You Hurt Me, Now What - Part 2 — Shane Idleman

Pride, Humility, and the Pain of Spiritual Growth

I've received that many correspondences of people just being helped by God's Word, and sometimes it hurts to get help. When they remove that cancer tumor, it doesn't feel real good. Or that root canal.

Or that pride. If you ask for humility and your pride is gonna be crushed, it's gonna hurt. Can I get a witness? 9 a .m.? Okay. There's either a lot of humble people here or a lot of prideful people. I'm not sure yet what that is.

And you need to know, we all struggle with pride. Nobody's immune to that. And I love, many times over the years, I've talked to people and just, and I've said, hey, there's a prideful, critical heart here.

They go, well, you're prideful. I'm like, well, yeah, but that's not the right time to discuss it because that means you're deflecting the pride in your own heart. And when we're prideful, we like to deflect and make excuses and blame the other person.

And that's why it's stiff-necked. And so we're gonna try to humble some people this morning. Part 2, You Hurt Me Now What? Part 2, 1st Corinthians 11. A powerful reminder for all of us, 18 through 19.

Division in the Church and Spiritual Maturity

When you come together as a church, now this is amazing. The Bible actually tells us that there is going to be division in the church. It doesn't promote it, doesn't encourage it, but it says there will be division in a healthy church.

Why? Because in a healthy church, we're trying to grow. And there's growing pains. In a healthy church, there's the demonic realm working overtime, planting seeds of division, planting seeds of discord.

And then not everyone in the church is a united spirit-filled believer. And I've seen statistics out there, and it's pretty close, but if Jesus had 1 out of 12 devils, you know, a church of 1 ,000, there might be 100 people who are not on your side.

And so there will be disunity in a healthy living church. And so Paul said, I hear that there are divisions among you, and I believe it in part, for there must be factions, divisions, contentions. There must be that among you in order that those who are genuine among you may be recognized.

So if somebody is, if there's a group of people, you're spirit-filled believers, you're wanting to live out God's Word, and you're wanting to grow in humility, and there's others who don't, there's going to be friction.

You want to honor God? Others don't. You want to worship? Others don't. It's that bickering and complaining that in the church, there's divisions to show who is really of God. And that's what division can do.

It can really show you who is mature in the faith, who really wants to grow, who is filled with the Spirit, who is erring on the side of grace, and it will show you those who are divisive and immature.

This is actually one of the best ways you can expose the wolf in sheep's clothing as well, because of division in the church. And it points out, okay, there's a division. Who's on God's side? Who's on God's side?

And I remember, I think it was Ronald Reagan when they're debating Republican, Democrat, and he goes, I just want to know what side God is on. That's what side I want to be on. And so that's in the church.

We want to be on God's side. And anytime you're fighting for unity, you're contending for unity, there will be division. And it proves who is who. And how you handle that conflict says a lot. Church, always remember this.

How you handle conflict reveals a lot about your spiritual maturity. Do we throw a fit and get upset and go on angry tirades and try to defend ourselves and get them back and hold in a spirit of bitterness?

Or do we own it, work on it, grow together? And I think one of the biggest indications of spiritual maturity is how a person handles conflict. One of the biggest indicators of spiritual maturity is, or lack of it, I should say, is how they handle conflict.

And the irony is, over the years I've seen those who are spiritually mature, want God's will for their life, fill up the spirit, they're actually okay with conflict and talking through things and working it out and getting stronger.

Those who are immature and don't like it, they don't like conflict because they don't want to be exposed. Remember, truth invites scrutiny. Let's talk about it. Error runs from it. And so a person who's always avoiding conflict...

Now, anybody out there who's not a person of conflict, you don't like it? I think most of us don't like it. So we shouldn't run to it. We shouldn't look forward to it. We shouldn't be, you know, just can't wait for conflict.

