Tulsa 2000 - Part 1 — Art Katz

Well, sorry to disappoint your expectancy, but I'm without inspiration, kind of drained and discombobulated thanks to American Airlines' Eagle shuttle, where we were brought out twice to the plane and brought back again to the terminal.

For some petty, I don't know what it was, and the second time they had fixed it, but then the stewardess was not aboard, and then the third time we finally made it. So I thought, getting up around four this morning, well, I'll come early, and I'll have a few hours to rest and gather my thoughts and be before the Lord and not come directly into an expectant audience, but so be it.

So what do you think I've been reading today? I couldn't read anything serious because I'm hazy from the lack of sleep, don't want to even look into serious things that I had with me, but instead I stumbled upon two copies of The New Yorker.

Who knows The New Yorker magazine? I'm going to get a subscription. Sublime. Not spiritual, but aesthetic, intellectual, and I thought I envied the perspicacity of these writers. Remarkable. Would to God we had such facility.

And one of the magazines are two articles about Jewish writers and intellectuals. Have you ever heard the name Lionel Trilling? See how alone I am in the world? He died of 1975. He was considered one of America's great literary critics and a novelist, poet, and writer, a Jew from New York, taught at Columbia University.

So someone has come out with a biography, and the woman who's reviewing it is herself Jewish and was one of his students, and talk about astute and insightful remarks and precision of language. So that's what's been going into me today.

Rosh Hashanah, Jewish Identity, and Spiritual Longing

But what is today? Friday, the Shabbat, and the commencement of Rosh Hashanah. Everybody know that? The Days of Awe. So there'll be a trumpet, a shofar sounded, and it begins the ten days in which Jews are to reflect on their moral, spiritual condition.

Would to God that they would. And so interesting that our schedule dovetails with that, and I'm reading about Jewish intellectuals and lost men, lost souls. But in their lostness, there's something very precious I can, I ache, I can identify.

It bears some resonance of my own earlier struggle that finally led me to the Lord. Something, I don't know what it is, whether it's a New York upbringing or a Jewish New York upbringing, or coming of age at the end of World War II and the statistics of the Holocaust, living in the city of eight million.

All of these factors come together to affect Jewish personalities like my own. So I can quote you from those magazines. We can go off in some direction. I can move you to envy with the excellence of language.

Here are unsaved people, but the faculty that they have in analyzing, critiquing, examining the depth of personality, the literature, the output, the man, the dilemma, the frustration of the life was just remarkable.

So let me pray. Again, Lord, so often when I stumble on something and you allow something to come into my thought and into my preoccupation, you draw from it. And if not tonight, perhaps tomorrow. Or if not in these days, some future time.

But let us not miss, my God, anything that you want to employ. You can take the back of a ketchup label and send us into directions, my God, that are so remarkably profound we would be left stuttering.

Or is it what you had me look at, my God, earlier this morning in Hosea? Or something else that you would yet quicken? So we invite you, my God, to be the Lord of this time, from the commencement tonight and through our time together, the Alpha and the Omega of this time, to bring forth a beginning, my God, that is in keeping with the end that is already in your heart.

You know the need, my God, of these whom you have assembled, these sons and daughters, and the occasion, my God, that you have given us together. God forbid that I should humanly, my God, miss it or go off in a tangent or direction that engages my own delight or curiosity and is not where your heart is.

Or to miss it because it's not out of the Bible but from a magazine, and yet that was the source that we should be examining. So, Lord, we're betwixt and between, our usual dilemma, and we look to you.

Come and be the Lord and satisfy and delight your own soul, and whatever delights you will delight us. And we thank you for that, Lord, now in Jesus' name. Amen. Well, I did look at something this morning out of Hosea that came out of my devotional reading.

I thought it lends itself to an appropriate message for Jews on Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur season, and why I would be speaking it to believers, maybe to stir your heart for them, and because of our identification with them, it may have some value.

You want to turn with me to Hosea, chapters 13 and 14, and we'll just examine the kinds of things that I was considering earlier in this day. Chapter 13, Lord, ruminating, and there's a real note of sorrow in the history of His people with Him.

I have been the Lord your God ever since the land of Egypt. You know no God but me, and beside me there is no Savior. It was I who fed you in the wilderness in the land of drought. When I fed them, they were satisfied, they were satisfied, and their heart was proud.

Therefore they forgot me. So I will become like a lion to them, like a leopard, I will lurk beside the way. I will fall upon them like a bear robbed of her cubs, and will tear open the covering of their heart.

