Episode 33: Conference Review and Necessity of Christian Friendship

Rural Church Podcast 2.0

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Welcome to the Ruled Church Podcast. This is my beloved son with whom

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I am well pleased. He is honored and I get the glory. And by the way, it's even better because you see that building in Perryville, Arkansas?

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You see that one in Pechote, Mexico? Do you see that one in Tuxla, Guterres down there in Chiapas? That building has my son's name on it.

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The church is not a democracy. It's a monarchy. Christ is king. You can't be

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Christian without a local church. You can't do anything better than to bend your knee and bow your heart, turn from your sin and repentance, believe on the

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Lord Jesus Christ, and join up with a good Bible -believing church and spend your life serving

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Jesus in a local, visible congregation. Welcome to the

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Ruled Church Podcast, episode 33. I'm Alan Nelson, pastor of Perryville Second Baptist Church.

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With me is Eddie Ragsdale. Eddie, you go by many titles. What's your favorite?

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My favorite? Big Ed. My advisor in college,

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Dr. Robert Foster, he used to call me Big Ed. Well, there you go.

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Eddie is pastor of First Baptist Church of Marshall, Arkansas. Grateful to have you on the podcast today, all you listeners.

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Oh, Eddie, should I announce about the half dozen thing? Yeah, I think you should do that.

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We found out, I guess, a couple of weeks ago now that my wife is pregnant with our sixth child, so that makes a half dozen.

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Am I crazy? You're not crazy. It's cheaper by the dozen, so you just need six more.

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I am a little bit crazy, but maybe that has nothing to do with it. Yeah, maybe not.

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Hey, you know what else? It was really great to get to actually see you in person this weekend.

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We got to be together for the conference this weekend there at your church at Second Baptist Perryville.

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Thankful to the Conway Prairie Association for supporting that and for allowing you to organize that.

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Thank you, brother, for putting that together. I know it's a lot of work, but it was really beneficial, and I would encourage everybody, go online.

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I know that the sermons are posted, and all four sermons are well worth your time to go and hear those.

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I'll link the playlist from YouTube in the show notes, so you can go and find that.

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But let's walk through that for a minute. Let's walk through the conference day by day, and let's just kind of give some feedback, because I was very encouraged as well.

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It is an exhausting thing, but first I want to publicly thank again Dr. Tom Askell and Pastor Mike Stone.

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I'm grateful for those brothers. I'm grateful for their friendship. I'm grateful for their willingness to give their time to come down to Central Arkansas and be with us this past weekend, which by the time this comes out, it'll be a couple weekends ago.

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But also Dr. Owen Strand, and that'll bring us to Thursday. We started out on Thursday. But let's add this stuff in there too.

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Before we went to the Q &A, we had a nice meal together, and you got to be part of that.

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Go ahead. Yeah, and it was just great getting to just sit and have a good conversation.

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You know, you and I got to sit there with Pastor Mike Stone and just talk about what's happening in their church there in Blackshear, Georgia.

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And really, you know, the great thing about it is just their heart for Scripture and Scriptural preaching.

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You know, we were just discussing the places in the Bible where we're preaching and getting into right there at the dinner table, just talking about the text.

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And it was a very encouraging conversation for me. Yeah, a lot of fun too, because you get to hear these brothers from a distance all the time, but it's something else to sit across from the table from them and get to chat.

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So that was encouraging. Then we moved from that to the Q &A. Of course,

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I was part of that Q &A, so I'll start with you, and then I'll give some feedback. What did you think about the Q &A panel? I thought it was very helpful, specifically just hearing their heart for the future of the church.

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You know, a lot of times I think, especially those particular brothers, Brother Tom Askell and Mike Stone, a lot gets talked about with the

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SBC and the problems going on in the SBC. I know you guys talked about a little bit of that on the panel, but just hearing their heart for the local church and thinking through those things, even beyond just what affects the

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SBC, I thought the panel was really helpful, and Dr.

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Strand as well. You know, that was by design, because when I was getting this conference ready, that's one of the things

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I didn't want to do. You know, I'm ready to bash SBC as much as anyone, but there's enough of that going on, and I wanted to give more of a positive aspect of the church beyond the

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SBC. Because let's face it, we're going to live in a world one day, if the Lord tarries, where the

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SBC is either completely apostate or just doesn't exist anymore. And so the church is much bigger than the

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SBC, and so I really was encouraged by their responses.