But when it comes, and that's what I talked about last week, you need to listen to last week's message really as well because it was the twin to this message. It sets the stage for, if you're going to grow spiritually, there's going to be conflict.

If you're going to mature, there's going to be conflict. There's just no way around it. And I wish there was. Amen? It was one of the biggest lessons I ever learned being a pastor. Because you think, you know, most church planters think they're going to do it the right way.

I'm going to do it the right way. And you realize that there's no right way, only God's way. And hey, the way we do it, there can be not much conflict. Yes, there is a lot of conflict. The core group we started with, most of them were gone in six months.

Often because they were hurt. They were offended. One group, I remember they thought they were going to be the worship team, and they weren't the worship team. They weren't really that gifted, and that hurt them.

Another group wanted us to not hire or not have a youth pastor because they think all the kids should always be in the church. It's called the Family Integrated Church Movement. A lot of wisdom in some of that.

We have our kids, actually our young adults in here. We don't offer teen and studies on Sundays. They have it on Wednesdays, so they can actually be in the service. But it was such a point of contention.

Oh, you got to watch this Vody Bachman sermon. Okay, I've seen 15 of them. What do you want me to do? That's how they do their church. That's great for them, but God might have us doing something a little bit different.

And your contention and contention. That's how you know when the enemy likes you bickering, complaining over the little things. We would actually get in heated discussions, not to you, but because I wasn't making a lot of announcements.

And so I said, okay, let's try it one Sunday. And I'll never remember. Her name was Chelsea, and she's just singing, I don't remember what it was. Something about the Holy Spirit, and it was just a powerful worship song.

People are just engaged, and then we turn on the lights, sit down, now let's have 10 minutes of announcements. The men's potluck that is coming up is next week, and the women's tea is this. It's like, we just killed that environment.

And so, see, conflict. But that's how we did it in our old church. Okay, that's good, but is this something we really need to argue over? And I'm just opening up because that's church life. How we used to do things.

And that's what you really know when you're trouble. Well, that's not how we used to do it, or that's not how this was such-and-such church, or when I was growing up, that's not how we used to do it.

And we don't have it too much, but early on, especially coming up here, the biggest battles were what they would call the worship wars. You know where I'm going with this? Old hymns or contemporary. And boy, it's a battle.

The reason is preference. Preference. If you were used to the old hymns growing up, and it really resonates with you, like when you hear the Star-Spangled Banner or something, I mean, something just, you know, patriotic, but you could hear those.

And that's when I came to the Lord. That's when I walked that sawdust trail. Billy Graham used to have those revivals, and an old rugged cross, and you can relate where some of us, others, came up with contemporary songs drawing us back to the Lord.

And both sets are good if they're grounded in God's Word. Because, remember, the old hymns used to be new hymns when they were first written. And I remember reading Charles Wesley's biography, and Martin Luther, when he would try to bring new songs into the church.

They wouldn't, they wouldn't, we sing them now. Mighty is our fortress, I believe. But when that was first introduced, it's like, ah, we got to go back. So see, it's always been that throughout the ages.

And the enemy loves that kind of division because the Spirit of God is not there. If you're always fighting, and dividing, and arguing over all these things. So what I didn't get to last week is what I want to share with you this morning.

Humility as the Antidote to Conflict

The first thing you have to do is grab the hammer of humility. And what do you do with a hammer? So hit yourself right here. Hit you, grab the hammer of humility. Pride has to be crushed with a sledgehammer, not caressed with a feather.

Pain, pain, pain equals what? Yes, pain, pain, pain. And it's hard, it's really hard for a conflict to flourish when both people are humble. How did, what soil does it grow in? How can you have an argument?

We're like, you know what, you're right, great point, let's move forward, let's be united, let's not let this divide us. Versus stiff-necked. My way, this way, I don't want to do it that way, I'm feeling threatened.

