What to NOT Say to a Pastor After His Sermon

Welcome to No Compromise Radio, a ministry coming to you from Bethlehem Bible Church in West Boylston. No Compromise Radio is a program dedicated to the ongoing proclamation of Jesus Christ, based on the theme in Galatians 2, verse 5, where the Apostle Paul said, �But we did not yield in subjection to them for even an hour, so that the truth of the gospel would remain with you.

In short, if you like smooth, watered-down words to make you simply feel good, this show isn�t for you. By purpose, we are first biblical, but we can also be controversial. Stay tuned for the next 25 minutes as we�re called by the Divine Trumpet to summon the troops for the honor and glory of her King.

Here�s our host, Pastor Mike Abendroth.

Encouraging Pastors Through Faithful, Biblical Preaching

Welcome to No Compromise Radio, a ministry. My name is Mike Abendroth, and I am sitting here with a variety of books. What I do here in the studio, well, there�s no studio, what I do here in my study is I have a bunch of books and a bunch of papers, and I just kind of go with the flow sometimes.

I had, when I first started the show, everything measured out exactly, and then now, not so much. I mean, I know what I�m going to talk about generally, and somebody once said, �Yeah, we could tell. There is an email I received with this link.

It must be Tom Rainer, although this doesn�t have any details, so I don�t know whether this is it�s got to be. Ten things you shouldn�t say to your pastor or to a pastor right after the sermon. Ten things church members have told pastors immediately after they�ve preached.

These are the ten that have the most visceral reactions. And so, this is from his blog, 4 -16 -2015. So I thought that might be good, because here�s the thing. At Bethlehem Bible Church, people are kind, usually kind, and nice, usually nice.

It�s nice to be nice, it�s good to be good, and I get treated very well at the church. Many people love me, and I�m glad for that. So what I do, or I try to do with No Compromise Radio throughout the years, I try not to make this a self-serving program to use the airwaves to chase in the congregation that I serve, or get after them, or give them the once-over through the airwaves.

I think that would not be good. But here�s what I do try to do. I try to encourage other pastors and get you, the listener, to encourage your pastors. Now, I think probably some people at Bethlehem Bible Church listen to No Compromise Radio.

As a matter of fact, some people like Spencer, they have to listen to the whole show as they write up the descriptions. So there are people that listen. But many people who listen, probably the majority of listeners that we have across the whole world, the universe.

Did you know Neil Armstrong actually listened to it on the moon? So did Neil Sedaka. Remember when Neil Sedaka put the flag on the moon, and it looked like it�s a windy flag, but there�s no wind on the moon.

So how does that all work? When I first heard Neil Sedaka, I thought maybe, was this a guy or a gal, or who was this? It�s kind of like with the Donkeyshane when Wayne Newton first sang that, or when he sang it and the initial song came out.

Think, okay, is this a man? Is this a woman? What�s going on here? Very high voices. So back on track here. I try to use the show to have you encourage your pastor. Why? Because I know that it�s difficult.

You know, there�s wonderful things in gospel ministry. I understand that. But there are some difficult things. And so I�m not sure you all, the listeners, excluding Bethlehem Bible Church, you all realize some of the pressures.

And so I just want you to try to encourage your pastors. That�s all. That�s all. So whether you�re in New Zealand, Australia, Korea, I get emails from all these places, Dubai, then, you know, if you have a pastor, I want you to ask yourself the question, what should I say to him after a sermon?

What shouldn�t I say to him after a sermon? Now, I don�t think we need to bow down to the pastor. I don�t think we need to say, I�m just going to give him a false compliment. You know, probably the thing that you should say to your pastor as you walk out the door is, I�ve been praying for you.

Or thanks for the message. Thank you for God�s Word today. Something like that. Or just hello. You know, I stand at the door and greet people on the way out, not because I really want them to say much about my sermon.

