Integrity of the Heart — George Verwer

Seeking Reality in a Lifelong Commitment to Christ

A lot of people at our age go on a religious binge. We try religion. Now, as you sit there, you don't think you're trying it. You feel, this is it for me, I'm living for Christ all my life. But somehow, time proves that you were just trying it.

You didn't really mean it. Because so many who live for Christ at 15, at 16, at 17, sometimes a little older, even at our age, some of us are older than that, overthrow Christ in the 20s. Many of you, I hope, have got by that stage, but most teenagers certainly haven't.

And so, this is our burden. That you may have such an encounter with reality and find God so real, and get to know some of the principles of living for Christ, that make this thing tick, because it does, that you'll never turn away from Jesus Christ.

That you'll live for Him, whether it's in a factory, or an office, or on the mission field. And I don't particularly care, really, ultimately, I'll push missions, because God's given me that burden. But if you tell me specifically, I know the Lord has called me into business for Jesus Christ, I'll be the first one to say, Hallelujah.

The idea that the person who's not in full-time work is in an inferior position is one of the subtlest, slipperiest lies Satan's ever given. The idea that those of us in full-time work, we're sort of some special, special group.

There's no biblical basis. We're all pilgrims, we're all ambassadors of Christ. So this is our real burden. Reality. You may go home. I don't believe this thing of reality is a black or white situation.

Spiritual Growth Beyond Black-and-White Thinking

This is a deadly pattern in our thinking. And I hope some of you will write some of these things down and think about it. One of our deadly patterns as young people is black and white thinking. I've either got reality, or I don't have reality.

Well, I want to tell you, if it's that way, then there's one right here, and I've got it. That's the essence of reality in Jesus Christ. But I have so much more to learn in Him. There's so many areas where I must grow that I can't sort of think that I've reached an ultimate experience or ultimate relationship where I can say I have reality.

In one way, I can. Naturally, it's a play on words, isn't it? I think you know what I mean. But it scares me when I meet people who come on OM for a summer and are convinced that when they come to the end of this summer, they're going to have it.

They're going to have it. And they're going to go back, go into their church, and all of a sudden, this reality, you know, it's just going to flow out and roll over in the congregation and the pastor, and everybody's going to start to mobilize prayer groups and evangelism, and it doesn't work that way.

Because the average person, when they go back from OM, is still very young, and he's only had one or two months. He should have had, of course, a lot of exposure to it before, but it may be he's only had a couple of months of really beginning to move with Jesus.

I want to tell you, watchman knee hits it on the head. He says it's not one year, not five years, not 15 years. It takes 20 years and more to make a spiritual man. That's a reality. For some of you, it may make the road longer because you may even be out of the Lord's will to some degree.

That's another area where we'd make the same mistake. So many people, black and white, I'm either 100 in the will of God or 100 out of it. You want to hear some unorthodoxy? I don't think I've ever been 100 in, and I praise God not too much 100 out.

You don't understand that, perhaps, that I believe no matter how much I'm in the will of God, I could have been more in the will of God. Why? Because the main thing that I see for the will of God for my life is that I live a life of love.

And no matter how much love I've had at a particular moment, I could have had more love. I might have shown an act of love to someone. That was the will of God. But I could have been more loving. That would have been more the will of God.

And in so much of our spiritual thinking, we've got this black and white. And because we don't reach this ultimate, speak of it as the white, we get discouraged, we get depressed, we wonder what's going on, we sense failures, we drop out.

Or we say, in all what a grievance this is to God, it doesn't work. Like the lady, you've all heard the story. She came across this verse in the scripture, that if you have faith as the grain of mustard seed, you say unto this mountain, move!

And so she prayed. There's a mountain behind her house. Prayed in faith. Supposedly, she thought, and she said, mountain, be moved! She turned around and said, well, I knew it wouldn't go. And some of you already, there's a little, little law that somehow, it's subtle, says, I know this will work.

I know, this is OM, this is discipleship, it will work. I'll try it, it will work. As long as you have that little bit of unbelief, because that's what it is, that it will work, it won't. It won't. You've got to come to that place where you believe it will work.