And pride comes up in all of us. And we have to just let the hammer of humility crush it. And there's a verse, oh yeah, here it is. God encourages us to humble ourselves. But the verse I didn't put was when it says, humble yourself under the mighty hand of God that in due time he will exalt you.

Exalt yourself and he will humble you. Let me tell you, it's much, much better to humble yourself, amen? Humble yourself because God, the way he humbles you is he embarrasses you. He exposes you. Humble yourself, take the lower road.

And it's challenging, I've been in discussions where I know I was right, I know I could have drove a point home, I know I could just, bam, slam slammed it. But for the sake of unity, say hey, you know what, let's just start afresh.

We don't need to rehash that. Let's just both move forward on this point knowing we love each other, be united, and just let that go. Love, love doesn't keep any record wrong done against it. Always hopes, always perseverance, always trust.

And you start afresh. But internally, I'm not wanting to say those things. What's happening internally? My defense attorney and within. But Shane, let him have it. You know, you're right, you need to prove yourself, you need to show them, you need to get the last word in.

Any last worders out there? If you're not honest, I can point you out because I know, I know who those last worders are. Right, the conversation's over. Oh, pastor, by the way, when you said such-and-such, but isn't it funny, we all grow together, we all mature together if we're willing.

One thing about this area is you will grow, you will mature, you will become stronger if you open yourself up to God transforming you. It just, it happens. I look back at my life and I'm like, oh, I'm glad God waited till I was 40 to plant a church.

I would have, I would have hurt a lot of people in my 20s. You know, I remember, you remember those, what do they call it, where your mouse sits on? Mouse pad? Okay, mouse pad. But it's, and I'll still remember, there's this big, mean Steelers football player.

It said, in life, you're either the pavement or you're the steamroller. And I chose to be, guess what? Yeah. And that was my motto. And I would tell people, in life, stop crying. In life, you're either the pavement or you're the steamroller.

That's not true, right? You can, you can be a mixture of both. You can drive the steamroller and then decide what needs to be crushed, what needs to be smoothed out. God encourages us to humble ourselves and use gentle words to turn away wrath.

That is so powerful, the power of the gentle word. Because as a fire is brewing, you can throw gas on that fire by your words, husbands. Or you can throw water on the fire. Humble yourself and be gentle.

In doing so, we receive God's grace rather than His resistance. Resistance. Again, we can all see when a conversation isn't going well. Have you been there? And when they're saying things, it's like, oh, I feel the fire burning.

I feel, and I'm gonna let them have it. That's the time to take those thoughts captive. And you can also learn from the person, even if they're wrong. Even if the person is wrong, there's something you can learn from them.

I told someone just this week, we thought if somebody, they were in the wrong, let's say. But, you know, even a donkey spoke to Balaam. If God's getting us to, getting to wake us up, we have to listen to those we might not agree with.

And then, of course, the obvious, stop the stinking thinking. Stop the, boy, if we could just take our thoughts captive. Think about that. Not every thought you have is a good thought. You have to sift it through the filter of God's Word.

The enemy can also shoot fiery darts into your mind. The Bible talks about avoiding the fiery darts of the enemy. And it gives the image, Paul actually gives an image, of putting on the whole armor of God.

So you have a shield of faith and the breastplate of righteousness. You have all these different things. But it talks about the fiery darts of the enemy. And to date, I've never been hit with an actual fiery dart.

Physical. Ow, that hurt. The devil got me again. Where do they come? And so you have your own thoughts. The rebel within is wanting you to defend yourself. And how dare they? And then you have the enemy fueling the fire.

Do you know why the fire is on the dart? What they would do is dip the arrows into some type of oil tar. They would light it on fire. And then they would shoot maybe a house or something or something with a lot of wood.

And it would ignite. And so that's a perfect picture there. The fiery dart just ignites, stirs the pot. Right? Have you seen that? I'm not cabbage patching. That would look funny if I did, wouldn't it?

