TLP 393: What Happens When Your Family Does What’s Right in Its Own Eyes?

Today we want to hear the biblical warning. Today we need to understand what will happen if our families continue to define right as we see it or as the world sees it. There will be consequences and they will be most dire.

The Celebration of God and the Ministry’s Call to Redeem Your Feed

Welcome to Truth. Love. Parent. Where we use God's Word to become intentional premeditated parents. Here's your host A .M. Brewster. I can't believe I haven't.

Taken the opportunity to personally wish you a happy season of mercy. I hope this is the beginning of a wonderful three months for you and if you have no idea about what I'm talking I welcome you to subscribe to the Celebration of God podcast.

The Celebration of God is a decade-long project of passion for me and I look forward to sharing the next decade along with you as our individual and corporate passion for God grows. And speaking of corporate quote-unquote the Celebration of God can be an amazing discipleship experience for your family.

It grew out of my own quest to better introduce my children and the boys at Victory Academy to a God who actually touches every moment of our lives. I really hope you'll check it out. I'll include a link in the description below just for that.

The list of podcast providers who are featuring the Celebration of God is growing which is a good news but you can always find it easily at celebrationofgod .com. And while you're there you can find the Celebration of God and Truth Loved Parents social media links.

We do our best to introduce to your feed an encouraging, challenging, and God-centered focus. Recently I've seen a number of people on Facebook and Twitter asking for uplifting content to battle the apparent flow of gross stuff filling their computer screens and smartphones.

But all they, and you for that matter, have to do is follow the Celebration of God and Truth Loved Parent and you won't want for Bible-centered practical help for your daily life because it'll just all be there for you.

We want to help you redeem your feed. Of course also episode notes and transcripts are also available at truthlovedparent .com because we want to just fill your life with God's truth and show you how it's applicable to your daily living.

So don't forget to check those out. And now it's high time we get serious. We need to confront an ugly and distressing truth today. I know we're never serious on this show. Well that's probably definitely not true.

We probably spend a lot of time being serious. But today we just really need to grapple with something. Absolutely need to wrestle with what will happen if our families do what's right in their own eyes.

Because you know we do what's right in our own eyes very often, quite often, all the time. We need to really grapple with this. We need to be aware of it. We need to open our eyes to it. Now many of you will recognize from that statement the biblical direction that we're gonna head today.

The Next Right Thing and the Danger of Defining Right for Ourselves

But I want to introduce this topic using an example from culture. Frozen 2 has been out for a while now and since my wife is a professional character impersonator I can definitely say I've seen and heard the movie more than I'd like to admit.

But I do clearly remember liking one theme in the movie. At a very distressing and exceptionally difficult point in the movie Anna talks about the importance of doing the next right thing. And man oh man I loved that.

Especially because I was bracing myself to have to combat Disney's dive into utter sexual debauchery. It was comforting to not have their homosexual agenda shoved down my throat. Yet anyway. And instead be handed a thoroughly biblical idea.

Do the next right thing. But is that idea intrinsically biblical? Well I'm sorry to say it took me a little longer than it should have to really work through the issue. But I'll sum up my conclusions for you by sharing what I posted on social media when it finally fleshed itself out in my thinking.

I said do the next right thing provides no helpful guidance whatsoever. Right must first be defined biblically otherwise everyone will simply continue doing the next thing that's right in their own eyes.

And that has been a not so subtle theme of the past few episodes as well as one of the most aggressive themes of this entire ministry. The person who gets to determine what is right is the person who gets to be God.

Mankind's most fundamental flaw is that they don't want to trust that God is right. So instead we reject his truth for our own made-up version of it. Now the focus of today's episode is not to once again affirm that our family life will only thrive if and when we each submit to God's definition of right and then consistently do the next right thing.

We've talked about that. Today we really want to hear the biblical warning. Today we need to understand what will happen if our families continue to define right as we see it or as the world sees it. There will be consequences and they will be most dire.

Of course at the end we are going to talk about the important things that we need to be doing but this is an admonition we all need. If your three-year-old doesn't submit to God's expectation for what's right he's going to grow into a 15 year old who doesn't submit to God's expectation of what's right.

And that means barring an act of God he's going to become a 50 year old who will do nothing more or less than what seems right in his own eyes. And there will be dire consequences. My children are studying geometry this year and I love the importance the opening chapters are putting on logic, reasoning, induction, deduction, syllogism, and the like.

This world hasn't forgotten what those things are. They were never taught them in the first place. The idea that anything can be proven true or false is foreign to this generation. And our kids will end up the exact same way if we continue allowing them to believe they get to decide what's good and what's bad, what's true and what's false.

