God's Dwelling Place - 2nd Floor, a Godly Home — Zac Poonen

A Godly Home as the Second Floor of God's Dwelling Place

Well, let's continue our study on God's dwelling place. We have looked at the foundation of this building, which is the perfect love of God for us and We've seen the first story of the first floor Which is a clean heart clean channel.

For God to be able to pour and send forth his living waters through and now we want to go to the second story or second floor and That is a godly home. We read in 1 Timothy and chapter 3 concerning the qualifications of an elder.

Elder Qualifications and Responsibility for the Home

In the first verse it says It's a wonderful thing to be willing to take the responsibility of an elder. It's a very fine work. A Lot of people desire to be elders for the sake of honor position title.

But here it's speaking about The responsibility as a work to be done and among the qualifications number one He must be above reproach the husband of one wife. Which means that in those days as there are today and heathen lands, especially Those who have two wives and we have had situations in India where Man is two wives.

They're heathen, of course, and then all three are converted Husband and both the wives. Well, they are believers they can be part of the church. He must live with just one of them. But he cannot be an elder in a church because his home situation is not a good testimony so these are that's the husband-wife relationship comes right at the top in Responsibility when it comes to being an elder.

A man who's divorced Separated from his wife and married another he's got two wives. One the first one who's somewhere else and one the second one is living with. He cannot be an elder if only these standards were maintained.

Think what purity there would have been in the Christian testimony around the earth but The standards of God's Word have been lowered Till they are hardly distinguishable from The standards of the world.

Now, this is not one of the optional things. It's right put right at the top number one thing The husband of one wife and then verse 4 it says he must be one who manages his own household well Keeping his children under control With all dignity.

This of course refers To the time when a man's children are at home That that his children listen to him That means that he is the head of his house. Because it says here if a man does not know verse 5 How to manage his own family or household?

How in the world will he take care of the Church of God? You see the Church of God is God's family and The logic here is very simple if a man cannot take care of his own family. How is he going to take care of God's family?

The Church as a Family Rather Than an Organization

Unfortunately Today a lot of churches are not like a family they are like a big organization a big setup with a CEO on top the pastor or whatever he is and This crowd of people it may be four thousand ten thousand Who come and watch the performance on the stage on Sunday morning?

Pay their dues and go home and who are members of an organization. It's not a family. Well if a man's running a factory it doesn't matter what his family life is like. You see a man can run any secular factory IBM or Anything like that.

He doesn't have to have a good family life. You just got to be a good organizer a good manager maybe a good speaker and Since a lot of churches today are run not as families not the way God intended all these Professional people who can speak well and manage things well.

Get up, and we can say they're actually CEOs of that organization called the church but that's not the Church of Jesus Christ. Church of Jesus Christ is a family and One of the primary requirements of a leader is That he should have been able to be a success.

He should have been a success in the smaller Area of his own family if he has failed there. He's disqualified in seeking to be a Father to a larger family. I mean if you can't bring up three or four children on the world is he going to bring up?

100. It's plain simple logic so that shows us that before you can build the church you've got to build your home. Unless of course you're unmarried like Paul and Barnabas which was the exception? One Corinthians 9 says Very clearly that all the Apostles were married except Paul and Barnabas so Single Apostles were an exception even in those days.

All the twelve Apostles as far as we know we were married. Peter was married even when Jesus was around because we read that Jesus visited Peter's home and healed his mother-in-law in one situation, so The home is a very important Training ground for ministry in the church.

Home Life as Preparation for Christian Ministry

Today a lot of people aspire for ministry in the church who have not Done a good work in their own home. It's like people who want to run in the Olympic Games. Who haven't taken part in their school sports as yet and done well?

That's foolish ambition and yet People try to do that. See we have a lot of visiting American preachers in India like you have here perhaps as well. And I have trained the people in our church When they hear about all these visiting preachers from the West who come to India with their names and photographs all advertised everywhere I Said You need to know first of all what type of family this man has.

That's we need to find out about that. We need to find out how he's brought up his children how he lives with his wife. We need to find out What sort of church he's built in his hometown only then would I Begin even to listen to such a person.

