How God Sovereignly Brought Us Together and What We've Learned After 25 Years

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Hey guys, this is Keith Foskey and this is my wife Jennifer. Hello And today we are doing a special video in celebration of our 25th anniversary

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August 1st 1999 at the age of 19 we became husband and wife and we are here at our

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Airbnb which is Disney themed throughout I've been posting some pictures of that on Twitter and we are in the

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Beauty and the Beast themed Dining room. And so we're gonna talk today about how this beauty got her beast

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We're gonna tell the story of how we met. We're gonna talk about what we've learned over 25 years of marriage and we're gonna give some small piece of a small pieces of advice to young couples who may be starting out and Talk about some of the things we've learned along the way

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So we're gonna do this in a relatively short amount of time because we are on vacation We don't want to do a really long video

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But we thought it would be fun to do this for you guys as a celebration of our anniversary

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So Jennifer, what was the first thing you remember when you met me? I Remember you were wearing a suit

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And I had heard I had a project due for a class I was in a humanities class in high school and my dad said that I was going to be meeting a guy my a teenager my age and When he got out of his car

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I remember him being in a full suit and I remember thinking he looked a lot older. So I was very surprised

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Yes, I did look a lot older. But the reason was is because one I've always looked older.

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I've had a mustache since birth and It's okay. I get it. I get it from my mom.

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No, that's that's mom when you watch this. I love you Oh, by the way, happy birthday. We got married on my mom's birthday My mom does not have a mustache and that was a terrible joke, but no

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I was working for a funeral home at the time and I was also a magician and the reason why her dad wanted to Get in touch with me and have me talk to her is because this humanities class was asking her to do a performing arts

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Project and I was a magician. I worked as a strolling magician in high school that's a person who goes around and does close -up magic a la

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David Blaine if anybody remembers that from the 90s and Her dad and my dad worked together.

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They worked for a metal container, which is a company in Jacksonville subsidiary of Anheuser -Busch and My dad was telling people at work.

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My son's a magician your dad Said let's meet this guy and have him teach you some magic tricks and we've been together now 20 almost 27 years

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We've married 25 years Have you learned any magic tricks? Not one? No, not one All right.

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So so the whole reason we got together has not come to fruition in your life at all Okay, so where did we meet

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Ryan's steakhouse? That's right. It's a buffet I don't know. Do your listeners know?

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Well, they know what a buffet is My listeners probably really know what a buffet is steakhouses.

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Yes. Well Ryan's take on the way of blockbuster. That's right But yeah, the kovat 19 killed the buffet.

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So we met at the buffet I did some magic tricks for you, and I'll never forget the way that you looked at me

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You made me feel like I was very very special and I I don't think I've ever had anybody look at well

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Thankfully But the way you looked at me was amazing and I fell in love with you

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I know it's I know it's kind of corny to say I fell in love with you the first night But ever since that first night,

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I haven't stopped thinking about you and so Yeah, so But we we started to see one another her dad had a very specific rule

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We could only see each other once a week We could see each other for four hours from 6 o 'clock to 10 o 'clock on Friday evenings

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I could come pick her up and take her out Which means we could either go to dinner or a movie never both because we had to we had to limit our time

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But we did that for our senior year. We went to senior prom and we dad if you're listening

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Which you won't be you would come sometimes to school and have lunch with me in school

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Yes, I would I did break the rules because I would go I would skip school at my school

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And I would go have lunch with her at her school, which was totally breaking the rules I was I was totally trespassing.

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It was not good. I I'm not encouraging this or endorsing this in any way, but it is an absolute truth.

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That's what I did This was a pre 9 -11 security You just walked into the school.

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There was nothing there was no metal detector. There was no security guard Yeah, so Then we you went to college.

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I went to work. I did security and About a year after high school. We decided we were going to be married.

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We I we got engaged in high school Do you remember that? I I got down on one knee. She was a softball player.

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I don't know if we mentioned that part yet she was a College -level softball player she got a college

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Scholarship for playing softball and so I asked her to marry me on the home plate

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I got down on one knee on home plate on a baseball diamond or softball diamond and When we were in high school, and so we got engaged in high school

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I gave her my grandmother's ring that my dad had had kept and I had it re

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Had it cleaned and some gold added to it because there was one part that was like it was Beginning to wear thin and so I had it

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I had it regolded And there was a lot of things I had done to it and we still have that ring You don't wear it anymore. But but you still have that ring

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And then we got married in church. Yes the same church I am currently now the pastor of is the church.

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I've been in since I was seven years old and That's the church that we were married in on August the 1st 1999, but we were not believers yet.

