How Christians Grieve

Good afternoon and welcome to the dividing line. My name is James White. Today is a very special edition of the program. Because today we take some time some opportunity to consider with you some extremely important issues.

Facing Mortality in Light of a Brother’s Death

Eternal issues. And yes, we do that very often on the program, but today in a very special fashion. Just this past week.

We.

Members of the Phoenix Reformed Baptist Church lost one of our Our most favorite people Dave Crawford served as an elder in our church. Until just a few years ago when he had to step down due to health problems.

In fact when I first went to the Phoenix Reformed Baptist Church Dave Crawford was the first person I saw there coming in with the elders. He read the scriptures that evening and when the elders interviewed me and my family as we joined the church Dave was a part of that.

Over the past number of years that Dave's health had been declining he had heart difficulties and just this past week the the Lord brought Dave home to himself and As I was involved in that situation observed Dave's Faithfulness right to the end his firm commitment to Christ his love for the Lord.

The fact that he did not complain that he did not consider himself somehow Persecuted or abandoned by God, but instead in that kind of faith that is born of difficulty a born of tribulation placed himself in the hands of God and knew at the very end that God loved him and Had redeemed him and looked forward to being in his presence.

Going through that causes anyone who is even somewhat spiritually sensitive to consider their ways to consider issues of life and death. We live in a society and in a world that does not think very much about life and death.

In Fact we we spend a tremendous amount of our time attempting to get around the consideration of our own mortality. In fact, I'd like you to think with me for just a moment. Look around you. Look around you with the things that surround you at this very moment.

How many of them are specifically designed to in essence keep your mind off of your own mortality. To amuse you. You know what amuse means right to muse means to think to consider to ponder. Amuse means to not think consider or ponder.

And so when we look at all the things around us that are meant to amuse us to cause us to not think. To not look into the future not consider Eternal things. Think over the past 24 48 hours. Maybe you're going through a difficulty in your life, and so maybe you have been thinking about eternal things, but for most of us How much time have we really spent?

Seeing ourselves as mortal creatures creatures made by a sovereign God Who has told us many times his word that we are but a vapor we are like the glass the grass that flourishes and then passes away.

And When we think of the decisions that we have made over the past a number of weeks or months. How many of those decisions were based upon? Viewing the soon coming eternity that faces each and every one of us.

Oh you may be a younger person. But of course you don't know what tomorrow might bring and even if you live a long and full life. In comparison with the time of eternity it is but a short period when I think of the decisions that I make during the day the decisions that affect the future.

I Have to consider. Am I thinking from an eternal perspective, or am I like so many of us so? Short-sighted. Not viewing things in the way that we need to. The scriptures are very very clear on this subject.

The.

Writer of Ecclesiastes said in the seventh chapter it is better to go to a house of mourning Than to a house of feasting because that is the end of every man and the living takes it to heart. The mind of the wise is in the house of mourning while the mind of fools is in the house of pleasure.

I.

Know a lot of folks don't necessarily like the book of Ecclesiastes. And I I don't think that it's the only book in the canon. Of course there's all sorts of books that talk about rejoicing and and feasting and things like that and yet as that same book says there is a time for everything and It seems to me that we even in the church Tend to become imbalanced at this point.

We tend to become imbalanced in the sense that we don't deal with these issues. We don't want to think about them and Yet the Lord forces them upon us at times forces us to think about them, and we become uncomfortable when we are forced to think about ourselves as creatures and as mortality the end of our physical life as Something that will someday come to pass.

He says that it's better to go to the house of mourning than the house of feasting. Why. Because that's the end of every man and the living takes it to heart. Those who are alive are considered wise if they recognize what they really are.

But they are considered fools if they simply close their minds that inevitability. That thing that is coming called death and instead they squander their time in the house of pleasure. We spend billions and billions of dollars in our society to bring about pleasure.

There are houses of pleasure everywhere. I'm not talking about houses of ill repute. There are houses of pleasure all around us. Amusement parks and things like that that are simply meant to to give us enjoyment as am I saying there's something wrong with those.