The cabbage patch. Remember that? Your kids are like, what is that? Cabbage patch was a dance in the 1990s. And you were stirring the pot. How did I think of that? I didn't even think of cabbage patch in the first service.

So let's say you're stirring the pot. The enemy's stirring the pot, fueling the flames of hatred and discord. And I believe the thoughts is a thought from God. Is it my own thought? It's a thought from the enemy.

I don't know exactly how it works, but the brain, if you study, the study like the brain, like the people who actually study the brain, and you read their writings, it's amazing how much the brain can comprehend and neurotransmitters and how they send messages in the subconscious.

And it's just amazing. And somehow our brain, do you know something, do you ever have something, it's not that real, really a big of a deal, but by the end of the day, it's a real big deal? What happened?

Who fueled that fire? I'm so mad. By the end of the day, you're fuming. Come on, 11 a .m., you got to be more honest. And 9 a .m. was not very honest on this point. It's like I had a whole, a holy group of Billy Grahams, and I'm the only one up here being transparent.

But by the end of the day, you are fuming. It's those fiery darts. So you have to take those thoughts captive and saying, this is not good, it's not godly, it's not productive, Lord. And if you take that thought captive, you can actually quench and put out those fiery darts.

That's how that works. And many of our thoughts are not good for that very reason, and definitely not godly. And then in addition to that, I believe this is how the enemy, when the Bible talks about avoiding the fiery darts or blocking the fiery darts of the enemy, I've never been hit by a physical fiery dart, but I've been hit by a lot of mental fiery darts.

Here's exactly what happens. You're already ticked off because of the flesh of pride. You know, it's just, hmm. Anybody keeps talking, you just keep getting more upset. And then here comes the fiery darts.

The enemy says, I see my opportunity. Bam! And then it just fuels. Fiery darts fuels the flame that's already going in the mind. And that's how most people, things are getting misconstrued or misinterpreted or misunderstood.

It's because those those fiery darts. And the devil, I believe, those thoughts will tell you what is not true. He is the father of lies. He is, that's his nature, that the word, one of the words for devil is liar, deceiver.

And so you're already thinking or feeling a certain way, and then he throws fuel onto the fire. And now you're really worked up. Now you're really blazing. And that's how he works. That's how he causes division in the church.

And it's sad to see. And that's why, even though it's hard, it's good to talk through things. Anybody ever pray, Lord, you just fix this. I don't ever want to talk about it. How many of us understand that doesn't usually work?

That's like the doctor saying, Shane, you got some cancer growing, but let's just leave it alone. Hope it goes away. We can remove it right now. No, that's okay. I'm of the soul. And it keeps eating at us and eating.

Now, there are some things to just let go. I'm going to get to that hopefully in a minute. So I've got some things that will help in order to do this. We must take every thought captive every day, sometimes every second.

What does that look like? Okay, let's say I'm offended by somebody or hurt by somebody. You know what, Lord, that's, I'm not going to let this ruin my day. I'm not going to not going to react to them.

They, and I, this helps me a lot. Anybody not good in traffic when they're in a hurry? Okay, good. Not just me. And that's why I never put a radio station bumper sticker on my truck. I don't put any, I don't put any, I don't put anything on my truck to know I'm a Christian.

Pray for me. You know, it's all, but, you know, and I'll say, Lord, I'm, maybe they're in a hurry. You know, maybe they got to get to the hospital. Well, Shane, that's lying. Not necessarily. I don't know.

Maybe, maybe there's a baby at home that, I mean, who knows why they're in a hurry. And if I take my thoughts captive versus that young jerk, I'm going to teach him a lesson. Let me get right on his tail, too.

Taking the thoughts captive. Somebody says something. Do you take that wrong or do you take the thought captive? Well, I'm sure they didn't mean that. You see how this, how easy that is? You can tilt the scale really quick in the right or wrong direction.

In these key moments, ask yourself, you ready for this one? Drum roll. Is what I'm thinking true and godly? And then number three, am I letting anger and pride influence me? Do you know that most marital conflicts are because of pride and not getting our way?

