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Dr. Irwin "Rocky" Freeman
It's our time. It will be our last session together. I don't know how far we will get along. I had mentioned earlier in the week that there was one particular critical area that I would like to get to, but I recognize that probably it's better for me if I should not say those things, because if you don't get to them, then you've already planted a seed in somebody's mind.
They say, well, I've been waiting. That's the only reason I'm here. I don't know what you've got to say about that. Then I say, well, I'm not going to say anything about that. It presents a problem, but I do it anyway.
I regret it later on that maybe I shouldn't, but at least if we don't get to it, I will give you some information as to where you can make yourself accessible to or you can gain that information that perhaps will encourage or help you have an understanding or increase your understanding concerning that particular area.
Yesterday, we closed our time together. We were speaking about dating, and we were talking about the phenomena or the crisis or the problem or difficulty of young people involving themselves into petting, which is a very prevalent thing, and it's not looked upon today as it was years gone by.
It is accepted today, and hardly anyone ever discusses it, but as Christian people, we have to discuss it, and as Christian people, we have to come up with some answers or at least some criteria of sharing with a young person, whether it would be a Sunday school teacher, a minister, a mom or dad, whatever it happens to be, or even just a friend, so that we can at least challenge them to think about what they are saying or what someone else is saying to them.
And so I think there are basically seven major dangers that I like to present to young people concerning this thing. Now, you can never tell one, you can't do this, because he knows he can. You may say, you may not do this, but they will find ways of doing what they want to do, and you and I never know anything about it, of course, and many of us could probably write books on how they could do it, but we're not going to help them do it, because we ourselves have done things that our parents told us not to do on several occasions, and so some of these dangers are, one is that petting, using that word as prior definition, that it's sort of used indiscriminately and refers to any of those intimacies, physical intimacies between the sexes, leading up to, of course, intercourse itself or even more involvement, and what it does, it magnifies unduly in a couple's relationship, it magnifies the lower impulses, it just magnifies them, and in doing that, we need to help them understand that lasting love, don't tell them that love, because love changes, you know, we talk about puppy love, and then they'll have that first love, and they'll have the second love, and then they'll get engaged, and they may break that, they'll go steady and break that, and through high school they'll have four or five steady little things going along, and so what we're saying is a lasting love is primarily spiritual and not physical.
Now in our society it's just the opposite, isn't it? In our society today, it seems as though there's such, in life itself, I mean amusements, now it isn't thinking it's going to get Pac-Man, you know, get the little video games, and even though scientists or medical people have proven to us that children who play video games 20 minutes a day per week, 20 minutes each day per week will have osteomuscular problems, they will have problems with their wrists and their elbows, can you imagine?
They're sitting here doing this, you know, and they're hitting the little ball and popping the little button, and it does so many things, now there are studies out saying it even gives them a propensity to violence, because look at all the games, Pac-Man, he bites everything, you know, he gets everything eaten up, and then space invaders, they just shoot everything, and all these things try to attack you, and that's all this kid knows, is attack, fire, kill, attack, fire, kill, protect, and that kid comes home with that, and you watch him playing with the other kids, kid comes up and says, how you doing?
He goes, myself, and he hits him between the eyes, you know, the kid says, what happened? He says, space invaders, you know, and he pokes him in the eye or something, and these things happen, these things happen.
Harold told us this morning about the influence of television, and it is tremendous, but we want to help them understand that true love, and the love that they're going to really look for down the line, is more spiritual than it is physical, although we're not saying physical is not involved in it.
Secondly, there is no question that petting has a tendency to disturb the emotions. It does disturb the emotions. They say, yeah, boy, it really does. No, we're talking about a disturbance. It seems to be particularly so with the female.
Now, everything gets women, it just seems to be so with the female. The best studies will show us that it creates nervousness, it creates irritability, and it also disturbs the body functions. It does with a young girl, it does, it interrupts her emotionally.
Thirdly, of course, if they are a Christian, male or female, it will create an inner, or create a self-condemnation. They know you disapprove, or they know their parents disapprove, they know the pastor disapproves, they know the church disapproves, and yet they know they've done it, they think no one else knows I've done it, and there is that self-condemnation.
You watch their countenance, they lose their joy, they lose their peace, they lose that vivaciousness that a young person ought to have. They just lose that radiance that most young people who are trying to walk with the Lord have, and so what happens?
A conflict occurs, an inner conflict, and you say, what's bothering you? Oh, nothing, and we just say, well, maybe they're having trouble in school, they'll work it out. Maybe somebody said they didn't like them, they'll work it out, and yet this conflict is there.
And then, on the fourth danger is that it arouses urges within that young person that cannot, or at least should not, be met outside of the marriage context. It's going to arouse those urges in that young person that they're going to have to contend with, and they cannot be contended with any place, according to God's Word, except in the marriage context, and we have to help them understand that.
Now, any urge or emotion that cannot find an outlet always creates tension. Any urge that a person has, young or old, any urge or any emotion that does not have an outlet, then it will create tension.
It will create tension, and so we need to help them understand that. And in many cases, it also causes a loss of self-respect. It causes a loss, in varying degrees, but it will cause a loss of self-respect.
With a teenage boy or young man or young lady, Christian young man, Christian young lady, they begin to have trouble with their self-respect. Well, I say I love God, evidently I don't. I say I love my mom and dad, but boy, they don't know this.
I say I love my pastor, I go to church, I sit around and people call on me to pray, people call on me to do this, they ask me to lead the youth fellowship, they ask me to participate in youth celebration day, and we're going to have a youth pastor, and we're going to have a youth Sunday school teachers, and here I am, and all this, and yet, and so this self-condemnation and this loss of self-respect occurs.
And then it begins to enslave the mind and creates a desire for more. It enslaves the mind. It will control the mind. You can talk to young people and many of them will tell you, I know it is wrong, when I go out on a date, or when we just go sit in the car, or we drive down to get an ice cream or something, and we come back, or we just drive off to the park, and we sit, you know, we're just going to talk, but I just can't help it.
I mean, it just, something comes over me, they say. I just kind of lose control of my, I don't think about it until I have one. I feel so bad about it, and so it does this. It creates a desire for more, and it has this tendency to enslave their thinking and to control their thinking in that particular avenue.
And then the seventh danger, it cultivates a low order of love. It creates a false concept of what love is. It makes, it puts love on a very low order of things. It puts it down not much higher than the animal kingdom, than the animal kingdom.
Real or genuine love always partakes of divine quality. And so I just wrote a sentence, if love is to live, and if it is to enrich one's life, it must partake of the divine quality. If love is to live on, and if it's going to enrich that person's life, it must partake of the divine quality that comes from God.
Now, there are three questions that if a young person's talking to me concerning this, and sometimes, you know, I'm just in a church, and I'm there on a Bible conference or something, and some kid is going to say, you know, can I talk to you?
And it may just be a fleeting moment, but I can ask them these three quick questions. And they are so basic, but I'm trying to provoke them to think, and that's what we want to do, help them think. One is, I just say, how is your participation in that activity going to affect you?
I say, what do you mean affect me? It won't affect me. Yes, it will affect you. How is this? And I get them to ask that of themselves. Ask it out loud. Say it. Verbalize it. How is my participation in this activity going to affect me?
Second question, how will it affect others and my influence on them? Is this going to affect someone else? What's it going to do about my influence on this person? And the young girls will say, but, well, I go out with him.
I know he does a lot of things wrong, but I'm trying to win him to Jesus. I'm trying to win him to the Lord. You never will. There are very few exceptions to where a Christian man, woman, adult, or young person who compromises their convictions and belief that they ever reach a person for Christ.
The apostles did not win people to the Lord by compromising what they knew to be the truth. But strangely, in Christianity today, Christians, many people, think just the opposite. They think, well, if I water it down a little bit.
I mean, it's not that, you know, it's not like me shack Shadrach and Abednego. That's the name we call them. That wasn't their real name. You know, you're not going to worship the idol, but just kind of act like you are.
I mean, you don't really believe in your heart that you're worshiping that idol. Well, just bow down, and we know you're not, but they don't know you aren't, and he won't throw you in the fiery furnace.
Now, you know, when you read what they said, let me just paraphrase it and put it in essence, what they said. Basically, what they said was, well, this decision whether we're going to bow before the idol or not, there's no question.
I mean, there's no decision here. You see, we made another decision, and that decision governs every other decision we make. We made a decision to honor God, and so there's no decision here to be made.
All I've got to do is figure out what God wants me to do and do it, and I don't believe God wants me to bow down. Therefore, I'm not going to do it, and therefore, they didn't say, well, in the fiery furnace you go, and what happened?
He looked in there, and he saw, well, I thought I told you to put three in there, and you got four. You got somebody in there that doesn't belong. He said, but there's one in there like unto the Son of Man, and old Meshach, Shadrach came out, and you read all kinds of things about him, and of course, the king himself had all kinds of problems, so you and I must understand that we do not have to compromise what we believe, and we have to tell the shepherd person the same thing.
Look, you don't have to compromise what you believe to reach that person. In fact, if you will stand strong, lovingly and kindly, and be tactful, and all that, but stand strong, and you will reach them, because if you do what they do, then why should they change?
They've got to see a difference. They've got to see a difference. So, we ask them, how's it going to have an effect on other people, and how's it going to affect my influence on them? And then, of course, the obvious question is, how does it affect the cause of Christ?
