Indian Orientation for Foreigners (1971) — George Verwer

The Seriousness of Missionary Work in India

Special Indian Orientation Session, En Route to India, 26th of April, 1971. We're discussing some of the problems that we face in the work in India, some of the criticisms against the work, both from without and from Indians within OM.

Let's pray. Now Lord, oh how much we need to learn as we go into this great country. We look to you and ask you to open our minds, open our hearts. Father, make us desperate, make us like those missionaries who have gone up into lands and years gone by, laid down their lives.

Father, may we not think this is some kind of game we're in. Lord, we know this is a real warfare. We look to you in Jesus' name. Amen. How true this is that what we're going into is a very, very serious thing.

I've had some news back from India that again shows how serious it all is and how impossible it is for us as foreigners to really make an impact. I do hope you will follow through on our little history.

I got my own appetite wet and I've been reading a lot of history this week. It's a great blessing for me. These will be left together with Fielding's History of England, which has a whole series of references about India.

You can just look in the index and find all the references about India. Do try to read up on your own some history, but I haven't got time to go further into that right now because I've got some new material, one thing of which I found by Brother Thomas Samuel when I was going through some files, another thing that has just come from Greg Livingston from the conference they just met in, and then some other things that I have picked up along the way, some things for girls from our girls' seminar in Kathmandu.

I don't know if you've gone over any of this. Or you judge someone as being lazy, someone as not living out the principles of the work, someone as this or that. Maybe you'd better ask yourself how long are you going to last and how will you be doing after five years.

Most of you are only going two years. I've already heard rumors on this ship of the number of people that want to get out, get back to Europe already. There's only a few, but that's enough. So we're really going to have to have an understanding of these Indians and their problems.

The Loss of Trained Workers and Growing Responsibilities

Now Greg Livingston had a session with some of the Indian brothers who were in the work for quite some time and they really opened their hearts. Some of them had come to the conference with some real bitterness, resentment against the foreigners, and in this session with Greg they really opened their hearts.

And I thought I would share some of these things with you so you can be conscious of the things that we are doing that can hinder. Also you need to realize that many of the problems we face in India are because it is operated on a two-year program.

Every year we lose the men that we train and kill ourselves to teach. And this year, within the next two months, we lose Hugh Bradby, Mike Waitley, bang, bang, bang, their names don't come to mind, at least ten major men.

We lose in the next two months. And you can imagine the new problems that throws us into. Meanwhile, the Indian brothers continue to go, more responsibility is thrown onto them, new foreigners come into the picture.

There are so many complications that, as Brother Greg said in his letter, is basically positive. It's truly a miracle. Let me read Greg's opening statement as someone who was in the work in the very beginning.

He says, let me say that through this conference I've come to see, that's the one I want to read, oh yeah, let me say very sincerely that I'm extremely glad that you and Brother Thomas and Brother Miley encouraged me to come to this conference, for outside of what encouragement I may have been to some here, it has been a great thrill to see what God has done over the past seven years.

No matter what one could see that could possibly be interpreted as negative or dangerous, anyone who knew what we were when we began could do nothing but jump out of their shoes to realize how these teams have bashed on day after day, month after month, and year after year.

And for the literally millions who have had at least an opportunity to hear the claims of Christ, truly we can just praise our heads off. And he has a number of other positive notes, especially on the end.

But he does want to realistically share some of the struggles the Indian brothers are having in working together with foreigners. Of course, foreigners have their own struggles working with Indians, and that's why there is such a constant need of communication.

There are very few groups in a worldwide level, and I've been in a lot of places, where Indian and foreigner are working so tightly, so hand-in-glove. And this is the way we operate. It's not to criticize those that don't work this closely, but that's the kind of work we're in.

And it presents a lot of nitty-gritty little problems that we need to constantly give some thought to. The first question they threw out, can Indian and foreigner really ever be one? Well, I think immediately how Indian brothers have shared with me how we as foreigners form our little cliques.

There are certain people we enjoy, we're able to converse with them more readily, they're from the West, and we have our little cliques. This ship has its cliques. We have our language cliques. Germans like to get German, pa-wa-wa-wa, Scandinavians, pa-wa-wa-wa, English, pa-wa-wa-wa.

