Praying Well With Others

Silicon Valley Reformed Baptist Church

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Please turn in your Bibles to 1 Corinthians 14. This is a passage that many people know as being about the gift of tongues, but it is also a passage about prayer, and I thought it'd be good to take a little break from Isaiah and to talk about prayer today, specifically from verses 16 and 17, but let's read from verse 1 all the way down to verse 25.

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So if you'll please stand for the reading of God's Word. 1

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Corinthians 14, beginning in verse 1. Pursue love and earnestly desire the spiritual gifts, especially that you may prophesy.

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For one who speaks in a tongue speaks not to men, but to God. For no one understands him, but he utters mysteries in the

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Spirit. On the other hand, the one who prophesies speaks to people for their upbuilding and encouragement and consolation.

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The one who speaks in a tongue builds up himself, but the one who prophesies builds up the church.

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Now I want you all to speak in tongues, but even more to prophesy. The one who prophesies is greater than the one who speaks in tongues, unless someone interprets so that the church may be built up.

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Now brothers, if I come to you speaking in tongues, how will I benefit you unless I bring you some revelation or knowledge or prophecy or teaching?

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If even lifeless instruments, such as the flute or the harp, do not give distinct notes, how will anyone know what is played?

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And if a bugle gives an indistinct sound, who will get ready for battle?

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So with yourselves, if with your tongue you utter speech that is not intelligible, how will anyone know what is said?

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For you will be speaking into the air. There are doubtless many different languages in the world, and none is without meaning.

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But if I do not know the meaning of the language, I will be a foreigner to the speaker, and the speaker a foreigner to me.

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So with yourselves, since you are eager for manifestations of the Spirit, strive to excel in building up the church.

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Therefore, one who speaks in a tongue should pray that he may interpret. For if I pray in a tongue, my spirit prays, but my mind is unfruitful.

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What am I to do? I will pray with my spirit, but I will pray with my mind also. I will sing praise with my spirit, but I will sing with my mind also.

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Otherwise, if you give thanks with your spirit, how can anyone in the position of an outsider say amen to your thanksgiving when he does not know what you are saying?

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For if you may be giving thanks, for you may be giving thanks well enough, but the other person is not being built up.

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I thank God that I speak in tongues more than all of you. Nevertheless, in church I would rather speak five words with my mind in order to instruct others than 10 ,000 words in a tongue.

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Brothers, do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature. In the law it is written, by people of estranged tongues and by the lips of foreigners will

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I speak to this people. And even then they will not listen to me, says the Lord. Thus tongues are a sign not for believers, but for unbelievers.

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While prophecy is a sign not for unbelievers, but for believers. If therefore the whole church comes together and all speak in tongues and outsiders or unbelievers enter, will they not say that you are out of your minds?

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But if all prophesy and an unbeliever or outsider enters, he is convicted by all. He is called to account by all.

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The secrets of his heart are disclosed. And so falling on his face, he will worship God and declare that God is really among you.

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You may be seated. Dear Heavenly Father, I ask that you would open our eyes to see this passage clearly, that you would help us as we come to you in prayer to think rightly about prayer, and that your word would guide us.

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I pray that your spirit would lead us into all truth as we consider your words. In Jesus' name, amen.

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So this topic and this passage has come up several times in the orientation class during Sunday School over the past few months, and I usually have a whole lot to say about it.

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I thought, you know, rather than trying to cram all that in each time this comes up, why not have a message about it before prayer?

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So I would like us to consider these passages and what they say about praying well with others.

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You've heard of playing well with others? Like kids play well with others? I want to teach you how to pray well with others.

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Now the point in the confession where this comes up, I figure I'll just read it to you to explain why I thought of this.

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It says in 22 .3 in the confession, Prayer with thanksgiving is an element of natural worship, and so is required by God of everyone.

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But to be acceptable, it must be made in the name of the Son, by the help of the Spirit, according to His will. It must be accompanied by understanding, reverence, humility, fervor, faith, love, and perseverance.

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Prayer with others must be in a language that is understood. So you have that statement there that feels like it was pretty disconnected from everything else.

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Prayer with others must be in a language that's understood. And how often does that come up, that you should pray with others in a language that's understood?

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Why is that such an important thing to point out? And I think there's a lot more to it than just praying in tongues, or praying in a language that other people don't understand.

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There is a lot that is implied by that phrase and by what we see in the confession about building each other up and praying in a way that other people can have their hearts stirred, have their souls pierced, and say amen to what is being prayed.

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And that that should guide our prayers as we pray with each other, that we want to amplify the amen.

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We want to build each other up in prayer. So let's, let's begin considering that with verse 16.

