TLP 244: Parenting in Christ, Part 4 | what does it look like?

It teaches us that the difficulties and stresses and temptations of this life are designed to produce maturity. Maturity, which is consistency in obedience.

Welcome to Truth. Love. Parent. Where we use God's Word to become intentional, premeditated parents. Here's your host, A .M. Brewster.

Season nine is winding down, and regardless of how much snow you currently have on the ground, spring is on its way. Before long, we'll be preparing our families for Easter, and then the end of school, and summer will be here.

Parenting in Christ as the Foundation for the Series

But before then, we are two-thirds of the way through our Parenting in Christ series. So far, we've realized what it means to parent in Christ. It means that faith, peace, strength, and obedience must be the foundation of our parenting.

And last time, we asked, what does parenting in Christ look like? And we saw that it affects the way we view ourselves. And parents in Christ should see themselves as capable of parenting in a brand new way as they imitate Christ, and that their divine incarceration provides them true parenting freedom.

But before we see how Parenting in Christ affects how we treat our kids, I want to thank Kara for making today's episode possible. A long time ago, she clicked on the five ways to support TLP link in the description of this episode.

She learned about our mission and goals and passions, and she partnered with us by praying for us, encouraging us, sharing us with her friends, and then sacrificially giving every month. And Kara has been such a blessing to us, but she's also been a blessing to you because without her and other patrons like her, we would not be able to create this free content.

So, thank you Kara for doing your part to help us all parent in Christ. Now, let's see how being in Christ changes how we treat our kids. No doubt, you will recognize many of the things and ways that we're about to describe about being in Christ and how it should affect the way that we treat our kids, but it's incredibly important to have it explained to us within the context of being in Christ.

It's extremely helpful to see the multifaceted diamond of our new life in Christ from every angle possible. So, let's discuss eight impacts being a believer should have on our parenting. Number one, God has called us to be, that's right, ambassadors.

Ambassadors Who Parent as Christ Would

That means we need to parent as He would. And as most of you know, we've had a ton of episodes specifically about being an ambassador, but in reality, all of our episodes are really about that. Still, I'll include a link to our recent How to Become an Ambassador Parent episode that includes even more podcast links on the subject.

For now, though, we're going to look at three passages. The first is 2 Timothy 3 .12. Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted. Jesus Christ is God. Therefore, being in Christ produces godliness.

And Ephesians 2 .10 gives us another understanding of what it which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. In eternity past, God prepared a way for us to actually do the good works we cannot do in our own power.

And 1 Peter 3 .16 describes it this way. When you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. Is your parenting good? Does your parenting mirror Christ? If Jesus were your children's parent, how would he parent?

And how close does your parenting resemble his? Number two, as we grow in Christ, we increase in righteousness and move away from unrighteousness, meaning we become more mature. Colossians 1 .28 says, Him we proclaim, Jesus Christ that is, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom that we may present everyone mature in Christ.

Maturity, Righteousness, and Consistency in Obedience

James 1 teaches us that the difficulties and stresses and temptations of this life are designed to increase our steadfastness, which produces maturity. And maturity can be defined by consistency in obedience or consistency in righteousness.

In episode 237, we asked, what is your child's sin? And we talked about Tim Challey's assertion that sin is immaturity. Immaturity then is inconsistency in righteousness or the inverse of that is that immaturity is consistency in sin.

So how about you? Do you treat your children maturely or does your parenting represent an adult version of your children's sin? They throw a child-sized temper tantrum, so in response you throw a parent-sized temper tantrum.

Your child is selfish and you selfishly try to parent them to stop being selfish. Your child is angry at you, so you get angry at them. Is your parenting mature? Do you interact with your children in a mature way?

Well, what does mature parenting look like, you may ask? Again, that answer would take way too long to answer in detail here, but suffice it to say, it would be everything that God calls righteous. It would conform to His character.

So specifically, let's move to number three. True maturity causes us to be parents who have faith in God and love for all. 2 Timothy 1 13 reads, follow the pattern of sound words that you have heard from me in the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.

Faith and Love in Christ Jesus

1 Timothy 1 14, and the grace of our Lord overflowed from me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. I have two TLP series for you to consider as an extension of this study today. The first is the Mearest Christianity series and the second is the Four Family Loves.

