Holy Matrimony Part 2

I want to invite you to take out your Bibles and turn with me to the book of Hebrews and go to chapter 13 and we're going to be spending some time looking at verse 4 as our opening text and then we will be moving over to Ephesians 5.

If you would like to just maybe set a mark at Ephesians 5 we will be transitioning to that text as well today. But our primary opening text will be Hebrews chapter 13 and verse 4. We have been in a study on the holiness of God.

I'm sorry, excuse me, we have been on a study on the subject of holiness and in this study we have looked so far at the holiness of God. That was our first message, distinguishing God's characteristic of being holy, what it means when we say God is holy and even as we sang earlier that God is holy, holy, holy.

And then we looked at our holiness in Christ. That we have been set apart in Christ and that it is that holiness that we stand before God. We stand with a righteousness not of our own that comes from the law, but a righteousness which comes through faith in Jesus Christ.

The righteousness of God which comes through faith. This is what the Apostle Paul tells us. We call this the imputed righteousness of Christ. This is how we are justified, declared righteous before God and in that we are set apart.

We are called a holy people. The Bible defines the believer as saint, holy, separate, consecrated, undefiled. This is who we are in Christ. And I've mentioned before we need to consider identity before imperative.

What does that mean? That means who we are comes before what we are to do. We are to understand who we have been made in Christ, that leads to what changes come in our life. It's not that we get better to become saved, it's we are saved and through that we begin to increase in sanctification.

And so identity precedes imperative. And then thirdly we looked at practical daily holiness. That was how we walked through what God uses to bring about our increase in sanctification. We call these means of growth or as sometimes designated even means of grace.

These means by which God has given us to grow and we lay hold of those means if we want to grow. And I think sometimes people wonder why they are not growing and it can be rather obvious if we are not laying hold of those things that God has given us to grow in.

He says that we are to model the early church which devoted itself to the apostles doctrine, the fellowship, the breaking of bread and prayer. We talked about that in that sermon, those four things that the church models for us and we continue to look at today as ordinary means by which we grow.

And then in this series we have taken a sub-subject, a side subject, but it's still in my estimation part of this series on holiness and that is the subject of marriage. What has been called holy matrimony.

Now the term holy can have different connotations. It can refer to God's holiness. It can refer to our holiness in Christ. It can refer to practical daily holiness or as we have noted it can mean that which is set apart, that which is made sacred, that which is consecrated unto God.

And thereby we would say that marriage would fall into that category because it is distinguished in scripture as being the institution, the separate and as we will see today, institution which is to be undefiled, it is to be set apart and it is to be held as sacred.

It is to be held in honor among people and that is the institution of marriage. And so last week we looked at the plan for marriage and if you remember the text we looked at last week, it was Genesis chapter 2 verse 24 which says therefore a man shall leave his father and mother, he shall cleave or hold fast unto his wife and the two shall become one flesh.

That one verse becomes the foundation verse in scripture for what marriage is supposed to be. That gives the plan for marriage that Jesus would look back to when he is asked about marriage, that's the passage that Paul would look back to when he establishes his understanding and the scriptures basis for our understanding of marriage.

It always goes back to that verse. The plan is simple, a man will leave his father and mother in the sense that he will now establish a new household, a new family, a new unit by taking his wife and the two will become one flesh.

This is the new family that has been created and this is the, as I said last week, I believe the building block of all other civil society. We see in a world today, a world that which is ravaged by the destruction of the family and I don't think anyone would dispute that.

When we see how the family has been broken and fatherlessness and divided families are rampant in society and how that has affected society as a whole. And so when we talk about the basic fundamental building block being the family, being this simple principle that God established that man will leave his father and mother, hold fast his wife, become one flesh, it will create a new family, that building block is the building block of the rest of the world, the society around it and when it tarnishes, when it breaks, when it is broken, the world itself suffers.

And so that's the plan for marriage. The purpose of marriage, we learned last week, is to establish families, it is to also point to the gospel. The purpose of marriage is that we see in marriage a picture of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

The Bible says that the very image of the husband and wife is the image of the son coming to take the church as his bride. We are the bride of Christ, he is our husband and he comes and he takes us to himself.

