Episode 651: TLP 651: Graduation Day

The problem is that it's too easy to be deceived into thinking we know God and love God and are obeying God. That's why we need to continue studying the Word. Parenting isn't about us. In fact, parenting isn't even about our kids.

Parenting is just one way Christian dads and moms are to worship God. So welcome to the Truth Love Parent podcast, where we train dads and moms to give God the preeminence in their parenting. Thank you for joining me today on the conclusion of season 36.

This is our 10th year anniversary of podcasting, and today's topic is the first time I've discussed this. As always, you can find a transcript, links to related resources and the free graduation day life work in the description of this episode and on our blog, Taking Back the Family.

Now, believe it or not, this episode has nothing to do with graduating from school. Hopefully you didn't come here thinking that and hopefully people aren't skipping it because they think that their kids aren't graduating.

Graduating from Formal Biblical Counseling

So who needs it? I don't know. But the point is, what's it about? Many of you know that I'm a biblical family counselor and counseling will end with a counselee for many different reasons. For example, sometimes counselees want to end the counseling because they simply don't want to submit to God's Word.

Now, that's always sad, but there's nothing I can do about it. However, often the counselee is doing a wonderful job growing in the truths they needed to learn. They're not perfect, but they've been submitting to the scriptures and consistently self-counseling to remain faithful to God.

When we reach this place of consistent perseverance, it's time for the counselee to graduate from formal biblical counseling. Of course, I'll tell you, and I always remind my counselee, that informal biblical counsel is exactly what every Christian should be doing for and with each other.

The Bible calls it discipleship. We should all be regularly interacting with other believers in our churches to be sharpened and taught and reproved and rebuked and admonished and edified and encouraged.

We should have relationships with people older than we are and more mature than we are who can help us grow up into Christ. We should have relationships with people at our stage of maturity who can sharpen us and grow with us in accountability.

And we should be helping those less mature than us to become more like Christ. God expects these relationships to be alive and well and pervasive in the church. Sadly, far too few professing Christians in the average American church are actually doing anything that looks remotely like biblical discipleship.

Biblical counseling is simply a formal version of discipleship, and often it involves meeting with someone who's not from your church. Though I always argue that counseling from a mature believer in your church is always better.

Sometimes it also involves a fee. If a counselee has gotten over their main hurdles to the glory of God, there's no reason for them to continue to pay for that which the church should naturally be doing for them for free.

And sometimes the biblical counselor has proficiency and expertise in an issue that the average believer hasn't had to deal with or isn't mature enough to navigate to the glory of God. So once they've dealt with the issue, again, it's time for the counselee to move on.

Either way, eventually the counselee will be ready to graduate. And when my counselees are, this is the encouragement that I give them. But before we get any further, did you know that this episode right here, the one you're listening to right now, might be the very last podcast episode Truth Loved Parent ever makes?

I announced this earlier this year that when we celebrated our 10th anniversary, we were going to have to re-evaluate whether or not this ministry could continue serving God and families all over the world.

Though we desperately want to continue ministering, if we can't pay our bills, we have to close our doors. That's why we are trying to raise $100 ,000 in annual donations. That amount would lay a necessary foundation for us to pay our bills and create new resources for God's people.

Unfortunately, we weren't able to raise anywhere near that amount. Now, God knows and He's in control. That's why we're re-evaluating the situation and prayerfully considering whether or not He would be pleased by us continuing to exist.

So we're going to take a month-long break to pray and seek counsel. We plan to announce our decision in November of 2026. So if you would like to help us keep our doors open, creating these free resources and ministering to families all over the globe, please go to truthloveparent .com forward slash donate and become a monthly donor.

It doesn't matter how much the monthly amount is, everything will help. And Lord willing, we can continue to partner in this ministry. But first, we need to now consider whether or not your family is ready to graduate.

Testing Whether You Are Ready to Graduate

I know we're not in formal counseling together, but I don't want the fact that you're listening to this episode to make you think that you don't need counseling. You very likely do. Many of us do. However, everything you're going to hear is what I say to my counselees when they have grown in the areas in which they had previously been failing the Lord.

Whereas before they were sinning repeatedly in these areas, now they're being far more consistent and getting regular victory over those temptations. I always tell my counselees at the beginning of our sessions that it's pretty easy for normal folks to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and see some quick change in their lives over the course of a week or two.

But real change is consistent over time. That's why I encourage my new counselees to continue with their formal counseling for at least five months. Now, many counselees need far more than five months, but that's just a starting place.

That's the threshold where the things you should have been learning can become, at least start to become, spiritual habits. So, are you ready to graduate from whatever the current season of your life has been?

Well, have you been consistently living faithfully for the past six months? When you fail, do you respond in a Christ-honoring way by confessing, apologizing, and pursuing more repentance? Well, if not, then you still have a lot of work to do.

And Lord willing, one day, what I share with you today, now, will apply to you then. All right, here we go. Number one, here's the challenge. Our passage for today is 2 Timothy 3, 1 through 17. I'm going to work through the passage and comment on it as we go.

