Dreams in Flames - Part 2 — Winkie Pratney

This is tape number 3228 from the Fresh Bird Tape Library. Winky Prattney is speaking on the subject, Dreams and Flames, Part 2. All right, friends, turn in your Bibles to the book of Matthew, please.

The Sermon on the Mount and Purity of Heart

Book of Matthew, chapter 5, page 765. I don't think there's any more powerful practical principles of how to live a Christian life than the Sermon on the Mount. Seeing the multitudes, he went up into a mountain.

When he was said, his disciples came to him. And he opened his mouth, and he taught them, saying, Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.

And then I want you to say together with me, verse 8. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. On that, one more time. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Heavenly Father, we look to you this morning in love and adoration.

We thank you for who you are, the kind of person you are, what you have chosen to be, and the things you have chosen to do for the human race. We thank you that though we are tiny, tiny little creatures in a vast ocean of time and space, you reached down in love because you made us in your image, and you cared enough about us to come and die for us and shed your blood for us.

How we thank you for the privilege of being called to be sons and daughters of the living God, called to be princes and princesses of the most high King. And Father, I ask this morning that you will take our minds and bring them to the heart purity that you ask.

I ask that our wills will be consecrated wholly to thee, that we shall see you as you have promised. Give us heart purity this morning. We pray by the preaching of your book and by the power of your Spirit, you will open our eyes and turn us heavenwards, that Jesus may have all the glory, and we will praise you in your lovely name.

Amen. Amen. This morning I want to share with you a thing on dangers of dating. I'm going to talk this morning about what happens when dreams get out of control, and when the flame, which we talked about, begins to burn.

The Dating Triangle and God’s Design for Men and Women

I didn't give you yesterday a very famous triangle, which I must give you this morning. It's a Bill Garthard dating triangle. It's probably the coolest little triangle you've ever seen. So I want you to draw it, please.

This is the dating triangle. Yeah, it's kind of an equilateral triangle. It doesn't matter if it's a bit of a socially thing. Let's see. To the positive, to Bill Garthard. In case any of you don't appreciate true art.

Can you see that? I'll put this back a little bit here so you can all see it. Can you see that now? I better label these things so you know what they are. This is the guy. This is the girl. This is God, presented by.

I have said yesterday that God has given us the two distinct species he's made of the human race, male and female, created he them, two distinctly different kinds of responsibilities towards each other and towards him.

The guy has basically been designed to what? Yeah, right. He's an IBMer and he's a leader. And the girl has been basically designed to what? Inspire. She's an ESPN. That means that the purpose of New Testament dating is basically this.

Agape Love and the Purpose of Christian Dating

There are a lot of different words used for love, and you know that. We say, I love candy, I love my doggie, I love my grandmother. You know, there's all kinds of different words we use for love. The Bible is a bit more specific when it uses words, and the Greek language has quite a number of words for love.

One of the words which is not used in the Bible is the word eros, but that was the word for physical, sexual love. You find equivalent words in the Old Testament Hebrew. And then there's the word phileo, which means friendship, a brother-sisterly type thing, you know, hi brother, this kind of love.

And then there's agape, which is a very special kind of word, in which the New Testament writers rescued from a little tiny family of words that weren't really used very much, and built a whole brand new word, because there was just no words in the whole of human language to describe the kind of thing God did to man, and for man.

And they used the word agape, a very beautiful, fantastic word. This word means to unselfishly choose the highest good of God. The Bible defines for us many times what the love of God is. It says this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments, this is the love of God, that we do this, that we...

If you put it all together, and those of you interested, I'll tell you this afterwards, you get a basic definition like this. To love, with God's kind of love, is to unselfishly choose his highest good, and the highest good of his whole created universe, according to the real value.

That's what love is. Now notice it's a choice. It's a choice, and I said that. Girl, love is not just a cool feeling. I feel so good about that. See, that's not love. That can be romance, which often accompanies love.

But love is a choice, and it is a wise choice. It means you use your smart up here when you choose, see? You don't say, oh, don't you turn me on, whee! You know, and then that's a bad thing, usually. So, I'm going to give you now a definition of purpose.