We need to teach our children how to think. We need to teach them to think correctly about what's right. We need to teach them what will happen when they reject what's right and we need to start as early as possible and repeat it as often as possible.

So today we're going to work toward the dual purpose of hearing God's warning concerning doing what's right in our own eyes and equipping ourselves with the biblical truth necessary to warn our kids. As always I'll include all of the Bible verses I cite in our free episode notes.

Doing What Is Right in Our Own Eyes Is Forbidden, Delusional, and Dangerous

Number one, doing what is right in our own eyes is forbidden by God. Isaiah 5 21, woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and clever in their own sight. Proverbs 3 5, do not lean on your own understanding.

Proverbs 3 7, do not be wise in your own eyes. It should be clear to us that whatever we think is right, left to ourselves, whatever we could imagine would be the best choice in any given situation, is going to be wrong and God doesn't want us to do it.

However, as we'll see later, this is not simply because God is a buzzkill. He doesn't want us following our own hearts because he knows how destructive it is and how wonderful his way is. He really does love us.

So let's continue. Number two, doing what is right in our own eyes is delusional. By this point we should be very familiar with Jeremiah 17 9, the heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick.

Who can understand it? It would be crazy to trust someone who has proven themselves over and over to be manipulative, deceitful, and a compulsive liar. Well, that's what we do when we trust our own hearts.

Proverbs 16 2, all the ways of a man are clean in his own sight, but the Lord weighs the motives. Proverbs 21 2, every man's way is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the hearts. Man is limited.

Why would we trust our own perceptions? God is infinite. It would be crazy not to trust his. Proverbs 12 15, the way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel. Proverbs 26 12, do you see a man wise in his own eyes?

There is more hope for a fool than for him. Proverbs 28 26, he who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but he who walks wisely will be delivered. It is delusional, crazy, and foolish to trust our feelings, lean on our own understanding, and listen to the deceitful whims of our hearts.

Now, this is pretty anti-cultural and definitely counterintuitive. In order to embrace this teaching, most would demand a reason. Why is it foolish to do what's right in my own eyes? Well, thankfully God gives the answer.

Self-Worship in Judges, Deuteronomy, and 1 Samuel

Number three, doing what is right in our own eyes is dangerous. Isaiah 5 21, woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and clever in their own sight. The word translated woe is an interjection exclaiming warning and grief.

Why? Because God knows what happens when our families do the next right thing that we feel is right. Hosea 14 9, whoever is wise, let him understand these things. Whoever is discerning, let him know them.

For the ways of the Lord are right, and the righteous will walk in them, but transgressors will stumble in them. It's interesting to note that this is the very last verse of Hosea. Hosea is a sad tale of a man and his wife who present a living metaphor of the adultery of the nation of Israel against God.

We did an episode called Hosea Parenting, you should check that out. Anyway, after a whole book of condemnations, warnings, and calls to repentance, the book ends with whoever is wise, let him understand these things.

Whoever is discerning, let him know them. For the ways of the Lord are right, and the righteous will walk in them, but transgressors will stumble in them. James 4 17 tells us, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin.

The Bible is clear from cover to cover that sin hurts. If we know what God says is right and choose to do our own thing, we're sinning and inviting all of the hurt that accompanies that. Now let's turn our ears to the Proverbs.

Proverbs 14 12 says, there is a way which seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death. And the exact same warning is repeated in Proverbs 16 25, there is a way which seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.

How more dangerous could something be? When our families waft our way through life doing as we please, we're inviting pain, destruction, and death into our homes. So the next question is, why is following our hearts and leaning on our own opinions and feelings so damaging?

Are we really that dumb that we can't come up with a decent plan? No, the root of this issue is much different than that. Number four, doing what is right in our own eyes is a sin of worship. The reason doing what's right in our own eyes destroys us and the ones we love is that it's motivated by self.

Even when I do something that would otherwise be considered a good idea, but I do it for my own glory, that choice will backfire every time. But how do we know that doing what's right in our own eyes is a problem of worship?

Well, the book of Judges ends by telling about how the men of the tribe of Benjamin kidnapped a bunch of women to be their wives. It was a regular sobbing women from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers kind of moment.

And after relating this historical account, Judges 21 -25 ends the book with this statement that was repeated many times throughout the entire book. In those days there was no king in Israel. Everyone did what was right in his own eyes.

That's the last verse in Judges. Okay, Aaron, but what does that have to do with worship? This was an illustration of a point that was made earlier in the book. Judges 17 -6 also says, in those days there was no king in Israel.

Every man did what was right in his own eyes. But what's interesting about this verse is that the entire context of everything that went before and after it had to do with worship. Judges 17 starts with an anecdote of Micah's idolatry.

