Genesis 31 Conflicts Must Come

Cornerstone Church

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You open us in a word of prayer. Sure. Father God, thank you for this day. Thank you for being so gracious to us and merciful to us.

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Thank you that we can come here and gather with like -minded believers and those watching online. We pray that we would be able to receive the word of God and that Jeff would preach it with power and that it might edify us and correct us and maybe even people would get saved out there hearing a message today.

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We thank you for the book of Genesis and thank you for preserving your word all these years and it's still true today.

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We thank you and we pray these things in Jesus' name. Amen. Amen. We love peace.

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Christians are a people of the spirit of God who is the spirit of peace. We love when there's peace in the church, peace in our homes, peace in our nation.

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We don't want to be at war. We are a peace -loving people. But we understand that conflicts must come.

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The word of God says no doubt there must be differences or conflicts among you in order to show who is approved of the

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Lord. In fact, conflicts have been a major part of church history and maybe you'd acknowledge conflicts have played a part in your life.

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Anybody here can acknowledge that conflicts have had a part, a big part even, in your

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Christian walk? Did you know in church history that God has used conflicts for good?

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The major creeds of our churches that we have, from Nicaea to Chalcedon to the great canons of Dort and the

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Westminster Confession, all of these things were born out of conflicts. When the Protestant Reformation first took hold, it was a conflict against church leaders, wasn't it?

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Martin Luther, John Calvin, Zwingli. I think Zwingli died in battle because the conflict was so intense.

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But after the Protestant Reformation took root in Europe, there was peace for almost 100 years.

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Peace theologically. Everybody agreed with the theology that was taught in the

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Geneva School. We're talking from the Reformed tradition. There was also Lutherans, often Germany and other parts of the

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Reformation. There was Anabaptists, but the Reformation proper, the Magisterial Reformation as they call it, was at peace until about 100 years later, someone named

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Jacobus Arminius decided to protest and he issued what came to be called the

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Remonstrance. Have you heard of the Remonstrance? In about 1609, this is now 90 years or so into the

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Reformation, the Remonstrance was a strong verbal protest, an attack, a strong attack on some of the central tenets of the

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Reformation. The Remonstrance had the whole church and the universities in an uproar because it objected to the high view of sovereignty of God and sought to establish the importance of human free will.

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And so it had five points of Arminianism. But because of those five points, all of Christendom, all of the university leaders of the

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Reformation came together and studied these questions much more in depth than they had done before.

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And they issued the five points of Dort, which you guys have probably heard of as TULIP, Total Depravity, Unconditional Election, Limited Atonement, Irresistible Grace, Perseverance of the

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Saints. That wonderful council helped us come to the place of the

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Westminster Confession, Defining Orthodoxy, and then even the Baptists took from that what was called the 1689

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London Baptist Confession. All of this good, these amazing creeds, which then shaped

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Christianity, not only in the continent, but here in the United States of America, they were born out of conflict.

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Had it not been for Jacobus Arminius protesting with his strong verbal attack on the leaders of the

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Reformation, they never could have defined what they believed with such specificity and worked through the problems.

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So here's the idea. Conflicts must come. They are not, they do not feel good when they happen.

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Conflicts do not feel good when they happen. But there's a plan for them, and God will see us through these conflicts to final resolution.

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The resolution that comes from conflict is better for us than had we just been cruising along.

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Because cruising along, oftentimes, you never attain to higher ground. It's only when faced with an obstacle that you're forced to work through it and get to an even better place than where you were cruising at.

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Make sense? Conflict forces you to work through things and to grow.

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Conflict, therefore, is not in and of itself bad. Often it comes from a source of immaturity or unreasonableness, but together, as you work through those things as Christians, you actually come out stronger on the other side.

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So we shouldn't be afraid of conflict. Turn with me to Genesis 31. And this is a chapter about conflict.

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Major conflict between Jacob and Laban, and it almost comes to the point of swords being drawn.

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Some heads almost rolled, but by God's grace, it all worked together to peace. They were able to work through things, and it turns out a much better situation with Jacob going back to where he belongs in the promised land, because he didn't stay comfortable where he didn't belong.

