I Don't Know How to Go On — Carter Conlon

Facing the Inability to Go Forward

The Lord gave me a message title, which I believe is going to be an encouragement to you today. And it's entitled, I don't know how to go on. I don't know who this is for, but I have a feeling it's for quite a few people here this morning.

You've just come to the place in your life as a Christian, where you found yourself thinking these words, if not saying them, I just don't know how to go on. I don't know how to walk into the future. I don't know where to find strength.

I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to do it anymore. Jeremiah chapter 20, please, if you'll go there and your Bible's with me. Jeremiah chapter 20. And the Lord has confirmed this word with his presence as he always does when he's about to speak to us.

Prayer for God's Presence and Strength

Now, Lord, I thank you for your presence, more than everything, Jesus. I thank you for your presence in this sanctuary when we gather together to worship you and to encourage one another and to unlock your word.

Thank you, Lord, that you have humbled yourself to come and walk with us. And you've chosen, Lord, to be with us. Lord, your word does say that you inhabit the praises of your people, and we thank you for these things today and for the witness, the strong witness of your presence.

Lord, open the word to us. Give me the ability to speak this today. Help your word, Lord, to land solidly and powerfully in every one of our hearts, and prepare us, Lord, for the days ahead. Lord Jesus Christ, we give you the praise and all the glory for what you're about to accomplish in us, and we thank you for it in Jesus' name.

Jeremiah's Perseverance Under Mockery

Jeremiah chapter 20, beginning at verse seven. These are the words of Jeremiah. O Lord, thou hast deceived me, and I was deceived. Thou art stronger than I and has prevailed. I am in derision daily. Everyone mocketh me.

For since I spake, I cried out. I cried violence and spoiled because the word of the Lord was made a reproach unto me and a derision daily. Then I said, I will not make mention of him nor speak any more in his name.

But his word was in my heart as a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I was weary with forbearing, and I could not stay. For I heard the defaming of many, fear on every side. Report, say they, and we will report it.

All my familiars watched for my halting, saying, peradventure, he will be enticed, and we shall prevail against him, and we shall take our revenge on him. But the Lord is with me as a mighty, terrible one, and therefore my persecutors shall stumble, and they shall not prevail.

They shall be greatly ashamed, for they shall not prosper. Their everlasting confusion shall never be forgotten. But O Lord of hosts that tries the righteous and sees the reins of the heart, let me see thy vengeance on them.

For unto thee have I opened my cause. Sing unto the Lord, praise ye the Lord, for he has delivered the soul of the poor from the hand of evildoers. Now Jeremiah was at a place in his life which many sincere believers in Jesus Christ are facing today or will have to soon go through.

I don't think this classroom is avoidable. You know, when I started in ministry as a young man, I was 33 when I went into full-time ministry, and I remember this seasoned veteran minister of the gospel came to visit me one time, and he said to me, I felt then I was ready to take on the world.

I was ready to see revival break out on every side, was ready to preach to anything and everything that would move, and nothing seemed impossible. And he looked me right in the eye, an older man, probably my age, and he said to me, there is a day will come when you will not think you can go another day.

He says, you will not, and it seems so foreign to me to say that. I mean, I had just come out of darkness. I had come to Christ, and there were miracles happening in my life, and the thought of coming to a place where I wouldn't be able to go forward for another day was foreign, actually, to my thinking.

He said, but that day will come. And he said, when the day comes, the Lord will ask you a question. Can you do it for one more day? And all you're required to do is say, yes, Lord, and you go through the next day, and at the end of the next day, the Lord will say to you, can you do it for one more day?

And he said, there's a season in your life. It's an inescapable season, in every Christian's life, where you're not going to know how to go forward. There'll be no natural strength left. Your natural zeal will be gone.

You will face opposition that you can't get through in your own strength. And I remember the day when it came, when I just didn't know if I could go forward. I didn't know where I'd find the strength to go through another day, and his words came back to me.

Can you do it for one more day? And there was a season in my life where that one word from the man of God carried me for many, many weeks. Can you do it for one more day? Can you just find the strength to believe me?

This is what the Lord is asking of us at certain times. First Corinthians 10, 13, Paul says, there's no temptation taken you, but such as is common to men. In other words, you won't go through anything that anybody before you hasn't gone through.