And we are his and he is ours. And this image, every time I get the opportunity to preach a wedding, to perform a wedding ceremony, I always point back to say we are seeing a living image picture of the gospel.

The apostle Paul says that, he says that the mystery is profound, that in this union between husband and wife, there is a picture of the union between the believer and Jesus Christ. And then finally, we have the pattern of marriage.

The pattern of marriage, as I said last week, is a pattern of one man and one woman coming together in covenant union for life. So if you weren't here last week, that was last week's message in a short condensed version.

And now we're going to move to two more points regarding the subject of marriage. We're going to look first today at the protection of marriage. And then finally, we're going to look at the pattern. What does marriage, what is a godly marriage, a biblical household, look like?

So let's stand together and read Hebrews chapter 13, verse 4. It'll be on the screen for everyone to read or if you want to read from your own Bibles. This is from the English Standard Version and it reads, Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled.

For God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Lord, as I come to you today to preach, as I come before your people to preach, Lord, I come to you and I beg of you.

I ask of you, Lord, to keep me from error. I pray that every week, Lord, not because I'm fond of repetition, but because I'm fearful of error. And I pray, Lord, that as I seek to preach your word, that I would preach what your word says.

That the message that is conveyed and the applications that are made would be founded upon your holy word. I pray for the believers in this room. I pray that conviction would stand where it is needed, correction, reproof, and training in righteousness would come.

But Lord, for those who have not yet believed on the Lord Jesus Christ, and I am certain that there are those here, perhaps it is a child, perhaps it is an older person, perhaps it is someone who, up until this point, has been making a profession of faith without a possession of genuine faith and belief.

Lord, I pray that they would come under the conviction and teaching of the word this morning. That they would hear the gospel, that everyone who believes on the Lord Jesus Christ and trusts in his finished work will be saved.

And I pray that you would use this message in whatever way you see fit. Sanctify us by thy truth, thy word is truth. We pray it in Jesus' name, amen. As we find ourselves here toward the close of the book of Hebrews, it is not possible today that I would be able to give an adequate exposition of all of the things that have led up to this verse.

The book of Hebrews is an important New Testament book about the supremacy of the Lord Jesus Christ and the superiority of the new covenant. We do not know the author of this book. Many believe it to be the apostle Paul.

I am not convinced that Paul wrote it, though I believe that the theology within is Pauline, meaning I believe that the person who wrote it was either influenced by Paul, was writing on behalf of Paul, or was actually transcribing a sermon by Paul.

That is one thing that has been suggested. So I don't divorce this from the apostle Paul, but at the early part of the book, in chapter 2, the person who wrote it says that he got this information second hand.

That's something Paul would never say. And so that convinces me that Paul did not write the book of Hebrews. And if you want to debate that with me, just know that my vacation starts tomorrow. And so you can feel free to call Mike and Andy, and they'll be happy to talk to you about it.

But as I said, I trust that the theology is very Pauline. It holds true to everything else that aligns with the New Testament, and specifically aligns with what Paul has taught about the superiority of Christ, the newness of the new covenant, and who we are in Christ in this new covenant, and how we ought not go back.

The point of Hebrews is that you not go back to Judaism. It's being written to Hebrew Christians who are being tempted to abandon Christ and go back to the safety and comfort of their Judaism. And Paul is, or the writer here is, I see, the person who's writing on behalf of Paul or whomever, is saying, don't do that.

Don't abandon Christ. There's no more, if you abandon this sacrifice, there's no other sacrifice. There's nowhere to go. And like many of the epistles, we have at the beginning a very solid, strong theology, which ends with a list of applications and imperatives.

As it comes to the close of the book, many of Paul's letters we see actually end with a series of, a list of short, staccato, imperative statements. And this is the whole identity and imperative idea.

Who you are in Christ should lead to these actions. Who you are in Christ should lead to this behavior. This should cause you to live differently. If we love Christ and we follow him, that will not result in an unchanged life, but it will necessarily result in a changed life.

And so we have here, as we get to the end of the book in chapter 13, he begins, Let brotherly love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

Boy, I don't have time to unload that, but what a beautiful truth that is, that we have angelic interactions without even knowing it. And then of course, in verse three, it says, Remember those who are in prison as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated since you also are in the body.