I understand all the Americans even have a little party, American party. Well, all these things are alright if they're kept in their place, especially on a ship, but they won't go down an Indian. The Indian brothers do not appreciate us pulling off and having this double standard, treating them as little Indians who we can work with and we can sweat with them, but not making them our intimate friends.

It's a very big thing with some of them. Now, I can tell you that some of the foreigners have been very successful in these areas, some have been great failures. People tend to remember the failures, unfortunately, more than the successes.

Two, does not the OM foreigner also think he is superior? You will constantly be thought of as thinking that you're superior. This is a big thing with these brothers. Sometimes they are justified because some foreigners do have an ingrown sense of superiority over Indians.

Other times they're not justified, but it's something that you're going to have to really believe God to help you get the victory. Three, I could speak, I mean, on each one of these, but we don't want to take that time.

You can ask questions at the end. Why do they expect us to share our problems when they don't share theirs? You see, we come out as the little white chiefs. Some of us think we're half-counselors and half-psychiatrists and half-disciplers and whatnot.

We want to get these brothers to share their problems, open up. That also makes us feel good because they trust us. We don't want to open up with them. Of course, I mean, I know cases where foreigners have opened up more with Indians than Indians with them, but it only takes a few.

And I think that it's wrong for us to expect people to share their problems if we're never willing to share any of ours. Four, Westerners, this is really key, Westerners cannot imagine the embarrassment we suffer as Indians when a foreigner speaks loudly to us in a public place.

Foreigners do not understand the horrible abuse the public showers on us as slaves of the Raj. Now, this is something you will never understand, just how much abuse they are given because they are working in what's considered a Western movement.

As Indian as we try to make it, it's still Western. A lot of our money comes from the West. The trucks come from the West. And I would tend to think, let's have an all-Indian movement. I'll tell you, some of the all-Indian movements have five times the problems we've got.

So I don't think that's a solution. The solution is Jesus. The solution is brokenness and the kind of life that we constantly talk about. But I want to tell you, if you're a quick-tempered person, you're going to have a lot of trouble in the Orient.

You're going to have a lot of trouble in India because they may not say anything to you at that moment when you plaster them, but they will guard it in their hearts. And if you ever do it, you must go back and apologize to them once every day for several days.

But you must somehow get it straight and rectify it. And some of our Indian brothers, our Western brothers have had quick tempers and it's really been sad. Really been sad. And my whole time in India, because God broke me on this in Mexico, this is the advantage I had, because God broke me on this in Mexico, I hardly once can ever remember ever losing my temper in India.

I knew that. I just couldn't. I just couldn't. Especially in public. You see, it's different if you take a brother alone and talk to him firmly. Brother, this is wrong. But it's another thing to do that in public.

And this is something we're really going to have to pray about on this ship because people are too afraid to plaster somebody in public. And right down the corridors in the ship you hear people going on, blasting off about somebody.

This is unheard of in India. Take the brother into your soundproof closet and talk with him. And beware of that tremendous danger. Praise the Lord, I know there are some foreigners who have been very, very open to correction.

But it goes back to what we've talked about day after day, that we're not only so open to be rebuked and corrected. Last night I was reading a chapter of my new book on litany of humility. If you haven't heard that tape, you may want to browse through it.

Listen to it, I mean. Because that litany of humility, if we prayed that prayer, that would solve this problem right here. We need to be ready to be corrected. We need to... When somebody comes to correct us or teach us or tell us, we need to want to believe as much as within us that he is right and we're wrong because that is going to be easier for him.

And you want the situation, if at all possible, to be easier for him. Try to really be open to correction. Now, some of them will accuse falsely, but that's of course what our Savior had most of his life.

Six. Why does the foreigner carry the money? Obviously, an Indian should pay the bills to avoid accusations from outside as well as get cheaper prices. Now, this one really hit me for a loop because I thought that I made it very clear in India that the Indians were to be in charge of the money on these teams.

Apparently, we've gone backward on that, at least some teams. That is not our policy at all. We'll all possible give the purse to an Indian brother. I'm sure that's not going on in all the teams. But it's also a reproach if you carry personal money.

Now, some people may get away with this on the ship. You must realize a lot of people on this ship that I would never let on any Indian team, to be quite frank. They're just not ready. And I may have my doubts about some of you as well, but I'm trying to believe the best.

But it may go on a ship, that personal money, but it does not go in India. I remember some foreigners used to go around cashing their cheques, a tremendous stumbling block to the Indians. The Indian brother's got nothing.

