Is God Calling You to Be a Deliverer — Teresa Conlon

This message is one of the Times Square Church pulpit series. It was recorded in the sanctuary of Times Square Church in Manhattan, New York City. Other tapes are available by writing World Challenge, P .O. Box 260, Lindell, Texas 75771, or calling 903 -963 -8626.

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Esther 4 and the Call to Be a Deliverer

And if you would just turn with me to Esther, Chapter 4, Esther, Chapter 4, hallelujah. While you're turning there, I'm going to pray. You can pray with me. Father, we come in Jesus' name. Oh Lord, you are the captain of the host of the army.

I ask you, oh Jesus, you come now. Quicken us, put upon us that armor, put upon us that desire, put upon us, oh God, an anointing to hear and to move in the liberty of the word that you give us. Lord, we trust you now and we believe you, oh God, to be our deliverer and God in turn to have that hand, your hand laid upon us, marked, oh God, by your love, marked by your power.

To God, to walk among the people, your people and the people of this nation, oh God, with a holy fire, oh God, in us, your fire, able to set the captive free, able, oh God, to deliver those you long to deliver that you have from the beginning of the world.

And God, we will be careful to give you the praise and the glory for Jesus. This is your work, your heart among us. And we thank you for it all in Jesus' name, amen and amen. Is God calling you to be a deliverer?

Israel's Apostasy and Exile

You know, one of the most crucial and pivotal times in all of Israel's history, I believe, is right here recorded in the book of Esther. And the reason why I believe that is because in this time in their history, you see the people of God had been turned or emptied out of the land of Israel.

They had been for generations, been caught in unbelief and in worshiping in high places. They were idol worshipers and God had sent prophets and God had sent his word, turn to me, my people and listen to me.

I want to deliver you from what causes the unbelief in you. And I want to show you where you're worshiping in high places, where your strength is leaving, where you want to love me or you want to follow me, but where your strength is going, where your heart and mind are being captivated in certain areas.

And God would send his word. God would send prophets to stir them up and a portion would hear. But it's like as soon as Israel or Judah embraced a living word, as soon as that prophet or that word left their ears, they all seem to almost as a nation, almost as one man, slip back into unbelief and apostasy.

They would end up, the scripture tells us, that they would build high places, that no matter what kind of king was on the throne, even God fearing kings, God who had the word of God and wanted the word preached to the people, even they would not go against the high places found in the land of Israel for whatever reason, whether spiritually they couldn't see or they didn't have the will to do it, or there was so much opposition on the ground or from the people themselves, whatever it was, that in the end, these high places, these places where the Israelites worshipped, they had a dual worship going on, the Lord their God and this other thing going on.

And finally, God said, that's it. I'm going to cleanse the land. And the scripture says he emptied the land of his people and some went to Egypt. Jeremiah warned them, don't go there. But some in their own stubbornness says, no, that's where we'll go.

That's where our safety lies. And some of the Babylonians came into the land of Israel and they took, just Judah was remaining at the time, and they took all the people of the land, except the very poor they left in the land.

And they took mostly the majority who didn't go to Egypt to the land of Babylon to serve under Nebuchadnezzar. And then we have the story of Daniel. And now what we have in this history is that Babylon itself has been conquered by the Medes and the Persians.

And now we have a time where the Persians were ruling the Babylonian empire. They're ruling over these captivated people of God. And Persia is the rulers. And they're living in a strange land and the customs of the people surround them, the religion of the people, their captives surround them.

Haman's Plot Against God's People

And the Bible tells us in the story of Esther that an enemy, the enemy of God's people, inhabited a man named Haman. And he's a very embodiment of Edelweiss. He hates the people of God. And the Bible tells us very clearly, and we heard it this morning so well, that in Esther chapter 313, he wanted letters sent and that he wanted to destroy, to kill, to cause to perish all Jews, young and old, little children and women.

In one day he wanted the light of Israel to be extinguished. He wanted the testimony of God in one day to close up and forever be extinguished. And beloved, you know, this man with the mind of the enemy, he sees a very unique opportunity in the history of Israel.

He says, in one day I can forever wipe out what God wants to establish. And these people, even though they say that God is their God, they are very beaten down in these circumstances. They're captives.

They are slaves in this land again. And they're beaten down. And I can see that he sees that their countenance for the most part, almost as the people, they're so beaten down, he sees a very unique opportunity.

