Anständige Sünde (German) — Corrie Ten Boom

I hope that I don't disappoint some of you that I came to Poland without a koala bear. I was asked twice here in Stuttgart. One asked me where my dog was and the other asked where the koala bear was. But I can say that I left it in Australia.

Yes, I went around the world and I also spoke a lot in prisons. I was once in Hawaii and there was a very beautiful chapel in a prison. They had built the prisons themselves. And also the church service was like this.

One person read the bible, another played the organ and one did advertising. And he wrote on the machine, Koritenbaum, who has been sentenced in Germany, will speak for us today. And I can tell you that everything worked out.

They wanted to get to know their accomplice. And when I was standing in front of the people, I didn't even think about myself. Yes, you were bad boys that you came to prison. I was a good girl that I came to prison.

You stole, but I saved Jews in Holland. I'm much better than everyone else. No, I don't say that and I don't think at all. I know that in God's eyes, decent sins are just as big and guilty as indecent sins.

Decent Sins and the Spirit of Worry

And because I speak for decent people today, I also want to talk a little about decent sins. For example, sorrow. Do you know the spirit of sorrow? I know him. And he always speaks so logically that I always have the danger of believing him.

But the spirit of sorrow is just as a liar as all other demons. It says in the Bible, Don't worry about anything, but in all things let your prayers and supplications come to God with thanksgiving. And the peace of God, which is higher than all reason, keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

I was in Los Angeles a while ago and there was the flu. We know here in Germany what the flu is. It was pretty bad. And I had a secretary there who helped me with my letters. One morning she said, I have a headache.

The spirit of sorrow said, she has the flu. I said to her, you have to stay in bed and don't come outside. Because it is much too cold. I go alone to the university. I can do this without you. If you are good enough, you can start with the letters.

But when I came into the street, I felt a headache. And the spirit of sorrow said, Corrie, you have the flu. My eyes were so strange. And he said, you have the flu in your eyes. I had never heard of it, but I believed him.

When I came to the university, I opened my Bible. I could not read. Now the spirit of sorrow was on the throne. And he said, you have the flu. And think, if you can no longer read, the flu in the eyes, that must be something very bad.

Yes, I can do this work without reading. Go back to my old job, watch. Yes, I can't do that either, if my eyes don't look good. I fear that I will not give these young people a very happy message. Because the spirit of sorrow was in my heart.

At the end of the hour, my secretary came. She said, why didn't you stay at home? It's too cold for you. You could have started with the letters. She said, I can't see through your glasses. I got my own glasses.

I could read again. My headache was gone. The flu from my eyes was gone. And again I saw how stupid the spirit of sorrow is. You know, I have the spirit of sorrow, that the microphone is a little too strong.

And my voice is a little old. Can't I be turned down a little? Can anyone understand me? If someone can't understand me, will you raise your hand? Thank you. You know, now I can say that the spirit of sorrow is stupid and lies.

Casting Worries on the Lord

But in the meantime, what do we have to do with it? Well, I learned that when I was a prisoner in the concentration camp. There I learned to throw my worries on the Lord. I was in Ravensbrück. My sister and I often told the prisoners around us about Lord Jesus.

Many died there. 97 ,000 women died there. But many died with the name of Jesus on their lips. And God needed Betsy and me to tell the people about Jesus. That's why we knew why we had to be there. To be used, to save the souls, the people for eternity, is worth living, suffering and dying.

It was worth Betsy's death. Betsy, my sister, died a week before I was released. But I couldn't understand why the thousands of people around me had to suffer like that. And I once read in Isaiah 53, where the prophet sees Jesus at the cross in the future.

And where he says, it is fulfilled. And the prophet said it truthfully. He bore our worries. And I suddenly understood. If we know Jesus, then we are not called to be a carrier of worries. Yes, a carrier of the cross and a carrier of light.

But we have to throw our worries on the Lord in prayer. And I did that. And I can tell you, often I brought a heavy suitcase full of worries to the Lord in prayer. And then I unpacked my suitcase. And I said, Lord, here are the poor people around me.

This morning there were 800 new arrivals. Oh Lord, what terrible suffering awaited these women. And then I brought Berlin to the Lord. Although Berlin was 100 kilometers away, we could often see the red air of the flames.

