Pleasing God - Pt. 4 — Kay Smith

Pleasing God Through God’s Patterns

I have from God's Word a pattern for release for you in order to please God. Now, this morning I wanted to write in my notes and I didn't, but I can see it in letters this big. It works, it works, it works.

I apply this over and over and over again to my life. And it works every single time. It has never failed me once. It has brought me relief from anxiety, from bitterness, unforgiveness. We will read in Ephesians 4, 31, 32.

This is not the scripture I'm giving you. This is not the pattern. I'll tell you when to write, okay? I love it when I see your heads go down. That is a blessing beyond all blessings. But this one you can just listen.

It says, let all bitterness, wrath, malice, clamor, evil speaking, all these things be put away from you. And be kind one to another, tenderhearted. And I think so many times we go, Yeah, I want to get rid of this bitterness.

I want to get rid of this malice. I want, I, boy, I hate it. I know how it pulls me down and you go on and on. But somehow it doesn't seem to be working when you just say, well, I'm going to let go. I'm going to let go.

This morning, if you will follow this pattern that's given, God will deliver you from it. Now, his word is full of patterns. And if we take the steps of these patterns, we will have the results. Chuck has said over and over again that all of God's promises are conditional.

You meet the condition, the promise is yours. So often we claim the promise, but we don't want to meet the condition. Is that true? Oh, Lord, I want this, this, this, but you have to do this. Oh, I want this, but I don't want to do this.

Well, it just doesn't work that way. It's conditional. And you do your part and God will do his part. In fact, he's usually ready to do his part before you're ready to do yours. Oh, this is not to write down, but this is one of the patterns that you might want to use later on.

Will you write this reference down? It is not the lesson this morning, but it will help you. This is just an example. Okay, Psalm 37. You are fretting and you just can't get something out of your mind and you're just being hassled by Satan constantly.

And you just go, I can't get rid of this thing. It's just driving me crazy. Okay, you turn to Psalm 37 and God says, fret not. And don't you find that the first thing you're doing in these things is just fretting, fretting, fretting.

So he says, no, I don't want you to fret. And then he says, next, I want you to trust. Okay, you've got two things you're supposed to do. First, you're not to fret and you must be obedient to it. You must stop fretting and you do it.

And then you'll trust in the Lord and then you delight in the Lord and then you commit your way into the Lord and then you rest in Him. Now, I make lists of these things and I put the scripture by it and I put it wherever I need it.

If I'm downstairs doing dishes and I'm going to be fretting and I know I shouldn't be, I'll take it and prop it up on the window so while I'm doing the dishes. And I read, fret, trust, commit, delight, rest.

And I start doing it. Okay, I'm not going to fret. I commit this unto you. I trust in you. You're my Creator God. You're King God. You're capable. You're going to do it. Okay, I delight in you. Oh God, you are so wonderful.

I've got hot water to do these dishes. I've got detergent. I lived through the Second World War as a very young person. And I remember it was hard to get anything to do dishes with. The soap that they had then was terrible.

And it wouldn't make any suds and it wasn't any fun to do dishes because I couldn't splash suds all over the place, you know. And I thank the Lord for these wonderful detergents that just clean your dishes so beautifully until you can see your face in them, you know, that one.

And I thank Him for the gardenia plant outside my window. I thank Him for the little plants on my sink. I look around, I thank Him for the sun that's shining in the window and to live in this area. And I began to praise Him and then I praise Him just because He's God and He's marvelous in all His ways and He's faithful and just and good and righteous and holy and pure and forgiving and full of mercy and compassion.

And I go on and I praise Him. And you know what happens? My mind can't fret and do that. What's happening? Trust is being built up. And this is not my lesson. Just think what the lesson should be. Then I commit and I rest.

I'm trying to show you God has patterns all through His Word. Now, this is just one of the patterns. Okay, as we follow these steps obediently, we will receive the release we need and we will please God.

Submission to God in James 4

We're going to consider one of these patterns this morning. Turn to James, the fourth chapter, and from now on, you can start taking notes. If you don't get this lesson, use that one. These things, if you've been a Christian any length of time, you know these scriptures.

And you know, sometimes knowing a scripture really well can be a detriment to you. If, I'm not used to that. Sometimes you know the scripture. If you know it too well, you're prone to skip over it. Have you ever had that happen?