Because it's not OM that's going to work, we can't do anything, it's God. It's God. In any movement, one of the greatest dangers is to get your eyes on the movement. That's why every year I pray about getting out of this crazy thing.

It's the truth. Because I'm so frightened of movements and organizations and bureaucracy and things that get going and you can't stop them. If Wesley came back today, would he be able to stop Methodism?

Don't be offended, my Methodist friends, but it would be an interesting sight. And I just have such a burden along that line. But reality is peace. Reality is not necessarily a black and white thing. Reality is love.

Reality as Love and the Practice of Christian Fellowship

Anything in the area of religion or Christian truth without love is nothing. Nothing. If you don't have love, that doesn't mean ultimate because God's got to continue to work in you. And if there isn't some love, you don't have reality.

I don't care what kind of doctrine you have, how many people you've led to Christ. You say, can you lead people to Christ without love? Of course you can. Especially the way we lead them to Christ these days.

But I think we'll be taking up that theme in another evening. Reality is love. And I think this is one of the greatest advantages of all in life. Opportunity to learn to love. This is tremendous. People of different backgrounds, different temperaments, people who rub you like a locomotive going down the same track in the opposite direction.

And people with different smells and different looks and different hairstyles. I had one girl came to me. It just shook her rigid. An American just shook her rigid at Milwaukee to see some of the hair.

And, oh, imagine if she came over here. And some of us just have all of our spiritual values, you know, knocked apart. We meet an on-fire Arminian or a burning out for Christ Calvinist and we're shaking rigid and we don't know what to do about it.

Too late to run back to Bible school and ask a question. And it's just a fantastic opportunity to learn love. So many of our problems, so many of the things we're critical about. We have hang-ups on, as the Americans all say.

English will have to learn that word. It'll come sooner or later. You'll all be hung up on it. And so many of these problems are simply, basically that you and I have not learned to give and to receive love.

And receiving is also important. To give and to receive love. That's reality. If you can go back and show more love to your parents and communicate love with your parents at home after this crusade, more than before it, we'll consider that a greater success than if you can go back and get out on the street corners and give out tracts.

We wouldn't mind seeing that. What about your relationship with your parents? Especially if they're Christian parents. Is there reality? Is there communication? Is there love? Reality in the home? We know that OM is to some degree an unreal situation.

It isn't the first unreal situation you've been in. If you've been in college, you'd hardly call that a real situation. We're conscious that there are weaknesses in our operation and in the things we have to do.

That's why we so yearn to see people really making this way of life click back in the secular world. And we know that this summer, you can almost go through the summer on nervous energy and a lot of other things.

We're conscious of that. And that's why we have this message of plea for reality. Plea for reality. I am absolutely convinced these principles, when truly understood, many OMers never do understand them, when truly understood, will work in an office, a factory, in a top business position, anywhere.

And I've seen men who've done it. I've seen men who've done it. They're one of the greatest encouragements in my life. This is not some little special super test tube Christianity that only works in this particular evangelical hothouse.

It will work anywhere if you understand it and if you are experiencing this reality in your own heart and life. Oh, I hope you'll see that. Reality is love. Reality is forgiveness. This is a great burden on my heart, that as you go out in these days, you will know that you are forgiven.

The Freedom of Daily Forgiveness

I meet many young people. Their sins are hammering away at them. Their weakness is hammering away. This reality that we have in Christ involves total forgiveness. I meet people in counseling who seemingly have never forgiven themselves for some failure.

Now, many of you here have had a moral failure of some kind, perhaps in your life. You were saved maybe recently. The way society is moving today, those who arrive at the ancient age of 18 without some kind of moral failure, the statistic is getting very interesting.

But some Christian young people, when they have a moral failure or any failure, they never forgive themselves. And that's really, it really is a subtle form of self-love mixed with self-pity. And I would ask you, as you plead for God to forgive you, you already have, forgive yourself.

Forgive yourself. Stop carrying a chip on your shoulder against yourself. God has forgiven you. It's gone. I don't care what it is. It's gone as far as east is from the west. Reality is that full knowledge of forgiveness.