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No, even though I had Shared the gospel with her even though I wasn't a believer

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Because I at that time in time stuff was real big And so a lot of books had just come out a lot of people were talking about left behind all that stuff

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And so we had a conversation one night late one night about how Jesus could return at any moment

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And that began to get the wheels turning in your mind. Yeah, and then you talked to my stepmom

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Well, I remember us having a conversation also and you said And I said, well,

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I'm good. Yeah. I mean the way that I was raised. I was not raised in a Christian home But you said without the

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Lord Jesus Christ Without him you're going to hell and I just could not Believe that and I was lost.

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I was lost as a goose and didn't know it Yeah, I stayed up all night thinking about that and the next day I went to his stepmother's house

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One of the only people that I knew was really a Christian at the time and I said, how can

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I be saved? I need I cannot get rid of this feeling. I I can't do anything about it myself

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I don't want to spend eternity in hell. I don't know anything. I don't have a Bible nothing and she said well

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Just wait on Sunday. We'll talk to our pastor and I said, I don't want to wait until Sunday I want you to tell me right now

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She sent me down and went through like Romans chapter 1 Romans 3 Romans a you know, the

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Romans wrote basically looking back now is what she did but Yeah, and I remember that night watching you guys over on the sofa talking and I was and then she said

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Jennifer just got saved And I was like, okay. I mean, I mean, I didn't know what to think because I was like, well, that's good

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That's I mean because again, I thought I was saved and it was a little while later. It was after we got married that I I Was confronted with an atheist at work

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I've talked about this story on the show before I've given my testimony before I was a confronted by an atheist who Said, you know believers were stupid and I didn't want to be stupid.

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So we had this long conversation and I ended up I Ended up sort of Realizing I wasn't saved and God used that to save me and I remember where I was when

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I got saved so so God brought us together and again, we're talking about The sovereignty of God because again a couple a couple things just to consider for how we came together

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One our dads worked together But we never met that we know of up until the that that night at Ryan's Steakhouse And there were actually family events that their company would put on so we may have seen each other as kids

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But we never remembered any of that. We never remembered seeing each other. We just knew that That God had brought us together and and he brought us together through magic something.

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I would have never learned if I had not Met my stepbrother. My stepbrother showed me my first magic trick and it was because of him

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I got my first job as a magician all those things happened God was bringing all that together working all that out for to bring us together and this again

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Just looking at each thing even my parents divorce, you know is a terrible thing But if it weren't for my parents divorce,

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I'd have never met my stepmom I'd have never gone to the church that I'm at and I wouldn't be the pastor of where I am right now I would have never even known the church existed.

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So it's like God Was working even in the even in the sinful acts even the things that we would say we're not good

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We're not things that were righteous. God was working all that out and and bringing us together and He had a plan for us.

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He had a plan for us that we would adopt two children Ashley and Cody He had a plan for us that we would have four children and we have we've had four children plus two adopted children

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And we can even say God had a plan in our heartbreak. We've had three miscarriages over the years and so we have experienced all these things and we can say that it is

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In in the good times, it's been great in the hard times it's been hard, but we've been able to do it together and we're thankful to God that that he brought us together and We're so grateful to get to be able to share this with you guys and there's there's other stories

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I'd love to tell like our wedding night. We forgot to book a hotel So we ended up in Orlando like during bike week and there was no there was something

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It was some big event and there was no hotel So we went to the we went to the roadway in to get a hotel and they're like we're booked

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We don't have anything, but there's one room available at our sister hotel, which ended up being The Omni Rose and the nicest hotel on International Drive and we got it for like $69 a night

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It was the honeymoon suite and it was just amazing because we walked in in our wedding

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She had her wedding gown on I had my I had my tux We were literally carrying the trash bags with our luggage.

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We did not have luggage. We were so poor We were we had borrowed a car from where I was working. I was working for Westside Dodge at the time we had borrowed a car and The the car dealership had let us take the loaner vehicle to drive to Orlando.

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We were so poor we didn't have anything but we had each other and we loved each other and it was a couple years later that 9 -eleven happened and I preached my first sermon on the

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Sunday after 9 -eleven and I told Jennifer after I preached that sermon, I believe God's called me to do this

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I think this is what he wants me to do with the rest of my life is to preach his gospel and she confirmed that in her heart that that's what

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God was calling us to and I and that that'd be my one first piece of Advice if you're a young minister and you believe

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God is calling you into ministry He's got to also be calling your wife not into ministry because my wife's not a preacher

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But my wife is a pastor's wife and there is a certain sense in which She's got to have in her life the calling of doing what she's doing

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Being the the support system that you're gonna need and just a few years a few weeks ago I interviewed

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Tom Askell and I asked him we talked about his wife and things that you know We just talked about ministry remember that when

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I interviewed him and one thing he said about what his wife's job was was to keep him in ministry and And I think for you

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I can say that in all the times it has been tough, I mean we have gone through heartache we've gone through People who have mistreated us.