Continue in the Truth and Recognize Self-Deception

But realize this, that in the last days, difficult times will come. My friends, biblically speaking, we are in the last days, and God promises that it will be hard to bear. Why will it be hard? Verse two, for men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power.

This list represents the lust of the flesh. It runs counter to the holiness of God and the standard to which He's called us. This is what it is to live in the dark. These are the things He wants us to flee, the things we discussed in our last short series about God's plan for your family.

However, we must know that we can live in these sinful ways all the while holding to a delusion of godliness. That's what the Bible said. We can be self-deceived. Deep inside, we're denying the true power of God to rule us and change us.

But on the outside, we believe our lifestyle choices are aligning with godliness. So what does the Bible tell people to do when we are acting like that? Or what does He tell us to do when someone else is acting like that?

Continuing in the verse, verse 5. These self-deceived individuals appear to pursue learning and personal growth, and they may even proselytize others, but they never come to the knowledge of the truth.

In fact, they practically oppose the truth and those that speak it because they're depraved. That means they're corrupted by sin. Despite their own personal delusion, in reality, they've rejected God and will not make progress in their spiritual lives.

And those who know the truth will be able to easily see their personal delusion and the destruction in their lives. Now, there are so many things I could say. I don't want to take too much time, but some of you may be still in that position, not ready to graduate because that's where you're currently living.

But to those who seek the truth and believe the truth and are changed by the truth, we read in verse 10. Now, you followed my teaching, conduct, purpose, faith, patience, love, perseverance, persecutions, and suffering such as happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, and at Lystra.

What persecutions I endured and out of them, all the Lord rescued me. Those who desire to know the truth of God learn from every experience of life, their own and others, and apply the truth they've learned to every experience of life.

Continuing in verse 12,. Indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, but evil men and imposters will proceed from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. It's a hard but important truth that the natural consequence of truly living a godly life will be persecution.

If we're not experiencing persecution from those who deny the truth, we either don't know God or aren't maturing in our godliness. And if we're not living in salt and light in this world, we won't keep stride, we won't plateau, we'll actually become less and less godly and more and more deceived.

If we're not living in the light, we're going to live in the deeper and darker darkness. Then verse 14 says,. You, however, continue in the things you have learned and become convinced of, knowing from whom you have learned them.

In this verse, one thing is commanded and two things are assumed. The command is that you must continue to believe and grow in the truth you've learned. And the assumptions are that you truly are convinced of the truth of God because you know God, the source of the truth.

Again, the problem is that it's too easy to be deceived into thinking we know God and love God and are obeying God. That's why we need to continue studying the word. So as to grow in the knowledge of God, so that we can mature in our self-control and persevere in our godliness, which produces love.

Then Paul goes on to say in verse 15,. And that from childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith, which is in Christ Jesus.

Whether you have been taught the scriptures since you were very young or you've only just started learning the truth of God, if you've truly been interacting with the knowledge of God, then you should have been growing in your wisdom, which is the practical application of the truth you've learned, starting first with faith in Christ that leads to salvation through a relationship with him and then to faith in Christ that matures our sanctification in moral excellence.

And how is all of this accomplished? How do we continue in the things we've learned, reject the flesh, have faith in God, and grow in our godliness? Verse 16, all scripture is inspired by God and profitable, it means it's good for, it'll profit you in this way, for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.

Do you want to be a child of God who is mature, able to do every godly deed and live an increasingly holy life? Then you absolutely need to submit to the tutelage of the Bible. Only the Bible is inspired by God to teach us what is holy and what is sinful, confront us in our sin, help us repent from our sin and turn to godliness and continue in holy living.

Only the scriptures can introduce us to God and only the scriptures can help us better know him and serve him. From this day forth, you must continue in the things you've learned only as you pursue the knowledge of God in the Bible and submit to it.

Otherwise, you will become self-deceived as you hold to a form of godliness that allows you to live however you want, never experiencing persecution from the world, but also not experiencing the blessings of living for God.

The Eternal Life Work of Bible Engagement

And then after I give them that challenge to continue in the things they've learned, I give them number two, the life work. We could call it the eternal life work. You see, life work isn't something just for those in formal counseling.

It's not just for when you get in trouble or you're having something to learn. Here at Faith Tree Biblical Counseling and Discipleship, we only give life work that God himself already gives us. Our life work assignments consist of engaging with the Bible, praying intentionally, participating in church, and seeking to practically apply those truths to our lives.

Now, I've attached this life work document on our blog. You can get the challenge and the life work there, but I'm going to explain the life work to you now. We start with letter A, Bible engagement. I encourage my counselees to continue studying the Bible daily, the Bible which God inspired to teach you, reprove you, correct you, and train you.

In addition, they should also continue to hide God's word in their minds that they might not sin against him. This involves memorizing God's word. But it's not enough to just read the Bible and memorize it.

We need to interact with it. This may involve writing down what you've learned, but it must involve considering it and meditating on it. And it should definitely include discussing it with others. These are all things God directly commands us in his word or he illustrates in the scriptures.

Christians should be interacting with God's word as often as they can. Letter B, intentional prayer. I try to teach my counselees to mature in their prayer by embracing the six different kinds of prayers the Bible illustrates for us.