Berlin was attacked. Oh, what a suffering. Then I brought all these cities of Germany, which are being attacked. And then my poor fatherland, Holland, which had to ride like this. And my sister, who was far too weak to be a prisoner.

And when I unpacked my whole suitcase and brought all the worries to the Lord, then I said Amen. My suitcase was empty. I had thrown all my worries on the Lord. That was good. But what I did after my Amen was not good.

Then I packed everything back in my suitcase. And my suitcase was heavier after my prayer than before. Was that praying? No. Praying means throwing all your worries on the Lord and packing an empty suitcase.

Cleansing from Sin

You know, I am now talking about decent sins. And I know that there are many decent people who do not care so much about their sins. We are not worse than the people around us. A pastor once said to me, my finger is black from sin, but it points to Jesus.

I said, Mr. Pastor, what do you do with your little boy when he comes to the dining room with black fingers? Then you say, boy, is there no more water and soap in the bathroom? And now go and wash your hands.

Is there no more the blood of Jesus that cleanses us from all sins that we confess? That is written in the Bible. When we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive our sins. And the blood of Jesus cleanses us from all sins.

Yes, you say, but that is a very good and clean theology. But I don't believe that. Maybe it is clearer when I tell you about the pocket thief from America. He said, I have always stolen about 50 to 60 watches every month.

But now I am the other way around. I am a Christian. Now I steal only 3 to 5 watches. Yes, those are the black fingers. Yes, we all understand that. You don't steal. You don't steal when you are a Christian.

Go and sin no more, says Jesus. No, no black fingers. No stealing of watches. No decent sins. Yes, you say, but is that possible? Can I really live so well that I don't have black fingers anymore? Can I really be so honest that I don't steal watches anymore?

Oh, I don't know if you have tried to be good. I have tried, but I have not had much success. Some time ago I was in a prison in New Zealand. These are the boys, who are called half-strong here. And I was very happy that I could work there a lot.

One evening I was able to speak with 8 of these boys for 3 hours. We were sitting around a table. There was no supervisor. And we were able to speak from heart to heart. When I spoke with them, I said, boys, now I want to know if you don't want to make a decision.

You have now heard from Jesus. Jesus loves you and he wants to make your decision. And then they wrote down, six, Jesus as my redeemer, accepted. One wrote, complete commitment. And one, undecided. I said, why are you undecided?

Imagine that you were drowning, and that I saved you from the danger of my life. Would you be undecided to say, thank you, Corrie, that you saved me? That would be the least that I could expect from you.

And now Jesus has carried your punishment on the cross. Would you be undecided to say, thank you, Lord Jesus, that you did this? That would be the least that I could expect from you. The boy said, you don't understand me.

I did this. I thanked Jesus, because I believe it. But I have tried so many times, really tried, to live the Christian life, and I can't afford it. Now I am undecided whether I want to try it again. And the boy who sat next to him, also a prisoner, he said, boy, that was just like me.

And I actually wanted to throw all my beliefs overboard. And then I read Romans 7. I thought, oh, you mean Romans 8? But he had already opened his Bible, and said, comrade, listen to what Paul says. Do you know who Paul was?

The great missionary. The first missionary in the world. The man who wrote many of these beautiful letters. A hero of God. Now listen, comrade, to what he says. The good that I want, I don't do. The bad that I don't want, I do.

There is hope for us, boy, when Paul says this after his return. But, he says, listen to what Paul says even more. And then he reads, I thank my God for the victory of my Lord Jesus Christ. Boy, it is not trying, it is giving yourself to Jesus.

And then I say to him, boy, when I try to let this stick stand on my hand, do you think I am wrong? We all know that it is not the nature of a stick to stand. But I can let it stand on my finger. Now it stands.

Very solid. Why? Because my hand holds it. We cannot be good. Our sinful nature and the devil are far too strong for us. But when we give ourselves to the wounded hands of Jesus, his hand that does not let go, his hand holds us tight.

Then the boy says, I want to decide for Jesus. Yes, even when I speak of the decent sins, do not think that you are strong enough to defeat them. But Jesus is the winner. And he wants to hold us very close to his heart.

Loving Enemies Through Christ

So, the Bible is quite strict. The Bible does not speak of decent and indecent sins. For example, the Lord Jesus says, we must love our enemies. Do you know that? I cannot. But Jesus can. Ten years ago I was here in Germany.

