Understanding Marriage - What Submission Is — David Guzik

Submission as a Spirit-Filled Life

This is the third message in the series Understanding marriage from Ephesians chapter 5. The title of this teaching is what submission is? Let's join our teacher pastor David Goosing speaking at Calvary Chapel of Simi Valley.

Ephesians chapter 5. This morning we're going to take a look at verse 21 in particular. But I think it would be good for us to get sort of a running start. So let's start at verse 15 and get it get a feel for the context of what Paul is speaking about.

This is the third in a series that we have of Understanding marriage from Ephesians chapter 5 and this morning if I could give a title to the message, I'll title it what submission is. We won't even really be dealing properly or specifically with with submission in marriage.

That'll come next week as we start into verse 22. But I think since this whole theme through this section of Ephesians a major aspect of it is submission. We should understand what it is what we mean by it.

So let's start at verse 15 and get idea of our context here. Paul writes and he says see then. That you walk circumspectly not as fools, but as wise. Redeeming the time because the days are evil. Therefore do not be unwise.

But understand what the will of the Lord is and do not be drunk with wine in which is dissipation but be filled with the spirit. Speaking to one another in Psalms and hymns and spiritual songs. Singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord giving.

Thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Submitting to one another in the fear of God. Our subject for today is submitting to one another in the fear of God.

It's a subject that our culture and our modern way of thinking isn't very friendly to. Matter of fact when you really think about it. Our culture is outright hostile to the idea of Submitting in the fear of God or in the fear of anybody else for that matter.

See for more than a generation now our cultures rejected the idea that we really should submit to anybody or anything except to ourselves. You could date it from the 1960s. I don't know if there's any exact date.

But since that time there's been a massive change in the way that we see in the way that we accept and regard authority in our culture. Many citizens do not want to submit to the government's authority.

Many students do not want to submit to their teachers authority. Many women do not want to submit to their husband's authority. Many children do not want to submit to their parents authority. Many employees do not want to submit to their employers authority.

Many people do not want to submit to their to the police's authority. Some policemen do not want to submit to the laws authority. And some Christians don't want to submit to the church's authority. I Believe it's important for us to ask a very pointed question when we think about how our culture's changed in the last 30 or 40 Years in this regard and simply to ask if these changes been good.

Do we feel safer? Are we more confident in our culture have television and movies and other? Sources of entertainment have they become a better and more beneficial for culture and society. You know we'd answer all those questions is no.

In fact our society's presently in and rushing towards a place of anarchy a place where no Authority is accepted and the only thing that matters is what I want to do. Doesn't matter what the government says what matters is what I want to do.

Doesn't matter what a moral code says. It matters is what I want to do. It's fair to describe our present moral state as a state of anarchy. There's really no moral authority in our culture. When it comes to morality the only thing that matters is again what a person wants to do.

We can even say that in sense of many communities many neighborhoods in our society in our nation. They're given over to anarchy if you go into some inner-city neighborhoods where Gang and drug warfare is rampant.

Do you think that our government's authority is really accepted in those gang? Infested or drug infested portions of the city. No the only thing that matters there is what a person wants to do. Now I'd say that we see this broader attack on authority as a direct Satanic strategy to destroy our society and to destroy millions of individual lives.

And I think Satan wants to destroy these institutions and the respect for authority mainly in two ways first of all the same desires to corrupt people or positions of authority. I Mean after all how can you respect the politician who's corrupt?

How can you respect that the pastor whose life is filled with scandal? How can you respect this person who cheats or that person people who are in a position of authority when they are corrupted? It makes you not want to submit to them you feel like you're free from that responsibility.

But then even beyond that we see an even broader scale of just the plain flat-out rejection of authority. Because it's not only dishonest politicians that are disregarded, right? It's not only the corrupt people who aren't respected in authority.

Sometimes many fine upstanding people their authority isn't respected either now this whole idea this whole issue of order and authority and Submission to the order of authority. They're very important to God.

They're very near to his heart. Matter of fact, I would say that they're part of his very being. I'll say that again these issues of authority and submission are so important to God that they are a part of his very being.