He's got nothing. And he's getting his one or two rupees from the treasurer, and if the treasurer happens to be a Westerner and he may get growled at, that comes out in the next question. He wants to buy something.

And then this guy goes in and cashes a cheque. All money must go into the Lord's treasury. We must be on the exact same level of the Indian brother. The Indian brother, and that comes up later on, if we need something extra because we're foreigner, the Indians here are playing for more honesty.

All right, we realize that, they say. Be open about it. Be open about it. Don't sneak around. Don't play the double role. Sometimes money is scarce. Greg has brought out this letter, feels one of the greatest problems of the work in India is lack of money.

Yeah, he pleads for more humanity on our part. And we know this weight of the need for funds has been on my head and heart, and I don't know why the Lord has kept us so close to the line, but I'm sure he has purposes in it.

Now, on one hand, there are problems. On the other hand, I think it's been one of the biggest character-building factors in the entire work. In everything, you must be able to see the balance. This is very, very important also to keep your own spiritual equilibrium.

When we request something like a pair of underpants, we get stern looks. And, of course, this is, I think, a little exaggerated. Carbon copies go around the world telling so many what we're asking for.

Well, I can see where this comes from. This comes from some brother somewhere who was really hurt by some kind of carbon copy, and so now he's sort of somewhat exaggerated the situation. But it is true, and the next one explains this, that we sometimes set ourselves up as little policemen.

You must not become hardened because your team does get robbed or because you do get a false brother. We must not become hardened to people. It's much better to be robbed and to be cheated a few times than to harden your heart.

The moment you harden your heart, it's better to get on a truck and go back home. You know what I mean by that? In other words, you become distrustful of Indians, and you're questioning every brother because he may have extra rupee or because you found him sleeping under a tree when he shouldn't be giving out tracts.

Just keep that forgiving and loving spirit. So, so important. You will have real tests in this area. Note, there is a tremendous general conviction among the Indian brothers and sisters that as soon as they are asked any question or make any remark, they are a marked man.

Their future is ruined. I don't know how many times I was asked not to tell anyone their name or people were afraid to bring up the subject because they were so fearful of repercussions. Have we caused this, or is there something in their background?

It certainly isn't very helpful. We are afraid to speak to a leader because we're afterwards a marked man by all leaders. Now, I think this partly comes from the fact that certain people share a struggle and a difficulty and then it gets shared among other leaders and then an immature leader or leader making a mistake feeds it back to the one involved and that hits him like a ton of bricks.

And I know of cases when that's happened. By the way, a lot of these criticisms, and I'll just insert this, that there has been just as strong criticism Indian against Indian. In fact, sometimes worse.

Some of the Indian leaders have made the exact same mistakes as foreign leaders. Of course, some of them have learned from us. But I think we must know how to keep a confidence. If someone shares something to you privately, well, I think you should keep it confident.

Or if you feel you must share it with a meter, talk to that person. Say, look, don't you think it would be good if we could share this together? It's very hard to find the balance in this, but keep alert to it.

Hospitality, Communication, and Mutual Respect

Why does the foreigner permit himself to be honored by the churches? Get special treatment when the Indians on the team are just tolerated. Perhaps he goes and has a tea with the pastor while we sit outside in the truck.

Well, last time I was there I had criticism just the opposite, that foreigners were refusing hospitality by missionaries and offending missionaries. This is a very ticklish problem. After all, when a missionary invites someone over, he's willing to have one Indian brother-in-law, but he can't usually handle a whole team.

And we've got into all kinds of problems, and I don't have the full solution. I don't believe it's total abstinence from missionaries and from the pastor's hospitality. I don't believe it's the foreigner goes and everybody else sits in the truck.

I believe perhaps there can be a rotation, that different ones could go with the leader at different times. More than that, it takes communication. Don't be afraid to explain to people why you do something.

Even here on this shift I've been amazed, even in the last day, some of the fantastic misunderstandings that come around, simply because people believe the worst before they find out what's going on, or why someone did this, or why they did that.

And it's really pitiful. It makes it very difficult, it does, for some people to survive. We're going to face this problem with the ship as we go into various ports, even in India. The foreign community is going to be very much attracted to this ship.

They're going to want to take us off. They generally won't particularly want any Indian brothers. This is where every one of us on this ship is going to have to really learn to make friends with the Indians.

