The Centrality of Christ in the Family — Keith Malcomson

In Scripture. Will you turn here this morning to Ephesians chapter 5, Ephesians chapter 5 and we're going a bit further in this series on the centrality of Christ, the centrality of Christ. We're going to at the end of this message break bread together and you can come then and take the emblems.

But here this morning I want to preach from Ephesians chapter 5 on the centrality of Christ and then we're going to break bread together as a church. Reading from Ephesians chapter 5 and my message here this morning, this is part 8 of our series and I want to preach to you on the centrality of Christ in the family.

Last week we looked at the centrality of Christ in the church but here I want to, sorry, last week it was the centrality of Christ in the Christian life. The week before it was the centrality of Christ in the church.

The Family Under Attack and the Need for Christ-Centered Homes

But here I want to look at the centrality of Christ in the family. If ever we had to hear about a biblical home, a Christ centred home, a home that's under the control of God, it is now because I want to tell you never has the family, the home or the order of God been under such attack as in your day and in your generation.

Never has a young generation had such an attack upon it. And you know when I see that, when I see the devil really making a bid for a generation, I ask why. I really ask why. I go, why is the devil so intent on destroying the very intricate fabric of this particular young generation?

Why does he hate it so? Why is he so attacking it? Why is he leaving no room that either you're going to go to Christ or you're going to go to hell? Why is it that it's becoming so intensive? Reading from Ephesians chapter 5 and from verse 21 here this morning, submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

Why submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord? For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church. And he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their husbands in everything.

Amen. Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. For that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. That he might present it to himself, a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish.

So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife, loveth himself. For no man ever yet heeded his own flesh, but he nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.

For we are members of his body, of his flesh and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife, and they too shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

Nevertheless, let every one of you, in particular, so love his wife even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and thy mother, which is the first commandment, with promise, that it may be well with thee and that thou mayest live long on the earth.

And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Can we pray here together? Father, in such an hour as this, we do humble ourselves as the body of Christ, as individual Christians, as those seeking after you for salvation.

My God, we submit ourselves because we know that you're a God who loves us. You're not just a God who demands. The only commands you give us are those that are for our good to protect us. Like we heard this morning, repent ye, turn away, our disaster lies ahead.

You're a God who commands us out of love. You're a God who protects us, who gives us instructions, who warns us, who shows us the dangers that lie ahead. You're not a God, you're not a tyrant, you're not a God who abuses, but you're a God out of bountiful love, out of mercy, out of your sacrifice and calvary.

You go in search of a people. And Father, I pray this morning that you'd show us, oh God, what a Christ-centered family looks like, that you'd burden our hearts, that you'd give us a desire that our homes, that our houses, that our lives, so God may be caught up in this, that Christ would be the center of every single family in this church.

We pray for your grace because, Lord, the pressures are very great. The flesh is against this. The devil is against it. The world, the institutions of education, Lord God, and even the legal system of our land are against this.

But we pray for grace, that we in this hour might raise up a godly seed. Father, if the parents of Moses could raise up godly children in an hour, a dangerous hour, an evil hour, a dark hour, surely you can raise up children in this hour that are going to be utterly unique, like Miriam.

Lord God, like Aaron, like Moses. Lord God, raise up life, so God, out of this hour and this generation, in Jesus' mighty name. Amen. Thank you, Lord. Hallelujah. I want to preach to you here on the centrality of Christ in the family, that Christ ought to be the center of it, the goal of the family.

If all you do is leave your Christianity in the church and don't bring it home, you're going to have real problems. If you try to separate your Christianity and say, that is for the church, that is for ministry out there, and you don't bring it into the home, there are going to be very real problems.

I want to give you at least four, and if I get carried away I might give you seven, but I'll try and give you four points here this morning. My first point here in this scripture from Ephesians 5 is Christ revealed in the family.

Christ Revealed in the Family

Do you know that the Bible teaches that God has a plan to reveal, to manifest and to show Christ in the family? This isn't something I'm just preaching. This is the Bible. This is a part of church life.

