Family Life — Bob Hoekstra

Well, let's pray together, shall we, as we begin our study today. Lord, another opportunity to get into your word, another opportunity to seek you, your truth. We want to meekly receive the implanted word, Lord, which is able to save our souls, rescue our lives.

We pray that you would work by your Holy Spirit as we approach this great subject again of marriage and family life the way you've designed it, family God's way. We pray you would pour out your spirit, Lord, and give us not only insight but reshape, renew our minds, touch our hearts, build our lives for your glory, by your grace, in Jesus' name, amen.

Family Life According to God's Design

Family God's way. This is the second of six studies together that we're going to look at. We're going to look at family life in this study. In our last study, we saw in the Word, Genesis 2, the Lord establishing the original marriage, the prototype family, starting with Adam and Eve.

And as he brought to Adam a help-meet, a helper appropriately corresponding to his life, a partner in life and ministry for the great task, remember, of being God's stewards here on earth, Genesis 1, 26 and following.

The Lord commissioning this new creation of humanity in how to serve him and multiply and fill the earth and then be accountable to the Lord in all things and really live in fellowship with the Lord. Now in this study, which is one of the next great biblical passages on marriage and family life after Genesis chapter 2, we're going to look at family life, extending from that first marriage on out with the mention in Scripture and elaboration of the next generations and a passage that really talks about grandparents and parents and children as well as husband and wife.

Family life, we'll look at three issues concerning family life. First, the reason it must be developed God's way. The reason family life must be developed God's way for God's people. Then, second, the foundational issues that develop family life God's way.

And then third, the process that passes all of this on to the children, to the next generations. Okay, family life, Deuteronomy chapter 6, verses 1 through 3, beginning to give us the reason that family life must be developed God's way.

Deuteronomy chapter 6, verse 1. Now this is the commandment, and these are the statutes and judgments which the Lord your God has commanded to teach you, that you may observe them in the land which you are crossing over to possess.

Deuteronomy, the very word means the second giving of the law, the first giving of the law as God's people were delivered from bondage in Egypt. When they're at Mount Sinai, the law of the Lord, the holy, godly ways of God among His people, they were pronounced.

Now, as they're about to go into the promised land, finally, as they're about to go in, the Lord has Moses preach extended sermons on the law a second time, elaborating this is the way of God, this is how you're to live there in the land.

Verse 2, that you may fear the Lord your God to keep all His statutes and His commandments which I command you and your son and your grandson all the days of your life and that your days may be prolonged.

A little notice before we read verse 3, notice to whom the Lord is speaking through Moses. Notice, these words are to you and your son and your grandson, okay? This message is given to the older generations with the implication we're going to see that it's for their lives but that they also must be anticipating the responsibility and the ministry of getting this on to the next generations.

The commandments of the Lord which I command you, who is this you? You and your son and your grandson. So he's really speaking to extensive generations there. This word is for you, grandparents. This is for you, parents, and you are to get this by implication.

You're to get this message to your children and this is going to bless you all the days of your life and give you fullness of life and service and ministry. Verse 3, therefore hear O Israel and be careful to observe it that it may be well with you and that you may multiply greatly as the Lord God of your fathers has promised you.

A land flowing with milk and honey. They're about to go into the promised land and it's a land flowing with milk and honey. What is this a picture of in the purest sense, in the biggest sense in the New Testament?

This is fullness of life. This is abundance of life. Jesus said, I came that you might have life and you might have it abundantly. This is the picture of the promised land. Living by the promises of God.

Serving the God of promise. Going into a land where he is going to rule and where he is going to bountifully provide and use them. So these words are directed to the adult, to the parents and grandparents.

And soon these very words that we're going to be reading are going to be given a family life application. That is grandparents, parents and then the children added. And we'll have a word about that along the way.

So Israel is about to enter the promised land. They will win victories in the name of the Lord. They will be established there as God's people. They will serve him. They will be fruitful unto him. And as it's put in Isaiah 51 .4.