This ship, if it does not become Asian in India, will be a failure and I will be the first one to auction it for sale in the next four years. I have no hundred percent conviction that ON is going to have a ship all its days.

I believe we're going to make it through and make this an Asian ship and a project that counts for eternity, but if it doesn't, if it ends up a fiasco, I'll be the first to offer it up for sale and put it in the Evangelical Museum in Wheaton.

I'm sure we can get some Indian American to buy it at a tremendous price as a museum piece for Evangelicals. Nine. We realize that foreigners sometimes need extra things. Why don't we just admit our weakness and then the team will understand?

Well, unfortunately, some won't understand, but it is better to go the way of honesty. I think that a foreigner needs to. I think a foreigner needs to be willing to share with the team his battles and his weaknesses.

For example, instead of pretending that you're abounding in the heat and then sneaking off and doing things behind their team's back to try to get relieved, to share with them that you're really finding the heat almost impossible and that you'd appreciate Pringer.

When a liberty is given to you, really thanking the leader. For instance, maybe the leader one day out of five does get some fruit on the team. Normally, you would have it more than that. To really thank him and say, that really, really helps you.

Appreciate that. All right. Why do the leaders just communicate? This would be criticism not just against foreigners but against all leaders. Why do they communicate decrees instead of why they want to do a certain thing or why we should be moved to a certain place?

Why do they move us around from team to team like pawns on a chessboard? Now, this has been a great burden on my heart. I've even sent some memos on this and I think we're going to see some changes in the future but I believe that our Indian brothers and their desire to go here and do this must be more respected.

We tend to respect it a little more than the foreigners but at times we do tend to push Indian brothers around certain leaders but I think this is something that we've really got to get down on. It's not so much for you to worry about.

On the other hand, oftentimes this appears to be more the case on OM than it actually is. Many times it looks like a brother is being shoveled from point A to point B and the brother is helped to be able to say to ones that he's leaving.

They say, oh, why are you leaving? It's the easiest thing to say, well, look, the leader's told me I should go. That's a lot easier than saying, look, really, I'd like to go. You see what I mean? That's how it gets out of proportion.

A lot of times these brothers have indicated they wanted to change, that they wanted to go somewhere and then we moved them but we moved them because we knew what they wanted. Oftentimes this is the way I challenge people to go to a certain place.

I find out what they want, the way the Lord's leading them, and I pray and generally the Lord just confirms that the way he's leading them is the way it should be. Then I may give the word, okay, so brother, you go there and that may appear to look like I'm saying to this brother, just go there off the bat.

When I've made that decision, consulting him, consulting the leaders and knowing full well that he was going to be happy in that move. Try to understand that. Sometimes you'll be able to explain these things.

Now, you need to realize that at times instructions will come to your team from a leader that you will think are completely up the pole. This is where you must communicate. You must obey as much as you can but then communicate what the problem is.

The balance between doing what the leader tells and liberty and guidance is a very difficult balance to find. Some people never do find it. We have different kinds of people. I have a few people, very, very few, who really seem to be willing to do anything.

Go to any field just as the lead needs but they're not 10 in OM in that category. Most of the people in OM worldwide go where they feel led to go but I think in a movement like this.

We need a few people who are ready to fill gaps.

And the fact that a few people are ready to fill gaps enables others to do what they feel like doing. It's amazing how miscommunication comes. My wife shared with me today how she's all worried because it looks like I'm going to take her back to Europe and she's afraid she's going to be criticized because she knows that some others would like to go back to Europe at this time.

It seems the matter what way you move you will be misunderstood. But I think it's something we really have to learn to be mature and realize that different people have different ministries and different guidance.

I especially would appreciate when you're dealing with me I can't speak for all the leaders so I know basically they're in agreement. But I wish that when you don't understand some decision that I make that you would ask for a clarification.

I am spending an awful lot of my time trying to clarify certain things but a lot of things I don't know about. So many things could be cleared up if you would communicate. Now this is the same when you're an Indian.

If you communicate especially to George Miley or to Thomas, look, why are we doing this? Get a clarification. What are the reasons for this? OM is very strong on doing things with reason. We're not one of these mystical movements where four leaders get together and pray and they get an hallucination and send everybody off on a...