This is a part of the Christian life, that Christ should be revealed or seen in your family. Look with me here in Ephesians 5, it says, Paul we know has taught from verse 22 all the way through to verse 33 on the family.

He's talking about a husband, a wife being joined in marriage and the home that they raise up. Then over in chapter 6 he begins teaching about the children that come out of that family. So notice here he's talking about husbands, he's talking about wives, he's talking about children.

He is talking about a family. And right in the midst of this he says, now hold on a second, I am teaching, I'm giving you real commands, I'm giving you doctrine, I'm giving you examples about the husband and the wife, their attitudes, their character, how they treat one another, how children are to treat their parents.

All of this I've done. But don't miss, and this is the most important thing, Christ revealed in the family. Verse 32 reveals this, that when you look at a family, a husband, a wife, children, that there's going to be something deeper.

God has a plan to reveal Christ in that family. Not just in the church, not just in your individual life, but in that family that gathers in a particular house, at a particular address. God wants to reveal Christ within that home, within that family unit, within that gathering of persons of the same bloodline.

Look at verse 32, it says, this is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Paul has just been teaching about marriage, the husband and wife, and then he stops in verse 32 and he says, this is a great mystery.

In other words, when you look at a marriage, a husband and wife, when you actually look at flesh and blood, and we know they're imperfect, we know there's a lot of issues go on in families. All of us that have come from families, been a part of a family, you know that there's real issues between brothers and sisters, between children and their parents.

Sometimes the parents are wrong, a lot of the time children are wrong. Almost all of the time all of us are wrong in some area, so there's real problems. But don't miss this, that when you find God's order and God's commands being obeyed by a husband, a wife, or children in a family unit, where you get people saying, I want the order of God, do you realize something is revealed there?

I'm not talking about a sinful home, Christ isn't revealed there. Let someone abuse the commands of God, reject Christ, disobey the word of God, live a sinful life, be selfish, be proud, be arrogant, be disobedient, do anything they want, disobey the laws of the land.

Let them do that, and I assure you there's no Christ in that home. There's no love as reflected in Christ, there's no mercy, there's no forgiveness, there's no hope. But I want to show you that as you see a husband and wife acting according to Christ, it says in verse 32, this is a great mystery.

Notice there is a mystery in a biblical home, in a Christ-centered home, it is a mystery, where you get a man and woman coming together and saying, I want to obey God, or I want to function as Christ in that home.

You know what happens? This is a great mystery. The word mystery is used 28 times in our New Testament. It's saying here that when you look at the marriage bond, there is a mystery. What is the mystery of marriage?

The word mystery here is the Greek word mysterion. It means something concealed, something hidden, something not known, or that you don't easily or naturally see. You need to be taught about this. You could just think it's a marriage, it's a home, it's a family, and you don't see anything else.

What a tragedy if Christians gather in a home and we don't see Christ there. You see, you need your eyes open, that when you see me love Candice, if you don't see Christ in that, you've missed something.

You see, there's something hidden in my love towards Christ that most people won't see. They'll go, isn't that lovely? Isn't that quaint? Isn't that nice? Isn't Candice blessed? No, you've missed something here.

I'm talking about Christ being revealed in the family. It is a great mystery. This word mystery also means, it doesn't mean just something that's hidden, concealed, and cannot be seen. It also means that God reveals something to certain people.

In other words, everyone cannot see this great mystery. All people do not perceive it. They do not understand it. When they look at a Christian marriage, some laugh at it, others reject it. Some despise it and want to destroy it.

In our society today, and believe me they do, want to destroy Christian marriage. Now it's got into the government, into legislation. Now it's becoming popular to attack the Christian marriage. It's not just that they want to live their own life or do what they want to do.

You know what? They hate the Christian marriage bond. So we know that they do not see what is in a Christian marriage, that it's lovely, it's beautiful. You see, only those that God reveals it to can see a great mystery in a Christian marriage.

A mystery is something that needs revealed. It needs to be taught. You need your heart open to see it. And that the purpose is not for it to remain hidden, but that you would see it. What is it that's a mystery about a Christian marriage?

Where you find a real Christian marriage, where you find real agape love, real sacrificial love. Do you know what's behind that? It's the person of Christ. I promise you, I would not love Candice the way I do if Christ was not in this home.