And a woman gave me a letter from her son. He came from Holland. From a prison. Her son was one of the very cruel detainees during the war in a prison in Holland. And now he was convicted of being in the same prison for 18 years where he committed his cruelty.

But he wrote to his mother, Although I am here, I am happy. I have accepted Jesus as my salvation. I have brought him all my sins. And I have read in the Bible that he threw them into the depths of the sea, forgiven and forgotten.

When I read this letter, I said, I want to do something for this young man. If he has Jesus, he will not be cruel anymore. I will write to my queen if she does not want to give him amnesty. But before I wrote to my queen, I visited him.

He was in the same prison where Betsy, my sister and I were before we were sent to Ravensbrück. I saw the place where we both stood waiting to be shot. It was not true. It was just an attempt to break our nerves.

He said, now you have to be shot. Later we were sent back to our cells. But you can imagine how I felt to be in this cruel place again. And now I came into a cell. And there was Ernst Weike, my supervisor.

And now he was a prisoner and I was free. And I said to Ernst, I come to tell you, I come to bring you the greetings of your parents. Oh, what did he say? Have you seen them? He said, yes, I just came from Germany.

He began to cry. And he said, how is my mother? I said, good. She is so happy that you have made a decision for Jesus. And then I told him about the visit to his parents. And then I said to him, Ernst, I was in the same prison.

Yes, what? When? I said, in 1944. Then he became pale and said, then we know each other. I said, yes, we know each other. And at that moment, Ernst and I saw again in our memory all the cruelty he had done against me and against my sister and the other prisoners.

But the next moment he said, how glad I am that I am free from my sins. Then a dark thought came to me. Is it so easy? Are you free from your sins? But meanwhile my old father, my brother, my sister, your nephew and many of my friends have been killed by your cruelty and the cruelty of your comrades and now you are free from your sins.

Is it so easy? Then I said to myself, what have I done? Jesus has thrown his sins into the depths of the sea, forgiven and forgotten. And wasn't I busy picking them up again? I could only pray, forgive me, Father, in the name of Jesus, that I could not forgive and forget, that I could not love my enemies.

And then I prayed, O Lord Jesus, hold me very close to your heart, that I love my enemies, that your love is my love. I had not said a word, but then I spoke and said, Are you really serious? You are free from your sins, because Jesus has brought everything on the cross to bear the sins of the whole world, also yours and my sins.

And seriously, I want to tell you something. I want to write to my queen if she does not want to give you amnesty. And I did. But there in the cell I learned the greatest lesson in my life, that when Jesus tells us to love our enemies, then he gives us the love he demands of us.

Love for loved ones is good. Love for neighbors is better. Love for enemies is best. I can not do it, but Jesus can. I have here a piece of Denmark. Do you think that if I try to float it on water, that I will succeed?

Of course not. We all know that by the law of gravity it falls down. But I can float this piece of Denmark if I connect it with this piece of wood. Now I can float. The law of gravity is just as strong as before.

But there is another law that makes the wood float. And this law is stronger than the law of gravity. Do you know what I mean? This piece of money is me. My sinful nature. And the devil makes me sin again and again.

He makes me hate my enemies. But this is Jesus. When I am connected with him who prayed at the cross, Father, forgive me. Forgive them. They do not know what they are doing. When I am connected with such a person, then I can love my enemies.

Can you forgive and forget the man who stole the love of your wife, the woman who stole the love of your husband, the man who through his dishonest competition is destroying your business, the one who stole your good name by talking behind your back.

There are people who would not steal money, but they are often ashamed to steal a good name. And this is much worse. Can you love and forgive such a person? I can not, but Jesus can. And bring it to him and he will give you the love.

Yes, I can not love the enemies, but Jesus in me. Ah, in my heart there is often such a decent sin as justice. So quickly you can think, ah, I am better than the other people there. I will not forget when I was for the first time in America, in California, in the Hollywood Christian Club.

Humility and Spiritual Discouragement

This is a group of Hollywood stars who come together every week to read the Bible. The second week they go together to other Hollywood stars and then as a team they read the gospel to their colleagues.

It was very strange for me that I heard of Hollywood stars who were Christians. And I have to confess to you that I did not expect much. Especially when I came into the room and all the people, there were not so many, there were only 14 people.