Otherwise I personally have no interest there are multitudes of these wandering preachers who have never built a proper home. And never built one single church in their whole life. Then what are they preaching?

They are theoreticians. They're like Single bachelors going around preaching how to bring up children. How many of you would go and listen to such a young man giving a sermon on how to bring up children?

Who's never married himself and Never brought up any children himself, but what we would never do in that situation. Multitudes of Christians are doing in a Christian situation. They are listening to a man who's never built a church in his own life.

Trying to teach people how to build a church. What else are we supposed to do? Yeah? We're not. God has not called us to just be lone single individuals a major part of Our life is spent at home. You know that It's not spent in the church.

It's not spent in meetings. Where do you spend? 90 of your time. 90 of your time is spent in two places. Your home and your place of work. Jesus spent 90 of his earthly life in his home and his place of work.

30 years out of 33 is 90 of his time. He spent it in his home in Nazareth and his carpenter shop because he wanted to be an example for all of us who spend 90 of our time in our home and in our place of work and It is after he had proved himself faithful in his home and his place of work.

That the father said this is my beloved son in whom I'm well pleased. I'll anoint him now. Let him go out into a ministry. Even Jesus Had to be proved in his home Before God sent him out into a ministry.

Yet to be proved in his place of work, and it's only after he was proved and found faithful in his home and this place of work that he was sent out in the ministry and Today a lot of people who think they are better than Jesus That they don't need to be proved in their home.

They don't need to be proved in their work, and they're trying to go out and Do ministry for the Lord and by the chaos they have produced you can see the result. That's not God's work. Where did that chaos come from?

The chaos has come because these are unproven people. They are like surgeons who are operating who've never Studied surgeries. I'm amazed that a Christian who would never go and submit himself to a surgeon in a theater who has not studied surgery properly submit themselves to all these wandering preachers and suffer all types of consequences.

Testing Teachers and Spiritual Leaders

I remember meeting a young sister in Australia when I was there some years ago and She said brother Zach Some American preacher came here some charismatic man, and he had public meetings and he said all those who won the baptism the Holy Spirit come forward and He laid hands on everybody and I also went he laid hands on me and my whole life has been confusion ever since I Said you should never have allowed any unknown person to lay hands on your head.

Never. That's wrong. You don't know what type of spirit. He's transmitting to you. I remember once when Without my I was praying with somebody and without my even asking somebody put his hands on my head, and I pulled it off.

I said no. Thank you. I See you got to be bold. I don't want anybody laying hands on my head. Unless I have confidence in him I Choose to submit to him otherwise. I'm not gonna submit to anybody lay hands on my head.

I said, but sister. Don't worry. There's nothing that the devil has done with Jesus cannot undo. That's the good news. So don't worry we can pray for you and break the effect of whatever spirit or whatever that person put upon you in a prayer, and I prayed and Broke that bondage.

I believe she was free. But I just mentioned this because this seems to be a phenomenon. With plenty of money available nowadays and Chris for Christian preachers and with worldwide travel so much easier now in the last 50 years we have this proliferation of preachers particularly from America and some European countries wandering around poorer countries where they can gather a crowd and a Multitude of gullible people just sit and listen to these people not knowing anything about their home life.

What they've done in their home how they live anything about their home church and just sit listening with open mouths swallowing everything that they say but I say If you don't follow the scriptures if you don't compare these people with Jesus and You're just impressed by all those gimmicks and all those things then you deserve to be deceived like I said.

If you don't honor God you don't honor his word you deserve to be deceived and you deserve to suffer. But honor God. Put his word first be like the buryants. So the home life is very important way back in the beginning when Man sinned do you know what God told Adam?

What was Adams first sin. It was not eating the fruit it was listening to his wife. It says in Genesis 3 the Lord told him. Because You have listened to the voice of your wife. Genesis 3 17 number one and second Eaten from the tree about which I commanded you.

Saying you shall not eat of it because one led to the other but the point there is what the Lord was stressing Was if I were to paraphrase God's words it was this Adam I? Made you the head of your house.