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So the conflict actually came from God, His providence. Stan, would you read

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Genesis 31, verses one to three? Jacob heard that Laban's sons were saying,

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Jacob has taken everything our father owned and has gained all this wealth from what belonged to our father.

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And Jacob noticed that Laban's attitude toward him was not what he had been.

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Then the Lord said to Jacob, go back to the land of your fathers and to your relatives, and I will be with you.

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All right, so who told Jacob to go back to the promised land? God. It was the

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Lord. He heard a word from the Lord. But prior to that, what was the conflict that was brewing under the surface?

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That was conflict right there.

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Now, the arrangement that they had made was peaceable between Laban and Jacob. The only problem was

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God blessed Jacob and didn't bless Laban to that degree. And so it looked like from the perspective of the brothers that Jacob was pilfering or gaining advantage or even stealing from their dad.

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But here's the actual issue. The source of the conflict was the unreasonableness of those who were gossiping about Jacob.

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Look at verse one. Jacob, they were saying

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Jacob has taken all that was our father's. And from what was our father's, he has gained all his wealth.

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Are they looking to God as the source of Jacob's blessing? Or are they considering Jacob wrongly attaining?

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There's an accusation in that. They're gossiping about him. So here is the source of the conflict.

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Their own misunderstanding or misappraisal of what was happening right before their eyes.

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Now, Stan, I'm gonna ask you to read verses four to 16, but here's the big principle from that section that you just read.

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Comes from the song, God Moves in Mysterious Ways. Behind a frowning providence,

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God hides a smiling face. Behind a frowning providence,

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God hides a smiling face. It seemed very painful, frowning of a providence, that the brothers now are against Jacob.

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He didn't do anything to them. All of a sudden, he's hearing rumors that they're upset with him.

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And yet, who was behind this conflict? God.

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In his providence, God is gonna send him back to the promised land. The conflict must come.

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It was for good. This is Romans 8, 28. We know that for those who love God, all things, does all things include the conflicts that we have with family members?

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An unreasonable son or son -in -law or daughter or cousin or aunt or uncle. Does even that come from the hand of the

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Lord? It does. You see in a lot of families, a favored son or a favored daughter.

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That's the instrumental cause. So on the human level, secondary causes, as the Westminster Confession, chapter three, part one, talks about God works all things.

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He whatsoever comes to pass, but not without secondary causes. In fact, this establishes the fact of secondary causes.

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It could be favoritism on the human level that caused the conflict. Or it could be, in this case, the gossip of the brothers and their wrong understanding.

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Unreasonable thinking. That caused it. But the point here is, God was over even their twisted thinking.

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He had accounted for that. It was part of his plan. And his plan is being worked out through their nonsense.

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That's the big idea. So Stan, let me ask you to read again four to 16. You're such a good reader and it's a big section, so I'm gonna cut you loose.

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So Jacob sent word to Rachel. Come out to the fields where your flocks were.

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He said to them, I see that your father's attitude toward me is not what it was before.

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But the God of my father has been with me. You know that I have worked for your father with all my strength.

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Yet your father has cheated me by changing my wages 10 times.

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However, God has not allowed him to harm me. If he said the speckled ones will be your wages, then all the flocks gave birth to speckled young.

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And if he said the streak ones will be your wages, then all the flocks bore streak young.

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So God has taken away your father's livestock and has given them to me. In breeding season,

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I once had a dream in which I looked up and saw that the male goats mating with the flock were streaked, speckled, or spotted.

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The angel of God said to me in the dream, Jacob, I answered, here

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I am. And he said, look up and see that all the male goats mating with the flock are streaked, speckled, or spotted.

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For I have seen all that Laban has been doing to you. I am the God of Bethel, where you are anointed, a pillar of where you made a vow to be.

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Now leave this land at once and go back to your native land. Then Rachel and Leah replied, do we still have any share in the inheritance of our father's estate?

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Does he not regard us as partners? Not only has he sold us, but he has used up what was paid for us.

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Surely all the wealth that God took away from our father belongs to us and our children.

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So do whatever God has told you. Okay, so from this discussion between Jacob and his wives, we learn how unjust

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Laban has been. He has changed the wages of Jacob. How many times? 10 times!

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And here's what was going on. They had an arrangement that, all right, Jacob will take the speckled and Laban will take the streak.