There I will devour them like a lion, as a wild animal would mangle them. I will destroy you, O Israel, and who can help you? Where is now your king that he may save you? Where in all your cities are your rulers of whom you said, Give me a king and rulers?

I gave you a king in my anger, and I took him away in my wrath. Ephraim's iniquity is bound up, his sin is kept in store. The pangs of childbirth come for him, but he is an unwise son, for at the proper time he does not present himself at the mouth of the womb.

Shall I ransom them from the power of Sheol? Shall I redeem them from death? O death, where are your plagues? O Sheol, where is your destruction? Compassion is hidden from my eyes. Although he may flourish among rushes, the east wind shall come, a blast from the Lord, rising from the wilderness, and his fountain shall dry up.

His spring shall be parched, it shall strip his treasury of every precious thing. Samaria shall bear her guilt, because she has rebelled against her God. They shall fall by the sword. Their little ones shall be dashed in pieces, and their pregnant women ripped open.

Well, fierce, relentless text, and one that has been fulfilled more than once in Israel's history, and will yet again be their experience before the age ends. Remarkable poetry. It's just a delight, in a sense, to read the flow of this, and to be reminded of a perennial, perpetual condition that yet is in the nature of this people.

The iniquity is bound up. His sin is kept in store. So even when there's a time of birthing, Israel is unwilling to come forth, resist even the coming into the newness of the things of God's intention of a millennial way, and will have to be brought in through forceps and force, as we'll probably have occasion in these days to speak in one way or another, or you've heard from me in tapes.

Israel’s Judgment, Exile, and the Call to Return

I think what arrested my attention this morning, and is in keeping with reading of these Jewish intellectuals, one was this Lionel Trilling, the other was a Romanian Jew of whom I'd never heard before, who lived through the World War II time, and was saved from having to go to the concentration camp.

And so someone has translated his journal, his diary, right up through the war years, and then he dies. At the end there's a little italic at the end of the selection from his journal, killed by being hit by a truck in the streets of Bucharest right after the war.

So the poor soul who was a playwright, though he survived, Hitler did not survive the loss of his life through violence anyway. And both lives are so sad as these impassioned Jewish lives invariably are.

Although he may flourish among rushes, the east wind shall come, a blast from the Lord, rising from the wilderness, and his fountain shall dry up, his spring shall be parched, it shall strip his treasury of every precious thing.

What a remarkable way for the Lord to sum up what we have experienced in our history, in places of our diaspora, our exile, that though we have prospered for a season, there's invariably a time when the east wind comes, and something issues out of the wilderness, out of the wilderness of Nazi Germany, or out of the wilderness of an anti-Semitism of a time of Jacob's Trouble that is future and already brewing, but it dries everything up, and what we had enjoyed is suddenly removed, and our treasury is stripped of every precious thing.

You would think we would learn. So the cry of God in poetically expressing what has been our history all through these generations is sounded in verse 14. Return, O Israel, to the Lord your God, for you have stumbled because of your iniquity.

Take words with you and return to the Lord, and say to him, Take away all guilt, except that which is good, and we will offer the fruit of our lips, Assyria or any dependency on alliance with any power shall not save us.

We will not ride upon horses, or employ technology, or armament, or the IDF, or the world's number one air force, or nuclear capability. We will say no more, our God, to the work of our hands, in you the orphan finds mercy.

This is a remarkable text for Yom Kippur. Would to God that rabbis would be reading it and expounding from it. Because there's very little, if any, consciousness that there's any necessity to take words to God.

And that the calamities that we have suffered and will suffer have somehow to do because of our iniquity. Despite that, and God yet waiting for this kind of contrition, the Lord himself will extend mercy.

In verse 4, I will heal their disloyalty, I will love them freely, for my anger has turned from them. I will be like the dew to Israel, he shall blossom like the lily, he shall strike root like the forest of Lebanon, his shoot shall spread out, his beauty shall be like the olive tree, and his fragrance like that of Lebanon.

They shall again live beneath my shadow, they shall flourish as a garden, they shall blossom like the vine, their fragrance shall be like the wine of Lebanon. Pretty hard to reconcile that picture of Israel's millennial place in glory with God and to the nations, with they shall fall by the sword, their little ones shall be dashed in pieces, and their pregnant women ripped open.

This is a day of discombobulation for me, both physically, naturally, in the word, in the articles that I'm reading from, the magazines that I've picked up, and this text that the Lord has quickened this morning.