He is the mystery. He is the secret. He is the power. That is not natural love. I love her unconditionally. I love her selflessly. I love her in a sacrificial manner. And do you know what? If you have eyes to see it in a Christ-centered family, you are actually going to see in that home, even in the attitude of the children towards the parents.

You know, I can remember at six and seven and eight years old, my thoughts towards my father. There's once that he actually disciplined me and I wasn't guilty of that thing. It's the only time I can remember him lifting a stick to me in all my childhood, the one and only time.

And do you know what? At the time I was innocent of the thing he thought I was guilty of. And I'm only a child. I'm only a young boy. I can't even do my alphabet or my tables or anything else. But I looked at my dad and I went, he's a good man.

He's an honorable man, but he's got this wrong. The facts aren't there. I'm innocent. But do you know what? I didn't resent that. I actually understood that. I didn't get angry or bitter at him. I was a young boy and I go, I know he loves me, even though he's wrong in this.

I knew he was wrong. I knew he was wrong. And I used to lie in my bed at night and I went, my family wasn't perfect. They loved the Lord Jesus Christ. They weren't perfect, I want to tell you. But do you know what?

I'd lie in my bed at night and I would cry tears, eight years old, nine years old, and say, Lord, how is it that you love me so that you'd give me such a father and such a mother? They were far from perfect, but I knew there's those being abused by their mother or abused by their father.

And here I was. You know what? As a child, I could see there was something more in this. I didn't just see people, but I saw the hand of God. It says, this is a great mystery in verse 32. What is the mystery?

I speak concerning Christ and the church. What is the hidden mystery of a Christian family or a Christ-centered family? What is this great mystery? This thing that is hidden from the eyes of most, that most in our world never discover.

They never know there's a secret to marriage. They never realize there is a power, there is a grace, there's an influence that comes. There is a way of operating that is beautiful, that is lovely, that is a blessing that will actually affect you for eternity.

It'll affect all of your children. They're blind to it. You know what the great mystery is? When you see a Christian husband and a Christian wife, Paul says, I speak concerning Christ and the church. I've just taught you what a husband and a wife ought to be.

I've just taught you about their attitude towards each other. But do you know what? I'm not teaching about Christian marriage. That's what he's saying in Ephesians 5. Actually, I'm not teaching about marriage.

I'm not teaching about the family or home. There is something deeper here. Where you find this, there is something far deeper. What is it? Christ and the church. The mystery is there's a revealing of the relationship between the Lord Jesus Christ and the church.

If you find a husband functioning in the right way, or a wife, or children, you actually look at that home, you're going to find Christ's relationship to the body of Christ, to the church. This word mystery, Jesus uses it.

In fact, 28 times it's used in our New Testament. But Jesus uses it in Matthew 13 and verse 11. When he begins to teach his parables, his stories, he says about the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven.

In other words, all his parables were openly spoken. They're stories. But hidden in those stories are spiritual truths that can save your soul. They're only stories. You could say it's about scattering seed and being a farmer.

Oh no. This is about the salvation of your soul. You could think that this teaching about a husband and wife, it's all practicalities. Oh no, it's something bigger. This is about Christ and his church.

Do you realize in the Christian family and home, this is the first great point, to have a Christ-centered home. Christ is revealed in the family. The children can reveal the person of Christ. The wife and the mother can reveal the person of Christ.

The father and the husband can reveal the person of Christ. In other words, there's a higher calling. You think marriage is for you. You think it's all about your satisfaction, your needs being met, your dirty socks being washed, making sure a meal is on the table, showing love and affection and cuddling together.

You think all of this is what marriage is about. Actually, that's only the surface. They're all important. They've all got to be there. But do you know what? There's a greater purpose in the family. The deeper you fall in love with the Lord Jesus Christ, the more you will love your wife.

The more you get sanctified and holy and walk with God, the greater the blessing on your children is going to be. There is a great mystery hidden within this concerning the marriage bond. It is a beautiful thing in Malachi.