You know very well that I created you first. There was no Eve around when you were created. Don't you know that Adam? Don't you remember how you and I talked together when there was no Eve around and Then I and you and I talked together and then I put you to sleep and I made Eve and I brought her to you and you were to be her head and You did not take your proper place as the head of the home.

You just allowed your wife to do what she liked the most important Decision that any human being ever took on this earth Was taken by a woman without consulting her husband right in the garden of Eden and that foolish husband Just stood there watching this whole discussion going on between his Wife and Satan and said nothing about it.

You know in the early days when I didn't read the Bible very carefully. I Used to think that Eve went for a private walk in the garden and Adam went another way and that she was alone talking to the devil and then afterwards she found Adam and gave Him the fruit, but that's not true.

When I read carefully I discovered that it says in Genesis 3 when the woman's verse 6 when the woman saw that the tree was good for food and That it was a delight to the eyes and that the tree was desirable to make one wise she took from its fruit and ate and she gave also to her husband with her and He ate.

The husband was it says here with her. It's written very clearly. She he was with her all the time. He was standing right there and the devil. Why didn't the devil talk to Adam? Have you ever thought of that?

He knew who'd be deceived. He spoke to Eve and Eve replied and The devil said something else and the Eve said something else and this discussion is going in back and forth and what's this man doing? Here was supposed to be the head of this woman he's just standing there with his open mouth and looking this way that way as the conversation goes on and then when He sees her reaching out and taking that fruit.

He still watches. You think he's a dumb character. He just watches her eating it and then after he's eat after she's eaten it. She says here darling you eat something. He just opens his mouth and eats it.

Leadership in the Home and the Church

What a man what an effeminate man the first man was. She was the head of that hole and that's how chaos came into the world. And that's how chaos comes into a church when some woman is allowed to run the show it could be publicly.

The Bible says God does not allow woman to be an elder in a church because Eve was deceived and Adam was made first two reasons one. He was made second after Adam and second Eve was deceived. Two reasons she's not fit to teach because she was deceived.

She's not too fit to be a leader because Adam was made first. It's so clear. There's an order in creation. There's an order in the church. But a lot of churches don't follow. Now I'm not against women.

The Bible is not against women. Paul was not against women. But it's an order. It's like saying God is not permitted men to bear children. There are no two ways about it no matter how much you try you a man cannot bear children.

That's it. That's a function. God's given to women. What do we men going to do about it complain? No, but praise the Lord. We just accept it in exactly the same way God is not appointed a woman to be a leader.

That's it. What should a woman do about it? Just praise the Lord and accept it. That's God's way. So a man must be the leader in his home. If he's to be leader in a church, otherwise, he's going to wave follow the way of Adam and Destroy the work of God.

There are lots and lots of cases like this where You know a man in an elders meeting Can sit with the other elders and take a decision and then he comes home. And his wife puts all types of ideas into his head and in the next elders meeting He has to pass on these new ideas.

And the wife knows I can control this church very well very easy. Through my husband. I just manipulate him when he comes home and find out all that happened over there and tell him what he should Go back and repeat like a parrot in the next Elders meeting and I control the whole church.

There are a lot of women who control churches like this. And you know it says in Revelation in chapter 2. Revelation chapter 2 the Lord says to the elder the messenger of the church means the elder of the church in Thyatira verse 18.

One of the complaints the Lord has against this elder in the church in Thyatira is I Have this against you verse 20 That you tolerate the woman Jezebel and that word in the original could also be translated as Your wife Jezebel to the elder he says I have something against you.

You're doing a lot of good works a lot of service and faith and verse 19 your deeds a lot more deeds now than you did at first all that is good, but He says I have this against you that you allow your woman your wife Jezebel who calls herself a prophetess To lead my bond servants astray she teaches and leads my bond servants astray.

I've seen many many many churches where the pastor's wife has tremendous power Over other brothers in the church. It should not be so such a man is unfit to be a leader. Because he's not able to keep his own Family under control.

He's like Adam Who allowed his wife to run his life? So the going astray of the home started in Eden and It started with a man not Asserting his authority as the head of the home. Now if a man cannot run his own home as the head of his home.

How in the world is he going to run the church? So the leadership in the home is essential. A Man must be the leader and You know what a leader is a leader is not a pusher. He doesn't get behind his wife and pusher and say why aren't you like this and why aren't you like that and why don't you?

