Breaking the Strongholds in Your Family — Teresa Conlon

This message is one of the Times Square Church Pulpit Series. It was recorded in the Sanctuary of Times Square Church in Manhattan, New York City. None of these messages are copyrighted, and you are welcome to make copies for free distribution to friends.

The One Gospel and New Life in Christ

My message tonight is entitled, Breaking the Strongholds in Your Family. Only you hear it spoken through different personalities, but there's still just one gospel. And that is that God had a son, and he sent him to die for us.

That we were sinners. And Jesus Christ died on a cross. And when he did that, whosoever believed in what he did, he gave new life to them. And he cleansed them from their sin. And then he said, now you're to live a new life in the power of me.

That I would fill you with a Holy Spirit because you're cleansed by my blood. And now I want to live my life through you. And all the world will stand amazed and know there is something divine in his followers.

And so, when we hear that gospel and we surrender to it, we say, Lord, that's truth. My heart is recognizing truth, and I surrender to it. And he comes into our heart. That truth is designed to set us free.

And either we are getting more free, or if we are not getting more free, then something serious is happening in our lives. Because the Bible says truth sets us free. Now we have an enemy who is the father of lies.

And truth is so potent and truth is so powerful that anything and everything he can do to take truth out of our heart, to confuse us, to keep darkness in areas of our heart and mind, he will do. Because the power of truth is so incredible.

The Crucified Life and Following Christ Fully

We are born into the kingdom, all of us, as cripples. We come with holes. We are newborn babes with a lot of needs when we come into the kingdom. And when we come into the kingdom of the Son, we come very needy.

And when we first get saved, it's like we know we're needy. And we rely on Jesus for everything. That is if you're saved. We begin the heart of man, aided by an enemy, will try to take us off a path that is for every believer.

Beloved, that path is to follow Christ fully. When Jesus Christ walked on this earth, He did the will of the Father. And He walked to a Gethsemane, He walked to a cross. And then resurrection life. And it's going to be the same for you and I.

Because the God who made us and sees deep into us, sees that He made us. And we're before Him now as His children with two natures. A lower nature and a higher nature. A sin nature, a flesh nature, and a spirit nature.

And He knows that in order for Him to be seen in the way He desires to be seen in His people, there needs to be a death worked in us. We need to learn from His hand by the Spirit a crucified walk. Now, we shy away from that because we don't understand that many times.

We don't hear it spoken many times. The ironic thing is that today in this house, I'm amazed at how God has been speaking in all three messages the same thing. And we will be wise if we say, Lord Jesus, let me lay truth, this truth to heart.

Teach me it. Crucified life is when our wants, our desires, get submitted to God and say, is that what you would have for me? If He says yes, we rejoice in it. If He says no, we lay it down. As a body of believers, God wants to get us to the point where He speaks to us, we believe Him and we do it.

When He speaks in His word, we believe it. We don't act like spoiled children, always wanting to know why or when or where. Because really that's just a procrastination. You know, why did this happen?

Why did that happen? But beloved, you can ask those questions if you want. But it's just stalling. We would get farther in Christ with a fuller revelation of Him. He could bring us to that promised land of a complete trust and abiding in Him and an abundant life we'd never know if we would just for a season lay the lies down.

I heard Elizabeth Elliott speak yesterday to the women. She said, you know, five minutes of radical obedience will change a lot of things. And I believe that. And the crucified one lives in us, and He is going to show us what that walk entails.

Becoming Whole Through Christ

He knows that in us there's a longing to be whole. And in order to be whole, we have to become Holy Christ. You know that word W-H-O-L-L-Y, holy, and the word holy, H-O-L-Y, have the same root.

And anyone who truly is holy is having, by faith, the holes in them filled by the person of Jesus Christ. Not by answers, not by psychology, not by good fortune, but by Christ Himself. If the holes are being filled by anything else, you're not getting whole, and you're not getting free.

If Christ is not filling the ache in your heart, is not exposing the sin and filling it with Himself, we are still staying a people full of holes. Holiness is so far from being a long-faced, heavy-spirited religionist.

A holy person is a person getting the holes filled with Christ, and moving into a joy in Him that the world doesn't understand. Becoming whole inside, not where you're grasping for people to do something for you that people can't do, and thus living an unsatisfied life.