This man makes an idol under the guise of worship of Yahweh and then a traveling Levite visits Micah and Micah persuades him to stay and become his priest. And the chapter ends with, then Micah said, now I know that the Lord will prosper me seeing I have a Levite as priest.

And smack in the middle of the story is the verse, in those days there was no king in Israel and every man did what was right in his own eyes. We have a similar situation in Deuteronomy 12 -8. Under inspiration, Moses writes, you shall not do at all what we are doing here today.

Every man doing whatever is right in his own eyes. And guess what the context of this command is? That's right, it's all about worship. God is commanding the children of Israel to enter the land and destroy the high places of false worship and to set up a righteous place to offer true worship to God.

The whole chapter is about that and God sternly warns them that doing whatever is right in their own eyes will not result in them worshiping God the way they should. And then listen to God's words to Samuel in 1st Samuel 8 -7.

The Lord said to Samuel, listen to the voice of the people in regard to all that they say to you, for they have not rejected you, but they have rejected me from being king over them. The people wanted what was right in their own eyes.

They wanted a human king. They didn't want God and his prophets and priests. And God perfectly pinpoints the problem. They had rejected God and substituted his worship for allegiance to the puny gods of self.

Now let's consider Christ's words in the New Testament, Luke 16, 15 -17. And he said to them, you are those who justify yourselves in the sight of men, but God knows your hearts. For that which is highly esteemed among men is detestable in the sight of God.

The law and the prophets were proclaimed until John. Since that time the gospel, the kingdom of God, has been preached and everyone is forcing his way into it. But it is easier for heaven and earth to pass away than for one stroke of a letter of the law to fail.

Your family will worship God or will worship self. They'll highly esteem men and their ideas, which are detestable to God, or they'll esteem the Lord and live a blessed life. Consider Psalm 1. How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the path of sinners, nor sit in the seat of scoffers.

But his delight is where? In the law of the Lord, and in his law he meditates day and night. He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season. And his leaf does not wither, and in whatever he does he prospers.

The wicked are not so, but they are like the chaff which the wind drives away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. For the Lord knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.

Psalm 1 provides a choice. Listen to the failure philosophies of the flesh or listen to the perfect counsel of God. Leaning on our own understanding, following our hearts, and doing what's right in our own eyes is a question of worship.

But like I said earlier, God loves us. That's why he commands our families not to live according to what we think is right. It's delusional and dangerous because it's a manifestation of the most abhorrent sin, self-worship, and a rejection of God.

Doing What Is Right in God’s Eyes Is the Only Option

So the only way to avoid such a situation is this. Number five, doing what is right in God's eyes is the only option. Quoting the children of Israel, God said through Ezekiel in chapter 18 verse 29, the way of the Lord is not right.

Are my ways not right, O house of Israel? Is not your ways that are not right? God is the final arbiter of what is right, and the comforting reality is that since he never changes, the standard of right never changes.

Deuteronomy 6 18, you shall do what is right and good in the sight of the Lord, that it may be well with you. Psalm 18 29, good and upright is the Lord, therefore he instructs sinners in the way. He leads the humble in justice and he teaches the humble his way.

We looked at Hosea 14 9 already, but consider it again. Whoever is wise, let him understand these things. Whoever is discerning, let him know them. Know what? For the ways of the Lord are right, and the righteous will walk in them, but transgressors will stumble in them.

Proverbs 3 5 through 8, trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make your path straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes.

Fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your body and refreshment to your bones. And how could God proclaim all these things? It's due to the simple fact that he is truth. Psalm 119 160, the sum of your word is truth, and every one of your righteous ordinances is everlasting.

In John 14 6, Jesus proclaimed, I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father but through me. While praying to the Father concerning the disciples, in John 17 17, Jesus said, sanctify them in the truth.

Your word is truth. And Peter, in Acts 10 34, opened his mouth and said, I most certainly understand now that God is not one to show partiality, but in every nation the man who fears him and does what is right is welcome to him.

Now, as we come to a close today, let us consider the very first human sins and the pattern they set for every sin that would follow. Genesis 3 6 records, when the woman saw that the tree was good for food and that it was a delight to the eyes and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate, and she gave also to her husband with her and he ate.

Adam and Eve rejected what was right. They set their own desires above God's. In their first act of self-autonomy, they damned the human race to a temporal life of sin and suffering. My friends, your family members are doing something right now.

They're either wafting through life, responding instinctually like emotional animals, or they're calculating how they can best accomplish what makes them happy, or they're consciously desiring to please the Lord in all they do.

The first two are doing what's right in their own eyes. The third is acknowledging the truth of the Lord. Now, you can't make your kids obey, but you can remember the point of nearly every parenting conversation.