Do that such a man is not a leader. A leader is one who like Jesus goes in front and Says follow my example. He's not pushing his wife to be spiritual. He is spiritual himself and goes ahead as a leader and His wife follows this godly example.

That is the type of person who's fit to go to the next story and build a third story one who has built a relationship Being an example in his home now. Let me clarify this the Bible never says anywhere That a man must have an excellent marriage or A very harmonious marriage in order to be an elder.

It doesn't say that and I will not say There are many elder brothers many godly men Who've had very difficult wives? One of the most famous of them was John Wesley Who had a wife who was like a witch?

Yeah, literally she used to pull the hairs from his beard and do all types of things in the presence of others, but John Wesley preached sanctification and he lived it and he Proved that he was sanctified by the type of wife.

He had it. He never spoke a word against her. He was a godly man. But he was fit to be a leader. So a harmonious marriage is not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about a godly leader in the home if your wife is disobedient rebellious.

What can you do about that? You can't do anything. You can see you're still fit to be an elder in the church. I know one brother in not in one of our churches in another country. I met a brother who was an elder in a church and his wife would not come to his church his wife went to some other church and Also claimed to be a believer.

She went to some Pentecostal church and he was the elder in one of these other churches and She made life hell for him at home. And I asked him he and I were together sharing a room once in a conference and I asked him brother What exactly does your wife do to you?

He said she flings cups and glasses at me and I have to duck. And he says at the end of it all I stand in front of my wife and say you are the queen of my heart. I Said brother you are really fit to be an elder in the church definitely.

So what if your wife is like that you have learned how to be a godly example and a godly leader. So we're not talking about a harmonious marriage. That's good. If you have a harmonious marriage, that's wonderful.

That would be ideal. But unfortunately, there are some marriages where an elder brother does not have a wife who's willing To submit to his leadership. She's got the spirit of Jezebel. Now what can this?

Elder in theater do if she's if he's got a wife like this. Who wants to create problems? Well He's got just got to make sure that she's not allowed to interfere in matters in the church. I Remember once I spoke to a brother Before he got married and one of our church's young brother was getting married to a very strong sister a young sister.

And he asked me for any advice. And before he got married, I said brother be the head of your home. That's the only advice I have to give you. And then some years after his marriage He met me again, and I said do you have any advice for me?

I said be the head of your home. You must lead your home not let your wife run your home. And He said well brother Zack if I try to put my foot down there'll be war. I said let there be war win those wars.

Fight the battles of the Lord and be the head of your home. But don't just yield your headship. Because you're afraid of a little war. I'm not for war. I'm a man of peace and we should have peace but if I have to if we have to have peace and The price for peace is giving up the headship of the home.

I say sorry. That's too big a price. Because we have to honor God so Adam's failure is a big warning. God has created man to be the head of the home because the husband-wife relationship. Ephesians 5 Pictures Christ and the church and Where in the world do you see the church taking over the leadership and telling Christ to follow?

I mean, that's ridiculous and That's what is being pictured where a man meekly follows his wife. Do you ever can you picture Christ meekly following the church? That's completely wrong. The husband-wife relationship is supposed to picture Christ and the church and That's why it's important that a godly Husband will Seek to be the leader in his home.

Whether his wife likes it or not. He has to be an example in Leadership in everything he leads by example patience. Jesus Did not catch us by our neck and force us to do things. I remember once a husband asked me a Christian husband.

They were a Christian couple. He said brothers act what shall I do if my wife Refuses to obey me. She the husband and wife are sitting talking to me. Shouldn't she just do what I say? Even if she doesn't agree with me.

I asked him I Said has the Lord ever forced you to obey him. When you were not yet convinced about some matter whether about baptism or anything. No. The Lord never forces. He loves a cheerful giver. I said you must give the same freedom to your wife to voluntarily joyfully cheerfully Follow you if she takes a little longer to do it.

Let her take her time. But you you're not supposed to force her in any way. Forcing is not God's way in his kingdom. You have to lead by example, and how is it Jesus won our hearts? He never forced me.