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And, you know, some of the things that stood out to me in the Q &A, I guess, you know,

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I thought Pastor Stone answered that question really well about the need for or about the discussion about the amendment to the

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Constitution of the SBC regarding women pastors. I thought Dr.

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Strand was very encouraging about some things, you know, about the love of God for his people.

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And, you know, Dr. Askew, of course, always sharing his wisdom. I thought all three did good, and I was very encouraged, not only that, but the attendance and the feedback

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I was encouraged by. So I really, really want to commend

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Dr. Strand for even being a part of that. He had spent all day that day teaching and then engaging in that conversation as well, and I thought it was really good.

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Yeah, amen. All three of them, really, giving up their time and then, you know, like you say, Dr. Strand lecturing all day and then coming over.

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That was good. And then you went home that night, and then we, back to Marshall, and then

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Friday morning, so you weren't a part of this, but Friday morning we had a breakfast, which was really just some of our church folks, and then

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Wes and Kristen Brown came over, but we just enjoyed time together.

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You know, the speakers or anything like that weren't there, but we just enjoyed time together. And then we started setting up and getting ready for the lunch, and the lunch,

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I was very encouraged on Friday how many pastors showed up, and we were able to give out all those books.

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Have you got a chance to look at your books yet? I have not even gotten a chance to look through all of the books yet.

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We have a prayer meeting on Tuesday mornings in our association, and our associational missionary was at the lunch on Friday, and he was just commenting to me how good all the books were that he got, and I haven't even had a chance to look through all of them just because of the things

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I've had going on the last few days. But, yeah, it was really exciting to get a stack of good books.

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Well, that's encouraging. Did he make any comments about the lunch? Yeah, he said he thought it was real good.

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He especially, though, was just commenting on the books and how good a selection.

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A lot of those books were donated, so that was really encouraging. So what did you think about the lunch?

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Well, I was excited because even as I mentioned during the lunch,

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I had a question that came to mind actually during the Q &A on Thursday night, but that wasn't the kind of Q &A where –

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I mean, it was a panel discussion, not really a Q &A, and so I was able to ask that question myself, and I was really encouraged by the kind of the devotional thoughts that Tom and Mike shared, and it was really encouraging for the ministry.

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Dr. Askel talked about not leaving a place for two reasons.

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Do you remember what they were? You have to jog my memory. One was because of the people there, and one was because of the enemies there.

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Sometimes he's like, we don't think about that, but sometimes you don't leave a place because of those who are contending against the

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Gospel, and so I know there was one brother in particular, but that was very encouraging to him.

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I thought Mike and Tom, again, both did well, and what was great about that was just the camaraderie and the fellowship among pastors.

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It was very encouraging. Anything else about the lunch? You know, a big thank you to First Baptist Perryville for hosting that and making that space available.

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I know that, man, it's hard to get all of these things in one place, and you guys had a lot going on at your church for the sessions, and so it was very helpful to be able to go to First Baptist.

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Our facilities just aren't conducive to trying to set up, take down, you know, things like that.

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Okay, so now we get into conference proper on Friday night, and I was very encouraged.

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Of course, I got a call about 5 .15 from a church member that was working on stuff at the church, and he said, hey, do they know the right place because there's not very many people here, you know, but I understand how

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Baptists work, and if it starts at 6, you got folks showing up about 6 .02, but I was very encouraged by the attendance.

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I don't know how many people were there, but I know that we had set up 164 chairs,

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I believe, and someone counted 80, and that might be true, but I was thinking that there were 100 or more, you know, but anyway, what do you think about Friday night?

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Yeah, it was really great. I was actually probably the last person to walk in the door. Friday afternoon,

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I ran down to Hot Springs to watch a group of kids from our church shooting the state archery tournament, and so I was a few minutes late getting back, but yeah,

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I was really encouraged, you know. You know, when Tom began to speak and talked about the fear of the

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Lord, that was so helpful, I think, to set up the whole weekend, really.

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When we think about shepherding and pastoring, so often, you know, we hear a lot of technical things.