And it's knowing daily forgiveness. The difference I've noticed in my own life with some people who don't seem to be doing so well in their Christianity is not that I'm that great a Christian. It's just that I know the secret of daily forgiveness.

I've failed the Lord today already quite a real way. Quite a real way. But I've experienced His forgiveness. I'm free as a bird. Sometimes I feel I almost can fly. I'm almost that light, actually. Are you experiencing that tonight?

Total forgiveness. You're free. Nothing is on your conscience. It's a fantastic way to live. Nothing on your conscience. Nothing nabbing, pricking, stabbing your conscience. You're free. Wonderful way to live.

That's reality. I've failed the Lord. I've sinned. I've seen things that are in a wrong relationship with Himself. Forgiveness. Reality is not perfection. Perfection will kill you. In one way, it is our goal.

But if it becomes, instead of a goal, an obsession, it'll kill you. I've seen false holiness ideas slay more Christians than almost anything else. It is a giant killer. Because though we may maintain a super level for a while, like this summer, you'll live, some of you, on a super level for the summer.

One reason you won't have any time for some of your favorite sins. And the environmental pressure of other Christians around you all watching. And a lot of it's here. Some of it's good. It holds the movement together until we mature a little.

But it's there. When you go back to Britain, it's all gone. There you are, free, standing in the middle of London. I want to tell you, your Christianity hasn't gone deeper. You don't know something of forgiveness.

You go down. I've had many tell me how. One of the reasons is this. Get the super standard. We're witnessing every day. We're winning souls. We're praying every day. We're repenting. We're pressing on.

We're in fellowship. We go back to Britain. Very few can maintain that. Very few. There's bound to be, don't be discouraged by it, some post-Crusade drop-off. You're not going to continue at this same level.

I'm not sure it's even God's will. It might be God's will when you get back to Britain and take a good week holiday. There's nothing wrong with that. Especially for people who don't relax easily in a normal environment.

I have to turn my work into a holiday or I crack up. I just laugh it off. If you don't learn how to laugh in this movement, you'll cry. I do some of that too. And so we set up these fantastic standards.

Maybe our team leader, we saw him getting up at four in the morning. We determined I'm going to go back to Britain. Get up at four in the morning at any cost. And so we set up all this superstructure of what we want to be.

What we're dreaming about. But we're not there. So what happens? We fail. When we fail, instead of just accepting it and just taking it to the cross and plodding on, we think, well, what happened? And then we think, well, I failed the Lord again.

Oh, this thing doesn't work. This is my fifth summer on O .M. This still doesn't work. During the summer, you may build a higher view of your spirituality. Maybe you'll stand up during one of the invitations.

And you'll come into the rest. And it'll last for the summer. Because of all these other things. The moment you get back home, this pressure, that pressure. Suddenly, you've stripped all your nails off in worry.

What's happened to the rest? And then you wonder, well, can you go back over Jordan? How did this happen? Pretty soon you're getting out your 258-page book on sanctification. Which gives you a migraine trying to figure it out.

And you're confused. And so you get discouraged. And so you then, what's the use? And you drop out. Again and again and again, I've seen people set up these fantastic standards, fail to understand God's forgiveness, fail to understand God's provision for sinners, for failures, for phonies, for the mask wearers, which all of us do to some degree.

All of us do to some degree. And a failure to understand God's forgiveness will just undermine any reality you ever get. I've seen it all over the world. I've seen some people who at one time were living at such a level, I've seen them down in the very bottom of the pit, wallowing in ways you wouldn't dream.

I could tell you things you'd think I were making up stories. It's just incredible. Reality. It means forgiveness, and I believe means daily forgiveness. If you're really living close to Jesus, every day there's going to be something you're going to have to repent about.

If you really have the standard of the New Testament. I have to repent constantly of the coldness of my heart. Don't you think it's a sin to have a cold heart? When the Bible says, be hot or cold, cold, of course, is being sinful.

The Bible says, of course, if it's sinful to have a cold heart, the Bible says also it's sinful to have a lukewarm heart. You may say, I don't have to repent of a cold heart. The Bible says you have to repent even of a lukewarm heart.

