Rejoice With the Wife of Thy Youth — Denny Kenaston

Marriage as a Witness to God's Kingdom

Well, I know that is the prayer on each one of our hearts this evening, that our homes would be all of that. As we've already mentioned, the purpose of this couple's night is to build our homes, and specifically, to put some attention upon our own relationships as husbands and wives.

I believe we would all agree that Ephesians chapter 5 teaches us that a loving, happy marriage brings much honor and glory to the kingdom of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. That is the goal for our meeting here this evening, that we might learn how to nurture loving, happy marriage relationships that God's kingdom can be glorified through our lives.

Fidelity in Proverbs 5

I'd like us to turn for a reading of Scripture this evening to Proverbs chapter 5. If you would turn there with me, or if you have a Bible, if you don't, you listen. And I'll read it to you. Okay, reading in Proverbs chapter 5 and verse 15, the Scripture says, Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.

Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.

Let her be as the loving hind, and pleasant roe. Let her breast satisfy thee at all times, and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?

Thank you. Well, the Scripture here clearly gives us, in verse 18, some admonition about the wife of our youth. And as I pondered this little message, I thought, what a blessing. That's all there are in this whole room.

There must be 52 men in this room that are sitting next to the wife of their youth. What a blessing that is. There's no mixture, there's no confusion, there's no mixed up marriages in this room, but every one of us sit with the wife of our youth.

What a blessing that is. Well, Malachi chapter 2 speaks to us also concerning the relationship that we have with the wife of our youth. And we can tell by reading those Scriptures there in Malachi 2, that God is very concerned with the relationship that we have with this wife of our youth.

Now, you may be here this evening and say, yes, this is the wife of my youth. We're only married a year. We're only married two years. But it doesn't matter. As I asked around a little bit, I think the closest or the longest marriage we have in this room would be close to 25 years.

And maybe there's someone here that's been married longer than that. But you tend to forget this is the wife of my youth when you're married 10, 15, 20, 25 years. But God never changes His idea about it.

After we're married 40, 50 years, He still sees us being married to the wife of our youth. And He's very concerned about the relationships that we have. So, we can see by these Scriptures in Malachi that God gives us clear Scriptural commands about staying together.

And we're going to say a little bit about that this evening, but we don't need to say a lot about it. Everyone in this room knows that it's the will of God that we stay together. That as the years go by, we are still together.

As 10 years go by, we're still married. 20 years, 30 years, 40 years. Maybe 50 years. It's still God's will that we be together. However, I do believe that it's good for us to do things on purpose to make sure that we do stay together.

Even though we have the theology right, I believe it's fitting that we do those things which enable us to stay together. That we do things that will enhance our marriage, that will enhance our relationship, because I'm sure that every one of us know people who are married, yet they're not married.

They're married, they live in the same home, yet they're divorced in their heart. And I believe the reason for that many times is because there's been no purposeful point made of building that marriage relationship and keeping that relationship what it ought to be, the relationship with the wife of the youth.

Marriage and the Next Generation

And I had to think as I was pondering this subject, I wonder how many children that grew up in one of those homes where there was marriage, yet a spirit of divorce all their years while they were growing up, I wonder how many of them got a divorce.

True, mom and dad knew it was wrong to get a divorce. Mom and dad would never get a divorce. They clearly had that in their mind that they wouldn't. But I wonder how many of their children grew up, married, and didn't divorce.

I think that if we were to look at the statistics, we would see that it began breaking down because the relationship was not there. Even though the couple stayed together, the relationship was not there, and thus the true vision and spirit of the marriage was not passed on to the next generation.

Proverbs 5 and the Blessing of Marital Purity

Now, I'd like to read Proverbs 5 to you again, reading out of the Amplified Translation. I thought it would be a blessing for you just to listen to these words, Amplified and Broadened Out, and I did quite a bit of study in the commentaries also, and they all agreed with the basic context that is written here in this Amplified Translation.

So let me read to you again, Proverbs 5, starting in verse 15. Drink waters out of your own cistern, out of a pure marriage relationship, and fresh running waters out of your own well. Should your offspring be dispersed abroad as water brooks in the streets, confine yourself to your own wife.

