The Crossroads of Final Decision — Don Wilkerson

Israel at Kadesh Barnea and the Crossroads of Decision

The crossroads of final decision, the crossroads of final decision. And this is taken out of the story of Israel at a place that I want you to remember, Kadesh Barnea, Numbers chapter 13. We'll kind of skip through this, but we'll begin first verse, then the Lord spoke to Moses saying, sent out for yourself men so that they may spy out the land of Canaan, which I'm going to give to the sons of Israel.

You shall send a man from each of their father's tribes, every one a leader among them. And then go down to verse 17, when Moses sent them to spy out the land of Canaan, he said to them, go up there into Negev, then go up into the hill country and see what the land is like, whether the people who live in it are strong or weak, whether they are few or many.

And how is the land in which they live? Is it good or bad? And how are the cities in which they live? Are they like open camps or with fortifications? And how is it in the land? Is it fat or lean? Are there trees in it or not?

Make an effort then to see some of the fruit of the land. Now the time was the time of the first ripe grapes. Verse 23, and when they came to the valley, this is now when they're going, they're in the land now, and they came to the valley of Eshcol, and from there cut down a branch with a single cluster of grapes, and they carried it on a pole between two men with some of the pomegranates and the figs.

Now please remember that cluster, that single cluster of grapes, because I want to focus in on it a little later on my message. Verse 24, that place was called the valley of Eshcol because of the cluster which the sons of Israel cut down from there, and when they returned from spying out the land at the end of 40 days, they proceeded to come to Moses and Aaron and to all the congregation of the sons of Israel in the wilderness of Paran at Kadish, and they brought back word to them and to all the congregation and showed them the fruit of the land.

And thus they told him and said, we went in the land where you sent us, and it certainly does flow with milk and honey, and this is its fruit. Nevertheless, the people who live in the land are strong, and the cities are fortified and very large and more old.

Enoch there, Amalek is living in the land of the Negev, and the Hittites and the Jebusites and the Amorites are living in the hill country, and the Canaanites are living by the sea and by the side of the Jordan.

Then Caleb quieted the people before Moses and said, we should by all means go up and take possession of it, for we shall surely overcome it. But the men who had gone up with him said, we are not able to go up against the people, for they're too strong for us.

So they gave out to the sons of Israel a bad report of the land, which they had spied out, saying, the land through which we have gone in spying it out is a land that devours its inhabitants, and all the people whom we saw in it are men of great size.

Moses' Recap in Deuteronomy

We'll stop there, and I'll ask you to go over to Deuteronomy, the first chapter, because this is Moses recapping the same events told a little bit differently, but nevertheless exactly the same event.

The crossroads of final decision. Let's bow in a word of prayer. Our Father, we thank you again tonight as we turn our hearts to your word, how we want to hear from you tonight, how our hearts are hungry to know you, Lord, through the word to know you, to draw closer to you.

Lord, you've been doing it here. When we thank you the way that you've been moving, you've been warming our hearts to move ever closer and closer to you. Lord, we thank you that you've called us into the promised land.

Lord, let no one here tonight, let no one here tonight reject the call of God to go in and possess that land from the Jordan to the sea. Lord, minister life to us, we pray. Anoint your people, anoint thy servant in Jesus' name.

If you look here in Deuteronomy, the first chapter, as Moses gives the account of the same thing, in verse 6 he says, And the Lord God spoke to us at Horeb, saying, You have stayed long enough in this mountain, or in this place, and set your journey, and go, go to the hill country, or go towards the promised land.

In verse 8, See, I have placed the land before you. Go in and possess the land which the Lord swore to give to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to them and their descendants after them.

Kadesh Barnea as a Geographic and Spiritual Turning Point

Now, follow me if you will. This is one of the most important commandments that God gave to his people through Moses since they had come out of captivity and out of Egypt and had left Egypt. The location where the command was given is called in numbers, Kadish, and here in Deuteronomy, Kadish Barnea.

Now, if I had an overhead projector tonight and I would put on it a map of the ancient biblical lands, I'd pinpoint for you exactly where Kadish Barnea is. It was a pivotal point geographically and spiritually.

And on the map, if you might picture, in fact, if I had a map, I'd also try to superimpose a map of the United States over it. And if you can picture in your mind Washington, D .C. as being where Kadish Barnea was, the promised land was northeast, or if you picture in your mind, New England.