If your heart is in anything but perfect for Jesus, thrilled with Jesus, and for people, then you've got to repent. Well, I don't know about you, but that means an awful lot of repentance for me. Now, that doesn't mean I sort of bow down 25 times a day, repent, Lord, forgive me, Lord, ashes, Lord.

Sometimes I consciously stop and just, in my mind, in my heart, Lord, that was foolish, forgive me. Just a few words. He reads the heart. He knows whether that's real in your heart. He can see right in.

And I believe that's one of the secrets of reality. Forgiveness. That's what's kept me going over these years. As a young Christian, I tell you, a number of times I was running down the race track, 17, 18 years of age, loaded with energy, world-conquering, running down the race track, a whack on my face.

Absolute failure, sin, the works. Now, the mercy of God, I saw He forgave me. He forgave me, and I started running again. I've been running ever since. 15 wonderful years. This Christian life works, but it works on God's principles, not yours.

We'd all like to get sanctified this week. We'd all like to get it all solved this week. We go out of here with a big banner. I am free. I am free. But it doesn't work that way. It doesn't work that way.

And you're, I forget who it was, one man of God said, There's no gain without pain. No gain without pain. And it's so, so true. Forgiveness. Forgiveness. Reality is forgiveness. Reality is purity of motives.

Purity of Motives and Honest Self-Examination

Pure motives. It was Tozer who said, I wrote it in my Bible, let me read it so I don't misquote it. I'm speaking about motives and the importance of motives. He gave these words, and I suggest perhaps you write them in your Bible.

By which all conduct must finally be judged is motive. As water cannot rise higher than its source. They always get the lights on in quotations. It's interesting. As water cannot rise higher than its source, so the moral quality in an act can never be higher than the motive that inspires it.

Reality involves motives. Absolutely. A guy may have done something completely wrong. Completely wrong. But because his motive was right, there's reality. There's a degree to reality. Another man may do something absolutely right.

Zero defects. All wrong with God. The motive wasn't right. We have to search our motives this week. Really. Why are you here? Basic question for discussion tomorrow. It'd be interesting if you'd be open enough to do it in your discussion session.

Why am I here? What really motivated me to come here? The love of Jesus Christ? Just to glorify God at any cost? Say your motives. Our motives should never go any lower. Now this is a danger area because we can really become introspective here.

Like Peter Song, not introspection. Reality is not all getting our evangelical what do they call those things? Stethoscopes. The doctors have. You probably don't call it that in England. And listening and looking inside, finding all those terrible things.

No, that's not it. But I believe with all my heart we've got to be willing to face our motives. Now I never look at my motives too long because I just look and if I see something that's not pleasing I just immediately repent.

Forget it, plow on it. As we often said, throw away the baby with the dirty bath water. It's a great mistake. I don't think any mothers want to do that. When you find the motive, here's a fellow giving out tracts and in the middle of the morning he discovers his motive isn't right.

He says, well I'm not doing this because I love Jesus. I'm not doing this because I love God or because I love people. I'm doing this because basically my team leader told me. Well let me tell you, that's not too bad a motive.

Things can get a lot worse than that. But because you found some poor motive you don't suddenly throw all the tracts in the trash can. Bad motivation, boom. Can't do this anymore. Throw your book bag away and go walking down the street doing nothing.

But just cast that motive out of your heart. Ask God to cleanse you and to give you that love. And he will. And sometimes with me it's just a matter of sheer intellectual combat. Because I just don't feel it.

I just don't feel some kind of sensation toward all these people in the streets of India. Beggars pulling on my trousers, children battering me, grabbing the tracts out of my hands and kinds of odors coming in every direction.

Because I'm hungry. I just don't feel some kind of a love sensation. Oh India, wonderful India, 110. It's a battle of the mind. And with my mind I just say, God, this is what I often do, I believe this is your word.

I believe it glorifies you to give out your word. I believe you're going to use your word. I don't feel anything. Reality is firstly a matter of the mind and the will. Not the emotion. That will come.