And not one was sitting on a chair. They were lying on the floor for so long or were sitting there with their legs crossed. And a young man, about half my age, said, Hi Corrie, glad to meet you. Yes, I thought, it is only good that I come here.

Now I can tell this pagan something. But she said, I can tell you, I was sitting on a chair. But I was the only one. And when I wanted to start my message, one said, no wait Corrie, we want to pray first.

And then they all went on their knees and they prayed. And how? Yes, then I became very small. How did these people pray? As children of God, who loved their homeland. Oh no, it was not so in the language of Canaan.

Do you know what I mean? They prayed as if they were on the phone. But it was so honest. And it was so full of love for the Lord Jesus. It warmed my heart. And I can tell you, I started much more humble.

And together with these children of God, we heard what the Lord had to say to us. I have been to this group three times. No, four times. The second time, when I came back after two years, there were 50 people.

And the last time, five years ago, there were 150. No, they did not all become film stars. Different people said goodbye to their work. And the work that gave them so much money, they withdrew and went to a Bible school.

And in America, you do not know how to save money. And different people had to work to pay for their studies. And they are now pastors, missionaries, evangelists. But many are still film stars. And they stay there and work among their colleagues.

With a group of Christians, I went to the house of very famous film stars. Once at Jane Russell. And there I spoke and gave my testimony to many people who had never heard the Gospel. Yes, the righteous spirit is often a decent sin in the hearts of children of God.

Do you know discouragement? That is also a sin. Yes? Yes, it is also a sin. I was in the concentration camp and suddenly a Catholic girl came to me and said, Corrie, you are discouraged. She said, no wonder.

And he told her everything that I had done. And she said, that is a sin. I said, is that? Yes, she said. I was in a nun school at the time and a nun taught me that discouragement was a sin. And I also saw it in the Bible.

Here in the Bible it says, have always good courage. Now, if there is a commandment in the Bible, these are not just advices. A commandment in the Bible is a commandment. And if the Bible says, have good courage and you are discouraged, then you sin.

Trusting God as Provider

I will not forget that I was in Formosa and a Catholic girl came for a flight trip. I was told, I think it was about ten years ago, Corrie, there is something with the money here, that everything you buy here with American money, you get much more than in another country.

Now you have to solve your flight ticket here. Well, that was something nice. But the terrible thing was that I did not have a penny. I felt a bit like a housewife who sees house sales everywhere. And what is it called, last winter offer or something.

And then she did not have a penny. Oh, if she only had money, then she could buy all the dishes she needed. Oh, then it is actually very hard when you see all the cheap things that were offered. Now I was not afraid of my flight ticket.

But it was worse that the next day I had to go by train and I also had no money for the ticket. And I had to pay for my room and I had no money for my room. Now you can read in my book, Many Questions, Only One Answer, that God made it very clear to me that he is my treasure.

And that I never have to come to people when I need money. People can give me money when they want it and when others tell it, but I am not allowed to do it. And I can tell you that God is a very good treasurer and very rich.

It says in the Bible, He has the cattle on a thousand mountains. Well, when I need money, then I often say to my Heavenly Father, I think that you have to sell a cow from the cattle on the thousand mountains and give me the money.

And he always does it. He lets me wait a little from time to time to prove my faith. And so it was in Formosa. There I said, Lord, now I believe that I tell my friends that I have no money for tomorrow.

And the Lord said very clearly, Trust me. I have no great faith, but I have a faith in a great God. And I went to my work in great confidence and I knew I could trust Him. And in the evening there was my mail.

And I opened 26 letters. Ah, my mail is often a problem, especially in Germany, because Germans write very long letters. Yes, they often have to wait until I have time to read them. So think about it, if you write me a letter, not too long.

But I didn't have time to just look at these letters. But one I opened, and there was a check of 150 American dollars. Now I had my money for the train ticket and for my room and a flight ticket to Hong Kong.

The next day I opened more letters and people had given me a Christmas present in America. And I had so much money that I could solve a flight ticket. I went to the office and said, Miss, do you want to sign this?

I need a ticket from here to Hong Kong, to Auckland, New Zealand, to Sydney, Australia, to Cape Town, South Africa, to Tel Aviv, Israel, and Amsterdam, Holland. And she wrote it all down and said, what is your destination?

