TLP 188: A Parent’s 5 Jobs, Part 5 | Trainer

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No one can train who refuses to submit to the reinterpretation of their lives and start to correct their course, if they continue the way they've been going with their training to fail.

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Welcome to Truth. Love. Parent. Where we use God's Word to become intentional, premeditated parents.

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Here's your host, A .M. Brewster. Today we're looking at the final job to which God has called every

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Christian. And for the Christian parent, this is the final job God has for you in your parenting. But if you haven't heard the rest of the series, you really need to go back to the beginning in episode 184.

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The last four jobs make up the warp and woof of the first job. We do the last four in order to do the first well.

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In addition to that, the other four jobs build on each other. You can't do the third without doing the second. You can't do the fourth without the second and third.

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So it'd be wise to know what those are. But before we do that, I want to remind you about our first ever TLP meetup in Dallas, Texas.

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On Monday, the 17th, 2018, Matt and Sonia will open up their home and you're invited to attend. Just send an email to teamTLP at truthloveparent .com

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or go to our Facebook page and click going on our event page. And while you're on Facebook, will you please take a moment to rate and review us?

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It would be a huge blessing. With new analytics, I'm starting to think that Facebook reviews may be more powerful than iTunes reviews.

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So if you've ever left us an iTunes review, maybe you could drop by and do one on Facebook for us as well. Either way, we appreciate the kind words and it's a great help in introducing new people to the show.

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By the way, if it's after the 17th, 2018, and you're thinking to yourself, is there another TLP meetup?

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You can go to truthloveparent .com to find out and you can also contact us if you'd like to host one. And lastly,

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I want to share this email with you. It was so encouraging. It's from a long time listener and this is what she said,

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I just want to thank you again for pouring into my life and the lives of so many others. The podcast speaks practically and effectively, communicating what

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God wants me to hear each and every time. I'm certain that the same is true for other listeners. God is so amazing.

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She then shared a picture of Niagara Falls with a beautiful rainbow springing out of it. And she wrote, this picture made me think of our lives, how they can be flowing along beautifully at times, then may hit a few currents before tumbling and careening completely out of control over a ledge, leaving seemingly nothing but a deafening roar and blinding mist.

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But yet, in that mist, God is present, as seen in the beautiful rainbow that reaches all the way down into the mist from heaven above.

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Like Hebrews 6 tells us, we have this hope as an anchor for our souls, even in the worst we can know that the rainbow of God's love is there, unmoving like an anchor, just waiting for us to grab onto.

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Have a beautiful day. Isn't that encouraging? I told you it would be. I don't know where you are in your parenting journey today, but I pray this word of truth will help tune your mind to the reality that God is good and is at work in your life, even though it may be a bumpy ride right now.

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Okay, and now the fifth job for the fifth parent. The final job comes from the last part of the verse, 2

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Timothy 3, 16. All scripture is breathed out by God and is profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.

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We all want children to be men and women of God. We want them to be mature and equipped for every good work.

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In order to do that, we need to be ambassador parents who use God's Word to accomplish the purposes for which

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He created it. Therefore, the ambassador parent is an educator who teaches her children what is right and wrong.

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The ambassador parent is an interpreter. Like a spiritual philosopher and pastor, he helps his children understand when they've embraced a worldview that contradicts

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God's truth. The ambassador parent is a counselor who admonishes and disciples her children by showing them how to correct the trajectory of their lives.

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And the ambassador parent is a trainer. Those of you who've been with us for a while will hopefully remember episode 94.

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It's actually one of my favorite episodes because it answers an age -old struggle that parents have had with Proverbs 22 6, train up a child in the way he should go.

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Even when he's old, he will not depart from it. In that episode, we learned how that verse is not a general principle, but a promise.

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If you haven't heard it, I'd listen to it as soon as possible if I were you. It will revolutionize your parenting, just like, of course,

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God's Word always does. So building off that foundation, when we truly understand how training is different from education, interpretation, and counseling, we can start to help our children participate in that training.

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But before we dive into the principles for training, we need to also understand that though it's different from education, interpretation, and counseling, it requires all of them in order to work.

