Hilarious Christian Comedian!

Apologia Studios

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00:01

If you guys don't know who I am, I'm a, well, do you guys have cable? So you probably don't know who

00:08

I am if you have cable. I'm a local comedian here in Arizona. I started doing clean comedy about six months ago, so if I let out a few cuss words, keep praying for me.

00:22

This is church, I'm supposed to be honest with you guys. I used to be Catholic, so I'm used to confessions. Yeah, you guys.

00:30

I'm a little tired. Me and my wife, we just had our baby. She's three months old now. Thank you.

00:38

I'm just happy to be out of the house right now. My wife thinks I left to throw the garbage. Yeah, don't tell her where I'm at, please.

00:47

You know what's funny is our first child, and I didn't know what to expect, so while we were in the delivery room before she actually delivered,

00:56

I didn't want to leave her side. I would not leave her side. She was actually in labor for two days.

01:02

I would not leave her side, and finally the nurse convinced me to leave. She said, you need to go get yourself something to eat and something to drink.

01:09

I probably look how I look now then. She said, you look flushed. The baby's not going to come for another 12 hours, so just go ahead and leave.

01:16

So me and my brother went, and as soon as we sat down to get our food, my wife calls. She says it's go time, but I just got my food.

01:28

And if you look at me, you can tell what decision I made. So after we wrapped up lunch, we drive to the hospital.

01:36

True story. After we wrap up lunch, we go to the hospital, and I'm a little freaked out.

01:42

I don't know what to do. This is my first child, and my brother's looking at me. He's like, dude, you have to run. Go. I'm like, I have to run?

01:48

He's like, run! So I'm going like eight, nine steps into it, and my brother passes me, and he's walking.

02:00

I finally get into the delivery room, and they're getting ready to start, and I am so flushed and out of breath.

02:06

I sit down. They have to give me oxygen. So I'm sitting in there. You guys know how it goes.

02:16

I missed the delivery of my baby girl. No, you don't have to. Oh, I have pictures. Most of you guys liked them on Facebook.

02:25

Thank you, guys. So I'm Anthony. My wife is not here. Here she is with our three -month -old.

02:31

We do have a great lineup for you guys. Not all comedy, but in all seriousness, this is a great place to have this discussion.

02:40

Tomorrow there's going to be a lot going on, so I hope you guys are still going to show up. We'll show up tonight. Going to be here tomorrow. Just so you guys are aware, for the question and answers phase, we're going to take a break right before then, and there's going to be cards and pens in the back.

02:55

So during that break, please allow the speakers to go back and regain themselves.

03:00

You guys write down your questions. Make sure you put down who the question is to. Please make sure they're in a question format.

03:09

After you have your question down, you're going to find Luke Pearson. Luke's in the back if you can see his hands.

03:16

Yeah, he's actually sitting down. He's still that tall. You're going to give your questions to Luke. Just know

03:21

Luke is going to go through the questions, and he can be bought... or not.

03:29

Tough crowd tonight. And again, just some general house rules, you guys.

03:37

Applaud when appropriate, but please no heckling. I'm looking at this group. No heckling.

03:44

Applaud when necessary, and just enjoy yourself. Start thinking of your questions now, you guys, and as they speak, get some things going.

03:52

I don't want you guys to lose out on this opportunity to ask questions during this time. And tip your waitresses, you guys.

03:58

Two drink minimum. I used to go to Joel Osteen's church, too, so this is kind of still stuck in my head.

04:08

Drop your tithe off in the back. If you guys want me to pray for you, it's a $10 surcharge. We do take

04:13

Visa, MasterCard. No checks, though. No personal checks. Yeah.

04:20

Yeah, those got stolen the last time we did that. You guys heard about it. Look at you

04:25

Bible nerds laughing, and the rest of you guys are like, I don't know. That's cool.

04:31

They got the one guy laughing over here. I came to make you laugh, sir. I'm loving the beard. If you see beards, we probably all know each other.

04:38

We all hooked up. If you don't have a beard, they're in the back. We're going to sell them to you as well. They are mandatory for you to be within the first five rows.