It's possible to be saved, but not satisfied. But Jesus wants us saved and satisfied. Beloved, that comes through submission to Him and His will. I am crucified with Christ. Nevertheless, I live. Yet not I.

Not my wants, not my desires. But Christ lives in me, and He's going to give us a whole new set of wants and desires that are going to be holy. They're going to be full of life. Abundant life. We're going to get a taste of what it is to be forgiven and walking clean.

Of what it is to walk daily, hearing His voice. Of what it is to know the pleasure of being obedient. The power of our thinking being changed to receiving the mind of Christ. Beloved, I am not talking pie in the sky.

This is the gospel. This is not a radical thing. What I'm speaking to you is what Christ wants for every follower, every child of His, that they be whole. That means when we say, Lord, teach me that walking with you is a crucified life, that means it's not what I want.

I submit to what you would have for my life. Whatever. I don't reserve a part that, Lord, you and I share. I don't reserve a part to say, Lord, that's too hard. You can't expect me to give this to you right now.

No, it's starting right now saying, whatever you want for me in my life. Whatever. Lord, you'll give me the grace to pray that prayer, to mean it. And when you take me up on it, Lord, you're going to nail my foot to the floor.

And I'm not going to run away from it. The desiring to be whole person embraces the cross of Christ and says by faith, I am no longer going to live to please myself. Lord Jesus, I'm going to live to please you and lead on.

Breaking Strongholds Through Surrender

Hell will throw everything it's got at a believer like this. Hell will throw everything against a person who's starting to have a cry formed in their heart like this. Because a heart cry like this is the greatest threat the kingdom of darkness ever hears.

And one man or one woman who determines in their heart to say, I live for Jesus Christ and him alone. That person will break through every stronghold. That person will, in the power of Christ, break the prison cell doors.

Every chain will be soaked off their wrist and will set off a nuclear reaction in their family. The hardest place for it to happen will happen there. I want to show you a story of a man very unique in his generation who had the grace upon him that when God spoke to him, he believed every word.

I'm sure the devil fought him every step of the way. But the more that he chose to believe the word in spite of his feelings, in spite of the circumstance, the more his faith grew. The greater his influence, the greater, if we can hear it, the way he will speak to us tonight through his life.

We will see hope for our family. I know I speak for so many tonight as we've been sitting being fed God's word week after week. If you're truly a child of God, you're getting a heart for your family. You're getting a heart for the unsaved.

There's a longing in you to want to see mother, brother, sister, spouse, in-laws be saved. Yet when we get around them, we get shut down so many times. It's like that is the hardest wall to penetrate is that inner circle around us.

Christ experienced it too. Let's turn to Numbers 14. I want us to look at an Old Testament man. His name is Caleb. Numbers 14 and verse 24. It says, verse 24,. But my servant Caleb, because he had another spirit with him, and it followed me fully, him will I bring into the land where into he went and his seed shall possess it.

Caleb's Faith in the Promised Land

Now, who is this man that fully followed the Lord and hence received the land, the promised land? Who is this man that everything God had promised, he received it? And was able to pass it on to his seed?

What kind of man that he can pass on this kind of inheritance? You know, it's one thing to have a faith in Christ. It's another thing to pass it on. As a lot, he was not able to do it to his children or his generation.

But there is a man here who can. It says here, he's a man of another spirit and followed me fully. Caleb was one of the. There were 12 spies sent into the promised land by Moses. Many of you know the story.

10 came back with an evil report and said, It's a land surely flowing with milk and honey. It's everything you ever said it was, but it's filled with giants. And we can't have this land. But two came back with a report and said, No, this is a land God has given us.

We are well able to take it. And in numbers 13, just one page over. We hear the voice of Caleb and voice in verse 1330. He says, Let us go up at once and possess it. For we are well able to overcome it.

In numbers 14, eight. This man speaks again. And he says, If the Lord delight in us, then he will bring us into this land and give it a land which flows with milk and honey. Only rebel not against the Lord.

Neither fear ye the people of the land, for they are bread for us. Their defenses departed from them, and the Lord is with us. Fear them not. But the congregation, all the congregation, they stone them with stones.

Here's a man. Here's another spirit speaking. He says that God has said we can have this land. He goes to the he goes to that promised land. He sees it all. And what is burning in his heart is if God says we can have it, then we can have it.