The Mearest Christianity deals with the nature and seminal importance of faith in all of our lives and answers the question, why do your children do what they do? And the Four Family Love series is pretty obvious, but it steps through the different types of love that God describes in His word and the consequences of not embracing the highest and truest form of love.

If we don't understand God's definition of faith and love, it'll be very hard to maturely submit to God's expectations in those areas. But if we're in Christ, our relationships should be characterized by trust in God's truth and loving interactions with our spouses and children.

If you want your parenting to glorify God and live in the reality of being in Him, then you need to know and trust what He says, and then you need to allow that love to overflow to your family in all the ways we discuss in the Four Family Love series.

So, as we mature in Christ and treat our children accordingly, we'll also find that God is making us more grateful. Number four, maturely parenting in Christ makes us thankful parents. First Thessalonians 5 .18 says, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Thankfulness in All Circumstances

No doubt you're thankful when your kids bring home a good report card or perform well on their favorite hobbies, but how do you respond to the difficulties in your home? If you believe yourself to be a content and grateful person, but you complain and feel depressed and struggle seeing God's grace when your children are melting down, they're wasting the money you're pouring into their education, and when they complain about your cooking again, then you're not truly thankful in a way that pleases the Lord.

Number one, the Lord commands us to be thankful in all circumstances, and two, when you are thankful, it's quite likely that you're happy because of the positive impact it has on you. Since you lack true gratitude in Christ, you're unable to be thankful for situations that don't have a positive impact on you.

In episode 212, we discuss how to teach your children to be grateful. That study would be equally beneficial for you as well if you believe you're struggling in this area of parenting in Christ. So, let's review real quick.

Number one, God has called us to be ambassadors. That means we need to parent as He would. Two, as we grow in Christ, we increase in righteousness and move away from unrighteousness, meaning we become more mature.

Number three, true maturity causes us to be parents who have faith in God and love for all, and four, maturely parenting in Christ makes us thankful parents. Now, if you're already feeling overwhelmed and we still have four more to go, let's take a moment to remember our previous episodes.

If we are truly in Christ, then He has already provided the faith, peace, and power to submit to His will. He's given us everything we need for life and godliness. You have the same ability to succeed and thrive in these areas as your children do in the areas in which they struggle.

Picture this. You frequently try to convince them that they can understand algebra, make their beds, and get along with their sisters because you know it's a reality. Of course, they have a hard time believing it, and for that reason, they frequently fail to live up to the expectation.

We're the same way. It's not that you can't be a mature, faithful, loving, and grateful ambassador for God. It's that you don't believe you can. You're living in a delusion and living a lie. We're doing this study to put those fears and failure philosophies to rest.

If you are in Christ, you have the power through the Holy Spirit to make these truths a reality in your parenting. If you don't or can't, it's not because God has failed. It's because you are not in Christ or you're temporarily functioning as if you weren't.

I say temporarily because even Jesus Himself says that if a professing believer continues in their sin after being repeatedly approached about it, at some point the church is to consider them to be unsaved and relate to them accordingly.

Christians repent. That's all there is to it. Maybe not right away, maybe not perfectly, but Christians repent. If you're genuinely in Christ but your parenting has not been ambassadorial, mature, trusting, loving, or thankful, then I lovingly call on you to repent.

And I do so because I have to do the exact same thing in my life. I regularly have to apologize to my family and repent of my sinful responses, and the Lord provides the forgiveness and strength necessary to change.

And if you don't know what it means to apologize or repent, we just did a short series on that. Episode 238 begins with a three-part teach your children to apologize series. So, be encouraged. All things that glorify God are possible in Christ.

Forgiveness as a Mark of Mature Parenting

So, let's move on. Number five, mature parenting causes us to be parents who forgive. That sounds familiar. Ephesians 4 .32, be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

In the same way we can repent and be forgiven, we must be parents who forgive. Again, this episode was not designed to dig into the specifics of each of these characteristics. We have other episodes to do that.

So, please listen to the third part of the teach your children to apologize series for help being a forgiving parent. Does forgiveness come easily or naturally to you? Do you live in a spirit of forgiveness even when your children are unrepentant?