And of course, to get into the promised land, you'd have to go through New York City. And so you might not have, some people might not have wanted to go into the promised land, but that's kind of the geographical idea.

And you would see from this that all Israel had to do was to turn right, make a right hand, a northeast turn from Kadish Barnea, and in about a little over a week, a little over a week, less than two weeks, they could actually gaze.

They could actually look upon the land that God had faithfully promised and provided for them. They would not only have been able to see it, they would have been able to taste it. They would have been able to touch it.

They would have been able to occupy it and to possess it, their very own Jewish homeland, the same homeland for which Jews the world over today love and revere that land, a land that wars have been fought over, blood has been spilled over it, and probably more wars will be fought over it, a land that all of us as Christians love and respect as well.

And the children of Israel had waited decades for the day in which the Lord is saying to them, as Moses records it here in Deuteronomy chapter one, and he says, turn, turn right and go. See, I have placed the land before you.

Go in, take it, possess it. The real estate deal that God had made for them was already signed, already sealed. It was ready to be delivered. All they had to do was to take God at his word, pick up their feet and march in and it was theirs.

Now they're going to have to fight for it, but God said it's yours. Now, because of the command that God gave Israel at Kadesh Barnea, and because of the importance of the command, Kadesh Barnea is called the crossroads of final decision.

Because it was there that the generation that came out of Egypt, they crossed the Red Sea, they had seen the mighty hand of God move on their behalf. They had seen many signs and wonders, overwhelming proof of God's delivering power as well as his love for them.

They came to Kadesh Barnea and their destiny there was sealed. That's why the location is called the crossroads of final decision. It was a critical geographic point. It was a critical historical point, and it was a critical spiritual point in Israel's relationship to God.

Now, not only was it a place, as we'll see, where they saw a single Caleb and Joshua brought back from their spying of the land, they brought back some figs and some pomegranates and a single cluster of grapes, which has some significance, and I'll point that out in a few moments.

It was also a place, as I said, if they made a simple right-hand turn, they could have entered into the fullness of the blessings of their covenant relationship with Jehovah that had been promised to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

Now, going into the land is a type, follow me now, it is a type of entering in to the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints, as it says in Ephesians 1 18. Therefore, in this sense, every one of us have been, or you are right now at Kadesh Barnea in your spiritual journey.

Some of you are there tonight. Some of you have come to this church. In fact, you've been brought to this church and God's been stirring your heart. You found yourself as you came to some of these meetings at the crossroads of a decision and God spoke to your heart at your Kadesh Barnea and thank God some of you have turned right, hallelujah.

I've been aware of that. We've talked about it, Pastor Bob and Brother Dave, we've talked about the people who have responded and we thank God for those who are hearing the message and we've seen them as it were in the valley of decision.

They've been there at Kadesh Barnea. It's a place where you either make a right hand turn or you make a wrong turn. It's a place where we either set our journey to go forward in God and into the fullness of Christ or we turn the other way.

Now, haven't you, you that have been coming here, haven't you been hearing the kind of preaching that is saying to you that you have stayed long enough at this mountain? You've been long enough maybe in a spiritual circle or going in circles.

You've been long enough at a certain place in your spiritual life. You've been long enough stuck in a rut or you've been long enough in a desert place. Now, turn and set your journey to go and possess the land.

See, I have placed righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Ghost before you go in and possess the truth that the Lord gave to your fathers. That's what we're preaching to you about. And you see, we're going to have revival on Broadway.

We're going to speak evangelistically. We're going to speak to lost souls, but God wants to build a people. He wants to build a people who have a heart after God. He wants to find a people who make right-hand turns, not left-hand turns.

The Tragedy of Unbelief and Disobedience

Some who have come have been, we've heard, they've told us they've been wandering in a wilderness of confusion. Some have been in compromise. Some have been admittedly in backsliding, some in rebellion, some in sin.

And so we're finding many, many people. And again, tonight, I'm sure it's the case that some of you are at the crossroads of final decision and God in his mercy and grace is giving you a new call to possess the land of truth that you have not possessed before.

And he wants to bring you into a full gospel. And let me give you later on, hold on, I'm going to give you a new definition of what full gospel is all about. Now, Kadesh Barnea could have been a place of triumph for Israel.