It talks about your wife being your companion, the wife of thy covenant. In other words, marriage is a covenant relationship. It's a binding agreement that you actually come into. The entire Bible begins with a marriage and it ends with a marriage.

It begins with Adam and Eve, God bringing Eve, creating her out of the rib of his own side and bringing her to Adam. Do you realize in that story in Genesis 2, we have a picture of Christ getting his own bride.

You see, where did Adam get his bride? It was a work of God. It was a sovereign work. But he puts Adam to sleep, opens up his side, takes out a rib and from that rib creates a woman who becomes the first wife, the first mother of all flesh.

Do you realize that is a picture, that first marriage, that first wedding is a picture of Jesus Christ dying on the cross for the church. Do you realize when he was put to sleep, he fell asleep, he died on the cross, his side was opened up, the Bible says blood and water flowed out.

Do you realize of his blood and of his word that came forth out of him, a bride was brought forth and you're a part of that bride. You see, where you get a real Christian family, there's a revelation of God's plan of redemption.

God is seeking after a wife. Jesus Christ is going to have a bride in this earth. And in the Christian family, we are to reveal something of that mystery. God has a plan in the marriage. It is to reflect God's love for sinners.

You know, when sinners come into our home, they ought to see Christ. They ought to hear Christ. It ought to be revealed through the persons in that family. If you go into a Christ-centered home, you ought to hear the gospel.

There ought to be prayers. There ought to be worship. There ought to be a falling in love with Jesus. You know, I was in a preacher's home in America some years ago. And I had read about George Whitefield.

He'd traveled to America. And when he was in America, he stayed with Jonathan Edwards. And he was just a young preacher. And as he stayed in that home, and he watched this old theologian who loved to read old dusty books.

And he had his little spectacles on. And he would sit there in the evening. And he had watched Sarah and Mrs. Edwards coming in. And how they conducted themselves together. They're an older couple. And he said, as he saw their relationship together, the sweetness, the love, the respect, the harmony, the unity.

He said, you know what? I need to get myself a wife. That's what he said. He decided there that it is such a blessing. When I go back to England, when he went back, he ended up marrying a Welsh widow.

And she became his wife. He saw the beauty of it. But do you know what? He saw Christ in it. There was a revelation of the person of Christ. Do you know some Christian households, the bickering, the fighting, the gospelling, the competing.

And if you've got a sinner coming in there that say, if this is Christ, if this is a Christian home, I don't want it. God help us. We do need something else. The Bible doesn't only begin and finish with a wedding.

Christ's first miracle was performed at a wedding. The Bible has a theme of biblical marriage or the home. And do you know what? It's to reveal the person of Christ. That's my first point. Christ revealed in the home.

The Family as a Little Church

It is a great mystery. God has a plan to raise up homes where you're going to find Christ. You'll find the gospel, not in a church, not on the high street. But if you go to that home, I assure you, they'll lead you to the Lord Jesus Christ.

They'll say, you can be born again. Around that dinner table, they'll share with you testimonies of how they got born again. Second of all, the family as a little church. Not only is the family to be a place where Christ is revealed, but the family is to be a little church.

In Ephesians chapter two and verse 19, it says, now therefore ye, talking about born again believers, you are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints and of the household of God.

Do you remember when we dealt with the church here, the centrality of Christ in the church, and we looked at Ephesians, we said that the church in Ephesians was a body, it was a building, and it was a bride.

The actual church, when you look at it as a gather, it's a body, it's a building, it's a bride. But there's something else in the book of Ephesians it's called. In Ephesians 2, 19, the church, the local church is called the household of God.

Again, in Galatians 6 and 10, it's called the household of faith. This word household, in the Greek, it means those that dwell in the same house, that belong to the same family, and that function together in the same place.

In other words, it's on either blood relatives, or people who have joined a family unit living in the same household. They may not come from that family, they may be adopted, they may be a family friend or helper, but do you know what?

They are gathered in the same house, they are that same unit. Do you realize it's talking about a family or a home? This word household used throughout the New Testament, it's used of the family unit.