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Otherwise, if you give thanks with your spirit. Now, in this passage, he's distinguishing between spirit and mind, or in some translations, understanding.

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Now, what is he referring to when he's talking about the spirit? I don't believe he's talking about the Holy Spirit, because it would be fairly unusual for Paul to speak of the

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Holy Spirit as my spirit. And you see the translators don't think that either, since they keep it lowercase.

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But then what is the spirit? Is it the immaterial, constituent part of man?

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That seems problematic, too, because what is the mind other than an immaterial part of you? So Paul is not speaking just of the spirit in general, the way we think of it.

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I think he is specifically referring to our faculty to be used by the spirit in spiritual gifts.

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All right. So it's a specific faculty of the spirit that he speaks of when he refers to the spirit here.

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And then he continues. He says, How can anyone in the position of an outsider say amen to your thanksgiving?

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So if someone in the position of an outsider. So maybe this has in mind someone who has come into the congregation from outside.

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But previously, when he's comparing foreigners, he's saying, you know, I would be a foreigner to you and you would be a foreigner to me if we don't speak the same language.

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I think what he has in mind here is simply one who is unaware. The word used here is idiotes, which is where we get the word idiot from.

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It's just referring to one who is uninitiated, who is ignorant, who does not know what is being said. So I don't think we have to think of this strictly as being someone who is unaware that this usually happens.

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It's someone who is unaware of what you're speaking. Someone who is unaware of what you are saying cannot be built up.

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How can they say amen to your thanksgiving? You know, when we pray, when we give

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God thanks, we are acknowledging our dependence on him and our reliance on him and others should be able to unite around that and say amen.

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Amen, meaning yes, let it be. You see this word pointed out not only here, but also in Second Corinthians.

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In Second Corinthians 1, Paul talks about the importance of the amen, that we should be able to, with each other, say amen.

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He talks about his own honesty and his sincerity that as he comes, and I think we're going to be talking about this in home group this weekend, this week, this particular passage in Second Corinthians 1, that he speaks sincerely that we might be able to say amen together and that God, who is truth himself, speaking through his apostle, can be trusted.

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So it's important that we speak in a way that we can unite around a particular truth rather than uniting around something that has no truthness or falseness to it at all or some uncertainty to it.

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How can you say amen to your thanksgiving when he does not know what you are saying? For you may be giving thanks well enough, but the other person is not being built up.

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And this is the key. The key to praying well with others is building each other up.

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You want to pray with others in a way that builds them up, that not only delivers information, but delivers the right information that causes them to also thank the

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Lord, that causes them to also plead with the Lord as they ought, causes them to be reliant on him to recognize his prerogatives and to conform their will to his will, which is one of the activities we do as we pray.

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We are conforming our will to his will. Wrestling with God is one of the ways the Bible speaks of prayer.

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Conforming our will to his. So we want to pray in a way that builds each other up. Now, let's go through just a list.

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I have ten things. It just happens to be ten. Ten ways that you can pray or that you should consider could be violations of how to pray in a way that does not build each other up.

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I said all that wrong. Too many double negatives. But you hear what I'm saying. So first of all is the very obvious one here in 1

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Corinthians is praying in tongues. If you have the gift of tongues and you're praying around someone else who does not know what you are saying, you would not be building them up.

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Now, there is this other question of do the gift of tongues, does the gift of tongues still continue?

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And I think the answer to that is no. But I don't want to get into that too much, but to say that if there is no, if you are not speaking in a way that someone else can understand, you would not be building that person up.

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That other person could not say amen to what you are saying. I grew up in the assemblies of God in Pentecostalism, and this was honestly the first thing that led me to question whether or not this was a legitimate movement.

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Because I grew up thinking that, hey, we speak in tongues. I didn't personally, but my church speaks in tongues, and this is a good thing.

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And all these other churches don't. This is a real mark that we've really got it here. But then, when

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I finally read this passage as a child, and said that if you do pray in tongues, there always needs to be an interpreter.

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And I was surprised, because there was occasionally, but it was pretty rare. And when I visited other churches that were of that variety, it was the same thing.

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Very rarely an interpreter, very rarely a concern to make sure that what was being spoken was understood.

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So that led me to realize that there was a problem with that. If the only people who were doing it right were also doing it wrong, yeah, that kind of falls apart quickly.

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So that other question, well, what if you do have the gift of tongues? Like I said, I think, well, first of all, let me just give you,

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I could talk a while about why they are not a continuing gift.

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But let me just point out two things. First of all, as I was growing up, just an experiential example, as I was growing up, and people were praying in tongues, and there were interpreters,

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I noticed the interpreters would always say roughly the same thing, depending on who was interpreting.