When a Christian girl dates, she ought to date so that she can inspire the guy she dates to come closer to Jesus Christ. If she dates him like that, she dates with a garpe love. Let me say it again. When a girl dates, she ought to date a guy in order to inspire him to come closer to Jesus.

And when a guy dates a girl with a garpe love, he ought to make choices and set up situations so that he can lead the girl that he dates closer to Jesus. And the end of a New Testament dating session, that should wind up with two kids closer to Jesus Christ than they were before.

That's New Testament dating, if you dare dig it, see? It's the scariest kind of dating in the world because it means you don't go out to get what you can from the other person, which is the way the secular world does it.

The secular world starts down here. It says, what has she got that will turn me on? What has he got that I can get, see? And then reverses this whole thing and says, oh, well, you know, I like, they're pretty cool sort of people.

I like the way their hair curls and stuff like that. And then eventually, after having slept around for three years, they say, hey, what was your name again? They start to get friends sometimes, you know.

And then eventually, they'll try and make a Christian, go to a church and make a wedding out of it or something. Do you see what a horrible mess that leads into? God has a beautiful way of reversing things.

Matter of fact, if you start this way and you work up, you never really make it this. You've got to go that way. And if you started off this way, then what you have to do is do some real repentance and then come back to God's kind of love, which is a clean and pure love.

And God has designed love, this to regulate both friendship and the physical or sexual sides of love and marriage. Now, watch this little weird diagram here. Can you see something? Can you see that the closer this girl comes to Jesus and the closer this guy comes to Jesus, the closer they actually come to each other?

And the converse is true. The further away a guy gets from Jesus and the further away a girl gets from Jesus, the further away, the greater distance they actually place between them real selves. And that's only a silly little diagram, but it happens to be true in life.

And those of you who are Christians, who've ever dated and you've turned away from God's love, you've got selfish, you'll find that happen in your life. You'll find barriers going up between you and you'll find finally you wind up hating each other and you drop each other and then you go out and start the whole mess all over again.

And there's only one way and that's God's way. That's why we say one way. One way in dating, one way in marriage, one way in family, God's way. That little thing will help you. If you break God's purpose in marriage, if you break it, then not only will you feel a cloud go between you and God and there's a right to be a cloud there.

You may pray, but you're not going to pray back, you're not going to talk. But a cloud will go up between you. And the beauty of the romantic side of love cuts off like that. And it just becomes a purely physical sort of grind.

Dates become preludes to necking and petting sessions. That's all. The edge is gone, the beauty is gone, the romance is gone. There's nothing. Dead. Kills love dead. Sex can kill love dead. Really can.

Unless you do it God's way, God's time, God's order. And I think God has designed this. In our dating, ordinary everyday friendship, dating type relationship, God wants our lives regulated by agape. In engagement, when finally we decide, you know, about time that I believe God is leading me to marriage and engagement, you deepen the friendship type thing here.

And then in marriage, you learn the third, final side, the sexual, physical side of marriage. And that makes a fantastic threefold thing. I want you to see something here. If I have two books. Here's book one.

And here's book two. Some people try to glue a marriage by just this thing. Physical. See? And it's a little bit like trying to glue these two books together by the edge. So you can get them pretty tough glue.

But man, that's a sticky glue thing. You know, it doesn't really stick too well. And a few ruptures, boom. And that's the end of it. Nothing to hold it together, see? But if... Say some people are even friends when they marry.

Which is something, you know. Sometimes people even are friendly to each other when they marry. So they've got two things. And it's kind of like trying to join it. It's a little bit more stable. If the physical thing breaks down, well, at least they've got some common interests.

They go to the same club, you know. They sing the same songs. Of course, if there's no common cause that binds their lives together, and no common loyalty, then their interests may go off in different directions.

These marriages usually last about 15 years instead of three. See? But God's kind of marriage is this kind of marriage. And what a beautiful thing that is. Three loves binding together. It's a planar thing.

It's solid. And that's why the Bible says a free-fall core is not quickly broken. Strong ties. Common loyalty to Jesus Christ. Common love. See, here are these two people. They can't agree on something.

In a secular marriage, what do they do? They argue and fight with each other. Hey, hey, hey, come on, get up and bounce. Jerusalem thing. In a Christian marriage, they can't agree. So the girl goes to God and she says, what am I going to do with my husband?