Then he comes back. And these are princes of the tribes of Israel. And they are absolutely overcome by what they see. And so Caleb begins to, his heart is stirred because he can believe when God speaks to him.

He can believe it when God speaks to him. And he says, Don't rebel against the Lord. He's saying, Let God be God to us. He said we could have it. Now we can't get in ourselves. So let's let God be God to us and let him give it to us.

If he said he would. He says, Do not rebel against the Lord. Neither fear the people of the land. He's saying you're looking at them and you're fearing them. But he'd be actually what he was saying was, and in the midst of the men standing with me, there's a fear in them.

And the imprint of their fear, yes, would want to come against him. And so he's turning to them and he's saying they're fearing you when you look at them. But we do not need to fear these people. We do not need to take this imprint of people.

God has spoken. And if we will cling to God, he's going to give us a spirit of faith. He was saying we don't have to fear them. He was rejecting the imprint of those that were unbelieving around him. He was rejecting the imprint of what he saw with his eyes in that promised land.

He says, I see with another set of eyes. He says they are bread for us. He's saying these enemies are for us to consume. They're saying their defenses departed from them. Ten men could not see that. But because this man had determined in his heart when God speaks to me, I will choose to believe him.

In spite of what I see, God gave him a set of spiritual eyes. Our faith gave him a new set of eyes and a new set of ears. He could see something men that were fearful and trembling when it was bringing a dishonor to God for them to fear and tremble.

But he refused it. And he said because of it, God is giving me something to see. You see the ten princes that went in. They were not novices in the things of God. They had been brought from Egypt. They had been brought through a wilderness.

They had seen God work in their midst miraculously time after time after time again. And it came a time for that people to have faith. It came time for that leadership to say God has been so faithful to us.

God has done nothing but deliver us. It is time to look what we see with our natural eyes. Declare him to be true. Declare him to be faithful to his word and not fear. These men were sinning by fear because they were not novice.

Caleb was given a new set of eyes because he chose to believe God. And finally he said the Lord is with us. What more guarantee can we have? What more can be said? Take the rest away but leave God is with us.

You see Caleb believed that. Caleb laid that to his heart. If we do not lay the words of God to our heart we will get a hardened heart. How many times must God speak to us and we don't believe before we run the risk of a hardened heart?

Oh yes, it is easy to doubt God but there's a choice that you and I that are well taught have to make. Say, I refuse the feelings, the circumstances. Lord, when you speak I'm going to crucify the doubt.

I'm going to choose to believe you. It will cost me to follow you in these words you are speaking because many times I just don't want to enter that land. But if you are my God and you say that you are to lead me then go I will.

And that's what Caleb did. And he was now becoming a man in their midst with another spirit. Of course, his contemporaries said stone him with stones. That's the religious world's response to faith. That is your family's response to your faith.

Many times. Shut you down, shut you up. And give you such a fierce look that you'll turn away and you will not speak to them. Give you such a fierce countenance that you tremble before them. Stone them with stones.

Joshua and Caleb urged and encouraged but those brethren would not hear. Interesting enough, those 10 men, those 10 princes of Israel died by a plague right before them. And all the nation of Israel went back into the wilderness of sin for 40 years.

God could not believe his people, his own people that he loved, that he lived among, that he died, he fed, he directed, he watered, could doubt him. And he knew how infectious unbelief was. So that generation died.

All those men 20 years old and up that received into their heart an evil report about him. Really the evil report was about him. God can't deliver us. The giants are stupid. The giants were their God.

He was not. So he says back into the wilderness and they went. And any male 20 years old and over died in that wilderness and a new generation was risen up. And now God leads them back to the promised land.

This time with Caleb and Joshua in leadership. Men now that had to go back into the wilderness with that group. Though they were believing, though they were faithful, though they trusted God, though they believed with everything in their being, that God could have given them the promised land that time.

They went back and wandered with them. Beloved God does not toy with our lives. That generation under their leadership now had a heart to fight. Their faith, their light, ignited hearts around them. Now God is giving a new word to a new generation.

Joshua's Commission to Be Strong and Courageous

Under the leadership of Caleb and Joshua. If you would turn with me to Joshua 1, we'll read this new commission. Says in Joshua 1, starting at verse 3. Every place that the sole of your foot shall tread upon that have I given unto you, as I said unto Moses.