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It didn't matter who was speaking. The interpreters always said roughly the same thing. You know, when this lady would interpret, she would always say the same thing she would usually say.

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And when this person would interpret, she would always say the same thing she would usually say. But it didn't really matter which person was speaking in tongues.

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And that struck me. That struck me that it seemed to be what the interpreter was saying rather than what the person was saying.

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And now a biblical example, or a big biblical argument, the gift of tongues is clearly shown in Acts 2 to be people speaking in other human languages where others around can understand.

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And what people today claim to be the gift of tongues is something very different than what you see in Acts 2.

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So that's another reason to discount that. So regardless, that's one.

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That's the most straightforward example. Secondly, and this comes close on the heels of that one, is not praying in a language that someone doesn't know around them.

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So forget the gift of tongues a minute. We've got this international crowd right here. A lot of you speak multiple languages, and maybe

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English isn't your first language, and you're around others who don't speak your language, and you feel that it's just easier to pray in your language.

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Maybe that's okay to do in a group. This passage would tell you otherwise. It is the

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Lord's will that we pray in a way that builds each other up, and so you want to pray in a language where other people understand.

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I was very recently at a seminar about reaching out to Afghan refugees, and they decided it would be a good idea at the very end, and this is mostly not

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Afghans in the audience. At the very end, they had a man come up and say the final prayer in Dari, which is his native language, and so he says this prayer, and then at the end, everyone says amen to this prayer.

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I didn't say amen because I didn't know what he said. I could not say the amen with him.

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A lot of people might think that, well, that's a great gesture. Let's pray in this language and hear that prayer out in this language as we pray for the

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Afghan people. That was not a prayer that built each other up. Another way that this is violated often is by praying in a way that makes a big show, and this is what

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Paul's concerned about is showing off, praying in a way that makes a big show where everyone is praying at the same time loudly, out loud.

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I've heard this called a Korean -style prayer, and so I looked this up recently. It turns out it is a Korean thing called a tongsoon kido, where people pray in a circle all at the same time, and I was part of a group once that suggested we do this, and so everyone's just praying kind of as loud as they can over top of each other, and it's hard to hear your own thoughts.

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You're not being built up by each other's prayers. You might feel a little excited that God's doing something, but are you really being built up if you can't understand what's being said?

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I would point to this, and I would say this is what Paul talks about when he's talking about the lifeless instruments not playing distinct sounds.

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If they're all playing at the same time and they're not harmonious, they're not being played in a way that someone can appreciate their musical quality.

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No one is built up by that. Continuing on, mumbling.

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This is one more for children. Children, my own children, when we pray, and it's very tempting for children because they don't feel comfortable praying out loud.

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You know, it's not something they're used to doing a whole lot, and so kind of be very quiet and mumble along.

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This is a good opportunity if you want to build each other up. You should pray loudly and clearly, moreover, so that people can understand you.

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And along with that, praying quietly would also be a violation of this. If you're someone who has a soft voice, pray in a way that other people can understand you and hear you so that they can say amen confidently to what you said.

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If you leave them thinking, well, maybe I understood what that person said, then how confidently can they say amen to that?

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And are they being built up by that prayer? Another way that you can make your prayers more inclined to build people up is by making your prayers less private.

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And what I mean by that is, well, let me take a step back and say something I should have said earlier.

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You know, there's something very special about us coming and praying together. Jesus said in Matthew 6 that you should pray not to be seen by others, right?

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And you should go to your prayer closet, et cetera. Why is it that when we gather to pray together, there's a reason we're doing it?

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Because otherwise, if there weren't a reason, we should just, you know, go away and do it without being seen.

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But we pray together in order to build something up. We should be thinking about how we're praying specifically in a way that builds each other up.

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Now, making your prayers less private, what I mean by that is praying in ways, once again, that people can recognize what's being said and say amen to this.

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For example, in the Lord's Prayer, you have— well, let me step back from that.

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A lot of people might be inclined to talk about their own sins while they're praying, and it's good to confess our sins.

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You know, we do that regularly here. But if you pray about your own sins in such a specific way that the other person doesn't know whether or not— doesn't understand the situation, or maybe you're inclined to beat yourself up in prayer or something like that, and they don't know whether they can say amen to this, pray in a way that everyone else can certainly affirm, yes,

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I want to agree with this, and yes, Lord, I agree with this prayer.

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So along with that, you want to focus, ideally, when we're praying together as a church, on the first three petitions of the

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Lord's Prayer. The first three petitions are, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done.

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You know, we're praying for God's glory, and while it is certainly appropriate, and we do pray about confession of sins, about forgiveness to be spared from temptation, for our daily bread to be provided, while we pray for all those things here together, there is a primacy when we are gathered as a church to pray for our mission as a church.