That if he rises up, he feels there's going to be virtually, they are powerless strangers. Who are they in the kingdom? Nobody regards them much. There would be no voice to fight for them. There would be nobody in an influential place to fight for them.

And he, animated by the enemy, says, that's it. I finally have taken God's people out of their land, out of the land where their promises are. It feels like God's word to them, God's promise to them wouldn't reach them in Babylon anymore.

Under the rulership of king, I have got them. And in one day, a bold plan, he says, in one day I can extinguish them. And he gets the king of Persia to agree with him. And the scripture tells us that Haman, he threw a lot.

He wanted to know what was the very best day that he could, the massacre could happen. He was hoping the stars and the gods would favor him and show him what day was the most favorable day for him to annihilate the people of God in this massacre.

So they rolled the dice, the per, and they found out that it came up that on the 13th day of the 12th month, that would be the day they would do it. And it was interesting because that very day was the 13th day of the first month.

Eleven months to the day, the plan was going to be initiated that they would be wiped out. And he goes to the king and he gives them this idea and he says, you know, we should do that because they're strange people.

They don't listen to you, O king. They are a different kind of people. They don't listen to your laws. And besides, we could plunder them and all their riches we'll take into our coffers. And beloved, it was a plan the king could agree to.

But let me tell you that that was the story that Haman told the king. That was the reason he gave. They're not like us. And besides, we're all going to get rich in the process. We don't really need, we'll get rid of them.

That's the plan he told the king. But you want to know the real reason? The truth is, the scripture tells us very plainly, Haman who masterminded this plot, he was totally shaken and obsessed by one Jew who would not bow to him.

That was the whole reason this massacre, this plot took place. Because when Haman, the second ruler in the kingdom, would move out and walk through the people, all would bow before this evil incarnate except one man, Mordecai, who had the spirit of God on him, who recognized the spirit in him and would not bow to it.

And even though he was the ruler of the whole kingdom next to the king, he was absolutely desolate. He was absolutely driven to fury. He was warped up continually because even though he ruled the dominion, one man would not bow to him.

He had everybody bowing to him. He had the king's ear. He had favor wherever he looked. They would acknowledge him as probably the most powerful man in the kingdom, the king at times being only a figurehead, this man ruling it all.

And yet, he was so driven to fanaticism. He was driven to a fury. He was frothing because nothing gave him pleasure, nothing gave him that sense of exultation and power that he craved as long as that one man stood his ground and looked him down.

And all was ruined for him. And so he devised this wicked plan. And the Scripture tells us what an incredible story of this man Mordecai, the power of a righteous man who separated unto God. And God, by His Spirit living in this man, keeps him upright.

Mordecai's Stand Against Intimidation

Beloved, there would be times, of course, because in being flesh he'd be afraid, but there was the Spirit of God in him because he understood the times. The Scripture says in Esther 4, chapter 1, when Mordecai perceived all that was done.

Beloved, that's so much deeper than understanding with his head the times he was living in. This is a man filled with the Spirit of God that he perceives. He has an understanding of what is animating Haman and what is at stake.

That somehow if he bows, something all gives way. Maybe he couldn't put it into words, but it went so deep that the Spirit of God on him that was allowing him to perceive also kept him upright. And beloved, we know his prayer must have been, Oh God, in the face of intimidation, in the face of my own flesh, in the face of all I must withstand, God, keep me upright.

And beloved, that's such a cleansing prayer. God, don't let me bow. God, don't let me bow to sin, to my own flesh, to what's around me, to what opposes me, for things that I can't describe, the things that I can't give words to, what comes against me in my longing to stand for you.

God, don't let me bow before it. And that's a cleansing prayer because in order not to bow, beloved, those that don't bow have to say, Cleanse me, oh God, that you can inhabit me, that you can cause me to stand.

And beloved, Mordecai is absolutely sure of the hour he's living in. He knows the people of God, his people, the people of Mordecai, are days away from annihilation. And so the scripture tells us that he puts on sackcloth and ashes, and he goes in the midst of the city, and he's crying, and he's led to the king's gate.

Now the scripture tells us clearly in Esther 4, that none may enter into the king's gate with sackcloth. You're not allowed to do that. That's a rule of the land. That's a mindset of the people. That we're not going to bring religion, and especially strong religious conviction to the king's gate.