Am I appealing for your sympathy? Or something? But just to enter into this thing that's in my innards appropriately at the commencement of this Rosh Hashanah Yom Kippur season. I'm going from here, you know, to the Oklahoma State University at Silwater, and the precious couple who are inviting me are faculty members.

They'll be here tomorrow. And they have Jewish colleagues on the faculty. I'm sure there's a B 'nai B 'rith chapter on the faculty. I'm sure there are Orthodox Jews to be found there, and also numbers of foreign students.

And they foolishly are advertising me as a Jewish prophet. And they wrote me that in an e-mail letter, and I wanted to answer and say, I don't think that that's the right way to describe me before Orthodox or secular Jews.

To whatever degree it's true, they'll not know how to understand that. It's going to antagonize them. And I never got around to stopping them. I don't know what happened. A distracting phone call, something else took my attention.

I forgot it, and now it's too late. The fat is in the fire. I'm sure that it's done, and I can just see my kinsmen rubbing their hands in glee in anticipation of this freak, this cop-out, this... I'm trying to think of dastardly words.

Mishumad is the Hebrew word for traitor. So why would a Jew do this and flagrantly come before Jews that are either pious or sincere in their ethical sensitivities and try to make of them Christians? Such a man, the only motive that can be understood, he's being paid for it.

He's a flunky, a paid missionary sent out by this notorious right-wing evangelical church to do its dirty business with Jews. And to use a word like Jewish prophet, first of all, I'm not even considered a Jew anymore.

And then the word prophet is calculated to offend and to rub them raw. And yet this is a word that they need prophetically to hear. Maybe in the wisdom of God, you're preceding, my time with you precedes them so that you will come under the burden of this once and for all outreach for which we have been praying fervently at home.

Jewish and other life is at stake. I have to bring to them a world view, a perspective of reality that is completely at odds with everything that they have learned to respect and to value. If the Lord gives me grace and the appropriate anointing, it has got to turn their world upside down.

Whether they are secular and atheistic or orthodox and pious, they will equally be upturned because the way of the Lord is so at odds, so opposed to their either religious or secular understanding. And it's a once and for all time.

It will be a week from tomorrow on a Saturday night, this public meeting at campus. So I pray that you'll come under the burden of that and wouldn't it be something if this is the very text that the Lord is to employ.

And this morning was the first sounding. To get something into my spirit, both of the severity of God's judgment, the cause of that judgment, the cry of God calling Israel to repentance and to return and then a flicker and suggestion of what that return will mean not only for Israel but for the nations when Israel shall fill the world with its fruit and its fragrance shall go out in every place.

So help me to exegete this portion of the prophets and to draw out from it. I was on TV last night in Odessa, Midland, Texas. What an arid place. And coming down by looking over this parched piece of geography and having been once before with the same Christian television station now moved to a new location, I don't know how and why, they called upon me after about a seven-year lapse.

But I found out that somehow that one visit was so pregnant and so consequential and I wasn't even aware that there was any impact to speak of not only in the televised interview then and last night but also in personal private contact with the people that are at that station.

I'm learning now, seven years later, life was changed. Something was set in motion. Something was profoundly touched and affected. The man who came this morning and drove me to the airport was one of the principal ones who had received.

I said I'm not at all conscious that in any way I had that effect. And that's probably when we are at our best when we are not at all conscious. But I wish you could have been there for that TV interview.

Two hours with hardly a break. And very rare to find a platform to be able to express my anticipation of the depth of suffering that has yet to befall Jews in the world globally. And in some of the questions that came while I was speaking one asked how will Texas itself be involved in this?

And I said much in every way. That all the more because you're arid, because you're forlorn, because you're forsaken, because you're a grub nothingness in a piece of wilderness be assured Jews will be passing through your terrain.

You need now to anticipate that. So I know that it's a word that is going to astonish or stun hearers who have a happier expectation for the success of Israel and think that you were suffering as at last behind them and now whatever the troubles that assail them they'll find their way through and Israel will be established.

And I'm saying no. It's a preliminary to disaster. And it's a disaster that will not only afflict Jews but astonish the church and maybe even test the depth of their own faith and understanding of God.

They may be offended at how far God will go to save a remnant out of this people that they might be a fragrance in the earth and a fruitful branch. So pray for last night's program that went out live and is again to be shown two or three times in the next immediate days and if the Lord was really in it they may have occasion to play it again.