I said, the sky. She asked, how do you spell that? I said, I spell it, H-E-A-V-E-N, Heaven. And she wrote down Heaven. She said, I didn't mean that. I said, but I meant it. But you don't have to sign it.

I already have my ticket. What do you mean? I said, about 2 ,000 years ago someone bought my ticket for Heaven. And the only thing I had to do was to take it from him. And then a Chinese man came and said, is that true, Miss?

I said, do you have your ticket for Heaven? Your reservation? He said, yes. I took Jesus from my homeland and he made me a child of God. And a child of God has a place in the house with the many apartments where Jesus prepares one for us.

I said, brother, come here. He said, Miss, if you don't have a ticket for a plane, you can get into big trouble if you are too late. But if you don't have a ticket for Heaven, you get into big trouble.

And you have to be sure that you are not too late. Was that a joke? No. I meant it. And I mean it when I ask you, do you have a ticket for Heaven? And if you don't have it, then I invite you to pick up the ticket this evening.

Because it is ready. I got my ticket. Then the friend changed the whole journey. She went to Sydney, Tel Aviv, Israel, Cape Town, Africa, Amsterdam, Holland. I took the phone and said, yes, Miss, you are not allowed to change my journey.

I go here, I always travel on behalf of my master. And he said, where I have to go, that is God. And don't you have the right to change the route? Oh, she said, but Miss, that is impossible. There is no direct route from Sydney to Africa.

There is no island in the Indian Ocean. I said, then we have to pray for an island in the Indian Ocean. But when God tells me that I first have to go to Cape Town and then to Tel Aviv, then you will make sure that it is also possible.

An hour later she called me again. Miss, did you pray for an island in the Indian Ocean? I said, why? She said, the Qantas bought the coconut island. And now he has a direct route from Australia to Africa.

I said, thank you. But she said, it will take four days. And that is quite long. First they stay one day in the coconut island, and then one day in Mauritius. So I put all my things that I needed in the four days in a small suitcase.

I don't have so many earthly riches, but for example my diyas, my photos, and then not to forget my notebooks, my writings. This is my library. I can't go with books. That's why I have to write everything down.

I can only travel with 20 kilos in a plane. So I put them in my small suitcase. When I went to the plane in Australia, the pilot saw me and said, I will wear this for you. I said, yes, but I want to keep it with me.

You will find it on your chair. But I didn't find it on my chair. And the stewardess said, I will immediately look for it for you, but we have to get on now. But she didn't find it. She said, in Melbourne I will get your suitcase.

Of course it arrived in the big room with the big luggage. But in Melbourne a man came to me and said, are you a friend of Corrie ten Boom? Yes. Oh, I'm very sorry, but there is a small suitcase in Sydney with the name of Corrie ten Boom on it.

Oh. That was terrible. And everything was in it. My money and my papers and everything I needed, all my worldly riches, my Bible. Yes, I was quite angry. Now I had spoken to this stewardess about the Lord Jesus.

So I couldn't really show that I was angry. That wouldn't be a good advertisement for a Christian to say something sharp. So I swallowed my anger. And I said, oh well, that will be good for something.

Was that selfish? No. It would have been selfish if I hadn't been evil. To swallow it, that's not selfish, that's defeat. In the evening we went up again. And I slept a little. Suddenly I smelled fire.

Fear, Witness, and Readiness for Eternity

Oh, that's not nice at all to notice that there is a fire when you live in such a small house, such an airplane, and underneath you is the Indian Ocean. I looked around and not one could sleep. Everyone was awake.

It was interesting to see how people reacted. All the ladies were busy coloring their lips. I said to the woman who was sitting next to me, do you think it's so important to come into eternity with red lips or pale lips?

What do you think? She said, well, we all know that we are in danger of death. Yes, she said, I know that, but I don't feel so undressed when we are so pale. Yes. And now I wanted to tell you and then I got up.

And I said, men, maybe another ten minutes, maybe half an hour. And then we have to die. Are you ready? Are you right with God? There was a murderer at the cross who took Jesus as his salvation And he died as a child of God.

There is still time for grace. Yes, I wanted to tell you that, but I can't. Because I didn't do it. In my heart there was human fear. I was ashamed to witness that moment of my Lord. The stewardess came to me and said, I have a happy message for you.