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You'll never be able to train your children well if you don't educate them in Christ. You will never train your children to stay with God if you don't help them submit to God's interpretation of their lives.

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And you'll never train your children well if you don't know how to counsel them, help them change the trajectory of their lives.

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You need to know the merest Christianity, the very foundation of why your kids do what they do.

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You can learn all about that starting in episode 95, and if you only listen to one series in this whole podcast, that would be the one

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I'd encourage you to listen to. Once you understand the merest Christianity, you will develop a yearning for the truth of God's word, and as you grow and are matured in Christ, you will become a better ambassador who can teach, interpret, counsel, and eventually train your children.

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So training requires constant education, reproof, and correction. I mean, isn't that how piano lessons or martial arts classes work?

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The instructor teaches you the desired method, and as you practice, the instructor helps you see where you're doing it wrong.

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Of course, you can ignore the instructor, continue doing it wrong, waste your money, never earn your black belt, and potentially be dismissed from the class, or you can just submit to the reproof.

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And then, when you've embraced the reality that you must follow the instructor, he can help you correct the poor stances and the improper method.

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And it's at that point that you truly begin your training. Actually, if we're going to be more accurate, training is not something you start or begin, it's something that you continue starting, continue beginning.

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Have you ever seen a world -class gymnast or figure skater in their 40s or 50s? Needless to say, most aren't training anymore, and though they're still the same inside, their outer man is a little worse for the wear.

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Just because they started training doesn't mean they'll continue in it. And the spiritual process is similar. God wants us to daily submit, daily take up our cross, and daily follow

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Him. We need to be like Paul who said, I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest, after preaching to others,

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I myself should be disqualified. But the beautiful thing about spiritual training is that it's

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God who does the bulk of the work. Philippians 2 .13 says, this is God who works in you both to will and to work for His good pleasure.

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No one can train who refuses to submit to the reinterpretation of their lives and start to correct their course.

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If they continue the way they've been going, they're training to fail. So let's review the two foundational truths.

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Number one, training requires that we know how to and are engaged in educating, interpreting, and counseling our kids.

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And number two, we can only begin the training process once our children have submitted to the reinterpretation and participated in the counseling.

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Then and only then can we hope to help them continue their training. Remember what we said last time.

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If our children don't submit to the reproof, then we cycle back and continue moving between teaching and interpreting until they submit.

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Then we work on helping them dig out of the hole they've created, and once they're out of the grave, they can start truly living.

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Now, let's talk about the steps required in training. The word translated training in 2

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Timothy is used six times in Scripture. Let's find out what else God would have us know of this most necessary parental job.

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First, we must be reminded that this training must be rooted in righteousness. We see that in 2 Timothy 3 .16.

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Who cares about passing down family tradition if they don't learn to be righteous? Who cares if they take over the family business or continue in the family trade if they don't embrace the righteousness of God?

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Who cares what accolades they win, popularity they achieve, or grades they earn if they failed to train in righteousness and were disqualified?

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The word translated in means to put under, literally bound to an oath. When you train your children, it must be shackled to nothing more than God's high biblical expectations.

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We see this mirrored in Ephesians 6 .4. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the

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Lord. Here our Greek word is translated discipline. Number two, in order to be ambassadors of God, our training must be motivated by love for God and our children.

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Hebrews 12 5 -6 says, My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him.

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For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives. Motivated by his holiness and love,

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God is actively at work to train his children. Number three, training doesn't produce perfect kids.

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It's interesting to note that in the Hebrews 12 passage, God's training includes reproof. Listen, when your kids start training, they're not going to be perfect.

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God never promised that. They're going to sin, and you're going to need to cycle back through the other three jobs all the time in the process.

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There will always be something new for them to learn. There will always be times when they call God a liar, like we all do, and provide you opportunities to help them accept

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God's interpretation of life. And Lord willing, if they are true followers of Christ, they will eventually come around, embrace

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God's truth, and need correction. But though they may not be perfect on this earth, number four, training is designed to produce endurance.

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The very next verse says, It is for your discipline that you have to endure. James 1 2 -4 says,

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Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, including training. For you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness, endurance.