Not doing things the way we want it to go or spending? Finance is one of the top marriage issues. Because how they want to spend it is not how you want to spend it. Or what they want to do for a certain date or something is not what you want to do.

I mean, there's a plethora of examples. And so ask, is what I'm thinking, is it true and godly? Because as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. And then am I letting anger and pride influence me? How does pride, how does, because if somebody says something that hurts my pride, and then now I react, so am I just letting my pride?

Because when anytime people offer constructive criticism, pride usually rises up. Right? The defense attorney within who doesn't sleep, doesn't slumber, he wants to excuse you. Listen, your honor, my client.

And he'll just make lots of excuses for you. The defense attorney within. Am I letting pride influence me? Number four, what does the Bible say about this situation? And how should I handle it from a biblical perspective?

Five, ask, is this really something I need to address or am I mad because my pride has been hurt or am I convicted? I talked about that last Sunday, the top ten sermon principles that convict people that I give.

And I've seen over the years so many people, we sit down and they talk and they're upset. I'm like, oh, you're convicted. That's it, we can't fix that. I can't shut up. Conviction. And when we're convicted, we don't want to hear it.

What do we do? Got to shoot the messenger. Same within your own family sometimes. And remember, this is so important, the faults in others I can easily see, but praise God there's none in me. That is pride, pride, pride.

Biblical Love, Grace, and Forgiveness

And then the next point, embrace the gift of grace. Isn't grace a gift? Grace is a gift. 1st Corinthians 13. Anytime we say we love something, I love a nut burger or I love chocolate, we often, you know, have a skewed definition of love.

Here's the real biblical definition of love. Love is patient, it's kind, it doesn't envy, it doesn't boast, it's not proud, it does not dishonor others, it's not self-seeking, it's not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. And if we're acting like that and erring on the side of grace, conflict is much, much easier.

It doesn't mean you don't do anything, doesn't mean you're the pavement and somebody else is the steamroller. It just means you're not going to let pride get under your skin. And here's the wonderful thing is love brings joy.

Are you missing joy in your life? Apply this verse. I don't know exactly how it works spiritually speaking, but when I'm applying God's Word and love is patient and kind and doesn't envy, it doesn't boast, it's not proud, it's not rude, it's not self-seeking, it keeps no record of wrong done against it.

And when I'm doing these things, joy is the outflow. Yes, I'm going through a conflict or a challenge, but there's joy, joy unspeakable, because I'm applying the Word of God. But when I'm impatient, unkind, unloving, jealous, boasting, and putting down others, I'm walking around disgruntled.

You ever know those people, they're always disgruntled? I don't even want to talk to them on the phone. I don't want to run into them. Oh, woe is me. The housing market and the economy and the fuel prices and this.

Oh, every single time we talk. Judgmental Jerry, get a heart transplant by the Word of God and just be filled with love. See, it doesn't excuse these things, but you've got to bring some love and joy into your heart by applying the Scripture.

Forgiveness removes an unhealthy burden that you're carrying. See, that's the thing we forget about, unforgiveness. You think I'm getting them back. You're not getting anybody back. You're carrying an unhealthy, toxic burden by not forgiving and moving forward and being hurt.

So when you're hurt, the key to when I'm hurt, I'm removing that hurt. I might still be there calling my name, knocking on the door, but I'm not, you know, I'm just going to relieve myself of this burden.

I'm going to forgive and I'm going to move forward. You might get hurt again, but see, you don't keep that burden because unforgiveness, what it does, it begins to fester in your heart and your heart becomes hard and critical and condescending.

And we have to lay that down at the foot of the cross. But we might say they don't deserve it. Exactly. They don't deserve my forgiveness. They don't, exactly. We didn't deserve the love of God. We didn't deserve God's grace, God, Jesus' grace on our life.