And all of a sudden you're in a class like this and you look at it and you think, I haven't read that for so long. I haven't walked in that for so long. Oh, Lord, thank you for that light this morning.

I needed that. That's why we have to go over and over scriptures and read the Bible faithfully every day. And that's why Chuck takes you all the way through the Bible. It's because otherwise we don't read the whole Word and we don't receive the whole counsel of God.

So for you who know this passage and it's very, very familiar to you, look at it this morning so you've never seen it before. And you that aren't well acquainted with it, oh how I pray God will just program it into your heart.

We're going to read verses 1 to 10, James the fourth chapter. Pardon me. From whence come wars and fighting among you? Come they not hence even of your lusts that war in your members? Ye lust and have not.

Ye kill and desire to have and cannot obtain. Pardon me. Ye fight and war, yet ye have not because ye ask not. Ye ask and receive not because ye ask amiss that ye may consume it upon your lusts. Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God?

And we want to be friends with God. We want to please God in all we do. Friendship of the world makes you an enemy of God. Whosoever there will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. That's not Kay, that's God saying that.

Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, the spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy? Now listen. But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw an eye to God and he will draw an eye to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners, and purify your hearts, ye double-minded.

That sounds like a Romaine scripture to me. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners. Yes, you just hear it. Be afflicted and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to heaviness. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord and he shall lift you up.

I want to read it in the amplified because it's a little bit easier to understand and it just, oh, really hits us all. What leads to strife, discord, and feuds? And how do conflicts, quarrels, and fighting originate among you?

How in the world do these things happen in the body of Christ? Do they not arise from your sensual desires that are ever-warring in your bodily members? You are jealous and covet what others have, and your desires go unfulfilled, so you become murderers.

To hate is to murder as far as your hearts are concerned. You burn with envy and anger and are not able to obtain the gratification, the contentment, and the happiness that you seek, so you fight and war.

You do not have because you do not ask, or you do not ask God for them, and yet fail to receive because you ask with wrong purpose and evil, selfish motives. Your intention is, when you get what you desire, to spend it in sensual pleasure.

I must have that new dress. I must have that car. I must have that house. I must be beautiful. I must, must, must. And all you want to do the whole time, all people want to do is just, you know, use it to get more into, really, it's so fleshy and so carnal.

You are like unfaithful wives having illicit love affairs with the world and breaking your marriage vow to God. Isn't that sad? Do you not know that being the world's friend is being God's enemy? So whoever chooses to be a friend of the world takes his stand as an enemy of God.

How do you like that? Choosing those things that cause all that strife and discord puts you in the position of being an enemy of God. Or do you suppose that the scripture is speaking to no purpose that says, The spirit whom he has caused to dwell in us yearns over us.

But he gives us more and more grace, power of the Holy Spirit to meet this evil tendency and all others fully. That is why he says, God sets himself against the proud and haughty, but gives grace continually to the lowly or the humble.

Those who are humble-minded enough to receive it. So be subject to God. Stand firm against the devil. Resist him and he will flee from you. Come close to God and he will come close to you. Recognize that you are sinners.

Get your soiled hands clean. Realize that you have been disloyal, wavering individuals with divided interests. And purify your hearts of your spiritual adultery. As you draw near to God, be deeply penitent and grieve.

Even weep over your disloyalty. Let your laughter be turned to grief and your mirth to dejection and heartfelt shame for your sins. Humble yourself, feeling very insignificant in the presence of the Lord and he will exalt you.

He will lift you up and make your life significant. Isn't that beautiful? You humble yourself in the sight of God and he will make your life significant. And I don't believe there's a single woman in the room today that does not want a life that is significant.

We all want to live a significant life, a worthwhile life, a meaningful life. James really points out this source of conflict in our spiritual walk and in our Christian walk very strongly here. Much stronger than I would have stated it if I had been wording it this morning.

He deals with attitudes that result in ungodly behavior. Verse 1, he says that wars and fighting among the Christians, strife and discord are the result of lust within them. In my marginal reference, that word lust is translated pleasures.

Pleasures within, desire for certain fulfillment that is not of God. Actually that word pleasures there, lust, which means pleasures, means desires of the flesh. What leads to strife, discord and feuds?