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And so what does God do? In order to bless Jacob, they're all born speckled and Jacob gets rich and Laban is sitting here thinking, hey, you're taking all the sheep, but that was the deal.

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So he changes the terms. I'll take the speckled, you take the streak. And so what does God do? They're all born streaked and all the speckled are not being born.

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And so Laban, clearly it's the doing of God, but Laban is the unjust one who sets the terms, dictates the terms, tries to change them for his own advantage and can't get ahead of God.

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This is the Haggai principle, if you've studied the book of Haggai. When you're in the will of the Lord, you can trust

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God to provide everything you need for life or godliness, but when you are neglecting something of God, it's as if your pockets have holes in them.

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Everything you do, when you do put money in your pocket, it's just gonna fall out. It'll burn a hole through your pocket.

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You can't be blessed in anything you do. In the case of Haggai, they had neglected to rebuild the temple.

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Meanwhile, they were paneling their own houses. And so they could never get ahead. Everything seemed hard and worse.

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And the problem was they were fighting against God and you don't ever win that battle. So Laban is actually fighting against God.

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Jacob is in the right here. He's being blessed. God is speaking to him and telling him what to do. And here's where he stands.

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Alienated from his own people, his father -in -law Laban blaming him, all of the sons mad at him, and he did nothing wrong.

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Isn't that amazing? But here's the principle. If we know that we're good with our

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God, and if our spouses are with us, there is virtually no amount of opposition that we can't handle.

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Amen. Think about that. When you're right with your wife, when you and your wife are good, and you're right with your

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God, or if you're single, then you're right with your God, you don't have a spouse, but if you're right in the core of your home and with your

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God, then the whole world could be against you and you feel stronger than the world. Isn't that amazing how

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God has designed these things? In this story, are the wives with Jacob or against Jacob?

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And there's kind of an irony there because I just pluralized wives. When you're good with your spouse is, put an

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S in there. In our case, it's only spouse. But that's, again, the brokenness of this situation in the

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Old Covenant. When Christ comes, the church will be founded on much better things than the Old Testament allowed polygamy.

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Now we're into the right design of God with monogamy. But in any case, it says, if we know we're good with our

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God and our spouse, there's virtually no amount of outside opposition that we can't handle. Look at verse six.

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You know, he's talking to his wives, and they do know. Jacob served with all his strength.

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They know he didn't do anything wrong to Laban. They're with him. And then when he asked them, look at verses 14 and following,

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Rachel and Leah answered and said, our father doesn't have anything left for us as an inheritance.

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He's not seeking to give us an inheritance. We're not taking. We're not the takers and the moochers.

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This is God who gave by the reproducing of the flock. They get it. It's not like we're doing anything against him.

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So they're with Jacob. They fully agree with their husband. And again, their husband is a bit weird.

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But I think the concept here is this idea that the rightful wife, and here where God is overlooking it, both of them are legitimate wives, not in the grand scheme of how

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God designed it, but in his allowance, he would bring forth the nation of Israel through these two women, plus the concubines.

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It's his providence over even that brokenness. All that to say, they're with him.

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He's got a solid core, and he feels strong because he's with his wife. He knows he's right with God.

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What can man do to me? That is how we should think. Focus on, if you're married, listening online or in this room, pour your heart into your marriage.

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Make sure you and your wife are strong and that you're on the same page and that that page is

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God's page. This book is open. You're doing it by the book. You're together in that. Then let the whole world come against you.

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They can't touch you. If the home is strong, you are strong. Jacob is in actually a good place, even though he's got his whole world,

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Laban and all the brothers and presumably all the hired hands. They're all thinking, oh, look how rich he is.

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It's really the politics of envy, which is all Marxism is, by the way. It's be mad at the fact that someone else has more than you.

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It's jealousy. It's envy going on. That's all. So verses 17 to 21,

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Barbara, if you could read. Now I'm sure

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Jacob feels justified in this decision, but is this according to his nature in which he was born as the heel grabber, which means deceiver, or was this more in keeping with his new birth and his new walk with God?

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Is he still acting like a trickster or is he standing up facing issues, taking them head on, man to man?

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In other words, do you approve of him taking his wives and fleeing? Could have just said we're leaving, right?

