Who Will Deliver Me? — Erlo Stegen

I stand up, so we pray, we thank you Lord for these opportunities to gather around your word, especially at this time of the youth conference, we pray that you would meet with us in a marvellous way. Be in our midst and work in a way that is above our asking or understanding.

Let your name be glorified. Your name which is above every name in heaven and on earth. Let it be your day, O Lord. Work among the children of men by your spirit and by your word. Amen. Our theme text for this youth conference is Romans 7, 24.

The Wretched Man and the Need for Deliverance

Wretched man that I am, who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So the theme verse for the conference, being wretched man that I am, who will deliver me?

We'll speak about this matter, who will deliver you? I'd like to share with you a story that happened in 1967. After the Holy Spirit was poured out. One day a new man came to me, one night. I didn't know him, neither did he know me.

I was already in bed. He knocked. I said he should come in, be seated. Then I asked him what the matter was. He said, oh, I'm such a troubled person, there's no one on earth troubled as I am. I don't know what's going to help me and who will deliver me.

He said, I can only see one way out and that is suicide, that I hang myself. I said, you speak man. Tell me your story. He said, I've grown up in a poor home. My parents didn't have the money to pay for me to go to school.

But I love to learn. Then my parents made every effort and so I was able to go through school and finish. And from the beginning I had the desire to be a preacher. So that after I finished school, I would go to a Bible school to study theology.

And so I joined a college. I began my studies. I was delighted and I said to myself, well, my childhood desires to be a preacher is coming into fulfillment. Very often, that which a child desires is what it will become later.

A child becomes what it really wants to be when it's grown up. If a little child is rebellious and stubborn, parents know that later on it will be like that. Except that it will be far worse because now it's under your care.

You're looking after your child, but later on it will be filled with the stubborn head of the devil. The mother of the two Wesley boys said, you need to bend the will of a child. If it is rebellious and self-willed and you haven't bent it by the age of three, you'll never get it right.

And so at Bible college, he was thrilled to be there and he said to himself, well, this is all I have wished for. I wanted to be a preacher. I've had no other wish for a career, not to make money, but to be a minister.

Sexual Sin, Secrecy, and Hypocrisy

Then he told me while he was at Bible college, Satan came in and things got messed up. He said, I was infatuated with a girl and I thought so much of her. She entered my heart. He began to flirt with her, to chatter up, to get as close as he could to her.

Instead of fleeing youthful lusts, he got closer to it. Then he did what no unmarried person should do. And the girl sent a message to him, I'm pregnant. He said, I'm pregnant. He was shocked. And said, what?

I have a child? He sent word to her, don't tell a soul, keep it secret. But how long can you keep such a thing secret? Jesus said, as crowds thronged around him, till they were almost trampling on each other, there were so many.

Thronged, throngs around him, he then spoke especially to his disciples. Saying, beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, the yeast, which is hypocrisy. For there is nothing hidden that shall not be revealed.

Or secret that shall not be exposed. For all that you speak in the darkness, in secret, will be made known in public. Even that which you've whispered into others' ears, in your bedrooms. Will be shouted out upon the rooftops.

But I say to you, friends, do not be afraid of those who can kill only the body. And can do nothing after that. But I'm going to show you, the one whom you should fear. Fear him, he who after he has killed, has the power to throw one into hell.

Yes, I say unto you, fear him. In other words, anything that is in the darkness and secret will be exposed, there is no other way. And he said, even that which you've whispered in your bedrooms will be shouted with loudspeakers on rooftops.

Before heaven and earth. And those under the earth will hear. Even that which you've whispered into others' ears will be shouted with loudspeakers on rooftops. And he said, even that which you've whispered in your bedrooms will be shouted with loudspeakers on rooftops.

Even that which you have, the Lord promises, even that will be exposed. Though you might try ever so carefully to cover up something, God will expose it. It will remain secret if God dies, but he hasn't died yet.

A certain person in America who said, God is dead, there is no God. He said, well, when an important person dies, a funeral is announced, but I haven't yet heard of this great funeral. If God Almighty, the Creator, has died, I would also attend his funeral, but I haven't yet been invited to such a funeral.