Let your children be for you alone, and not the children of strangers with you. Let your fountain, the fountain of your human life, be blessed with the rewards of fidelity and purity, and rejoice with the wife of your youth.

Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant doe, tender, gentle, attractive. Let her bosom satisfy you at all times, and always be transported with delight in her love. Why should you, my son, be infatuated with a loose woman?

Embrace the bosom of an outsider and go astray. Now we can see by reading this text that it's clear that God had in mind that we have a very satisfying relationship with the wife of our youth. We can see by reading this scripture that there's honor in having a pure offspring, or having a family that came forth from the wife of our youth.

We can also see that much blessing will come upon our lives as we enjoy this pure relationship that comes forth only from the wife of our youth. We can see in here joy, we can see the tenderness of the first love relationship, we can even see an exciting relationship as we read words about being ravished always with her love.

These scriptures, each time I've read them, I've just praised the God of heaven that He, that yes, God clearly described the relationship that a husband and a wife can have with each other and use such terms as, be thou ravished with her love always.

And I just appreciate that because I believe it's supposed to be that way. Each and every one of us, as we look back on our marriage relationship, as we look back to the days when we were first married, we would all say, ah yes, tis true, tis true, ravished with her love, ravished with her love.

That's exactly the way that I would describe it. I've been ravished with her love. But I believe that God wants for His children a deep and a satisfying relationship that lasts all through the years of married life.

And that's one of the purposes for this little meeting this evening. To just allow us all to lay aside other thoughts, other attentions, other focuses that we may have and just put our mind and our attention on our relationship and to ask ourselves, how is it?

How is that relationship? Is it still a ravished relationship? Is it still an exciting one? Does the love still flow between my wife and myself or my husband and myself? It's good for us to have meetings like this and just concentrate on the relationship of marriage together.

Marriage as a Living Relationship

I'd like us also to notice, and I've used the term many times, but I'd like to focus in on it now, that this marriage that is described here in Proverbs chapter 5, the key to the whole thing is relationship.

It is a relationship. It's not just marriage. It's not just a husband and a wife coming together and living together, but it's so much more than that. That which makes it deep, that which makes it exciting, that which makes it go on for years and years and years and never grow old is the fact that it is a relationship.

And a relationship is something that is constantly interacting. A relationship is something that is constantly being built. And truly, a relationship, if it's working right, it just keeps maturing and maturing and maturing.

And that's what makes marriage such a sweet relationship. It just keeps right on maturing and maturing. What makes it this way? Well, I thought to myself, they started with some commitments. And I believe, for the most part, everyone in this room, your marriage did start with some very sincere commitments that you made one to another.

That relationship is a sweet relationship because it's clear. Now, the Scriptures here that we read talks about blessing, that the fountain or the source of your very being will be blessed in this pure relationship.

And one of the reasons for that is because it's a clear relationship. It's a clean relationship. It's one that is legal and open and blessed by the God of heaven because it's been entered into as holy matrimony by one man and one woman.

So therefore, God has blessed it. Well, I feel it's important this evening that we recognize that the relationship we have, the marriage we have, is the only one that God will bless. And it's the only one that we're allowed to have.

And since those facts are so, it seems wisdom to me this evening that we become students of this relationship called marriage. Since it's the only one we're allowed to have, and it's the only one that God is going to bless, and He does promise deep fountains of satisfaction that will flow out of it, it seems like it would be wise for us to become students of this relationship called marriage, or husbands and wives.

And I think we ought to work toward the building of it. I'd like this evening, if we could just for a moment, go back tonight to our own wedding. You know, some of you, that's a little fresher. I see the twinkle in the eye already of a couple of couples here as we make mention of that.

Remembering First Love and Wedding Vows

But some of us, it's 18 years, it's 20 years, 22, 23 years since that day. But think with me tonight, how easily it is when you go to a wedding, to sit there in that pew as you see that young couple up there committing their lives to each other before God and before witnesses.

How easily it is then to allow your memory to linger back to those days when you were married. And that's what I'd like for us to do this evening, is just to let your mind go back 10 years, 15 years, 5 years, whatever it is, and just remember, remember that wedding day, remember that first love.

Do you remember how it was? I mean, it was a love that nobody could shake. It was a love that accepted, it was a love that overlooked, it was a love that covered, it was a love that believed, it was a love that was blind.