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And so have that in mind, too, when we are praying well together, that we pray primarily for that work that we are doing together as a church.

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There's a reason we have our prayers structured in the afternoon like we do at crescendo is up to, praying for the mission of this church and for the gospel to go out to the world.

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You want to pray according to the will of God. James says that many times you do not have because you do not ask, and when you do ask, you ask so that you can spend it on your own passions.

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We should pray in a way that is according to God's will, that acknowledges that all things that he gives are ultimately for his glory.

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You can look at the Psalms and you can see how David prayed. David prayed appealing to God's mercy for his namesake.

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David prayed in a way where he understood that ultimately this was not merely for him but for God.

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He appealed to God's very character when he made his prayers. He said, the dead do not praise you, right?

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The dead, in other words, one who has not been granted the answer to the prayer, the one who has not been saved, has no special reason to thank

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God, but one who has been saved by God has a very special reason to thank God. So he prays so that we may give you thanks for this answer to prayer.

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That's a good thing that you can pray in your prayers, praying according to God's will. And when you're praying with others, you can pray in a way that their will will also be conformed to God's will as you pray according to what

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God has revealed in Scripture. Then you can pray enthusiastically.

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Think about what you're doing, right? You're coming before the living God. That's a very exciting thing to do. And if you pray in a way that suggests we're just repeating things in some sort of chant or some sort of rote ritual and not coming before the living

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God, that sets the tone for others. But we can build each other up by praying in a way that's enthusiastic and then beyond that praying in a way that's eager.

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A lot of times when you're sitting in a prayer circle, people will wait and wait and wait and then, well, if nobody else is going to pray,

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I guess I'll pray too. I guess I'll be the next one to go. No, if we pray eagerly, that encourages others to pray eagerly.

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That also builds up. So these are many different ways that we can pray in a way to amplify the amen, to build each other up.

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And we should not miss this opportunity. It's a great opportunity we have to gather with each other and to build each other up.

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You might not be called to other kinds of ministry work. You might not be called to preach or to be a missionary, but you have been called to pray with your fellow church members and this is a way that you can edify them, that you can once again build them up.

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Now, in considering these things, I'd like to guard against the idea that this is what makes prayer acceptable, following all these 10 rules that I've given, like 10 commandments.

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No, remember that Jesus Christ has died on the cross for the sake of those who trust in him.

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So he has risen from the dead and sits at the right hand of God the

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Father and intercedes for us, as it says in Romans 8 .34. If he intercedes for us, the reason why our prayers are acceptable is not because we have fashioned our prayers perfectly.

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In fact, none of our prayers are perfect and none of them on their own are acceptable to God. It is only in Jesus Christ that they are acceptable.

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As we offer them up and he intercedes, meaning he mediates those prayers, he prays for us that God would accept our prayers.

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It is because of that that God accepts our prayers and in the same way, God accepts our very selves.

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Our very selves are not, ourselves inherently are not acceptable to him, but clothed in the righteousness of Christ, we become acceptable to him.

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And this is the reason why it is so important to pray in a way that builds each other up, not because when we do so, that's what makes us or our prayers acceptable to God, but because as we strive for this, we point each other to their need for Christ and to that savior, the one who does not, the one who just, for example, one thing people do is just pray the

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Lord's Prayer over and over and over until it's meaningless, even though Jesus said when he gave the Lord's Prayer not to do this.

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They pray in a way where their mind is not active. They are not really coming to the

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Lord in trust. One who is just using, yeah, is just muttering something to themself and thinks that that's a mode of prayer, but not really engaged with the mind.

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Are they really coming to the Lord in trust? And God would have it be that he would be glorified in our weakness as we realize that we are nothing apart from the graces and the mercy of Jesus Christ.

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So when we build each other up in prayer, we are not making ourselves more acceptable to God.

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Rather, we are recognizing our need for Jesus Christ, our need for our prayers to be acceptable, our need for our own selves to be acceptable, and we are pointing others to that need.

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As we pray enthusiastically, as we pray according to God's will, as we pray thanks that others can understand, we are praying something to point others to their need for Christ and to point ourselves to our need for Christ.

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We are saying, Christ, I rely on you so much for everything.

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Thank you for what you have done. It is only by you that we will have our needs met, and that is why we pray according to your will.

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And as we pray in this way, we do not just ourselves turn our eyes to Christ, but others who are hearing turn their eyes to Christ, and it is only then that we begin to really experience and appreciate

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God's mercy as we recognize our own need for him. So let us pray in a way that builds each other up not because that is what makes our prayers acceptable, but because it is only in Christ that we are acceptable at all, and it is only by looking to him that we can experience the great joy of relying on him and having those prayers answered.