They're going to be a light to the nations around them. As the people of the Messiah and as the Messiah would be eventually. Isaiah 51 .4. Listen to me my people. And give ear to me oh my nation. For law will proceed from me.

The word of God would come forth from the God of the word. And I will make my justice rest as a light of the peoples. As a light of the nations. As a light of the Gentiles. God's people in the land would receive his word.

His law. They would let him work out his ways. His just and holy and upright ways among them. The light of the Lord would be shining forth among them. And as a witness to those nations that would be around them.

The nations that did not yet know him. The Lord God Almighty. A light to the peoples. To the nations. To the Gentiles. And of course ultimately the fulfillment of this Isaiah 51 prophecy. Is about the Messiah himself and the ultimate fulfillment of that.

First the church and then the kingdom age. But the point for us. The point in this passage. Israel had a task and a purpose to fulfill before the Lord. Therefore it was imperative that they develop their lives.

And that would include their family life. They develop their lives and their lives at home. All after the ways of God. God promised them a land. In the land they had a purpose and a calling to fulfill.

They were to be his instruments of light and righteousness. And the nations were to look on and see the ways of the living God. The character and heart of the living God among his people. That was their task.

That was their calling. So it was inherent that they have their lives developing God's way. If the light of God is going to be shown forth through a life. That life must be walking in the ways of the Lord.

Israel's Calling to Be Light to the Nations

Now. Applied to us in the New Testament church age. We also have a similar God given task to fulfill. This matter of being light to the nations. Matthew chapter 5. Remember these great verses. About light.

Matthew chapter 5. Verse 13 and following. You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men.

You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket. But on a lamp stand. And it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men.

That they may see your good works. And glorify your Father in heaven. We also have a God given task. And it's related to light. Just like Israel was. No wonder. God is the God of light. Israel was his people of old.

Now he's primarily working through the church. Though in the tribulation period. He'll be working again with Israel. And then the wonderful kingdom age to follow. But it's about light. And we are the light of the world.

We're not the light's source. But we are the shining lamp. The Lord is the light. And as David said, the Lord lights my lamp. And that's how it's to work in our lives as well. But we have a similar calling to Israel.

Salt and light. To be spiritual salt. To hold back decay. Salt to give people a thirst for living water. We're light. To drive away the darkness. We are light in the Lord. To lighten the way to the Lord.

By the proclamation of the gospel. We are to be light by the lives we live. Enlightened by the light of the Lord. Ultimately, this is all about discipleship. You know. The end of Matthew. Matthew 28. Verses 18 and following.

Jesus came and spoke to them saying. All authority has been given to me in heaven and in earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations. They are to follow the Lord Jesus as their light. They are to become light in the Lord.

And then call others through the light of the gospel. That's our calling. In other words, what we're reading in Deuteronomy. Concerning the Lord and his people in days of old. There's great insight there.

For what needs to be taking place in our lives. And what can take place in our lives. We have this similar God-given task. To be instruments of the light of the Lord. In the world all around us. We're to make disciples of the one who said.

I am the light. And we too therefore must develop our lives. Including our family life. After the ways of the Lord. If the people of the Lord are going to serve the Lord fruitfully. In the calling of the Lord.

The very presence and activity and ways of the Lord. Have to be on display in their lives. And what is a more critical place for that. Than our family life. There's nothing more fundamental in life on earth really.

Than that family life that God starts everyone out in the family. And most people thereafter will someday develop families themselves. By the work of the Lord. So family life. This is the reason it must be developed God's way.

We like Israel. Have a calling. Have a task. And family life. Is not. Just a place of blessing for the family members. Though it is designed by God to be that. But it's kind of the primary lighthouse.

And if we're not walking in the ways of the Lord. And the light of the Lord shining in our homes. It's not going to be shining. Anyplace else we go either. So. The reason. Family life must be developed God's way.

We have a calling. We have a responsibility. The Lord wants to work that out in our homes. Now second. The foundational issues here in Deuteronomy 6. That develop family life God's way. The earlier verses give the implication of why.