Authority and Submission Within the Trinity

Let me give you a very elementary lesson in theology here that the first person of the Holy Trinity is called God the Father. The second person of the Holy Trinity we call God the Son. Inherent in those relationships inherent in those titles father and son is an order of authority.

The father exercises authority over the son and the son submits to the father's authority. And this is in the very nature and being of God. Friends, he didn't have to organize it that way, but he did.

Because order of authority and submission to authority are part of God's very being. When Jesus walked this earth, he said I don't do anything except that which I received from my father. He was in complete submission to the father's order of authority.

And our failure to exercise biblical authority and our failure to submit to biblical authority. It isn't just wrong. It isn't just sad. It sins against the very nature of God. Remember 1st Samuel chapter 15 verse 23.

In that passage of scripture. There's a statement. That's so dramatic that we read it and it almost seems extreme. It's one of those passages that you read you almost wonder if God isn't going overboard on this one.

But God says in 1st Samuel 15 23 for rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft. Yeah, read that and you say you almost want to say lighten up Lord a little bit. You're taking this a little bit too seriously, aren't you?

But of course God never takes anything too seriously, of course, he he knows the right measure of Sobriety and the right measure of emphasis to put on each individual thing and when God says that rebellion is as a sin of witchcraft.

He's indicating that rebellion and a refusal to respect God's order of authority. Strikes out at the very nature the very being of who God is himself. Some feel that this recognition and submission to God's order of authority.

Some people believe it's an unbearable burden. They believe that if you submit to God's order of authority, you're confessing your own inferiority. If I submit myself to you and God's put you in a place of authority over me.

I submit myself to you. It's as if I'm saying I'm not as smart as you are. I'm not as gifted as you are. I'm not as capable as you are. I'm not as spiritual or as godly as you are. Friends we have to get that idea clean out of our mind.

When you submit to God's order of authority, you're not saying that you're inferior and they are superior not at all. Inferiority or superiority has nothing to do with it. Again I call you back to remember the relationship between God the Father and God the Son.

They are completely equal in their being completely. God the Father isn't any more God than God the Son. God the Son isn't any less God or more God than God the Son. They're each completely equally God in their being.

Yet one in an order of authority takes the place of the Father and one in the order of authority takes the place of Son. Completely equal in their being but different places in the order of authority.

Submission as a Link to the Spirit-Filled Life

So what does this mean then? Submitting to one another in the fear of God. Well, the first thing we should realize is that Paul just didn't write this one isolated verse, you know. Sometimes we think that that the Bible was written almost like Ben Franklin wrote poor Richards almanac.

Where he wrote the little sayings and you know, it's just one pithy little saying after another now, of course. There's some passage scripture like that, right a Proverbs is like that just individual sayings put in there piece by piece.

But but by and large the Bible is written with a flow with a context and you can only understand one statement by understanding What comes before it and what comes after it and this statement submitting to one another in the fear of God.

It's a link. It explains what Paul has been talking about before as being one of the results of being filled with the Spirit. Look at it there in verse 18 of Ephesians chapter 5. There Paul says and do not be drunk with wine in which is dissipation.

Dissipation means wastefulness and my it is a wasteful thing to engage in drunkenness. But Paul's point here is do not be drunk with wine, but look at the end of verse 18, but be filled with the Spirit.

Okay, fine Paul. I want to be filled with the Spirit. So what's next? What's it gonna look like in my life if I'm filled with the Spirit and Paul says I'll tell you look at verse 19. Speaking to one another one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs.

Singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord if you are filled with the Spirit. Your life is going to be filled with a desire to praise and adore God. You will want to praise him. Isn't it wonderful God has given us music.

Beautiful music to help us praise and adore him. You know, even if God wouldn't have given us music to help us praise and adore him We'd still be charged with the responsibility to do it. We'd still have the desire to do it.

It's just we wouldn't be to be able to do it. So well, so beautifully. God loves music and he's given us this beautiful gift. So he says if you're filled with the Spirit, you'll want to praise and adore God, but that's not all look at that verse 20.