He's becoming impossible. The guy's off in another room saying, I don't know what in the world to do with this wife of mine. See? The Lord says, you repent. You get right. You've done. You've learned it here, here, and here.

And then this is what you ought to do. And he gets on the wife's case, and he says, you repent. You've done this, this, this, and that. So they go back. They apologize to God. And tears, they come back.

Boom. And there's a connection. See that beautiful thing? Common thing. And then sometimes, when they've taken care of this carefully, this friendship side, my goodness sake, they also have a common cause out here that God is working on.

It's like a pyramid, see? Out here there's a ministry they're involved in together. They have a common loyalty to Jesus Christ. They have a common cause they're working together in. And there's a total tie-in together.

That's the purpose. You see that? Don't even say, well, I really love my boyfriend spiritually. Oh, really? That's cool. You guys say, yeah, there's this girl. I really love her spiritually. I really do.

Then you listen to me at least five ways you're trying to lead your girl closer to Jesus Christ. You girl, you listen to me five ways you're trying to inspire your boyfriend to come closer to Jesus. Now I'll tell you whether you spiritually love him or not.

It's so easy to tell. I spiritually love him. When I hold his hand in church, it feels better than outside. You know, that's not spiritual. Now, where's myorrhizis? Somebody ate myorrhizis. I want to go now on to, rapidly and quickly, the dangers of dating.

Cultural Pressures and the Dangers of Dating

Now, it doesn't take a genius, nor very much experience in life before you find out that dating has some dangers and some pitfalls. And the media sure does not help you in this. If you ever watch any kind of commercial on television at all, you will sure find it naive to be, you know, it's hard to be naive today in this area.

I listed some things here. If you want to sell something, usually they use sex. The old Noxzema shave cream thing. Men, take it off. Take it all off. You know, this thing. And the breath mints, remember they make certain that if he kissed you once, he'd kiss you twice.

With the mints, the candy mints that are two, two, you know, mints in one and all this stuff. And then, remember the kicky toothpaste, that gave you sex appeal, do you remember these ones? And all of these combined to give you the impression that if you're 12 years old and you don't have some swinging love affair going, then you're really out of it.

Which is a pretty dumb sort of state of affairs. What it usually winds up is we have a 13-year-old divorcee. Now, some kids get together because they like each other and they finally found that one person they can be comfortable with, you know?

And so this thing that they used to call a steady relationship started. Now, that has some advantages. If you have to go out someplace, there's old Fitzroy who's always there on the other end of the telephone.

Hi, Fitz, you say? You know, I'm going out tonight and you're taking me. He says, right. You know, and he's over there. Very cool to have Fitzroy around there. And, you know, that has some advantages, going steady.

Girls know they're never going to be old maids because they can always call up Fitz and all these things. That's cool. But there is a problem with going steady or whatever you call it. Now, I don't know.

I can't even remember what it's called. I don't think it was even called. You just do it. You don't even call it anything. Well, the problem is this. After a while, you two have been together for a long time, you start to get too familiar with each other, see?

And after a while, you can start letting standards down and that's when you can get into trouble. Now, I want to give you, first of all, some tests of, well, I'll give you a couple of going steady rules.

I think I'll hack all these other tests out. Here's a couple of rules for going steady or whatever you call it. One is don't get serious with anybody, with anybody, till you're ready to be married. You know, I'm thinking of stuff like bills and taxes and all kinds of horrible things like that.

Don't get really serious with anybody until you're ready to be married, which means, you girls, it means this. Don't unreservedly give your love or affection to any guy until you're sure he's God's choice for you and God's giving you the okay on this.

It's as simple as that. Play it light, play it easy. Don't get serious. If you get serious, you get into trouble within one year's time if you've got the going steady relationship. It's as simple as that.

Because if you know you're not going to be married pretty soon, you'll have to, I'll explain that in a little while. You get all kinds of horrible frustrations. And the guys, what does this mean? It means you guys are not to dare lead on a girl to think that you love her when you're really putting her on for your own pleasure.