And I usually say, let me ask you a question, if every Christian young lady, or if every Christian young man, is going to do what you're talking to me about doing, then what kind of shape does that put Christianity in?
Do you want all Christian young men? And then you start putting them into the three tests. I have three tests that I give them very quickly. Three questions and three tests. Follow the questions with these tests.
I first of all give them what I call the test of secrecy. The test of secrecy. You can just write down secrecy. I say, well, let me ask you a question. Are there some individuals that you'd rather not know that you're going to be doing this?
I mean, is there anyone you don't want to know about that? Well, man, yeah, boy, I'll tell you what, if my dad found out, I'd be, woo, boy, I'll tell you what, you're talking about, you don't know, listen, you don't know.
The reason I'm talking to you is because you don't know him. You don't know my mom. Well, why wouldn't you want them to know about it? Why wouldn't you want to know about it? And then there is the test of universality.
The one I just mentioned. I said, well, would it be okay with you if every Christian young boy and every Christian young lady in the world did just exactly that? See, I apply that to adults. I ask myself and I ask Christian people in conferences all the time.
I said, you know, if every Christian lived Christian living just like you and me, what kind of shape does Christianity end in this world? I mean, if every Christian is just like me, is Christianity in good shape or is it in bad shape?
Kind of embarrassing. So I'd rather ask you rather than ask me. He said, I'd ask you. And that kind of lets me rationalize it away. But I ask them that test of universality. And then I give them the test of prayer, of course, that we all know so well.
I'd say, well, let me ask you a question. Can you honestly ask God to bless you while you're doing this? I mean, could you say, Lord, here's what we're going to be doing now. Will you bless it? Now, if you say no, obviously, you know where you are.
You know what you've got to do. I said, now, you can go ahead and do whatever you want to do, but you must understand that there are severe consequences to doing against what God says do. You must understand that.
And then if they kind of say, well, you know, they'll say, well, you know, I said, well, you know, I've given you three questions and I've given you three quick tests. Now, let me tell you about three sources of light.
There's light from without, there's light from within, and there's light from above. Now, you're going to have to make your choice based upon those three sources of light. I said, first of all, you know that there's light from within.
You know what your conscience is saying to you. That's from within. You know what it's saying. I said, there's light from without. You've come to me for counsel. You've come to me for advice. I'm sharing my advice with you.
You know what your pastor thinks about it. You know what your mom thinks about it. You know what your dad thinks about it. You know what your brothers and sisters, you know what your friends, you've got all this advice coming from everywhere.
So you've got your conscience, you've got that. Now, there is light from above and that is the guidance from God's word. Now, what is God's word? Do you know what God's word says? Well, no. Would you let me take a moment or two here and show you quickly what God's word says about it.
And I go through some of the scriptures concerning the purity of life and them being the temple of the Holy Spirit, that their body is not their own. They're bought with a price. You're God's property now.
You cannot do with yourself as you desire to do. And I give them some other responsible passages of scripture related. They come to my heart at that particular moment. I said, now you have that, those three kinds of light, three forms of light.
Now you have to decide what you're going to do. I cannot decide for you nor will I even try. You make your decision, but make it wisely. And then I say, now I said there are severe consequences of obeying God or not obeying God.
And I want to just read you three full verses of scripture. And I quickly open to Leviticus chapter 10. And I said, now this doesn't seem like a big thing to you. And I understand that I have been right where you are.
I know what you're going through. I really do. But I said, now in Leviticus the 10th chapter, the most religious man in the nation of Israel was Aaron, the brother of Moses. But Aaron could do something Moses couldn't do, could he not?
Aaron could go into the Holy of Holies, into the very presence of God himself, the Shekinah, the manifested presence of God. Aaron could go in there and Moses couldn't. Aaron could only go in there once a year, on Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, the only time he could go in.
I said, now he had two sons, Nadab and Abihu. And they went into the place of worship. And the scripture tells us that they knew they should worship or they wouldn't have been in the place of worship.
Obviously their dad had told them how to worship because they had been worshiping with the camp of Israel. And they went in and worshiped the way they wanted to do it, not the way God had prescribed it.
And it says that God sent fire upon them and killed two teenage boys instantly. He burned them to a crisp instantly. Now you know what kills most people? But God's a God of love. Well, would you tell the people in the days of Noah that?
God destroyed the entire world with a flood. Men, women, boys and girls and babies and he drowned all of them. Tell the people in Sodom and Gomorrah why? He's a God of love. He burned those two cities to a crisp.
When you go to a map today of the world and you'll look down at the bottom of the Dead Sea and it'll say Sodom and Gomorrah and have a question mark. We don't even know where they were. God so utterly destroyed those two cities.
Tell them God's just. Tell the Pharaoh of Egypt with the mightiest army ever amassed on the planet Earth at that time and God just destroyed all of them. And from that day to this, Egypt has never been a world power.
Tell the Pharaoh of Egypt that God is just a God of love. God is a God of love, but his love becomes available through obedience to Jesus Christ, his Son. We can't just let them do as they please. So I said, now, what do you think about that?
They'll say, man, let me see that again here. And he'll look at that and he'll say, God killed them both? All they did was come. I said, I know it. What you and I think is insignificant is not insignificant with God.
When God tells us to do something, now, he is gracious. I'm not telling you God's going to send fire down on you. I'm not telling you, I said, now, if I was God, I'd sit up there and have me a bunch of lightning bolts in my hand.
And every time I saw somebody, somebody goes zap, one, I'd get him. And zap, I'd get him. And if that didn't work, then I'd just wipe everybody out and start all over again. I mean, I'd do it day and night.
Pick me a few righteous people out if I could find one or two, and then I'd stick them in somewhere and then I'd zap the human race to start off. I said, God doesn't do that. But God does demand that you and I obey him as best we can.
And here's something that you can do. No, you're going to make mistakes. That's why they put erasers on pencils. We make mistakes. But this is one you don't have to make. And I urge you to seriously consider what we've talked about.
And then you must remember that you and I are responsible to God for what we do to and what we do with those who are his creation. We cannot do with people or to people anything we please. We are responsible to God for how we act, to one another and with one another.
And so I said, now, would you let me just pray with you for a moment? And we prayed. And you know, it's amazing. You can pray any number of things with young people and adults. I mean, it's amazing what you can pray.
Sometimes they won't listen to you, but they'll let you pray with them. So why don't you just tell them why you're praying? You know, you can just pray it to them. And they're not going to leave you. They don't want to leave while you're praying.
And you can apply this in so many different ways. Thoughts come to my mind immediately. I started telling someone the other day, I am a product of some of the finest teachers. I mean, they didn't have much to work with, so don't criticize them for what I do.
They tried. But God has put me in the path of some of the greatest men and women of God on the planet Earth. And I've tried to learn some things from them, but I've watched some things they do. Now, you know, you can't do everything everyone else does, and I've learned that.
I mean, people would lynch me if I tried to do what I see some people doing, but it works for them. It works for them. I went out with a man who is known in the United States as one of the greatest soul winners in the country.
His church, he was just pastoring this particular church, and he came and I went with him and made three visits with him. His church runs 30 ,000 in Sunday school. 30 ,000 in Sunday school. But he's kind of a strange fellow, you know?
And so we went, and I was to take him over to this house, and I just knew how to go. And so we went over to this house, and there was a woman in there, and the pastor had told us that he had already led this lady to the Lord, and she was expecting a child.
And they wanted him to talk to the husband. And so we went in, and so we're there, and so this man comes in there, and I said, no, I want to talk to him, and so forth. He said, no, I don't want to talk to him.
So he goes in the back room. I don't want to talk to him. I don't want to talk about all that stuff. Talk to her. She likes that stuff, you know, religious stuff. I don't want to talk about it. And so we thought, well, no, he's staying around.
He's the reason we came. So he just calls to him and says, Mr. Doe, I always say Doe, Mr. Doe, we're going to leave. Could I just speak to you for a moment, sir? And the guy comes out and says, yeah, we appreciate you allowing us in your home, but it's your home, and we're guests, and you don't want to speak about the Lord.
You don't want to speak about the things of God. I just wondered if you would just allow me in your presence here, if I could just have a word of prayer or a short prayer, and we're leaving immediately.
Oh, yeah, that'd be fine, you know, be okay. So the guy just stands there, you know, and so he just begins to pray, and as he prays, he just kind of puts his arm around this man's shoulder, and he says, Lord, now this man doesn't want us to talk to him, and we're going to honor his request.
We're going to leave. We're guests in his home, and we would never want to offend him in any way, but Lord, would you help this man to know that Romans 3 .23 says, for all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.
Lord, if this man could just understand that Romans 6 .23 says, the wages of sin and death, and God, if you'd help him to understand that Romans 10 .9 and 10, and then he'd go to Romans 10 .13, and all this.
He just went right through the plan and said, God, help him to be a Godly man. Here's a wife that's going to have a child. Oh, God, he's going to praise all day. And you see this guy, and I was trying to see what this guy's going to do.
I figured he's going to, you know, he's going to club him or something. And I'm watching, and the man's just trembling. He's just trembling like that. And when the pastor got through, he said, now, Mr. Doe, wouldn't you really like to give your life to Christ?