He's never forced me once in all the 43 years. I've known him. He's always led by example. Sometimes I've taken a long time to take a step which he told me to take but he's been he's waited. He's waited until I was convinced and I did it and that's how he won my heart and that's how a man must be the leader and If a man is blessed with a wife who understands that God has given her husband a position of leadership and ministry then such a man is a very blessed man because It makes his life so much smoother and easier like the Bible says two are better than one because Even though a woman is not an elder in the church, and she's not supposed to influence her husband in any way in church matters.

She is an elder in home matters. In the home there are two elders. The husband and the wife and the husband and wife are two. If they are both spiritually minded they are keeping a good relationship. Then they complement one another in understanding God's way for the home see the purpose of two elders in a church is To prevent one-man leadership in the Old Testament.

They had one-man leadership Moses Joshua David etc, but in the New Testament you never see one-man leadership nowhere. Jesus always sent out people two by two. Paul went with Barnabas Peter went with Mark or John and The they always appointed elders plural in every church that is God's way because the reason is There are dangers in one-man leadership.

Husband and Wife as Complementary Leaders in the Home

The best of us is imbalanced by himself. I'm very thankful that right from the beginning of our ministry in Bangalore God gave me another brother. He didn't know as much as me, and he was not mature as me, but together we sought to lead the church forward and He was completely different from me in every way.

But it was a balance and the same way in a home. If God's given you a wife Who is completely your opposite you can be pretty sure God led you to her because that's how God Brings people together people who are a balance for the other person.

When young couples are planning to get married and they come to me for counseling I draw a little diagram for them. I First draw a whole egg, and then I break it on the paper, and I say see how this broken eggshell is all full of jagged edges.

The top half has got jagged edges the bottom half has got jagged edges, and I say that's how you are to imperfect people with a lot of jagged edges, and now God is trying to make you one and Do you see how when these two halves are put together?

How perfect it is? You don't see any jagged edges. You don't see any gaps because wherever there's a projection in the lower half there's a depression in the upper half and Wherever there's a projection in the upper half.

There's a depression in the lower half. That means wherever there's a strong point in you. There's a weak point in your wife for the weather was a Strong point in your wife. There's a weak point in you, and it's put together.

It's perfect that's how God meant a husband and wife to be a compliment to one another and a man who Forces his wife to be like him is foolish. It's like taking that lower half of the eggshell and cutting it and shaping it exactly like the one on top.

And then what happens when you put it together a? Lot of gaps, and it's foolish or use another illustration a husband could be pictured like a person who is taking a photograph of a building from the northern side and His wife looks at the same building from another perspective from the southern side.

So she takes a photograph from there, and when both the photographs are put together. They look totally different. But that's the way you get a view of the whole building. So when you come into a particular situation Concerning your children shall we permit our children to do this shall we permit them to dress like this shall we permit them to go?

For this school function or not shall we allow them to indulge in this activity or not it's good to have two opinions. One from one side the other from the other side put together we arrive at God's understanding of God's will.

That's how a Husband wife team is supposed to function as elders in the home. Whereas a foolish husband who forces his wife To see everything from his viewpoint is like the man who's pulled out his wife from the southern side of the building brought her to the northern side of a building and they've got photographs and the photographs are identical and You've missed out completely on another perspective to that situation.

Do you see how foolish a lot of husbands are or some wives who drag the husband down to the south side? No. Leave them where they are. It's only sin that we need to get rid of but different perspectives.

That's God's way. For example God is kind and strict and Our children must see kindness and strictness in us because then only can we reflect God properly to our children and It's a very rare person Who's perfect in kindness and perfect and strictness usually we are a Little imbalanced one way or the other and if you have a God-given partner, she will be imbalanced the other way.

So between both of you there'll be a perfect balance of kindness and strictness and that's right. Never should be allowed children to come between father and mother to try and play daddy against mommy and try and come in between and You know the chaos that came into the family of Isaac.

Because his wife had favorites and He had favorites he favored Esau and Rebecca his wife favored Jacob and the end result was Lifelong entity between the children, but who fed that? Father and mother.