Instead, it became a place of tragic defeat. Israel turned left instead of right. They turned back instead of going forward. They turned their own way instead of the way of the highway of holiness that Pastor Bob spoke about Sunday morning.

Look at it with me, Deuteronomy, the first chapter. Here's Moses recounting it. Verse 26, the spies gave their report. It says, yet you were not willing to go up, but rebelled against the command of the Lord.

Therefore, Kadesh Barnea turned out to be the crossroads of fatal decision for Israel. It was a place of compromise. It was a place of unbelief. It was a place of fear, the place of rebellion, the place of backsliding.

And listen to a broken hearted Moses. Listen to him. Verse 27, and you grumbled in your tents and said, because the Lord hates us. Of course, that's a lie. He has brought us out of the land of Egypt to deliver us into the hand of the Amorites to destroy us.

Where can we go up? Our brethren have made our hearts melt saying, the people are bigger and taller than we are. The cities are large and fortified to heaven. And besides, we see the sons of Achan there.

Then I said to you, do not be shocked nor fear them. In other words, they said, we just can't make it. We can't overcome the things in our lives. We just can't live a pure life. We can't live a holy life.

Verse 30, and the Lord, your God, who goes before you will himself fight on your behalf, just as he did for you in Egypt before your eyes. And in the wilderness where you saw how the Lord, your God carried you, just as a man carries his son on his shoulders in all the way, which you have walked until you came to this place.

But for all this, you did not trust the Lord, your God, who goes before you on your way to seek out a place for you to encamp and fire by night and cloud by day to show you the way in which you should go.

Then the Lord heard the sound of your words. You know, it's interesting in my notes here, I typed that out from the new American standard and I made a mistake. And where it says, and the Lord heard the sound of your words, I put a W instead of the S.

And so it reads in my notes and the Lord heard the wound of your words. And when I looked at my little Macintosh and I was going to correct it, I said, no, wait a minute. That, that applies just as well.

The Lord heard the sound of his word, their words, and it wounded him. He had carried them on his shoulders. Now they're ready to go in. This was the divine plan of God. This was where the son of God was going to raise up and be the redeemer.

That's where the Messiah was going to come. Go back. Let me read it again. And the Lord heard the sound, the wound of your words, and he was angry and took an oath saying, not one of these men, this evil generation shall see the good land, which I swore to your fathers, except Caleb.

And also we know Joshua as well. And so for the next 38, next 40 years, that generation, which God called an evil generation for the next 38, 40 years, what happened? They, they moved in circles. They moved around in circles and they were on a death march until over a million or a million and a half died because he said, not a one of you, except Caleb and Joshua are going to get into that land.

And so for those years, they went until they all died out. And I want to tell you for the younger generation, that's a lot of funerals. That's a lot of funerals. That's a death march. And it was not until the new generation was born that we find Joshua chosen to finally lead a new Israel into Canaan.

Think of it. Now get the picture. A journey that could have taken if they had obeyed God and if they had made a Northeast right-hand turn, a journey of 11 days took them 38, 40 years to make. And my goodness, my friend, you can take your pick tonight.

You can get into the promised land the right way you can go on in God, or you can go in circles and pay the bitter price of all of that. But look closer with me at what took place at Kadesh Barnea and why the children of Israel did not go into the promised land.

And as we look at it, we'll see why the crossroads of decision is such a very important place in our spiritual journey. And also we'll see something about this single cluster of grapes that as I read this story, I got kind of hung up on and it kind of spoke to me.

And so I want to mention that single cluster of grapes. So what really happened at Kadesh Barnea? When God gave the command for them to go, the children of Israel did what they so often did and what we so often do with God.

They tried to renegotiate the terms of the contract. They tried to renegotiate the word that God spoke to them. Look at verse 22 of Deuteronomy chapter one. Moses said, then all of you approach me and said, let us send men before us that they may search out the land and bring back to us word by which we should go up and the cities, which we shall enter.

And the next verse, and it says, and the thing pleased me, there's a Moses. And so I took 12 leaders of the 12 tribes. In other words, he took 12 deacons as spies. And he said, okay, now, though it says that please Moses, I want you to know that it did not please God.

It was not God's will that they send in the spies. God acquiesced, God accommodated their weakness in the same respect. You remember when Israel asked for a King and he said, I'm your King, you don't need a King.