The devil's scheme is to try to tell you that somehow your situation is deeper, darker, more difficult, something that God never thought of has come your way. You've got a struggle too powerful. You've got walls too high.

You've got enemies too great. You can't somehow get through it. But what you're going through, the Bible tells us is common to others. That not only have others gone through it and made it to victory, but others around you are going through it as well.

And that's why it's important for us in the body of Christ, not to be hypocritical, not to pretend that we're something we're not. If anything I've learned over the years, honesty is required of a genuine believer in Jesus Christ.

Folks, you don't have to put on a mask on Sunday morning when somebody says, how are you? And you don't have to put the coat hanger in your mouth so you can smile and say blessed. I know we're blessed, but there are times when just be honest.

Would you pray for me? It's been the worst week of my life. Folks, there's something so wonderful about honesty and vulnerability and a genuine care and compassion for one another, because we all have to go through times and storms.

But God is faithful, Paul says, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that you're able, but will with the test or the temptation, make a way to escape that you might be able to bear it. Now, in the beginning of our text, Jeremiah said, Lord, you deceived me and I was deceived.

Jeremiah's Calling in an Unpopular Generation

Now, he's not implying that God was deceptive. Now, when you look at it in the original Hebrew text, it basically says this, Lord, you overpowered me and you reduced my ability to resist your calling.

I come into your presence and there was a drawing that I couldn't resist and there was a calling that I knew was right. And I accepted the calling. You overpowered my resistance is really what he's saying.

And any ability I had to refrain from taking up this calling you had given to me. Now, in Jeremiah's case, he was called to stand and preach in a very unpopular time, very much like we're in today. There was a season in America, I'm sure, where it was very popular to be a Christian.

Everybody was turning to Christ. Everybody's talking about God. But those days are far gone now. And we're in a season. It's an out of season time to stand for the things of God. And that's the time that Jeremiah was in.

False prophets were deceiving the people. They were believing a lie. Jeremiah saw captivity coming from all sides and tried to warn the people, but they weren't willing to listen. And Jeremiah said, listen, I've responded to this calling, but it's brought me into a place where I've become the object of ridicule and mockery.

In verse eight, he says, I've warned as lovingly as I could of the peril of how they were living and the coming judgments against it. And yet they laughed at me and chose to believe other voices. He said, I cried out, I cried violence and spoil.

In other words, there is no safety here anymore. The security is quickly leaving us. We're about to face times, Jeremiah was telling his generation that without the strength of God, we're not going to get through it.

There's going to have to be a turning to God and it's going to have to be a turning in truth and in genuine righteousness. But all it brought me, he said, was deeper mockery and ridicule. I was laughed at as it is, and many of you are laughed at in the workplace.

You try to live right and all you face is ridicule and mockery. And the ridicule and mockery is getting more vehement. It's getting more cruel all the time. It might've been a snicker, but now it's outright sarcasm and ridicule.

A young lady recently stood up in a college class and basically just shared what she felt God had done in her life, only to find that there were profanities, even from the professor in that class, being directed at her, calling her an idiot and a moron.

In one of our college campuses in this country, for believing that God created the world, that God came as a man, that God went to a cross, that God died for the sins of all humanity. And this is the time we're living in now.

How difficult it is for many who are having to go through these particular classrooms in our generation. Jeremiah said to God, "'I hurt because of the way I've been treated. "'I've only tried to do what you told me to do, "'and it's been mostly rejected.'".

In the beginning of chapter 20, it tells us that Pasher, the son of Imre the priest, who was also chief governor in the house of the Lord, heard that Jeremiah prophesied these things. And Pasher smoked Jeremiah the prophet and put him in stocks that were in the high gate of Benjamin, which was by the house of the Lord.

Most believe that he was given 40 lashes and put in prison because of the warnings that he was bringing. And so not only was he rejected, but he felt deeply wounded. He felt hurt. And in verse nine, he'd come to the point where he said, "'I'm not gonna talk about you anymore.

"'I'll believe, but I'm just gonna be quiet. "'I'm not gonna speak anymore in his name,' he said. "'But his word was in my heart as a burning fire "'shut up in my bones, "'and I was weary with forbearing and I could not stay.'".