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And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. The word perfect there referring to being mature.

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Five times to the churches of the Revelation, Jesus talks of their endurance in the faith. Romans 15 4 -6 says,

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For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the scriptures we might have hope.

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May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the

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God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Thessalonians 3 5 reads, May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ.

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This concept of endurance is all throughout the Bible. In fact, in my last sermon in the book of Jude, I told my brothers and sisters in the church that the most beautiful and glorious truth in all the doctrine of salvation is the truth that God will preserve

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His true followers and that they will persevere to the end. It's all over the

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Bible. How can people suggest that train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it is somehow a general truism or hopeful possibility.

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It's at the very core of God's being to preserve those who submit to Him and all those who submit to Him will be sanctified in His truth.

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It was Jesus Christ Himself who prayed to His Father, sanctify them in the truth. Your word is truth.

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This is so glorious. I could go on and on, but we must move on from here. So number five, part of the training process is going to involve pain.

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We're going to read the rest of this portion of Hebrews 12. It says, It is for discipline that you have to endure.

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God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which we have all participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.

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Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the

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Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time, as it seemed best to them. But He disciplines us for our good, that we may share

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His holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

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Now there's another meaning encased in the word that we've been studying. Training is everything we've said it is, but by implication, the word can also refer to chastening and chastisement.

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I believe that this shows us the same thing we saw in point three. Even as they are involved in training, our children will sin.

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We must be prepared to reprove them. And like I mentioned a couple episodes ago, that reproving is going to have to involve appropriate consequences.

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I hope that if you ask my children why their parents have to give them consequences, they would say, because sin hurts.

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Sin destroys, it burns, it takes no prisoners, it kills, and it slaughters. The highest reason we can give our children consequences is to teach them that sin hurts.

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Better to be grounded or spanked or to lose a privilege now and learn from them than suffer the destruction that comes from living a life in rebellion to God.

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Better to suffer the consequences of a life lived in rebellion to God and learn from it than to end life and suffer an eternity of punishment in hell.

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We give our children consequences because sin hurts, and we'd rather they learn not to touch the stove because they received an appropriate slap on the hand than to burn their fingers off because of their disobedience.

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And six also comes from Hebrews 12, 7 through 9. We aren't doing even the most basic job of parenting if we're not training our children.

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The author of Hebrews says, God is treating you as sons, for what son is there whom his Father does not discipline?

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If you are left without discipline, in which we have all participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.

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Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us, and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the

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Father of spirits and live? I find it interesting that God ties the concept of training directly to the role of a parent.

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Why is it that the illegitimate children in this passage weren't trained? Well, back then, illegitimate children were a stain and people would do everything they could to remove that stain.

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The reason illegitimate children weren't trained is that they weren't in the home. But we must remember that though all parents train their kids by virtue of the fact that they're parents, not all parents train their children in righteousness.

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Your children will either learn from you how to worship self, or they'll learn from you how to worship God. Now, please don't misunderstand me.

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I'm not teaching some parental determinism that says that if we do everything right, our kids will submit to God. No, they have to participate in the training.

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But we can't hide from the fact that our children get their sin natures from us. Generational sin and the terrible example that we frequently are to our kids will only fuel their rebellion despite our efforts to the contrary.

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So, by way of review, 1. Ambassadorial training requires us to know how to educate, interpret, and counsel.

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2. Ambassadorial training must be rooted in righteousness. 3. Ambassadorial training must be motivated by love for God and our children.

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4. Ambassadorial training isn't going to produce perfect children. That's why we need to stay sharp in our teaching, reproving, and correcting.

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5. Instead of perfection, ambassadorial training is designed to produce endurance. 6.

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Ambassadorial training is going to involve pain. And 7. Because you are a parent living with your child, you will participate in their training.

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But to train them in the way they should go, we must be ambassadorial. Now, I know

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I'm going to be going way over today. It's quite possible. I'm not quite done yet. In fact, it's funny that just a couple times ago,

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I shared a review that praised our ability to keep it short. Still, I want to give you four more quick points to help you become a better trainer.