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This is how to do it better, or we hear encouragements to pray more or to get in the

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Bible more, and man, we need to do that, but what needs to motivate all of that is a right and holy reverence for our

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God, and so that was so helpful when Tom shared that with us.

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Yeah. I think in just getting our hearts right. Yes, yeah, definitely set the tone for the whole weekend, and then after that,

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Pastor Mike Stone preached on how to have a good goodbye from Acts chapter 20, and that was just,

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I don't know, the words to say. It's a pretty amazing message, and Dr.

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Askell really set up Pastor Mike very well there on the fear of God, and then we went straight into the life and character and conduct and conviction, as it were, of a pastor in such a way that when he's ready to say goodbye, whether it's the end of life or whether it's transitioning ministry positions or whatever, you have the integrity of a life well lived, as it were.

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Right. You know, I was struck by Mike's message because I know maybe the first thought on a lot of pastors' minds at the beginning of that message is, well,

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I hope that goodbye is a long time in the future. Yeah. You know, I mean, I don't want to go anywhere.

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You know, looking at my ministry here at Marshall right now and just encouraged by some things the

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Lord is doing and hoping that it'll be the Lord's will that we'll be here for a long time, but then thinking through the entire sermon that Mike preached, and really there is a sense in which we want to be preaching, teaching, shepherding our people in such a way that whether goodbye is in three months or in 30 years, we'll be able to have that good goodbye.

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It was a really helpful sermon. And man, I just have to say this. I have maybe only ever heard

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Mike Stone preach one other time before this. That brother can really preach.

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Yeah. He can really preach. It was good. Amen. I was grateful.

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And then one other aspect about Friday night that I want to mention is the singing. I was very grateful.

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You know, Gunnar did a great job, and then just people just sang. It's an underrated aspect of many of these conferences, and that is the singing.

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And it was so encouraging. Yeah. Now, let's not puff

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Gunnar up too much. We don't want his head to get puffed. No, he really did do a great job.

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Proud of Gunnar. And yeah, I thought the singing was fantastic.

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And then Friday night after the conference, we went over to our house.

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So we had gotten stuff for fajitas for Friday night for the speakers, and we had done that, went eating before with just a few of us.

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And so then we actually had a ton of food left. And so we invited several folks over. Speakers went home.

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But let's see, it was you and me and Michael Sanchez, Mike Alexander, Harold Smith, Gunnar, Adam, and Alex.

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Is that right? That's right. Oh, and Matthew. Oh, that's right.

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For a little bit. He left a little earlier than the rest of us. But that was a great time.

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Oh, yeah. What happened Friday night after the conference is why some of us pay money to go to conferences, because we like that aspect of it.

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And we got to talk. We got to encourage one another. And then we got to have, what, like an hour debate on pre -Millennium.

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I think it was a little longer than that. But yeah. Well, but it was good.

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It was really good. And it's OK. As we talk about friends and brothers in the

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Lord, it's OK to disagree about things. Not that they're unimportant. But we were able to have a civil discussion and challenge each other and joke with each other.

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It was very, very good and very encouraging. And we probably stayed up a little bit too late. I know you did.

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Well, it was funny, because Matthew, he actually left your house a little earlier, probably an hour before the rest of us.

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So he was going to get some sleep. He and I were staying in Gunner's camper.

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And so when I got back to the camper, there were some problems getting the heat to work correctly.

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So he was still awake. And we got all that taken care of.

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Gunner, man, Gunner is such a good host. He got everything working on the heat and the water heat and all that stuff.

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But I think that Matthew and I stayed up for maybe another hour after that, just discussing some things with some mutual friends and theological things that were going on.

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So it's hard to get to bed when you're gathered with brothers like this and just enjoying the fellowship.

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You're just excited to be together. A lot of times, we go for months without seeing these good friends.

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And it's just a chance to catch up and really have that fellowship time in the

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Lord. And then that brings us to Saturday morning. Saturday morning, we opened a little early, had coffee, donuts, those sorts of things.

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We had a bookstore. So hopefully, these are ideas for some of you listening, things to do in your own conference.

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I don't remember how long ago it was, Eddie, but we did an episode on conferences. And so we tried to build in plenty of time for fellowship.