No. But when you consider the balance that the wise heart would have. How many people even try to be balanced? Even within the church how often do we speak of death and Speak of it in a Christian sense as the inevitable end of every man and hence the wise person the wise person considers this.

Moses knew all about this In the 90th Psalm and a lot of people go Moses in the Psalms. Yes, the 90th Psalm a prayer of Moses the man of God. Moses said this Lord you have been our dwelling place in all generations.

Before the mountains were born or you gave birth to the earth in the world even from everlasting to everlasting you are God. You turn man back into dust and say return. Oh children of men. For a thousand years in your sight or like yesterday when it passes by or as a watch in the night.

You have swept them away like a flood. They all fall asleep in the morning. They're like grass which sprouts anew in the morning. It flourishes and sprouts anew toward evening. It fades and withers away a Little later on in the psalm.

He says and it's this is probably the most important part of it as. For the days of our life they contain 70 years or if due to strength 80 years. Yet their pride is but labor and sorrow for soon it is gone and we fly away.

Who understands the power of thine anger and I fury according to the fear that is do thee here it is. So teach us to number our days. That we may present to thee a heart of wisdom. Teach us to number our days.

That's not something we do naturally. If it's something we have to be taught That means it's natural for us to to not number our days. We and build entire industries out of trying to remain young. Think of the people who do everything in their power and I'm not talking about staying healthy and things like that.

I'm talking about cosmetic surgery and all sorts of cosmetics and all the rest of stuff just to try. To keep our minds closed to the reality of the passing of our days. Teach us to number our days that we might present to you a heart of wisdom.

What does that say about the heart that refuses to number days. A heart that refuses to recognize Our creaturely mortality. Sometimes you may have had the same experience that I have all of us have. You're driving down the road and You see in your rearview mirror someone coming up at a high rate of speed going back and forth between lanes not caring about anyone else and the person goes zooming by and who is it but a 17 year old young guy in a car and He's got the world by the tail.

He's in charge. He's in control. All you old fogies just get out of the way, right? I look at people like that and I realize they have not been taught to number their days. They don't realize their own mortality.

They think they're indestructible. They also don't seem to realize or don't seem to care what they're doing to others the fact that they are endangering the lives of Husbands and wives and mothers and fathers and children and grandchildren and everything else.

They're foolish.

The Bible would describe them as fools Because they don't number their days and so their hearts are unwise. Bible describes us as as grass that each morning sprouts anew and Toward evening it fades and withers away.

We have a Bank of. I don't even know what kind of Shrubs or bushes they are outside of our house. We didn't plant them they just sort of came with the place when we bought it and Every morning when you get up, they have all these beautiful purple sprouts on them.

But then during the course of the day The sprouts close up and either fall off or they just disappear only to open the next day. So these bushes look very different at 8 o 'clock in the morning than they do at 8 o 'clock at night.

That's the type of illustration the scripture uses to describe us. Describe us and say well. We are but like grass and all for a while while that While that sprout is open while that flower is open. How we tend to think so highly of ourselves, but it doesn't last.

That long.

James the wisdom writer of the New Testament understood this as well. He said come now you who say today or tomorrow We will go to such-and-such a city and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.

Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say if the Lord wills we will live and also do this or that.

That's James 4 13 through 15, I will never forget an incident. Back when I was in high school I was driving to school. I lived a very long way from the high school that I went to and I had to drive there and I Would listen to quote-unquote Christian radio in the morning, and I remember one morning tuning in a man.

Today he would be called a word-faith teacher. And it was all I could get that particular time and so I was listening to him some and and I remember him launching off into this tirade about the faith destroying phrase if the Lord wills and He went on and on and on about how terrible it is.

To say things like if the Lord wills this person will be healed or if the Lord wills this will happen. He says you need to name it and claim it and Otherwise, you're destroying faith.

And.

Yet the wisdom writer was quite right James. He says you need to recognize something if you say today or tomorrow. We'll go to such-and-such a city and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.

That's a sinful attitude. You say a sinful attitude. Yeah, look at verse 16 of chapter 4. It's called arrogance. That arrogance is sinful. And you might say well, but I say it all the time. Yeah, so do I and it's sinful.