You know, when all the McNamaras get together, it is something, I want to assure you, all in the place, all at the same time, you'll either have a revival or a riot. When you get all these young cousins together, it is beautiful, it is wonderful to see all these cousins and they all get together and they're all having fun and they might fight along the way, but all to be together in the same place, I know they're one family.

I want to tell you, no one else is like them. They are a family unit, all together, dwelling together. The Bible talks about the church being like a household. In other words, we're not only to be like a body and like a bride and like a building, we the local church, and how many times have I said that, that we as a church, LCC, we are a family.

You know, if someone comes in here and they don't have a family, they're isolated, they're alone, they're going to find a family. They'll find fathers in here, they'll find mothers in here, they'll find brothers in here, they'll find sisters in here.

They're going to find a family unit of a warmth, a unity. Oh, there might be some robins along the way, but I promise you there's going to be a family unit where we say, you know, through it all, we may have problems along the way, but through it all, we stick together, we stay together, we go through together, and I want to help you through your trials and troubles.

You see, the church is a family or a household of faith. That's what the Bible teaches, but I want to turn that around and say, not only is the church to be a family, but the family, your individual family or your household is a vital part of the local church.

Listen to the second point, the family as a little church. Every Christian family, if it is to be Christ-centered, should be a little church. I don't mean it replaces the church. I don't mean you stay at home and say, we've had church with two people and we don't need a church.

I don't mean that. I mean that the family as a part of the church, all that we have here in the church, it overflows into your home, into your life. Jonathan Edwards, that great revivalist again, listen to what he said.

Every Christian family ought to be, as it were, a little church consecrated to God and wholly influenced and governed by His rules. If you begin to think that your family ought to be a little church, oh, I know it's not everything, but it ought to have all the marks of that church.

Is there prayer? Is there preaching? Is there evangelism? Is there thanksgiving? Is there sacrifice? Is there love in the house of God? All of this ought to be flowing over into your family, into your home.

When we go to the scripture, we see homes or families that became a great blessing. We know the apostle Paul was a single man. He never got married. He was never married. And he both chose that for the sake of the gospel.

But do you know what? He found homes to go and dwell in. We know that Priscilla and Aquila, sorry, let me say that again. Aquila and Priscilla were a couple who made tents. Paul actually had a strong bond with them, stayed with them.

And even later, they started churches in their home. Twice over in the Bible, including the city of Rome, the church in your home. In other words, that family unit become the beginning place of a church that God raised up a church.

Do you remember that great preacher who was eloquent in the scripture, that traveled the synagogues of that ancient world called Apollos? He was a remarkable man. He knew the Bible inside out. He had great power and eloquence when he stood to preach.

But do you know what? One of those Sabbath days, he went and preached in the synagogue and Aquila turned, sorry, Priscilla turned to Aquila and went, we need to invite him for a meal. I tell your husband, we need to invite him back.

He's a wonderful man, but there's some things he needs to do. Over dinner that day in the home, there in the fellowship, do you know what? They began to teach him more clearly the things of the gospel in that home.

Do you realize a mother at home, a wife at home began to teach one of the great preachers of that generation and begin to show him the deep things of the scripture, Charles Spurgeon, who began to preach to crowds of 1520 and 25 ,000 in his twenties.

One of the greatest preachers England ever produced. Do you know who affected him most? His grandfather was a great preacher and affected him, but that wasn't the main problem, theology. Do you know where he said he learned theology?

It was in the kitchen and it was the maid down there who used to make the breakfast and the dinner and the lunch and used to care for the home and the kids. And he said he learned the truth about the new covenant from that lady.

He learned more from her than all the books of the Puritans. He learned more from her than his grandfather, who was a theologian. That little lady, he said she understood law and grace. She understood the covenant made in blood through the Lord Jesus Christ.

Do you see the power of a family as a little church? When that church, there's prayer there. There's evangelism there. The word of God is there. Saints, don't keep it all here in the church. Let it break in on your homes.

Take your church home. You know, people bring their children to church and go, I hope the preacher gets my child saved and puts my family in order. You've got it back to front. You are to come here to receive from God, to take this back into your home.

You're going to say, what we're hearing there, I want it to function in my home. I want this love, this faith, this preaching, this ministry. The home is to be a little church. And do you know that all the ministries are to be raised up, not just in the church, but in the home.