Our family life must be developed God's way. Now this passage goes on. To explain the foundational issues that actually have an impact in homes and lives. That actually do change families. And make them a family of God.

Not just a family of humanity. Deuteronomy. Chapter 6 verses 4 and 5. Hear O Israel. The Lord our God. The Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God. With all your heart. With all your soul. And with all your strength.

Knowing the One True God

For many a Christian. These are very. Familiar words. These are some of the great pronouncements. Among all the great pronouncements. Of the word of God. But the interesting thing here. Is that. These words of vision and instruction.

That we're reading and will continue. To read on down in the passage. These are in this passage given a family life application. These are wonderful words. Jesus quoted these words. These are great words.

And they're right on the subject. That we're looking at. Family God's way. And today family life. Foundational issues. Verse 4. Speaks of the first of two foundational issues. And that is. Knowing who God is.

Here's a great proclamation about the Lord. One of the most fundamental proclamations. About the Lord. Hear O Israel. The Lord our God. The Lord is one. Two times here. This wonderful word. Translated in most English versions.

With four uppercase letters. Even though the L is extended a little higher. You can tell they're all uppercase or capital letters. As we call them more often in the vernacular. What a word that is. That reveals the very character of God.

This of course. Is not the word. Lord. That means master or ruler. Usually when that's applied in scripture to a deity. You have capital L. Then lowercase O-R-D. And that's a great title of God. God is the Lord.

Jesus is Lord. He's master. He's ruler. That's not this word. This word. Is not a title of God. This word is the very name of God. The Lord our God. If it were translated in English. We wouldn't have uppercase Lord.

We would have something like Yahweh or Jehovah. That would be the translation. Really it's almost like a transliteration. Y-H-W-H would be the English transliteration of these Hebrew letters. This is the name of God.

The name of God. And then the declaration. That the Lord our Lord. Yahweh. Jehovah our God. Is one. He's unique. There's no one like him. He's the only one of his kind. He's one. And he's also a unity.

And the picture here is a term for compound unity as well. The Lord is our God. Elohim. Compound unity. Which certainly fits the full revelation of the scriptures on the tri-unity of God. Now. The name of God.

His memorial name. The name by which he wants to be remembered. Moses said to God after he had his commission. To go tell Pharaoh and also the children of Israel that it's time God is going to deliver.

And when he went to Pharaoh to say let my people go in the name of the Lord. He knew he was going to get a who said so. Who sent you. On whose authority. For whom do you speak you slave. You know. This is the name.

I am. God said tell them I am sent you. They want to know who's behind this. Just tell them I am sent you. That's the name of God. I am. Speaks of the only self-existent self-sufficient one anywhere.

God himself. I am. Not I was or I became. But I am. That's the name of God. It's a name that perfectly fits deity. I am. And Jesus applied that to himself. He said before Abraham was I am. People can never have their family life begin to develop the way the Lord wants family life to develop.

Unless they know I am as their God. Because I am Yahweh Jehovah. He is the creator of family. He is the sustainer of family life. He's the true and living God. And what a glorious name it is. And this name needs to be known in our families.

Members of a family need to know the great I am. And you can't begin to get to know him better than getting acquainted with the significance of his name. The eternal, self-existent, self-sufficient, no one started him, no one helps him, no one sustains him.

I am is his explanation. And see that fits no one but God. No one but God can carry that name. Everyone else was started by God directly or instrumentally through procreation. This is a name unique to the Lord God Almighty.

And of course Jesus applied that name to himself. But it's a name too that just cries out for more insight and more explanation. I am. You are what Lord? Who? And of course the scriptures abundantly fill in the answer to that question.

In fact a lot of the compound names in the Old Testament of Yahweh or Jehovah are further explanation. I'm your provider. I am your healer. I am almighty God and so on. And then Jesus came to this earth with the ultimate living and declared explanation of that name.

The I am's of Jesus. I am the way, the truth and the life. I am the good shepherd. I am the true vine. I am the door. I am everlasting life. I am everything you'll ever need for time and eternity. That's who I am, signed Yahweh, Jehovah.