If you're filled with the Spirit, you'll have a sense of gratitude to God. It says giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. I mean if you are filled with the Spirit You're going to have a thankful heart towards God and then finally if you're filled with the Spirit, you'll be verse 21.

You'll be submitting to one another in the fear of God. So praise and adoration are a result of being filled with the Spirit. Gratitude is a result of being filled with the Spirit and submitting to one another in the fear of God is a result of being filled with the Spirit.

But I said this statement is a link. Paul doesn't end his discussion here. You see this whole idea of submitting to one another in the fear of God has made Paul want to examine This issue of submission in a larger or at a closer detail.

If you notice here. It's an introduction to a fuller treatment of the principle of submission as it relates to different spheres of life. All of it flows out of an understanding of the Spirit filled life.

Okay, Paul. I'm filled with the Spirit. I'm praising God. I'm adoring God. I'm giving thanks to God and I'm submitting to others in the fear of God and Paul says great. Let me tell you how that works out now.

It's going to work out in your marriage and that's why he begins a discussion following and then in chapter 6 He says it's going to work out between parents and children and then in chapter 6 verse 5 He says it's going to work out on your job.

With your employer and you're the employees you see how practical this how very simple it all flows out of life in the Spirit. It's as if Paul is saying you who are filled with the Spirit. You must sing together and you must submit yourselves to one another and you must behave as follows in these crucial relationships of life.

This is what it means to be filled with the Spirit. You understand where Paul's coming out with this. What does it mean? What does it mean when he says verse 21? Submitting to one another in the fear of God.

Submission Means Being “Under Rank”

Now I wish that somehow up here I had a magic wand and I could instantly Erase in your mind every previous understanding you had of that word submit. Now some of you may have an understanding of that word that that's biblical or close to the biblical understanding of it.

Some of you probably have a very unbiblical understanding or very unbiblical Association with that word submit. I must which is wish as if we were teaching you a brand new language. And our word for today was submit and you said well my what does that word mean?

And I could explain it to you brand new and afresh. No, obviously, I can't do that. But but we can try. Okay, let's let the Bible tell us what this word means in a biblical sense. Well, the word submit or submitting here means something and The word is a military word.

It comes from the word of the army of the Navy the worlds of the military and the word for submission here literally means to be under in rank. It speaks of the way that an army is organized among levels of rank.

You have generals and colonels and majors and captains and sergeants and privates. There's levels of rank and you are obligated to respect those in higher rank. Now we know that a person as a person I should say a private can be smarter.

Can be more talented can be a better person than a general. I mean you take two people. Here's a private and here's a general that the private is a smarter man. The private is more honest man. The private is a more spiritual man.

The private is a more talented man. But at the end of the day, he's still under ranked to the general he is not submitted to the general so much as a person as He is submitted to the general as a general.

In between services the man told me a story of his military experiences and I should say I've never been in the military. But I feel like I'm an authority to speak on it because I've seen a lot of war movies.

And so I feel like I know a lot about the military. Well, no. But this this man was relating how when he was in the military and a jeep would come by. The jeeps that carried officers officers jeeps were designated with a blue stripe.

And he said it didn't matter who was in that jeep. It could be a general. It could be the lowest officer. It could be an officer's wife. It didn't matter and he said the way they refer to it is it said you salute the car.

You said it because it doesn't matter who's in it you salute the car because of the rank. You see the person is is detached from it. You're not submitting to them because of who they are. But because of the order of authority that they have the idea of submission.

Therefore doesn't have anything to do with someone being smarter or better or more talented. It has to do with a God appointed order and When we understand this concern in the military context if this word comes from we understand how important it is to be under rank.

You know in some branches of the military they have a word for it when you no longer want to be under rank they call it mutiny and It's regarded as a very serious issue, isn't it? I mean you have to do what what the people in rank over you tell you to do and Just as an army would be an utter confusion if there were no levels of authority so society.

So the church so our homes would be in chaos without submission. And that is one of the key reasons for the chaos we see in the world around us today. You know in our own armed forces today. There's a person who's in charge over all of our armed forces in our nation.

