If Ernest Movie Characters Were Churches

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In our "If they were churches" series, today we ask what it would be like to see different characters from the classic Ernest movies (played by Jim Varney) as churches. #cwac #christiancomedy #christianhumor #churchhumor #calvinism #churchcomedy #ernestmovies #ernestpworrell #knowwhatImeanvern

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00:00
I want you to cut yourself a big knock out of these eggs, Erroneous.
00:07
No, I can't eat on an empty stomach.
00:09
But she's saving Cecily for that American chap she's such a fan of.
00:14
The one who so frequently says, Know what I mean, Vern? Common persons like you often have limited vocabularies and have to depend on hand gestures to communicate.
00:26
Don't ever, ever do this to a family of badgers.
00:29
Have a deliberately, deliberately, deliberately, deliberately, deliberately...
00:36
A one, a two, a one, two, three.
00:40
Remember me and you, and you and me.
00:43
No matter how they toss the dice, it had to be.
00:46
Do you like this? Are accessories important? I think very much so, for hunters especially.
00:50
I know.
00:51
You never know when an animal is just gonna jump on you and you don't know if he's gonna match your coat.
00:55
Is it, or if he's going to become one? I did it! I took the Lindbergh, baby! I am Joseph Mingala! Honey, the secret to lasting beauty was discovered in the early 1950s, and its name was hairspray.
01:12
Bye! Great chance to turtle dust.
01:23
Death from above.
01:24
That's good.
01:25
216 by 121.
01:27
I'm scared, Sarge.
01:28
Well, okay, ready? Is it...
01:35
Oh, hey, hey.
01:37
All right, good.
01:37
All right, it's working.
01:38
All right, good.
01:39
Ho, ho, ho, Vern.
01:40
Very good.
01:42
Looks like I got myself another hostage.
01:45
Too bad.
01:46
I thought you were dead.
01:49
Not yet.
01:51
What they wanted was a hero.
01:55
All I needed was a friend.
01:59
I have never known when to quit.
02:01
Just ask my fourth-grade teacher.
02:05
He never knew when to quit.
02:08
Oh! That's life for you.
02:12
You have two sons, one good, one bad.
02:16
And wouldn't you know it, with my luck, the good one dies.
02:21
Let me see.
02:32
It's about an alien from outer space, and he comes and he terrorizes a bunch of kids over Christmas vacation.
02:38
Terrorizes children, did you say? At Christmas? Yeah.
02:44
My motto is, I never met a bad kid.
02:47
Then let me introduce you to some.
02:52
How about a bumper sandwich, booger lips? Bumper! Way to go.
03:02
You got him, Ramshot.
03:16
Hey, guys, it's Keith, and thank you for watching that video.