The apostle Paul and Timothy and Titus, twice over, he says that a man is not qualified to be an elder or to lead in the church unless he has his home in order, unless his relationship with his wife and his children and his children are set in order.

And if he has that in order, then he can come preach to you. But why would I want someone to preach to you if they don't have their home in order? You see, the family is to be a little church. This is where you practice.

This is where you serve God. If you can't love in your family, there's no point coming in on a Sunday and smiling at us all and shaking hands and God bless you, brother. And then you go home and you're a grumpy so-and-so and you're miserable to live with and there's no revealing of Christ.

And then Sunday again, oh, God bless you all. Don't we love the Lord? And then you go home and there's nothing there. Do you realize how many children have been destroyed by that? They've been destroyed because Christ was not real in their home.

Philip the evangelist rose up a home. He was a traveling evangelist. He got lifted up by the Lord and carried off to evangelize. He was a man who saw cities changed. He evangelized multitudes. He was empowered to do miracles.

But do you know the greatest thing about Philip the evangelist is a few years later and he's not called an evangelist until then. Oh, he's doing the work of ministry, but he's never called an evangelist until he has daughters raised up in that home.

Now he's married. Now he's settled with a home in Caesarea. And do you know what? Out of that home come four daughters who are virgins, who prophesy. They operate in the gifted ministry of prophecy. They're prophesying.

It's one of the nine gifts and they're virgins. They've kept themselves. Do you see that out of that home, men of God could go and stay there. You know, the apostle Peter stayed there in that home. And I can just imagine the Bible, it's noted down.

You go to that home, you look at those girls and you go, boy, these are some girls. If I had a son, I'd want him to marry one of these girls in this home. They're virgins. They've kept themselves on an evil hour.

They're gifted. They're ladies, but they're operating in the ministry of the Holy Spirit. You see, the family ought to be a little church. It ought to be a place that's safe, that's protected. There's someone in this church.

I'm not going to give you all the details, but listen carefully. There's a family in this church and their daughter going to a school. And that daughter is being taught, and this is in the past, taught Irish at school.

It's meant to be a semi-Christian school. And the headmistress is meant to be some sort of born again Christian or some kind of Christian. And it's got a good reputation and it's very protected and very moral in many of its ways.

You would think that's a safe place to have your kid, wouldn't you? You'd go, these are good people and it's got a good history. And I went to the school and I can send our children to the school. But do you know what happened one day?

She brought back a book from school called The Boy in a Dress. The Boy in a Dress. But do you know what? It was the Gaelic or the Irish language book, not the English book. So it's written in the Irish language.

They translated this book. Lots of books aren't in the Irish language, but this book is. And it's in the schools, the primary schools, written by a man, David Wallams, who's written for those of 8 to 12 years old.

And it was to present a healthy and acceptable hobby of dressing in a girl's dress for a little boy. In this story, this little booklet, it talks about the little boy or the little girl, whichever way it is, going to their friend's house and their friend getting the boy to dress in a dress and saying, don't tell your parents.

Let's not tell your parents. This is a primary school book going in amongst children under the guise of the Irish language in a so-called Christian environment. Do you hear what I'm telling you? This is your generation.

It's happening in this area. This is what's going on now. You see, if they weren't ashamed of this, why are they doing it under the guise of the Irish language? Why are they doing it with these young children?

Never have we lived in such an evil hour. All this transhuman, not transhumanism, but all this transsexualism, boys dressing as girls, changing your agenda. In Scotland, they say as young as four years old now, you can choose what you are.

Do you know what that is? That isn't only crazy and foolish, it is deeply wicked, deeply wicked. Ten years ago, if I would have told people this would happen, they would have said, not a chance. Ten years ago, if I had said this, they would have said, no way.

But do you know what they don't realise is our society is changing. This isn't just sin. There's always been homosexuality. There's always been fornication. There's always been all manners of sin. That's always been there.

But now it's changing. This is far, far beyond that. You know what I'm telling you? The family is to be a little church. You need a set of fire in your homes. You cannot keep Christianity to the church.