Desires of the flesh. Isn't that right? And when we are in the flesh, we cannot please God. Now these things that are in our flesh, this wanting, what I want, when I want it, I covet, I'm envious, I'm jealous.

And if I don't get it, there will be anger, strife and discord. We have people that we come in contact with that have to be in the limelight all the time. And if they aren't, they'll cut you to ribbons because they can't shine forth.

Most of us in our life have come across people like that. These desires come from my love of the worldly system. That's why they are in opposition to God. God does not bless or grant desires of the flesh.

He hates the flesh. Remember last time we talked about our flesh has been crucified with Jesus Christ on the cross. And these fleshy desires do not have to dominate us anymore. And the pathway this morning is through the cross of Jesus Christ.

Worldly Competition and Self-Esteem

But there is a very practical way of doing this. When I want these things and I put up a fuss or I mistreat people or I backbite or I'm gossipy or cruel to others or I stamp my foot and have a tantrum because I can't get what I want or if I have secret jealousies in my heart or secret envies because somebody's prettier or thinner or richer or more talented or more intelligent.

And listen, all of us are going to meet a lot of people like that in our walk. We always are. And we usually compare ourselves to them. Isn't that sick? We do. And we, oh, they've got this and they've got that and I'm so dumb and I'm so stupid.

No wonder our self-esteem is like it is. If we did not have these awful desires in the flesh, like Dobson said in the film, the voices that are coming in on the straight life, if these voices weren't always speaking to us and saying, oh, you're ugly or you're to this or you're not enough that, we wouldn't have so many problems with our self-esteem.

If we walked with Jesus dead to the flesh and daily and moment by moment recognized ourselves dead to the flesh, envy and jealousy and all these other passions have no place in that. They have no place in that.

Okay, if I'm walking in the flesh and this is at work at me, I value possessions and position. I want to be this. I want my own way. I want what you have. And we live in a world that is wildly competitive.

Our whole economic system is based on consumerism and the only way the Madison Avenue people can get you to buy is to make you feel inadequate. If you don't have their product that they're pushing, then you're never going to be all that you ought to be.

You're not going to be as beautiful or smell as nice as you ought to smell or whatever. And these commercials constantly keep us in a place of low self-esteem. In some ways, TV has been a horrible, horrible enemy of the woman, whether Christian or non-Christian.

We live in a world that is wildly competitive and the spirit of the world is to outdo. Be better than the person next to you. And be richer, prettier, thinner, smarter. And if we're not, we suffer, as I said, low self-esteem and our cagey little minds don't like that.

So they start on a neat little defense system and the little jealousy that's hidden inside says, I'll get her, I'll tear her down. She's not all that pretty. She's not all that much. Aha! You know, oh no, she doesn't look good in that color at all.

And we start a little naughty, little wicked system and it comes out of our insecurities and our low self-esteem and it comes out of Satan using us. We're women in this room. There are very, very few women in this world that have not suffered from low self-esteem.

I told you that they took a poll of models in New York, famous models, and not one woman liked herself. The women that are getting paid probably the most of anybody else by the hour to be beautiful didn't like themselves.

Isn't that interesting? And it's because of this worldly system, the world's value system. We have to have a brand new value system that's founded in Jesus Christ. What does God value? And that's why being pleasing to Him does so many marvelous things in your life.

If you're living to be pleasing to God, you're not going to be all consumed with whether you're fat, thin, beautiful, ugly, smart, dumb, whatever. You're going to be consumed with Him. And pleasing Him, you're going to know that you're worthwhile to Him.

You're going to believe Psalm 139 and fearfully and wonderfully made. And I am of great worth and value to God. And every woman in this room is of infinite worth to Him. Believe it and let that be programmed into your mind and your heart this morning.

Recognizing Jealousy and Forgiving Those Who Hurt Us

All right. The pattern. We begin now. First of all, first step, recognition of two things. First of all, I want to go back just a minute here because I feel this is very important. The Spirit is just really bringing it to mind to hit this.

Many times we are the instigator of jealousy, envy, all these rotten little things, all this garbage. But sometimes we're the victims of it. Sometimes you're put in a position that just because you breathe, live and walk, somebody doesn't like you.