And they grumbled and they complained and wanted a King. And God says, okay, you've got a King and you're going to have to live with a King. And so God gave them the spies. It was not God's will. Look at verse 21.

It says in the King James, it says, behold, the Lord God has set the land before they go up and possess it. As the Lord God of my fathers has said unto the fear, not neither be discouraged. Now note, there is not one word about sending spies.

You see men of faith don't need spies. If God said it, that settles it. I believe it. Now, do you know what spies are? Do you know what they represent in the church? Now I'm sure that we have in every meeting, we've been having spies come into our meeting.

Now don't take that derogatory at all. That's not a challenge to you. That's not a threat. That's not a put down or whatever. But in every meeting we got spies because all of us have, I think a little bit of a spy, a heart of a spy in us.

Let me explain. See, spies are people who will follow the Lord. They'll serve the Lord. They'll love the Lord if the conditions are right. You see spiritual spies or church spies are those who make themselves the final judge and jury as to whether they will go on into the fullness of Christ.

In this case, the jury turned out to be a verdict of 10 against two. And in matters of faith, as you know, the majority are almost always wrong. Now, if God said to Israel, I'm giving you the land, it's good.

It's yours. I've carried you on my shoulders thus far and I'll carry you the rest of the way. Don't be afraid. Don't be discouraged. Yes, there's going to be hardships in the land. There's going to be giants there.

There's going to be difficult difficulties that you're going to face, but the key word was go and I will be with you. And imagine if you will, the nerve of the children of Israel saying, let us choose from men and check out what God promised.

What unbelief, what lack of trust. You see, spy out the land is an expression that we use even today and people in the world use it. They've taken it and you know what it means is that, uh, check things out before you make a judgment or a commitment.

And that's all right in the natural. If, if, if you invest today, I would, I would strongly advise you if you're an investor to spy out the land. It's all right in the natural, but in the spiritual, you don't spy out the land.

You see, church spies are those who say, I'm not ready to make a full commitment to God unless I'm assured of this or that. Spiritual spies are not ready to walk with the Lord except on their own terms.

They become judge and jury. Listen to me. They do not let the word speak to them. They speak to the word and put their own terms on the word. In fact today, and I'm not indicting all of them, but we have what we call word churches today.

And very often they are churches that do not let the word speak to them. They speak to the word and put their conditions on it. Now, if you want to live in compromise, if you don't want to walk in full obedience to God, there will always be a majority around who will agree with you and make you feel good about your own interpretation of the commandments of God.

You always find somebody who will say to you, no man can live a holy life. Nobody can go and fully possess Christ. No man can live in the fullness of Christ. You'll always find somebody like that. Now the spies got in trouble because they went with a majority report.

And Kadesh Barnea, instead of being a place of commitment, became a place of resistance to the will of God. Instead of going forward and onward, they went around in circles until all of the flesh died out.

The Grapes of Grace and the Fullness of Christ

And they made that decision in the face of undeniable evidence as to the good of the land that lie before them. Note what Israel saw and heard in the report that the spies brought back. Caleb and Joshua, when they came, I love this, when they came for their minority report, they brought visual aids with them.

Numbers 13 .23. Let me read it again. You don't have to turn to it. Then they came to the valley of Eshcolel, and from there cut down a branch with a single cluster of grapes. And they carried it on a pole between two men with some of the pomegranates and the figs.

Now get the picture. Here's Caleb and Joshua standing before the people with their visual aids. You talk about smart advertising. Madison Avenue would love to have these two guys. As they described their 40 days journey and their inspection of Canaan's land, they held up these giant-sized grapes for everyone to look at.

And the cluster of grapes was the largest cluster Israel had ever laid their eyes on in their life. So large that they had to be carried on a pole between two men. Now historians tell us, biblical historians tell us, that the grapes of Eshcol were positive proof of the bountiful fertility of the land.

They say that some of the grapes were so large, the vines that grew were so large, it would take two men without stretched hands to put their arms around those grapes, the clusters of grapes, yes. And that the clusters themselves were two cubits in length or twice the size from my elbow to the top of my finger, twice that size.

That's how large the clusters of grapes were. It is also said that if you took one grape, one single grape, and ate it, it would quench your thirst for the entire day. And when Caleb saw the grapes of Eshcol, he said to Joshua, he said, listen, they'll never believe this.