And you too haven't yet been to his funeral. And since God is alive, he is there, everything that you keep secret, God will make sure is exposed. That's why That's why Jesus warned them about the yeast or the leaven of the Pharisees.

He said they are hypocrites because they make a great show of religion and they pretend and hide things. Even though something is kept as a deep secret by you, the Lord at the end will make sure that it will come to light.

The Consequences of Sin and Collapse of Human Plans

Now this theological student said, I don't know how it came about, but though I told her, don't tell a soul about our secret. The next thing he was called by the rector of the college and told to come.

It was a big theological college. He said, tell me, is it true what I hear that you are in love with this girl and that she is pregnant? And so as he was squirming on his seat, wondering whether he should say the truth, he thought, well, perhaps the truth does set free.

Let me just say it. And he told them the truth. He said, yes, it is so. The rector. He said, as sad as I am to hear this, I cannot but ask you to leave. You have broken the rules of the college. This is a minister's college.

After all, you've broken the rules of the Bible. You've got to pack your suitcase and go. It was as though he was hit on the head by a knob-carry. As if though he wanted to faint. It was the greatest shock he had had.

It was as if though his whole future crumbled before his eyes. All his plans and dreams about his future just broke into small pieces right there. He went out punch drunk. Went and packed his belongings.

He was wiping tears. His heart was broken. He was wondering, where will I go? He thought of going to the local town and looking for a job. Looking for some employment. He had no money to pay dowry for the girl.

He was bankrupt. The parents of the girl hated him. They bemoaned their fate that though they had been married themselves in purity, such a shame had been brought upon their family. And eventually he found some job.

But it didn't work out. But everything seemed to... Everything seemed to be pointless and he lost his job. There was no blessing on anything he did. Even the money. Even the little bit of money he earned, which he had hoped to put away to pay dowry eventually for her to marry her.

But how can you live without some money for yourself? And so he then looked for a different job. He tried as he may, it didn't work out for him, even there he was fired. And so he then looked for a different job.

I'll pay you back later when I've got a job. But even that money and... But even that money and... He then went to another friend and said, look, I am stone broke. He explained his sad tale to him and he said, just give me a bit of money and I'll pay you back later.

But one thing happened upon the other, he got word from his girlfriend, I'm pregnant again. He felt as if though he was sinking into the mire, as if though he was drowning, it was about to cover his head.

Try as he could to get out of the mire, he just could not. His debts. His debts. His debts climbed one upon the other. Then his friend, to whom he owed the amount, came and said, give me back my money.

And they said, you didn't even apologise, you just kept quiet about it, you must pay back now. Till eventually he thought there's only one way out, suicide, to hang himself. He was already making plans about which place and which tree he should use, and which rope he would use to hang himself with.

Revival Singing and the Call to Seek Help

Then he went to another place, and I'm not going to mention particular details just to protect his family, though he and his wife are now deceased, but his offspring are still alive. He went to a certain area, where he went into a shop, and as he went out the shop he heard people singing.

And he thought, what sweet singing, charged with the power of heaven, like electricity. He thought, I must go and get closer to listen. And he drew closer to them. Stood outside that building, then he went inside.

And he found a crowd inside, it wasn't so big, but they're singing, it was as if though he heard singing for the first time like that. And he thought, I must go and get closer to listen. And he drew closer to them.

And he thought, I must go and get closer to listen. And he thought, I must go and get closer to listen. Their singing needed no accompaniment, because it was full of revival power, the instruments were in their hearts, because organs are only necessary for people who have lost their first love.

The singing was so marvelous to him, it touched him so deeply. He said, these people are filled with heaven. They haven't been taught, this isn't practiced, this is real singing from the heart. He was transported from hell into heaven, it felt.

It was as if though suddenly things were changing, because he could no longer sleep by that time, he was so troubled by what had happened to him. This singing so touched him, it was like oil poured out upon his wounds.