I know if I blew it. Your pastor knows if it was good in terms of biblical fidelity and delivery. And I want to talk about that before we go any further. There�s kind of two sides to preaching. Two elements would probably be a better term.

And we�ll use Lloyd-Jones as we discuss about this. Discuss this. Discuss about this. I�m just going to blame my public school training. I went to Laura Dodge Elementary. I don�t know who Laura Dodge was.

Must have been some educator, kind of a Nathan Hale type. And then I went to Master�s Elementary School. Had nothing to do with Master�s Seminary, but Master�s Elementary. So then Master�s Seminary too, that�s interesting.

And I went to the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. So, University of Nebraska, the University of Nebraska. So, at Lincoln, U-N-L. There was a University of Nebraska at Omaha, but then I went to the one at Lincoln.

University of Nebraska at Lincoln, Nebraska. So, what we do is we say there�s the biblical content, that�s the light, to use Lloyd-Jones. And then how it�s delivered, that�s the heat. So, if you had to pick one, I know you don�t have to pick one, but if you had to pick one, we should say, Lord, help our pastor to deliver Your Word with gospel fidelity, teaching authorial intent, honoring Your Word.

That�s a good prayer. Father, help our pastor during the studies that he has this week to rightly divide Your Word. That�s 2 Timothy 2, verse 15, isn�t it? Where we, as pastors, don�t want to be ashamed.

Can you imagine? The passage in 2 Timothy that talks about shame, uses shame in a passive voice. What does that mean? Well, let me read you the verse. �Remind them 2 Timothy, �of these things, and charge them before God, not to quarrel about words which does no good, but only ruins the hearers.

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the Word of Truth. And who does the shaming there? Well, it�d be the Lord Himself. It�s His Word, and pastors are to be stewards, faithful stewards.

Gospel workers do their best. They have a� presenting themselves, essentially, as an offering to God and should think their sermon is as well, preaching to the Lord, rightly handling the Word of Truth.

And so, when you pray for your pastor, or even if he bombs in his delivery, but it�s faithful to the Word, you should say, �Thank you, Lord, that you would give me a pastor to do that. And you could even say to the pastor, �Thanks for that message today, biblically accurate or whatever you want to say.

I mean, that kind of sounds dumb, but hey, this is live radio. Is this live radio? I haven�t done live radio for a while. If you are on wretched radio doing it live, it�s hard to do. So, when a pastor is preaching, there�s two aspects.

And of course, we want the priority of light, that is, biblical fidelity, but we�d also like to have him passionately deliver the message. It�s just not lecture the Word. It�s not mime the Word. It�s not drama the Word.

It is to preach the Word, to herald. And so, the herald, by content, it�s good news, and by delivery, it should be good news as well. I have a message from the Lord. You know, it�s kind of like the language where Ehud said to Aglon and Judges, �I have a message from God for you.

And so, then you stand up and you deliver with passion and with enthusiasm. And this is one of the reasons why, for me, the older I get, the more difficult it is. The older I get, the more I appreciate men like John MacArthur, who preached Sunday morning two times and then Sunday night.

But it drains you. You know, when I have a, when I�m counting my calories and using my, what�s the one on My Fitness Pal? Is that it? Yeah. My Fitbit Pal. I put in calories. I decrease them, to be more precise, after I preach two times on Sunday morning.

I�m not going to tell you how many calories I deduct. I don�t deduct enough for me to eat a Ben Jerry�s at the end of the day, although I wish I would for years. And it showed. Ben Jerry�s every Sunday night for just kind of like a �whew, Sunday�s over.

We made it through without, you know, teaching modalism. But now, it�s the 400-calorie soy fake ice cream, something or other. You know, what�s really good are those 100-calorie Slim Bears Klondike bars that are cut thinly, but they�re not full of fake ice cream.

So, they�re the real coating and the real ice cream, but just thinner cut ice cream and thinner, you know, quickly dipped coating. So, anyway, Slim Bears is where it�s at these days. Back to the post.