Because you see it doesn't take into proper account Who we are and who God is? James says you don't know what your life will be like tomorrow. You don't know what's gonna happen. You don't know what lies ahead for you.

Your body an amazing creation of God but susceptible to so many different kinds of things. You may be a very different person tomorrow than you are today. You may have great strength and vitality today.

But who's to say that you're not gonna be involved in an accident. There's not gonna be some sort of physical ailment. You say oh, that's that's so depressing. No, it's not because you see along with that truth comes the reality.

That whatever does come the Christians way. Comes the Christians way in the providence of God. It has a purpose. We can trust God to do what is right. And so James reminds us. You're just a vapor that appears a little while and then vanishes away.

And so your attitude should be. If the Lord wills and we live. Then we will also do this or that. He's not saying you shouldn't make plans for the future. He's not saying that you shouldn't work toward goals and things like that.

It's just it always has to take place within the context of recognizing That we are but a vapor. And we don't know the future. God does. God knows and it's God's will that we determine what we do not ours.

That is such a pride shattering concept to recognize That it's God's will not ours that will prevail. Yet in the midst of all of this we have a tremendous promise in 2nd Thessalonians chapter 2 verses 16 and 17.

The Apostle Paul said now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father who has loved us and given us eternal comfort and good. Hope by grace. Comfort and strengthen your hearts and every good work and word.

The Apostles benediction is such a source of comfort to all of us. Those of us who have seen a friend leave just recently and go into his presence. There's a special phrase there eternal comfort.

God.

Who has loved us has given us? eternal comfort. Now how can we as creatures have eternal comfort? We're not eternal in the sense that we came into existence at a point in time in the past. We we may live for for eternity in the future in the presence of God.

But we came into existence at a point in time in the past. This wasn't mean to have eternal comfort. Well, I think it's somewhat similar to having eternal life. Eternal life. We have as a present tense eternal life and it's not so much a duration of life.

It does include that it lasts forever. But it's a kind of life. Christians have eternal life now, it's a present possession, but it's not so much just duration. It's a kind of life. It's a godly kind of life.

It's divine in its origin and We who have it look forward to eternity because that will be our home in the same way. Eternal comfort is that special kind of God comfort. That comes from knowing him who is eternal.

He who isn't like us. Who doesn't experience a progression of days to where he grows older and older and Less and less vital. No, I feel for those who Try to force God into being basically an exalted man like the Mormons do.

Because the greatest comfort to the creature is to recognize the utter uniqueness and sovereignty of the Creator. In Mormonism, there is no true creator. And so there's really no worthy object of worship.

Paul says that God himself our Father Has loved us. And when you love someone You comfort them. And so Paul says that by grace We have been given eternal comfort and Good hope that word hope. It is such a precious precious thing to those who experience sorrow and death the loss of a loved one.

The scriptures tell us That we as Christians We as Christians do grieve. Remember what Paul said and when he first wrote to the Thessalonians He said but we do not want you to be uninformed brethren about those who are asleep.

So that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope. And there are some that say well see there it is right there. Christians aren't to grieve. I Don't think that's what Paul's saying. Anyone who's old enough to love is old enough to grieve the loss of that love.

And I believe grieving is a natural part of the way that God has created us. God has made us. And so When Paul says so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope. He's not saying so that you will not grieve at all But that you will not grieve in the manner of those who have no hope.

You may have seen on television at some time in the past.

The.

Wailing and the screaming. That takes place over in nations like Iran and Iraq when someone has died. There's your example of Grieving as those who have no hope. We are not to grieve like that. The one word that separates the Christian from the non-christian right there is hope.

Hope we've been given a good hope by grace Paul says to the Thessalonians and second Thessalonians. And Here in first Thessalonians chapter 4 he did he tells us what that hope is. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again Even so God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus.

For this we say to you by the word of the Lord that we who are alive and remain until the coming the Lord will Not precede those who have fallen asleep for the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a shout with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet of God and The dead in Christ will rise first.