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We've gone through times where we've had severe Just Backstabbing and things like that and yet I've always known when

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I came home I had someone who was going to support me someone who's going to encourage me and that is her gift.

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That's my wife's Spiritual gift is the gift of encouragement and she's always been that for me and she's been that for many other people, too

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So I love you, and I'm thankful for that so That's those are the stories we want to tell and then we wanted to give a few pieces of advice

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Did you have anything any other stories you wanted to add any thoughts? Before we move into the to the advice part and then get back to swimming in the pool with our babies

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Not that I can think of right now Okay, all right, we didn't make this would like so we didn't want to make this too long

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So let's get to the the piece of advice that we thought of few things to think about if you are a young couple if you are looking forward to Getting married or if you are already married just a few thoughts

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Number one when I'm doing premarital counseling I always talk about three F's and these three

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F's are things that I have noticed as a good Baptist I have to have alliteration, but these are three things that I've noticed that have been a real issue that I not not just that we've faced but also that We have seen others face and we both sat in on premarital counseling.

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We're both trained in counseling. So we have done counseling for couples and The three things that tend to be the things that bring up the most strife that we have seen and these are not the only things there's just three things and Number one is faith

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You got to be together on that you have to be standing together and if one of you begins to have

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Some, you know, maybe go in a different direction. Like when I was when I was becoming Calvinist she wasn't a Calvinist and she is now and But I knew that I couldn't just make her think things

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It's like Matt Whitman said and I keep repeating him on this I can't think what I don't think right and I can't force her to think something

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But I can seek to convince her with the scriptures and and that's what I did and that's how I became convinced

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That's right was just through the scriptures. Just talking it through explaining it and and and and trying to encourage her

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But there was a time when it was concerning wasn't it? Yeah They you thought I was whackadoo and there's still people who do and there will be someone who comments on this video

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Who says that I am whackadoo? All right, so just so you know We we know you're there and we appreciate the comment.

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It helps with the algorithm, even if you don't like us Or me, I'm sure you like her but you you don't you may not like me

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She's a Calvinist, but she's a Calvinist too. Oh many people do not like me and that's okay because I still love them

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Cuz I'm not just a Calvinist You're nice. I'm nice. That's right. All right, so faith is so important and thing that's something that you need to lead in man, you need to lead in your home and you need to be a man of faith a man of the word and a man who seeks to encourage your wife and to wash her with the water of The word that's what the scripture tells us to do.

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That is a command the next thing is Family family causes a lot of strife and by that I mean family not not just your family your immediate family with your kids

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But also external family One of the most difficult things we face is people outside our immediate family who are trying to interject within our family and create problems

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This can be parents. This can be siblings this can be even with us like cousins and stuff because we've got family all around and So you have to remember where your primary allegiance lies one with God and two with your wife

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This is your most important person in life more important than your children more important than your parents more important than your siblings more important Than your best friend has to be your spouse.

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This is the one person who you're gonna live with forever Your your your children are going to grow up one day

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Lord willing and they're gonna go have their own spouses and you need to model for them a model of fidelity to each other

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So faith family Do you remember the third one?

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Finances that's right faith family and finances That's number three finances is is something that you guys have to be able to keep under control.

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You have to be able to Understand that you live within your means live even below your means try to live on what you make and Not stay constantly in debt because that's the kind of thing that can really cause a lot of problems

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Especially if you begin to go late on debt your credit gets bad at any of that stuff all that stuff can be bad, you know, and and If one of you there tends to be in a relationship where one is sort of the spender and the others the saver

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Which one is it for us? That Depends on what category are we spending?

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I think I think I'm probably like I think on big ticket ticket items

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I'm probably the spender. You're much more afraid to like Buy big things, but I think on smaller things.