He sat till the end of the service, but there was no preacher. There were only new Christians there who had just got converted. They had just got converted. This crowd of Christians was drawn together because of the love of the Lord ruling in their midst.

They couldn't but be together, like smokers or drawn attracted to each other, drunkards to each other, but Christians, they have the fire of the Lord in their midst. They had no preacher, one would just pray, one would share.

They would read scripture, at the end of that service he went to the one who seemed to be in charge and he shared what his problem was. He felt that this was just above his strength. He said, look, I am not a preacher.

He said, look, brother, I can't really help you myself, but there is one who can help you. Go to a preacher, Pastor Stegen at Mapumulu, go and ask for him there. I am not a preacher myself, he said. So he came to Mapumulu in the evening.

Prayer, Confession, and Deliverance from Sin

That's how he found his way to me there at night while I was in bed. And so he poured out his heart to this lovely, young, bright, intelligent young man. And he then shared the story. I was sorry for him.

I cried. I cried. I said, look, I am in no financial position to help you, but I can pray with you. I can pray with you to the one who is able to help you and deliver you. I can pray with you to the one who is able to help you and deliver you.

And as we prayed, sharing and saying, Lord, you are the creator, the almighty God, the owner of heaven and earth, the one who owns the silver and the gold. Wouldn't you help him? Wouldn't you deliver this young man who only sees death in front of him and he thinks that only death will deliver him from his misery?

So we prayed and said, Amen. I said, now go. There is a room over there and I said there are others who will help you to have a bed for the night. I don't know whether it was 10 or 11 at night. I don't remember the time anymore.

In the morning, the sun, I don't know whether it had come out properly. It was about four. I heard a knock. I said, come in. And he entered. It was him again. He said, excuse me, pastor. I've met up with something.

I said, sit down. Tell me what. What? He said, I couldn't sleep at night. He said, I hadn't been able to sleep at night anymore, but when those who help you showed me to that bedroom, I slept like a little baby.

It was as if my burden had been cast upon the Lord. He said, as I slept, I dreamt. I dreamt that I was in a road, a road that led to heaven, but was full of difficulty. And going up hill and vale through bushes and forests, and I was all alone.

I felt like I had not a friend in the world. I felt like I had not a friend in the world. He said, it would go up and then down across rivers and then uphill again. In his dream, he said to himself, I am deserted by everybody.

Not even a friend is with me. He said to himself, I am deserted by everybody. He said, then suddenly on my path, I met up with a brick wall. I almost walked right into it. It had no window, no door, a solid wall.

And I felt as if the God was on the other side and I was on the side. He called out for help from God, but his prayers seemed to be like a ball that he was just throwing at the wall and would bounce back.

His prayers weren't reaching the other side. He thought of climbing it, but he looked at the height, it was impossible to climb. He looked to the side, he thought he'd walk around it, but he couldn't see the end of it.

And the same in the other direction. It was an amazing wall. He thought, what am I going to do? It's impossible to get across and here it's blocking my path, I can make no progress. Then he heard the voice of the Lord saying, and with his name, do you see this wall?

He said, yes. This voice said, you have built this wall. He said, but Lord, I am not a builder, I haven't laid any bricks, I don't know how to do it. But the voice said, every single brick you have laid.

Saying, every single brick is a sin which you have placed building your own wall. The wall of sin, from childhood, stealing sugar, lying, fighting, you are putting down bricks, another brick, and it's so big.

You can't see the end, you can't climb over it, it's your sins. And then he remembered a particular sin of his, a very big sin. It was filled with remorse. He felt his guilt. He was so convicted. He said, oh my God, I have sinned, please God forgive me.

He said, oh my God, I have sinned, please God forgive me. He, as he cried about his sin and asked for forgiveness, he heard what sounded like a massive hammer on the other side, and then a brick flew out of the wall, down into a pit, disappearing.

He saw a hole in the wall. He thought of another sin that he remembered. He said, oh Lord, I have sinned in that too. Then again, a massive brick was blasted out of this wall and disappeared, not to be seen again.

The hole became bigger. Then he woke up. When he had awoken, it was as if his It was as if his whole life passed before his eyes, like a film, like a video. Every sin, it just seemed to be so real to him.