Then we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we shall always be with the Lord. Therefore comfort one another with these words.

Comfort one another. Paul knew there would be grieving when someone we love has been taken from us. He knew we would need comfort. And so he's given us eternal comfort. Why is it eternal comfort. Because it comes with a good hope.

Resurrection that is ours in Christ Jesus. The fact that we are only temporarily separated. That someday We will again be with all of those who have Died in Christ Jesus. Who have left this world in? Fellowship with him in reality.

They are already in a much better place. They have entered into their eternal rest. They experience no suffering and no pain. They have come to the place where they have that perfect vision of who their Savior is and No longer hindered by sin No longer hindered by weakness and ignorance.

They can worship him the way he deserves to be worshiped and So we can comfort one another with these words. We'll need them. We need to comfort one other we need to remind each other of these divine truths.

Our brother Dave Crawford has reminded us by his testimony and his faith in Christ of these truths and We now remind each other. We've been given eternal comfort and a good hope. It is a wonderful wonderful Thing to know someone Who has given that firm testimony of faith in Christ right up to the end.

It is they who remind us of truths like these from the book of Revelation. Revelation chapter 21. Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth. For the first heaven of the first earth passed away and there is no longer any sea.

And I saw the holy city New Jerusalem coming down out of heaven from God made ready as a bride adorned for her husband and I heard a loud voice from the throne saying behold the tabernacle of God is among men and he will dwell among them and they shall be his people and God himself will be among them and he will wipe away every tear from their eyes and There will no longer be any death.

There will no longer be any mourning or crying or pain. The first things have passed away and He who sits on the throne said behold. I am making all things new and He said right. For these words are faithful and true.

Pie in the sky someone might say. Are they really? Every Christian Has the very promise of the risen Son of God he who is life itself. The way the truth in the life that he has gone to prepare a place for us and he will come again and Take us unto himself.

That coming may be in the great second coming that coming may be in the fact that We as mortals Leave this world. There is a sense in which that is a coming of Christ. Because we enter into his presence at that time.

Whichever way it might be We have his promise that there comes a day When he will wipe every tear from their eyes and there will no longer be any death. Death is unnatural. Oh, yes, we speak of it as natural now because we're in the fallen state, but Death is described as an enemy of Christ.

Because he's life. And there will come a day when death will end. It won't happen anymore. No more funerals no more gravesides no memorials. No more death. Because there will no longer be any death. There will no longer be any mourning.

You see mourning is natural. Grieving is natural. It's something that we do. When we lose someone we love. There won't be any crying. There won't be any pain. Because the first things The first things have passed away.

Now the eternal existence. That's not a promise from a mere prophet. That's not a promise from a soothsayer. This voice came from the very throne of God, this is God's promise in the first person. There will be no more death.

No more mourning crying or pain. The first things have passed away and it is God Who will bring about? this situation. You say all that seems so far away in these days. In these days of trial and difficulty and violence all around us it Just sounds like wishful thinking on someone's part the Spirit of God gives birth to a faith in our hearts.

That holds firm and fast to the promises of Scripture. There are some other wonderful promises. We're gonna take a look at but first we need to take a break and we'll be right back right after this. Welcome back to the dividing line.

My name is James White and today we have a special edition of the program. We're not taking phone calls today instead we have pre-recorded this program because Right about now is it's planned right now.

Anyways, there is a memorial service going on and in that memorial service We are remembering a a wonderful member of our congregation that went to be with the Lord just recently. Our brother Dave Crawford who was once an elder in our congregation.

He went to be with the Lord just recently and so we have recorded this program so that We might be able to be in attendance and be where we need to be on This special day. We've been talking about death and grieving and it's not a pleasant subject and I imagine there's all sorts of folks who on a Saturday afternoon would like to do anything but consider an issue such as this like to do anything else but to consider mortality, but we noted earlier the the words of Ecclesiastes chapter 7.

It is better to go to a house of mourning than to a house of feasting. Because that is the end of every man and the living takes it to heart and you know We do have the holidays coming up and some might say well, does that mean we shouldn't we shouldn't have feasts with our family?