Exactly. That's why we do it, not because someone deserves it. And don't let preference cause division or misunderstandings build bitterness. So what I try to do is if it's something kind of minimal, you let it go.

Just say, Lord, just because you don't know if it's your mind trying to, you know, the enemy fiery darts, because the enemy will keep something alive as well. Fiery darts, this, but if God put something on your heart, like, I really need to talk about this.

I really need to talk about this. There's wisdom in talking about it, but sometimes you just let it go. Or when you talk about it, you clear the air so that way the misunderstandings are dealt with. You see where they're coming from.

One of the best things you can do is see where someone is coming from, and they hear where you're coming from. And I've been in a lot of meetings pastoring over the years. A lot of meetings. A lot of meetings.

And it's funny to hear how a person felt, even though it wasn't meant that way, why perceived it as this. I felt it this way. And the other person, well, no, that's, this is how I felt. And so you clear up the misunderstandings in the air.

Now somebody could be totally, you know, not being honest with you. That's going to happen from time to time. But also this one is so important. I touched base on it last week. Don't let preference cause division.

Do you know that's where a lot of division comes from? I prefer. I prefer this. I prefer that. I don't prefer you do that. My preference is this. And then we get, you know, our little pity parties going.

And the gossiping and the slandering, often over preference. Because think about it, a Bible-believing church, many people aren't leaving because, oh, that church has drifted from the truth. That's a no-brainer.

What do most people leave for? I've been hurt. I've been offended. Preference. And it's causing a lot of pain, and it doesn't need to. We all prefer things a different way. A different style, possibly.

Seeking Peace Without Compromising Truth

Seek peace. The next point. Seek peace, but not capitulation. Do you know what the difference is? A .W. Tozer was really famous for saying something like, God loves peacemakers, but not religious negotiators.

And a lot of times in the church, we think, oh, just be at peace with all men. Just be at peace. But if they're divided over the truth, I can't be at peace with them. How am I supposed to fellowship with them or go to church together?

And they're rejecting God. They're following a false God. And so it's not peace at any cost. That's not biblical. Biblical is not peace at any cost. True unity in the church is unity of faith, unity of doctrine, unity of core beliefs and the essentials.

We're all united around that. And so when somebody's departed from that, it's hard to be at peace with them. Now, you can be at peace, you know, if they're your neighbor, mow their lawn, pick up their trash.

I mean, of course. But when it comes to worshiping God, Romans 12, 18, if it is possible, maybe this is for someone this morning. If it is possible, that tells me sometimes it's not possible. Anybody out there who likes to force reconciliation?

Or just me? Four people? Oh, now we're getting honest. No, you want to, there's a lot of hands that need to go up. Let's be honest. You want, you try to push reconciliation. You try to, come on, let's get together.

Come on, we got to make this work. We got to fix this. Come on, come on, come on. And you're phoning, you're texting, you're sending flowers, spouses. If it's possible, as much as it depends upon, in other words, do what you can do, but then let it go.

Because God looks at you and what you're doing. He doesn't hold you accountable for the actions of another person. And this has helped me over the years so many times. If it's possible, as much as depends upon you, live peaceably with all men.

And I'm going to throw out some numbers here. I'm not exaggerating. I would say nine out of ten people, let's say, who leave this church, they leave all churches, you know, I have no clue why they left.

Not even a hint of why. And sometimes, well, I was treated wrong in children's ministry. I was treated wrong in nursery. Or you said this from the pulpit. Or Pastor Abram didn't call me back. Or Levy didn't call my references.

The usher, Ron won't use me. This person was rude to me. That's not reasons to leave a church. That reveals a prideful heart. And so what we try to do is, hey, and I've even called people, hey, sorry if there's any misunderstandings.

Haven't seen you in months. Let us know. We'd love to apologize. Hardly ever, ever get a call back. Now, some people, what I've seen over the years, too, is once they're kind of drifting from God, maybe get back into the Las Vegas Christian lifestyle, you know, and maybe drifting from God.

