Pure Heart and Pure Church — Leonard Ravenhill

David’s Penitential Psalm and the Need for Spiritual Reality

I thought about this simple thing this morning, that men's opinions of God change very much in the passing of time. But God's opinion of man never changes. It's established once and forever in his word.

I want us to think about a psalm which is a favorite of mine, the 51st psalm. Just to remind you, there are 150 psalms in the Bible. Sometimes they call it the psalm of the day. It still is, I believe, the Jewish hymnbook.

It still gives us the most profound expressions that can be found in song with all our modern singing. No one touches the heights or the depths like the psalmist. Out of the 150 psalms, roughly half of them, which is 75 in case you don't know, 75 of them were written by David.

Of the 75, 18 of them are autobiographical. That is, they all spin around his own experiences. There are seven penitential psalms. One of them has to be the greatest, and surely it is this 51st psalm.

Until fairly recently, I guess some of you will remember anyhow, Leonard Bernstein was the maverick conductor of what? New York Philharmonic Orchestra. Very distinguished, very capable. He wrote that great mass that was sung at the funeral of Kennedy, and he's a classical pianist in his own right, an exhibitionist.

A friend of his was in Europe, and he brought back a dog-eared manuscript, took it to Leonard Bernstein's house. Incidentally, he lived in the same house where John Lennon was killed outside. But the man said to him, Leonard, play this for me.

He looked at the manuscript, he said, I can't. He said, you can, but you won't. He said, I can't. Why not? This is an old manuscript. It's 200 years old. I paid an exorbitant price for it in Europe. Again, Leonard looked at it and said, I can't play this.

Why not? He said, if I could have crept up by the side of the organist as he was working this music out, and I could have caught his spirit, his cadences, his expressions, maybe I could have done it. With a gap of 200 years from the time he wrote it to now, and all the atmosphere has evaporated.

You know, that's very true about the Word of God, too. Except the Spirit of God takes it, the letter killers. In case you haven't noticed, this psalm is a monologue. David includes no one else. How did he say it?

How did he write it? He sure didn't dictate it into a machine. I doubt if he had a secretary. In your Bible, I don't know anything about type. Martin is here, he might know what type this is. But it's some kind of type on a white sheet.

It's punctuated with commas and periods. It's written in ink. No, this psalm was written with blood. It is not punctuated with stops and commas, it's punctuated with groans and tears and agony. You know, if actors were to say their lines like most preachers preach, they'd never get through that audition.

They'd be rejected the first time. Years ago in Scotland, an envious preacher watched the crowds trying to get into a theater, and every night they were turned away in their hundreds. And he thought about his empty seat in his church Sunday by Sunday.

So, he made it his problem, his task, to visit the actor, a famous Shakespearean actor. Maybe Burton, that just died, was the greatest Shakespearean actor that ever lived. He could cross almost every word that Shakespeare wrote, and he wrote tens of thousands.

If you ask Hamlet the second act, he caught it like that. What did Lady Macbeth say so-and-so? He caught it, caught it, caught it. He was soaked in Hamlet so that he knew the thing from beginning to end.

It was dramatic. Well, the actor said to the preacher, the reason I pack this place maybe is this, and the reason you don't pack your place maybe is this. I make artificial things look real, and you make real things look artificial.

I heard a preacher last Sunday on TV for a few minutes. He talks as though he's giving a weather report, and bad weather at that. It is about this taste, this uncooked fish, and I don't wonder people turn...

When Dave Wilkerson was in Detroit a few weeks ago, amongst all those Muslims and other people on the streets, he asked those kids, lusting, fighting, scarred as they were, smelling evil on their bodies, smelling badly with their breaths, he asked them, who is your favorite radio TV preacher?

Time after time he said, we don't listen to them, all they want is our money. Isn't that shocking when kids in the street under the grip of the devil can only say you want our money? How did David recite this thing?

I say he punctuated with sobs and commas, not stops and commas, but sobs, with grief. How do I know? Because he's come to God with that which alone is acceptable to God, when we come to him as sinners.

Mercy, Confession, and the Meaning of Sin

Let me say this first, the constitution of the psalm is fascinating as far as I'm concerned. In verse one, let me say, how he say, what did he say? Have mercy upon me O God. He doesn't say, pity me Lord, I'm in trouble.

He doesn't say, excuse me Lord, I've broken a commandment or two. He comes pleading the only thing that we can plead. Have mercy upon me O God. Over here in another psalm of David, 86, he says in verse 5, for thou Lord art good and ready to forgive, and plenteous in mercy unto all them that call unto thee.