We shouldn't have that Wonderful turkey dinner with the family or or at Christmas or whatever. No, it's not what I'm saying at all. But what I am saying is there needs to be a balance. We need to take time to think through these issues to to think through our mortality to recognize it live in light of it and You know one of the reasons we need to do that because we'll learn how precious life really is and I would honestly suggest to you we We really don't have as much joy in those times of feasting.

If we don't have a heart of wisdom. When we gather with family and friends for example for Thanksgiving one of my favorite times of the year. My father makes the greatest turkey on the planet. I'm sorry.

I that is simply a fact. I don't care what anybody else says. I Am completely objective in this my father makes the greatest turkey. Oh and the dressing. We make the poor man stuff this turkey so that there are pounds and pounds of extra dressing left over and We have turkey and dressing leftovers for as long as we possibly can.

Because it's so good. Well when we sit around together when we have those times of gathering together as a family I'd like to suggest to you that if our hearts have been right in the sense that they are that that heart of wisdom that Moses speaks of if we're those wise people that Ecclesiastes speaks of we know.

That we're mortal. We know that our time is limited. It changes our priorities. It changes our priorities. People loved ones become so much more important to us. Saying a kind word. Saying something encouraging to someone which by the way costs you nothing.

That's one of the great secrets. So much more important than all the physical things we could ever have so many of us are caught up in the rat race of Getting and getting and getting and once you get stuff, then you've got to maintain it.

You've got to keep it. Our lives are so complicated so that I've seen situations. Where there was so much stress on? Getting all the details right and the dinner or something like that that no one had a good time at all.

No one enjoyed each other's presence at all. It's so silly when you really think about it. Instead if we do have that heart of wisdom and we gather together. We really enjoy the presence of those amongst us who are older and don't have a lot of time left in this world.

We spend more time talking with them about things that are important and if we are wise learning from their years of wisdom and. And so you see I think there's a balance because if we have the right priorities and those priorities can only come from recognizing Who we are and what we are.

Then if we have those priorities We can then truly enjoy the life that God has given to us because we have it in perspective and We find those little sources of pleasure at the world knows nothing about.

Those little sources of pleasure and in loving one another and in caring for one another and Giving to one another and encouraging one another. The world doesn't really understand that oh sure once well, they'll stumble on to it.

Common grace is a great thing but Recognizing the good hope that has been given to us by God's grace. That eternal kind of comfort that is ours by God's grace only in Jesus Christ. We have an opportunity to Live in a way that the world does not understand and cannot understand and so yeah I'm not saying we shouldn't have fun, and I'm not saying that life has to be a constant funeral dirge.

But what I am saying is we dare not avoid the house of mourning we can go the house of feasting but if we've been to both places and We've spent more time in the house of mourning than we have trying to hide from reality in the house of feasting.

Then even the enjoyment that is ours in those holiday get-togethers and things like that those celebrations of life Will be all the more rich. Balance it is a wonderful thing. It is the thing that we struggle with the most.

There's another beautiful passage of scripture. I'd like to share with you today it's a passage that many of us have read before and I Know that when I worked as a hospital chaplain. It was a passage that I looked to many many times.

Paul begins his second letter to the Corinthians a letter by the way just considering it. There's very difficult or for him to write. It was a letter of correction there were difficulties in the church.

But he starts off by saying Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort. Who comforts us in all our? Affliction. So that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction.

With the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours and abundance. So also our comfort is abundant Through Christ. I hope you'll take some time to consider.

Especially verse 4. Yes, verse 3 identifies God as the God of all comfort. He's the father of mercies. He is the source of all the comfort we could ever need. But for a lot of folks they go well, you know If God is sovereign over all things.

Then this difficulty that has come into my life. Well, he brought it into my life and I I just don't know how real this comfort can be. When there's so many trials and difficulties that face me, but please notice verse 4 Shows us yet once again the fact that The Word of God is so balanced.

The Word of God is so consistent and All through the Word of God it is revealed to us the fact.

That he.

