So seventh grade, it was the first time I remember, we were at my friend's house, and he had a vape with him, and he's just like, oh just do it, and blah, blah, blah, like, it's fine, it's just fun, and I'm like, you know what, let's just do it, like I'm just a young kid, you know, I guess necessarily my mindset was, kids do these things, it's normal, right, that was my justification for it, was everybody does this, so I remember I just did it, and kind of laughed about it, whatever, shook it off, and really didn't think much about it, and then a little bit after that, I smoked weed for the first time with some friends, and they're just telling me, you know, it's normal, it's normal, everyone does it, and I was like, you know what, okay, sure, everyone does it, can't be too upset, like I'm just a normal kid, I go to, you know, normal kid, go to normal school and all this stuff, so I smoked weed, I didn't necessarily like it, I wouldn't say I was ever really addicted to these things, it was more just to do it to fit in, more to do it to be cool, to have a lot of friends, and in coming to that, this is where I really started to find a dark place in my life, is I was really at the lowest, right, when I started to first found like pornography, and stuff like that, I was introduced to this at a very young age, and for a little while, I was hesitant, all my friends did it, and I was just like, no, I'm not doing this, like, it's just gross, I never really thought of it, but I remember I was in the seventh, or no, eighth grade, and that's when I was like, you know what, everybody does it, justify it, that was my mentality, was just justify it by, this is fine, it's a normal act, so I started watching porn when I was 13, I believe, and just, it was a daily practice for me, and I became very enriched in the culture of it, and just the idolatry of it, and at the time, I didn't know it was idolatry, and I remember even talking to my parents one day, my brother asked the question is, you know, is masturbation a sin, and my dad looked at him like, yeah, of course it's a sin, and that shook me, I had no idea, I thought it was just a normal thing, and I was like, whoa, like, you know what, but that still didn't save me, so I just began to hide it, and I just, at a really low point in my life, that brought into, I had a girlfriend at the time, and we were doing premarital stuff we shouldn't have been doing, and just lots of sexual sin, and I was just so addicted, and I remember I got caught, eventually, and I used almost Christ as like, when I needed Him in the moment, so I was like, no, no, no, I'm sorry, like almost like a fake repentance, I don't even know what real repentance was, but it was just kind of all fake, I was like, oh, I didn't mean to do this, I'm a Christian, all this stuff, and then I kind of backed it, pushed it under the rug, and a couple weeks after that, once I learned my lesson, I dipped right back into the same sin, I never had real faith that was backing my doing, I remember I was almost living two separate lives, essentially, there was the go -to -church DACs, and then there was the school DACs, and I remember even we were running on the track one day with my friends, and they were talking about just religion, and I remember me and my friend were like, oh, yeah, we're Christian, like, no, you're not, and I was like, yeah, no, we are, like, they were shocked, like, you guys don't, like, what, like, we thought you guys were just atheists, or whatever, and I feel like that, even at a young age, kind of struck me, but not to the sense, and I was like, well, they just don't know what they're talking about, so I would go to church, and my parents would, like, boast about me, and I would always come up to them, oh, I read this, I read this, and, oh, I did that, and I remember I was really humbled when my dad asked me, I was like, oh, I read Romans 1 and 2 today, he was like, okay, what was it about, I couldn't even tell him, I wasn't really reading to, you know, enjoy scripture, to see what God is saying in His word, I was just reading to please my parents, I was reading for them to, you know what I mean, see how good of a kid I am, and so that maybe they can give me a better Christmas present, or something, like, that was my mindset, was I want them to believe that I'm this, but it was never for Christ, it was never, you know what I mean, to glorify God, right, so I never truly felt bad in my heart, I felt bad because I hurt people, and hurt my friends, and family, or whatever, but it never changed my heart, my heart was still the same in the ugly place, so, recently, or about a year ago, I was, I remember, I was, a couple days before that, I just watched porn again, it was the typical, what I always did, and I remember I came across this sermon, I don't remember what the name of the sermon was, it was just on YouTube, I was just scrolling on YouTube, I think it was called, something about, like, sexual sin, or just what is real sexual sin, and I watched it, and I remember I just broke down, in tears, and I was just crying, and I was just like, you know, Lord, please, like, what am I doing, I don't want to keep going down this path, and I remember going through that, it was on a Sunday, and we came to church, we rode up to church on that Sunday, and I was still listening to the sermon, just still, like, my heart was broken, and I was just, you know, scared, and sad, and I go to church, and I remember the sermon was around, some sort of around those lines, about just trusting your brethren, and Christ can take the pain for how I lived, and that's truly when I would say I was saved, because I never, I would always claim, right, always claim this, you know, I'm fine, I can just move on if I feel bad, and my mindset really was, oh, I'll become a Christian, and I'll do this later when I'm older, but right now, when I'm young, I'm going to live my life, I'm going to enjoy the things I want, I'm going to do the things I want, but when I'm older, when I have a family, that's when I'll come back, right, almost as using Christ as a means to an end, but I remember reading a book, and the quote in the book said, you know what I mean, you're not guaranteed to live the lives that you think you're going to live.