That's the last car on the train. The engine is the will. The next car is the mind. And I have saved myself many a tragedy in my own life because I just repeated something like that in my mind. I know this is your word.

I know you will honor your word. I know it glorifies you to distribute your word. Therefore I will distribute. I will preach. I will witness. Now God can always give us greater motivation, but that is definitely accepted motivation.

Obedience to God's word is accepted motivation even if you don't feel like it. And many times in my Christian life I said, I don't understand, Lord. I don't quite feel this way, Lord, but I believe. You've said it.

I believe it. That settles it. That's reality. Don't get the idea that reality is some kind of fine tingling sensation that you carry around with you and when it goes away you think you've lost the blessing.

I'm scared when I see people getting a great blessing, a great revival. I'm scared of this thing in America. I'm not against it. I pray to the Lord for it. But I'm scared of it. It's so easy. We trust emotions.

It's so easy. We trust a particular experience or a particular feeling that we may even have for several weeks. We may have it all summer. And then it goes. Because we trust that, we go as well. Deadly.

Honesty, Confession, and Mutual Accountability

Reality. Motivation. Let us search our motives. Let us repent of false motives. Let us be honest about our motives. Reality and a plea for reality must include a plea for honesty. Be real with someone at this conference.

There are plenty around who are just free. I know Peter who just sang. He'd be happy to talk with you. He's a good talker. Goes on into the night. Can't get him up in the morning. But he'd love to talk with you.

There are others around. Bob Cook who's standing back there next to him. Great talker. And find someone with a listening ear. My wife is around just looking around to talk to people. And hopes to talk to me once in a while too.

But to find someone and have an honest conversation. The Bible says, Confess your faults one with another. Pray for one another that ye may be healed. I was confessing some of my faults this morning. I got ahold of Brother Gray.

I was burdened about some problems and battles and thoughts I was having. I confessed and talked. It was a great help. And I think that people who think they're above all this, you know, they don't need others.

They don't need fellowship. It's none of your business what my problems are. I'm living this here. It's just me and God. Right through. You usually find that fellow about 100 yards down. Flower in his face.

Because the Bible says, Take heed lest ye fall. Paul Tournier in his book Strong and Weak shows that basically we're all weak. One way we're all strong. And I believe that this plea for reality must be a plea for honesty.

You've got a lot of false motivation? Go to someone. I had a young man come to me last year. He came in. He said, My motivation is completely false. And it was. He had the most strange reasons why he was over here.

And he told me, I don't really feel now I can go on a team. I said, Fine. He said, I better go back to the States. I said, Wait a minute. You feel at this point you can't go on a team? And he had various reasons about personal work in that area.

I said, What about working in the book department for the summer? Packing books for the, Sending all over the world. Somehow in his mind he felt he could do this. He felt that he wasn't ready for personal contact.

And I can understand that. And he had a fantastic time on O .M. And I've been writing to him ever since. Packing books. And he came out of this terrific fog that he was in. And you may have to come to us at the end of this week.

Look, Mike, Jonathan, whoever you're talking to. I have to be honest. I am not at all ready for this front line banging on doors and giving out tracks. I just haven't got it. Is there any other place?

Or you may want to even tell us you feel you should go home. I'd rather be honest and go home than deceive myself, deceive the leaders, and go out. But you see, if you're honest about your problems, it'll probably be like many other people.

We'll see that it isn't that serious. Probably most of us as leaders have the same problem. And we'll say, Look, get on with the job. The Lord will help you as you move. I'm amazed at the things that young people allow to blow up huge sins.

And then they think, This is going to keep me from being fruitful. Some other thing. And oftentimes it's not the case at all. A little discussion and prayer and counseling, the thing can be solved. Yes, reality must include honesty.

Let's be honest with one another. Let's have honest conversations. Does anyone hold any lines on your questionnaire form? Every year we have some. Any questions about health that you sort of worked your way around?

Any question about emotional problems that you sort of worked your way around? You should put that right. You should put it right. Like when you cheat on an exam. It isn't right. You know, God is looking, and this is the next aspect I want to mention of reality, for men of integrity.