They don't want to hear from the church. They don't want to. If anything, you're not going to come to West Side Christian Fellowship if you're not ready to change. That we know for sure. If you don't like to hear the truth, if you don't like conviction, you're going to avoid this like the plague.

And so, so that might be why they leave. Just, you know, I've reached out to people who left because of the music we choose sometimes. I guess a song might not come from the right location or right church, and then now we're going to leave the whole church.

They're drifting. No, it just might not be a song you prefer. But see, there's always more going on. Fiery darts, others are talking to them. And so, this has really helped me because as much as it depends upon me, the first couple years it was hard because you're like, why?

You know what? We got to meet. We got to fix what's going on. But a lot of times you can't fix it. You can throw it out there. And what's that old saying? I'll leave the ball in your court. Hey, I'd like to reconcile.

I'd like to make this work. But that's up to you. I can't do anymore. So Paul said, as long as you've done what you can do, if it's possible, just do what you can do. Matthew 5, therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar, meaning you're coming to church, you're coming to worship, and you remember that your brother has something against you, what do you do?

You leave your gift. You leave the worship service. I mean, there's so much applicability here. I don't know if that's a word, applicability. Let me sound again. We'll look it up. So stop what you're doing.

In other words, you know, I'm worshiping God. I'm going through the motions. I'm going to church. Yeah, I know this person has this against me, but I don't care. He's saying, go fix that first because disunity will affect your worship.

Anybody ever been there? You get to church. You're in worship, and you're like, oh, what are they doing here? Oh, why are they here? I hope they don't run into me or want to talk to me. And your whole worship service is ruined.

Or, you know, God's just on your heart. Like, call that person. Fix that situation. You're still coming to church. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. You can't get good worship in. You're strained. You don't feel that joy because it's actually sin.

If God's convicting us to go and forgive someone, or at least, as much as it's up to me, reconcile, and I don't, it's going to prevent heartfelt worship. And I think that's going on in the church more than most people realize.

And so it says here, go to them. See, your responsibility. You go to them. Hey, if there's a conflict, I know there's some issues, let's talk about it. Love to reconcile. They say, nope, guess what? You're off the hook.

Now you can go worship with the right heart, because you did what you were called to do. And I think it's interesting. We can get it. I mean, if we had time to go to Matthew 18, maybe later. But this is, if you know someone has something against you.

See, for a while, I thought that could be my, I could, that could be, if somebody had something against me, okay, that's their problem. I could avoid it. But scripturally, it's hard if you know somebody has something against you.

You have, you should go to them. So anytime I hear, you know, because it gets around, right? You know, around it, you know, hey, somebody said that you kind of, you know, you hurt them this way, or you said something in your sermon.

See, before you said that I was fine. Now I know, now I have to try to fix the situation. And it's so many different areas. I wish, you know, I want to be careful too, because people listen and go, why did you use me in your sermon?

Hey, I didn't mention names. I didn't mention situations. I didn't mention dates, conviction. But I use my, my, and Pastor Ed, we use examples of ourselves more than anybody else, how we own it, how we need to work on things.

But again, if it's possible, it's also not possible to pursue peace if we have to negotiate the absolute truth of God's word. Again, be peacemakers, but not capitulators. And you'll see, have you heard that the term?

Some of you know exactly what it means. Some of you aren't too sure. Woke, wokeness. Have you ever been hearing that? Like Disney is going woke. It basically means we have to appease a small minority of people because they're crybabies.

And we have to upset everyone else, the vast majority of morality, and we go woke. In other words, it's basically oversensitive too. And they will, they will call you out over something you said 25 years ago.

They won't look in the mirror themselves, but they'll, and so that the whole woke culture and President Biden, I don't remember her term. She just, they just appointed this lady. She's in charge of equity, meaning equality across the board.