Verse 15, that thou O Lord art a God full of compassion and gracious, long-suffering and plenteous in mercy and in truth, which is borrowed by David from the 34th chapter in Exodus. Here is a man who is bowed down in grief, quote Shakespeare again, remember Lady Macbeth has a black spot or a blood spot on her hand, and what did she say about it?

She says, well here is, she says this damp spot, all the perfumes in the radio cannot cleanse it. David has a black spot of murder on one hand, a red spot of murder on one hand, a black spot of adultery on the other hand.

And he comes saying, have mercy upon me O God. Me, notice that. Have mercy upon me O God, according to the multitude of thy tenderness is brought out my transgressions, wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.

Against thee, thee only have I sinned. You say, no he sinned against Bathsheba. I don't think he did, he sinned with her, but he's making confession here of his own sin. He says, brought out my transgressions.

By real definition, transgression means I acknowledge my rebellion, I acknowledge my disobedience. He hadn't gone into sin ignorantly, he had been tempted again and again with that woman, and then finally he commits the horrible act of adultery.

So there are three words here for sin. Brought out my transgressions, he says, wash me thoroughly from my iniquity. Iniquity means I'm perverted because of my transgression. I've let sin come and have dominion over me.

Against thee only have I sinned. Pardon me, wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. I acknowledge my transgression, my sin, that for some total of my transgressions and my iniquity, my sin is ever before me.

What a price men pay for sin. Is he just being poetic? Do you mean he sees his sin every minute of the day? Yes he does. He looks outside of his castle and there's a young man standing on sentry duty, and every time he sees a soldier, he remembers the young captain he put to death in order that he might steal his wife.

A baby cries back in the kitchen, the baby of one of the girls that works for him. When he hears the baby's cry, he's haunted with the cry of the sin of the child of thee brought into the world. My sin is ever before me.

Against thee only have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight, that thou mightest be clear when thou judgest, and be justified when thou speakest. I was born in sin, and in sin did my mother conceive me.

Now there are two theories about the sin of then. One is that we're born with sin, and if somebody says we're born with it, then God sends us to hell for having it. No, he sends us to hell for not getting rid of it.

Are we born with sin, or is this a get-out when somebody says, David here says, I was born in sin, in sin did my mother conceive me. Remember when Samuel went to anoint the sons of um what was his name?

Jesse, thank you, thank you dear, thank you dear. They all were brought up before Samuel except one. Why wasn't David brought up? Well, the theory is because he was not, he was born out of wedlock, and they didn't want to own him.

In sin did my mother conceive me. Well, whichever view you take, man is still a sinner. If he isn't born with sin, it's soon admitted into his life anyhow. You know, it's one of the tragedies, I think, of our day, that people, when you talk about holiness, they're more afraid of holiness than they are of sinfulness.

One of the appalling things in the church and outside of it is our woeful, I would call it woeful, or appalling comfort with sin. Yeah, I don't often listen to PTL, but very often these nights I get, I go to bed at 10 and I get up at 12, and work till 2 or 3.

And the other night, just after 12, I turned on the news, and it slid right into PTL. And the little boy on PTL, as I call him, was saying some of his wisdom as usual. I know it's when he called people to the altar, they were smiling, one was chewing gum, I saw no broken and contrite hearts.

David here is bowed down with guilt, he's lashed with something that has a sting worse than a scorpion. There's plenty of them around here, if you want to try a scorpion out. I've had them accidentally, and they're very painful.

But he's something that stings him worse than a scorpion. What is that? Conscience. The old Methodist used to sing a hymn, quicken my conscience till it feel the loathsomeness of sin. There's not much consciousness of sin anymore.

The preachers have changed their vocabulary. There's not much preaching of hellfire on TV. I've heard a preacher saying two or three times, do you know I was at the White House recently? That's the second time I've been.

I thought, well why I'd miss it. Do you think Obadiah would have invited Elijah to dinner? Do you think Agrippa would have invited the Apostle Paul to dinner? Do you think Herod would have invited John Baptist to dinner?

We don't carry eternity with us preachers anymore, as far as I'm concerned. We can step out of giggling in the next room and come and try to be serious, and somehow we miss fire. There is no sense of guilt around anymore.