He has a plan and it's a perfect plan. Look at verse 4 again who comforts us in all our afflictions so that We will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

Do you see what God is doing? I? Imagine most of you listening today if you've walked the Lord for any period of time. You know exactly what God's doing here and you've experienced it. Even though you may have never really sat down and given it given it deep consideration God comforts us in our affliction in a supernatural way.

God gives us that peace that passes all understanding that peace that defies analysis that peace that simply shouldn't be there given the natural eyesight. That is our natural circumstances. It's there anyways.

It's that supernatural comfort that eternal comfort and God comforts us in all our affliction and he does it for a purpose. Oh, yes, it's because he loves us. Yes, it's because it's natural for a loving father to comfort his children but even then God has a purpose in our affliction and in his giving to us of comfort.

Think about in your own life. Possibly you've gone through a tremendously difficult situation and in that Dark and trying time you came to understand certain truths from the scriptures truths about mercy and justice and God's comfort and what is right and wrong and what it means to die to self and live to Christ.

What it means the Holy Spirit intercedes for us. Death to self death to sin living to Christ all these things. We may read them in the Bible and we may hear them preached from a pulpit. But until we experience them in our lives, they're just they're just words.

And maybe you've gone through a difficult time. You've come to understand something and God has comforted you in a special way that you had never understood before. Now how many times? Have you then been placed in a situation where you were able to immediately turn around and Minister to someone in a way you could not have ministered to them before.

I won't ask for a show of hands. I Know it's happened to me. I Know that's being involved in ministry that there are certain situations that I simply I Feel at a loss how to handle them. Oh I can give guidance.

I can give scriptural direction, but since I haven't gone through anything that I can even sort of stretch To make similar. I just have a hard time ministering to someone there. Just recently I was trying to help a brother who Has just had some tremendous difficulties with spiritual depression and difficulty in life.

And I've gone through some dark times in my life, but but not anything like this and I felt inadequate. I Have by nature a pretty level demeanor. I don't have super super highs or super super lows. And so I It was difficult for me.

I had to struggle some and I felt somewhat inadequate. Maybe you've gone through similar situations, you know exactly what I'm talking about. God comforts us in all our affliction. So that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

We become as the song says an instrument of his peace an instrument of his comfort. Except we comfort others who are likewise in distress and affliction and Oh what comfort we ourselves receive. When we are then used by God to bring comfort to others.

It's a wonderful process that goes on and on in the body of Christ. Well, we have a few more promises to look at today on the dividing line. I hope you'll stay with us. We'll be right back. Welcome back the dividing line.

My name is James White and today is a special program. We're not taking phone calls today as we normally do. Instead we are talking today about a very serious subject of rather heavy subject. I fully understand their price and folks saying oh man, not sure if I want to tune in for this one.

You're talking about grieving and mourning and comfort and death and life and All this other stuff and wow, it's pretty heavy for a Saturday afternoon, isn't it? Well might be might be.

But.

It's an important subject. We've talked about God's promise in Revelation chapter 21 the fact that there is a day coming when God will wipe every tear from the eyes of his people and There will be no more death and there will be no more mourning or crying or pain.

For all those things are gonna they're gonna pass away, but right now we live in a world where those things still exist. And for some people We look toward the future and we go. I don't know. I don't know how I'm gonna respond.

When that kind of trial and tribulation comes into my life, there are some Christians Who in their more honest moments would say? How am I gonna respond? What would happen if the doctor called today and said we've got bad test news you have cancer.

How to respond if the phone call comes and a loved one has suddenly been taken in a car crash plane crash, whatever it might be sometimes we for a moment start thinking about that and then if we're like most folks we banish the thought from our mind and try to find something else to think about.

The fact matter is we can't look into the future. We don't know how we're gonna respond but We do have the promise of God That he is able. I Think one of the most precious truths of all of Scripture Is to be found in the repeated references in the Bible to the ability of God.

Not the abilities of man. That's what so many people want to focus on these days. The abilities of man. Man's capacity for the Christian heart. The fact the scriptures focus upon the abilities of God is a great and precious promise.