Church Soup Ep:2024-09 (Werewolves, David Platt, an Epic Rant, and more!!!)

Welcome back to Church Soup, the greatest evangelical news show in the history of the Internet. I'm your host,

Keith Foskey, the Harbor Freight Doug Wilson, King of the Amillennialists, and little -known fact, doppelganger for an aging

Russell Crowe. Fingers crossed that I could one day be cast as the ghost of Maximus Decimus Meridius in Gladiator 3.

Here at Church Soup, we survey all the recent church -related news and events, mix them together into a hearty stew, and serve it to you in about 10 minutes.

We're going to start things off this week with a video from Katie Sousa, founder of Expected End Ministries, who teaches on topics such as inner healing, deliverance, and spiritual warfare.

In this clip, she's going to claim to have battled with what she calls hybrids, including real werewolves.

I've had a lot of encounters. I had an encounter with a hybrid. I've been on assignment to try to find it and kill it for many years now.

I'm just going to say that. I don't care. And also, I have dealt with shapeshifters.

I had a werewolf who is a shapeshifting person. This is real, guys. This isn't just the movies. Listen, I'm just going to say it.

Haunted cosmos, do you see what you've done? Brian, I'm looking at you, man.

This is your fault. I love you guys, but this is on you. Also, I've been told we have video of Sousa's werewolf encounter, which

I believe happened, of all places, on top of a delivery van. Check it out. Best werewolf movie ever.

Fight me. Moving on. Former relevant pastor David Platt has recently made the rounds on social media chastising

Christians for being resistant to undocumented immigrants coming into the United States. Christians in the

United States are the most resistant to refugees in our communities. Platt made a name for himself years ago with the book

Radical, which challenged Christians to rethink their commitment to the American dream and urged them to embrace a sacrificial, counter -cultural faith that prioritized global missions.

The irony is that the book about rejecting consumerism didn't keep the author from enjoying the life of a megachurch pastor with all of its trappings, including living in a million -dollar home, which as of this broadcast, has not yet opened any of its unused rooms to any of the refugees.

I can't help but be reminded that it was just a little over a decade ago when Platt, who at the time was a huge name in evangelicalism, was being chastised by James McDonald and Mark Driscoll for cutting goldfish crackers from the preschool budget in his church to save money for missions.

The preschool lady saying, we don't have to have this whole assortment of snacks for our kids. Like we can, we can do without some of these things that we're providing every week.

I respect that process. And so, and it was a great process. It was a very sanctifying process. I would not,

I would not say. I think it's sucktastic. Yeah. Well, here's what I'm saying. I think that the wrestling, no, it's not.

Okay. Now, now I know Driscoll has a lot of issues, but hearing him say taking crackers from kids was sucktastic is pretty great.

Staying on brand, Driscoll later threw out a veiled personal threat. You took crackers from my kids. I'd be doing prison ministry from the inside.

Also, was that Perry Noble and Greg Laurie? We had a little fluff to deal with. Cut people's salaries. Man, the 2010s were wild.

Well, at least we can all take comfort in the fact that no one in the room gave anyone else the bird.

In youth ministry news, the North Boulevard Church of Christ has an interesting advertisement, which has gone out on social media.

I'm literally in the boys bathroom here in the North Boulevard Church of Christ youth group.

All right. Hold on. You're already very close to crossing a dangerous line by filming in a boy's bathroom.

I'm going to let you continue, but tread carefully. Take a look at this bathroom. Seriously.

The collectibles. You've got Star Wars. You've got Star Trek. I mean, even above the urinals.

Check this thing. Wait to the 360. Check this bad boy out. Okay. I've seen enough. I believe this is the perfect time for another patent -pending church soup rant.

Listen, I love movies. I love movie memorabilia. I also love comic books. I have an entire box in my house filled with comic books from the 90s that I plan on giving to my grandchildren, if they'd be worthy.

I'm less than three feet from a shelf filled with pop culture memorabilia, and if you don't believe me, here is both

Knight Rider and the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Come at me, bro. And it doesn't even bother me that this is in a church.

I get it. Youth rooms can be fun. Honestly, I prefer this over a room plastered with pictures from The Chosen, because nothing says second commandment violation quite like a gallery of potentially graven images.

However, I have worked as both a youth director and a substitute teacher in a public middle school, and I can tell you one thing.