That's for commerce. That's where the business of the state goes on. But we will not have sackcloth there. And Mordecai is not politically correct. Mordecai is not trying to gain friends and influence people at the king's gate, where the seat of power is.

He's a man who understands the times. And he seemingly stands alone, but the spirit of God leads him to the king's gate. Now beloved, you know the story. That inside the king's gate in the palace is his niece, his cousin actually, Esther.

She's a Jewess. He raised her. And she has been told not to reveal her identity. So we have an orphan in the palace. And the scripture tells us in verse 4, that Esther's maids went to see what the commotion was at the king's palace, and her chamberlains came and told her.

And they told her that her cousin Mordecai is at the gate, and he's in sackcloth. And the scripture says in verse 4, then was the queen exceedingly grieved. And she sent Raymond to clothe Mordecai, and to take away his sackcloth from him.

She is exceedingly grieved, not because she's wondering what it is that's grieving him. She's grieved that he has sackcloth on at the king's gate. And she wants to take that sackcloth from him. She knows the time she's living in, she would know better than a lot, living in close proximity to Haman and the king.

And she knows when he comes in sackcloth, that there is an ultimate identification going on. Mordecai is proclaiming to all that he is a Jew. He is proclaiming because he's in sackcloth, that there is something serious going on.

And that now he is appealing to his God for remedy. See, beloved, we put sackcloth on, when finally we can't look to men for help anymore. We can't look to our own resources anymore. We put the sackcloth on because it's uncomfortable, and it's like, God, don't let me rest, and don't give me peace, till your issue with me or my issue with you gets settled.

And he's in sackcloth, and she knows very well what that means. There is something serious. And he's bringing his belief system to the public square. He's drawing attention to it now. And she's probably sensing, don't you know who Haman is?

Don't you know if you stand out? Don't you know if you say that I am a man of God, he's going to go after you? And he's the kind of man who is capable of much harm? She would know this is not a good time for religion.

You know, it's not a good time to be identified as a religious man. A man of God, a man of the Spirit. It stands in stark contrast to the spirit of the age. It's not appreciated. It's not wanted. The mindset of the age is that it's a Jew hunting, plundering, killing age.

And everybody is happy about it. And a Jew standing in that public square, at the King's Gate, at the seat of government, with sackcloth on, goes against where the whole public mindset, where the people are at.

And it's like, when you do that, you're in open season. Where the testimony of the church, or anyone who stands for truth, is going to be a target. Is going to be reviled. Is going to try to be suppressed and silenced.

It was a season of intimidation. Not unlike our own age, that we are facing today in some ways. And I believe that Mordecai is standing there, and he's filled with the Spirit of God. If he could cry out, it's like his sackcloth is speaking a lesson to him.

To the Jews that walk by. To the Jews who knows what that sackcloth on this man of God means. And it's like he's saying them, never speaking a word, but by his actions. By the Spirit of God causing him to stand erect, in that morning garb.

Saying, you remember, how we were a people, turned out of the promised land, and now we are in Babylon. Because we have turned away from the living God. Because we had entangled ourselves with the gods of the land.

And it's happening again. And our enemy stands up now. And his one desire to annihilate him is now within his grasp, and he can do it in one day. Like the people of the land, or even the people of faith, they don't want a clear testimony, and this hour looks dangerous.

But beloved, I believe by the grace of God, Mordecai determined, I will be that clear testimony. In this hour, in this age, I will be this clear testimony. And beloved, I believe just by deciding to be, God gave him grace to be.

By deciding to be, by crying out, God turn me, God touch me, God I commit to you, God said good, I commit to you. By deciding to be, I come, I touch you, I give you the grace to stand. And he was a testimony.

He was a testimony. And I believe one of the greatest acts of faith that Mordecai ever did was when God told him to go to the king's gate because he was to give a message to his niece. That he knew that God was going to now give him a message to give to her.

That she had been called for this hour. And I'm wondering if he's standing there, knowing the spirit in the palace, and knowing the spirit of the age, and know what it costs him to stand. And then to turn and ask her to do something that is very costly to do.

And I wonder standing there, did he say, is there a cry? God, can you get a hold of a fearful and a compromised life? Can you get a hold of a fearful and a compromised people? Can you get a hold of somebody very visible?

Who won't be shut down by intimidation and by fear and by their own failures. Beloved, I believe he's standing there one more time. He said, yes Lord, I believe you can. And so the scripture tells us in verse 8 that Mordecai sends through Esther's servant a copy of the decree that Haman had wrote with the approval of the king.