He's known as the commander-in-chief and that's the president of the United States. Now someone who is an officer in the army or in some branch of the military. May look at the commander-in-chief, and he may not like the commander-in-chief.

He may not respect the commander-in-chief as a person. He may think he's dishonest. He may think he's immoral. He may have a whole set of personal opinions about the commander-in-chief. But nonetheless when that order is given he's going to fulfill it.

He may say to himself I would never have this man in my living room over for dinner because I don't respect him much as a person. But he is the commander-in-chief and I am under rank to him. I will submit to him.

That's the idea of this word submission to be under rank. So when we read there in verse 21 submitting. We know what that means. But then Paul kind of complicates it for us. He complicates it for me because I'm supposed to be teaching you this here this morning says in verse 2 and submitting to one another.

Now you see he's just kind of put a little curve on the ball that he's thrown to us. Let me say first of all what it does not mean to say submitting to one another. It does not mean that there is no order of authority in the body of Christ now.

If this was the only verse on authority in the body of Christ, you might believe that right? You say see Paul saying there is no order of authority you submit to me. I submit to you everybody submits to it.

There's no order of authority among the people of God none whatsoever. You see you would just say well, it says words should be submitting to one another so I submit to you you submit to me. Nobody has any more obligation to submit than anybody else does.

If this was the only passage we have that we might believe that we believe very strongly that the scriptures do not contradict themselves and If Paul meant that by this passage, then he would be clearly contradicting other things that he wrote.

For example in 1st Corinthians chapter 5 verse 1. Why don't we turn there together? Keep your finger here in Ephesians chapter 5 turn in your Bible back to 1st Corinthians chapter 5. You're going to turn left not too many pages.

1st Corinthians chapter 5 beginning at verse 1 the church in Corinth was a church that had a lot of Problems and sometimes Paul to use a phrase from our current way of speaking Paul had to get in their face a little bit and here 1st Corinthians chapter 5 verse 1 we see Paul getting in the face of the Corinthian Christians he says it is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you and such sexual immorality as is not even named among the Gentiles that a man has his father's wife and You are puffed up and have not rather mourned that he who has done this deed might be taken away from among you.

For indeed I as absent in body but present in spirit have already judged as though I were present concerning him who has done this deed in The name of our Lord Jesus Christ when you are gathered together Along with my spirit with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Delivers such a one to Satan for the destruction of his flesh. That his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus. That would be interesting for us to go through and very carefully examine what exactly Paul means brothers.

But I think we get the general impression don't we Paul's bringing down the hammer on these folks, isn't he? He's saying you haven't been acting right. Let me tell you what you must do. You've been far too lenient to this man who had been involved in sexual immorality.

You've been patting yourself on the back for how loving you think you are towards him. You're not being loving at all. You need to put down a standard and call this man to accountability that standard.

This is what you must do. Now could you imagine the Corinthian Christians answering back to Paul something like this. Well Paul. After all you wrote that we should be submitting to one another. So we think you should submit to us on this one.

It wouldn't go very far with it. Paul would say listen, please. I'm an apostle of Jesus Christ. I'm a minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I'm a shepherd in the body of Jesus Christ. This is something that's clearly scriptural you need to submit to what I'm telling you to do here.

Paul was recognized that there was a legitimate order of authority there. So when Paul writes in Ephesians chapter 5 verse 21, he's not saying that there are no orders of authority in the body of Christ.

Another example is Hebrews chapter 13 verse 17, and you don't need to turn there. I'll just read it for you. Hebrews chapter 13 verse 17 part of that verse says Obey those who rule over you and be submissive.

Now again, that's clearly saying that there are orders of authority there's levels of authority that God has put among his people. So whatever Paul means by submitting to one another in the fear of God He does not mean that we erase Any kind of order of authority among God's people whether it be in the church or in the home or anywhere else.

Regard Yourself as Under Rank

Now I admit that this idea of the military word used for submission. It's more easily applied when one rank is above another if you're speaking to a group of privates. It's pretty easy to say submit to the general.

