I want to live like that and the secret of his life was he never did his own will and it was not a life of tension, it was a relaxed, restful life, the devil says there'll be tension all the time, finding out what is the father's, what is the wife's, it's not like that, the Holy Spirit comes within and it's a life of deep inward rest where there's complete freedom from tension, tension is for those people who are trying to do their own will and plan their own life on earth, they live with constant tension and fear and uncertainty about the future and anxiety, I don't believe there was anxiety in Jesus' mind concerning the future at any time, at no time was he anxious about the future and I said Lord I want that life where I'm never anxious about the future, not about my health or whether I'm going to die or sick or nothing or whether I have enough money to take care of my needs and when your children are small Lord will I be able to take care of these children, what all fears and tensions and worries even believers have, they're not supposed to live like that, not at all, I don't believe you're supposed to live like that, I believe you're supposed to live a life completely free from anxiety and I'm not talking about some imaginary life, this is exactly how God wants every Christian to live and you can live that life if you decide I don't want to do my will anymore on this life, I want to do the will of God in every area, whatever he wants me to do, that is how Jesus lived in fellowship with the Father and that's the way we can live in fellowship with Christ and the Father every single day of our life and I said that that vertical fellowship is what leads to the horizontal fellowship, so when Jesus said take up the cross and follow me I see that in his relationship with me there was a cross on which he died and so in my fellowship with another brother or my wife there's a cross on which I have to die, if I don't die I can't have fellowship and it's like this, I use this example sometimes where there's you know if two strong people are always clashing clashing clashing clashing a lot of noises coming in, one of them stops dies, the clash is over, there's no sound anymore, I heard a story once, well maybe it's a parable of a man who had a next door neighbor who he and that man and his wife, every morning at 6 30 they'd start fighting, you could hear it in the next house, it's almost like an alarm clock, 6 30 they'd be fighting and every day, one day, there was silence, he says what happened, that they made peace with each other and he went and discovered that one of them died, that brought peace, it's a parable, so when a husband and wife have a clash, if one of them is willing to die to self, you can have peace every day, so instead of clashing, one person is not going to die, no clash and if both are willing to die, it leads to punish, so this is the ideal married life, where both husband and wife have been gripped by the calling to follow in Jesus' footsteps, to die to self, to take up the cross every day, I tell you your home will be like heaven on earth and that is the best atmosphere in which to bring up your children, you know the greatest inheritance that you can give your children is not the thousands of dollars you save for them, not the wonderful education you can give them, but an atmosphere at home which is like heaven on earth, that when they grow up and get married, they say I want a home like that, thereby the light shines on to the next generation, this is the way God wants every single family to live and the same principle applies in a church, see however much we may say we love one another, it is really impossible to love one another in the church, if I'm not willing to take up the cross, Jesus said in John chapter 13, let me show that to you in scripture, John 13 he said, he first said, this is a very important verse John 13, 34 and 35, he said in verse 35, all men will know you're my disciples if you love one another, that's what we've been thinking of, a family which is like a family, a beautiful family of God where everybody loves one another, not with this human type of love, where we say nice words and help one another practically, no, the type of love he was speaking about is described in verse 34, a new commandment I give you that you love one another the way I loved you, that is by dying on a cross, that's how I love you, because from that moment he was going to the cross the next morning, the way I love you, that's the way you must love one another and he says, when you love one another like that, when between you and the other person, there's a cross on which you die, then people will know you're my disciples, so that's our calling and I believe that that's the most important thing that we need to recognize in our relationship, in relationship to everybody that I have a relationship with, Lord, there's got to be a cross between me and that person on which I die, I don't demand that he dies, he has to choose himself, the cross is never something the Lord forces upon us, you know, the Roman soldiers forced Simon to carry the cross, but the Lord never forced anybody to take up the cross, there's always an if, if any man wants to come after me, so what if in your relationship with your wife, she doesn't want to take up the cross, doesn't make the slightest difference, you decide to take up the cross, what if your husband doesn't want to take up the cross, doesn't make any difference, you decide I'm going to take up the cross because I'm not going to force the cross on anybody, I'll be like the Roman soldiers then, when you're trying to force somebody, see for example, if a husband quotes this verse to his wife, hey, the Bible says, you wife be subject to your own husband, what's he doing, he's forcing his wife to do something, God never does that, I always say when you come across a verse that says wives be subject to your own husbands, that letter was not written for you, don't open, don't open other people's letters, that's for your wife to read and obey it herself, you're reading somebody else's letter, when you say wives obey your husbands, when you come to that verse, just skip it and go to the next verse, it says husbands love your wives, do you ever read anybody else's letters, I hope not, but a lot of letters in the scripture, which are not written for you, it was written for your wife, leave it to her, she can read it, she's not illiterate and likewise, when it says husbands love your wives, leave that to the husband to read, we're not here to force other people, because I tell you this, because there are so many husbands who tell their wives, you've got to be subject to me, the Bible says that, where did you read that, you read that in somebody else's letter, that's not meant for you, or the wife, if she's smart, she'd say, but you've got to love me as Christ loved the church, see this is the type of argument that goes on, all this will disappear when you die, it's a wonderful thing to learn the way of the cross, so many situations, I find the answer is this, somebody tries to say something that hurts you, you cannot be hurt if you have died to yourself, that's what I say to myself, did that guy say something to hurt me, that means I'm not dead yet, dead men don't get hurt, did you know that, so I say Lord, this is just a demonstration to me, I haven't died yet, I want to die, and God gives us so many opportunities for this, and for me it has been a tremendous revelation, and I'll tell you how I got this revelation, way back when I was a young Christian and I wanted to serve the Lord, I said Lord, I want to be, I want to baptize in the Holy Spirit, I see that Jesus was anointed with the Holy Spirit when the river Jordan, and he went out with such power to serve God, and I said Lord, I want that, because he called me this earlier, I must be anointed, and I went to this meeting, and that meeting, I went to this Pentecostal church, and that Pentecostal church, and I was very disappointed, very disappointed, all I heard was a lot of noise, and shouting, and screaming, and babbling around, and I said Lord, that's not what I want, I want power, and so the Lord allowed me to be frustrated with all that I saw in almost every Christian group, and I came back to the scriptures, and I saw that Jesus was anointed with the Holy Spirit, when he allowed John the Baptist to put him under the water, and baptize him, immerse him, and then raise him up, that's when the Spirit came upon him, and I got a revelation in that moment, as to what that baptism was, see John the Baptist was preaching the baptism of repentance, people were standing in line, saying I have repented of my sins, if the Pharisees came along, he said go, you go away, you haven't repented, it's only people who repented, who came in that line, and Jesus, who had never sinned, stood in that line, what was he coming for?