And he's got pressure on him. And you see the guy's knee, he's trying to bend like this, you know, and before long, there he goes. He just goes right on down, and I fell down there, and he just knelt and asked the Lord to come in his heart.
Now, that never worked for me. It would never work. You know, somebody just tar and feather the young Jew and throw him out the door, you know, and that would be the way it would be, but not with him.
But I'm just saying that young people are the same. You can pray things sometime with them. You know, I think of another pastor. It just comes to my mind, not to belabor it, but this pastor friend that went out and met a hard man, and he just, boy, he just did not want anything at all.
And so the pastor just took him by the arm, you know, told him the same little bit, you know, said, I'm going to pray, and we're going to leave. And so he just held him by the arm, you know, and had his hand right around here, and he's praying.
Went through the same thing, Romans 3, 23, 23, and says, now, Lord, he said, now, this man doesn't want to hear all this. Now, I've given him the plan of salvation, but he hasn't said anything to me. Even though we're praying, he's given me no indication he wants.
So, God, he doesn't even want you. He doesn't want your son or anything. So, God, I'm going to take my hand away from his arm, and I pray that you'll kill him the moment I do. Lord, he said, when I remove my hand from his arm, I just pray that you'll strike him dead right here.
And, boy, I thought, you know, I moved away because, I mean, the lightning's coming. I don't want to be on the ground. You know, lightning can get anybody. So, I, I, this, I was sitting there watching him, and I watched that pastor, and the pastor was real smart.
So, he just kind of loosened his hand up. He didn't just jerk it away, and he said, God, lean into his hand. This guy won't let his hand get away from me. He's pushing against his hand. He makes sure he's going to follow him everywhere he goes, you know.
He's going to move around. And the pastor's just very carefully, just working, trying to move around. And then, finally, he just looked at him. He said, now, mister, wouldn't you like to really give your heart to Christ?
Wouldn't you really like to trust him? Yeah, I really would. And the guy just breaks down. Now, that never worked for me, but I have found, I have found that there are times when you can pray with people.
I was asked to go speak to a young man, associate pastor of a church we were a member of, quite a large church. And we went over to speak to this boy, and he's one of these motorcycle fellows, you know, and his sweet wife at home with little children.
And the associate pastor had already led her to the Lord, and the two children to the Lord. And we went over to talk to him, and he took me because of my background, and being kind of strange, you know, and thought, well, maybe my testimony might influence this guy a little bit.
And he didn't want to hear anything. He sat and listened to us, but he cared less. And so, I thought, well, maybe this will work for me, you know. So, I said, well, associate pastor at Rockwood, would you just lead us in prayer, and we'll go.
And I said, yes, sir. I said, now, sir, I'm going to pray. May I pray for you? He said, yeah, man, that'd be okay. I said, may I pray anything I want? Sure, that'd be alright. And so, I just began to pray, Lord, if this guy doesn't want you, and he doesn't care anything about you, and he doesn't, you know, he says he loves his family, but Lord, he likes to ride that motorcycle.
Now, Lord, I pray that if that man just turns away from me, if he won't get saved, I pray, Lord, and he's not riding that motorcycle, you'll just wrap him around a telephone pole. I pray, God, that you'll just scar him up so the girls don't like him.
Lord, I just, I'd rather have him crippled in the hospital for life than to be lost and healthy and whole. God, I just pray that you'll collapse him out on that motorcycle. And I got through, and he's quiet as a ghost, and he's standing there, and he says, hey, hey, man, that's hard.
That's hard. I said, you said I could pray anything I wanted. Yeah, yeah. I said, well, you don't have one problem. I said, all you got to worry about is whether or not God's going to answer my prayer or not.
That's all you got to worry about. Now, I found out that he went to church more the next Sunday morning, next Sunday night, next Sunday morning. Never did he get saved, and he stopped going to church.
So, you know, I didn't have a professional faith out of it, but I was able to get a message to him that I couldn't get to him any other way. You can do that with young people. Sometime you can, you can reinforce what you're saying.
Don't ever hesitate to pray with a young person. It's amazing. If you care enough, they'll let you do it. They will let you do it. So, we need to do these things with them to assist them in this area.
Now, in your home, obviously, we have young people who come into the home. We have children in the home and so forth, and so you have a problem with them, and sometimes we have to incorporate discipline in the home.
Now, I believe there are some basic guidelines that we can use for discipline. Now, each child is different. Each personality is different. Each one has different talents. They have different gifts. They have different outlooks.
They don't approach things from the same basis, and yet there are guidelines for discipline. I want to share a few of those with you. One of the best things to do in disciplining a young person is to give them an example.
Use examples with them. Now, not people, but illustrate to them what you are trying to teach them. Give them a visual picture. Somehow or other, draw them one with words or something, but give them an example of what you're trying to tell them so that they can't say, well, I know what you said, but I just didn't see it clear.
I didn't understand it. I didn't know what you were trying to say to me. You know, we say, well, you knew what I meant. Well, no, I just know what you said to me. I don't know what you mean. Give them an example.
Illustrate what we're trying to say to them, and then make sure that love is in your discipline, and the word correction is a good word to use, but give them a proof of your love before you correct them.
Give them a proof of your love before you discipline them, and by that I don't mean go buy them that red sports car and say, you know, no, no, that's fine, but let them know. Sit down and say, you know, do you have any question in your mind that I really love you?
Is there a reason why you don't think I love you? Talk to them about your love and commitment to them, that you do love them, and you only want what's best for them in their life. Now, we want to instruct them, of course, and if it's their first time, let's say this is the first problem you've had with them concerning this particular issue, what would be the first thing we'd want to do to them, or do with them, or what?
Go chain them, just throw them down in the cell. Now, we want to train that young person to be attentive of what you're saying, so don't allow that child to let his mind wander while you're talking to them.
Make them look at your eyes. Make that child look you in the eye. I don't care if they're 13, 14, 5, 6, or 7, you can teach a child 18 months old, you can teach one 13 months old to look you in the eye.
It is amazing. Now, you have to train the child. What is the first thing a child learns to say after da-da and ma-ma? Mine. They are born with a grip like a vice. You can take little babies. There was one in here, there's another, two or three weeks old, I guarantee you put your finger in there, and that kid can grip that thing, and you can't hardly get it out, and if they get a few fingernails, they'll tear a hole in your hand, and that's a little old kid, a little tot, and then they learn to say, no, no, and they learn those.
We have to train them differently, so lock eyes with them. Let them see your eyes, and teach them as you look at them what you mean when you say no. No means maybe. No means you've got three chances. I said no, no.
I told you not to do that. Look at me, no, no. We walk on back up, come back in, didn't I tell you not to do that? Now look what you've done. Now you've done it, you broke that antique lamp. Look at me, no.
Oh, he's crying, don't cry. Oh, well, it's okay, I'll get a new one, and we take him, no. When you say no, you have to teach that child that you mean no. That you mean, no doesn't mean yes or maybe, it means no.
So we instruct them, and we train them to be attentive to what we're saying. Now, we all know, and they don't believe it. You don't tell a child, this hurts me more than it hurts you. It doesn't. It doesn't hurt you more than it does, and you say, oh yes, it does.
You're not going to convince that kid of that. Nowhere in the world you're going to do it. But we have to let that child understand that he doesn't understand it, but he needs limitations. Limitations in a young person's life create security.
They believe if they can do as they please, that helps them feel secure, but it isn't true. They need limitations. They need guidelines. And the tragedy is, what we've been hearing in our time management, that many of us don't have the guidelines.
Many of us don't have the disciplines to give them disciplines. And so we need to put these limitations upon them. Now, we can give them something in its place. If there's something they want to do that should not be done under any circumstance, then let's substitute.
Substitute. Give them something worthy in its place to do. Give them substitutes for these things. And then of course, a part of this correction, not only do we want to build obedience in them and help them to understand what we mean by saying no, but we have to help them understand that they must have, even though they're young, a reverence for God, a reverence for their parents, and a reverence for property.
That there is a God to whom they must be responsible. There are parents that God gave them to you to train, to correct, discipline, to disciple, and to teach about God, and to teach about people. And they have to have a reverence for what you say.
Not just because you're the parents, but because God holds you as a parent responsible for what they do. And now some of the courts of the world are beginning to do that now. Two 12-year-old girls down our way went into a home that was being built out in a subdivision.
There were several homes being built by contractors. And they went in there and they stopped up all the water basins, and turned all the water on, and just completely vandalized that. And the court rules the parents should be responsible for 12-year-olds.
Now the parents got to pay thousands of dollars. I'll tell you what, they'll know where their kids are tomorrow. The next day they'll know where those two little 12-year-old are. They won't let them just wander free through the neighborhood.
Well, God holds parents responsible to the greatest degree of what their children are up to, and what their children are doing. As the thing says on television, do you know where your children are? You know, you see that?
Satan says, I do. He knows, and God knows, and you and I need to know. And then we need to tell them that they must have a reverence for property. Property. Even another sister or brother's property. A child should not be allowed, of course, to go into the other child's room and take the drawer open and just take everything out of there.
Well, I want to play with them. Well, did you ask him? No, I want them. And he goes in, he gets them. Well, let him have them. You know how he is. That's okay. We'll get you something some other day. No, teach that child to honor reverence that this toy or whatever it is belongs to the other child.
Now, so the child can allow it to play with it, but don't force one to give up to the other one just to pacify that other one's temper tantrums. We'll not teach that child discipline at all. And so they must have a reverence for this property.