In other words, Jeremiah said, "'I decided to be quiet, "'but there was something in me "'that would not let me.'". I got into a lot of trouble as a young Christian when I was a police officer and ended up transferred down to a street platoon.

And there'd just been so much flack because I was a very vocal witness for Christ that I decided to be quiet for a season. I'm just gonna do my job and I'm just gonna be a good cop and I'm just gonna be quiet.

I just need a rest, if you don't mind, God. I just, I've had so many people's fingers stuck in my faces and so many threats that I just can't handle it now. And I just need a rest. And I remember going down and we used to have in those days what they call a parade where you had to stand, they inspected your uniform and gave you all your instructions and notes for the evening.

And I remember I was standing there and it felt kind of good for a moment to be just one of the guys again. Nobody much knew a lot about me except that I was a Christian and I was most likely transferred there because of that.

And there was one guy on the platoon who had, he was just mean. He was mean to the core of his being. He was mean. And he would say anything to anybody at any time. It didn't matter who it was. It didn't matter what rank.

He was just that kind of a person. And he was huge too on top of that. And I remember going out and I had my squad car and I'm driving through the vicinity I was supposed to patrol. And I saw he was in an unmarked car and I saw him parked in a driveway of an abandoned hospital building.

And the Holy Spirit said to me, go and tell him about Jesus. And I have to be honest with you. My first response was you're God, I'm not, you go tell him about Jesus. I could envision this guy because he was quite a character and I could envision him the next night on parade and I'm just brand new and I just wanna be quiet.

I wanna fit in for once. And I could just say, hey guys, you gotta listen to this. Now there's 80 guys lined up. I could just imagine what this would, and I had this vision in my mind of what he was going to do to me publicly if he didn't kill me privately before we got to the next night.

And so I argued with God, but there's something, you see, when you came to Christ, the Holy Spirit came. Now the Holy Spirit is not just a concept of God. The Holy Spirit is the third person of God. He is the fire that is in your bones.

Not just, when Jeremiah says in my bones, it means the very fabric of my being is now, has another life source inside of it. There's something greater than me. There's something greater than my heart.

There's something greater than my own desires that moves me and motivates me to do what I do and to be what I am. And so I bargained with the Lord. I said, well, listen, I'll go get a couple of coffees and if he's still there, I'll tell him.

And so I was really hoping, I have to be honest, I was really hoping he's gonna be gone when I got there. And so I went and got two coffees and then he was still there, unfortunately. So I drove in beside him in the driveway so that our windows are facing each other.

And he rolled down his window and he just looked at me. He never, this guy was never happy. He would never smile. He would never, and he just looked at me and I handed him a coffee and he took it. And then we didn't say anything.

And so I said, well, I said to him, I might as well say this straight to you. I said, I'm a Christian. And I said, God speaks to me. I didn't know if he's gonna pour his coffee through my window. And I said, the Lord told me that you need to talk to me.

Now, I didn't intend on saying it that way. I intended on saying that I need to talk to you, but it came out the opposite way. And I remember thinking, wow, that's a strange statement. And so it was silent for a moment.

And then he turned, he looked at me and he said, I'm an alcoholic, my marriage is finished, and I'm sitting here contemplating committing suicide. And so I shared Christ with him and led him to the Lord right there.

We prayed together, led him to the Lord. And not long after that, he went into prison ministry. And one day he called me after I was gone and into full-time ministry. He said, Carter, I never really thanked you for what you did that night.

I tried to be quiet, Jeremiah said, but I couldn't. I tried to stop speaking. I was tired of the pain. I was tired of the rejection. I was tired of the threatenings. I was tired of what society was trying to do to me, but I couldn't stop.

There was something inside of me, Jeremiah said, that caused me to have to keep speaking. In verse 10, he said, I heard the defaming of many and fear on every side. Report, they say, and we will report it.

And all my familiars watched for my halting, saying peradventure, he will be enticed and will prevail against him and take our revenge on him. Jeremiah said, I looked around and everywhere there was evil conversation.

Fear is on the increase in people's hearts and in everything that they have to say. And opposition to truth is increasing. Conversation in our time is becoming evil. Fear is the buzzword now of the day.