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I'm a little more scrimp and save, you know Like I'm always looking at like are we paying too much for the streaming service, which is like five dollars a month or something

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Oh five dollars can't afford that So But you got to remember that when it comes to finances, this can be a real strain especially if you're like us a single

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Single income family and we're grateful that the church supports us in a way that we were able to survive on a single income

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Praise the Lord for Sovereign Grace Family Church and all the Saints there that provide for our family. We're so grateful for you But at that same time these are just in these are just an area of that that you need to consider that this can be an area where strife comes up and Just be on the lookout a friend of mine wrote a book recently remember

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Brewster Aaron, yeah, and it's called quit and it's on the subject of family strife and I did an endorsement for it

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So if you're if you are struggling this area, maybe you've been married for a few years and you're looking for something to help I would encourage you to to go and get that book

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He's got some really good ideas there and some thoughts that can help you Alright last thing and that is the last

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F I said there was three F's but I'm gonna outdo my good Baptist here and I'm going to add the fourth F And that's one that I think that you and I both can really attest to and that's the subject of forgiveness

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We were just talking this morning about a Facebook post that a friend of ours put up where she mentioned that if you've been married for 20 25 30 years then

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You're not a you're not a testimony of a perfect marriage, but you are a testimony to forgiveness, right?

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And then and that's something that what did you say you said something similar you Responded just saying about our marriage.

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You remember kind of what you were saying. I just said that a Christian marriage. I mean, it's a gospel marriage.

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I mean we we sin we fall short we repent to each other we ask each other for forgiveness and Then we reconcile together and then we

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I mean we live out the gospel like our marriage is the gospel that lived out in front of our children in front of other people that see us that we don't just Quit, you know when trouble comes

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When we have an issue we forgive each other. That's right. This is the core That's right.

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I love what you just said a gospel marriage a gospel marriage is one that like you said it mirrors the gospel

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There are times where we have to repent to one another there are times where we have to say to one another

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I was wrong I did wrong. I sinned against you and I'm asking you for your forgiveness and sometimes it takes a minute.

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It's not as if it's just okay We forgive and forget right away Sometimes things have to be worked through sometimes things actually have to be discussed and talk about how we're going to not do these things again so But yes, it's a life of forgiveness it's a life

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It's a daily repentance and it's a daily intentionality to say I'm gonna love this person with all that I have

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I'm not gonna let another person or other people be more important than them I'm not gonna let another person come in and divide us or Threaten our fidelity to one another and if I see that happening,

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I'm gonna run from it I'm gonna flee from that because not only would that be sin, but that would be destroying what

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God has brought together And what God has brought together let not man separate So this has just been a few minutes and again, we're not in any way claiming.

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We have a perfect marriage. Amen. Amen No, we don't have a perfect marriage. We have problems.

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We have issues and we have things that we have to deal with But we love one another and God has been so good to bring us together and we pray

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He keeps us together, that's right, and we pray that he's going to continue to keep us together until we are with him

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I have a sign that I made for Jennifer years ago, and I still believe it to be true

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I used to carve signs with a router and I carved the sign out. It said I know we can't be married in heaven

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But can I sit next to you when we get there? It is in our living room

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It was actually Alistair Begg who said that and I thought it was such a sweet thing for him to say to his wife and so I went and carved that sign out and gave it to you because I do want to be with you for eternity in heaven as we are surrounding the throne of glory and Worshiping our

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Savior and I'm thankful that God brought us together So happy 25th anniversary.

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I love you And thank you a lot about Keith. I'm just gonna embarrass him now.

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There's a lot I mean you see his his gifts in the pulpit his podcasts.

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I mean these videos and things But there's a lot you probably don't know about him Like I mean he mentioned about carving the signs.

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He's a woodworker He's a magician. He talked about that.

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He's a karate master Sounds strange. I guess he's a lot.

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He's amazing. He's the most amazing gifted person And I'm so thankful that he chose me

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Well since since we're doing this I'll do this I'll say the same thing the day I met you

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I just thought you were the the nicest kindest most encouraging person most beautiful person

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I'd ever met your eyes the big brown eyes. You've always been my brown -eyed girl and I love you to death and I'm thankful Just to get to spend time with you

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I'm thankful to be your friend, but I'm more thankful to be your husband and to get to spend my life

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Trying to make your life better Because I feel like that's part of my job as your husband is to give you the best life

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I can and point you to Christ and help you to love him more and I Just hope

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I do that. Well Thank you guys for watching this video I wasn't too sappy

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But we wanted to do something on our 25th anniversary and we hope that it was an encouragement to you

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Especially if you're a young couple and if you have questions or anything you want to reach out to us Maybe you have a specific question that you're going through Go to Keith Foskey comm you can send us an email.

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We'll be happy to respond We want to thank you for watching and please if you liked the video

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Hit the thumbs up button, and if you didn't hit the down button twice, that's right Thumbs down button twice may