I'm sure you know this, there are no adulterers anymore. Few people having affairs of course. No wickedness, just weakness. No iniquity, just infirmity. Dear Lord, when I read some of these old men, the priest a hundred years ago, let me say this.

We used to go to a church in Ireland where my dear wife is from, and the pulpit was on a kind of a stem, and it was only small, not as big as this platform, and right behind it was the door. Now that church was about 200 years old, and I said, well why do you have a door right behind a preacher?

Well he needed it to escape when the crowd got hostile. Now we spoon-feed you, and you think, oh he's a nice priest, he's so nice, he's so smooth, he never hurts me, never says anything that upsets me.

Quicken my conscience till it feel the loathsomeness of sin. The background of this of course is extremely dramatic. It's the case of this man David. He's got into trouble. The Philistines have come up to him, and he's terrified.

Saul’s Disobedience and the Departure of the Spirit

It says in Samuel 28, verse, pardon me, 1st Samuel 28, verse 5, When Saul saw the host of the Philistines, he was afraid, and his heart greatly trembled. When Saul inquired of the Lord, the Lord answered him not, neither by dreams, nor by urine, nor by prophets.

Then Saul said unto his servant, Seek me a woman with a familiar spirit, that I may consider and inquire her. His servant said, There is a woman in Endor. Saul disguised himself. Notice that. He didn't go in as he ought.

You ought to disguise yourself to go somewhere. Are you ever embarrassed to enter a certain place which is questionable? Saul disguised himself and put on a beretment, and he went with the two men, and they came to the woman at night.

What a lot's done at night. Men love darkness rather than light. Why? Because their deeds are evil. Why did he disguise himself? Obviously he didn't want to be identified. Why did he go in the night time?

He didn't want to be identified. He came at night and said, I pray the divine unto me by a familiar spirit, and bring him up, whom I shall name unto thee. So she brought up whole Samuel. When the woman saw Samuel, she cried with a loud voice.

I believe it is the only case in history where a genuine spirit was brought up from the other world. Every other is a fake. But notice, she put the spotlight on him. Why hast thou distreamed me, for thou art Saul?

That must have been quite a shock. The king said unto her, Be not afraid, for thou sawest thou. And the woman said unto Saul, I saw God descending out of the earth. And he said unto her, What form is he of?

And she said, An old man cometh up, and he is covered with a mantle, the prophet's mantle. And Saul perceived that it was Samuel, and he stood with his face to the ground and bowed himself. And Samuel said unto Saul, Thou hast disquieted me, to bring me up.

And Saul answered, I am so distressed. The Philistines make war against me, and God is departed from me. Samuel said, Whereof thou dost ask of me, for the Lord is departed from thee. Isn't that something?

Departed from who? From a man who had the anointing of the Holy Ghost, and was filled with the Holy Ghost and prophesied, but he died a suicide. I heard a man say this week again in that same show, Don't you worry, God will never forsake you.

Doesn't matter, you may leave him, he won't leave you. That is entirely against the scripture. If the Spirit troubles you this morning, thank God he's troubling you before you go to hell. The Spirit will leave you?

Well, this is what you can do with the Holy Spirit. Accept him, resist him, grieve him, quench him. Now that's biblical, that's how my theologians arrived at the parish. The most miserable man in the world is not the man who's lost a million dollars, or lost his memory, or lost some other thing.

The most miserable man in the world is a man that God has forsaken. Again, I remind you that this King prophesied. The Spirit of the Lord was upon him, he prophesied, but he died a suicide. He popped his sword up in the ground and fell on it, and he wasn't completely dead.

So who killed him off? An Amalekite. Why was he in this trouble with the Philistines? Because God said, God utterly destroyed the Amalekites. But he didn't destroy them. He kept the best he said for God.

He didn't destroy the Amalekites, so the Amalekites destroyed him. If you don't let God destroy that sin in your life, that sin will destroy you. All the people, I remember preaching in Australia, and the pastor said, you see the man on the right there, that bald-headed man nearly at the back?

Yes. Do you know 15 years ago he was the most anointed man in the whole of this vast country? And it is a vast country. Australia is wider from coast to coast than America is from New York to California.

That man had traveled the country and left a blaze of revival behind him, but he trifled with sin. And he was desolate. He's like a man without a country. Is there anything more desperate than a man without God?

And the whole highway of Christian living is strewn with has-beens. He has been a great preacher. He has been a great authority. Shall I tell you the secret of backsliding? I'm sure you'd like to know.