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The ambassador parent is a trainer who, number one, teaches his children in what to grow. We established that already.

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Number two, she instructs her children in how to grow. That's the reproof and correction. And three, he provides his children ways to grow.

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This is the new one. I believe that good parents create opportunities for their children to succeed.

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They're constantly on the lookout for new challenges, responsibilities, tests, and even trials that will help them take the next step spiritually.

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They don't shelter their children from these opportunities, and they don't throw them to the sharks with no cage. There's a fine line where the ambassador parent prepares their child and walks a few steps behind them, ready to assist when the time comes as their child practices holiness.

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You can provide your toddler opportunities for growth by teaching them about the importance of sharing and then inviting a selfish child over for a play date, which pretty much can be any child.

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Of course, a good parent would be teaching and monitoring and reproving and correcting if necessary. You could train your middle schooler how to mow the lawn and then let them do it, running over rocks and all, to provide them the chance to grow.

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And lastly, the ambassador parent who trains will expect growth from his children. I think we parents do the exact opposite more than we realize.

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We expect our children to fail because they're small, immature, and they have a track record of failing. Maybe they've been given a diagnosis by a school counselor and we expect they can't pay attention.

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Maybe they've sinned so many times that we've given up hope that they'll ever change. When you do that, you've ceased training your children in righteousness and you're training them in sin.

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That response is unloving and it doesn't show trust in God. So, there you have it.

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God wants us to be his ambassadors of reconciliation. And in order to do that, we must participate in the four jobs that God created

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His Word to do. I like summing it up this way. We must teach them what's right. We must show them what's not right.

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We must help them to return to the right, and we must train them to stay in the right. If this episode was a blessing to you, will you please share it with a friend?

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And don't forget to download your free episode notes. And before I tell you about our next episode, I want to thank my wife for being a wonderful supporter of TLP.

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She works behind the scenes more than you know to help me be faithful in this ministry, and she'd like to share something with you.

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Hi, everyone. I just wanted to share my heart with you a little bit. So for the past three years,

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I've had the enormous opportunity to have a side business. And the goal of my little side business was to just create a little bit of fun money for the family.

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That way, when my kids, for example, come and say they want to go out for ice cream, I can say yes.

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And so with my fun money, I was just really pressed for the desire to give back to the

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Lord, of course, since He is the one that gives me the opportunity to do the things that I do. And I had been reaching out to missionaries,

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I'd been considering supporting orphans, I've been trying to help other people that work in similar ministries to ours.

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And I was just really thinking through, you know, what else could I do with this money that would be a blessing?

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And it's so funny, it actually took me a little bit of time before it came to mind, hey, you really should support your husband.

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He's doing some amazing stuff there. And I really love my husband, and I love his ministry.

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I think his impact in helping families has been huge.

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And I've been able to read the letters, I've been able to speak to the parents face -to -face about all the kinds of things that they have learned and they've been encouraged in the

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Word through my husband. And the Lord showed me that this is a good place for me to be supportive with my income, as small as it may be.

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Now, I am not the largest supporter of my husband's ministry, I'm probably the smallest because I don't make that much, but it is a help, and it's a blessing, truly is a blessing to be able to help my husband.

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And so if you, whether your income is small or great, if you would be considering the kinds of things that you could do to give to the

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Lord, I wonder if you would consider giving to the Lord in this way, by helping my husband's ministry and his outreach to families and parents.

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And I do know that if you choose to help my husband financially with his ministry, that God will give you an enormous blessing in return, as he has given me.

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Thanks, babe. Lastly, our next episode has an interesting name. It's called, The 10 Things All Parents Should Hate.

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It's a two -part series, and I think you're going to like it. My friends, God never promised that parenting would be easy.

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In fact, it's probably the most difficult job in the universe, second to being a first follower of Christ. But God has given us the perfect tool to be the ambassador parent he's called and created us to be.

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So I'll see you next time, as we learn to be better ambassadors. Truth. Love.

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Parents. Is part of the Evermind Ministries family, and is dedicated to helping you become an intentional premeditated parent.

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Join us next time, as we search God's Word for the truth your family needs today.