He's just reminding us. And we should, we think about this every time, like when Mike was praying earlier, we think about our missionaries who go through difficulties and struggles. We think about the people in Nigeria, Christians in Nigeria who are suffering persecution and death for their faith.

And we think about them, we pray for them. This is the admonition of the writer here, is to, if you are in comfort, you pray for those in distress, that God might give them respite and peace as well. And consider yourself part of the body that they are in.

You're all in one body, which is Christ. And then you get to verse four, and Paul gives, I keep saying it. King James Bible does say the letter of Paul to the Hebrews. I think that's funny. It says, Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

This again comes in the midst of a series of imperatives, a series of statements that are meant to be followed by the people of God. And this particular verse is really in three parts. You have the command to honor marriage that is for everyone.

You have the command that marriage, that sexuality in marriage is to be undefiled or sacred. And that's the second part. And then there is a warning in this verse about those who would mistreat marriage specifically in regard to sexuality.

So we see it broken down. This is one of those times where the passage, I didn't have to create points. The passage creates the points. It establishes the points, and that's the way it ought to be. We should preach what it says, and that's what it says.

So the first thing it says is, Let marriage be held in honor among all. I did discuss this last week. I said, Even if you're not married today, even if you are a person who is, for whatever reason, not planning to be married, you still have an obligation to hold marriage itself in honor because it says, Let marriage be held in honor among all, not just among married folk.

It says, Let marriage be held in honor among all. Why? Because it is a sacred institution. God established it even before the fall. It was established in the garden. It was established for the purpose of creating families and perpetuating godly homes.

And this particular institution that God has established is now something that everyone, even people who are not in the institution, ought to uphold as honorable. They ought to honor this particular institution.

And so, it then goes on to say, And let the marriage bed be undefiled. I think now the attention goes from the all, specifically, to the married people more specifically. Because the marriage bed being undefiled is speaking to those who are the participants in the marriage bed.

One of the most destructive forces in marriages is sexual infidelity. In the Decalogue, which is the Ten Commandments God gave to Moses, we find in the Seventh Commandment, Thou shalt not commit adultery.

And that command is short and some might say simple, but the Lord Jesus Christ, in the Sermon on the Mount, expands that out to say it's not just an action of the body, but it is a condition of the heart.

He said, You have heard it said, Do not commit adultery. But I say unto you, Do not even look with lust in your heart. For when you look with lust, you've committed adultery in your heart. So Jesus takes it from just being a mere outward sin, but a sin of the heart.

And we know that the command, Do not commit adultery, also has a positive element. We can infer a positive element and the positive element of the command is guard the purity of your marriage. It's not just don't commit adultery, but it's guard the purity of your marriage.

We live in a world where the opportunity for sexual sin is more available than it has ever been in the history of mankind. It is literally only a click away. We now have an even greater responsibility in our marriages to guard the purity of our marriages in the face of a world that is always working to break the purity of our marriages.

And this function is something that we need to consider is not only for men. While I could stand here and I could talk about the dangers of pornography and they are great, and it is something about which I have had many conversations with many men who have struggled, but I would say at the same time it is not limited to men.

The issue of seeking intimate gratification outside of the bond of marriage is not limited to looking at images, but as Jesus says, it goes into the heart. Oftentimes, with a woman, it might be not looking at an image, but reading a novel or finding a fantasy that is engaged in in such a way where your heart is taken away from your husband and in that moment is given to someone else.

A desire. And so, this command to let the marriage bed be undefiled is a command to guard, to protect, to watch over the marriage bed. In a world of opportunities to break this, it is a call to be a watchman over your marriage.

And I want to give two ways that I think that this is to be considered. The first specifically involves the call to men, but I will say this call, I'm going to apply it to men and women, but the passage is specifically to men.

If you want to turn in your Bibles, you can. It's Proverbs chapter 5 and verse 18. Mike actually quoted this verse, I believe from memory, I don't think he was reading, but he quoted this verse in his prayer earlier.