Wasn't it? I mean, it was so blind, people sometimes even tried to tell you about her need or his need, but you couldn't see it for nothing. You couldn't see it. They told you and told you. You looked and looked, but you saw nothing.

Now, you know now it was there. Your eyes have been opened. But I'd like us this evening to go back to the mentality of that first love and just remember how that flame did burn and how it covered and how it accepted and how it believed in the other.

I mean, your dreams were out ahead of you. You believed in that mate of yours. You overlooked their needs. You trusted in them. You trusted in their commitment. You trusted in their word. You were in love.

Nothing else mattered. Remember the commitments you made in light of that love that you had. Remember them. Remember how serious they were to you. Remember how deeply you felt them. Remember how you dreamed of the working out of those commitments.

Some of you, remember, you wrote your own vows. It was so important to you. That commitment that you were about to make as you were going there, you were going in down this aisle and you were going to the marriage altar and you were going to commit your lives to each other.

It was so important to you, those commitments that you wrote your own. You broaden them out. The simple ones that are often used, they didn't satisfy you. You wanted a deeper one. You wanted a clearer one.

Remember, it was that fire of love that burned in your heart that made you stretch those commitments and broaden them out and make them clearer yet than what they were. Isn't that right? Remember the workability that you expressed to each other.

Remember the openness that you had one with another. Well, God wants us to ponder those things this evening. God wants us to actually never get away from the reality of those commitments that we made.

In fact, I believe that God would want them to be deepened. With the memory of that flame in your hearts, I would like this evening to just lead each one of you, each one of us, to a recommitment of your lives to each other in seven areas tonight.

With the memory of that flame in your mind, I'd like to lead each one of us into a recommitment in seven areas. Now, there are many areas, but I think there are a few that are very vital. And I think it would be very good and healthy for us this evening if we would allow our minds to linger back to the depth that those commitments were made at our marriage altar and just reassure one another this evening that this is still how I feel and this is still what I mean and this is still what I'm willing to do, even though it may be 15 years now since you did it.

I think it would be a real blessing. There are seven areas that I'd like for us to meditate upon here a little bit this evening. First one is the commitment to stay together. And you may think this evening, why that one?

We don't believe in divorce around here. Why would you even make mention of such a commitment like that, the commitment to stay together? Well, I know that we don't believe in divorce here. I know that we all agree that it's God's will that there be one man and one woman and they stay together for all of their lives until one or both of them dies.

Commitment One: Staying Together for Life

However, I think we also need to come to grips with the facts of reality that we live in a society today that where we hear about divorce every time we turn around. That has to have its effect upon even our lives.

It has to have its effects of insecurity in some of the lives of the people that are in this room. Every time you turn around today, you're hearing about this couple or that one who split and no longer are they together.

She left him or he left her. He ran off with somebody else or she found herself a new man and went off with him. Those things happen in this, our society that we live in, in such a strong way that 40 years ago they had nothing like that to face, but we have it to face.

And the facts are true that the sound of these things coming into our ears again and again and again, bring those questions into our own mind because we'd also have to agree that we've been shocked a few times at some of them that split up.

Even people that we know that we never would have dreamed would split up and go their own way, yet they've done it. So I think I'd like this first of all this evening to encourage you to make a commitment one to another again this evening that your partner can know of assurity and hear out of your own heart in your own mouth.

My dear one, I want to assure you tonight that I'll never leave you. I'll never do it. When you were married, the preacher preached about it, didn't he? He warned you when you were marrying that this was it.

This is all there is. There's only one boat in the ocean for you, as we've heard several times already. But how true it is. That preacher reminded you of that when you were in your youth, when you were marrying, because he wanted you to know for sure there was no way to change the relationship.

There was no way out. There should only be a solving of the problems that you face. And the best way to solve the problems in a marriage relationship is to begin with the fact that there is no way out of this relationship.

And when there's no way out, and she is committed that there's no way out, and he's committed that there's no way out, and he knows that she's not going to leave, and she knows that he's not going to leave, that we're all committed to work through the problems of our relationship, you can solve a lot of problems that way.

