Teach Me How To Keller

I was doing what I normally do one day and responding to a tweet from Timothy Isaiah Cho and was taking some time to analyze it and to try to give it a fair reading while I made my criticisms.

So if you want to sing it to African tunes, then you're going to have to spend some time putting the songs to African tunes.

I'm not saying that doesn't exist. I don't even know if it exists. It's just not something I've ever thought about, you know? So if this is really important to you, you want to sing these songs to Chinese tunes or to Korean tunes or whatever.

You've got to do the work for it because the white people decided that's what they wanted to do and they went ahead and did it and they are singing them in their churches now.

If you want to do that, go find the ones that are already written or write your own and do it. Stop complaining that other people aren't doing it.

I happen to like the European tunes, you know, so I sing them. It's no problem. But if you don't like them for some reason, you think it's racist, do the hard work.

That's the whole point. Stop complaining about it and do the hard work. I stopped myself in the middle of it and I said to myself, this is too much work and honestly it doesn't have enough oomph.

I want to be able to really lambast the position of Timothy Isaiah Cho.

How can I do this more effectively that will reach more people and rile up my audience that much more?

Then I remembered what I learned from Timothy Keller yesterday. He told me about speech act theory.

Yes, of course, that's it. It's not really what Timothy is saying. It's actually what his words are doing.

Hmm, I need to practice. Let's talk about this and let's think about this and practice a little bit and maybe

I can figure out exactly what's being said here without really being said here. Perhaps we should start double education where Christians of color in higher education post pictures outside of their outside of class curricula.

Because we all know that every education that does not include every ethnicity under the sun is a bunch of absolute white hooded racists.

If you don't read books like this, you are a racist. That's pretty good.

Let's try this one. Arguing for psalms only and no instrumentation in worship isn't avoiding the worship wars.

It's simply pretending to have a cultural high ground when in fact some of a certain culture metricize those psalms and compose those tunes, most likely white and European.

And as we all know, white and European music is the most racist music of all.

If you sing psalms only at your church, you are probably a racist.

Hmm, I thought this is working out pretty good. I think I'm doing pretty well. Let's let's try a few more and then we'll try the ultimate shit test.

Something from Jamar Tisby. Keeping this on file to retweet January 22nd, 2019.

Because that's what my book is coming out. And I am extremely smart, way smarter than you.

I've written a book. Did you know it? You racists out there don't write books. Only smart, educated, social justice warriors read books.

Hmm, one more. Let's try this one. Kyle J. Howard. Much of the issues plaguing evangelicalism can be tied back to a truncated grasp of biblical anthropology, which is the doctrine of man for all you idiots out there, especially you white folks who don't understand anything.

You guys think you have biblical anthropology, but really you just have white anthropology. What a bunch of racist rhetoric.

You guys are white supremacists and it's ridiculous. But you can listen to me.

I'm loving and I'm smart. When you have a proper view of the glory of humanity and how you treat others and defend their

God -given dignity becomes part of what it means to be Christlike. The way evangelicalism has treated

LGBT image bearers, women, minorities, and the poor, folks who disagree with ideology directly related to how it views humanity.

It's impossible to rightly grasp the glory and beauty of humanity and be apathetic towards anyone with the imago

Dei. Therefore, we must bring in LGBT pastors and priests. We must bring in female pastors and priests.

And we also must have every church with at least one minority elder.

Otherwise, you're racist, homophobic, cisgendered bigots. I think

I got it. Let's try the ultimate test. Let's use speech act theory on Tim Keller himself.

If you're intolerant of people you think are intolerant, you're being intolerant. Intolerance is the intolerance is still intolerance.

And we should be tolerant of everybody. Intolerance is, of course, the most dangerous sin of all.

And if you're intolerant towards anybody, especially LGBT, especially homosexuals, especially, uh, especially transgender, especially minorities, then you are going to hell.

It's just that simple. We need full inclusion in the United States and the Church of God.

Hmm. That worked pretty well. It certainly was a lot easier to say what you think they're saying as opposed to what they are saying.

Hmm. I think that's pretty good advice, Tim Keller. Let's go. Let's do this going forward.

I think that'll probably, if we, if we, if we apply speech act theory to everybody's positions,

I think that'll probably help us solve our problems faster than anything else. You're right.

There is a divide in the church. And speech act theory and telling people what they mean instead of reading what they mean and listening to what they mean, that's the best way to solve it.

After all, what we need is complete agreement. We need the intelligentsia from on high to tell us we're doing a good job.