Ten things you shouldn�t say to a pastor right after his sermon. Number one, these are ten real responses that had the most, according to Tom, visceral reactions. One, I�m going to be late for lunch because you preach so long.

Maybe they should have gone to the early service. That�s maybe one comment. I had lunch at the Shepherd�s Conference last month with Don Kistler, and Don Kistler preached his first sermon. And the man said, I think he�what�s the guy�s name?

He told me his name. I want to say Don, but it�s Don Kistler, maybe John. And you preach too long, he said to him at the door. And Kistler said, I preach too long for who? And then he said, well, for me, of course.

And then Don said, see, that�s the problem, friend. I�m preaching for the Lord Jesus Christ, and I�m quite sure after 40 minutes, he�s not bored hearing his word proclaimed. And I think he said that was the last time he saw that guy.

So, preached so long. What�s a long sermon? I don�t know. When I teach preaching classes, I tell the guys 40 to 45 minutes is what they should preach. Now, when you�re a new preacher, you�re a new pastor, you always think longer sermons are better, more godly, and everything else.

And, you know, you want to be up in the 50, 55-minute range, kind of 55 to 60-minute MacArthur range. And, you know, John can pull it off, but John is John, and John�s been doing it for a long time.

And so I would say for new pastors, you know, if they�re coming into a church where they�re used to having 20-minute sermons, then they should preach 30 and then slowly turn it up to 35. What I usually say to people when I go visit and I�m a visiting pastor, they�ll say, well, you have 30 minutes.

And I say, okay, thank you. You know, I�m a man under authority. And I say, well, if I could keep people�s attention, do you think I could go 35? So, see, that�s my subjective, oh, of course I�m keeping their attention.

And I go 35. But I think at 40, 45 minutes right in there, especially for newer preachers, 42 is what I would say for new preachers. Don�t go any longer than 42 minutes because you�re trying to figure it out.

You�re a neophyte. You�ve probably got too much exegetical data and you�re not, you know, you spent 90 of your, no, 95 of your studies trying to figure out the passage and 5 just how to slap it together, throw it together.

It�s kind of like, you know, you go to a nice restaurant and everything�s laid out wonderfully on the plate. Plating. I didn�t know it was called plating until I saw some Iron Chef show or something. If you don�t get cable TV and you have to just go to Hulu, you just get what you can.

Have to watch a cooking show now. What�s life coming to? The cooking shows. Well, my wife has been going to a cheese tasting class. And so, she said it was about goat cheese last time. I like goat cheese.

It�s good for you. So, what do we do? When we preach too long, we want to hear God�s Word. I mean, isn�t that the time of the service where God is speaking? Yes, through a sinful, frail, fallible, finite preacher.

That�s true. But God has ordained preaching. And so, that�s probably a really bad thing to say. I�m going to be late for lunch. Number two, you must not have had much time to prepare that sermon. Now, I�ve heard before I preach too long, I�ve heard�what have I heard?

Let�s forget this thing. What have I heard over the last 20 years of preaching? I�ve heard I don�t like the color of that tie. I thought they were joking. I didn�t want to say, well, I didn�t like your husband�s tie.

You probably picked that out for him. But see, I get kind of upset if somebody says they don�t like my tie because my kids buy me my ties, right? My wife picks out my ties. So, that�s like a slam on them.

You must not have had much time. Now, I do find it fascinating. If you have a pastor who preaches a sermon, and he�s usually pretty good with his messages, and they�re well-plated, and they�re biblically nutritious, but the segues weren�t really too good, introductions, transitions, illustrations, application.

It was pretty bare bones. It was faithful, Christ-centered, but not too wonderfully developed. I would say that here�s probably what�s happened. You know, he�s a man who�s shown that he�s not lazy, that he�s a worker, that he continues to preach week in and week out.