Draw them to the truth of God and call them to accept that truth. There's a growing emphasis on something that people call faith conversations, but what is that exactly? I'll tell you. For as long as I can remember, Christian parents have been encouraged to have family devotions.

These typically took the form of mini sermons, small Bible studies, and the like that were age-appropriate and family-oriented. The idea was rightly conceived, but the execution was problematic in that it sent all the wrong messages.

Basically, people just started having another church service at home. Many families were even singing hymns during their family devotions. And that's great in theory, but questions begun to be asked. If the pastor and Sunday school teachers can do this much better than I can without me having to spend even more of my already limited family time preparing for family devos, why not use my time playing with the kids and let the professionals, quote-unquote, teach my family?

Of course, the response was to create family devo curricula that would be so easy to use no prep time was needed. Now, please understand, I'm not against family devos. I think they're a great idea, but there's still one massive glaring issue.

If the only time your family talks about or interacts with God is at church, there's a problem. But if the only time your family talks about or interacts with God is at church or during family devotions, you still have the same problem.

Enter the idea of faith conversations. Faith conversations are supposed to be intentional times when we talk about God and his place and impact in our lives that aren't scheduled. They happen as we live life, and this too is a great idea.

But if the only time your family talks about or interacts with God is at church, during family devotions, or during the daily faith conversations, you still have the same problem. Sure, your kids are getting more teaching concerning God, but what if we approached this from a biblical perspective?

We just read tons of verses that revealed that we will either do what's right in our own eyes or we'll do what's right in God's. We'll define right or he'll define right. We'll worship ourselves or we'll worship him, and that's happening during every single waking moment of every single day.

Even if we could argue that when we're participating in church, family devotions, and daily faith conversations, every member of our family is 100 worshiping God and walking in his truth. Even if we could argue that, which we can't, what about all the other times?

So here's my question. I know it's a practical impossibility, one in which we'll fail more than we'll succeed, but what if instead of trying to have faith conversations, we actually just lived every moment, every word, every thought, every emotion, every desire in faith?

Is it still a faith conversation when it doesn't end? Isn't it just a Christ honoring conversation? Isn't that the way conversation was created to work in the first place? But it's more than just conversations.

It's faith washing dishes and faith mowing the lawn. It's faith getting ready for bed and faith homework. It's faith karate class and faith movie watching. Paul in Romans 14 23 reminds us that whatever is not from faith is sin.

So we shouldn't be okay with our families doing what's right in their own eyes as long as they're doing what's right in God's eyes at other times. The Catholic concept that our good deeds cannot weigh our bad is not biblical.

Sin is sin. We shouldn't tolerate any of it. Therefore, instead of merely having the occasional faith conversation, how about we strive with everything in us, including the Holy Spirit, of course, to teach our families to live by faith all of the time?

Habakkuk 2 .4, the just shall live by faith. Romans 1 .17, the just shall live by faith. Galatians 3 .11, the just shall live by faith. And Hebrews 10 .38, guess what? The just shall live by faith. We need to set the expectation that it will never be okay for our families to do what's right in their own eyes.

We need to allow God to set the standard for what right is, and we have to consume ourselves with the Scriptures because that's the only place where we can know what the right choice is. We need to stop doing what feels right.

We need to stop doing what the world tells us is right. We need to know God's Word, trust His Word, and live faith. And this applies to everything from how we respond to the sanctity of life in the womb and out of the womb, to sexuality, to government, to racism, to pandemics, to authority, and to absolutely every thought, question, opinion, idea, and philosophy any human being will ever encounter.

Please share this episode on your favorite social media outlets, and never hesitate to contact us at counselor at truthloveparent .com or call us at 828 -423 -0894 if you have a question about a unique family situation.

Parenting by Truth and Love in Every Moment

I know that a lot of the things we talk about on this show are big and oftentimes very serious, and sometimes they can just seem so overwhelming. How do I stop having faith conversations and family devos?

How do I just live in faith? How do I teach my children to stop leaning on their own understanding? It really is very big, and I don't want to make it seem like it's the most simple thing in the world.

It's not. It takes a lot of work, and we need the power of the Holy Spirit, and I want you to know that we are here to help. If you have questions about how do I help my children see what's right in God's eyes in this particular situation, and how do we help them do that, we would love to talk to you about that.

Because remember, if we want our children to grow up into Christ, and that is the goal, we must parent them in what? That's right, truth and love. That means that we will lovingly teach our children how they need to live every moment of every day faithfully trusting the God of truth to show us what is right from his Word.

So to that end, please join us next time as we ask, what does it mean to teach your.

Children to think? Truth. Love. Parents. is part of the Evermind Ministries family and is dedicated to helping you become an intentional premeditated parent. Join us next time as we search God's Word for the truth your family needs today.