If we take this report back, they'll never believe us. Come on, let's take and let's have show and tell. Let's show them what this is all about. And so they did. Now please follow me. I believe that the cluster of grapes was and is symbolic of what we find when we decide to go on into the complete fullness of Jesus Christ.

Caleb testifies to the people and says, look, this is what waits us in Canaan. This is the evidence of the grace of God. To look at the giant size cluster of grapes was to be reminded that eye hath not seen, ear hath not heard what God hath prepared for them that love him.

You have heard of the grapes of wrath. I present to you the grapes of grace and of God's love wrapped up in that cluster of grapes. The grapes was an invitation to enter the land. It was an invitation to go on in God and to partake of the full inheritance of the saints, which God had prepared for them that love him.

The grapes testified to the goodness of God. Caleb said, we should by all means go up and take possession of it for we shall surely overcome it. In other words, Caleb was saying just to show you how good it is to obey God.

Here's a sample of what lies ahead of you when you go in to the land. You can take God at his word. Here's proof. One look at that giant size cluster of grapes tells you what kind of a loving, caring and providing God that we serve.

But you see Israel's conduct at Kadesh Barnea is an example of the refusal to embrace the fullness of Christ. Let me read it again. Look with me again. If you still have Deuteronomy open, this is a repeating of it, but I want to go over it again.

Verses 25 and 26, it says, and they took some of the fruit of the land in their hands and brought it down to us. This was Moses talking and they brought us back a report and said, it is a good land, which the Lord, our God is about to give us.

Yet you were not willing to go up, but rebelled against the command of the Lord, your God. Now, please listen to me. Canaan, beware of rejecting Canaan's land because it is a picture of the complete work of Christ, the fullness of Christ.

Now, many people today are refusing to turn and to set their journey to go to the hill country, that place that God has prepared for every believer who comes up out of Egypt, out of the world. At Kadesh Barnea is the crossroads of decision where we either turn and go into the wilderness of self-will and disobedience, or we go in and we possess the land and we allow the complete work of Christ to conform us to His image and to His likeness.

And God has Caleb's and Joshua's today. These are men who have gone before the people. They have entered themselves into the promise. That's why the cluster of grapes, as I read this, got a hold of my heart.

I said, God, I want to go into the promised land. I want you to give me a revelation of yourself. I want you to give me a revelation of truth. And I want to bring before the people tonight a cluster of grapes.

I want to make them hungry to want to go on in God. Hallelujah. That's what we've been trying to do at Times Square Church. And so they brought back from the presence of Christ, as it were, clusters of divine truth representing our spiritual inheritance.

And when Caleb and Joshua points to it, they say, let's go. Let's go forth. Let's go on in Christ. Now, you see, Canaan is not a type of heaven, even though the songwriters use that. It's not a type of heaven.

It's a type of Christ now and for eternity. Canaan is not what we're going to possess in the nearby and by. It is, Canaan is Christ in the here and now. You see, the literal history, let me just say this.

Biblical Types and the Believer's Inheritance

The literal history of Israel at Cadice Barnea, as you see, has all of these spiritual lessons or significance for us. Paul said this. He said, all these things happened unto them by way of a figure for our instruction and benefit.

And you see the Passover beginning with a Passover, the manna, the tabernacle, the priest, the sacrifices, the Red Sea, possessing Canaan, even the clusters of great. They all are historical types of spiritual realities.

And in Hebrews, this is what it says. Listen to me. It says there still exists a promised land for the people of God. And that promised land that the writer in Hebrew is talking about is Christ. He said, there still exists a promised land for the people of God.

Let us do our best to be admitted to that place and let us be aware that no one misses it through falling after the example of Israel who went against God's orders, Cadice Barnea. You see, to the Israelites, Canaan was a place, but to us, it is a person.

Blessed be the God and father of our Lord Jesus Christ who has blessed us with all spiritual blessings in Christ. Christ is our inheritance as Canaan was theirs. And you see the same call, hear my heart now, the same call to Israel at Cadice Barnea is your call tonight.

Moses said, this mountain has been your home long enough. Aren't you tired of living in a spiritual rut? Aren't you tired of living in a spiritual desert? You've been stuck there long enough. Get a move on.