And opposition to everything godly and everything truthful. When we see leaders now parading and giving out in society as if they're winning great victories when they're constantly moving against everything that God says is right and God says is holy.

Opposition in our generation to truth is increasing. Paul tells us in the New Testament that there will be a breakout of lawlessness in our time that is almost unimaginable. And opposition to everything holy, to everything godly, to everything that is right and just.

And finally, the sin nature of man will come to its full fruition. When man bit into that fruit in the Garden of Eden that he could be as God and chart his own course and determine what is right and what is wrong and what is good and what is evil.

And finally, there'll be a massive outbreaking in the world, a casting off as it is of restraint as humankind has seen it. It will be difficult days for the Church of Jesus Christ. It will be hard to stand for the truth of God.

But I believe with all my heart, there will be a power of God available to those who make the choice to stand. The church began supernaturally and the church will finish supernaturally. The church came out of an upper room empowered by the Spirit of Almighty God, given a life source, given strength that doesn't come from anything of our natural being or natural ability, astounding that generation and overturning as it is the arrogance of most of the known world of that time.

And I fully believe the church will finish exactly as she began. Jeremiah said, my familiars, in verse 10, he said, are watched for my halting and they look to entice me. All my old friends wait for me to fail and fall.

All my old habits are begging to come back and conquer me again. I'm afraid of what sin will do to me if it gets a hold of me again. And I know there are people who are thinking this way today who have come here to this house and say, I don't know how to go forward.

I'm afraid to stay where I am. And right behind me, there were people who told me I'm not gonna make it on this journey and they're just waiting to laugh. They're just waiting to point their finger and say, look, we knew it was just some new fad.

It was just some new thing that you got involved in, but it's not going to last. Old habits that I thought were conquered are trying to come back and conquer me again. And I'm afraid because the Bible says, if I go back into sin, it will be seven times worse for me than it was before.

Because I knew the truth and having rejected the truth, where do you go from there? What do you do when you've walked away from truth? Where is there left to go? Where is strength to be found? What hope is there left in the world if I walk away from what I have known?

Paul's Warning and God's Supernatural Preservation

This is what many saints have had to fight, folks. Throughout time, Paul the Apostle had to fight it in Acts 27, when he told the owners and the centurion of the ship, if you try to make this journey, even though it looks like smooth sailing, you are in peril.

You're going to lose not only the ship, but you're going to put your lives in danger if you continue on this course. But they were determined because there was commerce at hand. There were things to be made.

There were plans that came out of the minds of men that had to be formulated and enacted. And Paul found himself in the belly of a ship, ignored and hurt and ridiculed. You can just hear the conversation as some of the soldiers maybe would go by and see this man in chains in the belly of the ship and say, you're the prophet, aren't you?

That said, we shouldn't take this journey. Oh, look at the sun is out. Look at the nice breeze that we're in. We've got all kinds of goods on board here and we're going to travel the world and we're going to prosper and it's going to be better than it ever was before.

And you're trying to tell us that we shouldn't take this journey. You're trying to tell us that there's another haven of safety than the one that we have chosen for ourselves. Oh, you foolish man, you could have it all, but you're trading it for just this place among captives in the belly of a ship.

And Paul in that darkened place, in that place that he must have gotten to. These men were not supermen. Even Elijah, the Bible says, was an ordinary man, an ordinary person just like you and I are. Yet he prayed and God answered his prayer and Paul had to be in the belly of that ship.

And you can be sure that despair is trying to swallow him. You can be sure that everything that Jeremiah has described, the evil conversation, the fear as the storm begins to happen, the opposition to truth that seems to be on all sides is literally gnawing at his inner man and trying to tell him, there's no point to your life.

How are you going to go forward? And if you go forward, what's there to be brought to? In verse 24, Paul in the midst of the storm stood on the deck of that ship. And I do believe the church's finest hour is coming in this city and in this country.

The sudden appearing of the church of Jesus Christ is going to happen, folks. There was a season, there was a storm that came and suddenly people came to themselves and said, where is that man that told us we shouldn't take that journey?