And often he quotes this verse when he is praying. Because this verse, and Andy and I taught through Proverbs a couple years ago on Wednesday nights, and I don't remember if I taught this text or he taught this text, but we talked about this particular passage and the great applicational value of this passage.

Because listen to what it says and specifically men, married men, listen to what it says. In Proverbs chapter 5. It says, Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely dear, a graceful doe.

Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight, be intoxicated always in her love. Brothers, we are called to delight in our spouse. We are called to have intimate delight in our spouse and no one else.

We are called to have eyes for her and not have eyes that wander. We are called to have a heart for her that is satisfied in her. And this verse, I would say, is fairly explicit. It says that we are not to have our, it says above this verse, it says not to have our streams flowing in the streets.

Meaning to go everywhere to find that satisfaction but to have the satisfaction in our wives. Rejoice in the wife of our youth. And it says let her breasts, let her figure, let her body be the body that you pursue and desire.

Be intoxicated with her love. This is the call and I would say the same thing goes for women even though this passage is specifically referring to young men. I would say it also applies nevertheless as much to women that we find our satisfaction in our spouse not in someone else.

This is one of those times where it might feel a little uncomfortable because we're talking about things that are difficult in group settings especially settings with men and women and children in the room.

But men and women the world is always trying to bring before you something else to be satisfied in rather than her or rather than him. This is what the world wants. This is what the conspirator of the world you know we have three great enemies the flesh, the world and the devil and the devil is influencing the world the world is influencing the flesh and we battle these fleshly lusts and the scripture says that we ought to seek to find that satisfaction in our spouse and the person that God has given to us.

And this goes to another way to protect your marriage not only just taking those thoughts captive not only considering the fact that you ought to be finding your satisfaction in her but it also gives a call to not hold back intimacy from one another.

And this is in 1 Corinthians 7 if you want to go look you may it's in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 verse 3 and this is what it says it says the husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights and likewise the wife to her husband for the wife does not have authority over her body but the husband does likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body but the wife does do not deprive one another except perhaps by agreement for a limited time that you may devote yourselves to prayer but then come together again so that satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self control.

I just love the fact of how real that is. Paul in writing that verse is writing very candidly he says that husbands and wives ought to have intimacy and that intimacy ought to be an intimacy that is mutual that is mutually submissive in that my wife is mine and I am hers and she gives herself to me and I give myself to her and we do this regularly.

Beloved years and years of marriage counseling has taught me one thing when there is no intimacy in the marriage there is a problem. When there is no intimacy in the marriage there is a problem. It might be a problem that needs to be overcome through confession and repentance it might need to be a problem that's overcome through some type of physical seeking out of help if there's a physical issue but there's a problem if there's no intimacy.

I realize as we age there are certain things that change physically but I'm not just talking about sex I'm talking about intimacy and that's not always just sex. Do you hold one another? Do you embrace a touch on the forehead a kiss on the ear a rubbing of the neck is intimate and those types of things when they grow cold and when those types of things are absent there is a problem and the danger of course in this is we have this danger here that it opens up the door.

The apostle Paul says it opens up the door for self-control to be a problem. We are to provide to one another the opportunity to enjoy intimacy one to the next and this is what leads to the third point.

It says let marriage be undefiled. How is it undefiled? Well we have to keep ourselves from one another love one another put one another first don't neglect intimacy with one another. That's how you do that that's how the marriage bed becomes undefiled.

Is you intentionally focus on intimacy with one another. That's how that happens. That's the guard that's the paladin that's the watchman on the wall that's keeping that from happening. But then you also have to consider the danger of the external person the quote unquote work wife that he's looking forward to seeing more than he's looking forward to seeing you because she makes him smile more she makes him feel more like a man she gives him better gifts and better compliments.

Or the man that just wants to hear you talk ladies about your problems because your husband doesn't want to listen. Those are dangerous outside forces that can come in and bring a destruction to your marriage.

That is exactly what those people are. They're not wanting to be your friends. They are wanting to rob you of what God has given you. And that is a faithful marriage. And they are satisfied to come in and destroy that faithful marriage.

Part of why marriage must be held in honor among all is that no one should ever come between a husband and a wife especially in regard to intimacy. A married person should never have an intimate relationship with someone other than their spouse.