Integrity in Leadership, Money, and Relationships

Do you know that word? It's one of the greatest words in the English language. Integrity. It speaks of so many things. Honesty. Clarity. Purity. Openness. Frankness. Straightness. The tremendous word.

Integrity. God is looking for men of integrity. That means he can trust them with a million pounds. That means he can entrust them with the lives of others. That means he can put them into leadership.

That means he can do all kinds of things. God is looking for men of integrity. Absolutely honest. Absolutely straight. Absolutely clear. In their dealings. In their business. In their relationships. That's a tremendous word.

You can deceive us to think that or to allow in any way a mentality to come in which you're trying to get away with as much as you can on OS. That's beyond me. I can't understand it. I want to see. Somebody might say, just how much I can get away with in the area of these social rules.

Boy, these things are old fashioned. Wow. Imagine that. Look at that. Just see how much you can get away with or the area of money. Oh, imagine not carrying your own money. As a matter of a thousand francs in my shoes.

Who's going to be harmed by that? You can get away with all kinds of things. We don't care. I'm not going to look around in your shoes at night. But the man of integrity, the woman of integrity will have none of it.

If he is going to do something like this, he'll just share it. He'll say, well, quite frankly, I have to admit that I don't feel I can keep this particular aspect of it and I just want to be honest about it.

Boy, that takes a man of integrity. For a man to come up and speak straight. A lot of these things, it isn't what you're doing or not doing. That's not the problem at all, young people. It's your attitude.

It's your attitude. It's your motive. We can become spiritually deceitful. Deceit is a very subtle thing. It covers many areas. You could have deceived with your questionnaire. You can deceive when we interview you by just giving a false impression.

It's easy, isn't it? Not a lie. Not a big, bad lie like that he said I never could give. But just a little bit of deceiving. God hates it. It's not real. It's not real. I love real people. I have a lot of friends outside of OM who are real sinners.

I mean, they really are having trouble in their Christian lives. Flopping all over the place. Saved one week and lost the next. I have some terrific fellowship with some of these people because some of them are really honest.

I'd rather meet an honest sinner than a lying saint. God is looking for men of integrity. This is our plea. This is our plea. This is the message of OM. A plea for reality. A plea to break free from all this kind of unreal fog that creeps in.

Lifelong Discipleship and the Final Reality of Christ

And I want to tell you it won't get over in a week, not in a summer, nor even on a year program. Whoever wants reality, the man who is hungry for this kind of life, he must prepare for a lifetime of spiritual evolution.

That's the challenge. Enroll for life in God's course on discipleship. Enroll for life in God's army of spiritual revolution. Enroll for life in that band of those who are pilgrims passing through, hungry after God.

We want reality at any cost. And know that ultimate, final reality will only come when we meet Jesus Christ on that great day. Meanwhile, I want to get as much of Him, as much of Him, as I possibly can.

A plea for reality. If you've missed this, you've missed OM. I don't care if you've been to India and back. If you've missed this, you've missed the real message, the heartbeat, the message of Jesus Christ.

But if you want the final definition of reality, it's simply this. Reality. Stay close to Him. Grow in reality, day by day. A plea for reality tonight. It's you. Spirit that is hot strings tonight, into the Holy of Holies, where we may walk with you and know this reality, this peace, this forgiveness, this honesty, this openness, this love.

Prayer for Reality, Forgiveness, and Spiritual Perseverance

Oh Lord, we're hungry for this. We know that it's only found in Your Son, the Lord Jesus. The only one who lived the absolutely realistic life upon the earth. Our panting after Him, oh God, as the deers, the heart panteth after the water brook.

Meet us in these days, oh God. Even tomorrow morning as we rise early and search Your Word and pray and seek Your face. Father, we know it will not happen in a night, in a week, in a decade. Lord, we know it will happen.

Ask God that this revolution of reality that You have begun might continue, that it might continue at any cost. Lord, if there's someone this evening that's discouraged, sensing failure, sensing some bitterness or some problem, we'll wait.

Oh Lord, touch this reality from above. Please, oh God. By Your Holy Spirit, we pray in Jesus' name.