Don't you dare do that. God will judge you, my friend, if you do that. He will get on your case very hard. Because girls get hurt easily and they are to be protected. And I don't think any guy has a right to say to a girl, I love you, meaning I love you with more than just, you know, God's sort of love.

I don't think any guy has a right to say to a girl, I love you unless in the next birth he's prepared to say, will you marry me? Because if he's not prepared to make the second statement, he oughtn't to make the first.

He doesn't know what he's talking about. And here's the second one. Don't get physically involved. And I'm going to explain in a little while what I mean by physically involved. With anybody, until your wedding date's set.

Just write it down. I'll tell you what it means in a minute. Until your date is set. That's too simple. Theory has started going steady things. And this last one brings me to the next section. What does it mean physically involved?

What does that mean? Now some of you kids have this funny feeling, God doesn't really know very much about sex problems. He really doesn't. He talks about adultery, you know, and the kid says, well that's cool, I'm not married, so that rules that out.

You know. Coming out from among them and being a separate people, which doesn't mean very much to most kids. But do you know that, I think, and of course, I grew up Christian life, life after I gave my life to Jesus, I went around listening, meeting after meeting, everybody preached on the meaning of the tabernacle and the fourth curtain of Isaiah, and I thought, wow, this is really a fantastic thing, but I wish somebody would tell me how to get my date life straightened out.

I never heard a preacher preach a sermon on dating. I thought, dear God, do you say anything about dating at all? You know, and that was the thing, I was interested. I could really care less about the third curtain of Isaiah, I didn't even know whether he had one or not.

But I never heard one preach, and I'll tell you why. I think some preachers are really chickens. They really are. They should go and ask your mother, you know, or something like this. Mother just should go and ask the preacher.

So, I say to you today that I'm going to give you a sermon on sex and dating so you'll never be able to stand before God and say, I didn't know anything. Now, what you do with it, baby, is your affair.

My responsibility is to deliver my soul and to give you the goods. My mother says, I'm going to go and persecute some kids today. I'm going to give you now a list of some Bible words. We can't give you the whole lot.

There's all kinds. There's reprobate, sensual, whoremongers. There are all kinds. There's fornicate and licentiousness and all kinds of goodies here. But I'm not going to give you all of those. I'm going to give you the three major words that are used in the Bible that define the major problems kids have, and Christian kids have, in sex and dating.

I don't think most kids' problems in sex and dating are centered in fornication or adultery. I think they're centered on these three biblical words which I never heard a sermon preached on. Here they are.

Are you ready? I usually write these terms up on the board and then I ask people if they'll give me a simple definition of these words. Here are the words. You know, the New Testament writers knew what these words were.

See, when you read them, you don't know what they are. But they did. They said, ah, here's the first word. They said, define them. I can't even say them. Lasciviousness is the first one. We'll come back and we'll show you how to say them.

Leave a space of about three lines underneath each word so I can give you a definition in some scriptures, all right? Second word. Third word. All right, friends, now, let's say these words together because, girls, if your boyfriend gets off the handle, you can say, ah, that's, and then use the right word, see?

I said, what is that? And then you can preach to him, all right? Here's the word. Lasciviousness. Lasciviousness. Say it together. Lasciviousness. One more time. Lasciviousness. The second word is concupiscence.

Concupiscence. One more time. Concupiscence. All right, you got it. And the last word is defraud. I just put ation on the end to make it look big. Now, some simple definitions. Now, these words use different ways in the Bible, but I'm giving you a definition that will fit into the sexual context, which sometimes is the way they're used.

Lasciviousness is a tendency, sometimes a wider, for instance, this could apply to other desires too, but we're going to use it in a sexual context here, a tendency to stir up lustful desire. And if you want to define it a little more accurately, it is a heart tendency.

And we'll talk to you a little later. The heart, by the way, in the Bible is not this thing here that pumps blood. The heart in the scriptures is used the same way as we use heart today. The guy says to a girl, I love you with all my heart.

She hugs that he means. I prefer you above Agatha and Garbage Alia and all these other people that I know, see? In other words, you're my supreme preference. The guy says, I have my heart set on buying a dune buggy.

Then you know that's what he prefers above all other things, a dune buggy. See that? And in the Bible, the heart, when used in terms of moral things, means that which we supremely prefer over all other things.