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That's what I would say about a conference is don't stack everything so quickly on top of each other that you don't have time to hang out, because that's one of the things.

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So anyway, so Saturday morning, what are your thoughts? Once again, really appreciated

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Mike's message on preaching that pleases the Lord. We want to be pleasing in the way that we preach

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God's word. And as he just walked through 1

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Corinthians chapter 2 there, just sharing about. And you'll listen to him preach.

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I'm going, whatever you have to tell me about preaching, I want to hear. Yeah, yeah, that's right.

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And it was funny, but that was the longest message of the conference. And that was a message

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I was just sure, it kind of speaks to Pastor Mike here, but I was just sure that he was going to,

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I was sure that he was going to go quicker that morning because he had a plane to catch. Right.

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He actually just ran back and preached. And I think it was like 54 minutes or something.

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But yeah, because he was even in a hurry that day, but he preached and gave us the fullness of his time, as it were, and even then some.

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Preaching that pleases God. So good. And preaching

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Christ crucified and his resurrection. And so very good. And then

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Dr. Askel took, for the last message of the conference, Acts chapter 20 and worked through the overseers.

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Was that verse 28? Is it 28? Yeah, 28. Yeah. And so he preached that passage and it was very good about who elders are and the need for watching over the church and protecting it from wolves and the blood.

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And it was really complimentary with Mike's message the night before that was taken from the preceding passage.

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Yeah, that's right. Right. Yeah, like 17 through 27 or whatever it was. So it was very good.

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Once again, the singing was good. Afterwards, there was lots of hanging out afterward.

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And then the conference was over. So thoughts, comments? Well, we got a little bit afterwards, too, didn't we?

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Yeah, we did. We got to spend some more time together. But really, the advantage of these conferences, especially these kind, you know, years ago,

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I kind of swore off going to the big conferences. And I'm not saying I never will go to another big conference.

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I'm sure that I will. But I can't remember how many years ago.

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It's been now six, maybe five or six years. But we went, you know, within about a three -month span,

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I went to a couple of the big conferences. And what I realized in the midst of those conferences was that it was the people that I was traveling with and the time that I was spending with them.

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You know, I went with you and some of the other brothers from your association, one of those, and then some other brothers from a church in Conway to another one.

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And I really realized that what I really got out of the conference was not so much what the speakers had to say, not what

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John Piper or Votie Bauckham or those brothers shared as helpful as those sermons were, but it was really the time spent with my brothers face -to -face.

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And that is even more so the case when you go to these smaller conferences.

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I would really encourage folks, don't despise these small conferences.

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When you hear about a conference that's happening an hour away in a like -minded church, go to that.

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That is going to be beneficial even more than just the messages preached. It's going to be beneficial because of the relationships that are built.

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Even if you don't know the speakers, you know, assuming that you know the pastor that's putting it on or whatever and you know that he's faithful, you don't have to know all the speakers.

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You don't have to be famous. Go and listen to them and be edified and encourage one another in the

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Lord. And, you know, after all that, we really don't have a whole lot left on this episode, but I will mention

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Dr. Askew did a great job Sunday morning. He preached from Romans 15, 14 and talked about how we're competent to counsel.

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So it's good. The whole thing is good. And again, I'll put the link in our show notes. But kind of the last few minutes here, it kind of ties into this.

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We were going to talk about Christian friendship. And so I'll let you lead in with that.

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What were your thoughts on that? Well, I'll tell you one of the thoughts I had, and I was telling

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Adam Willett, our buddy Adam Willett, I was telling him this.

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Actually, when we were visiting after the panel discussion on Thursday night, that I remember a time when events like this conference were something that I just couldn't wait for the next one because it was just a place where I didn't have a lot of fellowship in the local church where I was at.

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And I told him we were kind of talking about the church that they're planning in El Dorado, and I was kind of sharing about what's going on in our church and got to talk to some other brothers about the things going on in their churches.

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And what I told Adam, I said, you know, I'm thankful for what the Lord's doing here at Marshall because there was once a time where I couldn't wait to get around you and Gunnar and Adam.