The night before I was in Dallas at a biblical art museum speaking from Psalm 102 when the set time to favor Zion has come. Very precious night. So I'm telling you that all of this to say you need to come into my skin and to walk with me in days like this.

Being moved from one location to another, one message to another, one audience to another, one exposure and reality to another. Going to bed at midnight and having every anticipation of very leisurely rest and not having to be on the plane till 11 .40 this morning to get here and finding myself up at about four in this text.

And then reading the little booklet of the history of that station and how this brother and his wife were led step by step into the realm of Christian broadcasting. A real faith venture. And so all of these things are percolating and then the Lord has to add the New Yorker and the articles on Lionel Trilling and this Romanian Jew.

And I ought to read you portions of the Romanian experience because he chronicles the rise of anti-Semitism in Romania itself even before the advent of German conquest. That Jewish life was everyday becoming more precarious.

That something of that same Nazi mentality was afflicting or affecting Romanian society and even intellectuals. This man was a playwright and other of his colleagues and those whom he knew were already being affected by this mistreatment or the changing attitude toward Jews.

Really vile. So I'm thinking as I'm reading that if that could have taken place in Romania when a certain spirit was coming over Europe that did not have its sole expression in Germany and these are Romanians themselves.

One woman, a poet or a literary person said Romania is for Romanians and fat Jews and she went on to speak in a derogatory way about Jews making this Jewish playwright to wince at what he was hearing from the mouths of people whom he had esteemed and who had never spoken like this before never knew that they had sentiments like this or that they were capable of being affected.

I thought this is a valuable chronicle not only to show the phenomenon of anti-Semitism sweeping like a bilge over Europe and even among non-Germans but a picture of the future of how the same process can take place with us.

And as much as he was astonished to hear what was being expressed by people whom he esteemed that they actually were enjoying the dilemma of Jewish suffering and wanted to see Jews catch it that I thought how long will it be before we see a spirit phenomenon of that kind in our own nation and it will take place as rapidly not just among the unwashed and the rednecks and the semi-literate and high school dropouts and the dregs but playwrights, poets, artists, the intellectual from the bottom of society to its top this spirit of hatred against the Jew resonated and found responsive courts.

So all of that is being factored in me and I don't know why but the Lord is just bringing this impulse, this exposure and that and I'm standing up before you half-baked without a chance for it to be formed and to be expressed in a way that might be significant for you.

I thought, I said to Doug maybe we would have a question and answer period I don't have a message and maybe the Lord will just capitalize on some question or response and move us in a direction through that and you guys have had exposure now you've seen videos and heard tapes, read books what question have you always been wanting to put to a Jewish believer like myself having some exposure of the kind that you've had and hearing me now tonight and just giving you this is really a prophetic scenario this is how God form fits a word through a prophetic vessel using the grit of his daily circumstance to feed in and to bring certain valences, thoughts, dispositions of spirit in the context of the time and circumstance and out of that issues his prophetic statement.

So you're catching a little glimpse I've reviewed just these few days since leaving Minnesota at the crack of dawn to make the appropriate flight and fearful that I would oversleep and not be up at 4 .30, I'm up at 2 .30 so all of these days have started off so to speak on the wrong foot physically lacking adequate rest which itself affects the way in which you hear and see things and take them in.

Have you experienced that? And I have such a sublime confidence in the sovereignty of God that I believe that every factor the places where I have been the men that I'm meeting, the word that I'm speaking the early and unexpected risings and the way in which the days are programmed to end in still water at a university outreach and a minister's breakfast next Wednesday morning is part of this complete sovereignty of God that will bring the word out of the grit and details of this day including the New Yorker magazine of all the things upon which my eye could have fallen and there were two issues and I took them both.

So what do you think? Yeah? You mentioned that you can even see it develop in the United States where it quickly turned against the Jews, anti-Semitism. Wouldn't it more so be turning against the church as well?

Because you're seeing that more and more.

Antisemitism, Christian Persecution, and the Church’s Identification with Israel

Yeah, the church will be invariably involved the church that is the church. For how shall it be impervious or indifferent when it sees the climate of opinion becoming so vile towards Jews. And knowing from past history that that's the preliminary that is before the actual suffering.

There's a remarkable corollary if you study the history of the Nazi time that there was not a blatant and outright anti-Jewish program but it began with a cartoon and an editorial page or a letter to the editor or the editorial column itself making some snide remarks about the place of Jews and their influence in the culture or in business.