But if you're just addressing privates and say submit to one another and they have to say well, what does that mean? What does it mean that we would submit to one another? You see Paul is not emphasizing in verse 21 the idea of rank because he addresses all Christians.

But there's something very important here. Paul's emphasizing the idea that we should all regard ourselves as being Under rank in the attitude of the military and apply it to our everyday dealing with one another.

In other words when a man joins the military. What's the first thing that they do to him? They strip away his individuality right. They take him to the barber and they give him a haircut. It's not a little haircut.

It's a severe haircut. And as they walk into the barber, they all look different, don't they? Well, here's the man with short hair and here's the man with long hair and here's the man with curly hair and here's the man With straight hair.

That's how they walk into the barber. How do they walk out of the barber in the military? They walk out looking all the same don't they? They don't do that just because there's a shortage of poems among the military.

They do that because they're trying to send a message they're trying to send a message that says you're no longer individuals here. You work together as a unit you're going to be placed in a company in a battalion in a squad you're going to be placed on a team and You need to put the needs and the desires of that team above your own.

Individual needs. You are an individual but there's something greater than your individual miss to coin a word here. There's something greater than that here at work. There's your place on this team. And so when a man joins the army, he's no longer an individual.

You essentially sign away your right to decide what you want to do with your life and what you want to do with your time. When you join the army. Isn't that marvelous? You don't have to set your alarm clock in the army.

They wake you up. You don't have to decide what time do I want to get up today? They decide it for you. You don't have to decide what am I gonna wear today? They help you out with that. What am I going to eat?

Where am I going to eat? They have a place for you to do everything. Your whole day is planned out for you. That's how it is in the military, right? Well an army is filled with individuals, but they can never be Individualistic and you sense the difference in that.

That's how it is in the body of Christ. We're all individuals and glory to God. He's made us different. That's part of the dynamic that God puts in the body of Christ that each member is different. But at the same time we're all on the same team.

We're not individuals. We're part of a team. We can have our individuality, but we must never be Individualistic that is putting our own individual needs our own individual desires first. No, we're part of a team.

Now you see when somebody does not submit they aren't thinking of themselves as part of a team. They're thinking of themselves purely as an individual. Here's the man in the army and he doesn't want to do what the rest of the battalion is doing.

And so the rest of the time is going to go off and do their thing and he says no. There's just one thing making him do that itself. Says I don't want to do what the rest of them are doing. He's thinking of himself more as an individual and less as a member of the group.

Submission in the Body of Christ

The Bible it's filled with so many marvelous illustrations of this principle over and over again. One of the great illustrations of this principle in the Bible is that of a body? You know every cell in your body is different yet.

Every cell in your body is part of a team, isn't it? And every cell works together. Every cell in your body has a DNA code that it shares with other cells and even though it's different even though it has its Own job to do yet.

It's part of a team. Well, no not all the time. Did you know that sometimes in a human body? Cells become individualistic. They say I'm gonna live my own way. I'm gonna do my own thing. I don't really care much about the needs of the body as a whole.

I'm just gonna live my own way do my own thing. Do you know what we call that? We call it cancer. Friends it should never be that way in the body of Christ. So what does all this mean in practical action?

Well, first of all, it means some things that we should not do. What should we not do? Well, the Christian must not be thoughtless, but they must think of others. Right, you need to think and consider others.

You're part of a team. You know in the army and this is one of the great things you love about army movies and army books. There's such a big culture of looking out for your buddy, right? Looking out for the other guy in the company.

There's that whole ethic difference. That's how it should be in the body of Christ, right? We're not thoughtless towards one another but we think about each other. Secondly, we could say that the Christian must not be individualistic.

They must not be self assertive. I didn't say that a Christian must not be assertive. Passiveness is not a spiritual gift. Passiveness is not necessarily submission or godliness not at all. But it's a difference between being assertive and self assertive.

Self assertive means yeah, you're assertive but for selfish purposes. You're assertive to advance your own cause your own comfort your own ways your own promotion. That has no place in the body of Christ.

That's not playing as a team player. No self-assertion is the very opposite of what Paul is saying here. Look at it again verse 21 Submitting to one another and the fear of God could anybody say here that what Paul really meant to say was Assert yourself in the fear of God.