Verse 6. Be strong and of good courage. For unto this people shall thou divide for an inheritance the land, which I swear unto their fathers to give them. Only be thou strong and very courageous. First night.

Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of good courage. Be not afraid. Neither be thou dismayed for the Lord thy God is with thee, whether so ever thou goeth. Nothing had changed. The heart of God still longs to be, to grant an inheritance to his people.

He was determined to give to his people the inheritance that he had promised way back in the days of Abraham. He longed to give this land to his people. He says, be strong in me. Be courageous in me. For the Lord thy God is with thee wherever thou goeth.

He said, wherever your foot walks, I have given it unto you. I'm not, I will give it. Not if you're win, I will give it. Not if you're good enough, I will give it. I have given it to you. So be strong and be courageous.

Be strong and be courageous. I am with you and I have given you the land. Now the land that they went into was inhabited by the enemies of Israel. They did not just cross over the river Jordan and walk into a land empty.

They were going into a land inhabited by their enemies. There were strongholds in that land. There were people who had dwelt there for generations, had tilled it. There was wells, there was cattle. They were going to fight to the death for that land.

The enemies of Israel, the Jebusites, the Parasites, the Hivites, the Amorites, the Ammonites. They were there. And when they first crossed the river of Jericho, they fought together under the leadership of their General Joshua.

And they took down the city of Jericho. And eventually they took the city of Ai. But over time they were to divide up the 12 tribes of Israel. And they were apportioned a piece of the promised land. So they no longer fought as a unit.

But they were now to go and claim their inheritance, each tribe. And they would have to fight whoever the enemy were of that area. They would have to fight for that land. And the interesting thing is that when they divided up now and they had to go and fight for their inheritance, each tribe.

You know, some of them had to fight in high country. Some of them had to fight in low country. Some had to fight the ground across the coastal land on the seas. Some the plains, some the mountains. It required different styles of fighting, different tactics.

Possessing the Promised Land and Overcoming Strongholds

Beloved, I'm reminded today that for us, when we go in to claim our promised land, that is very similar. For some of us it's a stronghold of pride. For some it's a stronghold of fear. For some it's rebellion.

But the Lord said, be strong and courageous. I have given you this land and you will possess it in me by faith. Now, Joshua in chapter 14, Caleb, when he had first gone in to spy out the land 40 years earlier, when he had gone in there, he had seen a mountain.

And the Bible tells us that after that first tour through the promised land, he wanted that mountain. He wanted that piece of land for himself. And the Lord had said he could have it. And when the tribes went in and Caleb was leading the tribe of Judah, he reminded the leadership that God said he could have a mountain to himself.

And the Bible says in verse 12, in Joshua 14, it says, now, therefore, Joshua declared, give me this mountain. Sorry, Caleb said, now, therefore, give me this mountain. And it tells us in verse 11, he says, as yet, I am as strong this day as I was in the day that Moses sent me.

As my strength was then, even so is my strength now, for war both to go out and to come in. And he was saying I was a threat to the enemy then. 40 years ago, I'm still a threat today. That's what a man of faith is.

He does not diminish. He does not lose ground in God. He may not understand the ground God takes him through in winning his promised land. But as he follows, he goes from strength to strength. And here's this man undiminished, still a man of war at 85 years old.

The Bible says that on that mountain, it was inhabited. The giant of the giant, the giant of the giant, the Anakin. And there were three fierce brothers. And the Bible says that Caleb was able to take that mountain.

He won it completely. He possessed that mountain. Faith arose in him. He says, give me this mountain. It was a sense of saying, give me the highest place. Give me the hardest place that all may see how awesome and faithful my God is.

Highest place. So that all can see it's not about me. But when I believe his word to me, look what he can do for me. And so in this huge mountain in the land, all those that could look to the mountain Caleb's mountain could see it was the mountain God gave Caleb.

A man burning for God's glory. Now, the tribes entered the promised land. And they divided up. And they were told that they were to fully possess the land. They were to make no peace with the enemy. They were not to make allegiances.

They were to drive them out of the land that God had given them. They were to demolish the enemy. They were to throw down their altars and cleanse the land. They were to fully possess their inheritance.