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Yeah. Before he left. He needed to. Yeah. It's still, that's still the guy's daughters that he's never gonna see again.

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Right, yeah. And I think that we're, the hint is in verse 20. Jacob tricked Laban, the Aramean. Yeah. That's how the

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ESV translates it. Again, he's tit for tat. Yeah. You know, it justifies the meat.

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Look, I mean, it's like, this guy is ridiculous. I'm gonna punch him in the teeth. He should have turned the other cheek and been more gracious towards Laban.

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Taking head on. Yeah. Did you ever hear the term, you can't trick a trickster? Yeah. That's true.

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They trick each other all the time. Yeah, they do all the time. That's so good, Tim. You can trick a trickster. And I think there is a little bit of that, what goes around comes around mentality here.

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And it kind of does, right? Is the principle, and this is not karma, but the biblical concept of you reap what you sow.

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Galatians 6, 7, do not be deceived. God is not mocked. For whatever one sows, that will he also reap.

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What is Laban reaping in this part of the story? He's reaping what he sowed.

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He changes the wages 10 times and he's gossiping and all this envy that he's stirring up.

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And eventually, Jacob's like, all right, farewell. Enjoy yourself and your speckled ones, which

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God isn't gonna bless. You guys do what you can with what you got. We're okay. And we're out.

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Yeah. Also, it's interesting that they're accusing Jacob of taking everything, but really it was them who was cheating

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Jacob the whole time. Yes, yeah. And now they're getting what really what God, I get it, could be disciplining them for that.

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But it's crazy how a lot of people do that, where they're the ones doing it, but they'll blame the other person for the very thing they're doing.

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Like, you're taking things from me, but no, really, you guys were the ones trying to cheat. That's what the whole Democratic Party does.

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It's part of human nature. True. Yeah, it's part of human nature. With the two daughters, how much had he actually laid up for them as an inheritance?

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Zero. He had nothing. He was giving them nothing. Everything he had was laid up for his sons who were angry about how blessed

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Jacob was. That we just learned. Yet in their minds, Jacob is taking everything from them.

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They're just, they're twisted in their thinking. It's also interesting that Jacob went there and he had nothing, and now he's leaving with everything.

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With everything. And God does this as a principle. Remember Abraham in Egypt? He plundered the

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Egyptians as he came out, and then Moses will do the same thing later, plundering the

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Egyptians. They had to give him all their gold when they came out on the night that the firstborn were killed. This is just God's way of blessing who he wants to bless.

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And here he wants to bless Jacob. Israel. Not Laban. If you find yourself fighting against God, you're gonna end up blaming

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God's people. That's what happens too. The world hates Christians largely because Christians are under the blessing of God.

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And they're miserable. The world in rebellion against God is not happy. They're miserable in their homes, in their lives, and what we have is the fruit of the spirit.

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We actually are happy people. And they envy that. And I'm not necessarily saying rich, but sometimes there are financial blessings too.

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The most financially blessed nation in the history of the world happens to be the most

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Christian country in the history of the world, the United States of America. You wonder why Iran hates us and so many of these

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Muslim countries? Well, they're still riding on these camels. Sorry, that's not politically correct.

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But there is a blessing on the people of God. And there's a jealousy because of that.

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Marx was completely jealous of people who had more.

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He was destitute and was a moocher his whole life. He lived off of Engels money and never earned anything.

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But he hated those who earned. And so,

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Stan, you worked so hard in your work with the trailer company. Everything you got, you worked for.

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But I'm sure there are people who look down on you or hate you for the way you prospered.

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If not in your locale, at least in the world. The Antifa types would think, ah, he's this white guy who got everything by oppression.

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What was the DEI? Diversity, Equity, Inclusion actually should be, yes,

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Dedicated, Educated, Intelligent is a much better rubric than Diversity, Equity, Inclusion. I always, and people would say, oh, look what you're doing.

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You're the number one guy in the country. I said, I'm writing on the coattails of the owner of this company because God has blessed him.

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And I see that. If you can recognize God's blessing to someone else,

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I said, I'm writing on his coattails because of his blessings. Wow, Stan, that's powerful. Yeah, and you acknowledge the blessing of God on that owner.