Neglect your devotion to life and your prayer life. No man is greater than his prayer life. I don't care how many he talks to on TV. I had three preachers in my office the other day. I nearly mentioned their names.

I won't. All asking about the spiritual life. They thawed out two students from one of the best seminaries or cemeteries, if you like, in Dallas. What is the secret, Brother Rayneal, of stability? What is the secret of maturity?

I'll tell you. Number one, every preacher that comes in my office has three weaknesses. One, he isn't disciplined. Two, he has almost no prayer life. Three, he doesn't know a thing about worship. No, no, no, that's just where I am.

Well then, before you leave seminary, if you don't want to learn to pray in seminary and any Bible school around here anywhere else, you haven't learned anything as far as I'm concerned. Do you remember when the disciples came to Jesus and said, Lord, teach us to preach?

No? What did it say? Oh, I see. Oh, well, it was, it was Paul who said, preach without ceasing, which some of us almost do, I think, sometimes. Oh, it was James who said, when you're sick, preach to one another.

There's nothing the devil will attack more than your devotional life. Forget everybody else. God doesn't make us in groups, he makes individuals. There's nobody could pray at one time like David, and yet here he prays this penitential prayer, praises in agony.

Again, he doesn't say, Lord, I'm at the top of the charts. As you know, I'm right at the top. I mean, people are going down the street, clapping their hands and singing, Saul has sinned his thousands and David his tens of thousands.

I'm number one on the charts. Oh, what an amazing man, what an amazing fluctuation in his life. He wrote some of the most profound songs ever written. You would have to go to Scotland to hear people sing 23rd Psalm.

They have about half a dozen tunes to it. One is called Crimmon, that was born in my days, which is a long way while back. There's an older one, Brother James is there, that has a lovely lilt to it. They have about five different tunes to the 23rd Psalm.

But you would have to go to Wales. Gwyneth, Gwyneth isn't here this morning, she's of Welsh extraction as we say. I used to love to preach in Wales, oh mercy, how they would sing. And when they got blessed, they'd sing in tongues, the Welsh tongue.

And boy, when they sang there, there was a mouse always came in, and I knocked him down my back. Oh, they were so tremendous. And one great hymn that they sang was this, Great God of wonders, all thy ways display thine attributes divine, but countless acts of pardoning grace above all other wonders shine.

Who is a pardoning God like thee, or who has grace so rich and free? One of the greatest hymn writers ever, I think he wrote more hymns than anyone else, was Charles Wesley. He put his brother's theology to music.

Holiness, Conviction, and Brokenness

We think sometimes that sinners are just the derelicts. Those that dear David goes, and he's going out again on Tuesday, pray for him, he'll be away two weeks. Meeting head to head, eyeball to eyeball as we say, on the streets of Detroit just recently.

Crowds of young black Muslims there. People running forward before they can make an altar call. Kneeling at his feet, holding his feet, weeping at his feet. And he said, Len, do you know that most of my talk to already had an experience of God years ago?

I was a Baptist, I was a Pentecostalist. What are you doing now? Prostituting. I say sin doesn't appear to be sin anymore. The week, two weeks before when he was in New York, they just set up their music, was singing, a bunch of young ladies came around him and said, we love Jesus, Mr. Wilkerson.

You do? Yeah. They live in New York? Well, we weren't born here, we work in here. Where do you work? We're prostitutes. But we love the Lord. Isn't that something? They can live in their degradation and go to some house of worship and never be broken and contrite, for that's an awesome word that he says later when he says, the sacrifices of God.

Now let me step back a minute. He comes in all his disarray, morally, spiritually bankrupt, morally bankrupt. And he said, thou desirest not sacrifice, oh if I would give it. Well, what way was there to God but sacrifice?

They brought the blood of bulls and goats, or doves, or the ashes of an heifer. But he says, thou desirest not sacrifice. Oh, I'd be glad to bring the whole herd of cattle that I have, if thou will, if you'll accept it.

But you won't accept it. Why not? Because sacrifice without repentance is useless. What does he say? Thou desirest not sacrifice, else I will give it. And then he says, the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit.

He mentions spirit three times, just as he mentions sin three times in the first two verses. And he mentions cleansing three times in different words in the first two verses. He mentions sacrifice three times.

He mentions brokenness three times. He mentions offerings three times. He prays three prayers. He prays the prayer of a sinner, have mercy upon your God. You know, there was an amazing period in history, in the 1700s.