I have a family that I've been working with for almost five years in North Carolina. And we deal through the telephone and mail. So it's very difficult. And one of the things is this man's been married three times and he has five children by his other marriages.
And now this young lady, she has one by another marriage of hers. And these families come together and they try to serve the Lord and so forth. And yet it's extremely difficult because he has all these children.
He feels such an allegiance to them. He's guilty, feels guilt because he didn't provide for them. And he has all these other wives and so forth and child support going in three different directions. And he's got this one here.
And yet he brings all these children down into his home. And here this little girl, she has a 13 year old son. And these kids are allowed to run through his room. The little boy just weeps, talks to me and just weeps sometimes.
Writes me letters and just weeping in those letters. You could just see his heart's broken, but they're allowed to go through the drawers of his room, take his toys and little models he's made and things like that.
And he takes these little scientific things, you know, builds these little computers and little radios and things like he makes for science class and shows. And they're just allowed to go in and through.
And the dad believes that's okay. Well, they're children. You know, you're a young man. You ought to let them play with him. And they just demolish what these kids are. And they're taught no discipline whatsoever.
So wrong, so wrong. And yet it's so difficult to get him to see that. Now, when we deal with a child on these basis, and let's say that we bring this child in and it's a second offense and they, we've already talked to them about that.
Again, we want to lock eye to eye and convey to that child the grief that's in your heart. Convey to that child as they look at you eye to eye, that you are disappointed and that there's hurt in your heart, because they've not done what you've asked them to do.
There is a grief in your heart. And please remember, do as you will, but it's my suggestion that you only give them one warning. You don't give them two, give them one. Give them one. You've told them no.
You say, now I told you not to do that. This is it. One warning. Don't do that. Don't do that. Give them that one warning. Don't do that. All right. Teach them that and then give them that one warning.
And then when you correct them, appeal to their conscience and ask them, was that fair of you to do that with your brother and sister? Secondly, followed up quickly, not only was it fair, but was it right with God?
Was it fair to them? And is it right with God? You've got to deal with them and you have to deal with God. Keep those two things working in their mind, that they're dealing with their brothers and sisters, or they're dealing with someone in the community, or they're dealing with you, they're dealing with human beings, but they're also dealing with God in every decision they make and everything they do.
And we fail to remember that as parents. We fail to remember many times that when a child is disobedient, it is not your authority, basically, that they've gone against. They have rebelled against God's delegated authorities in the home.
And God doesn't smile and say, well, he broke the window out and set the house on fire, but that mom will spank him, that dad will get him, that'll be fantastic. No, God's not pleased with that at all.
He's not pleased with that child. And surely, I'm not saying the child is lost. I'm not saying if the child dies, it doesn't go to heaven. What I am saying is that what that child is doing, God sees it also, and the child needs to understand that.
And it's amazing how quickly they can understand these things. And then follow through. Whatever correction you promise that child, do it. Whatever you tell them you're going to do, if this is done, then here's the correction.
Here's the discipline. If you tell them one week with no television, then don't break, don't give in, don't give them any television for a week. If you tell them no ice cream for a month, don't give them any for a month.
And if you tell them none and you give it to them, you might as well break up your discipline because you're going to blow it right there. They just will. We cannot. We must keep that discipline ourselves because it is a sign of weakness, and they'll know exactly how far to go, and they'll push the barriers all the time.
They'll push against the walls. They'll just keep pushing against those walls trying to figure out how far they can go. And if they ever find a weakness in the dyke, boy, that's the hole they'll go through.
That's the hole they go through. We must stand upon it. It isn't because we pride ourselves in it. And sometimes you can think ahead. Think ahead about how your child is reacting. Don't wait on something to happen.
Watch their direction. Watch their tendencies. Watch their trends. See the way their attitude is forming. Observe them, how they're doing. And then I'll guarantee you that mothers are great at this. Dads, we're not too sharp at it, but mothers are great at things.
Say, now, I'll bet you if I watch him long enough, he's going to go right out there. That rascal, there he go. I knew he was going to do it. I hear him. He chopped my arm off with a knife. He's going to do it.
They will. Mothers can see that, you know. But we dads, there he goes. I know. Ah, he'll be all right. He's just a boy. He's just a kid. He'll just have fun. He'll come in. Dad, I broke your windshield out.
Boy, that's fantastic. How'd you do it? Well, I threw a brick right through it. Can you do that again? Do the back window. Let's go do it. That's almost the attitude that prevails sometimes amongst men, you know.
Mom, do it. Follow through with your correction. I told you about hanging Lee, boy. She said, I'm going to hang Lee. That grandmother got the rope, went out there and put it on him. Now, she didn't follow through with it, but I don't think she would have.
But Lee thought she was going to when he felt that old rope around his neck. Of course, the young mother did throw that kid out the window in the snow. Now, but whatever you promise them you're going to do, just make sure you don't promise them the wrong thing, you know.
Don't go load the shotgun and say, I told you I was going to get you, you know. I mean, you know, don't do that. Make them realistic, obviously, but whatever you promise them to do. And then let's suppose they come in with a third time.
You've corrected them each time, but here they're doing it again. And let's say, listen, we're not going to break them immediately. I mean, some of us still aren't broke. And so it's going to take some time.
It comes quicker with others. And there are four or five things that I think we can do if the problem comes up, say, for the third time. First of all, establish with that child an area of responsibility.
Make them verbally confess to what they did. What did you do? Don't tell them what they did. What did you do about this that I told you not to do? No. What did you do? Tell me. Make them confess what they have done.
And then secondly, of course, and this is something we all know well, don't correct that child in front of the other children. It breeds resentment. Take the child into another room. Take the child into the bathroom.
Take that child or young person somewhere else away from the others so they're not humiliated, they're not embarrassed, and they don't build up a root of resentment which will result in bitterness. But correct them by themselves.
Get alone to correct them. And again, when you correct them, reflect grief. Let them see that it has hurt your heart because they've disobeyed. It's hurt your heart because they've displeased God. And it's hurt your heart because it's been disruptive in the family.
Help them to know it hurts your heart because they've hurt a brother or sister or friend or family member. Let them see your grief and then don't be so quick to get it over with. Wait a little bit as you talk with them.
Wait because repentance takes time. Wait until you see some signs of repentance growing in that face. Watch for that repentance. But sit with them and talk with them and work with them through that. And if it takes you an hour to stand there and correct the child, I don't have an hour in there.
Yes, you do. And if you don't have, you better take it because they need it and they must have it. I had a lady tell me one time, she said, it seems like I'm correcting my child every five minutes. I said, yes, but after a while, it'll be every 10 minutes.
And after a while, it'll be every 30 minutes. And after a while, it'll be every week. And before long, you won't have to discipline that area. And before long, it'll just be your word. You'll say no, and they'll know.
They'll know. But the reason we have to correct them every five minutes is because we have not been doing it since they were a child. We've not been. We wait until they get eight and nine. I don't know where this is.
You have to wait until they're 12 years old to discipline them. A child, you know, 12 months, 18 months, two years old. Well, we, you know, we, they're just so tender and so loving. Yes, but don't they learn quickly?
They know how to sit in that bed and they'll scream their lungs out until you pick them up and then they quit. Medical miracles occur. Isn't it wonderful? A child will fall off of there and God's made them.
You could fall off and break your back. A kid fall off from the head and then faze them, but they will scream like they've gone nuts. I mean, they will scream and scream and scream. And that medical miracle is that mother can just pick them up and kiss them on the cheek.
And it's the greatest anesthesia in the world. Well, pain's gone. I mean, it's just disappeared. And that kid knows it'll lay in that bed and just scream its lungs out and it'll rack up through the whole house.
And I'll promise you that kid knows who comes into that room. It's the baby. But that kid knows when that mother comes in that room, that kid knows when that dad comes in the room, and that kid knows when a stranger's in that room.
It can't tell you verbally, but that kid can respond to that. And I told you about the children who are memorizing scripture. It's unbelievable. I can name you a kid seven and eight years of age that can quote you Psalm 1, Psalm 8, Psalm 23, memorizing Psalm 119.
I can name you another little kid seven or eight years of age and that kid can quote you chapter after chapter after chapter of the Word of God. They're not geniuses. They just work at it. They work at it.
And you and I, children, listen, they can be dealt with and they can be dealt with in this area. And then one of the things we must do is emphasize with that child, oh, sure, if they're 18 months old, they don't understand a lot of these, but we're talking about them, about correction.
They all understand this, don't they? Yeah. And isn't it amazing? I was just in a pastor's home up in the state of Arkansas. We did a conference there, as Dr. Paul's doing, not as well as he's doing, but we did an exegetical work from Genesis to Revelation on the Holy Spirit.
And they have a new baby. And this kid hasn't even learned to crawl yet. It's just now beginning to crawl, but it crawls by lurching, you know. It can't even crawl good. And that kid crawled. They had a little ceramic piece on the lower part.
They have a beautiful glass shells there, four or five shells, and that's a little ceramic on it. And this little kid's trying to get to it. And their mother says, no. And this kid's only this long. And it can't even crawl good.
And that little kid stops. No. And that little kid turns around here where there's sound. It can't even lock in on you good. It doesn't even concentrate good. It's a little eye, little neck flops, you know.