Many a problem. And many a time, even in the plain circles, a wife will threaten a husband, or a husband will threaten a wife and say, I'm leaving you. If you don't straighten out, I'm leaving you. And oh, what a wound, what a insecure feeling it is in any relationship, no matter how much the doctrines are straight and clear, what an insecure feeling it is to have that thing hovering over your mind, constantly.

Would he? Would he really? Each time there's some tension in the relationship, would he really? Would she do it? Would it ever happen to me? I think we can all agree here tonight that those kind of thoughts are like cancer in any marriage relationship.

Well, I'd like this evening, by the grace of God, to just put that cancer to flight in the hearts and minds of everyone that is in this room, and I trust that you can still make that commitment to your mate, and from a heartfelt word of promise to them, tell them, I'll never leave you.

There's no other boat in the ocean for me. I'll never leave you. I'm committed. We'll be together till death do us part, no matter how hard things get, no matter what the trials are that come our way.

You're my wife, you're my husband, and I want you to know tonight, I'll never leave you. I think that'd be a great blessing and a strength to every marriage in this room if you could do that. If it was worthy in the vows at the beginning of your marriage, it's worthy of a fresh commitment here this evening.

Commitment Two: Putting God First

Number two, I'd like to also lead you into a fresh commitment, one to another, to put God first in your lives. Think with me, most of you in this room, when you married your spouse, that was one of the commitments that assured you that it was okay to go ahead with this wedding.

That commitment, that surety coming out of the heart of your spouse that God is first in my life, and I'll always keep him first. I'll love him. I'll serve him. I'll live my life for him. I'll guide my family that way.

I'll guide the children that way. Whatever it is, that commitment was one of the guiding principles that gave most of us here the freedom to move ahead with the marriage that we entered into. Isn't that so?

We have that surety in our heart. I'm marrying a dedicated Christian. I'm marrying a Christian girl who is going to put God first all the days of her life. I'm marrying a Christian young man who's going to make God first all the days of his life.

One of the greatest aids to a happy marriage is God being first in our lives. One of the greatest securities of a lasting marriage is just to know that God is first in our lives. One of the greatest strength givers to a marriage is where the couple is dedicated to God.

God is number one. Listen, that'll carry you through all kinds of storms and all kinds of trials, and it may be that here in this room this evening you wonder, is God first in her life? Is God first in his life?

That should never be a question in the hearts of Christian husbands and wives. That ought to be up there at the top. That ought to be foremost. That ought to be clear in each one of our hearts and minds.

My wife, my husband loves God, and there's a commitment in her or his life to put God first all the days of their life. Each has the surety that the priorities are right. You know, I pondered it a little bit earlier this afternoon.

How can you ever give the benefit of the doubt if you don't know that God is first in their life? It means she loves God. She loves God. They want to go the right way. Their heart is turned God's way.

It becomes pretty easy to give the benefit of the doubt, which many times we do need to give the benefit of the doubt in a happy marriage relationship. Actually, it's called trust, isn't it? That benefit of the doubt is called trust, which says, I trust you, and I know that you want what is right, and I'm not going to judge you evilly, because I know that God is first in your life.

So the second commitment that I'd like to lead each one into this evening is that commitment that we can make one to another, to our wives, to our husbands, and say, honey, I want to assure you tonight, God is number one in my life.

I want nothing but to serve God with all of my heart, and I want to assure you of that tonight so that you can have your confidence in the right place. I think that commitment would strengthen every one of the marriages in this room if it were made again this evening.

Commitment Three: Building the Marriage Intentionally

Number three, a commitment to build the marriage. You know, when you ponder back to that first love, that flame of your first love, remember how excited you were for marriage? Remember how you longed for that day to come, and you had those courtship days, and you know, you could see each other, and then you couldn't see each other, and then you had another opportunity, but you had to restrict yourself here, and you were restricted here, but you looked forward to that day when those restrictions would be off, and you could really get into building your marriage.

Do you remember? Well, this evening, I'd like to lead you into that commitment again, that you can look one to another, and recommit your hearts to each other for that one purpose in mind, that you will build your marriage.

You see, good marriages, they don't just happen. Good marriages happen because people are willing to commit themselves to the building of that marriage. Marriages that are built take time. There's an investment of time involved.