Israel's Partial Obedience in Judges

I want us to quickly go to Judges chapter 1 and see how they fared out. The next book over Judges 1. In Judges 1, starting at verse 19. Says,. And the Lord was with Judah, and he drove out the inhabitants of the mountain, but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had iron chariots.

So we see that Judah had a partial victory. Verse 21. And the children of Benjamin did not drive out the Jebusites that inhabit Jerusalem. Verse 27. Neither did Manasseh drive out the inhabitants of Bethshean.

Verse 29. Neither did Ephraim drive out the Canaanites that dwelt in Giza. Verse 30. Neither did Zebulun drive out the inhabitants of Kitron. Verse 31. Neither did Asher drive out the inhabitants of Achel.

Verse 33. Neither did Naphtali drive out the inhabitants of Bethshemesh. Verse 34. And the Amorites forced the children of Dan into the mountain, for they would not suffer them to come down into the valley.

Beloved, I was stunned one day in my reading coming through this. It was like I did not realize how little the children of Israel possessed when so much had been promised to them. I did not realize, in the face of all God had said to their fathers and to them, when everything at their disposal to take the land promised to them, they took so little.

And then the tribe of Dan, not only did they just partially dwell in the land, the Bible says that when they went into their inheritance, they were so overpowered by their enemy, they were forced up into a little corner of the land, shut up.

Very prophetic to what was to happen to that nation. Beloved, they did not obey. They did not believe all they needed to drive out the enemy. And they did not do it. The Lord in chapter 2 answers this people.

He says, an angel of the Lord, Judges 2 verse 1 came up. I made you to go up out of Egypt. I brought you unto the land, which I swear unto your fathers. And I said, I will never break my covenant with you.

And you shall make no league with the inhabitants of this land. You shall throw down their altars. But ye have not obeyed my voice. Why have you done this? Wherefore, I also said, I will not drive them out from before you, but they shall be as thorns in your side and their God shall be a snare unto you.

It's like God was striving with the people he loved. It was what more could he say? What more could he do with you? Be strong and courageous. I will go with you. I have determined to give you this land.

Beloved, the land is the Lord Jesus Christ in the New Testament. The Bible says in the psalm, it says, Jesus Christ, he is my portion. The Lord is my portion and my cup. The land is a full possession of Jesus Christ and Jesus Christ fully possessing us.

This is the land in the New Testament, the north, the south, the east and the west. It's all our heart, all our soul, all our mind, all our strength. God says, it's my will that you possess all of me and I possess all.

But beloved, this Old Testament story has a New Testament application. In spite of all the promises that we receive and we hear, why do we not believe him? Why are there still strongholds? Why is there no freedom in our lives?

Those that say we love the Lord. In this group here, it says here, God says, finally, he says, I will not drive them out. I have told you the land is yours. You don't know what it is when you make peace with the enemy.

You do not know what you're bargaining for. He says, they're going to be thorns in your side. That means there will never be a comfort in your walk within your religion. There will be an anguish. And beloved for many, many that will not walk the way the Lord Jesus is asking us to walk.

He is saying, I want you to learn to deny yourself and take up your cross. Then I'll bring you into freedom. And they say, no, I want to be a Christian on my terms. And God says, fine, then you'll live with an enemy.

You'll live with thorns in your side. I will not drive them out. You will live with anguish. And the God that you say you do not serve will be a snare to you. You will be a captivated people proclaiming you're free.

And we'll call it a Christian walk. Then we'll say to our loved ones, oh, come to this light. Jesus said, if the light be in you darkness, how great is that darkness? Offering our family or those that know us the most have to be the pure light.

If we have settled down, we have not taken possession of the land. If we have made peace with our enemies, if now we live with thorns in our side, there's an anguish in our spirit. And if there's no peace, and then we tell them, come to this light.

It is a wonder they don't come. I could see in this generation, the leadership coming together, having church, a captivated leadership of these tribes. They could reassure themselves that what was pervasive must be permissible with God.

If everybody around that they look was captivated, partially captivated, it must be God's will. In religious conferences, they could have titles like living with your realities, should be subtitled living with your rebellion.

Fully Following Christ for the Sake of Our Families

How to maintain peace with the enemy, sharing false alters. Is this really abomination? But I'll tell you what was never said. Make peace with the enemy and your children will live in bondage. I would say live with it.