That's what families need. And remember these words are spoken to grandparents, parents and then their children are mentioned. This is a word from the Lord about acquaintanceship with God that every person in every generation must come to know of or they don't know life and they don't have any hope of family life God's way.

And Jesus, of course, says no one comes to the Father but by me. And this Lord, he is one. He's unique. He's the only one of a kind. There are not many real gods. There's only one true and living God.

All other claims are from false gods or idols. And therefore, all of everything that exists is by his creation, is accountable to him or an instrument of his and needs to learn such truths and to respond to such truths.

The first of these two foundational issues that actually develop family life God's way is all about knowing who God is. You've got to know the God of creation, the God of redemption, the God of the family, the God who created marriage, the God who sustains and transforms lives unto what he wants in family life.

Here's a word for family and it's this. Yahweh, the great I am, wants to be, needs to be your God and there's no one like him. That's fundamental to marriage and family life. And where does it so often start in marriage and family life?

People start off on the horizontal human relationship issues. Yeah, there are a tremendous array of matters to be dealt with horizontally, person to person in family life, marriage. And the scriptures give an abundant fullness of that.

But that's not where it all hinges. That's not where it all hangs. That's not where it all sources from. The first word, the most critical word, the irreplaceable word for marriage and family life is knowing who God is.

Listen up, God says to his people. I have a word about fullness of life and it's for each generation and it must get on to your sons, to your children, to your daughters. And here's where it starts. The Lord our God, the Lord is one.

Loving God with All the Heart, Soul, and Strength

Now, here's the second foundational issue that develops family life God's way. Not only knowing who God is, but responding to him appropriately. How should a person respond to one such as is the great I am?

Well, that's the next verse. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. This is the appropriate response. Anything other than this, anything that desires or settles for less than this, it's not an appropriate response.

The more we're in the word and see through the word and the revealing work of the word, who the Lord is and how glorious and majestic he is, the more clear it is to us that here's the only response to God that makes sense.

Anything else is a gigantic spiritual disconnect. And that is loving the Lord our God with all of our heart, all of our soul, and all of our strength. Loving the Lord. What's love about? What does love involve?

Well, it involves all kinds of things described in the scripture, but think of some. Just, if you love someone, you're very interested in them. Love just draws you toward learning more and more about them.

Being concerned about them. You know, the fear of the Lord. Not wanting to displease the Lord. Not wanting to grieve the Spirit of God. Love, it's about being devoted to another. Having respect for them.

Being delighted with them. And then when you bring that down to the Lord himself alone, being faithful to him, trusting him, obeying him, honoring him, serving him, living for him, this is how we are to relate to God.

And look how we're to do it. With all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength. This is not a half-hearted issue. A double-minded issue. We're to love the Lord with all of our heart. With everything that makes up our inner being.

The very fountainhood of the person we are and are becoming. We're to love the Lord with all of our soul. Our mind, emotions, will, personality, character. Every expression of who we are reflecting that we know who the Lord is and we're loving him for who he is.

And we're to do it with all of our strength. With all of the energy that the Lord gives, we're to pour it out in a love relationship with him. Could anything be more straightforward and simple in concept?

This is not complicated. Just like the gospel isn't complicated. A child can understand it and enter into the reality of it. But the greatest developed mind on earth will for a lifetime be stretched by the implications and the aspects of it.

Again, what are the foundational issues that develop family life God's way? Well, verse 4, knowing who God is. He's Yahweh. He's Jehovah. He's the great and everlasting I Am. And then second, verse 5, responding to him properly.

And what is the proper response? Love him totally. Love him completely. Love him comprehensively. And you can find many places in the Word of God that treat these two fundamental foundational truths. In fact, just throughout the Word of God, these two issues are dealt with.

Who is God? And how should one relate to him appropriately? I mean, that's what the Word of God is all about. And brethren, that's what family life is about. That's how God explains it here in this tremendous passage to families about their lives.

Look how such truth is dealt with at the other end of revealed Scripture. 1 John 4. 1 John 4, verse 16. And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love. And he who abides in love abides in God and God in him.