There's, it takes attention. It takes sacrifice in order for a marriage to be built, and in the youth of our marriages, we were very willing to invest the time. We were very willing to make the sacrifices that would be necessary in order to build this marriage.

That kind of a commitment, that kind of a vision, a goal, needs to be renewed in our hearts this evening. Maybe it's an afternoon walk, a time of sharing, but you know how it is. As the years go by, the attention of our focus gets on other things, and you know, that which we thought would never, never happen to us, it happens.

We thought while we'd never get our focus off of that lovely bride that we have. We thought we'd never get our focus off of that fine man that God gave us. We thought it would never happen to us, but the truth and the reality is, there are many voices, many voices that draw our attention.

We have our work. We have responsibilities. We have children. We have other dreams, other goals, and it's very easy as those months turn into years to lose that focus of attention on that very fact. What's the news, Brother Mose?

Hallelujah. Joshua David. Praise the Lord. Aidan Merle and Ada Kaufman, a little baby boy. Praise God. Thank the Lord. So, we're talking about a commitment to build a marriage, and if I can just guide your thoughts here a heart-to-heart commitment to each other that says, my dear wife, my dear husband, I'm willing to recommit myself to you, to the building of our marriage.

I failed. I've let other things creep in. I've been too busy in this. I've been too busy in that, and I'm willing this evening to recommit my heart and my focus and my attention on the building of our marriage.

It won't happen if you do not do it. Good marriages just don't fly by. They happen because people are willing to put the time and the attention and the prayers to the building of a relationship. That's how they happen.

Commitment Four: Acceptance and Honest Communication

Fourthly, I'd like to also lead you in a commitment of acceptance with each other. What do I mean by that? I accept you just the way you are. I accept you just the way. It's no use. You won't listen to reason, or who can ever understand a man?

How can you ever understand a woman? Those are the words. But I tell you, brothers and sisters, the heart underneath it is, ouch, that hurt, and I'm not willing to go any further in this painful communication.

So we say those other things, and all they are is smokescreens. Can we commit ourselves one to another tonight and say, my dear, I am willing to communicate with you even if it hurts me, so we can solve whatever our differences may be?

Can you do that this evening? And number seven, I'd like to lead you to a commitment to physical love, a commitment to physical love. If we could go back again to that flame, that first love flame, that day at the altar, those words, maybe they were shared with you just before your marriage, or maybe a preacher sat you down after the wedding was over, or maybe your father or your mother sat you down before the wedding, and they discussed this whole matter with you.

Commitment Seven: Physical Love Within Marriage

And I'd like to turn there, if we could, into 1 Corinthians 7, a little bit this evening. It's something that we knew when we were married. It was clearly drawn out to us that our body was not our own, that we are entering into a marriage relationship, and from this day forward, our body is not our own.

Let us read those scriptures here. In 1 Corinthians 7, reading from verse 3, let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence, and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband has power over her body, and likewise also the husband hath not power of his body, but the wife has power over her body.

Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and to prayer, and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incompetency. Now, in these verses, we clearly see the commitment to physical love in the marriage relationship.

The Word doesn't say a whole lot more than this on the subject, but I think it's a good place for us to start as we're looking at our relationships this evening. That commitment to physical love. Many, many times, the strains, the pains, the hurts, the quietness, the no communication, the no talking, many, many times you can trace it right back to this matter of the physical relationship, the physical love relationship of a married couple.

And it shouldn't be, and the reason why the preachers always bring it out is because they know that it's something that many times makes a problem. But remember, remember that day, remember that fire, that commitment that you had one to another.

Do you remember? That was part of it. You were willing. No problem. You were glad. You were delighted. Very glad to give yourself to him. Very glad to give yourself to her. It was no problem. Nobody had to push you.

No one had to give you the commandment. You wondered why they even said it in the beginning of your relationship there. You probably pondered, why are they telling me this? That won't be a problem. I love my wife.

I love my husband. It won't be a problem. But you found out, just like everyone, that other things can creep in the way, that other things can stop that part of the relationship also. You found out, like everyone did, that when there's a little bit of hurt in the heart here, all of a sudden you don't feel quite so much like having that physical relationship that you thought would just be no problem for you.