Who had favorites? It's a very dangerous thing to have favorites in a home. Father and mother must always be united. They may be different in their perspective. And I always say to husbands and wives if you have your differences don't ever ever discuss it in the presence of your children.

Always discuss it privately. There can be differences differences in outlook or perspective. Need not mean That we are disunited. Disagreement is not the same as disunity. Two people can be disagreed on something and yet be perfectly one in spirit.

Even though they don't see two things in exactly the same way. I mean I find that in Christian fellowship too. I can disagree with a brother on a particular doctrine or it's a peripheral doctrine or Some matter which is not central to the Christian life.

And I can be perfectly one with him in spirit and so can we be with our wives. It's very important to safeguard that unity of spirit. With our wives if you are to build a godly home because We have to keep the devil out of our home and how are you going to keep the devil out of the home?

By unity between husband and wife. I want you to show I want to show you this verse. Which you may not have seen in relation to husband wife relationships. Matthew chapter 18. Matthew 18 verse 18 it's talking here about binding Satanic forces that operate from the heavenly realm.

You know the Bible says that we wrestle with spirit forces in the heavenlies and These satanic forces work down on earth. From the heavenly realm in a home in a church anywhere and We have to bind those satanic activities and lose sometimes our children Are affected by those satanic forces how to lose them?

We have to bind those satanic forces. It's not enough just to pray to God. We also have to bind satanic forces because God has given us that authority that's spiritual warfare. And it says here whatever you bind on earth verse 18 of Matthew 18 Will be bound in heaven.

In heaven means not the third heaven. Where God is there's nothing has to be bound there. It's in the second heaven where the devil is. And whatever you lose on earth here is this person maybe your son or daughter bound by the devil in some way we lose that person and That second second heaven where the devil's had a control over your son or daughter has to release that grip because you release that person.

In Jesus name, but how is this binding and losing going to be done? Listen to a few and as soon as you read to a few think of husband and wife. To a few this cannot be done by one person. Minimum two and those two people must be completely agreed not agreed concerning everything they read in the newspapers or Everything that is under the Sun but agreed in spirit.

To fight against the devil agreed in their love and devotion to Christ if they are agreed in spirit and They ask anything from my father in my name. It'll be done. It's an amazing promise. Is the only place in the Gospels where you find it?

In fact is almost the only place in the Bible where you find it. There are lots of prayer lots of promises which say if you ask anything in my name It'll be done if you ask anything in my name. It'll be done, but there's one place where it says if two of you agree Concerning anything and ask the father It will be done.

This is something that my wife and I have frequently claimed and practiced through the years. As children grow up They face various problems physical sicknesses. Satanic attacks, particularly if you're in leadership in Christian work.

Your family becomes the target of Satan's attacks in one way or the other. Don't Easily criticize the families of Christian leaders. They are facing attacks with your children may never face if you are not in Christian leadership.

They had faced attacks from Satan and the only way to keep Satan away is by husband and wife united kneeling down praying binding those satanic powers in the name of Jesus and releasing our children from the bondage of Satan.

For that To have to be united and it is in this context that it says in the next verse where two are gathered together in my name There I am in the midst so that you can exercise my authority and bind that satanic force.

So how does the devil get into a home then? The devil gets into a home by Separating this unity between husband and wife if he can make this husband and wife who are so wonderfully one Have a little tension or a little unforgiving unforgiving attitude towards each other.

Some Misunderstanding. He whispers something in his ear and goes and whispers something in her ear. There are demons all around whispering things. Some of those things those voices you hear by the way are from demons especially if they are trying to sow misunderstanding between you and another brother or between you and your wife or you and your husband the suspicion.

The purpose of the devil is to separate you so that there's a gap. And when there's a gap he can walk through and you know who he's gonna attack your children. Many children in Christian homes Have been exposed to the attacks of the devil, please listen carefully because husband and wife Have a misunderstanding.

Husband and wife will not quickly resolve a dispute. Each is Standing on their own ground refusing to as they say compromise and As long as they stay like that the gap is wide open. And the devil said says well the longer that gap is open the better for me.

And those poor children the number of children that have suffered Because of the disunity of husband and wife arguing over some silly trivial Usually some earthly thing which has no value in eternity.