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And now I'm looking and I'm seeing that the kind of fellowship that used to,

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I only had available in these conferences, now is available in my local church. And once again,

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I would encourage you, build those kinds of strong Christian friendships wherever you can build them because over time,

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I think the Lord does use that to help us to build stronger fellowship and friendship within our local church.

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The Lord has not made us to be islands. He has made us to be people who have strong bonds to other

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Christians. And those conversations are crucial for the way that we grow up in Christ.

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And you need friends that aren't afraid to disagree with you. I think about our good friend, Harold Smith, our conversation

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Friday night and, you know, just the willingness to push back and wrestle with Scripture.

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And you need friends that are willing to point out when they see something going on in your life.

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You know, that's, we don't like that. Like we live in a society that just wants people to just tell you how great and how wonderful you are.

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You know, this is why social media is so popular. It's because you get to put forth whatever image you want to put forth, you know?

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And you just want people, you want the likes, you want the compliments. And that's important in a friendship, don't get me wrong.

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But also what's important is having those friends and brothers that are willing to pull you aside when something's off in your life and to help you when you're in need.

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You know, in that tough, you have some of those friends that it's great to be around, but when you need help, it seems like they're never available.

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You know, you need some of those true Christian friends that are willing to be there through thick and thin, willing to encourage you and pray with you, make you.

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The best friends that you can have are those who make you a better Christian. Right, right.

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You mentioned Harold. You know, I remember I had something happen last year in our church.

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It's been almost a year ago now. And I reached out to a few of you brothers, you and Harold and a few others.

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And I'll just tell you, Harold was like, yeah, man, I don't think you're ready for that.

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You know, he was willing to tell me, he was willing to say something hard, you know, something

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I didn't want to hear. And I do think that ability to either call one another out on sin or to love one another well enough to say the thing that needs to be said, it's more than a

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Christian acquaintance. These are our brothers, and it's real Christian friendship and fellowship. And I think every one of us as Christians, not just as pastors, but as Christians, we need that kind of friendship and fellowship.

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Amen. And I like how you say cultivate those wherever you can. And then obviously, you know, I'm fixing to turn a conversation here.

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Intentionally cultivate those in the church. And sometimes it's really hard. It's really hard because of different personalities.

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And you have to work really hard, and you have to be the one carrying the weight. You have to be the one sending the text.

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You have to be the one doing the invitation to come over to the house. I mean, whatever it may be, but it's worth it.

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Right. You know, and be willing to really be a friend.

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That might start with like, you know, somebody's got something going on on a Saturday, and you say, hey,

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I'm going to pitch in and help, you know, but do what you can to cultivate those kind of friendships.

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You know, you can't force them, but you can cultivate them.

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Well, and I think two things. One, you've got to show up.

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And I don't just mean at church. You've got to look. Not less than that. Not less than that.

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Certainly not less than show up at church, but you've got to show up when there are things, when you can show up and be around your brothers and sisters, and you can support them in some way.

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Like you said, whether that's helping them with some chore or being a person they can call on when they have a need like that, you've got to, you've got to be looking for opportunities to show up.

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The second thing though, is you've also got to be looking, not just to fall into what's comfortable.

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You know, if, if you're getting together at someone's house, or you're, or you're getting together there at the church for a fellowship meal, you know, we've mentioned recently that our church is having regular fellowship meals right now, both on Sunday and Wednesdays, but listen, if every time we have those meals, everybody just sits with the same people they always sit with and they kind of have the same conversation they have the last week, then that won't be as conducive as it will be.

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If we're getting around and making sure that we're where, Hey, I'm going to go over and sit with, with, you know,

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I've not talked to this lady or this guy about what's going on in their life in a couple of weeks.

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So I'm going to make sure and sit with them and just spend some time hearing about what's happening with their kids and with their family.

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And like this weekend with our brothers at the conference, you know, it was, I was able to ask some brothers,

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Hey, how are things in your churches? And, and I was able to actually hear,

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Oh, well, that's something I need to be praying about. But I didn't even know that that was going on.

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And so we have to go out of our way to connect with one another. That's good. Especially in a smaller church or a rural church, you can kind of have all these boundaries drawn where these people are already friends or whatever.

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And you need to, you need to intentionally go out of the way for that. And I'll give you some examples too of, you know, like Saturday night.