Oh, here's a great statement of who God is. God is love. The great I Am is a loving God with compassion and mercy and grace and great kindness in his heart toward people. Oh, and how unique this is again in the realm of so-called religion.

From mythic religions to sort of more historic religions, though not the true faith of the Lord, it's amazing how the God or gods are angry gods or impersonal gods. The true and living God, he is love.

He is love. And this is very key in us responding to him properly. He is love. God is love. Chapter 4, verse 9. In this the love of God was manifested toward us that God has sent his only begotten Son into the world that we might live through him.

The God of love is not a restrictive God. Oh, he restrains from evil and that which is harmful and hurtful, but he wants people to live, to live, that we might live, you know, really know life and what it's about and live it to the full.

God is a bountiful God, a fullness God, and he wants us to live, but that can only be done through him. You've got to have that relationship with the Lord. And that demonstrated the love of God, God sending his only begotten Son into the world, his dearly beloved Son, his uniquely begotten Son, born of a virgin.

He sent his precious Son into this world to die upon a cross for our sins that we might live through him, find fullness of life in and through him. And then chapter 4, verse 19 of 1 John, we love him because he first loved us.

Oh, what a correlation this is with Deuteronomy 6. Deuteronomy 6, who God is, the great I am, the eternal one, there's no one like him. And along the way in the scripture, it's revealed that he is love, he is a loving God.

And how are you to respond to the great I am, who is love? You're to love him back. Reciprocate in love. In fact, we love him because he first loved us. It is the love of God toward us that has won our hearts in love toward him.

What a gracious arrangement this is. God is revealed as who he is, and he's not harsh and angry and wanting to destroy and alienate. He came to seek and to save that which was lost. He didn't come to condemn and judge.

Man was already condemned in sin. He came in love to rescue and help us to really learn what life is all about and be enabled by him to live and to help us enter into that relationship of loving him. He just time and again and again and again and his word reveals his great love for us.

And then for those who bow down to that God of love and receive that loving forgiveness in Christ and they find their hearts loving this one who loved them so much. I mean, what a phenomenal arrangement.

And these are the foundational issues that develop family life God's way. If we are married or a part of a family, are these realities at work in our lives and in our homes? If not, we're missing what God has and we can't establish it apart from these realities.

But the phenomenal thing is this all hinges on God, not on human performance. First God revealing who he is. The great I am, a God of love who would even sacrifice his dear son for sinners. Oh, what a great God.

The heart is stirred to want to respond to that God, to fall down at his feet, to accept his son as Lord and Savior. And that's the first little baby step in this love relationship. Lord Jesus, forgive me a sinner.

Thank you for that great redeeming love. And then as we dwell on that in the word and see it worked out in our lives, we just love him the more. And he is infinite in his person and his work and his character.

His love has no boundaries. No, none at all. So our love for a lifetime can just be growing in him. And see, these are the issues. These are the issues for marriage and family God's way. Knowing who God is, responding to him properly, learning through the word that he's the eternal God of love, willing to redeem us from sin through his son Jesus Christ.

And we say yes to that. We respond to that truth. We bow down to that truth. And we start growing in a love relationship with him. Obviously, this is what transforms lives. This is the gospel really in another form of stating it all.

This is what transforms lives and gets people walking with God and God's way. No wonder God would want to anchor all of this in these truths for family life. And, of course, that's what we're seeing here in Deuteronomy 6.

God as the Central Key to Family Life

Many times folks have asked me in a weekend seminar or a series through weeks on family God's way, you know, as I've mentioned before, what is the key to marriage and family God's way? What is the essential reality?

You know, what should we be watching out for, attending to, taking care of in our marriages and our families if we're going to see them develop God's way? And, again, so often, you know, is it communication?

Is it finances? And on and on the list goes. Well, all those things need the light of God and the work of God. But the scriptures go far more profound than that. Here's the irreplaceable. This is the number one issue.

This is the issue without which no other approach will have any effect at all. Well, what could be that key? Here's the key to family God's way. God. Oh, what a revolution that brings in a life, in a mind, in a husband-wife relationship, in a parent-child relationship, in a household of a family.