It's trying to find out where this no came from. And the mother said, no. And that little kid will turn and begin to crawl towards its mother. They learn very quickly. We say, see, she says, no. Somebody say, no, no, no.
And the kid knows it doesn't mean anything to them. It's just like a little dog. No, Rover. No. And that dog will freeze. Sit. Would you kindly sit? Watch the police with a canine dog. Sit. That's the way they train them.
That's why they say sit, and dog sits. Same thing with children. We have to let them know we mean what we say. But emphasize your responsibility with God. God holds you accountable for what you're doing with that child.
God is holding me responsible for what you and I are talking about here. He's going to hold me responsible about correcting you. I've got to answer to God for what I'm doing here. We're committed to Christ.
And it's because basically the will was not broken when it was a child, and God has a difficult time breaking the will of many Christian people. The tragedy is, why is it that we think that a person has to be 70 years old before they become a mature Christian?
Because of the will problem. Self-will. But we ought to be able to become a mature Christian very quickly, because age is not the category. It's not the reasoning behind it. It's that attitude that brings about maturity.
Our response that brings about maturity. Now, how do we break one's spirit? How would we affect their spirit wrongly? If we affect them in anger. I've seen this happen so many times in department stores and on the street corners.
I had an attorney friend in the state of Tennessee. He told me, I mean, it's a lady just slapped her little child. Just, I told you not to do that. Slap that child across the face. And he just walked up and said, ma 'am, I am an attorney at law, and if you do that, I'll file a civil case against you.
Don't you ever slap that child across the face again. She's my child. You know, she had bananas on him in the street corner. But no, that's so wrong. God's cushioned them. There is a place you can correct them.
And it don't faze them here as much. Now, they think they got to put books and all that stuff. No, no. God's worked it all out. Take them off. You know, but I've seen them grab them. Just grab them and drag them off and grab them.
Come in this room, get in this bathroom, throw them into the bathroom. I've been in homes where I've seen them be corrected in anger. No, no, no, not anger. And in one, it's so easy for us. We won't be angry, but we're irritated.
To correct them with irritation will do more harm than good. It is better to say, I am angry right now, and I'm not going to correct you, but you will be corrected later. My wife and I were in a lovely Christian couple's home not too long ago.
And this little boy, he's the little one that I've been telling you about that he learned so quickly. And he was just crying and nagging at the mother, and she's trying to talk. And they all gather around her anytime, you know, and she told him, she says, no, no, no, mother's talking right now.
He doesn't want anything. He just wants a little attention. And she says, no, mother's talking. And so she says, look me in the eye, look mother in the eye. And this little kid, just a little tot, he just looked her in the eye.
She says, no, mother's speaking right now, but you're going to get a correction later. You see him, those little lips come out in the pouch, you know, and he quiets down, but he doesn't scream anymore.
And later on, after we're gone, then she'll take that child and she corrects it. Sometimes she's done it while we're there, but she doesn't do it necessarily on the spur of the moment. And I noticed very quickly that, you know, it's easy to get irritated with a child real quickly, or an irritating young one, but don't correct them at that moment.
Tell them what you're going to do, but do it whenever the irritation is gone. When you can, show them love. And then also unfairness. I mentioned to you about this veterinarian that was disciplining two of his children, his young boys, and the teenage daughter was sitting there and he noticed a look in her eyes and he asked her, he said, do you think dad's being unfair?
She said, yes, sir, I do. And he says, well, would you explain to me why you think I'm being unfair with your brothers? And she just told him. And he felt like it was a good, valid thing that she was saying.
And he says, all right, I'm going to overlook the correction this time, but now we're changing the corrections. It's no longer you go to your room from now on, we're going back to the licks. We're going back to the, to the whippings.
We're going back to those corrections for a while then. He said, you think that's fair? Yes, sir, that'd be fair. And so make sure that you're dealing with them as you would consistently with each other and let them, I mean, you know, it's okay.
Check out that fairness with them, you know, and then make sure that it's not done through a misunderstanding. Make sure you've got all the facts before you correct the child. You know, if it involves three or four kids in the family, you know, it depends on who you're talking to as to what story you got.
I have done things in my family. I have a brother and sister. I've done things in my family. And my dad said, why did you do that? He's sitting right there. Look at me when I did. I didn't do it. David did it.
Or Dolores did it. David, David did it. I saw you do it. I'm sitting right here and I thought, no, dad, I know I didn't do it. And I stand up, say, because I know I'm fixing to go. No, I didn't do it.
I back up. Why? He just said he moved, but I'm backing up. No, dad, I didn't do it. You know, I saw you in my own eyes, son. Well, he made me do it. You know, I got to do something. Get it away from me somehow or other.
You know, my dad had it look different than other people did. He worked in my little assistant. He gave minutes, minutes. And he had this big, long belt and this quite a wide belt. And then when he just gave minutes, he said, oh, you get five minutes or 10 minutes.
What that meant is I went up into my bedroom and he closed the door and I could do anything I want to, to stay away from him for five minutes. But he had ways. I mean, I went to the bed and he'd come on that bed, that belt, and he'd come.
I mean, although you can hear, you know, and the mother, she's a real disciplinarian. I'd start going, don't hurt him, don't hurt him. I'm all over that, but you hear things. But dads were a lot smarter than I thought they were.
You know, he anticipated my moves perfectly. And he had other ways. I wasn't the only way he had the quickness, but that was one of the ways that he had of getting there. But we want to make sure that there's no misunderstanding, that that child is clear in its mind.
And we are clear in our mind that that child did what we believe it did. And we know that that child has done that. And so we want to make sure about that. Now, if you are correcting a child, and if you are spanking or using the rod of correction, you must do it until that child cries.
If you do not do it until that child cries, you have not accomplished the purpose of it. Now, what is the purpose of a child crying? Basically, when that child cries, now you got to watch them because some of them can do it quickly.
Some of them, listen, I mean, aren't they, listen, boy, they are masters at this thing. You know, they could be the great imposters. They work it out. I mean, some of them start crying before you even get up.
They go, I haven't even touched you yet. And the neighbor, shh, and the neighbor goes, I'm beating you, shh. The kid just goes crazy, you know. And of course, a lot of them cry quite easily. They're sensitive and tender.
But watch that very carefully, but it clears their conscience. They don't know it, but when they cry, it clears their conscience out. And it brings a freedom in their heart. It brings a freedom in their life.
But we must whip them until, what are we doing? We're trying to break that wheel. Well, what are signs of wheels? Have you ever seen, I had a fellow, this kid, I was in a home one time, and the parents kept saying, you know, don't do this.
And this kid wanted to do something with him. I can't remember what it was. The kid kept coming up to me, and I'm sitting there, and I'm speaking with the parents on the couch. And this kid keeps coming up and pulling at me and stuff like that.
And I don't want to be rude, and I'm trying to talk to the child, and yet I'm trying to listen to the parents, and they keep saying, no, no, don't bother him. We're talking. And this kid said, I'll just hold my breath.
He drew that air in. He said, he won't breathe. He won't breathe. And I said, what's he doing? He said, he'll just flake out. I said, he will? He said, yeah, he'll just pass out. He'll be all right. Well, I knew that, you know, you can't kill yourself that way.
There's no way you can. You'll pass out and start breathing, and you cannot kill yourself by holding your breath. Sure enough, they're going to start telling him to breathe. But for a moment, there's a little panic.
I figure, well, what if he does go? All of a sudden, plow, this little kid here. The parents just talking. And after a while, they told me later on, you know, it's one of his little temper tantrums he does, and whenever he doesn't get approval, that's what he does.
And we're working with him through this thing. We're letting him know it doesn't get him any special attention. But, you know, he says, I'll hold my breath. Well, hold it, you know. And my wife worked for a dentist, and I was talking today at lunch about this dentist friend that we have.
And this kid came down there one time for a thing, and mother said, have a hard time with him. He's walked in and says, get in the chair. I said, I'm not going to get in the chair. Get in the chair, son.
I'm not going to get in the chair. You made me get in that chair. I'll take my clothes off. Well, take them off. Go ahead, Herb, get ready. We're going to get in the chair. She takes clothes off. I'll just take them and hide them, make him go home without them, you know.
Things like kids scream, you know. These temper tantrums. He had a thing of these little kids start screaming in the chair. He just put his hands over their mouth and their nose and hold their breath, just cut their air off.
Little kid, you know, start, take his hand off, saying, you quit crying, I'll let you breathe. The kids go, ah, just clamp down on him again. You know, after about the third time, the kids start going, trying to get air.
It's amazing how they quieten down, you know. So I don't know about all, but I do know that temper tantrums are a part of a strong will, and that is a part of a will, willfulness in a child. That's all it is.
They're expressing their will, and they can do that, and that's a sign of their rebelliousness. And then also, if you spank a child, especially spanking them, and there is no crying, they're showing their will.
That's their will coming through. Well, my child don't cry. Yes, they will. You say, man, I might beat that thing 50, 20 minutes. Well, you know, you're not going to abuse the child. 20 minutes. 20 minutes.
Whatever it takes to get that child. You say, man, that's, that's cruel. No, it's not. No, it's not. And then also bitterness, retaliation. You ever seen this look? I'll get you. I've actually said that.
I've actually said that. I've heard other young people. I've heard Christian young people in Christians homes lash back at their mom and dad over something that parents said to them. An act of retaliation against that parent.
