Softies in the Hands of a Santa Claus God — E.A. Johnston

The Santa Claus View of Salvation

Welcome to church, friends. It's nice to know that the old-fashioned definition of hell is just a myth. And if there even is a hell, it's just a detention center where you go to work out your problems before you go to heaven.

And the road to heaven is full of diversity and inclusion. Why, you can be a Buddhist or a Muslim or a Mormon. You can be a drunkard or a thief or a practicing homosexual and still walk the streets of gold.

Because God is a God of love and he accepts everyone for who they are. He's not judgmental, but just the opposite. Why, he's made the gates of heaven so wide that anyone can pass through without having to change their lifestyle or bad habits.

And we all have bad habits, you know. Some old-fashioned preachers used to call your bad habits sin, but that's just too harsh. Because God understands you and he's more tolerant today and more understanding.

And he knows your bad habits and he's okay with them. I mean, after all, you can't help but if you have some bad habits, you can't help but if you're disobedient to God. Because one bad habit or another can't really keep you out of heaven because God knows that he loves you.

And his arms are so wide in accepting that any sincere person can go to heaven, bad habit or not. Because God just accepts you for who you are. Why, God is like a big jolly Santa Claus who just keeps a naughty and nice list.

And if you're on the naughty list, you can still go to heaven. Because God is so good in understanding. After all, Jesus came to earth so men could be happy. Jesus wants you to be happy. He wants to make your journey here a little more comfortable.

Jesus is no killjoy. He understands you may be a little confused about your sexual or gender identity. And he's okay with that. Jesus wants you to be accepted. He wants you to be happy. And when you die, it's good to know that everyone goes to heaven.

Sin, Judgment, and the Reality of Damnation

Because most people are honest and kind to their neighbors. And only serial killers and sociopaths would be excluded from heaven. Now for the real truth, friends. What I've just described is the prevailing attitude in the world today.

Particularly in many churches where we've brought in the way of salvation in ways Jesus never did. We have teachers and few preachers. We have babysitter pastors who just want to feed their people pablum and amuse them with entertaining stories that showcase a feel-good Christianity that has no cross in it nor strings attached.

But faithful ministers in former times preached about a future judgment that awaited all mankind. And they called sin black and hell hot. And they warned their hearers about the dangers of damnation in a devil's hell.

Humanity's Ruined Nature and Condemnation Under God's Law

They preached that you were born with a plague of your own heart and a foulness of a ruined nature that you inherited originally from Adam. And that because of the badness of your heart you were hopeless and helpless lost sinners who will one day stand before a thrice holy God who hates sin with the whole of his being.

Because man in his natural condition is under the condemnation of a righteous God who must punish sin. For the sentencing of the law must be carried out upon all guilty lawbreakers. That you must repent or just go on to hell.

Regeneration Through the New Birth

And no one gets into God's holy heaven unless they are regenerated by the Spirit of God through a work of grace upon the heart through the new birth. You must be washed in the blood and born from above or God will surely send you to hell.

Fearless Preaching and Righteousness in Christ

Even if you are the chairman of the deacons. What we need today, friends, are God-called preachers who won't fear men but only fear God. Who will be honest with the souls of men and warn them of a future judgment where every mother's son will be held up against the strictness and severity of God's unbending law.

And all will fail that test if they stand there in their own merits for all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. You must stand there in the merits of another, the Lord Jesus Christ. Listen, friends, we need men who will take the Word of God and preach the great doctrines of ruin, redemption, repentance, and regeneration in the power of the Holy Spirit of God.

Historic Gospel Champions and Their Holy Zeal

The great need of this hour is for God to raise up men like these. The Apostle Paul, Luther, Wesley, Whitefield, Knox, Edwards, Finney, Spurgeon, Moody each shared a comedy nominator, a fire in their belly.

They each were so eaten up with the gospel and thirsty for Christ and filled with the Holy Ghost they could not stand idly by while others perished. They saw nothing but eternity, worshiped the Holy God, and served the risen Christ living not for earth nor its gains, but living only for heaven and its rewards.

Hell, the Cross, and Christ Crucified

When they preached, they linked the devil with sin and the cross with salvation. They preached hell and its fire and Christ and Him crucified. Not one of them feared king, queen, or pope, and not one of them sought the compliments of men.