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And I intentionally kept this just to our church, but Saturday night, we went out with Dr. Askel and John, by the way, getting to meet

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John was great too. And hang out with him and what an amazing beard, but we went out and we took the church fan and guys just got to talk and chat the whole way there, you know, and, and they, and, and again, it's not that you don't talk at church, you do, and you fellowship and all that, but man, these times outside of the assembly are really helpful at times, you know, and it could, it could be even just, if you're a pastor listening or, you know, you know, a ministry leader in some way, or, you know, have any kind of influence, it could be just something as simple as,

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Hey, Saturday in two weeks, we're going to go out to eat, be mindful people's budget or whatever, but, and we're going to go together.

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If you can, you have a vehicle and ride together and use the extra time of to chat and to talk.

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I mean, it's just, it's, it's so easy in one sense to cultivate friendships and yet Americans and our individualistic lives, we find it so difficult, but as Christians, we should value godly friendships and it's worth the effort to, to cultivate those.

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Yeah. And, you know, the one other thing I'd want to say on that is as much as possible, we don't want it to only be one -off situations.

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Like we want to make it pretty regular that we're looking for opportunities to have these conversations.

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Like, I don't want it to be just once every couple of months when we have, you know, we have some kind of special get together, but we're really looking for how can we foster these on a, just a regular basis, because very quickly, if we think that fellowship in local church is just every couple of months, we try to plan an outing for the old folks, or we try to plan a fun

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Friday night for the youth. Those are great. I'm not saying don't, I'm not saying don't take the don't take the senior adult class, you know, to see the leaves in the fall or.

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Yeah, but you're saying. Much more than that. That's right. Yes. This isn't event driven friendship.

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It's, you know, this is life lived together. That's right. It's kind of like with your, your family, you love the events, but you don't just live from vacation to vacation.

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You know, that's right. Vacations are great, but they're a culmination of your life lived together. And so I think,

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I think that's a, I think that's a good word. So one way, you know, use technology, man, just about like text people.

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Weekly daily check in just in this. Podcast because you made me think about it.

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I actually just sent a message to some guys and ask how their Bible readings going, you know, it's not hard to do.

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It takes two seconds, be willing to be a little bit invasive in people's lives. I'm not talking about rude, but be invasive, love one another.

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And of course, let me mention this and then we can wrap it up. But obviously here we're talking about friendships between the same gender.

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So men and men and women and women, it's just, you just can't go the other way.

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You know, there's just, there's just, there's a certain boundaries there that you just, you can't cross.

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And so, and you need it. And I need other men in my life to pour into me and you do too.

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And, and me and the poor and others. And then ladies, the same as same as true for you. So, well, that, that episode went fast.

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You got any final thoughts? You know, I'll, I'll just say this brother.

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I really appreciate you as a, as a close friend in the Lord. You know, you, you came about in my life by God's providence at a pivotal moment.

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And I was just thinking this morning about how that most of the people outside of my local church that I would count as some of my best friends in the

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Lord. I would in the natural realm.

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I can't explain how I would know them other than Quatro Nelson. That's funny.

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I'm thankful. I'm thankful not only for you, brother, but for all the relationships you have cultivated in my life.

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That's kind brother. I, I'm glad I went to that associational meeting that night. I, this is our 10 year anniversary, man.

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You know that? I know. What are you getting me? Well, it's not quite time.

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That'll be the fall. I got some, I got some good news for you when this episodes, when this episode airs the following Sunday, I'll be at your church, man.

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I can't wait. I think it's going to be going to be an awesome day in the Lord. We're just going to, we're going to fellowship.

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We're going to do a lot of these things that we talked about in this podcast that day. I'm looking forward to it.

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Yeah, I'm glad. I'm grateful that Jacob Robinson's able to preach here and we're just excited about it.

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Well, we've got a couple more episodes and then we'll have officially surpassed

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Rural Church Podcast 1 .0. Thank you for joining us on Rural Church Podcast 2 .0.

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Say goodbye, Eddie. We'll see you guys next week. If you really believe the church is the building, the church is the house, the church is what

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God's doing. This, this is his work. If we really believe what Ephesians says, we are the hoemas, the masterpiece of God.