The Bible says MEN lead your wives like THIS?

The wrong type of husband will say, Uh -uh!

Wife's meant to your husband!

Close the Bible.

Done.

But wait, there's more.

The wrong kind of husband can go to his wife and very, you know, forcefully pound his

fist on the table and say, You will read the scripture!

You will spend time with the Lord!

So when we, you know, very often say that the wife is meant to support the husband, that's really what that is.

It's two two -by -fours sort of leaning against each other, such that if you took one of the two -by -fours away, right?

You take the wife away.

What's the husband going to do?

What does it mean practically for a wife to submit to her husband?

Can you give examples like a disagreement on how to discipline children, where to go on holiday, or...

What a leap!

How to discipline children where to go on holiday, or if to have more children.

Yeah, this is a very interesting question.

So, let me go ahead and pull up my Logos Bible software.

So, if you guys are wondering, what is this software that Nate uses, you know, when he does

reactions, pastor reacts, and things like that?

It's Logos.

So, let's go to Ephesians 5 and we have the sort of the famous text here.

Verse 22.

Wives be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord.

Now, the wrong type of man, the wrong type of husband will say, Wives submit to

your husband.

Close the Bible.

Done.

But wait, there's more.

Verse 23.

For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church,

he himself being the Savior of the body.

But as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

Husbands are not of the case.

Verse 25.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for her.

Interesting.

So that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.

Now, what does this mean for wives to be subject to their husbands and wives to submit

to their husbands as we see this fleshed out in Scripture?

Not only here, but in some other places, right?

Let's go back to the beginning of creation.

Adam is made first, Eve is made from Adam,

and so therefore, there is a dynamic in marriage that is all throughout the Scripture

that, I would take it that we all agree here, finds its apex of

articulation in places like Ephesians 5.

What I mean by that is God wants, in the dynamic of marriage,

for there to be a reflection of the Trinity.

God wants for there to be a reflection of the dynamic that he has with the persons

of the Trinity within the Trinity.

He wants that reflected in some sense in marriage.

So, I mean, if you've heard me talk about this before with other videos, I've said marriage speaks theology, and

that's partly what I'm talking about.

So, in the way that we live our lives, even through marriage, we are doing some work to image the one who made

us.

Why?

Because he made us in his image, right?

So, what that means, then, practically, is that as Christ is the head of the Church, which is

a dynamic that we need to take into consideration with marriage, the husband is the head of the wife.

But wait a second.

Husbands, they are to be like Christ, then, in their marriages, right?

Christ died for his Church.

Christ gave himself up for his Church, right?

For her betterment.

And so, then we have this dynamic.

So, what I think we're supposed to see is a way of a husband to live his

life in a manner that seeks the best for his wife, and that requires a lot of sacrifice,

okay?

If a I'll give you a very specific example if a husband is very good at

having personal Bible study time in the morning, but the wife is not, the wrong kind of

husband can go to his wife and very, you know, forcefully pound his fist on the table and say, You

will read the scripture!

You will spend time with the Lord!

You will – I don't know why he sounds like that.

You will do – you will do that.

Like, very dictatorial, very authoritarian.

Or, the husband could, with the same goal in mind of trying to recognizing that it would be

wise for a wife to have time with the Lord and to develop that spiritually, on her own time.

To try to do what he can to love her well and

lead her well in modeling what that looks like while also being patient, praying that

one day she will recognize where she should be on her journey

with the Lord.

I think that's what that looks like.

And if I'm close, maybe I'm, you know, maybe I'm missing a few things here, then that

spirit goes into disciplining children, right?

So, let's say – let's do this in the reverse.

I think that's interesting.

The wife wants to spank because this is how she's always, you know, was raised as a child, and that worked for

her, and whatever.

But the husband doesn't want to spank.

Well, clearly, what is necessary is that there must be open lines of communication

between the husband and the wife.

I would argue that you should not do this in front of children.

I think that completely undermines your authority as parents.

So, this should be a private conversation, you know, behind closed doors.

But with the spirit of working this out, with coming to a place of agreement, you know, in that

dynamic, the husband should be extremely patient with his wife, recognizing that

her voice is valid, it's legitimate, it's important.

You know, when you go back to the understanding of how Eve was created out of Adam, you think of it

very Jewishly, which there's nothing wrong with that, but don't hear what I'm not saying.

I'm not trying to advocate you all to be Judaizers.

I'm just saying, like, when you get that picture in your head, this picture is more of two two -by -fours leaning up

against each other.

So, when we, you know, very often say that the wife is meant to support the husband, that's really what that is,

is two two -by -fours sort of leaning against each other, such that if you took one of the two -by -fours away, right, you take the wife away, what's the

husband going to do?

He's going to fall on his face, right?

So, what that means is the wife has an essential voice in the home, and

should be heard in the home, and should be respected.

In order to consider, like, what should we do?

What decision should we make that's best for our children, right?

And in that dynamic, I think a lot of great conversations can be had, but at the end of the day, after the

husband has sort of, and the wife has wrestled with these issues and sought to seek

the good of not only each other, but in this case, with discipline, the good of the children, and the husband has been

very patient, and he's been very Christ -like in this scenario, if the husband decides, I think we should

still go a direction that you disagree with, then the wife at that

point must submit.

She must submit.

Why?

Because the husband is the head of the home.

And the husband should be the leader.

Which is interesting, because I don't want to divert too much, but this is exactly the same dynamic when we get to preaching.

So, I actually had received an email, and it was basically, what do you think about women pastors, Nate?

Well, my answer is exactly, it tracks along the same thing.

That is that in God's economy, he wants the husband to be the

head of the dynamic when it comes to the marital relationship, to the familial relationship.

So, in a marriage with a wife and children, the husband is the head of the home.

He's the spiritual head, he is supposed to reflect the federal head that Christ has over the church and all that stuff.

Anyway, it's not an accident that when you get to places like the epistles of Timothy,

for example, Paul talks about what it means to be an elder, what it means to be a leader of the church.

One of the requirements of a leader of a church is to be in control of the

family.

This man should be in control of his family.

Why?

Because it's the same dynamic, if you think about it.

The same dynamic and the same way, the same relational, Christ -like, patient way,

gentle way, but also with authority, the way that a man leads his family

at home is the same way that he should lead his family at church.

And so, that's why you find Paul making these sorts of comparisons quite a bit.

And then you get into the controversial passages about, you know, women should be quiet and all that stuff, and I'm not trying to go there right now, but I'm just trying to say that's

why Paul appeals to the order of creation.

It's because this dynamic is important for the Lord and for the people who follow him.

And so, that's what that looks like.

You know, same thing if you're trying to decide, you know, where to go on vacation, it's the same answer, right?

The husband should never be dismissive.

The husband should never not listen to the concerns of his wife.

The husband should always in those moments seek the good and the betterment of his wife.

If he knows that that's going to be somehow, you know, emotionally or spiritually harmful to his

wife, that it would be better if he was a little bit more patient and sort of

chose to go a longer route to play the longer game on these kinds of things and be patient in that sense and not

push too hard for the thing that he knows probably is best for the family, I think he should do that.

I think there's all kind of space for husbands to do that.

And I've done that, and it's really difficult.

And I've done that very imperfectly.

And if my wife were in here, she would tell you, Nate does that very imperfectly.