What a revolutionary thing that is. It's not about putting it together and presenting it to God. It's about wherever it is, taking it to God with our hearts and lives and asking Him to work in us. And then He is the cause to produce the effect of love and trust and faith and then godliness in our lives.

You have a husband and wife focused on the Lord. Oh, my, their household is going to develop God's way. You have mom, dad, grandparents, grandchildren, children focusing on the Lord, learning who He is, falling in love with Him, trusting in Him, putting their faith in Him.

Their lives will be changed. That family will be changed. The foundational issues that develop family life God's way. Knowing who God is and then responding to Him appropriately. Now, the process that passes all of this on to the children back in Deuteronomy chapter 6.

All of this is to go from generation to generation. Deuteronomy chapter 6, verse 6. Notice this. It all starts out with a heart commitment. That's how you pass these truths on to the next generation. It starts out with a personal heart commitment.

Verse 6. And these words, which I command you today. These words about knowing who God is and how to respond to Him properly. These words shall be in your heart. These words, who God is, how to respond to Him, shall be in your hearts.

To whom are these words directed? Well, the context was given in verse 2. His commandments, which I command you, you and your son and your grandson all the days of your life. These words are given to the parents and the grandparents.

And linked in there, your son and your grandson. You've got to get these to the coming generations. These words, who the Lord is, what the proper response to Him is, shall be in your hearts. Dad, mom, husband, wife, grandfather, grandmother.

These words shall be in your hearts. If we're parents, this is a timely word to us. For grandparents, a timely word. If we're neither, this is still a timely word. It's strategic. Not only for the future, the Lord tarries in His return.

Most people will end up in marriage and family that they are developing in and with and through the presence of the Lord. But also it's strategic to see what must develop in our lives to have impact on other lives and the next generation.

And also this is a strategic word because whatever our marital or family status, so many of the people we're ministering to, they are in families right now or marriages or they are headed toward that in the future.

The Lord wants these words in people's hearts. He wants them in our hearts. He wants these words of who He is and how to respond to Him. He's a God of love and He wants us to learn to love Him in response to His love for us.

These words are to be taken in and committed to, embraced at the deepest core of our innermost being. These words shall be in your heart. In Ephesians 3 .17, the Lord puts it this way, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.

Same sort of thing spoken of here in Deuteronomy 6 .6, just a more profound measure of light, such as the New Testament epistles give, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. The Lord desires to dwell in people's hearts.

To dwell. Not just visit there, not just be a guest there, but to live there. You might say in a paraphrase, in the vernacular again, the Lord wants to settle down and make Himself at home in the very center of our being.

He wants to be our Lord. He wants to be our life. Another way you could say it, this is true New Testament discipleship commitment, eventually this kind of truth in Deuteronomy 6 .6, when you take it all the way through the scriptures into the New Testament.

This is a direction of people wanting Jesus and His truth as the very centerpiece of their heart and their home. All of this reality is to settle in our hearts. In a moment, verse 7, you shall teach them diligently to your children.

Children are brought right into the picture, but the bridge from the truths declared to passing it on to the children, it first starts with a heart commitment. God wants kids and grandkids to have God-loving parents and grandparents.

Oh, His hands are not tied when it isn't that way. He has other ways to reach those little lives sometimes, and you find a child growing up in an unbelieving home, generally speaking, that does happen.

But this is God's pattern. This is what God wants to do. These words shall be in your heart. Oh, when the knowledge of the Lord and the loving of the Lord is present in the heart of mom, dad, grandpa, grandma, what a blessed privilege, what a glorious opportunity those children and grandchildren have.

Some say sometimes, well, you're talking about this and it's history and it's behind me. Oh, no, it isn't. Great opportunity may have been missed. Years or decades may have been wasted, but the Lord is the I Am.

He's right there present on the task. He's available today to see a revolution take place in marriages, to see a revolution take place in families, and even ministering to broken families, see a revolution take place between God and sinners.