I mean this ship is filled with six and a half years of research. The first thing I did within a month after getting the burden for this ship was to go on ships and start studying shipping. I can show you a letter from 1964 in which I ask some of the most basic questions about shipping and about the costs of a ship.

What we ask you to do in India there should be reasons and if leaders are asking you to do things without reasons I would like to know about it. Without mentioning leaders. This is what I need from India.

I haven't had anything like this for one year. I got a little bit, a little bit from one other brother. Maybe one or two other things, some from Hannah when she came back. But I don't get much like this, you know, really showing what the actual situation is.

And I'm responsible for part of this. All right, let's plow on here. What is the basis of an Indian being moved into leadership? How much is a man esteemed for his labors and work sake? For example, having worked for the team for seven years.

Spiritual Gifts and the Basis of Leadership

Well, you can almost see certain people involved in that question. Being with a movement a number of years does not make a man a leader. Now believe me, it's not just Indians that have such foolish thinking.

There are some Westerners. I know some Westerners that think you're in so many years in OM, you're a leader. To be a leader, you need to have God's anointing. You need to have the gift of leadership. Now you may be able to plug a gap temporarily.

Almost everybody in OM leads a team at one time or other. But that doesn't mean you're an anointed leader. And foolish is the man if he's been in the work even 20 years who lets himself in for leadership that he's not got the gift for.

It's a great mistake. And we have some Indian brothers that have been with us five or six years but they don't have it. They just don't have it. And they see other new leaders, new Indians coming in, going to the top and they wonder what's going on.

Well, this is of course immaturity, lack of understanding God's way of leadership. I praise the Lord for the leaders in OM worldwide. I want to tell you if you can get together a stronger group of 70 men in one battle, I'd like to see it.

I think it's a miracle. And one of the things that has impressed me is they're willing to step aside, some of the ones who have been 10 years and leave way for men to move up into leadership who have been with us only a few years.

George Miley who will lead this shift in my place, the ministry project as a whole in Asia is relatively new compared to Greg, Dale, Jonathan, even Ron Penny and others. And yet in almost every case people have seen, Greg mentions it also in this very letter here.

They've seen God's anointing. They've seen this brother has gifts. He has natural gifts. He also has some spiritual gifts and spiritual ability and it's only logical that he is going to go sweeping by those OMers who have been with us for 13 years.

And I've told people again and again that I must be ready myself at any time to turn the leadership of the whole work over to a better man. Someday it has to come and it's a fool who's not ready for it.

So, it isn't the number of years you've been in the work. However, people should be esteemed for faithful work, faithful labor and I think there are other ways to do it which we're working on. Indian leaders tend to get pushed into leadership fairly quickly.

They shouldn't have too much complaint on that point. On the other hand, there are all Indian movements with no foreigners where every Tom, Dick and Harry gets into leadership before he even hardly knows how to walk spiritually.

So, some of our brothers who aren't leaders see others who obviously don't have the same ability and strength driving around in cars and in big positions in leadership getting lots of money and it's hard on them.

It's hard on them. You need to understand that that when a lot of missionaries had to move out of India, some of these Indians really stepped into the gold mine. They moved into the big white mansions and they took over positions.

They took over big sums of money. They weren't ready for it and there was a lot of suffering because of that. A lot of people that are leaders in other Christian groups are getting five and six times the salary as our brothers.

Sometimes they feel it and sometimes their reaction is not as spiritual as it should be. Well, I hope you're getting some of these things because they're very important. Some of you are going to be thrown in places of responsibility in India far quicker than you may think.

You think you're going to go out to work under some mature leader who's going to teach you everything and within two weeks you may find yourself on a team and be the assistant leader. All kinds of things happen.

It's impossible for me to control or even predict and that's always been true of a movement that have been expanding and that are going through their growing pains. I hope we always have growing pains.

Cultural Adaptation, Gender Boundaries, and Christian Testimony

This is an interesting one. Why is it when we don't dare write to a sister we discover that one of the Westers is writing to one? Well, this is an area where the Indian brothers need to be oriented. It is their culture we are trying to adapt to.

I mean, I can always answer this one and they seem to understand it, but our culture does not say it's wrong for us to write to girls. It's their culture that basically does not go along with this and it's their parents that would be very concerned.

So, we have never pretended that we were as strict with foreigners as with Indians and this is an area where we have to explain that Westers are different, our culture is completely different. Most of our life we've been dating, we've been socializing and to say to a Westerner he can't even write to a girl, I mean it's just ridiculous.