Where is that voice that said this wasn't a wise thing to do and a wise way to live our lives and chart our courses? And Paul stood on the deck of that ship and he told them, he said, don't be afraid.

He had been in prayer and he said, a messenger of God stood beside me and said, Paul, you must be brought before Caesar. You have a destiny, Paul. There's something that God has determined that your life is going to be and to do as a testimony of the reality of Jesus Christ and you must be brought there.

And see, that's the key. Brought, that means moved from one place to another by supernatural means when all natural strength has come to an end. There's a point in time in every believer's life where we must be brought in the strength of God to where in our own strength we just can't go.

We must be brought. I've come to that place in my life. You're coming if you've not come there already. When natural strength is gone, when natural zeal is over, when natural inclinations have failed, when all of the inner itches that come from what we do and why we do it and whose name we do it, I've come to an end.

And we've come to a place where we can't purchase the ticket, we can't row the boat, we can't get there in our own strength anymore. And that's when God says, you're gonna finish your course, you're going to do exactly what I've charted your life to do and you're gonna be brought there supernaturally by the Holy Spirit.

You don't have to be able to figure it out. You don't have to know how you're going to get there. Stretch out your hands and I'll bring you there. John 21, 18, Jesus said to Peter, when you were young, you dressed yourself and you walked anywhere you wanted to go.

In other words, you charted your own course. You were strong, you were impulsive, you felt that you had it all together. But when you shall be old, you will stretch forth your hands. Another will gird you and carry you, whither thou wouldst not.

In other words, Peter, as you're getting older, you're going to learn something. You're going to be brought to places that you can't go and places you don't want to go. And there's no other way to get there but to stretch out your hands, let somebody else dress you or give you the strength you're going to need and take you where you need to go.

Praise be to God. Oh, folks, I have to tell you, next to salvation is one of the most glorious truths that God's ever spoken to my heart. I'm not responsible to get to the end of this journey. I'm responsible to stretch my hands out and let the one who has called me take me there.

By his strength, by his grace, by his mercy, by his promises, by his power, by his love, by his righteousness, by his judgment, by everything that God is, he takes me to the end of the journey so that I can put my feet up in my bed at the end of the days and say, and God is good and his mercy endures forever.

Deliverance from Egypt and the Victory of the Cross

In Exodus chapter 14, I want to conclude with this if you'll turn there in your Bibles with Exodus chapter 14. The children of Israel, remember the scripture says they come out of Egypt with a high hand.

That speaks to me about a hand that's nailed to a cross. They come out with a high hand. They come out in the power of God. Think of the day you came to Christ and God finally gave you an understanding that you could walk away from your captors.

That you didn't have to be bound by depression or suicide or pornography or anger or murder or whatever was in your heart. It didn't have the power to hold you anymore. That you could be free and you were moving to a land of promise, a place that only God can give and God has prepared for those who love him.

And you walked out with a high hand. You walked out with an assurance of victory just as they did in Exodus chapter 14 and verse eight. Says the Lord hardened the heart of Pharaoh king of Egypt and he pursued after the children of Israel.

And the children of Israel went out with a high hand. Hallelujah. But the Egyptians pursued after them, all the horses and chariots of Pharaoh and his horsemen and his army and overtook them in camping by the sea.

Verse 10, and when Pharaoh drew nigh the children of Israel lifted up their eyes and behold the Egyptians marched after them and they were sore afraid. And the children of Israel cried out unto the Lord.

Now evil pursues them to strike fear and dismay into their hearts. That's what many are going through right now. You're being pursued by evil on every side to try to take away that testimony of God out of your mouth.

And they said to Moses, because there were no graves in Egypt, you've taken us away to die in the wilderness. Why have you dealt this way with us to carry us forth out of Egypt? Is not this the word that we told you in Egypt saying, let us alone, that we may serve the Egyptians.

It was better for us to serve the Egyptians than we should die in the wilderness. Remember, Jeremiah said, Lord, you overpowered me. You took me on this journey. And I'm just so tired of the rejection.

I'm so tired of the beatings. And Moses said to the people, fear not, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord, which he'll show you today. For the Egyptians whom you've seen today, you shall see them again no more forever.