Those who have been forgiven much forgive much. This is a significant way that being in Christ affects the way we treat our kids, but it also affects our communication. Number six, maturity affects the way we speak to our children.

Speaking in Christ for Their Upbuilding

Second Corinthians 12 .19, have you been thinking all along that we have been defending ourselves to you? It is in the sight of God that we have been speaking in Christ, and all for your upbuilding, beloved.

There is so much we could say about our family talk, and one of our first episodes strictly about communication is also one of our most downloaded episodes. It's called The Communication House, and it's linked below.

We also spent a ton of time talking about family talk in season six, but the focus of this verse is that Paul's speaking in Christ was designed for the Corinthians upbuilding. Do you speak to your children in a way that builds them up?

Now, that doesn't mean that everything you say is only ever encouraging. Rebuke and reproof and admonishment is just as much a parental calling as graciousness and encouragement. But even our admonishment and reinterpretation needs to be done for the purpose of building up.

Proverbs 14 .1 says that the wisest people build up their house while fools tear it down, and sometimes they tear it down by being too permissive and not standing for truth. And then consider Second Corinthians 2 .17,.

For we are not, like so many, peddlers of God's Word, but as men of sincerity, as commissioned by God, in the sight of God, we speak in Christ. The two concepts we need to pull from this verse are the ideas that our communication must be sincere as we speak in the sight of God.

Sincerity speaks to purity. Do you speak to your children in full consciousness that God is watching and He has holy expectations for your talk? Down below, I've included a link called Episodes About Christ Honoring Family Talk that will take you to a page at truthloveparent .com where we have the vast majority of our communication shows posted.

That study alone could keep you busy for a long time. Now, I know this episode is going a little longer, but we only have two left. So number seven, this type of parenting allows us to be at peace with our kids.

Peaceful Parenting in Christ

This should be super obvious considering the foundation on which Christian parenting is laid. If I have peace with Christ because I trust in Him and have rested on His strength to help me obey, then I'll mature in my ambassadorship, grow in my faith and love, be thankful, forgiving parents who speak with their children as God would.

How could that type of parenting not produce peace? Yes, I understand that people who hate God will hate us as we live like Him, and then our peace will be more internal than external, but we also have to be honest enough to acknowledge that most of the turmoil and strife in our lives is tied to our selfishness and sin.

Our children may be at odds with us, but when we're at odds with our kids, it's our fault. This is why Peter proclaims in 1 Peter 5 14, peace to all of you who are in Christ. And number eight, as we mature into the image of Christ, we should be more consistent and faithful in our sanctification.

This is a wonderful place on which to leave because it promises that the more we become like Christ, the easier it will be to become more like Christ. Colossians 1 2 reads, to the saints and faithful brothers in Christ at Colossae, grace to you and peace from God our Father.

And Ephesians 1 1 opens the letter with Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, to the saints who were in Ephesus and are faithful in Christ Jesus. Being in Christ produces faithfulness. Faithfulness produces steadfastness, maturity, and further conformity to God.

So number one, we must parent as Christ's ambassadors. Two, as we become more like Him, we must increase in righteousness and move away from unrighteousness. We need to be more mature. Three, true maturity causes us to grow in our faith in God and love for all.

Number four, mature parenting causes us to be thankful parents. Five, mature parenting causes us to be parents who forgive. Six, maturity also affects the way we speak to our children. We will build them up in purity.

Number seven, this type of parenting allows us to be at peace with our kids. And eight, as we continue to mature into the image of Christ, we should be more consistent and faithful in our conformity to the image of Christ.

The Benefits of Parenting in Christ

Next time, we hope to study the benefits of parenting in Christ, but let's be honest, simply obeying God by exemplifying Him in our parenting would be reward enough. Submission is its own blessing, and most of us can imagine the changes that may occur in our homes as we found our parenting in Christ.

But there's so much more for which we can be thankful, and our next two episodes are all about what parenting in Christ produces. So, please share this series with your friends and remember that God's not asking you to do all of this on your own.

He gives you the faith, peace, and strength to obey. The question is whether or not we will submit to His will for our parenting or not. So, to that end, I'll see you next time.

Truth. Love. Parents. is part of the Evermind Ministries family and is dedicated to helping you become an intentional premeditated parent. Join us next time as we search God's Word for the truth your family needs today.