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Yes. And it was because of his Christian walk and his faithfulness that you said, I'm with him.

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And you described it as writing his coattails. Right. Wow, Stan, that's powerful. Thank you for sharing that.

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Candy, would you read for us 22 to 24? I came to the bar and we had a meal.

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In a dream by night, he said to him, be careful not to say anything to Jacob. There's a little word there.

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So layman's coming in hot. This could have gotten like swords drawn kind of thing. I'm taking my daughter's back.

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You're dead. But God spoke to him and said, be careful not even to say anything good or bad.

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You be careful with your tongue, let alone your sword. That is powerful. And here's the principle. God restrains the evil of men's hearts.

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I spoke about this on Sunday. There is so much wickedness in the totally depraved heart that were it not for the restraint of God, we couldn't go to the grocery store in peace.

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And it gets to that point. Sometimes you'll see the pulling back of God's restraint where there's parts, even in this country, where parts of the inner city, you feel at danger just walking outside of your house at night.

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There's a pulling back of the restraint of the wickedness of men's heart. Here, God restrains layman, averting a disaster of which

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Jacob knew little. How much was in the heart of layman, how much rage, where that could have gone, but for God.

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And again, 2 Thessalonians chapter two, verses six and seven in your notes, you know what is restraining the

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Antichrist now, so that he may be revealed in his time, the mystery of lawlessness is already at work.

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Only he who now restrains it will do so until he is out of the way.

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The Holy Spirit is restraining the wickedness of man on earth. He even speaks to laymen.

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Yeah. I've been advised in Bible studies, the first guy

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I've come to, Wow. I was told that. I didn't even know you had a conflict like that when

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I mentioned something, but I know how the world works. There was a spirit of jealousy toward you.

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And the restraint was that you had a boss over you. When he's gone, the guy was gonna kill you? Yeah. Wow. Tim, would you read for us 25 to 32?

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Sure, and layman overtook Jacob. Now Jacob had pitched his tent in the hill country and layman with his kinsmen pitched tents in the hill country of Galilee.

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And layman said to Jacob, what have you done that you have tricked me and driven away my daughters like captives of the sword?

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Why did you flee secretly and trick me and did not tell me so that I might have sent you away with mirth and songs and tambourine and lyre?

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And why did you not permit me to kiss my sons and my daughters farewell? Now you have done foolishly.

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It is in my power to do you harm. But the God of your father spoke to me last night saying, be careful not to say anything to Jacob, either good or bad.

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And now you have gone away because you long greatly for your father's house. But why did you steal my gods?

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Jacob answered and said to layman, because I was afraid for I thought that you would take your daughters from me by force.

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Anyone with whom you find your gods shall not live. In the presence of your kinsmen, point out what

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I have that is yours and take it. Now Jacob did not know that Rachel had stolen him.

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Wow. So fear escalates the situation.

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He ran because by his own admission, I was afraid. Now, do you think layman is a liar,

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L -I -A -R, or would have celebrated with the liar, L -Y -R -E?

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He tells him, if you had just come and told me I want to go back to the promised land with everything I have and my daughters,

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I would have thrown you a party, tambourines and dancing and feasting. And the liar, which one is it?

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He's a liar. He's a liar, yes. There's no way he would have reacted like that. When I read that,

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I just said, this guy's lying through his teeth. He's lying through his teeth. You know he would not have reacted like that.

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He shows by the fact that he's in hot pursuit of them and he even says, I could have done you harm.

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I mean, that's even like a thought. I could have killed my daughter's husband. Daughter's husband.

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I could have killed you, but I'm not going to do that because God told me not to even say anything bad.

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But he does say, see, it's okay that he questions what was unethical.

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Like, couldn't you have at least told me that you guys are leaving so we could have said bye? Like, I could have kissed my daughters goodbye.

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Here's a principle that talking actually helps. Very often, conflicts escalate because the only people that are talking are other people behind the scenes.

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Who was talking earlier in the story? Clearly Laban and all the sons about how rich Jacob was getting.

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Of course he's hearing it because when people gossip, it's almost as if you don't expect that it's going to get back to the person.

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But somebody who likes to gossip with you, what do you think they want to go do? Yeah, and they want to tell, do you know what somebody's saying about you?