I have friends who are women but they are different than my man friends. It just is that way. They are different than my man friends. Mike and I could go out go off together spend the day together have fun together.

But I wouldn't do that with Kelly. Kelly is a good friend and I love her to death. But we're not going off together right. We don't do that. Billy Graham had a rule. You know what his rule was. He was never alone with a woman who was not his wife.

If he went to get on an elevator and it was a lady he would let her go first and he would wait and he would go after that because he wanted to guard the integrity of his name. But also because he wanted to guard the integrity of his marriage.

It is so easy to fall prey to the dangers of sexual infidelity as the old saying goes the wisest man the strongest man and the most noble man of scripture. Samson Solomon and David all fell prey to the dangers of a woman.

We must guard against this thing. That's what this passage says. Let marriage be held in honor among all so that none are trying to be the one who would bring this division. And let the two married folks let them focus on themselves and their marriage and their intimacy so that they are guarding.

And then let no one be the sexually immoral or the adulterous because God will judge that person. This is what this passage teaches us and it is a serious matter. We ought to take this seriously. How many ministries do you know that have been destroyed by this sin.

As I've said before the two things I have seen destroy more ministries are women and money. And this is why one of the when you read through the qualifications for ministry what is it husband of one wife.

He's faithful and he's not greedy. There are other things not a striker not pugnacious. Those things are there too but the two things that are so easily destroy ministries and marriages are lust and greed.

Now I spent more time with that than I intended because I want to do Ephesians 5 too and I won't be here next week so I guess we better hurry. I do want to look finally if we could that was the protection of your marriage and please protect your marriages.

That's the call of that text. Let's look now at the pattern of marriage which is in Ephesians 5. In Ephesians 5 I always look forward to the days we get to have fellowship meal together. But the wafting of the food I know causes you guys to be a little bit more ready for me to finish.

So the pattern of marriage is provided for us here in Ephesians 5 22 to 33. And as time will have it I'll give as much attention as I can to each of these verses but we're going to focus on some very specific ones.

But let's look beginning at verse 22 it says. Wives submit to your own husbands. Ask to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church his body and is himself its savior.

Now as the church submits to Christ so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Those three verses are the call to the wife. Now it moves to the husband. Verse 25 husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her that he might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy and without blemish.

In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself for no one ever hated his flesh but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church because we are members of his body.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. Again the apostle Paul quotes Genesis 2 .24 as his foundation verse for marriage. This mystery is profound and I am saying it refers to Christ and his church that tells us it points to Christ and his church however let each of you love his wife as himself and let's the wife see that she respects her husband.

So we have there this pattern of marriage. Regarding wives the call of the wife is probably the least popular verse in the Bible especially for those who hold to a egalitarian view which is that if you don't if you're not familiar with egalitarianism it is the idea that there is to be no distinction between men and women in the roles of the home or in the roles of the church.

But there is to be absolute equality and there's a Greek word for that and it is baloney. We have one verse that tells us there is equality between men and women. And it is Galatians which says that in Christ there is neither Jew nor Greek neither male nor female neither slave nor free.

But we're all one in Christ Jesus and people will use that they'll say this is what proves that there's no distinction to be made between men and women. And I say well first of all the apostle Paul wrote that he also wrote this and I don't think he was foolish enough to go around and so overtly contradict himself.

Secondly if you want to argue that what Galatians 3 when it says there's no slave nor free neither male nor female neither Jew nor Gentile. I know I did that backwards. But if you want to say that those verses are saying that there's never to be a distinction made in authority or position.

And what about our children. If my child becomes a believer and is now positionally equal to me in Christ does that mean that I lose my authority over my child. Can my child say that I'm now a Christian.

Therefore dad you no longer have that position over me. That would be a very dangerous thing for them to do because that would lead to some very uncomfortable conversations in our home. It would not be right for them to say such a thing.

The established pattern of the home given to us in scripture does not change because we are believers. I can say this you and your wife men you and your wife are absolutely equal at the foot of the cross in that you are both sinners desperately in need of a savior and Jesus Christ is the only savior and he has saved you both the same way by his atoning blood whereby he has declared you righteous because he has paid the penalty for your sins and given you his righteousness as a gift.