By the way, if messages take from 10 to 20 hours per sermon to put together, longer, maybe there�s some weeks where there�s a shorter time. But if the pastor really didn�t preach like he normally does, you should probably say this to yourself.

Don�t say you didn�t have much time, but just pray for his studies that he would be able to have more time. But what�s probably happened is there�s been a death, or there�s been some extraordinary circumstance with his own life or a congregant�s life.

And so maybe he�s been to the hospital a bunch of times, and someone is in need, and so that takes some time away. And so you can usually tell. I can tell when I think, oh, I�ve heard that guy preach regularly, and his message wasn�t up to par in terms of the heat and the packaging, if I can use that word reverently, he�s had a rough week.

Avoiding Comparisons, Complaints, and Unhelpful Critiques

Three, my former pastor preached a much better sermon from that text. Now, I�ve been the pastor here, I just finished my 18th year, and I�m very thankful for the people here that would put up with me in spite of my many foibles and frailties.

I think about where the Lord could have sent me, and he sent me here. I really think it�s good of him and gracious of him. And of course, we love to go to Wachusett and ski, and I think of the fall foliage.

So many things here that have just been a blessing in just terms of where we live. Patriots. I usually try to bust people�s chops about the sports teams, but I have switched over to the Patriots. But the people, to respond to the Word of God when it�s not watered down, it�s just been really great.

And so, it�s been a long time since I�ve had to follow someone. So, I did follow a pastor, the pastor who was the pastor before me here. I want to say he was here seven or eight years. And so, maybe they said that, but I just can�t remember.

But I can imagine, you know, my former pastor preached a better sermon. I think these days, here�s the real problem. You can get online and listen to the best preachers in all of the world. I mean, the best anytime you want.

And I mean, I do. I�m on there listening to the best of the best, right? Times too short. So, I listen to Sinclair Ferguson. I listen to S. Lewis Johnson. I listen to Mart Lloyd-Jones. I listen to John MacArthur.

You may disagree with me. Maybe you want to put James Boyce up there as well. But I just listen to those men. And then if I hear anybody else, it�s like it�s a gut check. And so, my internet pastor preaches a better sermon from that text.

By the way, a side note. I don�t know if I�ll ever be asked to preach at Grace Community Church. Translation, I won�t be asked. But it would be a dream. It would be�well, I preached at Grace Community Church, John MacArthur�s pulpit, one time.

It happened to be midnight. And there were two other janitors sitting there when I got up to the pulpit and moved it up and down a little bit to just try it. And I probably said, �Repent, or something.

The kingdom of God is at hand. Making sure I had the imperative and indicative both together. So, while I�m not going to get asked to preach there, if I would, I�d probably say to myself, �Hmm, what passage could I preach that John hasn�t preached

Because they�re going to all sit there and say, �Well, this is how John did it, and this is what the MacArthur study notes say. So, for me, when I study passages, I sometimes either don�t look at the MacArthur study Bible or I don�t look at his commentaries until I�m pretty much all finished, and maybe then Saturday night, just as I�m refreshing the text in my mind through just reading it or reading some other commentaries.

Then I say, �Oh, yeah, that�s interesting. Because I don�t want to just�he already has his stamp, the impressions of his life in my mind and heart anyway, as he was my pastor. Then I don�t need to preach his sermons.

So, I would probably preach an Old Testament passage. I have to be careful because I don�t know if I do a narrative or not, but I would probably do something that was�or maybe something that he preached a long time ago.

He did Hebrews a long time ago, so maybe I�d do Hebrews or something. All right, number four, I look at a Tom Rainer, �Ten things you should not say to your pastor right after the sermon. I wish, fill in the blank, would have heard that sermon.

I wish somebody else would have heard it instead of me. That doesn�t have to be talked about that much. You act like you weren�t feeling well while you preached. What if you were? What if you didn�t feel good, feel well?