And the scripture says in verse 8, also he gave him, Esther's servant, the copy of the writing of the decree that was given at Shushan to destroy them. To show it unto Esther. And to declare it unto her.

And to charge her that she should go in unto the king and make supplication unto him and to make requests before him for her people. And he was saying, make it very clear. Have her read it. Show it to her.

Read it to her. Make sure she understands exactly what this is all about. That the enemy of our people, his desire is to kill, destroy, plunder, to cause to perish every Jew on the face in Babylon in the land of Persia.

And you are to identify yourself. You are to go to a king who signed that request. You are to go to a king who put his ring of approval, his seal of approval on that order that Haman presented to him.

You are to go and identify yourself. You are to go and say, I am one of those that you have decreed need to be put to death. And you are to go and to make requests for your people. And the scripture tells us that Esther gave him an answer in verse 11.

And she basically said, all know that this king, whether in the kingdom or his servants throughout all the province, all know this king. And he says that no one, no one, it's a law of his, of his, that no one is to come into the inner court.

When he's sitting in the inner court, no one is to come into him in the inner court or they'll be put to death unless he extends the scepter. And she tells Mordecai very clearly in an uncertain terms.

She says, I have not been called right at the end of verse 11. But I have not been called to come into the king these 30 days. And she basically said to Mordecai, I hear what you're saying, but you have to hear what I'm saying.

I'm not allowed. I'm not called. I think the key to understanding this, of course, is she says, I haven't been called in the last 30 days to that inner court. And I've heard it said about Esther many times living in the palace.

Maybe her battle was she didn't want to give up her comfort, and that could be very true. That she's far removed from warfare and that she doesn't want to get involved. She doesn't want to know. She wants to shut her door.

And that could be true. But, beloved, I think there's something very much deeper. Why this woman is saying, I understand the situation, but don't look here. I have not been called. I will not. When she said, I have not been called these last 30 days in to see the king, I can hear on one level the voice of the orphan speaking.

The doubt that really God would call her. The fears and the self-doubt. Because when saying, I haven't been called to him in 30 days, it's gone a month since he's thought of me or called for me. You see, the reality is in my situation there are many concubines.

There are many other wives. And my place in the king's heart is probably not totally secure. You know, beloved, I think there's so much in that. But I think that many of us when God wants to get our attention and speak things to us that we can barely hear, one of our first defenses in not hearing is saying, God, you can't speak this to me because I feel like I've lost my place in you.

I feel like I've lost my place in you. I've tried to please you and you've saved me and I love you, but there are so many others that can please you better than I do. And there are so many others who could do what you're asking.

Lord, I look at myself and I just have to say no. And there are others in the kingdom and I see you use them. I see the fiery anointing come on them. I see the revelation. I see their purity. I see, I see, I see.

And we see with our own eyes what we're seeing. But it becomes a defense to us. You know, Esther probably felt one of her biggest battles is, you see, I'm not needed. And some sitting here day after day could honestly say, God, I thank you for saving me and I hear that you want to use everyone, but there's a cost to this and I know me, I know my track record, and I think you need to look elsewhere.

And it's like, God, I will be content, I'll be saved, but I don't want to step up to the battleground. I don't want to volunteer because this is hard now and I know me. And I think that there is, it's like, God, you have to know how empty I am at this moment.

You have to know how empty I am. You have to know how when I look around and I see people that seem so full of the fire of God, but I am empty. I am fearful. Maybe, God, I felt you've asked me to do something before and I missed my chance.

There is just so much unbelief, not in the King's presence for 30 days, many times speaks to our prayerlessness. God, I'm not the prayer warrior. I'm not called. And like Esther, she says to Mordecai, I'm not called.

Esther's Fear and Mordecai's Challenge

Now, beloved, Mordecai gives her a very direct answer. We would think, you know, this is time for the pep talk. This is time for saying, you know, all things are possible to them that believe. But you see, that wasn't the remedy.

That wasn't the issue. The Bible tells us in verse 13, Mordecai answers her. Then Mordecai commanded to answer Esther, think not with thyself that thou shall escape in the King's house more than all the Jews.

Mordecai answered her what she needed to hear. Maybe not what she wanted to hear, but what she needed to hear. And he said, don't think that you shall escape. Do not think that you will escape by saying, I can't do it, God.