I don't know if any of you have been in that place. But I think, again, an awful lot of people have. And there are people who will treat you a certain way because you're alive. I mean, that's about all there is to it.

I am very fragile. And I read that you're never supposed to tell people that. But that was worldly wisdom, so I can tell you. And God has spared me a great deal of that. But there are women in Calvary who have come to me and told me that somebody will walk up to them and say, You know, when I first saw you, I didn't like you.

Oh, what a horrible thing to do to anybody. I don't care who you are or what the circumstance is. Every single woman that I've talked to that's had that happen to me has been hurt inside. You cannot do that without crushing somebody's spirit.

And I don't care how much you decorate it or embellish it. We had a girl up at one of the retreats that went around saying to four or five different women up there, You know, I just hate you. And she was, you know, she had problems.

Really, she had problems. But, you know, we could forgive, and we must forgive no matter what circumstances it's done under. But it was easier to forgive her because there is a mental problem there. But when you do that to somebody, that is devastating to them.

But if it happens to you or if you're in that position, this pattern this morning is also for you. Now, in my fragile little state, I did have something happen to me one time that I wanted to share quickly with you this morning.

Way back in the ministry, I don't even remember why, and I hope this doesn't horrify you, but we had a costume party. Now, don't ask me why. I don't remember. But I'm probably best forgotten. But it was in one of the churches, and we were having this party in the church basement.

And Chuck and I didn't have very much money, but we had to have costumes. So I was trying to figure out what I could wear. And I thought, well, if I buy some burlap, I can make an Indian costume out of it.

And I did. I sewed up my little burlap costume and put on some dark tan makeup. You know, one of those times. And have you ever had a time when you just felt like you looked good? You know, we have them once in a while, don't we?

And it was one of those times. Now, it wasn't a thing of pride, because most of the time in my state of low self-esteem, especially then, I would look in the mirror and go, oh, no, you know. And God has healed an awful lot of that.

But it was, you know, and I looked in the mirror and I thought, wow, praise the Lord. Tonight, maybe I should be an Indian. I look better, you know. And I went to the party, and I was having a great time.

And a friend of mine, a real close friend that I dearly love, came in dressed as a clown. Now, she had her face all, you know, the big mouth, and I thought she looked adorable. And I started watching me in the evening, and I was laughing and being very sanguine and having a good time.

All of a sudden, she walked up to me with a squirt gun in her hand and hit me right in the face with the squirt gun. And I felt the spirit behind it. I knew. I knew it was malicious. And I felt that stab, you know, but you know how you do.

You laugh. You want to be gracious and cool outwardly. And I went home, and on my pillow all by myself, I cried. And I said, Lord, why did she do that? And you know what the Lord said to me? He said, it is important why she did that.

It's important right now how you react to it. And he gave me this pattern. I'm going to give you this pattern. This is what you do. When you're the victim, this is what you do. I'm not quite ready. One more minute.

This is going to build a suspense. I love mystery stories. Okay. I did it. God, in his precious graciousness, did not allow one single touch of bitterness because I followed this pattern. I loved her.

Five years later, she came to church. Chuck was pastoring. We went out to lunch, her husband and Chuck, and she and I. And she was talking to me, and she said, you know, Kay, I have something to confess to you that's been bothering me for five years.

Oh. Can't imagine what that could be. No, usually people never tell you, but I knew by the spirit. She said, you remember that party? Yeah. I remember that party. I really didn't remember it that well, but then she said, I came as a clown.

And she said, you know what? She said, you were so, and then she used the sweet word, that night that I was jealous. And she said, I just have to confess this to you. She said, for five years I've carried this on my heart.

God allowed me because I didn't walk in bitterness or anger or any of these unforgiveness or continue on and hurt. I had every right. Every right. I mean, that was a rotten thing to do, wasn't it? Anybody that screws you right in the face, because you look decent one night in your life, you know.

But see. Okay, now sometimes your husband, sometimes your roommate, sometimes your children, sometimes your friends do these things to you. And you are the victim. But God doesn't want you to walk around angry, bitter, full of unforgiveness.

He wants you to walk pleasing to Him, released from it, so the blood flows through your system easily. So there's a joy and a peace. And we were in Seattle a few weeks ago. And Marianne Hilton had walked up to me and asked me if I'd saved her a seat in the room.