He knew how to write. He had a beautiful writing. He was very intelligent. He got up, his sleep ended, opened his suitcase, took out a writing pad, and he wrote down. He wrote all his sins as they passed before his eyes.

He said, oh Lord, I have sinned in that too. He said, oh Lord, I have sinned in that too. He said, I couldn't sleep anymore. I wrote down all those sins that I could see that came to me, and I've come to you so early, but please pray with me that the Lord Jesus would wash me with his precious blood.

We went to the cross together. And as we prayed, Lord Jesus, hear these sins that you have shown him. You have said that the one who comes to you, you will in no wise cast out and that we should come to you if we are burdened and heavy laden.

Lord Jesus, please relieve him of these sins. And I said to him, now God is not a liar. Satan is the liar, the father of lies and liars. But God is fully trustworthy. He is faithful for he has said, he who confesses his sins, he will forgive, he will cleanse, and he will wash them.

And though your sins are as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow. And he will write down in his book, he will record that you confessed your sins, he will forgive. For God has said, he who covers his sins shall not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes his sins will obtain grace.

And so we parted. It didn't take long and he was back again. And I said to him, now God is not a liar. Satan is the liar, the father of lies and liars. And I said to him, now God is not a liar. Satan is the liar, the father of lies and liars.

He said, I remember other sins. And so he poured out his heart morning and night. For a whole week he poured out his sins, not wanting a single brick to remain between him and God, that there would be no barrier between him and the Lord with his prayers.

I said to him, you know what? I said to him, you know what? Although I haven't read it in the Bible before, but now I find it. God has spoken to you. I was reminded of the epistle of John, he who says he has no sin is a liar, but he who confesses sin and forsakes sin, he will obtain mercy.

And in the Old Testament and in the New Testament, verses came to me, became so alive in the reality of what he was experiencing. And I said, oh Lord, how wonderful it is. Every day, every night, he was busy the whole time.

For the whole week he said, I don't forget any sin of this wall which I have put up. I want to confess every brick I want. I was reminded of Isaiah 59 where it says, Behold, the hand of the Lord is not shortened that it cannot save, neither is his ear deaf, but your sins have created a separation between you and God that he does not hear.

Your hands are full of blood. Your lips have spoken lies. It was so full of revelation. I said, oh Lord, thank you. It's like I'm in your school. I said, oh Lord, thank you. Those faiths had been full of depression and heaviness and hardness in the beginning.

But day by day, his face seemed to be ever brighter. It was as if though the light had been switched on. It was like it was an electric globe that had been turned on. I said, oh Lord, I thank you. Every day brighter.

I said, you pray because the hand of the Lord is not shortened towards you. His ear is not deaf to you. A businessman came and said, look, I need a person to work in my butchery at a shop. Do you have anybody?

And I said, yes, actually, here is a person. And so he began to work there. And whatever his hands touched was blessed. And so by the beginning of March, end of the financial time, the owner of the businesses came to me and said, out of all my businesses, his has made the most profit.

And he was earning a salary. The owner of the business came and said, look, he can pay off his dowry. And if something is still left that he needs to pay, I will pay for him. And so he began to work in his butchery.

And he was earning a salary. The owner of the business came and said, look, I need a person to work in my butchery at a shop. Do you have anybody? And so all his debts could be paid off and his dowry.

He was able to get married to her and enjoy a happy family life with his wife and the two children. And he was propagating the gospel right there where he was. It was marvelous. We saw darkness turning into light for him and death turning into life.

He often shared with me and he said, you know, I have a burden on my heart to go to my people in Lesotho to share with them the gospel and what the Lord has done for me that they too find deliverance.

A Second Story: A Christian’s Fall into Crime

Woe unto me, wretched man that I am, who will deliver me? But I thank God through Jesus Christ. Now let me end with a story. Before I got to Mapumulu when I was still preaching, I was at Mbalana at the time going to different places preaching the gospel.