When I�m sick and preach, because I think you should not call in sick. You call in sick if you�re the preacher. Especially if you�re a small church, who else is going to do it? But even at a church where there are other trained men, I think you preach when you�re sick.

I mean, there are some kind of intestinal issues that you have that you are not going to be able to preach. But if you�ve got a cold or a headache or the flu or something, you should get up there and preach.

And people will know if you�re sick or not, but you don�t have to say, �I�m really sick because that�s basically saying, �If this sermon�s no good, I�m going to blame it on my sickness. And actually, if truth be told, it seems like when we are the weakest, the message is the most powerful, because that�s just the way the Lord works and the Holy Spirit ministers through weak vessels.

And when I�ve had a hard week and can�t sleep on a Saturday night, thinking about people and issues and circumstances, and then when I�m that tired, then the Spirit of God works through me in a way that if I was all thinking I could do it on my own and in my own self-righteous way and my own self-sufficient way, you know what I�m saying.

Practical Encouragements and Final Advice for Congregants

Number six, I�m sorry I fell asleep while you were preaching. Your voice just puts me to sleep. I�ve never heard that one. Now, I watch people sleep. If it�s too hot in the sanctuary, if you want to say you have a sanctuary, if not, Auditorium area, I watch people sleep.

And then sometimes I�ll just slam my hand down on the pulpit just for fun, raise my voice. I�ll try to do my very best to keep them awake. Because in the old days, it was, �Hey, you should just stay awake.

This is God�s Word. Now I�m trying to help the people. I realize you get tired and you�ve been up all night with the kids, young parents, or students staying up all night, or old people who can�t sleep, and so I want to try to help them.

Seven, your subject-verb agreement was incorrect three times in your sentence, in your sermon, rather. Now, I�ve been corrected for my grammar lots of times, and I�m thankful for that. My first sermon was probably a bomb.

It was at First Baptist Church of Scotts Valley in California. It�s called something different now. But my foster brother-in-law was the pastor, and his mother, my foster mother-in-law, she was there, and she was excellent with her grammar.

And so she gave me a few pointers. I took them. I wish you wouldn�t preach from the Old Testament. Now actually, when someone says they�re going to preach from the Old Testament text, I just get nervous right away.

You know, many people can handle the Old Testament well, but it�s a place to go that if you have no hermeneutical acumen, you can easily go and just make it say whatever you want. And we�ve seen quite a few people in the news these days, in evangelical circles, who do that very thing.

Let me tell you what you missed in your sermon. Well, sometimes when I go back over my notes, I think, �I did miss that, so next week when I do a little review, I�m going to add that in. Or what I do is I could put it in for the second service, second sermon, that type of thing.

And then finally, the number 10 thing you shouldn�t say to a pastor right after a sermon that has been said before. Are we ever going to be done with this sermon series? Oh, now I�m trying to preach through books faster than I used to.

You know, it was kind of 70 messages from Daniel, 70 weeks of Daniel, and 1 Corinthians, many sermons, I don�t know, 80, 90. I�m trying to go a little faster. But how that works out, I�m not really sure.

What you can do is you can pray for your pastor. I hope you would. I hope you encourage your pastor. I�m not asking for Bethlehem Bible Church to do that for me. They�re a very wonderful congregation.

I�m asking for you, if you don�t attend Bethlehem Bible Church, to think through. This is a person. He has sins and faults of his own. He has a life with all kinds of issues to deal with. And then he needs to be the shepherd along with the other elders of all kinds of other people.

And so, if you do have a Bible teaching pastor, you can consider that a gift from the Lord. And you want to try to help the situation and thank the Lord for his gift by praying for the pastor. Maybe you get the sermon you pray for.

That�d probably be something that would be good to think through. Praying for the pastor on the way to church on Sunday morning. You can pray out loud, by the way. And you can pray with your eyes open as you drive and teach your kids that great lesson.

Mike Abendroth, this is NoCompromiseRadio .com.