We used to sing when I was a kid, the move is on, my Lord, the move is on. Moses says, break camp. One translation says, break camp and trek your way. In other words, get moving. Now, the destination of Israel was earthly, but the believers are spiritual and it's heavenly.

Israel's land had boundaries and limits, but ours has none. Their enrichment was temporal, but ours is eternal. But one thing has not changed. God is still calling a people today to turn right and set your journey and possess the fullness of Christ.

The Holy Spirit would say what it said to Joshua when he went into the promised land. He said, there's much land yet to be possessed. Now, let me just interject this. I believe based upon what I've just said to you, that we need a new interpretation of what is the full gospel message.

Redefining the Full Gospel

Please listen. The full gospel message, in case you don't know, refers to those who believe and preach that the Holy Spirit baptism and the gifts are for today. And we believe that. In the early part of this century, when the Pentecostal movement was born, those who adhered to its message were called full gospel people.

You see, at that time, there were those who preached no gospel. They were the liberals who didn't preach the blood, didn't preach the cross. And then there were those who were evangelicals. They preached to salvation and so forth, but they didn't believe that the outpouring of the Holy Spirit was for today.

And so the Holy Spirit was outpoured and the full gospel churches came into being. My grandfather was a Nazarene who didn't know anything about the book of Acts or the baptism of the Holy Spirit. And he received this experience.

And for a while, before he became an evangelist with the Assemblies of God, he was a group with a group called the come-outers. The come-outers, they were people had to come out of all these different churches and they had embraced the full gospel message.

Now, the term is not used so much today, but anybody who is charismatic or spirit-filled or Pentecostal is really a full gospel person. And yet, many of today's full gospel people are in fact not living or preaching truly a full gospel message.

Oh, they believe in the gifts. They believe in the gifts of the Holy Spirit. They believe in the baptism of the Holy Spirit. They may speak in other tongues, but something else is missing. And what is missing is the fullness of Christ.

In fact, they want to have the blessings of God. They want to have the blessings of the Holy Spirit, but without obedience to the cross, there is no message of righteousness and holiness. There is no repentance in their message.

And I say that we need to give a new reputation to the full gospel message today. Full gospel ought to mean just what it implies, not just living in the gifts, but living out the fruit of the Spirit as well.

Full gospel implies possessing all of Christ and having Him possess all of us. Turn with me to Matthew chapter 22. Turn over to Matthew chapter 22. If you were to ask me to define the full gospel message today in a few verses, let me give it to you.

What I believe it ought to be and what we've departed from. Matthew 22 verses 37 to 40. Here is a definition of the promised land. Here's the definition of the full gospel. And he said to him, I'm reading from the New American Standard.

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it. You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

Now, most people stop there. Notice what it goes on to say. On these two commandments depend the whole law and the prophets. In other words, if we truly are in Christ, we will embrace the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

We will live the principles of the law, the principles of the prophets, as well as the teachings of Christ. And this is what I believe it means to go in and possess the land. This ought to be the full gospel message.

That's why we teach you from the Old Testament as well as the New Testament. It's one book. I appreciate Brother Bob's teaching because he takes us into the prophets. He takes us through and ties it all in because in it, you learn about Kadesh Barnea.

You learn about going on in Christ and the fullness of Jesus Christ. In Numbers 14, 4, the children of Israel were not willing to pay the price of possessing the land. And what was their request? They said, find us, listen, they said, find us a pastor.

Find us a leader who will take us back to Egypt. And let me tell you today, you can even find it in the full gospel circles where there'll be a mixture. They'll take you back. And so they said to one another, let us appoint a leader and return to Egypt.

The Cross as the Way into Christ's Fullness

Turn with me to John the 14th chapter. I'm going to close with this. Here's another example of possessing, going in to possess the promised land. You've read this before, probably interpreted one way, but traditionally we do.

Go to the 14th chapter and back up a few spaces. How many of you know that the chapter headings are not divinely inspired? Go back verse 36. Simon Peter said to him, Lord, where are you going? And Jesus said, where I go, you cannot follow me now, but you will follow later.

And Peter said to him, Lord, why can I not follow you right now? I will lay down my life for you. Jesus answered, will you lay down your life for me, Peter? Truly, truly, I say to you, a cock shall not crow until you deny me three times.