A certain boy had committed himself and on holiday, during holiday times, he would come to me to go with me out and preaching the gospel. He was like a son from the Kamane family from the Kingscliff area.

But the boy's father was like a madman, wanted nothing to do with Christianity. His mother had been beaten by the husband when she became a Christian to such an extent one night that she had to crawl away in the grass to escape.

He had said, I don't want any Christian in my home, I don't want my wife to be a believer. He worked in Durban. I visited her and saw her wounds. She had crawled away trying to escape. I said, be strong in the Lord, persevere, even though our faith brings suffering, there's a reward in heaven.

And then her little child got converted. And every holiday he would come to me, was like my own son, saying, Father, when I grow up, I want to go with you to preach the gospel. And he really was a living testament.

Couldn't wait for school to finish to preach the gospel. When he finished school, the father came and said, now boy, I have come to fetch you to come to Durban, you need to work now. He said, Father, but I had hoped to preach the gospel.

He said, no, you listen to me, I am your father and you do it as I say. And he took him to Durban and that's where he disappeared. He worked there. I would ask after him, only news I got was that he was with his father working in Durban and he was forced to be there.

But after a time I got a message that he was in jail for a very serious crime with five others. He had been in a gang, robbing, stealing, had attacked somebody, he had his knife, he had pulled out his knife, had stabbed that person with his knife, had stolen their money.

And again, his knife was used in yet another attack, even though he hadn't done it himself. Then it was said he was transferred to a Pretoria prison where his trial was to be held. After quite a few weeks, his trial was held and so all six were sentenced to death, to be hanged.

Keeping Promises to God and Learning from Judgment

The boy cried bitterly. Their boss, the leader of the gang, laughed at him, mocked him and said, what you're a girl, you're crying like a little child. But then he wrote me a letter. Now I don't know where I have mislaid that letter because after that area I went to Mapumulu, then Sizaba, and then Sizaba.

In the letter he said, please tell everybody, every church about my story. Tell all the churches about my experience. He quoted the Old Testament saying, where it says, if you make a promise, woe to you if you do not keep it.

I would read that letter every so often and I would cry each time. There was no letter that stirred me as much as that one did. I phoned I phoned Pastor Voldemar up there in Johannesburg. I said, look, I'm far away, but you are closer.

Go to him. Go and visit him often. Comfort him. He became a close friend as he visited him very often in jail. And then one day policemen came to their cells and said, you, you and you, tomorrow you are to be executed.

His boss, the one who was their gang leader, burst into tears. This was then himself like a little child when he was faced with the reality of the death he would face the next day. The next morning, Pastor Voldemar went to him, prayed with him.

And this boy said, Pastor Stegen, here is another letter for him. I would so wish to have that letter again. To read to you, it stirred me. It would stir you as he shared in that letter, read it to everybody.

If you make a promise to God, make sure you keep it. Learn from my story. I got the message that the next day they were to be hanged. The judge said, it wasn't just one person you killed, but a second one.

And though you hadn't done the stabbing, it was your knife, you were part of it. And so, Pastor Voldemar went to the hangman's cell and on the way he was singing as if though he was seeing heaven. The others were dead quiet, including his boss.

One, two, three, four, five, six. He was then stopped at the execution cell where the others were then led in and he only then heard the trap door as they were hung. He said, I could hear him singing till the trap door was sprung and there was sudden silence.

He went home, he couldn't eat, dinner, supper. The next day, he said, Olo, I just can't eat. I have lost all strength through that which I've witnessed. The father and mother of that boy were then shown his corpse.

They came and told me about it. I said, what was it like? He said, it was very sad. He was full of life and the next moment they were shown his corpse. He said, please, in his letter to me, go and tell Christians everywhere, go to all the churches that they learn from my lesson.

If they've made a promise, even as a child, to keep it. Otherwise, learn from me. Woe to me. Wretched man that I am, who will deliver me? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ. Let's bow our heads and pray.

Surrendering Completely to Christ

Here are your people, Lord, kneeling before you, saying, Lord, we surrender to you. Take my heart, my body, my spirit, take everything of me. Lord, I give myself to you today. Amen.