First, they need to continue celebrating God. The Bible teaches us that God is communicable, eternal, good, glorious, gracious, faithful, holy, imminent, immutable, impassable, impeccable, incomprehensible, infinite, jealous, just, he knows best, is loving, merciful, omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, perfect, righteous, self-existent, self-sufficient, sovereign, sufficient, transcendent, triune, wise, worthy, zealous, and so much more.

Each of those things deserved to be celebrated. We should also thank him. The Bible says that we should thank him every day and for all things, even the things that we're tempted to not be grateful about.

But when we sin, we need to confess it to God and ask him for forgiveness as soon as possible. The Bible also teaches us to advocate for others. Do you pray for your family members every day? Do you pray for your pastors, your governmental leaders, your co-workers, your friends?

Now, the category of prayers most people do quite well is the part where we ask him for things, but make sure that the things for which you're asking are things it would glorify God to do for you. The best thing to ask him is for wisdom to glorify him every day.

And then I think it's great to end our prayers telling God that we trust him and his plan, even if it's different than that for which we asked him. It's also a great idea to keep a journal of how and when God answers your prayers.

Church Attendance, Engagement, and Response

We have a whole series about how your family needs to go to church and what it actually means to assemble with God's people. I'll link that series for you in the description of today's episode, and I highly recommend you listen to it.

To make it simple, we need to attend. That's the first part. We actually need to get up and physically assemble with God's people. Online church doesn't work. But that's not good enough. We also need to engage.

The Bible is filled with commands to one another Christians. We're to be speaking truth and love to build up God's people into Christ who is the head. That means we have to be talking to people, engaging with people.

But we also need to respond. While you're there, hopefully people will challenge you or encourage you. Lord willing, your pastor is actually going to preach the Bible, and assuming he does, you definitely will hear truth to which you need to respond.

You will be confronted by your sin, you'll be challenged in righteousness, and you'll be called to maturity. Again, assuming your pastor is doing his job. If your church is doing its job, overall, you should hear something every week to which you must respond in order to please the Lord.

Church is designed to disciple us and therefore change us. If you're leaving church every week unchanged, then your church isn't doing its job or you're fighting the process. And then there's the final section, letter D, practical application.

Applying Biblical Truth and Staying Accountable

In this category, I focus on what we should be doing, how we should be communicating, what we should be thinking and feeling, and then I share resources to which to listen and or read. In the doing and talking section, I encourage my counselees to continue trusting God, living excellently, studying truth, submitting to the Spirit, persevering, being godly, engaging with God's people and discipleship, and loving everyone.

In the thinking feeling section, I write, when your emotions don't agree with the Bible, meditate on the scriptures until your emotions change. And then I provide some resources that will help continue your growth.

Of course, they're all secondary to the Bible, but we had a whole section about the importance of studying and memorizing and meditating on that. And then I tell my counselees that I'd like to do some checkups.

I meet with them one month after our formal counseling ends. I also meet with them after six months and one year after counseling. Why do we do this? Well, again, we're all sinners and every day there's a battle waging in our hearts.

We need discipleship and counseling because we too often follow our hearts. We do what's right in our own eyes and reject God's truth. We're definitely going to continue to be tempted in those areas and we're likely going to fall.

This is one of the reasons we need regular discipleship and accountability in our lives. It helps us not to slide back into old patterns. So I check up with them three times in the year following our counseling in order to get an idea of how the counselee is doing.

Evaluate if they're staying faithful and sometimes challenge them to be more proactive in their discipleship and formal counseling because they're just back to living in sin. Once again, I know that you and I are not in formal counseling, but hopefully after listening to the other 650 episodes of this podcast, which were designed to be like the first half of a counseling session, you have been learning and growing and changing and maturing.

And Lord willing, this is the exact challenge you need right now. Maybe you're not faithfully pursuing discipleship and accountability. Maybe you've become slack and continuing in what you've learned.

Or maybe you're just now almost ready to live the Christian life the way God created, called, and commanded you to live it. In community with God's people growing more and more into His likeness. I pray you are.

I also pray that this would not be our last episode together. I pray that we're going to be able to continue our informal counseling far into the future. I pray you'll share this ministry with others who want to glorify God and pray that you and they will support us financially in this work.

And of course, if you'd like to meet me with me for formal counseling, all you have to do is email us at counselor at truthloveparent .com or leave a voicemail at 828 -423 -0894. I'd be honored to serve you in any way that I can.

Continue in the Sacred Writings and Grow in Godliness

Now as we end today, you continue in the things you learned and become convinced of knowing from whom you learned them and that from childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to make you wise under salvation through faith, which is in Christ Jesus.

All scripture is God-breathed and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be equipped, having been thoroughly equipped, for every good work.

May you and your family pursue the Lord in his perfect word and grow thereby. Truth Love Parent is part of the Evermind Ministries family and is dedicated to helping you worship God through your parenting.

So join us next time as we study God's word to learn how to parent our children for life and godliness. And remember that TLP is a listener-supported ministry. You can visit truthloveparent .com forward slash donate to learn more.