You're asking what you're asking me to do. Don't think you're going to escape because the initial reaction is no, I can't. I shouldn't. I'm not able. I'm fearful. I'm prayerless. I'm not needed. Look somewhere else.

Don't think you'll escape because by saying no or by saying, God, I'm not the deliverer type, then God will change His mind or something is changed. No, Mordecai says in verse 14, for if thou altogether hold thy peace at this time, then shall there be enlargement, then shall there be deliverance, a rise to the Jews from another place.

God is saying to her, if you hold your peace at this time, if you say no, you have to know something, Esther. Deliverance is coming. Enlargement is coming. God is saying in this darkest of times, in this most desperate of times, God is saying, I am commanding deliverance now.

I am commanding it. There is deliverance coming. There is deliverance coming to my people. There is enlargement coming. I'll tell you that right now. There is coming. And no power of hell, no amount of unbelief, no amount of opposition is going to stay my hand.

I have commanded deliverance. And He's saying, I am calling you to arise in this place in my strength, Esther. I am calling you to arise in this place, in this time, in my strength. But He says, but if you draw back.

Esther, if you draw back. Verse 14, He says, But thou and thy father's house shall be destroyed. God is saying, you see, this is now, you have to understand the times. He's saying it's a destroying time.

But not like we think. God is saying, I am destroying. But I am destroying. What destroyed the testimony of my people Israel? You see, what is rising up in you, Esther? What is pervasive in the minds and the heart of my people in this land?

What has been the root cause of me having to turn them out of the land of promise in the first place? He says, I am set now to destroy it. I have emptied my land and I have cleansed my land. And I have taken all the unbelievers out of it.

And I have brought a people to Babylon to chastise them under the yoke and the hand of their enemies. But now I've got a people there that I am commanding the deliverance. And my spirit is going to go through this land and I'm going to stir those that can hear.

Because I have determined now is the time of deliverance. And he's saying to her, Esther, I'm in a destroying time. But don't think that if you draw back you shall escape this destroying. Because what was causing the withering and the fading and the unbelief in my people and in their hearts, if you draw back then that still grips you.

That's still at the center of your heart and mind. And I'm committed to destroying it. Because I have a people after this I'm going to lead out of Persia, out of Babylon. I'm going to lead a cleansed people, a believing people, a chastised people back into the land of Israel.

I'm leading them back in. And they're going to believe me. I'm going to be precious to them. And my word to them is going to be a living word. And they are going to rebuild the temple, Solomon's temple that was destroyed.

I am rebuilding now with this kind of people, this kind of heart. And the glory of the latter house shall be greater than the first. And beloved, that temple that that cleansed people that were led back from Babylon into Israel that second time, they built the temple the Lord Jesus Christ preached in.

Did you see there was a big... God says, Esther, if you draw back, you and your father's house, that root of unbelief, that allowing the defeatistness and the entangling in the land of the gods of Babylon and all that they embrace there, it's in your spirit.

But I'm here to destroy it and I'm here to deliver those that can hear me. And Esther, if you can hear it, I'm speaking to you. It is my hour to move my hand. He was saying to her, Esther, you tell, you say, I cannot, I cannot, I am not called, I'm not called.

And yet it's like the spirit of God speaking to her and telling her, another king's word is controlling you. Another king's word is controlling you. You have another Lord that dominates you with fear and unbelief and it is His word that rules your mind.

And that is what I am set to destroy. The unbelief and the idol worship, the things that are set up high in your heart and mind above what I am saying to you. I'm committed to destroying that. That's why I emptied the land.

That's why I'm going after it in my people. But now is the time of deliverance. I'm going to take my people. I'm going to destroy that testimony in them. They are chastised and they're open to my word now.

It is a day of deliverance. But my word to Esther, you and your father's house will be destroyed if you draw back. But he's saying, but my word to you, Esther, is this. Who knows whether you are come to the kingdom for such a time as this.

Understand the times you're living in, Esther. And know that I have chosen you and I have called you to rise in this place. To believe me that now is a day of deliverance. I have commanded the deliverance.

It is time. And if you can't hear it. If you can't receive it. Then what is destroying my testimony in you will destroy you and engulf you completely. But it's not a threat, Esther. You've got to hear me.

I'm choosing you in your weakness, in your prayerlessness. In everything about you that you feel disqualifies you from me choosing you. I am the Lord over it. And shut down other lords, other kings' voices.