And I've had parents come to me many, many times and talk to me about their young people doing things around the home to retaliate. Parents say, pick up all your clothes, let's walk in and throw something on the floor and get out real quick so that just a sign of rebellion.
Threw it on the floor anyway. This type of a thing. And then, of course, it can get to the point of where there are actual threats. I've had parents come to me and tell me about the young person. If you ever lift your hand to me again, it'll be the last time you ever lift your hand to another child.
Can you imagine a young person? It happens. It happens. Do you not read the paper where young people shoot, kill their parents? Sure, a lot of it's an abusive thing and sometimes it's over the simplest thing.
We had a congressman's son in the state of Texas, the capital city Austin, took a rifle and killed a school teacher because the school teacher gave him a B. Took a gun down and killed a successful school teacher, the husband of a wife, and now there's a widow and fatherless children because this young boy wanted an A.
It's amazing how far this thing can go. Now, of course, when you come to a child and they're a little more difficult to deal with, then what you need to do is let them know that there's grief in your heart.
Always show them the hurt that's in your heart because they've disobeyed you and disobeyed God. Examine your own life. Examine your own life. I always encourage people, examine the life and see are you doing what you should be doing before you demand of that child that it does what it should be doing.
Make sure that I'm, my life is in order and then also help that child examine themselves. Help that young person examine what they're doing with their life and where they're going with their life and then after you've corrected them, comfort them.
Nothing wrong with it whatsoever. Oh, go off and leave them in there and let them whimper a while. That'll solve their problems. No, reinforce them. Reinforce them. Show them affection. Tell them, now I have disciplined you and I've corrected you and I know you didn't like it and I didn't like it either, but you know I love you and I understand what you're going through.
Show them your understanding. I understand it's a problem with you. I'm trying to help you work through this. I'm just doing what God requires of me to do and you don't think this is going to work, but it's going to work for me and it's going to work for you because it's helping me understand you and it's helping you understand me and we're going to walk together through this problem and we're going to whip this problem, you and I are, and I understand what you're experiencing and I want you to understand that I love you with all of my heart.
Even though I've corrected you, I love you and they'll grab hold of that and then if there is proper restitution required, prompt in them quickly, immediately, a desire for restitution. Sometimes they have to make restitution and help them to visualize again in their mind how they have hurt God and how they've hurt other people.
If it's hurt someone else, help them to visualize their mind how it hurt that other person. Help them visualize how it hurts God. You see, we deal with sin on this basis, do we not? You know what's preached in most churches.
You know what's taught in most Sunday schools and what's read about in most homes. We're always talking about the effect that sin has on human beings, but may I share with you something, dear people, that I'm sure you already know, but let me just reinforce it for our edification together, that the effect that sin had on God is far greater than it ever had on man.
The effect that sin had on God because it had such an effect that it caused him to send his son to make the payment. It outraged the holiness of God. It outraged the holiness of heaven and it infuriated the heavenly host that God's justice should be outraged by humanity.
And God had to send his son to rectify all the results and we help them understand these things and then evaluate the results. Have a time of evaluating your child. See what the result of that is. See what's happened and what has occurred.
If you have corrected them in anger and maybe you didn't know it at the time and you later on realize it, go to that child and say, I want you to forgive me. Look them in the eye. I want you to forgive me.
Charles, Janie, I want you to forgive me because I corrected you in anger and I should never have done it. I've asked God to forgive me. Now, will you forgive mom? Will you forgive dad? I corrected you in such a way.
And they'll say, you know, sometimes you'll see a grin. They'll say, well, I don't know if I will or not right now. You know, kind of put you on the end a little bit. Oh, please. You know, no. Sometimes you'll see a little grin, but they'll, yeah, sure.
Sure I will. I understand. I understand. And so, if we corrected them with irritation or any of those things. Well, let me share with you some guidelines, some steps that are very basic that I think will take these young people, a young son, a young daughter, to help that child with moral impurity.
Perhaps there is no, and you and I than to involve themselves in moral impurity in all of its facets, in all of its forms. Satan has created upon this planet things that 40 and 50 years ago were unheard of, basically in the general realm of the population.
Oh, some of these things have always been around, but not to the degree that they are today. And things are accessible to young people today. I could give you all sorts of things you've read about, many of them in the paper, where young people, I mean good kids, Christian kids, they can go out and there's a special recorder that can be bought for $14 .95.
They have bought this $14 .95 and set it up in their parents' bedroom and recorded the intimate moments of their moms and dads and then went off and duplicated those tapes and spread them amongst their friends around the school.
Homes have been devastated by such things. Pornography readily accessible to young people. Magazines and all these things. And things that are going on in some of the so-called, quote, formal dances and the proms.
I talked to a principal of a high school. He said, if I could have canceled the high school dances in this school, we could have kept it open. I talked to a high school principal in one state, high school, listen to me carefully, 92 of all the senior girls were pregnant.
92%. One major university in the southland of the United States had over 400 illegitimate births in one year on that campus. And on he goes, see we don't know what's going on many times. We don't know what's going on.
We just let the kids go. And we say, well go here. Do they go there? Do you have a way of checking to find out where they go? Respect is earned. And to get to go somewhere, a young person, that's a privilege.
It's not a right. It's a privilege. But yet there are some steps you and I can go through. First of all, when you have a child, and if you have one and you haven't done this yet, make a definite act of your life that you consecrate that child to the Lord.
Make it a definite act. A definite act of your will. Lord, I consecrate Charlie to you. I just want him to love you. And I just give him to you, Lord. I give her to you, Lord, to do with as you will. Let that child know.
Sit him down sometime when you're alone. And say, you know, I want to share something with you. Dad and I, or mom and I, we consecrated you to the Lord. Read them a passage of scripture of where one of the children was consecrated to the Lord.
Even the Lord Jesus himself was brought to the temple. And Simeon said, behold, mine eyes have seen the salvation of the Lord. What were they doing bringing that baby to the temple? Getting him into the house of worship immediately.
Oh, I'm not talking about baptizing him. I'm talking about consecrating him to the Lord. One of the things I love to watch when I go to churches, I love to see a family with a young baby bringing that in the pastor.
So let's just pray and commit this child together and ourselves to encourage and nurture this child in the Lord. Let's just, this parent, they want to consecrate him to the Lord. Let's pray together as a fellowship.
Beautiful. Well, I don't believe we ought to do that in the church. I understand. But it's a beautiful thing to consecrate that child and let them know they're consecrated unto the Lord. Tell them, we have consecrated you to God.
We've given you to the Lord. Now, a lot of parents are afraid to do that because they're afraid God will send that kid to Africa. They're afraid God will send that kid out on the mission field. Well, let me ask you a question.
If you ask most Christians, would they not say, oh, I want God to control my child? I say, well, how far? To what degree? Are you saying as long as they stay home or as long as they go into the medical profession or if they follow a dad in his footsteps, are we willing to say, Lord, wherever you want her to go, whatever you want him to do, whatever you want them to say, it's all right with me.
They're yours. If you leave them with me, take them away. It's fine, Lord. Whatever you say, Lord. This is what I told God about you. And then amazingly, this begins to work in their heart. And also, before you ever start teaching them obedience or along about the same time you teach them obedience, of course, obedience is not first.
Teach them to be alert to your spirit and God's spirit. Teach them to be alert to what you are feeling and what you sense and what you're thinking in your life. Teach them to be alert to your spirit and teach them to be alert to God's spirit.
How does God speak to the heart? How does God guide their life? And you can begin teaching them that very, very early in life. And as you teach them, develop in them a fear of God. Now, that word fear bothers a lot of people.
There are a lot of things going on today in the Christian realm. And we say, well, fear is a holy awe. It's a reverential awe. It is a trustful awe. But there are many scriptures, a constant awareness that God is watching every word, God is observing every thought, and God is observing every action of the human being.
God knows everything I think, everything I say, and everything I do. That is awesome. That's why it's reverential awe. It is awesome. And the amazing thing is God keeps books. God keeps records. You mean He keeps records?
God keeps records. Genesis 16, 13 says, Thou seest me. Thou seest me. Proverbs 15, 3, The eyes of the Lord are in every place beholding the evil and the good. God knows everything that goes on. We say, He sees a sparrow that falls out here in the woods and hit the ground before the owl ever gets it, before the eagle ever comes.
As that sparrow sitting on the limb, God sees it. God sees the lily that grows. Well, why doesn't God see the thought, the word, and the deed of human beings? Because we are far more valued than they, and He does.
God sees these things. So we need to help this child understand that God sees, and the eyes of the Lord are upon them. And then 2 Corinthians 5, 10, We must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ and give an account to Him of the things we've done in the body, whether they be good or bad.
Now notice the word, we. We. Anytime the apostles are writing to Christian people, they always say, we, or ours, or us. When they're writing to the unbelievers, they say, they, and them, and those. When they write about Israel, they'll always say, they, or them, or Israel.
So He says, We shall all appear before the judgment seat of Christ. Not a condemnatory judgment, but an evaluation time of the things we've said, and the things we've done, and the things we've thought as a Christian, that we call Christian living, Christian service.
Psalm 94, 9, He who planted the ear, shall he not hear? He who formed the eye, shall he not see? He made them, certainly He does. Proverbs 5, 21, For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he ponders all of his goings.