That's for everybody. And everybody is justified the same way. There's not a different way to justify men and women. There's not a different salvation for men and women. We are all justified the same way.

Having said that that does not erase positional authority in the home. That does not change what God establishes here. Paul did not have a problem with women. If you ever hear somebody say that know that they are bringing an ungodly presumption to the text.

They are saying that Paul had a problem with women. I've heard people say that Paul was sexist. Paul was not sexist. If we believe that Paul was writing here under the authority of and inspiration of the Holy Spirit then we would have to then apply that same logic to the Holy Spirit and say the Holy Spirit is sexist.

And that would be genuinely ungodly to even think such a thing. God establishes a pattern in the garden. He created man first he took man. He took woman from man. He gave her to man. And his role was the head of that institution of marriage that was created there.

His role was the head of that household the head of that family. That was there Adam. Even we could go as far as to say Adam was the federal head of the human race. But in that specific instance he was the head of his wife.

So wives are told to submit to their husbands. Notice. It is unqualified. Meaning it does not say wives submit to your husbands if he's a good leader. It doesn't say wives submit to your husbands if he's a nice person.

It doesn't even say wives submit to your husband if he is a believer. It doesn't say that if you remove the husband from the situation and simply let the text speak to the wife as it is speaking to the wife it is not saying you only have to do this in this situation even if he is a certain kind of man.

No it says wives submit to your husbands. Oh let me correct myself wives submit to your own husbands. Your wife does not have a responsibility to submit to anyone else. But you if you are her husband she is not responsible to submit to her father.

She is not responsible to submit to another man who has authority in her life that is outside of his jurisdictional authority. So for instance in the church the elders have a certain amount of authority and we all come under that authority when we are here of the teaching and things like that.

And when you are out in the world there is police officers in government there is that kind of authority. But my point is when he designates your own husband he is saying that your wife has a responsibility to submit to you your her authority.

You are the head of the house not some other man. And there are times where other men will want to exercise authority over your wife whether it is through overtly seeking to have that authority or to have some type of voice in her life that outweighs yours.

And that can be a very dangerous man because that can lead to division in the home. I am being honest some people may not like this. I am careful of who my wife listens to when it comes to sermons and stuff like that and podcasts because quite honestly there are some guys out there I don't trust and I know some of them personally.

I have got photographs of some of them and I tell my wife don't listen to him. Just don't. It is not good for your soul. You say who are you. I am her husband that is who I am. Her responsibility is to listen to me not to him.

And I will stand before God and give an account for how I lead my home. He is not going to stand before God and give an account for how my home is led. But I will wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.

Now let me clarify. That doesn't mean that your husband is Jesus. But what it is saying is that wives you submit to your husband because of the position that Christ has placed him in. Therefore you submit to him as you submit to Christ in Colossians.

In the sister passage of this which is Colossians 3 it actually says that we are to do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. And then right after that it says husbands love your wives. And wives respect your husbands.

So why are we to do those things. It's because of our commitment to Christ. It's because of the commitment to Christ. This is why I can say to any woman I understand it may be difficult sometimes to live with your husband and to submit to your husband.

But ultimately there is submission to Christ that is at stake. This is what we are doing now. Everybody wants me to qualify this everybody everybody wants me to say. But what if pastor. And so because I know it's on the tip of all of your tongues and perhaps in your mind am I saying that a woman is to submit to brutal abuse or constant infidelity or being forced to not worship God.

We read this morning where Daniel worshipped God even when the government said it was against the law. And he did so because it was God who was the ultimate authority. There are ultimate authorities that surpass human authorities.

We understand the government tells you to do something that God has told you not to do. You are not bound to obey the government. The apostle said we must obey God rather than men. And there may be a time where a wife is in a situation where she must obey God rather than men.

So yes that does exist. But I think often times that's not really the issue. Often times it's an issue of the heart. It's an issue of being dissatisfied with a position of submission rather than a position of authority.

Ladies understand this the term here when it says wives submit to your husband. This term hupotasso is the Greek word and it literally means a willful submission. It means a willing submission. This is not the same term that is sometimes used in the military sense but this is a willful act of coming under the authority of a husband.