Bend your knee and acknowledge that I, your Lord, am speaking to you. I'm commanding deliverance for you. And I'm commanding deliverance through you. Hallelujah. So he says to her, who knows whether you are come to the kingdom for such a time as this.

“For Such a Time as This”

Beloved, have you heard that today? Have you heard the Spirit of God say that to you today? Is there something welling up saying, God, destroy all the idol worship and the unbelief in me. God, I'm going to look away from myself.

I'm hearing you saying it is to me that you're commanding an hour of deliverance if I will arise. If you're saying that it's to come through me, God, that can only be you. Because I'd never think that thought.

And no one around me else would either. God, I'm going to arise in your strength. I'm going to arise in your strength, on the strength of your word that is life and living. It has to be life to put me on my seat.

Beloved, when we look at that word, art come, in verse 14. I found an incredible thing when I looked up that word, art come. When it says, and who knows whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this.

Verse 14. Art come means, not what you think it means. It means the enabling touch of God to smite, beat and punish. And really what it's saying is, who knows whether you are going to have, if you want it, the enabling touch of God to smite, beat and punish every enemy of mine and yours in the kingdom for such a time as this.

That's what that verse means. The call is going out to those who can hear. And God says, I'm going to put my enabling touch. I'm going to touch you and you are going to be enabled to smite and punish and destroy that which had kept you in captivity.

We heard it at 3 o 'clock. We're hearing it again today. It is time. The hour of deliverance is now for those that can hear it. God says, I'm going to defeat what's been defeating you. Arise, Esther. And I'm going to put such a touch on your life.

And you're going to know it is me that what you have is so precious that it will never be taken from you. And no amount of intimidation, no threats from the enemy, no him throwing up your past. Every place where we bow down before in fear and failure, we are going to be enabled to stand in a delivering power.

Not because of who we are. We know who we are. We're Esther. But his word to us is arise. Deliverance. My deliverance is at hand. Stand in it. Believe in it. It's yours. It's yours. Receive it. The Lord is saying, arise and believe me.

Because I have called you for such a time as this. When it's the darkest. When it's the worst. When you and I have felt the weakest. When you and I feel the most emptiest. When you and I know it's impossible in our own sight and understanding that we could be a deliverer.

Beloved, that's who God delights in calling to be deliverers. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. And glory to God. She heard that word. And the scripture says then, Esther bade them return to Mordecai with this answer.

Tell him to go fast. And we will fast. And I will go in. It's not according to the law of the land. But that stronghold of fear. That stronghold of intimidation. That stronghold that said I will only fail when I attempt great things from God.

It's going to be broken. I will go in. I will go in. And I believe that three days of fasting was connected with the line that says, I will go in. Which is not according to the law. But the last line of verse 16 says, And if I perish, I perish.

Such was the determination that the living word of God could create in her. From a woman who started out saying, I have not been called. And I can't. To God I hear you. I will arise and believe you. And go in your strength.

And if I perish, I perish. But I'm not going back to the emptiness. And I'm not going back to living in a cave of unbelief. I'm not going back where I'm dominated by another king's voice. That rules me and intimidates me.

And tries to convince me because I'm living in a palace. All is well. All is not well. I'm going to arise because the word of the God to me. It is now is the time of deliverance. He has commanded it for me.

He has commanded it for my family. Now. And I'm going to arise and believe him for it. She says, if I perish, I perish. I love that line because it says to me something is going to be destroyed here. And it's her fear and her self-doubt, those strongholds are going.

Esther's Courage and the Reversal of Haman's Plot

Now, beloved. Scripture says Esther goes to the king after three days. And she asks the king and Haman to a banquet. Now, I like this part of the story. She goes in and the king says to her, what do you want?

And she says, I don't know. She says, come back the next day. And, beloved, I don't know whether it was, you know, all of a sudden after three days of fasting. And it's like, God, you have to go with me.

You have to go with me. I don't know what to say. I don't know what. I don't know how this is going to turn out. I mean, the king himself has signed this decree. What's he going to do when he finds out I'm a Jew?

I might be perishing. But she goes in. And the king is favorable to her. And he says, what do you want? And finally she says, come back tomorrow with Haman. And, beloved, that speaks to me. That there was a very sleepless night.

There was a night of reckoning in her. Has anybody been there? We come to an altar. We make a declaration in our heart. With all our heart, we want this. We want, God, I want Your will. I want to live for You.