All of his goings. Psalm 139 is an interesting one. I thought that I would just read that. Psalm 139 is one of the favorite Psalms of so many people. Psalm 139, verse 2, says the following,. Thou knowest my down-sitting and my uprising.
Thou understandest my thought afar off. Thou compassed my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. He knows everything. For there is not a word in my tongue, but lo, O Lord, thou knowest it all together.
Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thy hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, it is high I cannot attain unto it. Whither shall I go from thy spirit, or whither shall I flee from thy presence?
How can we hide from God? The scripture says though mountains would cover you, you cannot hide from God. We need to help a young person understand the fear of the Lord. That nowhere, they can go in the car, and though the lights are out in a home, it does not matter.
God sees and God knows. And then of course, our fourth one, and then we'll take our break, is to bring that child to personal salvation as quickly as possible. There is no such thing as 12 years of age being the age of accountability.
Chronological age has nothing to do with it whatsoever, and I had hoped that we would get to the point of discussing the age of accountability. But as we move to our break, just let me say that chronological age, whether it's 5 years of age, 7 years of age, 10 years of age, 12 years, that has nothing to do with it whatsoever.
Responsibility and environment have more to do with the age of accountability than anything else. A person who's raised in a godly Christian home, with a godly dad, a Christian mom, they are worshiping, they're taken to church, they read the scriptures, they see scripture in the home, they hear prayer in the home, that person will come to a knowledge of Jesus Christ far quicker.
They come to the age of accountability far quicker than he or she who does not have those opportunities. But the age of accountability does come. It does come. And so we need to bring a child to Christ.
I've said this so much in my life. I wish, oh, I'm not disappointed because I believe that God's doing something in my life, but I wish as I look at Christian people and people say, boy, here you are, you're a Jewish Christian and, boy, you've had all these experiences and kind of strange and kind of sordid and weird and all that, but, you know, you've seen so much of life and all these things, and they talk to me kind of like they're envious of me or something.
Well, now I know Gentiles would love to be Jews, but you can't, you know, and all of that, but if you'd be nice to me, and you have been most gracious this week, so I've sort of committed myself that when we get to heaven, why, I'll introduce you around up there and kind of help you understand what's going on, but, you know, I wish that I could have been a Christian when I was eight years of age.
I wish I had known, as some of you have, the Lord for so many years. As Harold mentioned in his life, I know it would be the desire of his heart. It is any person who's been a believer who's saved late in life.
Many of you, some have told me this week, well, I would just say, my brother-in-law's been saved since July, I think it was, or four months, January, about four or five months old in the Lord. Our hearts say, you know, boy, I wish I could have become a believer when I was young, so take our children, and let's teach them about the Lord.
Show them how to become a Christian. Don't force them, but don't discourage them. You have a godly pastor. If they want to come down to confess, let them come on down. Don't say, get back in here. Let them come on down and talk to him.
He'll know how to handle them. He's not going to run them up to the Baptist, get the water in, we got one, you know, here he comes. You know, he doesn't throw it out here, you know, just kind of throw it out in the congregation, so he'll nibble a little bit there, you know, there's one there.
Oh, he's eight years old, boy, this will be easy, get him in here, quick, get the net, get the net, you know, nah, no, no, no. Don't be afraid. Don't overly encourage them, but don't discourage them. Just let God work with them, teach them, and show them.
Let's take our break, please, and then we'll come back in a few moments, and God, they don't have access to teaching a child Christian things, so what we're sharing, basically, is from a Christian perspective, for a Christian mom, for a Christian dad, where the children are Christians and material at that point, because Christian mom and dad, that's what we're doing these things for, to help them come to that, but on the same hand, that if we have a person that, here they are, they're a non-believer, or their marriage is not ordained of God, not blessed of God, they're just living with someone, they have a child, then that's where you got to start, not with the principles, you start with this.
They don't even start out right. They don't even start out right, so we say, well, here's one that, you know, beat their child to death. Well, yes, non-Christians doing it in anger, they're doing it with irritation, doing it with impatience, all those, so, you know, we're not even dealing with biblical principles, even to start with, we're not even dealing with a Christian to start with, and so, and even though Christians sometimes can get out of hand and get out of order, so we're talking about, basically, principles and concepts that will work in the Christian life.
Now, what I'm sharing with you here, basically, are not my ideas. These things, I'm sort of eclectic, and you can talk to, of course, these things have been taught and preached and propagated by those who deal with these things and have been doing this as their only field of endeavor, Christian psychologists, Christian psychiatrists, Christian counselors, pastors, and other people, and who give us some guidelines of how to deal with these particular things.
Now, obviously, in each home, there are going to be variances. You can't say, all right, I'm going to go from 1 to 12 with this kid, and then I'm going to get number 13, which is my result. No, you may have to leave out number four, and number four may become number 11.
Number 11 may become number two. There is no order of doing these things, but I believe the principles are biblical, and they are scriptural principles, and they will work in the family life, and so, what we're saying is, we want to bring that child in to salvation as quickly as possible.
I have found, as I've traveled, I have found young people, children, who at six and seven years of age, I've talked to some even five, although I feel it's quite early, but I do believe the possibility is there, that I've found them to give me more intelligent answers than a lot of adults can give me about salvation.
It's amazing, you know, sometimes. So, we just have to take a person where they are, take them for where they are. Now, we're about how old they are. Let's look at their intelligence, what their understanding, and deal with them on the basis of that opportunity, responsibility, and environment, and then with a child, when we're dealing with them to help them with moral impurity, is give them a sense of destiny.
Give that child, a boy or girl, a sense of destiny. Let them know that God does have a plan for their life, that they can have a plan. I can have one for them. We can all sit around together, but God has a plan, and we have to find out what that plan is, that God has a plan for each one.
And one way of doing that, of course, if it can be done, and a lot of kids don't like to read, but try to encourage them to read biographies of godly men and godly women. They don't have to be missionaries, that's good, read some, but some of those I like to recommend are many of the same ones you do.
A young man, I like to get them to read about a young man, the life of David Brainerd, just a young man, and yet one of the greatest mission movements in the world was starting at the foot of his bed, when a great man stood there, who wasn't great at the time, but saw that young man around 30 years of age, going out of this world, when there was so much left to be done, and he had done so much, a godly young man, to read the life of David Brainerd.
And then, of course, the great black pastor, John Jasper, to read the life of John Jasper. And then there are many others, you can read Wesley and Calvin. I like to give them things, read some areas that maybe some people are not always reading.
Bill Wallace of China, and things of this nature. Give them a missionary story where a fellow goes down into Burma, and he ministers there for 30 years and doesn't have one profession of faith. 30 years and didn't have one soul saved.
What a failure, huh, was it? He died, went on to be with the Lord, and next year a man goes in, a family goes in, a missionary, and what happened? They had a virtual Pentecost as far as the number of people.
They began to have thousands of people began to be saved because that man gave his life away. So, read stories of godly men and women. D .L. Moody, eighth grade education, shook two continents for God.
Stepped off of a boat in England, and a thing come to bring revival. What did he find? He found a little lady, a little widow lady, who had moved into a little apartment. She had been living on soup three days, three times a day.
She had been there already for 60 days, and she was just praying that God would send a revival to England. God would send a revival to England. Read the story of Praying Hyde. We talk about praying. You know one way you can test your prayer life?
It's embarrassing to even think about. Pray for 20 minutes without asking God for something. Just pray 20 minutes. Praying Hyde prayed 40 days and 40 nights and never got off his knees. Read the life of Praying Hyde.
Beside his bed were ruts in the wood where he had knelt. On his knees they found him. You know where he was when he died? He was on his knees kneeling on his bed in prayer. His knees were gnarled and calloused with knots.
Pray for 40 days and 40 nights. He couldn't do it, but he did. Stories like that. Read the biographies of the great men and women, and even find some about the young people who walk with God. Then also explain to them how God spares them if dangers or perils.
Maybe something's happened, and they've gone through a peril, or they've escaped maybe a car accident, and something like this. Explain to them how God is sparing, how God worked in that. Well, maybe God did this.
I mean you think, well, yeah, you just got out of it, but explain to them how God spares and if something tragic has happened. Explain to them how God works in those things. Give them a sense of destiny, and then of course we need to guide them to the point of a total dedication to God's will.
We have to find some way to guide that young person. That's what we're talking about. To deal with moral impurity, they have to understand that there is a will of God, and that they are dedicated to finding that will, and once they find it, they are dedicated to it.
Dedicated to the will of God. And then a very important part is to train them how to discern character. What is character? Christian character is what you are in the dark. It's what I am when no one sees me.
That's Christian character. What God sees. What God sees. There is a thing that's going around the country. It's called patrolling in Proverbs. Patrolling through Proverbs. Take them through Proverbs.
Study with them through Proverbs. Those sayings help them build character. Tell them that if you want to please me, one of the things you could please me as dad, one of the ways you could please mom and I, one way you could please me as the mother, one way you could please dad and I, is that you would become wise in the things of God.
If you really want to please me, you don't have to make a lot of money. If you just become wise in the things of God, that would please me so very much. And encourage them to stand alone on the side of what is right.
Stand alone, because they're going to be called upon to stand alone. It's difficult for a young person. So difficult to stand alone. And then, look for opportunities to stand with them and to encourage them to stand alone with the right attitude.