In fact, I gave Melody a little article I've written a while ago on that period, which maybe will be in the newsletter. I don't know if it classifies. It's classified for that, but anyhow. It's an amazing period.

Some of the greatest preachers, they lived in the 1600s. All the towering giants like John Owen, and all that bunch of Puritan preachers that have never, never, never been equal. By the way, the second edition of Refiner's Fire is in the press now, so if you do not want one, we've already more than 10 ,000 orders for it.

You better get it. It's got some tremendous, tremendous stuff in it. Preaching with a punch. Preaching with authority. The tragedy of modern Christianity is that we've lost, even in the church, we've lost our sense of the holiness of God.

Come on, be honest. Don't answer all different. Did you come here to meet God this morning, or did you come to hear a sermon about him? Can you remember the last time you left the sanctuary, and you didn't utter a word for an hour or two?

That happened in the Welsh revival. I didn't witness it, but I did preach in some of the revival churches, or churches that have revival, as late as 1949. There were some old ladies there that came to our meetings and said, these are the most impressive meetings since 1904.

I said, well, how, how do you gauge that? Because the last four nights we walked up to the crossroads, and then they turn, and instead of saying good night, they say nostar. Nostar. And suddenly realize we've walked all the way from the church in the valley up to here.

Mrs. Griffiths said last night, have you noticed that not one of us has said the word any night this week after the service? Because there's no sense of the majesty of God, we've no sense of the sinfulness of sin.

I've been bowled over for so many mornings this week, between midnight and four o 'clock, meditating on the statement that I've read so many times, but it never punched me out like this week. The word of John, when he said, I fell at his feet as dead.

I shared it with David the other day, and I said, Dave, how often do we get felled? Stunned. We come into a gospel meeting as easy as coming to a political meeting and go out as easily. Well, I guess you know, a year, was it just over a year ago, when David was preaching there at the Agape Force Conference in, in Dallas, he suddenly faded out and fell to the ground.

And he said, well then, twice, I had that experience of falling at his feet as dead, and all the glory of heaven has been revealed to me. When revival comes, that is, that is something which is regular.

In recounting the awesome revival, I guess we call it the Shang Tung revival, round the turn of the century, Mrs. Jonathan Goldforth says, it was awesome to go to church. You would go in the sanctuary, and we would stand and sing, and sing, and sing, and sing, and then realize we'd been singing for six hours.

We would go another day. Somebody would stand up with an anointing in prayer, be waiting on God all night, and burst out with a torrent of revelation. You hardly dare open your eyes unless you saw God in his majesty.

You could feel the vibrations of eternity. One day it was all song and adoration, and we lifted to the third heaven. Next day it was prayer that was awesome. Sometimes it was sobbing, stammering prayer.

It was preachers groaning on the floor. It was preachers that couldn't even get down. Burdened with guilt, shame. There's an old man right now, 95 years of age, in California, and I knew him 50 years ago.

He went through that same revival. He said, Len, I know you've given 50 years. Recently he said to me, you've given more than 50 years in praying for revival. I have about 60, as a matter of fact. But he said, Len, I want to tell you something.

When revival comes, the sewers burst. The man you thought was the most holy man in the district gets up and confesses. It's like opening the valve and letting all the impurity out. This conviction which has been riding, if you like, in his bosom.

Okay. The first day, Mrs. Jonathan Goldford said, it was praise that was unspeakably glorious. The next day it was prayer, which would tear your eyes out. There wasn't a heart out. There wasn't a single dry eye.

Everybody groaned in the spirit. The third day, she said, not necessarily in this order. You would go. And whereas we had sung for six hours or prayed for six, the next day the whole congregation, two or three thousand people would sit, and from morning to night, not a word was uttered.

And she said, that was the most awesome of all. Beyond the awesomeness of singing, or the awesomeness of the stillness, be still and know that I am God. Doctor told you to say, Len, you've got to keep this in mind.

As Christians, we're activists. We think if we work through morning till night, and tumble into bed exhausted, we've served God. Not necessarily. I believe if you win a hundred people an hour to God, doesn't necessarily satisfy the heart of Jesus.

What is the first and greatest commandment? Be a missionary. No, thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart and soul and mind and strength. And if you love him, you would serve him. It's the key to the whole thing.

David had loved God, and he'd known the mercy of God. He'd known the power of God. Can you imagine him laid back, as we say, on a hillside, the stars twinkling, and he had his guitar. No, guitars are backslidden harps.