We have tried to tell Westerners in order to unite as much with the Indians as possible, let us know what girls you're writing to and then also it is a breach for a Westerner to write an Indian sister and start cooing around.

This may be referring to that. But of course we know that some Westerners have broken these policies, but I think this is going to be one of the biggest struggles on this ship and I would recommend in self-discipline for all of you to start fellowshipping more with the girls.

There's a lot of interaction between boys and girls on this ship and if you want to prepare for the big day because I'm going to come down with an iron curtain on this ship, people are going to react but I don't care, they can get in the truck and go home.

I'm not going to have this ship socializing, chit chat in the middle of India. It will offend our Indian brethren and they can't come in on this. We can't bring all the Indian boys and all sit around the table, Indian boys, Indian girls, foreign girls, foreign boys and it just won't work.

And we will be, even if in some cities we go to, it would be understood. The total policy when the word gets out across India will bring a complete black mark against this whole world. Sure we can get away with it in the cities.

These cities, the whole culture is broken down, Indian girls will be coming up the gangplank some of them with short skirts on. But we have a whole nation to think about and we have spiritual counselors to think about like Bhaktasena and others who are very much involved in this work.

In order to, in this age, maintain a testimony in India you must be puritanical, you must be Victorian. And it's going to take some adapting but I would suggest some of you do it on your own back in the coming week before the curtain comes down when we arrive in India.

I know people are going to complain, people are going to say to me, I've had them, oh, I don't feel free, I don't feel free. Well, you know what, I'll tell you then, Mark. Unless you can just go back to the West where you can feel free.

But everybody knew this was an area where we were going to have to adapt. The same is true as dress. I want to tell you the dress on this ship still makes me sick, makes me sick. The girls have not even, some of them, stood to the knee length.

And some, I've seen skirts four inches above the knee on this ship. As many times as we appeal, well, we get to India, it's just out, it's just out. Because I know it hurts. The Indian brothers tremendously must begin to do that which we've been talking about.

Modesty is so important. I had a man in South Africa complain to me about the girls on our ship, the way they dressed, especially when they went off the ship. And we must, especially those of us going to India, be ready for a big jolt.

It would be no different in a sense if we didn't have the ship. The ship in some ways has been a slower let down into India. You'd have the same jolt to some degree. If you flew it, more if you flew it.

Look at the people that fly into Bombay, people that come over land by truck. You must really believe God for the victory in this area. Now, I will say a word here about love affairs among Indians. We have had a tremendously free time from Indian boys and Western girls falling in love.

So, if it weren't for our policies and our discipline, that would probably be one of the biggest muddles we have in the world. Now, first of all, we are not against interracial marriages. We are not against Westerners marrying, even marrying Indians as far as a legalized thing or a.

Biblical thing, but we are not convinced it's really ever going to work. There may be the.

Exceptions. We can't build policy on exceptions. Therefore, we do not encourage interracial dating or mixing of. It's amazing how God has kept us free in this area, and it isn't because they are inferior.

If anything, I feel that many of us are not good enough for them, but it's just that it causes confusion. It causes a lot of extra gossip. It's a tremendous problem to the children. Very few people calculate the problems that children face in these Anglo-Indian marriages.

Plus, the Anglo Indian is an unwanted person, that's a whole separate problem in itself in India today. They don't feel wanted by either Westerner or someone else. This is one of the reasons. You, of course, can understand why we must be strict even on the ship, because if there is this looseness and the smiles and all the friendliness between boys and girls, these boys will go wild over our girls, go right out of their heads, and some of our girls will go right out of their heads for their boys.

That has actually happened in O .M. more than the reverse. So, we say to people, if something really does develop, it must be laid on the altar, you must go back, finish your term with O .M., and then you can come back to India and you can marry this bloke, that's up to you.

We will give you our warnings. We will tell you what we feel. We don't want to get involved in it while you're in O .M. because it's just too complicated, but we're not, in a sense, legally sanctified.

I remember one girl, she was just about to marry an Indian bloke, and I said, all right, if the Lord is leading you, fine, but go back first, pray it through, and return. When she got back to England, this girl, she prayed it through, she realized it just wouldn't work, and he married a very good Indian girl, and she came later on and just really thanked me for speaking to her.