Look for those opportunities in their life. And then of course, saturate their mind with scriptures. Reward them for memorizing scriptures. I have several kids that I know as I've met around in meetings that drop me a note every once in a while that they memorize chapters of the scripture.
Now, I don't let them memorize verses, because you know, they'll send you one for Jesus wept, and then they've all memorized John 3 16, and that'll cost you another quarter or whatever it is. And in full on, they can get all the goodies, the little easy ones out there, and you'll be broke, you know.
So, I get them going a little more. But we reward children, and God rewards good. He always does. And so, there's nothing wrong in my heart as best I can understand it. And I know so many people that use a reward system and say, when you memorize certain portions, whatever you feel is necessary or comfortable, then reward them for memorizing scripture.
I know one couple that they memorize scripture together, and they say, all right, the one that memorizes first gets to eat ice cream first, and before they go after it, and they start trying to memorize, so he gets to eat the ice cream first.
And sometimes one doesn't get any for a week or so. But they work on this, saturating their mind with holy scriptures. And then teach that child the consequences of sin, that there are consequences of evil, even though they may not see them now, but consequences do occur.
And God will forgive the sin, but that consequence may remain. A young lady can go out, and she become pregnant, and God will forgive her, but she's going to have a baby. And the consequences of that sin is there, is there.
Teach them there are consequences. And then, of course, teach them how to witness and how to edify other people, how to lift up other people, encourage them, how to build other people up. I can name you a 12-year-old boy who went on a junior college campus in a city in West Texas, and in one year's time, he led over 105 college kids to Christ.
And he's 12 years of age. Now, the reason he did it, because his mom and dad does it. His mom witnesses, and his dad witnesses. His dad was the pastor of a very small rural church. And this little boy would go over there, and they'd say, well, let me, yeah, but you see, and they'd quote him some, they'd quote some philosopher, or they'd quote some theologian.
You know, well, Bart says, and he'd say, yeah, but Paul says, and he'd quote him a scripture. And they'd say, well, but you know, and they'd say, somebody else says, and he'd say, yeah, but Paul said in Ephesians, he'd quote him a scripture.
They don't know anything about that. You know, they can't argue that. They don't understand too much. And he was successful. I know a young man in a federal penitentiary in Rayford, Florida, in the state of Florida, not the federal, it's the state penitentiary, in the state of Florida, that in one year, hardened criminals, he led 136 men to Christ.
You and I don't face that kind of an obstacle. Now, you know, most churches will go five and ten years without winning 130 people to Christ. Five and ten years. I was on an aircraft, taught about teaching children to witness.
I was on a plane, I was flying west, and a gentleman sat down beside me, a businessman, he looked like, and I was reading a book, and I was trying to find some way I was going to talk to this guy, and so trying to work out some way, and so they served us a meal, and he said, he just broke down.
He said, what's that book you're reading? And I said, that book is about Jesus, Messiah. He said, well, what's the title? I'm going to show him, it's Zechariah. He said, Zechariah? I thought you said, I said, well, it is the book of Zechariah, but it talks about, his name means God remembers, and it talks about Jerusalem, and Jerusalem is dependent upon Jesus, the Messiah, and I went on this whole big story.
He said, look at me, so he ate, and didn't say too much, and we finished our meal, and he said, you know, I was just thinking. He said, if everybody went around trying to tell people what you're telling me here, he said, you know how long it would take to win this world to Christ?
Now I've heard this, if everybody wins one, take ten years, and all this stuff like this. He began to figure it out. He said, now if you want, just you yourself, and you've heard this, but I had not even thought about this.
It's been several years, but he said, if you win a person today, and let's go out and say you win two tomorrow, and you win three the next day, and you win four the next day, and five the next day, you know, if you did that, it'd take you ever, you know, but let's say you win one today, two tomorrow, four the next day, eight the next day, you just double it every day.
How long would it take you to win the world to Christ? I said, man, I don't know, and he showed it to me, 30 days. In 30 days, this world could be won to Christ, if you just win one today, two tomorrow, four, well of course, you can't do that, but you see, we don't have to if everybody won one.
We are told that in 10 years, this world could be won to Christ if everybody just won one. May I share something that astounds me? Do you know that most Christians, I said most, M-O-S-T, go through their entire life as a Christian, and never win one person to Christ.
Never does God use them to open the scriptures, and sit down with a peer, and let God use them as an instrument to go through the scriptures, and let the Holy Spirit of God speak that heart, and bring them to Christ.
That's so tragic. As I mentioned today, 95 out of every 100 church members in the world never win one person to Christ, as long as they live. Well, somebody has to teach, but you got to be willing to learn, willing to learn.
Of course, your church, you don't have a problem, because you always have programs about how to witness, and things like that, but there are a lot of churches that care less about that, and sometimes if they have them, people don't come.
People don't come, so teach that child to witness, and they'll grow up with it. They'll grow up, and some of the most effective witnesses that I've ever met in my life have been young people, have been young people.
They go out, teach them how to edify, how to encourage the other kids, their brothers and sisters, how they can lift up, and then support them with frequent prayer. Pray with them. Just pray with them.
If they're off somewhere, have them call you and pray with them. In our church, we started a thing some time ago, and I made mention to a couple young people, and they got hold of this, and I just heard about it.
It wasn't anything new with me, and what they did, we do this a lot of times when I go off into a meeting, and I'll say, before I go, I'll write the church, and I'll say, what you have is have the young people pick them out of an adult that they will pray with every day, and see the kids won't forget it.
We're adults, we'll forget it, but that kid won't forget it. He'll call up and say, would you have time to pray with me, and they'll call. Boy picks a man, and the young ladies pick a woman, and they pray every day.
Call them on the phone, or go by the house, every house, and most on the phone, and pray five minutes. Just pray with them, a kid. It means something to those kids to spend time and pray with them. Now, those are very basic things, and you are all aware of them, but they will help guard that child from moral impurity, but the fact that we take them to church, and put them in a Sunday school class, and because we're Christians, is not going to do it.
Our position in life will do nothing with them. We have to teach them specifically, graphically, and directly how to deal with these difficulties, and I think that we can do so. Well, let me share with you just a spiritual project that a dad can do this daughter.
Why did I pick out the daughter? Well, that's the one that you usually become the most protective with, you know. The old boy, he'd take care of himself, you know. He's a man out here. He'd take care of himself, but that daughter's the one they want to build that fence around.
That daughter's the one they want to get the dogs for, you know, and let her carry two Dobermans around, and a shepherd behind, and you know, hire two guards, and bring a truck to follow along so she can jump in.
I mean, it just seems that way, but also I think it's because many dads have difficulty in building a good, strong, sweet Christian relationship with their daughter. The guy, you know, he's okay because I can throw a football at him, you know.
I can tackle him, and you know, and put the boxing gloves on him, but it doesn't look too good, you know. Six foot five dad out in the front yard, and here's a sweet little girl, you know, and she's got gloves on, and dad's trying to punch her, you know.
She don't understand that, you know. Now, some of them can, but some of them can't. Spiritual project that will help. Help her come to grips with the fact that she will not settle for anything less than God's best for her marriage.
That when she gets ready to marry, she wants God's best, and everything she does in her dating life and her social life is she's going to be thinking towards God's best. That if she's thinking about getting married out here somewhere, that she wants to make sure she puts herself into a position where she can have God's best, and then ask her, will you tell dad?
Will you purpose with me? Will you agree with me that if a boy comes to you and asks you out on a date, that you will tell him, yes, I'm so glad you asked me, and you know, I would love to go out with you, but before I can give you a specific answer, you have to speak to my dad.
Now, I just heard one the other day I thought was quite interesting. A dad gave his daughter a dime and told her, he said, always carry dimes in your purse, and no matter what a guy asks you to do, just say, I will be glad to do that if my dad says it's okay.
Here's a dime. I'll give you the number. Call him, and he said that worked, and that little girl, he said, these guys, you know, some of them wouldn't dare call, and you know, sometimes these boys come up with all kinds of things in school, and all kinds of suggestions, and so forth to them.
This little girl looked him right in the eye. She didn't run from him. She didn't say, how horrible of you. She said, is that what you want me to do? Yeah, all right. Call my dad. If he says okay, I will.
Then the guy said, you're crazy. I won't call your dad. He'll come in and shoot me. No, no. This guy said it was real fine. His daughter got married, and she was real grateful. Said she got married, went out for her honeymoon, and all of a sudden, the phone rang about three o 'clock in the morning.
Yeah, and she said, Dad, we made it okay. We're here. He said, oh, that's wonderful. She said, yeah, and my husband says he wants to talk to you, and he says, I don't want to talk to him, and he's hung up, and that's it, you know.
She went on, you know, and says, he has some suggestions that sound quite interesting, but he wants to ask you, and so you can do these things with them, and help them. Now, why, she says, should I do this?
Why would I want him to check with you? I think there are four or five reasons I want to give her as to why it will help her, and it'll help me, and it'll help that relationship where she can get to God's best.
Number one is, if a young man has to put forth effort on behalf of a young girl, he will appreciate her more. If he just comes up and says to her, hey, you want to go out with me? She says, yeah, no problem.
Big deal. Oh, look who I am. Yeah, I got her. Here she is, you know. Yeah, she's going out with me, but if he has to work a little bit for that, he will appreciate her more. Also, it decreases temptation.
It just decreases the temptation.