He had a harp, and there he's playing his harp. And what's he doing? He's singing, when the heavens declare the glory of God, and the firmament shows his handiwork. I read a statement this week made by, I think, an old Puritan, when he said the most amazing thing in English prose is the 40th chapter of Isaiah, and I've read that over and over and over and over again.

He said in that 40th chapter that God, he says, lift up your eyes and behold the host of the heavens. He calleth every star by name. If I have some, I won't put it there, but let me say this. If you put a one there, and then you put 23 zeros behind it, those are broken down zeros, but anyhow, that's a sextillion.

A sextillion is one with 20 zeros behind it, and the scientists say there are 40 sextillions of stars. Now, in England and Germany, a sextillion is a one with 36 zeros behind it, but then I read more recently that there are estimated 50 billion stars in the Milky Way alone.

You know that shaft of light you see in the sky sometimes? 50 billion, and he calls them all by name. Isn't that beautiful? Isaac Watts has a hymn in which he says, he made the stars, those heavenly flames, he counts their numbers, calls their names, his wisdom's vast and knows no bound, the deep where all our thoughts are drowned.

What is a creature's skill or force? The spiteful man, the warlike horse, the piercing wit, the active limb, all are too mean delights for him, but saints are lovely in his sight. I don't think you'll get fellowships with stars, or a beautiful countryside, or the Rocky Mountains, he fellowships with individuals.

Restoration, Prayer, and the Joy of Salvation

Now, David has had his marvellous relationship with God. Okay, let's see him there with his harp again, singing that marvellous 23rd psalm as only he could sing it. It must have been wonderful. I wish there was a recording of it.

The Lord's my shepherd, I shall not want, so forth. You can turn that around, work on it, it's, they're all in meat as the psalms. Or get a Presbyterian songbook, or get a Presbyterian songbook, and all the psalms at the back are in meters.

The Lord's my shepherd, I'll not want, he makes me down to lie. In pastures green he leadeth me, the quiet waters by. Goodness and mercy all my life shall surely follow me, and in God's house forevermore my dwelling place shall be.

It's beautiful. He writes the 23rd psalm, he sings it, but he's in a different situation from when he said, when he wrote this psalm. He says, Thou didst not sacrifice that I would give it. The sacrificed God hath a broken spirit.

What else does he say in verse 8? Make me to hear joy and gladness for the bones which thou hast broken. He hasn't got a broken bone in his body. He's using a figure of speech. In 1951, I jumped out of a burning hotel.

We had had two weeks of revival in Dr. Salter's church, which he said were the best revival in 25 years. I had a prayer partner. He hadn't been to bed for five nights, dear old Tom Hare. Tremendous man of intercession.

We went to bed on the Friday night, suddenly Saturday night. About half past two, I heard fire, fire, fire. I thought, well, oh dear, this is terrible. Somebody had a building on fire, and it's snow outside.

Wouldn't be where I was, of course. I mean, how would the church go on if I died? Incredible. Surely that couldn't happen. When I die, the world will stop, or the church will, surely. I mean, you know, I've put so much into it.

Well, it happened to be that I was in the frying pan. The hotel we were in was burning. A few weeks ago, a boy died from a 30-foot tower in the Olympics. Somebody said to him, how high is the tower? He said, from the ground up 30 feet.

Went at the top looking down 300 feet. I was 30 feet up in that hotel, and I looked down in the middle of the night. There's the floor down there. People shouting, jump. I thought, yeah, that's fine. No problem jumping.

You're putting the brakes on when you get really bothered. But I landed on my heels, crushed my feet, what do you call the oscalsis, the heels, crushed like fine sugar, the doctor said. My leg was in three pieces, three brakes in my back, both my feet broken.

I'm lying in the gutter outside the hotel, and a guy comes around the corner. What are you doing here? Well, obviously playing tennis, aren't I? He said, you can't stay here. I said, I don't want to. Get up and go away.

I said, I can't. My back's broken, my legs broken, my feet are broken. Oh, I don't think it's so bad. I said, well, I do. Well, he said, listen, you can't stay here. Listen to this humor. Something will come around the corner and run over you and get hurt.

That's all I need. Let me put you over there. No, no, please don't lift me. He put his hand under my legs here and my back, and you know, when he did, all those bones just screamed up, and gracious man, he laid me in about 18 inches of snow.

I wasn't ready for refrigeration. I didn't want to stay there. I soon began to shake and quiver. But you know, I'll tell you what I realized, what this time has meant has meant a lot of difference since then.