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Do you know what they said? Because if they're the kind of person that would listen to you gossip, they probably want to talk to the other person about what you said.

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That's the problem about the little, be careful what you say, there's a little birdie. Little birdie that might hear it.

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That's it. Okay, and if you don't, then there's division. They're thinking up things that aren't true.

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We have your, we have a liar. That's the escalating of it. Yeah, and it keeps escalating. So the conflict keeps going bigger and bigger and bigger because you didn't communicate the truth.

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But here they're talking and that's good. And this has potential to deescalate. But now that there's some information that Jacob doesn't know, introduce another wrinkle to the problem.

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Now his own wife actually did steal the father's idols. There's sin in his own camp that he doesn't know about.

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And she has to conceal that he doesn't know, but how do you think he's gonna react now towards Laban?

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Tim, could I have you read again? Sure. This is crazy. Verses 33 to 35. Sure. So Laban went into Jacob's tent and into Leah's tent and into the tent of the two female servants, but he did not find them.

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And he went out of Leah's tent and entered Rachel's. Now Rachel had taken the household gods and put them in the camel's saddle and sat on them.

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Laban felt all about the tent, but did not find them.

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And she said to her father, "'Let not my Lord be angry that I cannot rise before you, "'for the way of the woman is upon me.'

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So he searched, but did not find the household gods." Is she telling the truth?

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Lying. Liar! Yeah, learned it from her dad, learned it from her husband a little bit.

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These guys lie like that's their language, right? So Rachel here is sinning, but does

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God still use her sin for his purpose of blessing

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Jacob? I think so. Remarkably, he does. In Psalm 76 10, it says, "'Surely the wrath of man shall praise you.'"

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Now the wrath of man is the opposite of praising God, right? But the psalmist is saying even the wrath of man will praise you.

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God will be glorified in all things. There was a very famous sermon at the start of the Revolutionary War preached by our own

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Princeton guy, what was it, Witherspoon, John Witherspoon. And it was called, "'The wrath of man shall praise you.'"

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This was his text. The title of the sermon was something about the providence of God, sovereignty of God over the wrath of man.

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But the passage was Psalm 76 10. And he talked about how this wrath, this conflict between King George and the revolutionaries is escalating and escalating.

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But all of that is under the providence of God. God is the one who is working all these things for the good of his people, including the wrath of man and the wrath of man in war.

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He's referring to this impending war that they're gonna fight. Even this is within God's plan to bless his people.

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It's amazing how God works all things together for good, even sinful things like lying.

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The wrath of man, the sinful tongue, the lying of his own wife, part, it's still

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God's plan to bless Jacob. Now does that justify her and her sin? In justifies the means?

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No. No. God is over these things. We are the secondary cause in this world of things that happen, and we're responsible for our own sinfulness.

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We reap what we sow. And I don't know how God disciplines Rachel for this later, but she clearly is lying.

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But now, here's one result of it. It stirs up wrath.

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The wrath of man. Now who do you think's gonna be angry when he has all of his possessions searched, and in his mind, he's falsely accused of stealing the household of God's, who's gonna be mad now?

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Laban. Jacob. Well, Laban thinks he's stolen from, but now he can't prove it, and he's like, oh, maybe somebody else took it.

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It could've been one of the sons. It could've been anybody. At this point, he's probably feeling a little bit salty, embarrassed.

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But who's gonna be angry? Jacob. Let's read it. Verses 36 to 42.

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Tim, if you could do it again. Yeah, Jacob became angry and berated Laban. Jacob said to Laban, what is my offense?

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What is my sin that you have hotly pursued me? For you have felt through all my goods.

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What have you found of all your household goods? Set it here before my kinsmen and your kinsmen that they may decide between us two.

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These 20 years I have been with you, your ewes and your female goats have not miscarried and I have not eaten the rams of your flocks.

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What was torn by wild beasts I did not bring to you. I bore the loss of it myself.

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From my hand you required it, whether stolen by day or stolen by night. There I was, by day the heat consumed me and the cold by night and my sleep fled from my eyes.

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These 20 years I have been in your house. I served you 14 years for your two daughters and six years for your flock and you have changed my wages 10 times.