Their bathrooms are a horror show. I'm talking Wuhan wet market level gross. All right?

Middle school boys' bathrooms are more likely to contaminate you than a weekend camping trip to Chernobyl.

They're a germ buffet. The best way for a bathroom to serve its purpose is when all surfaces are able to be bleached, and by filling this bathroom with all of this memorabilia, you're creating an atmosphere that cannot properly be cleaned, and thus, instead of being an epic youth destination, you're creating an incredible Hulk -sized

Petri dish of germs that, like the Hulk, will probably mutate into a destructive force the first time it becomes slightly agitated.

And let's not even start on the selfie situation. If Maddie from Greensboro was causing a fuss with her

TikTok videos filmed near a public toilet, just imagine the photos that are going to be happening in the Justice League of America laboratory.

The last place we need to encourage selfies is next to the kid who had a Taco Bell binge the night before.

So ends this church soup rant. Baptisms are always a joyous occasion in the church.

Seeing someone being welcomed into the community of faith through the sign of God's promise of sin being washed away in the new birth is one of the most beautiful moments we experience in the life of a believer.

Unfortunately, the baptistry can also be a place of unintentional hilarity, which leads us to our first -ever church soup public service announcement.

When filling the baptistry in a church which uses the baptismal method of immersion, make sure to use an adequate supply of water.

If you don't, you may find yourself in the predicament of this brother here. Why did he think that was going to work?

Just remember, if you're going to immerse, make sure you have enough water, or what starts out as an immersion might end up being just a sprinkling.

When explaining the gospel, we often say the word means good news, but that the good news has to be preceded by some bad news, that we're all sinners who were separated from God because of sin.

But that's not so according to the pastor of Parkside Church in Charleston, South Carolina.

Check it out. And so if you were told that you were born a sinner, that your heart was deeply, desperately wicked, and that your sin separated you from God as if anything ever could, then

I'm here to tell you that you are beloved. Isn't it great when someone comes to the conclusion that they know more about human nature than God?

I hope it was a blast for him, because it was certainly a blast for me. In Roman Catholic news, the seven -year rites of penance were celebrated recently with many devoted Catholic men choosing to whip themselves publicly as a way to honor the assumption of Mary into heaven.

What in the name of Dan Brown is going on here? Now there's not a lot I can say to add anything to a video of what appears to be otherwise sane and reasonable men choosing to beat themselves publicly with whips and chains while dressed in all -white hooded outfits.

But with Halloween fast approaching, I do think it's important to add one word of caution. Penitent Catholic is probably not the costume you want to choose this year.

In political news, Vice President Kamala Harris recently stated that she believes that Twitter should not be a place for the free exchange of speech, saying it should be more like Facebook.

You can't say that you have one rule for Facebook and you have a different rule for Twitter. They are directly speaking to millions and millions of people without any level of oversight or regulation, and that has to stop.

And this is not surprising seeing as how Mark Zuckerberg recently acknowledged that Facebook bowed to pressure from the

Biden administration over the past four years to censor content which would be unfavorable to the administration, including humor and satire.

So it makes sense that Harris wants Twitter to be like Facebook, at least how Facebook used to be, as Zuckerberg has indicated that Meta, Facebook's parent company, will be more resistant to government pressure in the future.

And I just want to say this is a good reminder, folks, that if one side doesn't want a free exchange of ideas, they're probably not the good guys.

And by the way, if we want to keep shows like this one running, let's make sure we keep that First Amendment firmly intact.

Also like and subscribe. To her credit, Vice President Harris did have a rare moment of insight recently when she said that the age group most likely to vote for her, 18 -24 year olds, is actually stupid.

What else do we know about this population, 18 -24? They are stupid. Listen, 18 -24 year olds, you know you've hit a new low when this person is calling you stupid.

I love Venn diagrams. I really love Venn diagrams. You know, the circles, right?

And just think, she's currently second banana to this guy. And Corn Pop was a bad dude.

That clip is never going away. Thank you for watching this episode of Church Soup.

As always, I want to thank our friends over at Protestia for allowing us to use their videos which they spend lots of time cataloging, so go check them out.

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If you have stories or clips you'd like to submit for a future Church Soup episode, you can send them to us through our website at keithfoskey .com