It was packed with people, and I hadn't thought to save her a seat. In fact, somebody else had actually saved three seats for Wendy and for somebody else and for me. And so it just hadn't occurred to me.

And also, I didn't recognize her. And I haven't seen Marianne for about three years. And she's wearing her hair differently and, you know, things like that. And there were a big crowd of people, and I said hi to a lot of people.

And this lady came up and said, Have you saved me a seat? And I said, No. And I just, you know, but it was hi, hi. And she left. And I was sitting there and I thought, Who is that lady? Who is that lady?

All of a sudden it hit me. That was Marianne Hilton. I was so grieved in spirit that I hadn't said, Marianne, I love you. How are you? I was sitting there. And John Hilton about that time has them sing, I've got peace like a river.

And I'm sitting there, I've got peace like a river. And my heart's going, Oh, why did I do that? You stupid. Blah, blah, blah. You know? And here my mouth is going, I've got peace like a river. And all of a sudden it hit me when I was singing.

And I thought, Oh, Lord, how easy it is for us to get down in that. I mean, it was a silly little thing to get upset over. But I can't stand hurting somebody. If I think I've hurt them at grieving. And it was so stupid.

And all of a sudden I said, Oh, God, you are going to take care of it. I do have peace like a river. And then I could sing it with a smile and the right attitude. But I thought how often we do that. We let these little threats and things come in.

Recognizing Sin and Receiving God’s Grace

And these little things that we've done wrong or that we're the victim of. Okay, here comes the pattern. I think you're prepared. First of all, you've got to recognize the source of all this. You've got to recognize not only the source, but you have got to recognize it in yourself.

Psychologists talk about people who are out of touch with their feelings. And there are a lot of people. I've had wives come to me who are in a terrible marriage. And they'll say this. I have done everything possible.

Nobody, believe me, nobody. Chuck's mom was the dearest woman. Chuck's mom and my sis are the two. My dad, two or three of them, had the strongest influence on me of any people. I mean, they are just the most precious people that I had ever met.

And yet, they didn't do everything right. Nobody has done everything. I talked to a lady recently who does not go to Calvary, who's in the throes of divorce. And she said, I said, I just, you know, I had over and over again said, go into 1 Corinthians 13.

Be obedient to 1 Corinthians 13. Love is long-suffering and kind. She said, I have done everything in 1 Corinthians 13. And I thought, nobody's done everything in 1 Corinthians 13 except Jesus Christ.

Because remember, Chuck, as you put your name in there, love is long-suffering and kind. And if you can get past that, you can't get to the next one, probably, or the next. But moment by moment, we walk in that.

And we ask forgiveness and cleansing when we walk in it. But we have to recognize attitudes and actions within us. And remember that scripture, search me, O Lord, and show me anything. Turn your searchlight on my heart.

Show me any attitudes of bitterness or unforgiveness or resentment or hatred. Do you know, married ladies, that resentment can destroy your intimate life with your husband? Do you know that? A lot of women think they have sex problems in their marriage.

And the problem has nothing to do with sex at all. It has to do with so much resentment towards her husband that she does not want to give to him sexually at all. And she builds a wall and she just stands behind that wall and she's too tired or she's too this or she's too that.

Or she just absolutely has such a distaste for him because of the resentment. God will break down these resentment walls. If you're suffering with that problem this morning, you take this formula and you apply it.

And God will give you a brand new love and a brand new wanting Him. And He will be blessed in your marriage. You will be blessed. God ordained marriage. And He wants you to have that free, sweet, loving relationship, that intimate relationship with Him that nobody else shares.

And remember that as we go through this this morning. Okay, ask God to show you any of these things in your life that are building walls in relationships. Satan loves to keep us blind about ourselves because he can keep us trapped.

His work is always darkness. Remember the Bible refers to him as a thief. And the thief comes to kill and destroy. What's the other one? Steal. Steal, kill and destroy. Thanks, Linda. And that is Satan's work.

God's work always brings us stuff to the light. Manifest that works and healing comes in. And John 1 .8. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. I'm never jealous.

I've never been jealous. Are you feeling that way? I've been horribly jealous. I've been envious. I've been covetous. Oh, sometimes it still happens. And I have to go to the Lord and say, Oh, Lord. And sometimes I didn't know it was there.