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If the God of my father, the God of Abraham and the fear of Isaac had not been on my side, surely now you would have sent me away empty handed.

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God saw my affliction and the labor of my hands and rebuked you last night. Wow. It is so much easier to see the fault of other people than to see our own.

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Jacob can't even see that his deceiving wife has stolen from Laban.

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He can't see any validity in Laban's point that hightailing it out of town with his two daughters was not really a cool thing to do.

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But he can very clearly recite everything that Laban did to him.

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How he tricked him after seven years of labor, he labored seven years more. He was always the one that had to do the work.

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When something was devoured, he'd be the one that take the loss instead of splitting it between owner and worker.

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No arrangements, Laban always took, took, took. In Jacob's mind, he can list everything.

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Isn't that true about our conflicts? Yes. Take the seed and they'll throw that canister up to you day and night.

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They won't take on themselves. Responsibility. Yep. Very good, Stan. And that's the point

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I think here. In fact, did you notice that Jacob can even hypothesize, conjecture what would have happened in other circumstances if God hadn't so poured blessing on him and he was destitute, he was the one that got all the spotted and Laban had gotten the speckled and Laban had gotten rich?

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What does Jacob postulate in this hypothetical counterfactual? The whole idea of Molinism is what would

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God have done in a given world, which is nonsense. Here, Jacob, in his nonsense, what does he say?

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Look at verse 42. If God, my father, the

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God of Abraham and the fear of Isaac had not been on my side, surely, does he know that?

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No, can't be sure. You can't be sure of that. You're not God. You don't know the counterfactuals of hypothetical worlds.

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Surely now, you would have sent me away empty -handed. I think it's probably true. I think

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Laban was so selfish, he probably wouldn't have given them anything. And certainly the daughters didn't think he had an inheritance for them.

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You would have sent me away. But see, I think that's an overstatement. I think he's guessing at that point.

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And he's a reading character. Like, I kind of see your history, Laban. But the point is, all he can see is

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Laban's faults. He doesn't confess anything of his own. And now, he's flying into a fit of rage.

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It said at the beginning of this section, he berated Laban for looking through the stuff.

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So now, he's become the overly aggressive one. Isn't that how conflicts go? Yeah. And did you notice, he even has, a lot of times, people like this have an essence of, poor me,

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I had to do all this. Yeah. I served the day and night in the hot and the cold. That's totally

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Jacob right here. Yeah. He's just the, woe is me. I worked so hard and you've done nothing for me.

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It's kind of like, I had to walk to school uphill both ways in the snow. Yes. It's much easier to find fault in others.

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If you're in a conflict, slow down. Take a breath. Examine your own heart. Maybe there is something that you contributed to it.

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Something, maybe. Jacob didn't do that. All right, finally, I'll read it out. 43 to 55.

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Then Laban answered and said to Jacob, the daughters are my daughters. The children are my children.

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The flocks are my flocks. And all that you see is mine. Is he right about that? No. Because when he gave the hand of his daughter in marriage, he gave

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Jacob's wives to him. They're not his daughters, but they're not his possessions.

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The flocks are Jacob's because it was rightly negotiated and Jacob was the one whom God blessed.

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So he's out of his mind. But that's how he thinks. And this is why he's been such a bad manager.

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Because he thinks through this prism of his own, this lens of his own contorted reasoning, unbiblical, unjust thinking.

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But what can I do this day for these my daughters or for their children whom they have born? Verse 44, come now.

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Ah, look at the peace of God resolving a conflict. It's remarkable.

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Didn't he come in with a sword? I could have killed you. And didn't God have to restrain him and say you better not touch, let alone not only not touch, but even say anything bad to this man.

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He put the fear of God in him to slow down his role. And now he says, come now, let us make a covenant, you and I.

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Let it be a witness between you and me. That's remarkable. Do you think God can solve our conflicts, too?

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You think the peace of God can come right over that? Amen. So Jacob took a stone and set up as a pillar.

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Jacob said to his kinmen, gather stones. And they took stones and made a heap. And they ate there by the heap.

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They're eating together. That's a remarkable way to bring people together, by the way. Invite someone to a meal.

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It's a lot harder to be angry when you're sitting down across a table and enjoying food.