And Jesus said there's only two ultimate preferences. We can supremely prefer to please ourselves, or we can supremely prefer to please Jesus. And that put the whole of man in two categories, not three or ten or seventeen, just two.

Wham! Those who are selfish, whose supreme preference is to serve themselves, and those who are Christian, whose supreme preference is to please Jesus, even though it hurts sometimes to make the right choices.

Do you see that? The heart. That's why God says, My son, give me your heart. Now, out of the heart tendency, there stir up lustful desire, and it's at the base of selfishness. If you want a simple word for sin, when you're witnessing on the beach, and kids don't believe in sin, don't use the word sin.

Use selfishness, and it'll really hit hard. That's what the Bible calls sin. Here's all we like, sheep have gone astray. We've turned everyone to his own ways. And Jesus said, If any man come after me, let him deny himself.

Take up his cross and follow me. All right, some scriptures on that quickly. Write down these scriptures. You can look them up in your own time. Scripture, scripture, scriptures. Where are all my scriptures here?

Mark 7, 21 to 22, tells us that lasciviousness comes out of the heart. 2 Corinthians 12 and 21. Paul says, I'm going to cry over some of these people that have sinned and haven't repented of the uncleanness of the sexual fornication, the sexual intercourse between unmarried people or between one married person and an unmarried person.

And then finally he says lasciviousness, which they've committed. There's a tendency to stir up lustful desire. It's something you do inside. Doesn't mean you have to come outside, see? And then Galatians 5, 21 tells us how serious God considers this.

Works of the flesh are manifest. These things, list lasciviousness as one of them. And he says, They which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. So it's a very strong, strong thing here.

Concupiscence, Desire, and the Will

Concupiscence is the next word. And this means an abnormally strong and in this context, sexual desire. Now understand this. Feelings in the Bible are not sinful. They're not the measure of sin. It is the will's committal to those feelings that makes a thing right or wrong.

I cannot be and slap you on the face, like this, you know. I guarantee you will feel angry. I don't care how sanctified you are. Because God has designed us like this. See? He feels angry. But God doesn't sin.

The difference is this. If there's a heart committal to take revenge on that action, see? To commit itself to gratifying that feeling when you know it's going against what God has said, what conscience speaks to you about, the Holy Spirit says, uh-uh.

And if you say, I don't care what, you show power, that's when you get problems. Do you see why Jesus said, if a man looks on a woman to lust after her, he's committed adultery with already in his heart?

See, it's that will committal. Now, it's simply this. Say I was a chalk addict, you know, and I really love chalk. I like to fix some chalk every now and then.

So I'm going past there, you know, and I'm just going, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. Oh, wow. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.

And then I look. Because I see a whole bunch of people watching me, see? Now, question. Have I sinned? Answer is yes. Well, I didn't take it. Ah, but my heart had already decided. The only thing that would stop me was another selfish reason.

You find out a preacher was a chalk addict, see? So I'd lose my reputation. My love of reputation was stronger than my love of chalk. See that? So understand that it is possible to make outward choices and still be wrong.

Now, the reason why I say feelings are not always wrong is because the same word used, same word as used of Jesus saying to the disciples, with strong desire, have I desired to eat this Passover with you.

But it's not used in a sexual context. See that? And Paul said, I have a desire to depart and be with Christ. An overwhelmingly strong desire. But when used, in the Bible called it sometimes evil from two percents, see?

And used in a sexual connotation means when somebody's whole life is so stirred up about sex they can't think of anything else to do. Do you see that? The feelings have overwhelmed the reason. Now, I can tell a guy like that.

See? He goes out on the beach or he's in school, you know, and he's like this. You know, you can tell him. It's all over the place. X-ray treatment. That's the... Let me see now. I'd better give you some scriptures here.

Colossians 3 .5. God says, through His Word, modify or put to death your members which upon fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, that's playing with fire, see? And evil from two percents. That's that one there.

Put to death them, God says. And then a very important scripture. 1 Thessalonians 4 .3 -5. And God says that every one of you should know how to possess a vessel, take care of his body, set upon for God in an honor, not in the lust of abnormally strong sexual desire, even as a heathen which do not know God.