But you found out, when there's a little bit of a hurt in this heart, you don't feel like having that relationship anymore. You found out reality was that if you have a busy day and there's a lot of other things going on, you don't quite feel so much the same to go into a physical relationship in the evening.

And then you begin to realize why God put those verses in the Word of God. He put them in there not for those times when the flame of love is drawing your hearts together and into a physical relationship, but God put them there for those times when you just don't quite feel like it.

That's why they're there. A commitment to a physical love relationship with the husband and the wife. It needs to be. It's also something that must be worked at. Now we read here in Proverbs chapter 5, and it seems to me as I read the context there that that is what God was talking about.

He was encouraging a man not to go looking after a strange woman, but find his delight, his joy, his excitement, his satisfaction in the wife of his youth. Be ravished with her love. Have your excitement with her and nobody else.

And I believe with all my heart that it's the will of God that every couple, a satisfying physical love relationship one with another. I believe that's the will of God. And I believe if you set yourself to have that, and you're open and willing to learn.

Again, if you're willing to communicate one with another, and usually that's all that's necessary if a couple can communicate with each other, you can learn to have an exciting and a satisfying love relationship one with another.

It's the will of God. If I may say this evening, the physical relationship, my brothers and sisters, is not dirty. It's holy. It's holy. But many people have in their minds, I don't know, I guess some of it's upbringing.

Some people are trained that way from little up. They're taught so much against it that they grow up thinking that it's something that's dirty. And that mentality is in their mind, and it carries all the way through their married relationship, and it makes many a problem.

I mean, if you can just imagine, if the husband desires his wife, and the wife thinks it's dirty, and he's just being an animal, and he just wants things for himself, that's sure not going to make for a good relationship between a husband and a wife.

It will not. So I'd like to lead you into a commitment in this area of the physical relationship. There's a few things that we should ponder here, and the first point is this, that in the physical relationship, there must be a giving of yourselves.

The answer is yes. The answer is yes. The answer is yes. He ought to know it's yes, and she ought to know it's yes. One of the keys to a physical relationship is the answer is yes. If the answer is yes or no, then immediately it begins to make strain, and I want to qualify that.

There are times when the answer ought to be clear on either part. If there's an emotional strain on the home, it ought to be clear. If it's a certain time of the month for the sister, it ought to be clear.

But other than that, the answer is yes. A husband needs to know that the answer is yes. A wife needs to know that the answer is yes, which means you don't have to ask, you don't have to wonder, you don't have to play all the games to make sure that it's going to be okay.

If the answer is yes, all of that is taken care of. I'd like to encourage you in that area to give yourself to each other in a commitment that says, honey, the answer is yes. You don't have to play the game to convince me.

You don't have to ask a certain way. You don't have to wonder. You don't have to put your hand on my back and wonder if I'm going to stiffen up or not, and then you know what the answer is. But, honey, the answer is yes.

I believe that's what 1 Corinthians chapter 7 is teaching. And I assure you, if you can get to that place, you'll have a freedom in your relationship that will be a great blessing. And you may, some of you may fear and say, oh, if the answer was yes, what, what, what?

But if the answer is yes, you might be surprised how much sensitivity is there. Number two, you need to commit yourselves to meet the need of the other. In this matter of a physical relationship, it is not, what can I get out of it?

If that's how you look at it, then you're probably not doing very well. It's not, what can I get out of it? What's in it for me? But rather it is, how can I meet the need of my spouse? If a couple, a husband and a wife, can enter into the relationship with that mentality, how can I meet the need of my spouse?

If both will have that attitude, I'll tell you, you'll have a fruitful relationship with each other. Point number three, the unselfish approach is the greatest fulfillment in a physical relationship. The unselfish approach is the greatest fulfillment in the physical relationship.

I'd like to convince you of that this evening. If you could just ponder with me the Bible principle and we see it, we can apply it to many other areas of our Christian life. Why cannot we also apply it to this area of the physical relationship?

He who denies himself shall be fulfilled. She who denies herself shall be fulfilled. Does not the Bible teach that? Surely it does and we know that it does. Well, I'd like to encourage you this evening that this whole approach, this approach of self-denial, this approach of not what can I get, but what can I give in this relationship is the key to a very happy and an exciting physical relationship between a husband and a wife.