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It's one of God's blessings to bring people together to sit around a table. It says,

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Laban said, this heap is a witness. Oh, I missed something there. So Jacob took a stone, verse 45, and set it up as a pillar.

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Jacob said to his kinsmen, gather stones. And they took stones and made a heap. And there they ate by the heap.

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I already read that. Laban called it Jeger Sahadutah.

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That will be extra credit on your future quiz. But Jacob called it

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Gilead. Now those two words mean heap of witness, or the Hebrew of heap of witness.

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So one in Aramaic, one in Hebrew. Remember, this is Laban the Aramean. So he speaks that other difficult to pronounce word.

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And the Israelite, the father of the nation,

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Jacob, speaks Hebrew. He's a descendant of Heber, and that's a whole different language.

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So the same word, but one's harder to pronounce. We'll go with Gilead. Jacob called it

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Gilead. Laban said, this heap is a witness between you and me today. Therefore, he named it

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Gilead, and mitzpah, which means watchpost.

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For he said, the Lord watched between you and me when we are out of one another's sight. If you oppress my daughters, or if you take wives besides my daughters, although no one is with us, see,

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God is witness between you and me. Is that a good thing to say? I respect that.

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He knows he's not gonna be able to enforce anything on Jacob at this point. They're gonna be removed by hundreds of miles.

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Jacob could take more wives, which would cause neglect to his daughters, maybe kick them to the curb.

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Laban can't do anything. All he can do is trust God, and he reminds Jacob, your

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God is the witness between me and you. This is really good. Laban said to Jacob, see this heap and the pillar which

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I have set between you and me? This heap is a witness, verse 52, and the pillar is a witness that I will not pass over this heap to you, and you will not pass over this heap and this pillar to me to do harm.

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It doesn't mean they can't visit and say, I won't bring a warring group against you. This is a peace treaty. Maybe we need some peace treaties in conflicts.

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This is where we wanna go, that God would bring us to peace. Not by smoothing over a conflict and pushing it down as if it doesn't exist, but by working through it and coming to terms, which is what they're doing here.

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Verse 53, the God of Abraham and the God of Nahor, the God of their father judged between us. So Jacob swore by the fear of his father

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Isaac, and Jacob offered a sacrifice in the hill country. He called his kinsmen to eat bread.

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They ate bread, and there it is again, Stan. This meal brings together, and they spent the night in the hill country.

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Early in the morning, Laban arose and kissed his grandchildren. He needed to do that. He has grandkids.

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These are the sons of Israel. Reuben, and Simeon, and Levi, and his daughters, and Judah, and blessed them.

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Then Laban departed and returned home. It's a lot better way to say goodbye than to have never seen them again and wonder what ever happened to them.

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So the conflict resolution is way better than where it began. And the application of this is that unreasonableness, unbiblical thinking, unjust thinking, like Laban had in his jealous anger, will cause conflicts.

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We're going to face conflicts because we live amongst sinful people. They must come, but God is over them, and he is using those conflicts for something better than the place where it started.

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God will work it together for our good. So maybe you have conflict in your life. That doesn't mean necessarily that you're doing anything wrong, but you should examine your own heart.

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Live at peace with all people as far as it depends on you. Consider that maybe there are some idols under the donkey or hidden away.

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Maybe there's something you don't know. There's some information you haven't considered. How is that going to get teased out?

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Conversation, actually talking. Sit down over a meal. Face a situation as men or as women, face to face, not through talking to other people, not through gossip.

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Work it out. Pray that God would give the same kind of peace that he did here. He's able to do it. He's just and faithful to do it.

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Tim, would you pray? Yeah, sure. Father God, thank you so much for your word. It's so amazing to see how your hand of blessing could really bless people, and I thank you for this message, and I'm just so more encouraged to live for you and make sure my spouse is okay, and that we just know if you're on our side, then who can really be against us?

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Nobody. So we thank you for this teaching on how to deal with conflict and for the peace that you give, and I pray that everyone in this room and everyone listening online can acknowledge you, acknowledge their own error, and repent and restore relationships and restore relationship with you,

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Lord. Thank you for being our God, and we give you the honor and the praise and the glory in Jesus' name. Amen.