We are going back to Sydney to get your little suitcase. I said, are we in great danger? Oh no, she said, we only have a little hydraulic difficulties. I didn't know what it was. But to encourage us, but it wasn't very encouraging, the pilot said every five minutes we will have a normal landing.

Well, if he said that every five minutes, that's not very encouraging. And we didn't have a normal landing. But we all got out well and now we had to wait. Three days. We had nothing to do and every man was talking to every man.

And a Jewish priest came to me and said, Fr. Bohm, can I ask you something? Yes. Do you know fear? I said, yes. Why? He said, I studied your face all night and you didn't have a moment of fear. What is your secret?

I said, that is no secret. What God did for me, he can do for you too. I am a Christian. I met Jesus from my homeland. He died for me at the cross. He made me a child of God. I brought my sins to him and he purified my heart with his blood.

When he died at the cross, he carried the sins of the whole world, including mine. And he also said, I am with you all the days until the end of the world. And when tonight fear came to my heart, I just said, Fr. Jesus, hold me tight.

This man came to me five times and said every time, tell me more about Jesus. I have to tell you, when I was in this hotel, courage came into my heart. I said, Sir, I cannot be used as a missionary. Sir, I have stood with 40 people for the gate of eternity.

And I was too stupid and too ashamed to bring this roaring fish to you. Sir, I am not worthy to be a missionary. Send me back to my homeland. Maybe I am good enough for that, but I am not worthy. Have you been so discouraged when you have not seen your own ability?

And now this man came and said, tell me about Jesus. You know, when you want to become something in the world, then you have to pass all your exams. Because the world asks, how many diplomas do you have?

But when you have to be used by the Lord Jesus, then you have to pass your exams. And when you say, Sir, I am not worthy, then Jesus says, now I can use you. Because it is I who will do it in you. Are you discouraged?

Bring it to the Lord. Yes. How do I know all these things? I have a book. Which book? A book full of prophecies, 17 ,000. And in this book I can learn how to become a child of God and how to go through the world like a royal child, a child of God.

This is not a question of feeling. I was in New Zealand and worked there with a team, with Edwin Orr. Dr. Edwin Orr is a great preacher of the world who has worked in 140 countries, I only in 30. Now there was so much work that we could not stay together, but everyone worked in different cities.

I had a week to work in Thames. Then came a week of holidays. But Edwin Orr wrote, there is an awakening here in Dargaville. You want me to stay longer, but I can't stay longer. Monday I have to go to another city.

You have to come, Sunday you have to speak in Thames, Monday here in Dargaville. That's where my holidays went. But I was happy. But I found out that to get to Dargaville I had to drive about 9 hours in a car.

Now the roads in New Zealand are such rainstorm roads. And if you drive 9 hours in such a car, on such roads, then you are tired. At least I was. I was young for a long time. When I was young, I thought, no, I can't do that.

I have to have a conversation with my heavenly father. And I said, heavenly father, you know that I can't go by car. I think the only way, God, is that you give me a plane. Then I won't be so tired. And our problems are the material for God's miracles.

In the evening a man came to me and said, is it true that you have to speak in Dargaville on Monday, and here on Sunday? I said, yes, that's true. How do you get there? He said, by plane. What did he say?

There is no airline in Dargaville. I said, I know that. But God knows that I don't have to go by car. And I prayed that the Lord would give me an airline. And our problems are the material for God's miracles.

And if we want to have a great miracle, we have to give God our impossibilities. He said, that's strange. I work in a company where we spread fertilizer. And we do that from small planes. The fields are so big there.

And now my boss is a Christian. And he said, if it's true that Corrie has to be in Dargaville on Monday, then she can use one of our planes. I said, thank you, Father. Yes, he said. But he also said, the pilot has fallen back.

He was a Christian, but he doesn't want to believe anymore. And now the boss is praying that you will save the pilot during the flight. I didn't know what to do. And I had in my hand my Bible, when I got on the smallest plane that I had ever seen.

I was very close to the pilot. And we could really have a conversation. Then he told me his reasons. He said, I can't believe in a God of love, that he allowed my wife to die. I have four little children.

No, no, I don't want to believe anymore. Then I told him my reasons. I told him, in my heart was the reason. Why does my 84-year-old father have to die alone in a prison? All his children were in the same building.