While God has forgiven How can we continue to hold against the person?

It's not easy to do, but we must as a family forgive as God has forgiven us. Letter H, we will put on love. Okay, so this is just another concept our culture regularly misunderstands. It would take me days to explain all the wrong ways the world defines love.

Biblical Love Seeks God’s Best

So instead I'll biblically define it here and encourage your family to listen to the family love series. That series carefully works through the scriptures to help us biblically truly understand what God's talking about when he says we need to love each other.

Love is wanting and working toward God's best interest in a person's life. It will be compassionate and kind and gentle and humble and patient and forgiving. Love isn't a feeling it doesn't matter what you feel about someone if you're not doing what God commands in this passage and many other Places in scripture.

You're absolutely not loving that person. It doesn't matter what the other person thinks about you either. They may think you're the best friend. They may absolutely have a blast hanging out with you.

But if you're sinning together, then you're being hateful and unloving. Do you really love your family? I'm not talking about how you feel about them. Do you really want and work toward God's will for their lives?

It's not enough to want it. Are you actively pursuing God's best for the people in your family? Now imagine a family who did all of these things consistently not perfectly but purposefully. How unified do you think they would be as a family?

Unity Through Submission to God

Letter I we will be unified. Family disunity is always a result of sin. All the things we discussed last week will absolutely divide your family. I wrote the book called quit how to stop family strife for good and I encourage you to get a copy and read it with Your family where one person said it's 500 pages of information in a 100 page book.

It's a short book. Don't freak out. There's just a lot of biblical help in there. We also have a family devotional series called a family united in God, which I'll link for you in the description true unity can only come as we submit to God and love each other as God loves us and It's this kind of family that will have peace.

The Peace of Christ in Family Life

Letter J. We will let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts. The peace of Christ is not necessarily the cessation of hostilities. It's not necessarily always a good feeling. Peace is a soul rest tied very closely to meekness that is able to endure difficulty.

It's a joy that comes with trial. It's a confidence that comes with uncertainty. It's tied directly to our trust in the Lord and our submission to his will. Our peaceful parenting series works through the book of Philippians to teach us how to have peace no matter what God and others bring into our lives and the series is obviously applicable beyond parenting and When we're humble and loving and righteous and at peace.

Thankfulness Instead of Discontentment

Letter K. We will be thankful. Discontentment and gratitude and complaining should never appear in a Christian home. God is so good. We never have anything to complain about. But we are discontent and ungrateful When we're proud and self-absorbed and pursuing our own will instead of God's.

However when we understand who God is and what we deserve and when we look at our lives and families through the lens of God's truth We will realize that we have an infinite amount for which to be thankful.

Even the hardships and difficulties of life through which God allows us to be at peace and content are things for which we can thank the Lord. Now here's another good place to stop and to remind us that merely talking about these things or writing them down on a family plan Is not a guarantee that will grow in these areas.

These will take hard work. Determination obedience and the power of the Holy Spirit. This family plan is the goal toward which our family it has said we're going to fight to get there. We're going to do whatever it takes together to become who God wants us to be.

It will take much study of the scriptures accountability consequences apologies and forgiveness. Sanctification love and humility, but it's worth it. And I pray that this study is setting this family plan not as an impossible task But as something we can achieve to the glory of God and in his power because it's what God has called us to do.

Letting the Word of Christ Dwell Richly

Now again, imagine a family where everyone knows God in his word well enough to understand how to be all of these things. They run from sin and they run toward righteousness. That will be a family where the Bible is at the very center of all that they say and do.

Letter L. We will let the word of Christ richly dwell in us. The word of Christ is the Bible the whole Bible and God wants it to dwell in us. He wants it to actually permanently live in us, but not just live in us.

He wants it to dwell in us richly. This word means abundantly. If you're my age, you may have grown up watching DuckTales. If you did then you remember how insanely rich Scrooge McDuck was. That's the way the Lord wants his word to live in our lives lavishly opulently and abundantly.

But that will never happen if we don't work hard. Scrooge McDuck didn't get all that money by being lazy and the Bible will not be the source of all of our decision-making and Reacting if we're not working hard to read it, study it, memorize it, meditate on it, and obey it.

Only then will it richly dwell in us. And when we're filled with God's Word It can't help but come out of us like a cup filled to the brim with water. When it gets jostled only water comes out. So too will we speak God's truth when we open our mouths Letter M and we're almost there to the end.

Teaching and Admonishing One Another

Hang on Letter M when we will teach and admonish each other in all wisdom and teaching. Does your family work to help everyone else in your family better know understand and worship God? Are you truly all working together to help each other become Christians and to grow in conformity to Christ?

That's what God wants for all of our families. And Finally letter N. Whatever we do in word or deed. We will do all things in the name of the Lord Jesus and give thanks. This family plan isn't about finding a way to make the family work.

It's not about making life easy for us. It's not about the parents or the kids pursuing their will. This is about doing everything and saying everything in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. The ultimate goal of our family plan needs to be worshiping God.

We need to pursue it all for his glory in his glory alone. Will it benefit us? Well, of course it will but that won't be our main purpose. I thank you for having hanging out here just a little bit longer today.

Please check out the links in the description. Please share the series with your friends. Please email us at counselor at truth love parent comm or leave a voicemail at 8 to 8 4 2 3 0 8 9 4 if we can serve your family and Please join us next week for the conclusion of this short study as we better understand the roles God has for our family members.

I'll see you then. Truth love parent is part of the evermind ministries family and is dedicated to helping you worship God through your parenting. So join us next time as we study God's Word to learn how to parent our children for life and godliness and Remember that TLP is a listener supported ministry.

You can visit truth. Love parent comm forward slash donate to learn more.