Live with the reality of letting the enemy settle down with you. Settle down in your heart. Make a stronghold. God knows you've been hurt. God knows you've been betrayed. God knows there's a pain. The enemy wants you and I on a treadmill of why God, why God, why God?

Because we sound religious. But believe it, beloved, it's truly called living in disobedience. God says, I'm giving you the land. I will give it all to you. But you come my way. You fully follow me. Because I'll tell you something.

When we see disobedience for what it is, beloved, there is an accompanying price tag that we don't want to pay. And Jesus knew that. How much more difficult it was going to be trying to set our own way, our own Christian walk, not led by the Lord Jesus Christ.

You know, they would have, Caleb was in their midst in a high mountain while they lived in captivity with an empty, with a promise ringing in their ear. But I could, I could hear what they would say. Caleb is not reality.

I mean, he's a super Christian. You know, we don't have, which was true. He just simply chose to believe when God spoke to him. It was that simple. The mountain for us in our generation, I believe is the cry, give me my family.

Let me lead my family to Christ. Let the light in me overcome the darkness. That's a Caleb cry. That's a Caleb call. If you're here tonight and it is Lord Jesus, I would be the light in me to even break the darkness in my own Jerusalem, the place closest to me.

Beloved, it's going to take more than just a promise of God. It's going to take more than you and I being a forgiven Christian. It's not, it's, there comes a point. It's not enough to be forgiven, but we must become a forgiven and a free people to reach our family.

That's the promised land. Caleb, it tells us in numbers 1424, it says, Caleb, my servant, he had another spirit and he followed me fully. Him will I bring into the land. Beloved, we can apply that directly to our lives.

There's a call going out tonight by the spirit of God. It's saying, I've given you the land. I would that you possess all of Jesus Christ in his fullness. And he wants to possess all of you, all of me.

Don't let the devil tell you that's a pie in the sky. Unreality. It is as sure a promise as the ones made to the children of Israel. It is. But if we have to say, Lord Jesus, lead your way, lead through the path, I don't understand, but don't let me be fine.

Be found carrying how far behind you saying, why this way? Why through the rocky road? Why through these boring? Coastal land. Why this? Why that? We should settle it in our heart tonight. Lord Jesus, give me the heart.

That when you speak. It is enough that Caleb, my servant. That's what servant is. That's when he was described, Caleb, my servant. This is the first, first entrance way. Into a faith that can smash strongholds found in our heart.

And subsequently in our families. When he said my servant. That's someone who constantly bows their knee and their head to their Lord. His will, not ours. And it's as simple as that. When the Lord speaks, we learn the first reflex is to bow the knee.

It's as simple as that. Beloved, if you've walked with him any length of time, God has asked you stuff you don't want to do. He has asked me things I have not wanted to do. And there have been times I have not done it.

And then I get entangled in the land. Then all of a sudden this Christian walk becomes hard and complicated. It just took obeying him. That's a crucifixion. We have a stronger will than you and I know.

But when we learn to say, when you speak, I will bow my knee. That's a crucifixion of our will. But beloved, it results in a life. That we know so little about. When we live a disobedient life. It's a daily dying.

It's saying your will, not mine. If we have to say it a thousand times a day. The Holy Spirit is going to learn to teach those that want to possess Jesus Christ. That's an automatic response. Caleb had another spirit.

It was a cleansed temple. The Holy Spirit filled this man. Beloved, if you belong to Jesus Christ. That means his blood has cleansed you. That means you are a fit place for the Holy Ghost to dwell. And the Holy Ghost, if we're saved, we have a measure of him.

And it is our privilege every day to lift our hands up and say, Fill me, Holy Spirit, and give me the mind of Christ. We don't have to flounder around all the time. Is that God speaking, the devil speaking or my flesh speaking?

We just submit the thought to the Lord and ask him to show us. And you know what? He does. We live in constant touch with him because we ask every day for a filling of the Holy Ghost. And when the Holy Ghost begins to come and give us the mind of Christ, he does something incredible.

The Bible says that in Romans 5, 5, because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost. If you have trouble receiving the love of God for you, if you have trouble truly believing an awesome God that loves you and gave himself for you, died for you, longs to cleanse you, longs to give you his heart, longs to show himself strong, longs to be your father, longs to be your brother, longs that you be his cherished bride.