And in prayer, you know, it comes up before you like a black cloud. And my prayers are hindered till I get that thing straightened out in my life. We have these things. And Satan delights in just causing it to be hidden way down.

And we walk around as super saints, you know, with this phony smile, plastic smile on our face. And inside there's all this blackness. Remember Jesus called the Pharisees whitewashed sepulchers because outside they were doing all the right things.

But inwardly there was all this crud and garbage. If you're not consciously aware, ask God to search your heart and reveal any of this to you. Verses 1 to 3 state the case strongly. In fact, so strongly you probably could have sat there this morning and said, Well, I'm not a murderer or I'm not like that.

And you probably aren't quite that bad. I don't think the women of Calvary as a whole are quite as strongly. But who knows? God knows. He's the one that searches the heart. But you might say, Well, there's just a little garbage inside.

Not very much. Nothing to worry about. Listen, I grew up in the age where they had garbage cans and garbage trucks. And if we had this much garbage in the can. I remember one time my parents went on vacation and they forgot to put the garbage can down where you're supposed to put it to have the garbage man pick it up and empty it.

And when we got home, that little bit of garbage I will not describe to you this morning. You can imagine a little garbage in your life can just destroy. It just, you know, it's not satisfied to be a little bit of garbage.

It grows and grows and grows. It's like an infection in your body that isn't treated. It just keeps on getting worse and worse until you could die from it. And again, the scripture in Hebrews, a root of bitterness within you could be a very small, tiny little root.

But the Bible says springing up will defile many. It can defile many. Everybody you come in contact with. Rebelliousness in your heart. If you're rebellious against God in any place in your life. Rebelliousness is as a sin of witchcraft.

And what does witchcraft do? It reaches out and puts spells on people. And I feel that when we walk in rebellion towards God, when we come in contact with people, what we are inside takes them away from God instead of moving them towards God.

And certainly causes us to not live pleasing to God. Okay, first thing we must do is recognize these things within us. God to search us out. Secondly, and this is part of point one of recognition. We must recognize God's enabling power.

I love that scripture, verse six. But he give us more grace. That is God's enabling power. Grace. So that you can walk as you ought to walk. You can behave as you ought to behave. You don't have to walk in hatred, bitterness, malice, no matter what anybody does to you.

You walk pleasing to God. He enables you by his grace. And I was reading where one of the great men of the last century used to in terrible trying times. And Amy Carmichael on reading this did the same thing.

When these trials got so bad, she'd just look up and she'd say, Your grace, Lord. Your sweetness, Lord, for this situation. Remember when the waters were very bitter and Elisha poured the salt in and they were sweet.

And they are sweet to this day. I have drunk out of them. They are still sweet there in Jericho. Because God sweetens the bitter waters. And he will for every one of you. When there's that bitterness inside, maybe you need a little salt.

Maybe the Lord has poured a little salt on the wound, you know. And let it sting a little bit and purify them. Living Bible says, verse six, He gives us more and more strength to stand against such all evil longings.

Amplified Bible, but he gives us more and more grace. Power of the Holy Spirit to meet this evil tendency and all others fully. He will give you more strength and power to meet these evil tendencies and all others fully.

Okay, refusal to recognize these ugly attitudes comes from pride. I'm not like that. Oh, yes, you are. And so God cannot give enabling power to a person who doesn't recognize it and doesn't call upon him.

And the Scripture goes on to say, He resists the proud, but he gives grace unto the humble. And he will not give you grace if you aren't saying, This is the way I am and I need your help, Lord, and I need your grace.

As long as you're going around saying, I can handle that. You are not going to receive God's grace. It comes to the humble. He gives us more grace unto the humble. All right. Now, I wanted to give you, let's see, God sets himself against the proud and haughty, those who justify their bad attitudes and desires.

And especially remember this in marriage. I have a right to feel that way. How many wives we meet. Of course, you have a right to feel that way. You have a right to go to the divorce court, too. And when you live in a marriage with, I have my rights, you are headed for destruction.

Let me tell you, it just doesn't work that way. He insulted me. He neglected me. He rejected me. Therefore, I have a right to feel this way. Yes, you do have a right to feel that way. But it isn't pleasing unto God.