The Lord shall fight for you and you shall hold your peace. The Lord will fight for you. You don't have to figure it out and neither do I. And the Lord said to Moses, why do you cry to me? Speak to the children of Israel that they go forward, but lift up thy rod and stretch out thy hand over the sea and divide it.

And the children of Israel shall go on dry ground through the midst of the sea. Lift up the victory. One more time, Times Square Church, lift up the victory of Christ. Lift up that faith and confidence that you've always had in God through Jesus Christ.

Lift up that cross and put that cross and that victory of the cross right in the face of the devil, right in the face of impossibility. Put that victory of the cross in the face of everything that stands before you and tries to tell you this far and no farther.

This is the end of your life. This is the finish of your testimony. This is as deep and as far as it's going to go. The Lord said to Moses, don't cry to me. Lift up your hand. Lift up that rod that's in your hand.

Lift up that power that God has given to you and stretch out your hand over this place of impossibility and divide it and move into the supernatural power of God. And the rest is history. Moses obeyed God and he lifted up that rod that God had put in his hand.

It is a type of the victory of Jesus Christ. And that which was impossible parted before him. And when they got to the other side, he lifted the rod again and the waters of that river enclosed and drowned all of their enemies.

Now I've often said, if you want to know what that looked like when they passed through the sea, just hold up your Bible like this in the middle, close one eye and look right down the middle. That's exactly what it looked like because he was holding a big Bible and he was taking his children right through the Red Sea and into the promised land.

And so you might not see your way through, but you open this book and look down the center of it. And when you've read the promises, turn it around and look the other way and say, enemies, I drown you in the pages of this book.

Hallelujah to the Lamb of God. Hallelujah. God's promises are all that I need. I don't need anything else. If I believe this book, you can't pursue me. You can't take away my testimony. You can't stop my journey.

You can't take my victory. Glory to God. Paul said, I will stand before Caesar. And even if it's just to stand there and make a declaration to a man who thinks he's God, to tell him he's not God, if that's the end of my journey, then that's good enough for me.

And the Lord said, Paul, because you've had this determination in your heart to finish this course, whether you understand it or don't understand it, and to be taken there by supernatural power, I've given you 276 people to take with you on this ship.

Praise be to God. That's the supernatural power of God. That's where evangelism is found. It's in a people like you and I who simply cannot be stopped by adversity. There's nothing the devil can throw in front of us that says this far and no farther.

We have the word of God. We have the power of God. We have the promises of God. And I'm going through to the other side. I'm gonna finish this walk. I'm gonna finish this race in the power of my God. Hallelujah to the Lamb of God.

God's Presence with the Persecuted

Hallelujah to the Lamb of God. Jeremiah chapter 20 and verse 11. He said, the Lord is with me as a mighty, terrible one. That means a powerful God. Therefore, my persecutors shall stumble and they shall not prevail.

They shall be greatly ashamed, for they shall not prosper. And their everlasting confusion shall never be forgotten. We just read about it, at least a portion of it in the book of Exodus, the everlasting confusion of our enemies, never forgotten, never forgotten.

Those things that try to tell you you can't, or you can't go farther, you can't go on, you can't make it, says these things are going to be ashamed. They will not prevail. They'll stumble, they'll fall, they'll not prosper.

And their everlasting confusion will not be forgotten. You see, you'll be talking about it for eternity. It will never be forgotten. You'll be traveling through, I don't know, if we travel through galaxies, I don't know how it works in heaven.

I don't need to know. I just need to know it's heaven and I'm going there. And I know I'm gonna have a story to tell and I'm never gonna get tired of telling it, of what God did and who he was and how merciful he is and how humble he was to walk with me and with you.

And how all of our enemies that tried to conquer us, Paul said, the fears without and the fightings within or vice versa, all of these things that come on every side to stop the testimony of God could not prevail.

Because in my heart and in my body, there was something of God stored there that would not let me stand still, that would not let this journey finish in defeat, that would not let you and I somehow settle into some kind of religious lukewarmness that bears no resemblance or testimony of the life of God that is given to us.

No, we made the choice to get up and move forward. We made the choice to do it one day at a time if that's all the faith we could muster. But it was good enough, God met us there. Oh, Lord of hosts, he says in verse 12, who try the righteous.