And then by a deepening process a greater boldness. It held them up to derision and contempt and it was not contested and people allowed these expressions until finally it became social governmental policy and the whole process of annihilation.

What I'm describing is now taking place with Christians. I don't know if you've noticed right wing fundamentalists are in the same pejorative excuse my language a negative focus in articles, newspaper, items letters to the editor and cartoons as Jews were in the very early part of the decade of the 30s.

And then by a process of this deepening thing one thing will lead to another so we will be involved, we'll be hated the people of God are the object of the demonic attack Jews in their unbelief and Christians in their faith.

And of course our identification with them will put us in the place where we'll be hated. For that very reason the only way we can avoid the persecution that befalls them is to keep a safe distance and to look the other way when these mounting distresses come to them.

But then how are we Christian if we're capable of that. So I think we need rightly to anticipate that their distress will be our distress. We will be locked in with them.

Not the church that allows for this that sets the stage the joking of the Jews and everything like that the church being asleep, the church being Laodicea. If the church was, I don't know if I'm stating or asking the question if the church was being the church would this type of thing be allowed to happen?

That's a really good statement and question it's interesting that this station, I didn't know it is so identified with Israel and with the Jew and they were very much occupied with Jewish roots of the faith that they had been forced out of fellowship from a charismatic non-denominational thing where the owner and his wife had been attending and about 30 of the ministers got together and accused them of, what's the word, heresy that they're bringing the church under the law by their emphasis on Jewish roots which is not their intention at all and I was astonished that they're suffering that kind of backlash and exclusion, they've lost support and it has deepened their financial crisis because of this identification with Jews and with Israel and I said I'm astonished to hear that.

Well in our part of the country this is not unusual so this is news for me but I think probably it will not be confined to parts of the country and where the church has adopted a, what do they call this theology?

A replacement theology where the church is the Israel of God and Jews are just another ethnic group, another nationality have no special distinction or claim on our attention or God's we can expect that those who will be identified with them will suffer even from that kind of church itself.

In fact the issue of Israel, as I've said many times in places has a unique ability to heighten every issue of the faith and even to distinguish in the last analysis who in fact the church indeed is so it's a remarkable mystery but in my 36 years as a believer I've never seen any subject have so profound an ability to raise the issues of identification about the faith, the church, what it means to be a Christian the issue of the Holy Spirit, the issue of last days as the issue of Israel so Israel even in her unawareness that she's affecting so many things is indeed the critical factor and you're right, already a process of separation over that subject is taking place and will become more clear as the issues as we come closer to the fullness of this time.

Doug? Have you been thinking of the perceptions we're anticipating this time? Well I have had some conventional thoughts. Isn't this the nexus of the faith prosperity school? Hagen and O. Roberts. And I'm expecting that when we have this minister's breakfast next Wednesday morning that these ministers will likely reflect that kind of view of the faith and I'm hoping and expecting the Lord is going to use me to raise the issue of the cross so you can pray for that also.

Well this is the Bible belt and I don't know, I'm coming as an innocent wide eyed and bushy tailed well not so bushy more limp with my tail between my legs and discombobulated, knocked out and tired but when the smoke clears I'll know better what this trip represents and why the Lord is fingering this locality because so much of my activity now is overseas like my next trip again is Canada and I will have a trip in Phoenix and Mexico and then other trips back to Russia and Poland a minister's conference you guys can follow these things from our website and our newsletter by a woman who had the burden to bring together German and Polish pastors because she sees a corridor of flight from northern Europe through Slavic nations and through Poland and through Germany of Jews and is beginning now to bring together Polish and German ministers in anticipation of that reality and got hold of my message on true and false German repentance toward the Jew and said this man has got to be the speaker at this conference in Warsaw so that's the end the last week of February of 2001.

So when my activity in the States is so rare and the Lord fingers Oklahoma and Texas I suspect that he has something up his sleeve and that something needs to be expressed of the unique kind that God gives me and I trust that this area will get a full measure and there's already a repository of tapes and books and things like that that can be circulated and made known I was scratching my eye.

Oh no, this young man I have a question. This is kind of a general question. How do you deal with the Jews that are not saved knowing that God has committed them to disobedience. Because I find, I have a lot of friends from home in New Hampshire that are Jewish and not saved.

Knowing, and even my stepdad is Jewish knowing that they've been committed to disobedience is real hard for me as a Christian. I want to share with them, I want to see them commit but I also see that commitment made by God but don't be fatalistic about it.