No, he didn't mean to say that at all. Next week must say that the Christian must never be Opinionated now, I didn't say that we shouldn't have opinions. Of course, we should we all have opinions, don't we and it's wonderful.

It's wonderful to have opinions wonderful to share our opinions. But there's a vast difference between having opinions and being opinionated, isn't there? You know, we use this illustration in the first service and why not trot it out again.

There you are. You're you're discussing with somebody and it's your opinion that the best kind of donut is a maple bar. That's your opinion. Now you're discussing with somebody maybe Chuck Carlson and Chuck's an expert in these matters and He's relating on this and he's saying well, you know, my my favorite.

It's a jelly donut. That's that's it. Well, you know you have your bit what you know, you could just say well fine, you know, you think it's maple. I think it's jelly whatever. Then all of a sudden you don't want to let it go right?

No, it's jelly. I'm telling you it's jelly and then you start to bring out the charts. You may look at sales of jelly donuts are higher statistically every year than the sales of maple bars. And and you go on and on see let's survey ten people and see what they that's the difference between having an opinion and being opinionated, isn't it?

Our opinions are fine opinions that help Promote the variety in the body of Christ, but opinionated that's divisive. To be self-conscious and proud of your opinions. No such opinionated people. They always cause strife.

They always cause division in the body of Christ. Guess that the bottom line in what this means we should not do is that we should not be self-seeking. Jesus had a recipe for how we should deal with the self because this is the root of it all, isn't it?

When you get down to the root of all conflict of all contention of all difficulty among believers of all. Difficulty in your marriage of all difficulty on the job. Where are you get all this conflict and bitterness and anger and fighting you can all bring it down to one four-letter word itself.

That's what it is. Now if I'm focused on self and you're walking in the spirit, we might butt heads, right, but it's not gonna be that bad. It'd be a little bit of a combo a little bit of ruffling of the feathers because I'm out for lunch.

But you're walking in the spirit. What happens when I'm Focused on self and you're focused on self then it gets ugly doesn't it? See friends so we can make it all better just by taking care of ourselves.

And and doing what Jesus said that we should do with ourself. What did he say? And any man comes after me. Let him deny himself. Take up his cross and follow me. Deny yourself in my flesh. That's the last thing I want to do in my flesh.

I want to promote myself. I want to stroke the needs of myself. I want to further myself, but no no in the spirit. It's different in the spirit. I should be submitting to one another in the fear of God.

I should say self isn't most important here. What's important is what's good for the body? That's what's important. So you deny yourself? And then what do you do. Jesus had to go on he had explained in vivid detail exactly what this means.

As you take up your cross and follow him. It would almost be easier if we could just put a religious spin on this and Say listen, I know what it means to take up your cross and follow Jesus. What it means actually is that you should.

Well, I'll tell you what. Let's have a service here and we'll make some wooden crosses and then we'll just march around two times. Everybody with a cross around the room and then we could say I took up my cross and I'm following Jesus.

And we'll do it once a year and we'll call it the cross bearing service and we'll fulfill that command of Jesus. But that doesn't fulfill it at all does. You could carry a cross all the way around the world and not take up your cross and follow him in the sense that Jesus men.

Do you know why someone would take up a cross in the ancient world in the days of Jesus? It was never for exercise. You took up a cross because you were a condemned criminal on your way to execution. That was the only reason.

And isn't that almost a cruel twist to put on a condemned criminal? We're going to Torture you to death in one of the most cruel ways thinkable and you need to carry your own instrument of torture to the place of execution as.

That cross weighed on your shoulder. Actually if I could be very specific. More so the custom in the ancient world was they would not carry the vertical beam. They would only carry the horizontal beam the vertical beams stayed at the place of crucifixion.

They just stayed there and when a person was coming to be crucified. They would just carry the horizontal beam and that's what they would be nailed to as they were put on the cross. There you are you're carrying that beam and you know that in a few short hours you're going to hang on that thing and suffer the most excruciating torture there on the cross.