See that? Take care of your body. Don't let it get stirred up. Defraud, now, is probably the most important definition I'll give you, other than these two on the board. Defraud, defraud, defraud. Where's defraud?

Defraud is this. It's a long definition, so I gave it to you last. And I'm going to put it up the top here so the people over here can see it. Defraud is this. To stir up sexual desire in someone else, in another, to turn somebody on that cannot be rightfully satisfied or righteously satisfied.

To stir up sexual desire in somebody else when you know you can't go through with it and still be right. That's defraud. And I think most kids are guilty of those when they get into sexual trouble. It's these three things here that they have to hassle with.

And eventually it winds up in something like masturbation or fornication or something else. But these are where they all begin. It begins in this, it grows into that, and then usually it winds up in defraud.

Defraud then is a sin against somebody else as well as yourself.

And I'm giving you a scripture here. 1 Thessalonians 4, 6 -7.

And I want you to change your word here because the Greek text doesn't put in a word. It's just got that no should go beyond and defraud brother. So I want you to, in King James it puts no man go beyond and defraud.

You missed the whole thing. Change the word man in italics to girl. Change the word his to her. And then you get the message that he's saying here. It's not simply talking about stealing somebody's money because the whole context is sexual.

This is what it says. That no man go beyond and defraud his sister in any matter. For the Lord is the avenger of all such. For God has not called us to uncleanness but to holiness. Or you can change the other word like I said earlier.

That no girl go beyond and defraud her brother in any matter. For the Lord has not called us to uncleanness but to holiness. Now what God is saying here do not you dare go out and turn somebody on. Make steps or dress or act so you'll turn on a brother or a sister when you know you can't righteously go through with that.

Because you get into trouble with God. That's why. All right. Do you see those? Those are the three main things I think in dating. Now we're going to get into pitting and necking now. We're going to talk about pitting and necking.

And some kids say well how far do you go? I really want to know you know. I want to know just how far I can go. Do tell. Some kids say well where are you going to draw the line? You know I suppose you know a kid came up to me and says do you you know I've been talking about don't get physically involved.

He says do you think it's wrong to hold hands? I said what do you want to do? Hold feet? You know as well as I know that there is kissing. And then there is kissing. And then there is kissing. So the question most kids ask is you know where's the line?

You know is it here? Or is it here? Or is it you know where is that line? Now let's talk about necking and pitting for a start. First I want to tell you something I call a time bomb. A bomb has a very long fuse.

Like this. The bomb is designed to explode eventually when you light the fuse. The bomb represents going all the way. Sexual intercourse. The fuse represents the preliminary stages that lead up towards that.

That's the way God designed us. He thought he would make us different from animals. Animals only have this kind of thing once every year. Time comes around you know. But see with human beings God has placed this whole function under the control of the human personality.

Now watch. You light that fuse it is designed to start burning. God invented it like that. Light that fuse and there's no way you can stop it from going any further but closer towards the bomb going off.

That's the way God made you. And it's no good you lighting the fuse and saying oh God take this feeling away. That's a dumb thing to say. You don't want to make you less than a person and that's what he meant.

He designed this thing. So some kids figure how much can I burn the fuse down. So what they do is they go I light the fuse. And then you know they feel rotten about this about here. Oh all of you. You know.

Then the next time you know next time comes. Kid figures well that was really a thrill last thing. So they start burning it down again. They figure I'll just stop here. See same place oh what fun that will be.

And you see God designed this thing to go all the way. When you stop it like that it gets frustrating for you. So what you do is you come to this point again and it's not so much fun as it was before.

Because you know what's beyond and knowing what's beyond makes it hard to be satisfied with less. So what actually happens is next time to get the same amount of kick you got to burn a little further.

And then each time you just keep on burning. Closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer until one fine day after many frustrating times you're right outside here.

And about this time some kid starts saying Oh God take this feeling away. Give me all the fun I had back here. Without having to burn this close. Dummy. Next time you light that fuse it'll blow. It's a simple offense.

Or you can get frustrated and the whole date life goes dead by just trying burning up this all the time which is no good. You know that. So that's why I said you don't get physically involved. I said you don't light the fuse.