I wonder how you deal with it knowing that they have been committed. So God will show mercy on all of us outside of the root and I thank God for that. But then to see them outside of the root is hard for me and I imagine it's very hard for you especially at this time.

It's the beginning of Rosh Hashanah and all that.

Israel’s Unbelief, Mercy, and the Sovereignty of Grace

I'm chuffing out the issue with my own 95 year old mother who's living now next door to me whom we have brought from Florida to spend her last days with us and as stubborn and intractable despite being in a believing community and having love lavished upon her by its members and every kind of consideration is all the more defensive of her Jewishness and her Judaism than ever she feels that she's under some kind of threat and she herself is valiantly defending the monotheistic faith.

So I know what you're talking about until such time as the Lord lifts the veil concludes us all under disobedience that he might have mercy upon all. And the thing that will loose my mother is not something that will have its origin with her as if she has a virtue and an ability to break the fetters of her own blindness but will have to be the consequence of what has come to her from outside of herself the prayers of the saints the intercession of the saints the consistent and faithful witness that's continually striking her heart.

I've got some photographs with me of our recent activity. We had a convocation at a prophetical school and we were visited by a busload of Hutterites who are out of the Mennonite Anabaptist 16th century tradition.

Have you ever heard of them? They're up in northern Canada and from the Dakotas and they wear simple clothing and they're community centered. And in one week we had four visits as if something is coming from God that was completely unanticipated.

And when they heard that my 95 year old mother was living next door to me they brought the bus by and the young people came out of the bus and came into her little screened porch and began to sing hymns.

And you should have seen my mother's face. I took two photographs. It is a study because she's she didn't know whether to choke or what to gasp or the love of these young people their apparent faith their ability to express it in heartfelt praise and worship of which she herself is not capable.

And they're going. They're Gentiles celebrating the God of Israel in a way in which she is yet not capable. And her face was a study. So there's hardly a day in a week where something is not coming from God.

It's like some relentless beating on the door in one form or another until hopefully there'll be a surrender. But I appreciate your prayer for that. It's a frustration and it tests me as if I can hold her responsible for getting with it and getting with the program and understanding already what the issue is come on, how much exposure do you need knowing that the issue is entirely with God and His grace just as we read in this text though God cries out return, O Israel, to the Lord your God and explains that their separation is because of their iniquity and enjoins them to take words with them and to return to the Lord.

Still in the end I will heal their disloyalty. It's God who takes the initiative. It's the grace of God that comes because if Jews themselves could be a factor in their own deliverance in their own salvation what then shall they eternally boast.

And that's why they must be reduced to such an absoluteness that they know that they know that their salvation has come from God and He has taken the initiative. And so what shall I say for myself. I was a poor man's lionel trilling the same essential disposition same blindness the same ethical, intellectual kinds of concerns that I see expressed in the article about him was known to me.

Why is it that he died unsaved. And here I am not only a believer but serving the Lord all over the world. And how did it come to me out of a distress but the mercy and the grace of God that even when the Lord gave me 14 months of revelation studded revelation the first reading of the New Testament people picking me up off the side of the road penetrating words that moved my heart in the last analysis when the Lord Himself opened my understanding in Jerusalem and I was invited to call upon the name of the Lord.

I could not myself call. The calling on the name of the Lord is not a vocalization that we can invoke or perform at our will. So my heart goes out to those Gentiles who know about the Lord and are postponing the day they want to have a ball they want to enjoy their independence and self-will.

But at some later time when it's convenient for them they will call on the name of the Lord. They may find out that they're completely incapacitated when they think that that time has come and that we need to call when the grace is given.

And so though I found myself incapable of calling of speaking the name of Jesus peaceably because that name has been so polluted and corrupted it was a curse word I just, I could not summon it. And in that choked sputter the Lord Himself brought His own name up through my mouth.

And I was saved when the name of the Lord whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved. And the moment that that name in such a broken choked way came out instantly something went out with it that was dark.

And something came in to replace it that was light. The Ruach HaKodesh the Holy Spirit of God. I was born again by the Spirit boom in a moment as soon as that name came out and I've been pleading with my mother to call upon the name of the Lord.

It's near you as close as your mouth. Oh I know the name of the Lord. It's Hashem the name I said. No that's not the name. That's the word name what is the specific name for which God waits. She knows but she won't speak it.

And maybe she can't. So so intractable and so deep is the aversion to the name that the powers of darkness have inculcated in Jewish hearts that it will be a grace as it was a grace for me it will be a grace for her given that we shall not boast.